Ina he tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere i roto i tō marena, he aha tāu e mahi ai? Ka piko koe ki te mana whakahaere, ka hanga rānei i ō ake rohe? He hunga e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere i ngā wāhi katoa. Ka kitea rātou i roto i tō whānau, i tō rohe, i te toa hokohoko, i runga pahi, tereina, rererangi, tae noa ki roto i tō marena. Koinei te wāhi e tino kino ai. I roto i ngā marena o te whakatupuranga o mua, ko te ture kore tuhituhi ko te tāne te rangatira, ahakoa he maha ngā wāhine ka hinga i te pūnaha mā te whai mana nui i roto i te rūma moe. Koira te mea e pupuri ana i ngā here i roto i ngā āhuatanga katoa o te marena. I roto i ngā marena hou ake nei, ka kite ahau he māramatanga tō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore tēnei e whakaaetia e tētahi o ngā ira tangata, nō reira te āhua nei he ōrite te mahi a rātou. Ko te Momo tuakiri A te āhua nei ka uru atu ki ngā tauira whanonga whakahaere nui atu i te tangata marino, marino hoki. Me titiro tātou ki ngā tohu o te tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere.
He Tohu kei te Āwangawanga tō Hoa ki te Whakahaere
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Me pēhea e mōhio ai koe mēnā kei te whakahaere te hoa? Ki te kōrero pono, ehara i te mea ngāwari ki te kī mēnā kei te whakahaere te hoa Mena kua mōhio noa koe ki a rātou mō ētahi marama. Tērā ētahi wā kua roa te wā e whakaipoipo ana te tangata engari kāore he tohu o te mana whakahaere, ka tīmata te kitea i te wā i moe ai te tokorua. Ka taea e ngā wāhine te whai mana whakahaere hei tane. Ngā tāne whakahihi he pai ki te whakahaere nui ake, ā, ko ngā tohu o te whakahaere he ngawari i ētahi wā, i ētahi wā ki tō kanohi, ā, i ētahi wā he kare ā-roto, he kare ā-roto hoki te raweke hinengaro hei whakahaere i tētahi hoa. Kei reira tonu ngā tohu o te hunga hiahia ki te whakahaere, me mārama noa koe ki ēnā.
1. Te patereareha whakahaere
Kāore e taea te whakakorekore i te meka e noho ana tātou i roto i te hapori patriarchal, ā, kua tipu ake ngā whakatupuranga o ngā tāne i runga i te whakaaro ko ia mana whakatau ka riro i a rātou. Me horoi noa e tōku pāpā tōna korokoro, me pāorooro rānei tōna arero hei whakahē mā mātou katoa o te whānau kia mataara ai.
Nā te mea ko ia te upoko o te whānau, ā, he mea nui tana whakaae. Ka titiro noa ia ki tōku whaea, kātahi ka ngohengohe ia.
Kāore i te tino maha tēnei mahi nā te mea i aroha tonu ia ki a ia, ā, he tangata ngawari hoki ia. Engari i a mātou e tamariki ana, i mōhio mātou kia kaua e riri ki a ia. Kāore ia i whakanui i tōna reo, kāore hoki i amuamu – i mōhio noa mātou ki tana whakahau mā roto i tana reo tinana. I a ia te mana whakahaere i a mātou, he mea kāore i kitea engari he tino kitea.
2. Te ringa marino, pumau i runga i te whiu
Kua kite ahau i tēnei i roto i te whanaungatanga marino o taku taokete wahine me tana tāne. I pai te haere o ngā mea katoa tae noa ki te huihuinga whānau nui, ā, i reira te harikoa, te kata me te harikoa.
I te kitenga atu i te iwi e whakareri ana ki te haere ki waho, ki te pāpa pea, ka karanga mārie atu ia ki tana tāne me te aroha, ā, kāore tetahi i kite i a ia mō te toenga o te pō.
I kī ia kāore ia i te tino whai hua i runga i te moenga i muri i tana haurangi. Engari he take pea tēnā kia kaua ia e tuku kia ngahau tahi me ngā tāne? He tohu tino tēnei kei te whakahaere tō hoa rangatira mēnā kāore ia e tuku i a koe ki te mahi i tētahi mea e pai ana koe ki te mahi i runga i tētahi take ngoikore. I tēnei take, ko te hiahia o aku auwahine ki te whakahaere i tana tāne he nui ake i tana mārama ki tana hiahia mō te ngahau.
