5 Ngā Mea e Mahihia ana e Ngā Tāne e Whakapouri ai Ngā Wahine i roto i Ngā Hononga

He aha te mea e kore ai te wahine e māia i roto i te whanaungatanga? He tino māmā noa iho ngā wāhine. Ki a rātou, ko ngā mea iti o te whanaungatanga te mea nui. Ko ngā mahi ngāwari o ia rā, pērā i te mihi ki a ia, te mārama ki ana hiahia, me te noho tahi me ia, he rerekē ki te miharo i a ia ki ngā koha papai.

Ahakoa ngā mea iti e tiakina ana e rātou, ka taea tonu e ngā tāne te whakararu i ngā wāhine. E kōrero mai ana taku hoa, kei roto i tētahi hononga harikoa, ki ahau, "Ahakoa tō māua harikoa katoa, he maha ngā wā ka akiaki taku tāne i ahau ki te taha o te porangi. Ina koa ka tae mai ki ngā kare ā-roto o te kore haumaru o taku hononga. Kāore he mea kino atu i te wā e warewarehia ana ahau e ia - ā, kāore ia e mōhio ki tāna e mahi ana!"

Hei mārama ki te hinengaro o te koretake o te wahine, me te whakarite kia kore ai e ruarua tō hoa wahine i a ia anō – i a koe anō rānei – tirohia ēnei mea e rima e mahia ana e ngā tāne hei mea kia kore ai e māharahara ā rātou hoa wahine. Inaianei ka mōhio koe ki ngā mea kāore e tika kia mahia.

He aha ngā wāhine e pōuri ana

Ka rite ki tenei tuhinga, nā ngā kairīpoata o Amerika, a Katty Kay rāua ko Claire Shipman, i tuhi te pukapuka matua Te Waehere Whakapono e tūhura ana i tētahi āhuatanga o tō tātou hapori: "He nui ake te māia o ngā tāne i ngā wāhine, ahakoa he ōrite, he nui ake rānei ngā pūkenga o ngā wāhine." Whakamahia tēnā ki ngā whanaungatanga aroha.

Ehara i te mea uaua te mōhio ki te whakautu ki: He aha te mea ka meinga ai te wahine kia pōuri i roto i tana whanaungatanga? He āhuatanga pāpori pakari tēnei, ehara i te mea ko ngā wāhine anake e pāngia ana. Ko ngā tāne anō hoki kua whakaritea kia kaua e ngoikore. Ko te mea nui, e aroha ana ia ki a koe. E hiahia ana ia kia whakaatu koe i te aroha kia rongo ai koe i te aroha me te whakamanahia e koe. Ahakoa kāore pea koe e tinihanga ana i a ia, tera ētahi whanonga, ētahi kōrero rānei ka taea te whakaoho i te pōuri o tō hoa.

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• He nui rawa ngā katakata me ngā kōrero whakakatakata: Kua tae kōrua ki tētahi wāhi o tō kōrua whanaungatanga e kukume tonu ana tētahi o kōrua i te waewae o tētahi atu? Ahakoa te ātaahua o tēnā i te tīmatanga, ka raru pea te hinengaro o te wahine, ā, ka heke iho tōna whakaute ki a ia anō. He nui te tūponotanga kāore koe i te whakaaro kino ki tāu e kōrero ana ki a ia. Heoi, tera pea ka tīmata ia ki te whakaaro he teitei ō paerewa kāore e taea e ia te whakataurite.
• Ngā wheako o mua: he rangahau e kī ana ko ngā wheako kino, ngā tauira kino rānei nā te whakakorenga a te kaitiaki/hoa ka arahi pea ki putea kare me ngā kare ā-roto pōrearea o te kore haumaru. Ko te tikanga tēnei, kāore pea koe e mahi he ana, engari kei te pā atu koe ki ōna mamae mai i tōna tamarikitanga, i ōna whanaungatanga o mua rānei
• Te wheako taunekeneke: Ko tētahi atu āhuatanga nui e kore ai te wahine e noho haumaru i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ko te whanaungatanga moepuku i waenganui i a ia me tana hoa. ako e tohu ana ko te iti o te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō mō ​​te moepuku me te nui ake o te manukanuka moepuku e whakatau ana i te nui o te koretake o te wahine i roto i tana whanaungatanga.
• Te kore aroha ki a ia anō: Ko ngā āwangawanga o ngā wāhine mō te āhua o ō rātou tinana, mō ō rātou uara rānei i roto i te oranga o ētahi atu, koinei ngā mea e kore ai rātou e ara ake i te pō. Ki te whakaaro tō hoa wahine kāore i te whai hua i a ia anō, kāore ia e tino whai hua i roto i tana whanaungatanga ki a koe. I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, me āwhina pea ia e te tohunga, e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei, hei āwhina i a ia ki te whakaoti i tēnei raruraru.

