I hangaia ōku whakaaro o mua mō te aroha e Disney. He kōtiro ātaahua, he rangatira ātaahua, me te kākahu marena roa, mā e tohu ana i te 'harikoa ake ake'. I a au e pakeke haere ana, te āhua nei he rite tonu te whakaaro o ngā pukapuka me ngā kiriata i uru atu ahau – he rite te aroha pono ki te marena. Heoi, i roto i tētahi ao uaua haere, e whānui haere ana te whakamāramatanga o te aroha, ka puta ngāwari mai ngā pātai pēnei i te 'He pai te marena?'.
He ao hou tēnei. Kei te huri haere ō tātou tirohanga me ngā whakaaro mō ngā whanaungatanga, te aroha, te whanaungatanga piripono me te whakapau kaha. Ko te aroha takatāpui, ngā marena tuwhera, te aroha maha, me ērā atu mea, he mea tūturu e neke atu ana i te ariā o te hononga e whakaaetia ana e te hapori e pā ana ki te tokorua takatāpui. E whakakorekore ana rānei tēnā i te kaupapa o te marena?
Ahakoa kei te whakaae ake te iwi ki ngā whanaungatanga noho tahi, me ngā hononga tuwhera e whakaatu ana i te whanaungatanga matatika, he mea nui tonu te ariā o te marena ki te marea. Kāore e taea te whakakore i te meka he maha ngā wero me ngā uauatanga o te marena. Me te mea he whatunga o ngā tūranga me ngā kawenga e tatari ana ki te hopu i a koe ki roto ake tonu atu.
He aha tātou e kore ai e whakatā mō tētahi wā poto i ō tātou hinengaro e mawhiti ana, e maioha ana ki ngā painga o te marena? He hononga ataahua te marena e hono ana i ngā hoa wairua e rua tae noa ki te wā e wehea ai rāua e te mate. E mōhio ana koe kei a koe tētahi i tō taha i ngā wā katoa hei whakapuaki i tō harikoa me ō raruraru i roto i ngā wā pai me ngā wā kino.
Ahakoa ngā āhuatanga katoa, kei te whakaaroaro tonu tātou i te whakatau kia noho tahi tātou mō te wā roa me te tangata kotahi. Nā tēnā ka hoki tātou ki te pātai - he aha te kaupapa o te marena i ēnei rā? Kei te whai wāhi tonu te marena i roto i te ao e noho nei tātou? He aha te tohu o te marena? Kei a tātou te tohunga hinengaro haumanu. Ātia Puojari (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro Hauora, Tohu Paetahi PG i roto i te Hinengaro Whakaora) hei whakarei ake i a tātou ki āna māramatanga mō ngā painga me ngā mate o te marena.
Ngā Take hei Marena – Ngā Mea e Whiwhi Ana Koe
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Kāore he raraunga whakamutunga mō te tīmatanga o te marena hei tikanga, engari e kī ana ētahi kaituhi hītori ko te kawa tuatahi i tuhia i waenganui i te tāne me te wahine i ahu mai i te 2,350 BC i Mesopotamia. He nui ngā kōrero tuku iho me ngā kōrero tuku iho e whakamārama ana he aha i uaua ai te whakarere i tēnei tikanga.
"I ēnei rā, he maha ngā kaupapa e tū ai ngā marena," te kī a Adya. "Ko ētahi e rapu ana i te tautoko kare ā-roto, ko ētahi e hiahia ana ki te tautoko pūtea. Mō te nga marena kua whakaritea, he ia o ngā ahurea matatika, ka whai wāhi te mana pūtea me te mana hapori o te whānau. Ā, mō ngā marena aroha, ko te mea nui ko te noho tahi me te whiwhi i te tautoko kare ā-roto, hinengaro me te pūtea.”