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3. Te kaiwhakahaere pūtea
Kāore taku tāne i te tangata apo. Ina hoki, ka porangi ia ki te hoko i ngā mea pai rawa atu i te mākete. Kāore ia i mangere ki te utu i ngā pire nui mō te waipiro a ōna hoa i ngā pā, ā, ka tuku moni mai anō hoki ki te tangata. Heoi, kāore tōna atawhai i tae mai ki ahau. I haereere noa ahau me te kore moni, ā, i tētahi wā ka whakakahoretia e ia te 40 tāra hei hoko tauera horoi māku. Ko tana whakaaro me whakarite e au i mua.
Ki taku whakaaro, ko te mana whakahaere pūtea a te hoa te tohu kino rawa atu o te mana whakahaere. Ina hoki, kua kite ahau i ngā wāhine e whiwhi moni ana, ā, he tino angitu ā rātou mahi, engari me tuku e rātou ā rātou moni ki ā rātou tāne, ā, kāore i a rātou te mana herekore ki te whakapau i ā rātou ake moni. He tāne e tiaki ana i tāu moni, e whakangao ana hoki i taua moni, ā, me pātai atu koe ki a ia i mua i te hoko i tētahi koha mā tō hoa rangatira, kia tūpato kei te whakahaerehia ia e te tangata, kāore ia e manaakitia ana. Tērā pea ka kiia tēnei he te tukino pūtea.
4. Te karaka whakaoho
Ka tangi nui tēnei tāne mēnā ka tomuri koe i te meneti kotahi, ki te oho ake, ki te haere ki hea rānei, ki te tiki kai rānei. Kāore ia e whakaaro ka taea e ia te āwhina, te mahi tahi rānei i ngā mahi. He tino rangatira ēnei tāngata, ā, ka riri wawe rātou mēnā kāore ngā mea e tutuki i tā rātou e pai ai. Tērā pea he hunga angitu hoki rātou ki te whakatutuki i ngā mea katoa . Ko tētahi atu āhuatanga o tēnei ko te mea he hunga mā rātou, ā, ka kitea e rātou he paru i ngā wāhi kāore koe i moemoeā. I mua, i karanga tētahi o ōku hoa i ētahi atu tāngata he "matapo paru". Tērā pea he OCD rātou, ā, ka rere pōrearea mēnā kāore he mahere e tutuki i tā rātou e pai ai, ā, he mahere noa iho pērā i te whakaaturanga kiriata, i te hokohoko nui rānei. Engari kei roto i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine tēnei āhuatanga.
5. Te wahine mahi
He ranunga tēnei o te momo tangata A, te OCD me te tangata e hiahia ana ki te tino pai. Ka kitea ēnei momo tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere i roto i te nuinga o ngā wāhine rangatira o te ao pakihi. E hiahia ana rātou kia pai, kia ātaahua hoki ngā mea katoa i te kāinga, pērā i tā rātou e hiahia ana ki te wāhi mahi. Pērā i te mea kei te pai te noho o tā rātou tēpu mahi i te tari, e tumanako ana rātou kia rite te pai ki te kāinga, ā, ina kore ngā tamariki, te tāne rānei e tutuki i ana paerewa, ka taea e ia te amuamu, te hamama, te whakahihi me te moe kia tutuki ai tana hiahia. Ehara ia i te momo tangata e tuku ana i a koe kia haere ki te kore e whai i tana hiahia. Nō reira, i te wā e haere ai koe ki te kāinga tino pai o tētahi wahine whai mana, kāore koe e mōhio he aha te momo oranga o tōna whānau.
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6. Te tāne mōhio-ki-ngā-mea katoa
He nui tōna harikoa ki te whakaiti i tana wahine, i te wā tūmataiti, i te aroaro hoki o ana hoa. He āhua pouri ina uru atu ana ngā hoa ki tēnei whanonga whakarihariha. Ki te mea he wahine koe e noho puku ana i mua i tēnei tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere, ka piki ake ngā āhuatanga ki te tutu ā-whare, nā te mea me whāngai tēnei momo kaipahua i tōna koretake ki ngā taumata teitei ake o te nanakia. Ka tīmata ia mā te whakahaere, engari ki te kore ia e aukatia, ka tīmata te whakapono ki ana ake teka me tōna mana, ā, kāore pea ia e mōhio me pēhea te whakamutu.
