Te Whakahou i te Rangimārie ki tō Wā o Mua – 13 Ngā Tohutohu Whakaaro Nui

"Ko koe te kawenga mō tōu oranga. Kāore e taea e koe te whakapae tonu i a koe anō mō ​​tō ngoikoretanga. Ko te ao he neke whakamua." 

Oprah Winfrey. Ko te hohou i te rongo ki tō mua te huarahi anake ki te neke whakamua.

Engari kāore e kore ko te hohou i te rongo ki tō mua tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua ki te mahi. Ahakoa ngā marama i muri i tō wehenga , kei te mau tonu ngā tohu o ngā maharatanga. Kei te noho kau koe, kei te mokemoke hoki . Ahakoa ko wai te he, kei te whakapae tonu koe i a koe anō mō ​​ngā mea i tupu.

Kei te taha koe o te iwi hei whakamarie i a koe, engari kei te whakaaro koe kāore tetahi e mārama ana ki ō wheako. Ka tīmata koe ki te mauahara ki a koe anō nā tō hītori. Ki te hiahia koe ki te neke whakamua, me houhia te rongo ki tō hītori. He mea nui kia houhia te rongo ki tō hītori kia kore ai e whakararuraru i tō wā o nāianei.

He aha te tikanga o te hohou i te rongo ki tō mua?

Ka puta ngā mea i roto i tō tātou ao, kāore e taea e tātou te whakahaere i ngā mea katoa. Ka puta ngā wehenga, ka waiho pea e te tukino tamariki he koha hohonu i roto i tō hinengaro, ā, tera pea kei te mahi tahi koe me ngā mātua kino mō tō oranga katoa.

Ki te kore e taea e koe te wareware i ngā mea i pā ki a koe i mua, kāore e taea e koe te waihanga hononga whai hua ā muri ake nei. He ngāwari ake te kōrero i te mahi. I ētahi wā, i roto i te hinengaro, i te hinengaro rānei, ka mau tonu tātou i te riri me te mamae i roto i a tātou mō ngā tau i mua i te tukunga atu. Kei te mau tonu tātou i aua kawenga kare ā-roto . E mea ana te tangata ki a tātou, "Hohouhia te rongo ki tō mua kia kore ai e whakakino i te wā o nāianei." Engari kāore rātou e kōrero mai me pēhea te tino taea te karo i te noho ki mua.

Engari, tērā pea ka puta he wā o te māramatanga, ka mōhio rānei koe ki te whakautu ki tētahi pātai i whai tonu i a koe. Kātahi ka rite ki te hihi o te rā e whiti ana ki a koe, ā, ka taea e koe te tuku atu, te hohou i te rongo ki ō hapa o mua.

Hei tauira, i roto a Rene i tētahi hononga ki tētahi tāne kua moe tāne i a ia e 16 tau te pakeke, ā, i ngaro tōna wahinetanga i a ia . I tōna neke atu, ka waiho ia e ia me te kore e taea te noho tahi me tētahi tāne mō ngā tau 10 i muri mai, kāore i taea e ia te noho pai ki tētahi tāne mō te whanaungatanga ā-tinana. Engari 10 tau i muri mai ka mōhio ia i muri tata mai i tā rāua hononga ki a ia, ka whānau tā rāua tama me tana wahine, ā, i kī ia e kinongia ana e ia.

"Koinei te rā i mōhio ai ahau kei te whakamahi noa ia i ahau, ā, i pupuri tonu ahau i taua aroha me te whakaaro he aroha pono. I taua rā ka taea e au te hohou i te rongo ki tōku hītori, ā, ka taea e au te pārekareka ki te whanaungatanga piripono ki taku hoa tāne mō te wā tuatahi," te kī a Rene.

Te Whakahou i te Rangimārie ki tō Wā o Mua – 13 Ngā Tohutohu Whakaaro Nui

Ka whai tonu tō hītori i a koe kia tae rā anō ki te wā e awhi ai koe. Hei whakatau i te rangimārie ki ō hapa o mua, ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te whakaae. Mā te whakaae ki tō hītori ka kore e taea e ia te whakahaere i a koe. Me whakahaere e koe tō hītori kia mutu ai tana whakahaere me te whai i a koe.

Ka taea e ō wheako o mua te whakarere i tō tirohanga ki te ao. Hei tauira, ka whakarerekē te whakarere i tētahi tāne , ā, ka mamae pea koe mō ngā tau maha i te wehenga atu i tētahi i arohaina nuitia e koe . Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe ka hoki anō koe ki ō hapa o mua i roto i tō whanaungatanga hou. Engari ko tā mātou tohutohu kia mutu te noho ki te ao o mua. Hoatu he rongo ki tō ao o mua kia kore ai e whakakino i te ao o nāianei.

Ki te hiahia koe ki te hohou i te rongo ki tētahi i whara i a koe, me hohou i te rongo ki a koe anō i te tuatahi. Anei ngā huarahi 13 hei hohou i te rongo ki tō hītori.