I runga i tōna hītori roa me ōna hononga kaha ki te whakapono me te whakaaetanga a te hapori, he wāhi nui te marena i te ao. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe, "He pai ake te marena?" Me hiahia pea koe ki ētahi atu whakautu motuhake ki "He pai te marena mō te wahine, mō te tāne rānei?", mehemea kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio ko tēhea ira tangata te mea tika. harikoa ake i roto i te marena.
Ahakoa pēhea, kei konei mātou i tēnei rā me ētahi take pakari hei whakatenatena i a koe he aha te take e ora tonu ai ngā marena, me te whakaatu atu hoki i tētahi pikitia o te oranga kāore he marena. Nā, me tatau e koe, ā, me whakatau ko tēhea taha te mea nui ake māu, me te mea kei te tautoko koe i te marena, kei te rerekē rawa atu rānei.
Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Take Pēke mō te Marena
1. Pumau kare-a-roto
Kua hainatia e koe tētahi tuhinga ture, kua whakahuahia rānei ngā kupu taurangi i mua i tētahi pirihi, i ngā mea e rua rānei. Ā, kei tētahi wāhi kei te marino tō ngākau nā te mea e mōhio ana koe ka noho tahi kōrua ake ake. Ae, kua rongo koe i ngā tatauranga katoa mō te whakarere me te uaua o te ora i muri i te wehenga, engari i nāianei, kāore koe e hiahia ki te manukanuka ki aua āhuatanga 'mehemea rānei'. Kua moe tāne koe, ā, he mutunga whakamiharo kei roto. Ina pātaihia, "He pai te moe tāne?", ka taea e koe te kī me te tino mohio he pono.
"He pono, he maha ngā whanaungatanga kino me ngā wehenga i pā mai ki ahau, ki taku whakaaro he mea whakamarie te marena ki taku tāne," te kī a Jenny. "Kāore au i hiahia ki te whakaipoipo anō, ki te whakaaro rānei ki te tikanga o te whanaungatanga, ki te mea rānei kei te tino piripono māua. Ko taku i hiahia ai ko te tino māramatanga, me te kore e whakaaro nui ki te aroha anō. Ki ahau nei, he rite te marena ki ngā tarau poto o ngā whanaungatanga, ka taea e koe te tino whakamarie. Ā, kua rite ahau mō aku rā tarau poto whakamarie e noho tahi ana me taku tāne hou kua marenatia, me te kore e manukanuka ki tetahi mea o te ao."
Ahakoa kua whānui haere ā tātou kōwhiringa me ā tātou whakamāramatanga mō te aroha i ngā wā tata nei, tera pea he nui rawa ngā kōwhiringa ka arahi atu ki te pikinga o te pōhēhētanga me te pakanga ā-roto. Kei roto i ia whanaungatanga hou te tūponotanga o te ngaro o te māramatanga, ngā tohu o te mura hau me ērā atu mahi whakamataku hei whakararuraru i tō āhua hinengaro o nāianei.
Ehara i te mea kāore he here i roto i te marena, engari ko te tumanako kua mōhio pai koe ki te tangata e moe ana koe i mua i te urunga atu ki tētahi hononga pumau ki a ia mō te wā roa. Ki te whai tātou i te kōrero tawhito ko te marena he mea nui ki te aroha pono, ka noho ko te pumau o ngā kare ā-roto hei painga nui i roto i te hononga marena.
2. Pūmautanga pūtea
Kei te anga tika tātou mai i te aroha pono ki te taha ōhanga, nā te mea, kia pono tātou, he whanaungatanga tauhokohoko nui te marena. Ā, ahakoa te aroha pono, ka hinga i raro i ngā āhuatanga pūtea pōrearea, ā, taumahatanga pūteaMena he wahine mahi koe, ko te tikanga o te marena he kāinga rua-moni, he pumau pūtea hoki mōu me ngā tamariki e whakaaro ana koe kia whānau. Mena kāore tētahi o kōrua e mahi ana, e mōhio ana koe ka tiakina te reti me ngā kai.
