Ko te hunga e whakapono ana kei raro i te mana teitei te mana whakahaere o ō tātou oranga, e whakaae ana kāore he tūtakitanga tūpono i te ao. Ahakoa te hunga pono, e whakaae ana rātou he take tō ngā mea katoa. He pai tēnei mō te hunga e haere mai ana ki roto i ō tātou ao i roto i ngā momo āheinga, i ngā wā rerekē. He hononga ao kei reira e hanga ana i ngā hononga tangata, e whakahaere ana hoki i te roa o te noho o te tangata ki roto i ō tātou ao me te tūranga e takarohia ana e rātou.
Ko ētahi ka wiri i a tātou, ko ētahi ka whakamarie i a tātou, ko ētahi ka whakatō i te wairua hou ki roto i a tātou, ko ētahi ka whati i ō tātou ngākau, ko ētahi ka āwhina i a tātou ki te whakaora – ā, he take tō rātou hei whakawhiti i tō tātou ara. Mā te ao whānui rātou e ārahi ki a tātou, e whakarite hoki i a tātou ki te manaaki i a rātou.
Ahakoa kāore pea i te pēnei te āhua i tēnei wā tonu, kāore he tūtakitanga o te ao e ngaro ana i te kaupapa. Kāore tātou e tūtaki noa ki tētahi. Ko te hononga ao, he tirohanga ahurei ki te wairuatanga e hono ana i te mātauranga tawhito ki te pūtaiao, e hanga ana i tētahi ara mō te māramatanga ake ki a tātou anō mō ngā momo whanaungatanga e whakatipuhia ana e tātou i roto i tō tātou oranga me te take.
He aha te Hononga Ao?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
E ai ki tā Paulo Coelho, "Ina hiahia koe ki tētahi mea, ka mahi tahi te ao katoa ki te āwhina i a koe kia tutuki ai." Āe, he huarahi anō tā te ao ki te mahi tahi ki te āwhina i a tātou i ngā huarahi kāore pea tātou e mārama, i te iti rawa me te kore he painga o te tirohanga whakamuri, ā, ka kawea mai e ia ki a tātou ngā mea, ngā tāngata rānei kāore pea tātou e rapu ana. Koinei te mauri o te hononga ao.
Ko te tikanga o te kupu 'ao whānui' ko 'te ao whānui'. Nō reira, ko te hononga ao whānui he hononga e hangaia ana e tātou me tētahi atu tangata e arahina ana e te ao whānui. He tūtakitanga i te mutunga, ki te pai koe. I te taha wairua, ko ngā hononga ao whānui he whakaaturanga o te āhua o tō tātou tupu i roto i te rere o te kaha o te ao whānui, e hono ana i ō tātou wairua ki te kaha o te taiao. Heoi anō, ko ngā hononga ao whānui he tawhiti atu i te kimi i tētahi hoa wairua.
He nui ngā taunakitanga e whakaatu ana kāore he mea e tupu noa mai i roto i ō tātou ao. Kāore tātou e tūtaki noa ki tētahi, kāore tātou e whakatau - pai, kino rānei - i runga i te hiahia, kāore tātou e whiriwhiri i tētahi ara ora i tētahi atu me te kore take. Ko tā tātou haerenga ora me te hunga e uru atu ana ki roto he whakaaturanga o te kaha o te ao e karapoti nei i a tātou.
He take tō te taenga mai o ngā momo tāngata rerekē ki roto i ō tātou ao i ngā wā rerekē, ā, ka noho rātou mō tētahi wā motuhake. Ko rātou tonu te mea e hiahiatia ana e tātou i taua wā o tō tātou ao, ā, e mōhio ana te ao whānui ki taua hiahia i runga i ngā mea kua whakapuakina e tātou i roto i te hinengaro, i te hinengaro rānei.
He rerekē ngā momo hononga ā-ao e whakawhanakehia ana e tātou katoa i roto i tō tātou oranga, ā, he mea nui ia hononga mō tō tātou tipu me te ahunga whakamua. Ehara i te mea ka roa te ora o ngā hononga ā-ao katoa – inaa, ko te nuinga kāore pea, ko ētahi he tino poto noa iho – engari ka taea e rātou te whakarerekē i te huarahi o tō tātou haerenga ake tonu atu. Waihoki, ehara i te mea he hihi mārama, he tohu tumanako hoki ngā hononga ā-ao katoa.