Ngā Tohu o te Āwangawanga i roto i ngā Wahine

Ina pōuri te wahine i roto i tana marena, i tana whanaungatanga rānei nā te koretake o te māia, tera ētahi tohu ka kitea e koe. Ahakoa he rerekē te āhua o ia wahine ki te whakahaere i ōna kare ā-roto uaua, tera ētahi āhuatanga whānui o ngā wāhine koretake me ā rātou mahi ina kore rātou e pai ki a rātou anō.

Kia maumahara, kāore he tūponotanga nui o te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine pōuri, pērā i ētahi kiriata whakamataku ka meinga koe kia whakapono. Ahakoa ehara i te mea he raruraru nui, ka whakatuwhera i te ara mō te kore harikoa i te wā roa, ā, he maha hoki ngā tautohetohe whanaungatangaNō reira, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi tohu whakatūpato e whakaatu ana kei te pōuriuri tō hoa rangatira i roto i tō whanaungatanga, kua tae mai koe ki te wāhi tika i tēnei rā. Anei te āhua o te whanonga pōuriuri o te wahine:

• E hae ana ia: Koinei te āhua o te koretake o te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa tāne, wahine rānei, ka whakaatu wawe te hunga koretake i tēnei tohu tuatahi o te pakanga ā-roto. Tērā pea ka hae ia ki ō hoa, ki ngā wāhine kē atu e noho tahi ana koe, me te hunga e aro nui ana koe ki a ia.
• Ka pato ia i ngā āhuatanga: Ina kore te tangata e māia ki a ia anō, ka noho mokemoke ia. Engari ko te whakakakahu me te haere tahi me koe ki ngā pāti, he pai ake ki a ia te noho ki te kāinga. Tērā pea ka māia ia nā tana take ahua tinana, tōna kore angitu i te ao, te whakaaro rānei o te tangata mōna
• Kāore ia i te kiri mātotoru: Nā te kore whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, e kore rawa te wahine māharahara e aro ki te katakata mōna anō. Inaa, ki te mea ka takaro tonu koe ki a ia mā te kōrero i roto i te āhua ngahau, ka peke pea ia ki ngā whakaaro kino mō ō kare ā-roto mōna. Ka whakaaro ia kāore koe e aroha, e whakaute rānei i a ia, engari he takaro noa iho koe.
• He tangata ia e pai ana ki te iwi: Ehara i te mea ko tō hoa wahine pōuriuri anake e hiahia ana kia paingia ia e koe, engari kia arohaina ia e te katoa o te rūma. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o te whakahāwea i roto i te wahine. Ahakoa kāore ia e pai ki tētahi, ka kite koe i tana mahi nui ki te atawhai i a rātou, kia rongo ai ia he maioha rātou ki a ia.
• He tangata tiaki ia, ā, e mahi ana ia i ēnei mahi: He maha ngā āhuatanga ka puta ai te koretake o te wahine, he mea whakarihariha, he mea whakamā hoki. Ko ētahi o ngā wāhine koretake e rapu tonu ana i te mana i roto i te tautohe, ā, e kore e whakatau i tētahi take mēnā kāore rātou e whakapono kua toa rātou. E āwangawanga tonu ana rātou kia tika, ā, ka tino tiaki pea i a rātou anō i te aroaro o ngā whakahē.
• Me whakamana tonu koe i a ia: Ko tētahi o ngā tohu noa o te āwangawanga o ngā wāhine ko te kore e taea e ia te haere me te kore e aro atu koe. Ki te mutu tō kōrero ki a ia mō tētahi wā nā te mea he pukumahi koe, ki te mutu rānei tō mihi ki a ia pērā i mua, ka tangi tonu ia i te whakaoho, ka tīmata te mahi pērā i te tangata hoa wahine piriponoMe whai whakamarie tonu te wahine e māharahara ana, mai i te hunga e karapoti ana i a ia.
• Ka whakarite ia i a ia ki ō hoa o mua: Ina he pumau, he haumaru hoki ngā whanaungatanga, kāore he take e whakaaroaro ai te tangata ko wai te hoa i mua. Koia tēnei tetahi o ngā tohu o te kore haumaru o te whanaungatanga mō te wahine. Tērā pea ka hiahia ia ki te kaha ake i tō hoa o mua. Tērā pea ka whai tonu ia i tō hoa o mua i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori.
• He raruraru tōna āhua tinanaKo tētahi o ngā mea tino kitea mō tētahi hoa koretake ko tōna aro ki ngā tirohanga a te tinana. Me tūpato koe i a koe e kōrero ana mō tōna tinana, nā te mea ahakoa ngā mea tino pai ka kino ake tōna āhua. Tērā pea me whai wawaotanga ngaio tēnei.