"I te wā e whakaipoipo ana ahau, i tino whakanuia e au te 'pūmautanga pūtea' ki taku rārangi," te kī a Nicole. "He kaituhi motuhake ahau, ā, he pono, kua hoha ahau ki te kore moni i ngā wā katoa. I ngā wā katoa e ahua ana kei te anga whakamua māua ko tētahi tāne ki te marena, ka pātai pono ahau mō āna mahi ā muri ake nei me āna mahere pūtea."
Ki te haina koe i tētahi whakaaetanga prenuptial, ka taea e koe te whakarite i tō haumaru pūtea ahakoa kāore te marena e angitu. He tino makariri, he tino haumanu te ahua, engari he pai ake i te hoki ki te noho ki ō mātua i ō tau 30. He pai ake te marena? Tirohia te toenga o tō peeke i mua i tō kī kāore.
3. Te uniana e whakaaetia ana e te hapori
Ahakoa te nui o te whakakorikori o ōku niho i tēnei kupu, hei wahine kore marena i roto i ōku tau 30, e mihi ana ahau ki ngā painga o te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tuku iho kāore e ara ake ngā tukemata. He aha te tikanga o te marena? Te haumaru, te tūpato, te kore e manukanuka ki te kimi i tētahi rā mō tētahi marena, te noho ko koe anake i te Rā o Valentine mō te toenga o tō oranga? He kino rawa te tangi o tēnā? Kāore au i te tino whakapono!
Mā te mea kua moe koe, ka taea e koe te noho tahi i te rūma moe kotahi i te kāinga o ōu mātua ina haere koe ki reira mō ngā hararei. Ko te tikanga, kāore tō rangatira whenua, tō wahine whenua rānei e titiro whakahāwea ki a koe i te wā e kawea mai ana e koe he rā ki te kāinga. Ā, kāore ianei e pai ki te kore e haere ki ngā huihuinga whānau hei tangata kāore anō kia moe, ā, ka whai tonu mai ō whaea kēkē me ō matua kēkē i a koe e pātai ana mō ō mahere marena?
"Engari, he tika rawa te marena mōku?", ka pātai koe. Āe, kāore au i te pai ki te kōrero atu i tēnei ki a koe, engari kāore anō tō tātou hapori kia neke atu i tēnei momo whakaitiiti. Ā, ki te eke koe ki te 30 tau i ētahi tau kua pahure ake nei, ka kitea e koe he maha ngā titiro aroha mai, me ngā whanaunga e tuku ana ki te whakarite i a koe ki ngā tāne takakau e kiia ana he tika mai i roto i ō rātou hoa. Nō reira, ki te rapu koe i ngā take hei marena, ko te whakakore i te pēhanga pāpori mō ake tonu atu tētahi o aua take.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaipoipo mō te Marena? 15 Ngā Mea Hira Me Whakarite Koe
4. Hauora me te inihua
He pai ki ahau te kiriata I Te Moe Moe, engari ko te mea tino kitea ki ahau ko te korenga o Sandra Bullock i whakaaetia kia toro atu ki a Peter Gallagher i te hōhipera nā te mea he 'whānau anake'. Waihoki, kua tata ki te tekau tau māua ko taku hoa rangatira e noho tahi ana engari kāore e taea e au te tāpiri i a ia ki taku inihua hauora i te mahi nā te mea ehara ia i te hoa rangatira. Kia mahara, he maha ngā whakahaere e whakarerekē ana i ēnei kaupapa here kia uru atu ai ngā hononga ā-whare, engari he tukanga puhoi.
Mena kei te noho koe i tētahi whenua kāore i te motuhia te ratonga hauora, ā, kāore hoki e wātea ana ki te katoa, e mōhio ana koe he nui te utu mō te toro atu ki te tākuta. Nō reira, ki te mea ko te marena te mea e hiahiatia ana hei whakarite kia ora tō tinana me tō inihua, me whakaaro pea koe ki tēnā. Ki taku whakaaro, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka taea e koe te whakautu māia me te ĀE ki te raruraru 'He pai te marena?'.