Ka taea e ēnei te noho hei tāngata uaua, hei whanaungatanga kino rānei e pakaru ai tātou, kia taea ai e tātou te whanake hei putanga pai ake o tātou anō. Ko te mea kotahi e kitea tonutia ana i roto i ngā momo hononga ao katoa, ko tā rātou āwhina i a tātou ki te whakarerekē i te ara o ō tātou oranga mā te homai i tētahi huarahi hou ki a tātou ki te titiro ki ngā mea.
Ina hono koe ki tētahi tangata i te ao tūroa, ka kitea tōna awe ki a koe. Tērā pea ka ohorere koe i te ara o tō oranga, ka āwhina pea koe i a koe ki te wikitoria i tētahi mate nui, kei reira noa rānei rātou hei whakaako i a koe i tētahi akoranga, me ētahi atu mea anō hoki. Heoi, ko te mea e mau tonu ana ko te waiho i tētahi tohu.
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Ahakoa he hononga ā-ao tōu ki tētahi, kāore pea koe e kite wawe i tō rātou awe i roto i tō koiora. Ina tomo mai, ina wehe atu hoki ngā hoa aroha kino i roto i ō tātou oranga, ko te mea whakamutunga e whakaarohia ana e tātou ko tā rātou i ako mai ai ki a tātou. I taua wā tonu, ka koa koe kua wehe atu rātou.
Engari, ehara i te mea he kino katoa te hononga porangi o te ao. Mena kua pāngia koe e tētahi whanaungatanga hauora kore, tērā pea ka whakaae koe ki te meka kāore koe i rite ki taua tangata me i kore koe i pā ki tētahi wheako pēnei. Tērā pea kei te ruku tonu koe ki ngā mahi aroha hou, ā, tera pea ka mōrearea.
Ahakoa rā, ehara te kukume o te ao i te mea ka taea e tātou te oma atu. Ina whakaritea e te ao whānui, ka tae mai ki a koe. Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te tikanga o te hononga ao whānui, me titiro tātou ki ngā momo ka pā ki a koe i roto i tō oranga, me ngā mea katoa ka hoatu e rātou ki a koe hei painga mō te wheako.
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Ko te tangata nāna i pakaru tō ngākau i ngā huarahi i whakarerekē i a koe ake ake. Ko te kaiako nāna koe i akiaki kia tono ki te whare wānanga kāore koe i whakaaro ka taea e koe te uru atu engari i uru atu koe. Ko te tangata ke i kōrero tahi māua, he mea whakamahana i te ngākau, i homai he tirohanga hou ki a koe mō te aroha me te ora. He hononga ao whānui ēnei e uru mai ana ki tō ao hei whakawhānui i ō tirohanga whānui.
Ko ētahi he rite ki te hau hou, ko ētahi he rite ki te pire kawa me horomia kia pai ake ai. He rite tonu te hiranga o ēnei katoa. Me titiro tātou ki ngā momo hononga ao kia mārama ai he aha tātou kāore ai e tūtaki noa ki tētahi:
1. Te hunga e whakamahara ana i a koe ki tō kaupapa
I raru a Aaron i tana kaupapa noho, ā, he maha ngā wā ka whakaaro ia kāore e taea e ia te aro atu, me te kore e taea e ia te whakatau i tētahi tohungatanga. I whakaaro ia ki te whakamutu i tana mahi i te wā i tautokona ai ia e tētahi tākuta matua, ko Tākuta Tom tōna ingoa, ā, i ārahi i a ia ki te huarahi kāore i kitea e ia ko ia anake.
Kāore pea a Tākuta Tom i te mōhio ki te whakaaro i waiho e ia ki a Aaron taitamariki. Tērā pea he āwhina noa iho tāna i hiahia ai, ā, kāore i puta ake ngā whakaaro mō te "hononga ā-ao" ki roto i tōna hinengaro. Ahakoa rā, i a ia e āwhina ana i a Aaron ki te whakatere i te kaupapa uaua o te hōhipera e mahi ana rātou, ka whakapūmau ia i te maioha hou ki te ora.