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5 Ngā Mea e Mahia ana e Ngā Tāne Hei Whakapoauau i Ngā Wahine

Ahakoa te āhua haumaru o te wahine, ka taea e te whanonga a te nuinga o ngā tāne i roto i ngā whanaungatanga te whakakorikori i te whakapono ki a ia anō, ahakoa ko ngā wāhine tino kaha. I ētahi wā, te āhua nei ka puta he kōrero a ngā tāne e ranea ana hei whakapoauau i te wahine ki a ia anō me tōna mana. Ka pā kino tēnei ki tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō, ā, ka huripokitia ia. Hei tauira, ko te kī i tētahi mea pēnei i te "Kei te nui rawa tō urupare, kāore koe e mōhio ki tāu e kōrero nei" i te wā o te tautohetohe he mea kino. tohu o te mura hau. Ā, tērā pea ka pā he kino nui ki te hunga e whiwhi ana i te pānga.

Ahakoa kāore koe i te tino hiahia ki te tinihanga i tō hoa, ka waiho pea he whara roa ki ō rātou kare ā-roto. Ka arahi pea tēnei ki ētahi atu raruraru ā muri ake nei. I ētahi wā, ko te mea e kore ai te wahine e māia i roto i te whanaungatanga ehara i te mea kino pērā i te whakamāoritanga kino. Mā te whakataurite noa ki tētahi hoa, ki tētahi hoa mahi rānei, ka nui pea hei whakaoho i a ia ki te pātai i a ia anō.

Ae, he maha ngā āhua o te koretake o te whanaungatanga. Ina puta pinepine ēnei kōrero, me te kore e mōhio ki te kino e pā mai ana, ka mutu pea he kino ki tētahi hoa.

Nā, he aha te mea e kore ai te wahine e māia i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ko te kore māia i roto i te whanaungatanga, i ētahi wā, kāore he pānga ki ngā kōrero a te hoa kē. Mā te kore e mihi ki a ia i te wā e whakapau kaha ana ia ki te whakakakahu māu, mā te hoatu rānei i a ia nga mihi ki muri, tērā pea ka meinga ia e koe kia whakaaro kāore ia i te rawaka. He take āwangawanga tonu te kore e maioha ki ngā mea e mahia ana e ia māu.