5. Tautoko i ngā wā uaua
Anō nei, ehara mātou i te kī kāore he hoa rangatira mō te wā roa e tautoko i a koe. Engari he maha ngā wā, ko taua tuhinga ture mō te marena he take nui. Koinei pea te whakarāpopototanga o te kaupapa o te marena i ēnei rā. Tae noa ki tēnei rā, me whakaae koe ki te ture me te hapori kia whakamanamana ai koe ki te whakapuaki i tētahi hei hoa mōu mō te wā katoa.
"Kua mate taku pāpā, ā, i haere māua ko taku hoa ki te tangihanga," te kī a Jack. "He tikanga tuku iho tonu tōku whānau, ā, i ohorere rātou i taku kawe mai i a ia. He nui te ngangau mō taua mea, ā, i tino whakararuraru rātou i ngā mea. Kāore i puta ake ki a rātou ko ia taku pūnaha tautoko i a au e pouri ana, nā te mea kāore māua i marena."
Kei te kaha tonu ngā mana marena ki te wikitoria i te whanaungatanga, i te whanaungatanga rānei mana noho tahi mā te whakatau ko wai te tangata whai mana ture hei whakamarie i a koe. Hei hoa rangatira, kei a koe te mana ki te pupuri i te ringa o tō tāne, o tō wahine rānei i a rāua e pouri ana, e mamae ana rānei. Ā, ki te kore koe e noho tahi ana, e wairangi ana rānei tō hoa rangatira, he mea whakamarie te whai i tētahi hei tiaki i a koe i ngā wā uaua.
6. Te haumaru me te ngāwari whānui
I ia wā ka haere ahau ki te toa hoko kai, ka tū pōhēhē ahau i mua i ngā 'peke whānau' katoa. I taku hiahia ki te hoko i tētahi tēpu kai, ka whakaaro ahau he aha i kore ai he mea iti iho i tētahi huinga e whā. Kei te hangaia tonutia te ao mō te hunga kua moe tāne, ā, he whānau ā rātou. Ināianei, ko te ritenga kē o te marena ehara i te mea ko te noho takakau – tera pea kei te whakaipoipo koe, kei roto rānei i tētahi hononga wā roa – engari ko te mea pono tonu ko te marena te huarahi tino watea hei haere.
Kei te harikoa ō mātua, kei te pai ō hoa ki te pae inu tuwhera i te marena, kua whakaritea tō inihua hauora, ā, ko te tumanako, kāore koe e hiahia ki te mau Spanx anō i te wā e whakatau ana koe. Ko te mea nui, ko te haumaru me te whai wāhitanga te mea e kukume ana i te tangata ki te noho marena. Inaa, he tino pai ake ngā tāne kua marenatia i runga i te hauora hinengaro me te tinana, e ai ki tētahi. he tuhinga i whakaputaina e te Kura Hauora o Harvard. He māramatanga tēnei, e whakaatu ana ko tēhea ira tangata te mea e harikoa ake ana i roto i te marena.
"Ki taku whakaaro, kāore e taea te tautuhi i tētahi atu huarahi hei whakakapi i te marena," te kī a Adya. "Kāore te noho tahi me tētahi e rite ana ki te marena nā te mea he tukanga ture te marena hei hoa rangatira mā tētahi. Ahakoa ka pōuri te marena, he maha tonu te iwi e haere tonu ana kia kore ai e raru te whakarere."
Ngā Take Kaua e Mārena – Ngā Mea e Ngaro Ana i a Koe
"He tini ngā take e kore ai e moe tāne," te kī a Adya. "Tērā pea he tangata kore-ira koe, he tangata aroha rānei ki ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, ā, kāore te marena me te hoa e pai ki a koe. Tērā pea kua kite koe i te tini o ngā mea kua kitea e koe." nga marena pouri ā, ka mamae koe i te whakaaro. Tērā pea kei te hiahia noa koe ki tētahi oranga kore raruraru, ā, ka whiriwhiri koe ki te noho motuhake.”