1. Whakarerea koe

Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te hohou i te rongo ki tō hītori ko te muru i a koe anō. Ina whara tātou i tētahi, ka whakapae tonu tātou i a tātou anō ahakoa e mōhio ana tātou ehara i te mea nā tātou . Nā te mea kei te whakapae tātou i a tātou anō mō ​​ngā kōwhiringa hē. He mea nui kia murua tō hara e koe anō, kia mārama hoki ehara i te mea nāu.

Ka hē te tangata, ā, ka hē koe. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō, engari me mārama koe kāore koe i mahi i tetahi mea hē i runga i te mōhio. Kāore koe i te mōhio ka whara koe i tēnei tangata, nō reira, me pēhea rā e taea ai te kī he nāu?

2. Tangohia hei akoranga

Ko ia hapa e mahia ana e koe he akoranga kia kore ai koe e mahi anō i taua hapa. Engari kaua e hoki anō ki te tangi mō tō hītori, engari me whakamahi hei akoranga.

Kia mārama ki ngā tohu kino katoa i puta ake i te wā o te akoranga. Whakamahia ēnei tohu kino hei wheako ako kia kore ai koe e tukua kia whara anō koe i taua ara anō. Kati te whakaaroaro ki tō hītori, ka neke whakamua.

Mā ngā akoranga i akohia e koe mai i ō whanaungatanga o mua koe e ako ai, e whakapakari ai hoki hei tangata

3. Murua ia

Ko te roa o tō pupuri i te mauahara ki te tangata nāna koe i whara, ko te roa hoki o tō tuku i tō hītori kia whakahaere i a koe. Ko te pupuri i te mauahara he tikanga kei te pāngia tonu koe e tō hītori. Tērā pea ka roa te wā ki te wikitoria i tō hītori engari me anga whakamua koe i te tuatahi.

Mā te murunga hara o te tangata i whara i a koe, ka taea e koe te tango i te taahiraa tuatahi ki te neke whakamua, me te muru hoki i a koe anō.

4. Kati te hara

Kāore he take e whakama ai koe mō ngā mea i pā ki a koe. Me kite koe i a koe anō hei patunga, ā, me kaha ake koe.

Ko koe te tangata e mamae ana, e pōuri ana hoki. Kaua e whakama mō tētahi mea ehara i te mea nāu. Engari, tātarihia te āhuatanga, kia kite ai he aha te take. Ki te tinihanga tō hoa i a koe, kaua e whakaaro nā te mea kāore koe i te ātaahua.

Kia maumahara ki ngā hoa o ngā tāne tino ātaahua, ngā wāhine tino ataahua rānei, ka tinihanga anō hoki rātou. Tukua rātou kia whakama , he aha koe me pēnei ai te whakama?

5. Hei whakatau i te houhanga rongo ki tō mua, me whai wā koe

He rerekē te tauhohenga a ia tangata ki ngā āhuatanga. Tērā pea ka neke atu ētahi i roto i te wiki, ko ētahi he maha ngā tau ka neke atu. Ki te mea kei te hiahia koe i te wā ki te hohou i te rongo ki tō hītori, me whakapau i te wā e hiahiatia ana e koe.

Tērā pea ka hiahia koe ki te noho tawhiti atu i ētahi atu tāngata. Whakamahia te wā e hiahia ana koe ki te "mōku ake". Mā te tere o te whakaora ka puta he whakamarie poto noa iho, ā, ka hoki mai anō ngā kare ā-roto.

6. Whakaaetia ngā mea mō tōna āhua tūturu

He maha ngā wā ka hokihoki tātou ki ngā mahi o mua, ka whakaaro tonu ki ngā huarahi me i rerekē ai te mahi. Ka pouri tātou, ka whiua tonutia tātou mō tēnā. Kati te whakaaroaro ki ngā hapa o mua.

Me whakaae koe ki te meka kua oti kē te mahi. Kāore e taea e koe te whakarerekē i tetahi mea. Kāore he ara e taea ai e koe te hoki ki ngā wā o mua ki te whakarerekē i tetahi mea, ā, kāore hoki e taea e tetahi mea e mahia ana e koe te whakarerekē i te meka kua whara koe, kua tinihangatia hoki . Me whakaae koe ki te mea kua oti, ā, me titiro whakamua.

7. Arotahi ki ngā mea kei a koe

Ehara i te katoa he hoa pai kei tō taha i ngā wā e hē ana te āhua. Kia waimarie koe kei a koe ō hoa aroha i tēnei wā o tō oranga. Kia noho koe hei wahine harikoa i hiahia tonu koe, kia noho rānei hei tāne ka taea te whakatau i te wehenga me te tīmata anō i te ao hou.