Ahakoa i mōhio rātou, i kore rānei, ko te kaiārahi o Aaron he hononga ā-ao i tukuna mai ki a ia hei whakamahara i a ia ki tana kaupapa me tana karangatanga tūturu. Mā tēnei momo hononga ā-ao koe e āwhina ki te whakapono ki a koe anō mā te hono atu ki ngā āheinga kāore koe i mōhio kei a koe.
Ahakoa ehara rātou i ō hoa wairua o te ao tūroa , ā, ahakoa kāore rātou e noho tonu i roto i tō ao ake ake, ka noho tonu rātou hei wāhanga o tō wairua ake ake. Pērā i te whakamaharatia o Ārona ki tana kaupapa, tērā pea kua tae mai tētahi wā i roto i tō ao i kitea ai e koe he maioha hou mō te ara e whaia ana e koe. Tērā pea i pāngia koe e te kaha o te ao tūroa, tērā pea i whai wāhi mai tētahi ki te ārahi i te ara.
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2. Te hunga e whakahihiko ana i a koe
He mana motuhake ēnei tāngata, ā, mā tō rātou noho mai i roto i tō koiora koe e whakahihiko kia pai ake ai tō āhua. Ina tūtaki koe ki te hunga e ora ana i te oranga e wawatahia ana e koe, ka whakahihikohia koe kia huri.
Ka taea te hanga i ēnei momo hononga ā-ao i ngā wā rerekē o te ao. He awe tino pai ēnei, ā, ka whakapono koe kāore he mea e kore e taea ina whakapau kaha koe ki te mahi.
He nui te kaha o ngā hoa aroha o te ao ki te whakaaweawe me te tautoko i a koe i tō haerenga kia noho ko koe te putanga pai rawa atu o koe. Engari, ehara i te mea ko ngā hoa aroha anake te hunga ka taea te whakaaweawe i a koe. Ki te hono atu koe ki tētahi i roto i te ao, ehara i te mea me piripono koe ki a rātou.
He tūroro mate pukupuku e mimiti ana i te wairua o te mate pōuri, he tūroro kua motuhia ōna waewae e piki maunga ana, ā, e kore e tukua kia tautuhia e tōna hauātanga, he whaea takakau e ngana ana ki te whakahaere i ngā mea katoa me te joie de vivre, ētahi tauira o te hunga ka taea te whakatenatena i a koe ki te pana i ō rohe me te whakapai ake.
3. Te hunga e ako ana i a koe
Ehara i te mea ko ngā hononga katoa o te ao he mea hei hoatu ki a koe; tera pea ētahi e haere mai ki tō ao hei ako i a koe. Tērā pea kāore koe e kite i tēnā mea kia aro atu rā anō koe ki te meka.
Ko taua kōtiro taitamariki o te whānau e haere mai ana ki a koe, e kī ana i te nui o tana mihi ki tō māia me tō toa, ahakoa kei te ruarua koe i roto i a koe anō, he hononga ao e whakawhiti ana i ngā ara ki a koe hei ako me te tipu. Ko te tikanga, koinei tētahi o ngā whanaungatanga tino pai ka pā ki a koe.
I tētahi ara, ko te hononga ā-ao ka mutu ko te hoatu me te tango tetahi ki tetahi. Ahakoa he tino kitea ngā akoranga e whakaakona ana e koe ki tēnei tangata, tera pea ka mōhio koe he nui ake āu mea i tō whakaaro. I a koe e whakatere ana i ngā wero e pā mai ana ki a koe i te ao - ahakoa te uaua me te ruarua - ka whakawhanakehia e koe he whakaaro ki a koe anō hei āwhina i a koe ki te wikitoria i aua wero.