Kia tahuri tātou ki ngā mea e rima e mahia ana e ngā tāne hei whakararuraru i ngā wāhine, kia mōhio ai koe kāore koe e whai wāhi ana ki tētahi whanonga kino e kore e kitea.

1. He tikanga o ngā kōrero teka mā, me te pupuri i ngā mea ngaro

I haere tika atu koe ki te kāinga o tō hoa, ā, i kōrero atu ki tō hoa he hui mahi tino nui tāu. I taea e koe te kōrero i te pono ki a ia, ā, kāore he raruraru e puta mai. Ahakoa te āhua koretake o aua kōrero teka, ka mutu ka puta he raruraru. take whakawhirinaki ā muri ake nei. Kaua e rapu kupu whakamāori, e huna rānei i ngā mea i a ia. Kia mārama.

He maha ngā wā ka riri te hoa wahine o taku hoa a Tony, a Jess, mō āna kōrero teka. Ka teka ia ki a ia mō te roa o tana taenga ki te wharekai, mō āna mahi rānei i te kāinga hei karo i ngā tautohetohe koretake. Engari ka whakama ia i tēnei.

Ina kitea e tō hoa ngā kōrero teka katoa e kōrerotia ana e koe ki a ia, pērā i te teka mō te ira tangata o tētahi hoa mahi, te teka rānei mō tō wāhi noho, ko te mea anake ka hoatu he take ki a ia kia ruarua ai ia i ngā mea katoa e kōrerotia ana e koe. Ka pērā anō hoki tāu urupare, kāore? Ko te pono me te pono ngā mea nui e rua i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Ko te kōrero teka tētahi o ngā mea e kinongia ana e ngā wāhine, ā, ka taea e ia te noho hei pūtake o ngā āwangawanga i roto i te whanaungatanga.

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2. Ko te kore aro ki ngā tuhinga kuputuhi tētahi o ngā mahi a ngā tāne e whakapataritari ana i ngā wāhine

He aha te mea e kore ai te wahine e māia i roto i te whanaungatanga? Koinei tētahi o ngā mahi e mahia ana e ngā tāne, me te kore e mōhio ki te nui o te kore māia ka pā ki tā rātou hoa. Ahakoa he mahi iti noa iho tēnei ki a koe, ka taea e ia te whakaoho i ngā kare ā-roto ki tō hoa, ā, ka kite pea rātou he tohu tēnei kua kore koe e aroha ki a ia, ā, kua hoha pea koe ki a ia.

Kotahi Reddit kaiwhakamahi E kōrero ana ia mō tōna āwangawanga ina kite ia i te rerekētanga o te auau o tana hoa tāne ki a ia. E mea ana ia, "Āe. Ka ngāwari taku piri atu ki a ia, ā, nā te mea he tangata taunga ahau, ka raru pea taku mahunga ina kore taku hoa tāne e waea mai ki ahau i ngā wā katoa pērā i tana mahi. Ko te mea e āwhina ana i ahau ko te pupuri i ahau ki ētahi atu mea kia kore ai ahau e whakaaro nui."

Mena he tangata koe e pānui ana i tēnei, anei ngā mea hei maumahara māu:

• Ki tāna titiro he whakahāwea tēnei: Ki a koe, he karere kuputuhi noa iho pea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakautu ā muri ake nei. Engari ki a ia, he rite ki te kore whakaute, ina koa ka tupu tonu. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro ia kāore tēnei i te tika me pēhea te tuku karere a ngā tāne ina pai ana rātou ki a koeTērā pea ka puta ake ngā pūtake o ōna ake āwangawanga. Tērā pea ka whakaaro ia kei te whakararuraru ia i a koe, kei te whakapataritari rānei i a koe, kāore rānei koe e hiahia kia noho tahi me ia.
• Ngāna ki te whakaiti i tōna manukanuka: Whakarongo mai ki ā mātou tohutohu, ā, whakarongo mai. Kāore ia e tono ana kia whakautua mai e koe i te wā tonu ka tukuna atu e koe he karere kuputuhi ki a ia, engari ko te mea iti rawa ka taea e koe ko te whakamōhio atu kei te pukumahi koe, koia te take kāore e taea e koe te kōrero roa atu ki a ia.
• Tauira tuhinga: Mā te tuku karere kuputuhi pēnei i te "E hika mā, he pukumahi ahau i tēnei wā. Ka tuku karere kuputuhi atu ahau ki a koe ā muri ake nei" ka pai ake tōna ngākau. Heoi, ki te tuku karere kuputuhi ia i ia rima meneti i muri i tō kī atu kei te pukumahi koe, he rerekē te kōrero.

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3. Mā te kore aro ki a ia i roto i te taiao pāpori ka pā kino ki te pumau me te haumaru o ngā whanaungatanga

Ki te hiahia koe kia noho haumaru te wahine i a ia e noho tahi ana me koe, koinei te mea whakamutunga māu e mahi. Tuatahi, ka karanga koe i a ia ki te pāti a tō hoa, ā, kei te harikoa ia ki te whai wā pai ki a koe me ō hoa. Heoi, i tō taenga atu ki te huihuinga, ka mau koe ki ō hoa, ā, ka roa te wā ka mōhio koe kua noho noa iho tō kōtiro i te kokonga.

Ae, kāore pea tēnei e tupu mēnā he hoa kē atu āna i te pāti, he tangata harikoa rānei ia. Engari, mēnā kāore ia e mōhio ki tētahi i reira, kāore rānei i te tino hiahia ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, kua whakarērea ia e koe. Ā, kāore tēnei e pai mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga, inā koa mēnā kua take whakarere.

E kite ana koe, ko te mea e kore ai e māia te wahine i roto i te whanaungatanga, ehara pea i te mea nā ō kōrero ki a ia. I ētahi wā, ko tō whanonga puku engari whanoke te mea e kore ai ia e māia, e whakaoho ake ai hoki i ōna raruraru kua puritia. Tērā pea kua kukumea koe e ō hoa, ā, kua noho puku tonu koe, engari ki te mea kua ngaro koe mō te haora kotahi, kāore he tohu whakapā atu, tera pea ka meinga ia kia māia. mokemoke. 

Kāore mātou e tono ana kia amohia e koe tāu hoa wahine i runga i tō ringa mō te pō katoa, engari kia kaha ki te tirotiro i a ia. Mena he hoa hou kōrua, he pai ake kia ako wawe koe i tēnei. Me titiro tonu ki a ia, me kihi wawe rānei i a ia i ētahi wā, ahakoa kua wehe kē kōrua i tētahi pāti. Ka maioha ia ki tēnā, ā, tera pea ka whakamama i ōna mataku kei ngaro koe.

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4. Mā te kore e whai whakaaro ki ō rātou whakaaro ka noho māharahara ngā wāhine

Ka puta ake hoki te koretake o te whanaungatanga ina whakatau takitahi ngā hoa, me te kore e aro nui ki ngā kōrero a tetahi. Ka nui te kino ki te hauora hinengaro o te tangata nā te mea ka whakaaro pea rātou kua kore e arohia.

• Whakaarohia ōna whakaaro mō ngā take iti, me ngā take nui: Mai i ngā whakataunga o ia rā pēnei i te wāhi e kai ai koe i waho, me pēhea rānei te whakahaere i ngā pūtea o tō whare, ki ngā whakataunga nui pēnei i te whakamahere whānau me te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga. Ki te kore koe e kōrero ki tō hoa i mua i te whakatau i tētahi mea, ka noho pōuri ia.
• Te whakaaroaro i roto i te hinengaro mō te kore o te whakawhirinaki me te whakaute: Kia meinga ia e koe kia whakaaro kāore he wāhi mōna ki te whakatau, kei te whakaatu kē koe kāore he whakawhirinaki me te whakaute i waenganui i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Kaua e whakatau i ngā whakataunga nui pēnei i te neke ki tētahi atu tāone, te huri mahi rānei me te kore e whakauru atu i a ia. Nā te mea, kei te hanga hononga kōrua, ā, ka iti ake tōna hiranga mēnā kāore koe e kōrero ki a ia.