Kua hoatu e mātou ki a koe ngā painga o te kirimana marena, ā, me pēhea ngā ngoikoretanga? Ahakoa ngā āhuatanga whakamarie katoa e kawea mai ana e te whare, he aha ngā painga o te kore e marena? Mena kei te hiahia koe ki ētahi take tika hei tautoko i te kīanga 'Kāore e tika te marena' ā, kei te pai koe ki tō oranga takakau whakamiharo, kore āwangawanga, kei konei anō hoki mātou hei āwhina i a koe.
1. Te ngaronga o te herekoretanga whaiaro
Whakarongo mai, e mōhio ana mātou kei te anga atu ētahi o ngā marena o ēnei rā ki te ōritetanga me te tuwhera, engari ko te whakamāramatanga o te marena ko te mea ehara koe i te takakau, he haurua o te tokorua, he hoa rangatira. Kua tata kore te whakaaro ko koe hei tangata takitahi. Koinei tonu te wāhi e nui ake ai te hiranga o te pātai 'He pai te marena mō te wahine?'.
Mō ngā wāhine, inā koa, ka tino whakawhāitihia te whai wāhitanga ki te tūhura i a rātou anō, ahakoa mā te haere takitahi i muri i te marena, mā te huri mahi rānei. I roto i ngā hanganga pāpori tino here, ka herea ngā wāhine ki te whakarērea ō rātou ake ingoa, ka urutau ki tētahi tuakiri hou me te putea kī tonu i ngā kawenga hou.
"I hiahia ahau ki te tango i tētahi akoranga tuhituhi auaha i muri i taku marena," te kī a Winona. "Kāore taku tāne i aukati i ahau, engari i reira tonu tētahi mea hei arai. He iti te moni, he hiahia rānei ngā tamariki ki tētahi mea, he whakarite rānei ia mō tētahi whakatairanga nui i te mahi. Kāore he wāhi mōku ki te puta atu ki waho ki te tūhura i ahau hei kaituhi, hei tangata takitahi hoki." He maha ngā wā ka noho te takitahi hei kupu paru i roto i te marena, ā, ka kiia koe he tangata whaiaro mēnā ka whakatakotoria e koe ō ake hiahia ki mua. Nō reira, ki te whakautu i tō pātai 'He pai te marena mō ngā wāhine?', he mahi uaua.
2. Me mahi koe i ētahi tūranga
"Kāore au i te whakaaro i whakaarohia e au te nui o te kupu 'tāne' tae noa ki te wā i riro ai ahau hei tāne," te kī a Chris. "Ko te mahi nui ko te noho hei kaiwhakawhiwhi moni matua, me te mōhio ki te whakatika i ngā mea katoa ki ngā waea me te mātakitaki i ngā hākinakina. He pai ki ahau te tunu kai me te noho tahi me ā mātou ngeru, ā, kātahi anō ka tino miharo ahau ki taku whakaaro!"
Ka whakahoki tana wahine, a Karen, "I ia wā ka haere mātou ki tētahi huihuinga whānau, ka mea mai tētahi, "Aue, he kikokore te āhua o Chris; e Karen, kāore koe e tiaki ana i tāu tāne!" Ki te haere mai rānei ōna mātua, ā, kāore au i te kāinga mai i te mahi, ka puta ngā kōrero mō te korenga o ngā wāhine o ēnei rā i te wā ki te whakahaere tika i ō rātou kāinga."
Kāore tātou i te Waenganui o ngā Tau, engari kāore anō kia rerekē ētahi mea. Ko ngā tūranga kei a tātou i roto i te marena he rite tonu. Ko te tāne te upoko o te whare, ko te wahine te kaitiaki kāinga atawhai. Nō reira, he pai te marena mō te wahine? He pai te marena mō te tāne? Whiwhi moni ake, whāngaihia kia rua ngā tamariki, kātahi ka kōrero atu mātou ki a koe!