7. Te hoa whiriwhiri
He aha te āhua o te aroha me te manaaki i te tīmatanga o tō whanaungatanga nā te mea kei te whiriwhiri tō hoa i ngā kākahu e mau ana koe, kei te hoko i ngā hū e tika ana mōu, kei te whiriwhiri i te waea pūkoro e mau ana koe, kei te rapu i te tahua kai māu i te wharekai, tera pea ka tīmata te whakakōkī me te whakakī i a koe. He tohu tēnei mō te mana whakahaere. Ahakoa he whānui tēnei i roto i te maha o ngā whanaungatanga, he mana whakahaere ngāwari tēnei, ā, ka taea te whakangaro i te whanaungatanga.
8. Te kaiwhakahaere whakahoahoa
Me pēhea e mōhio ai koe mēnā kei te whakahaere tetahi? Mēnā kei te kī atu ia ki a koe kia kaua e noho hoa ki ētahi tāngata o tētahi ira tangata, o tētahi ira tangata rānei. Ae, he whanonga whakahaere noa iho tēnei. I noho hoa a Suhani me tētahi atu wahine i a ia e tuku ana i tana tama ki te kūaha o te kura. I tētahi rā ka tono a Suhani i a ia ki te tina ki waho, ā, ka whakaae ia me te harikoa. Engari i waea tonu te tāne ki a ia i ia rima meneti, ā, ka kite a Suhani kāore tana hoa i te pai.
I muri i taua rā ka tīmata ia ki te karo i a ia i ngā kūaha o te kura, ā, i muri i te tau kotahi o tana kitenga i ana whakaahua FB i tae mai me tōna whānau anake, kāore rawa me tētahi hoa, ka mōhio a Suhani kāore te tāne a tana hoa i pai ki a ia kia whai hoa.
Nō reira, ko ia te kaiwhakahaere i te hunga hei hoa mōna.
9. Puritia te whānau kia matara atu
Tērā pea he whānau whānui piripono tō kōrua, tērā pea he tino piripono kōrua ki ō whanaunga, ā, tērā pea kei te haere tahi kōrua ki ngā hararei. Ina kore tō hoa e whakaae ki ō hononga whānau, ā, ka karo i ngā huihuinga whānau, ehara i te mea he whakama ia, engari he tohu pea he hunga hiahia whakahaere ia. Mā te pupuri i a koe kia matara atu i tō whānau, kāore pea e taea e koe te toro atu ki a rātou ina whakahaeretia koe. Nō reira, kia mōhio koe, ko te kore e pai o tō hoa ki tō whānau, tera pea he āhua pouri.
10. Tikina he whakaaetanga
Ka riri tō hoa ina kore koe e whakaae kia haere koe ki te hoko huawhenua i te mākete, ki te toro atu rānei ki tētahi hoa noho tata? He rerekē te whakamōhio i tō hoa, he rerekē te tono whakaaetanga. Ki te mea e hiahia ana rātou kia pātai atu koe i mua i te mahi i tētahi mea iti rawa, he tino hoa whakahaere tōu. He mārama rawa ngā tohu.
Ki te kite koe i tētahi o ngā momo āhua o runga ake nei i roto i tō hoa rangatira, me tīmata koe ki te kōrero ki tētahi, ki tētahi hoa, ki tētahi kaitohutohu, ki tētahi mātua rānei, nā te mea he tohu noa iho ēnei o te mana whakahaere. Tērā pea kei te taka koe ki roto i ngā tūponotanga nui o te ngaronga o tō herekoretanga me tō mana motuhake me ngā tumanakohanga katoa mō te pārekareka ki tētahi whanaungatanga aroha. Ko te hunga e hiahia ana ki te mana whakahaere ka pāngia tonutia e te kino hinengaro hohonu, te kore whakawhirinaki rānei, ā, me hiahia āwhina ngaio.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Kāre au i te mōhio mēnā ka arahi tēnei whanonga whakahaere i ētahi whara nui ki te hinengaro me te tinana, engari ki taku whakaaro ehara tēnei i te āhuatanga hauora.
He maha ngā taputapu e whakamahia ana e te hoa whakahaere hei whakahaere i tana hoa, ā, i ētahi wā ka tae te mana whakahaere ki te whakaaro o te tangata e whakahaerehia ana ki a ia anō he tangata kino.
Nō reira, ehara i te tohu pai.