Arotahi ki te hunga e aroha ana ki a koe, kaua ki te tangata nāna koe i whara, i whakarērea hoki kia tangi. Mā te aro ki ngā mea kei a koe ka mōhio koe he nui atu ngā mea kei roto i tō koiora i tō whakaaro.

8. Kia pono ki a koe ano

Hei whakatau i te houhanga rongo ki tō hītori, me pono koe ki a koe anō e pā ana ki ō kare ā-roto. Mā te noho tonu ki te whakakorekore me te karo i te āhuatanga ka kino noa iho i te wā roa.

Kōrero ki a koe anō, me te kī atu ki a koe anō ō kare ā-roto me te nui o te pānga ki a koe. Mā te pono ki a koe anō ka māmā ake tō wairua, ā, ka tere ake tō neke atu i tō mua.

9. Kaua e whakaroa

Me mārama koe ehara tēnei i te mutunga o te ao. Me whakapono koe kei te haere mai te pai. He maha ngā wā, ina mamae tātou, ka wehi tātou kei pā mai anō taua mea ki a tātou. Nō reira, ka noho puku tātou, ā, kāore e tukua kia piri atu ki tētahi atu.

Kaua e whakaroa, kaua hoki e tukua tō hītori kia pā ki tō nāianei. Whakapono ka puta ngā mea pai ki a koe, ā, me anga whakamua. Kati te whakakino i a koe anō i tō whanaungatanga , me te hohou i te rongo ki tō hītori.

10. Pupuhihia

Ko tētahi atu huarahi kaha ki te hohou i te rongo ki tō hītori ko te whakaputa i tō riri me tō pōuri. Ka taea e koe te whakaputa i tō riri ki mua i te tangata, ka taea rānei e koe te whiriwhiri ki te mahi i tēnā i mua i te whakaata.

Mā te whakaputa i ō kare ā-roto ka hoki anō tō āhua tangata. Tērā pea ka rite koe ki te mea ka pakaruhia e koe tētahi pakitara, ā, ka noho ngoikore koe. Tērā pea ka noho ngoikore koe i tēnei wā, engari i te iti rawa ka taea e koe te tango atu i taua mea i roto i tō tinana, ka māmā ake te ahua.

11. Tukua kia haere

Ki te hiahia koe ki te hohou i te rongo ki ō hapa, me te neke whakamua, me tuku atu e koe. Mā te pupuri tonu i tō hītori ka mau tonu koe i roto. Kei a koe te kī hei whakaora i a koe anō i tō hītori.

Mā te pupuri tonu ki tō hītori ka noho kau noa iho koe. Mea atu ki a koe anō kua tae ki te wā kia neke atu koe, kia tukua atu hoki aua maharatanga katoa . He uaua engari koinei te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakaora i a koe anō i tō hītori.

12. Korero ki tetahi

He tokomaha te hunga e pai ake ana kia kaua e kōrero mō ō rātou hītori ki tētahi atu, nā te mea e wehi ana rātou kei whakahē te tangata i a rātou, kei whakaaro rānei he ngoikore rātou. Ka hē te katoa, ā, kāore he aha.

I ētahi wā, mā te kōrero i tō hītori ki tētahi atu ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau pai ake i a rātou. Tērā pea ko tō hoa tēnei tangata, he tuākana, he teina rānei, he kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei.

Ngāna ki te kōrero ki tētahi e whakawhirinaki ana koe ki a ia. Mā tēnā koe e tere ake te ora. Ki te mea kāore anō kia mutu te aroha o tō hoa wahine ki tana hoa o mua, ka taea e koe te kōrero mōna, me te āwhina i a ia kia neke whakamua.

13. Aroha ki a koe ano

Ina whara koe i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, ka ngaro tō hiahia ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa. Ka rite koe ki te mea kua ngaro katoa i a koe, ā, ka hiahia koe ki te whara i a koe anō. Ko te mea pai rawa atu mā te tangata ko te aroha ki a ia anō.

Ko te aroha ki a koe anō te mea nui rawa atu. Kaua e rapu i ētahi atu hei whakahari i a koe ina taea e koe anō. Whakaharitia koe ki āu kai tino pai, ā, whakaharikoa hoki i a koe ki ngā mea e arohaina ana e koe. Kaua e whakaroa ina tae mai ki a koe.

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te hohou i te rongo ki tō mua. Ko te wāhanga tino uaua ko te tango i te taahiraa tuatahi. Me whai whakapono koe, me whakapono hoki ki a koe anō ka taea e koe te neke whakamua. Whakamahia tō mua hei akoranga mō tō wā o nāianei me tō heke mai. Kaua e tukua kia whakahaere i a koe. Ko koe anake te tangata ka taea te whakahaere i tō ao, nō reira kia whakahaerea. Tīmata ki te aroha ki a koe anō, kaua hoki e tukua tō harikoa kia whakawhirinaki ki ētahi atu. Rapua te rangimārie i roto, ā, ka memeha haere tō mua.

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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