3. Te kore e taea te mawhiti i ngā whanaungatanga kino, i te whānau rānei
Ahakoa ka puta te tūkino me te tukino i te hoa noho i roto i te whare ahakoa kāore i te marena, he māmā ake pea te mawhiti atu mēnā kāore koe e herea e ngā herenga ture o te marena. He maha ngā tāngata kua roa e pāngia ana e te whakamamae ā-waha me te whakamamae tinana a te hoa rangatira tukino, kāore e roa te wā ki te kī atu kāore he pai o te marena.
"I kōrero kino mai taku tāne me ōku hungawai ki ahau nā te mea kāore au i taea te whānau tamariki," te kī a Gina. "Kāore au i te mahi i taua wā, ā, i akona tonutia ahau kia mau tonu tō marena, ahakoa te kino o ngā āhuatanga. I noho ahau mō ngā tau ki roto i taua mea." te whanau paitini ā, i whakangaro i tōku whakapono ki a au anō. I meinga ahau kia whakaaro i ia rā, 'He pai te marena?'"
E kitea ana te marena hei hononga tapu rawa atu, ā, kāore i te maha ngā whenua e whakaarotia ana te tutu ā-whare me te tāwharau i roto i te marena he hara. Ko te kōrero e titoa ana e tātou mō te marena tonu te take e noho tonu ai te tokomaha o tātou i roto i ngā marena kino. Koinei tētahi o ngā painga o te kore marena.
4. Te whakawhirinaki nui ki tētahi hoa
He rerekē te ngaronga o tō mana motuhake, engari ko te whakawhirinaki nui ki te hoa rangatira he huringa ngawari ake ka puta, kāore koe e mōhio. "Nā taku tāne i tiaki ngā pire me ngā taake katoa. I muri i tā māua wehenga, kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea te mahi i tetahi o aua mea. E 45 ōku tau, ā, kāore anō kia utua aku taake!" te karanga a Deanna.
Ka tāpiri atu a Bill, e whā tekau mā waru tau te pakeke, "Kāore au i ako ki te tunu kai nā te mea i mahi taku māmā i taku tamarikitanga, ā, i mahi taku wahine i tā māua marena. Inaianei kua whakarerea māua, ā, ko au anake e noho ana. Kāore e taea e au te kohuatia he hua manu." E hono ana tēnei ki te hunga e noho ana i ngā tūranga tuku iho i roto i te marena, ko te tikanga he pūkenga nui ētahi kāore e hiahiatia ana e tātou. Kia pono tātou, ko ngā taake me ngā hua manu kohuatia he mea e tika ana kia mōhio te katoa, ahakoa kua marenatia rātou, kāore rānei.
Te pānui e pā ana: 18 Ngā Tohu Matua mō te Marena Pōuri me Mōhio Koe
5. Ka raru pea te whakarere
"He maha ngā take kāore māua ko taku hoa a Sally e hiahia ki te marena," te kī a Will. "Engari, ko te nuinga, kāore au e hiahia ki te tūpono ki tētahi whakarere kino, whakarihariha, me te mātakitaki i te memeha haere o tō māua aroha nā te mea kāore e taea e māua te whakatau ko wai ka mau te pikitia o te hōiho i te rūma kai." E wehi ana te tangata kei ngaro i te maha o ngā painga o te marena, engari i roto i te pono, he rite tonu te whakahari me te whakahihiri o te oranga me te kore marena mēnā he hononga pakari tō kōrua ko tō hoa.
I te Hononga o Amerika, ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e marena ana mō te wā tuatahi he tata ki te 50% te tūponotanga o te whakarereAhakoa kāore e tika kia kino te pakaru o te marena, ka taea e ngā tukanga whakarere te mea kia kaha ake ai te whakahē tetahi ki tetahi. Nō reira, e kite ana koe, he uaua ki te whakatau ko tēhea ira tangata te mea e harikoa ake ana i roto i te marena. Ahakoa, pērā i te maha atu o ngā pūrongo rangahau, Te Daily Telegraphe kī ana hoki, kei te whiua e ngā tāne kua moe ngā wāhine kua moe i roto i te wāhanga harikoa.