5. Ka whakaaro tō hoa wahine kāore ia i te tino pai ina kore koe e kōrero mō tō mua

Kei te hiahia koe ki te whakatau i te āwangawanga i roto i tō whanaungatanga? Tangohia aua angaanga i roto i te rūma huna. Ki a koe, kāore pea he pānga o ō whanaungatanga o mua, engari he mea pai tonu kia tuwhera ki tō hoa hou mō taua mea. Ki te kore, ka puta te āwangawanga i roto i te wahine. Mā te huna i ngā mea kino mō tō mua, teka mā te wareware māna anake e whakamā ai ia mēnā ka kitea e ia aua mōhiohio i tētahi rā.

Kati te tātari i ngā mea e tika ana kia kōrerotia e koe ki a ia, nā te mea kei te āwangawanga koe kei pā ki tana tirohanga ki a koe. Ahakoa e mārama ana mātou he roa te wā kia tae ai ki tētahi wā ka taea e kōrua te kōrero i ngā mea katoa, ngana kia kaua e tinihanga ki tāu kotiro. Ka taea e ia te wikitoria i te koretake o te māia mena ka pai koe ki te whakamārama i ngā mea.

Heoi anō, he mea nui kia mārama koe ki tana taha o te kōrero. Akohia tōna hītori, ā, ka mārama pea koe ki ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a ia me ngā mea pea e whakararuraru ana i a ia i tēnei rā. One Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kōrero ana mō te pānga o ō rātou wheako o mua ki ō rātou āwangawanga i roto i tō rātou whanaungatanga o nāianei, "Mōku nei, he kore whakawhirinaki me te wehi kua pūmau mai i ngā wheako o mua me ngā whanaungatanga tukino kare ā-roto. Kei roto ahau i te whanaungatanga tino hauora kua pā ki ahau i tēnei wā, engari kei te raru tonu ahau i te puta ake o ngā āwangawanga, ahakoa kāore e pā ana ki taku hoa o nāianei. Ko te rongoā me te tuwhera ki taku hoa mō ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te āwangawanga me te āhua o taku mahi i roto i taua āwangawanga kua tino āwhina i ahau."

E ngā tāne, kua mōhio kē koutou. Kati te mahi i ngā mea o runga ake nei ki te tangata e tino arohaina ana e koutou. Tērā pea he mea kāore i te āta whakaarohia, engari e mōhio ana koutou i nāianei, ka pā ki te oranga o tō kōrua hononga. Nō reira, tīmata anō i roto i te whanaungatanga Ki te mea me mahi koe. Kōrerotia ki a ia ō whakaaro mōna, whakaaturia te nui o tō aroha ki a ia, ā, kia pai ki te whanaungatanga kāore he āwangawanga. Ā, e ngā wāhine, kaua e pupuri i ngā feaa koretake i roto i ō koutou mahunga. Kia tika, kia mārama, āe, kia ngoikore.

Ki te whakaaro koe kei te tino hē haere ngā take whaiaro e pā ana ki tō whanaungatanga, he pai tonu te rapu āwhina ngaio mō tō whanaungatanga hei huarahi tiaki i a koe anō. Ka taea e ia te āwhina ki te wetewete i ngā mamae o mua, koinei pea te take mō te whakahaere i ngā whanonga, te whakakino i a koe anō, me ngā tumanakohanga koretake i roto i tō whanaungatanga. He waimarie, he iti noa iho te hunga tohunga o Bonobology e tohutohu ana i a koe. pawhiri atu.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.