"I te wā i whakatau ai māua ko taku tāne ki te whakarere, i aroha tonu māua tetahi ki tetahi, engari kua wehe kē," te kī a Annie. "Ā, ka uru mai ngā rōia, ā, ka tino kino te āhua. Kāore māua e kōrero ana i nāianei. Āe, me i noho hoa noa māua, ā, kāore i marena." Ki te pono, kāore he tangata e taea te kī taurangi ka aroha, ka whakawhirinaki hoki ki te tangata kotahi me te kaha ōrite mō te toenga o ō rātou oranga. Ka huri te tangata, ka whakarerekēhia ā rātou kaupapa matua i roto i te wā. Ā, ina hiahia koe ki te wehe atu, kāore te marena e tuku i tētahi ara mawhiti ngāwari ki a koe.
6. Ka whakawhāitihia e te marena tō tātou whakaaro mō te aroha
"Ko taku tautohe matua mō te marena ko te rapu whakaaetanga mai i waho hei whakapuaki i te mana o tētahi whanaungatanga whaiaro," te kī a Alex. "Kāore au e hiahia kia uru mai te kāwanatanga, te hāhi rānei, te hapori rānei, ka mea, "Āe, inaianei ka whakapuaki mātou he pono, he mana tō kōrua aroha." Mena kua whakatau māua ko taku hoa rangatira he pai ki a māua tō māua whanaungatanga, ahakoa tōna āhua, he aha ai te kāwanatanga, te hāhi rānei kia whai wāhi mai!"
E kitea ana te marena hei taumata teitei rawa atu o te arawhata aroha, ā, ka whakakorea ngā momo whanaungatanga katoa. Waihoki, ko ngā mea e rapuhia ana e tātou i roto i te marena tino pai – te aroha, te haumaru, hononga kare ā-roto, me ērā atu mea anō hoki – ka kitea i waho o te marena. Kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi pepa, ki tētahi tohunga rānei, hei whakamana i tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa.
Nō reira, he pai tonu te marena?
"Ehara i te mea he pai te marena. Ae, he maha ngā wero e pā ana ki te hunga kāore i te marena, engari ka tohutohu atu ahau kia ora rātou i ō rātou oranga katoa. Kaua e aro ki ngā kōrero a te tangata, ki ngā whakaaro rānei mōu. Kimihia tō hapori, ā, kia mau tonu te porowhita aroha ki a koe i ngā wā katoa. Me whakatū pea he rōpū tautoko hei whakapuaki i ō raruraru, hei noho haumaru hoki," te kī a Adya.
"Kia maumahara, nōu tēnei oranga, me noho koe i roto i te huarahi e hiahia ana koe. Ehara te mokemoke i te take pai hei marena – tera atu anō ētahi huarahi hei whakaoti i tēnei. Tāpiri atu ki tēnā, ka taea e koe te noho mokemoke i roto i te marena Me marena anake mēnā ka tino mōhio koe koinā te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe.”
Ko te marena tētahi huarahi hei whakapuaki i tō aroha, hei kawe rānei i a ia ki mua, engari kia mahara, ehara i te mea koinei anake te huarahi, ehara hoki i te huarahi pai rawa atu. Mēnā he kōwhiringa te marena, ehara i te whakatutukitanga, he pai tonu te pupuri i tēnei hei kōwhiringa. Ā, he pai anō hoki te noho tahi, te noho takakau, te whakaipoipo ki te tangata e pai ana ki a koe, te karo rānei i te whakaipoipo. Kia maumahara tonu kāore te marena e whakamana i te aroha, te haumaru, te whanaungatanga hauora, harikoa rānei. Ahakoa taku kino ki te whakaae, i hē a Disney.
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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