Ā, ina maiohahia i tōna āhua tūturu, ka tata kitea te kukume o te ao tūroa. Tērā pea ka whakamahara koe i tēnei tangata ki tōna kaupapa, ka whakahihiko rānei i a rātou mā te noho ko koe anake. Ahakoa pēhea, he tohu noa iho tēnei he kaha te hononga ao tūroa ki tētahi ki te whakarerekē i ngā oranga. Mā ēnei hononga koe e mōhio ai ki te nui o te rerekētanga ka taea e koe te hanga i roto i te oranga o tētahi, me te kore e whakaaro ki tēnā.
4. Te hunga e whakamahara ana i a koe ko wai koe
Kāore ngā wairua e tūtaki noa mai, engari he take tō rātou ki te whakawhiti i ō tātou ara. Ko tētahi o aua take he whakamahara ki a koe ko wai koe. He maha ngā wā, i a koe e maka ana i ngā huringa maha o te ao ki a koe, ka ngaro tō hononga ki tētahi wāhanga o koe he parakore, he mata, he pono hoki.
He huarahi tā te ao whānui ki te tuku atu i ngā tāngata tika hei āwhina i a koe ki te kimi anō i aua wāhanga. Ahakoa he tangata aroha ki te ao whānui, he tangata rānei kei konei hei āwhina, ki te whakaae koe ki ā rātou akoranga, ā, ki te waimarie koe, ka kite koe i tētahi hononga ki a koe anō kāore i rite ki tētahi atu i mua.
Kua wareware a Rosette, he taiohi i ora mai i te tāwharau , ki tōna āhua o mua he tangata whai whakaaro nui, he tangata aroha korekore hoki. I roto i ana wā whakaora hinengaro ka hurahia e ia taua wāhanga o ia anō, ā, nā tēnā i mōhio ai ia, mō te wā tuatahi i roto i te wā roa, he nui atu ia i ngā mea i pā ki a ia.
5. Te hunga e whakamana ana i a koe
Tērā pea ka karanga koe i ēnei tāngata he hoa wairua o te ao tūroa o tētahi momo rerekē. Kāore pea rātou e tae mai ki tō ao hei hoa aroha, hei hoa aroha rānei, engari ka whakatūria e rātou he hononga kaha ki tō wairua. He tino kaha tō rātou whakapono ki a koe, ā, ka pā mai tō rātou whakapono ki a koe, ka meinga koe kia kaha ake, kia kaha ake hoki i mua.
Kāore e kore, ka whakamanahia koe e te hononga ao i waenganui i ngā hoa aroha, engari tera pea ko ēnei tāngata kua noho tonu hei wāhanga o tō oranga – mātua, tuākana, teina, kaiārahi, hoa – ka whai mana i te wā e tino hiahiatia ana e koe i te ao. Tērā pea ko rātou ngā tāngata ka tomo mai ki tō ao i te wā tika, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahaere i tō aituā.
E whakaaro ana a Susanne ko tana hoa o tōna tamarikitanga i ngaro atu i a ia te hononga mō ngā tau, he tino whakakatakata i roto i tōna ao. I hoki mai tana hoa, a Tara, ki roto i tōna ao i te wā e raru ana a Susanne i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tukino . Nā te tautoko me te whakatenatena a Tara, ka taea e Susanne te haere atu me te tīmata hou. E whakapono pūmau ana ia inaianei kāore ngā wairua e tūtaki noa.
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6. Te hunga e whakamamae ana i a koe
Te hoa taumau i whakarērea koe i te aata. Te hoa rangatira i moe ki tētahi hoa mahi, ā, i patu whakahere i ngā tau o te aroha me te whakahoahoa mō ngā wā poto o te harikoa hara. Te mātua i motuhia tō hononga. He tauira katoa ēnei o ngā hononga ao e whiti atu ana i a tātou ki te kapua iwa me tā rātou kupu whakaari mō te aroha me te ngākau aroha, ā, ka whana noa i a tātou i te taha i te wā kāore tātou e whakaaro.
Ka tino mamae tātou, ka whati ō tātou ngākau me ō tātou wairua, engari mā te pera, ka ako mai hoki i ētahi akoranga nui. Anō, ka taea te hanga i ēnei momo hononga ao maha atu i te kotahi, ā, ka waiho mai he akoranga rerekē ki a tātou i ia wā.
Heoi, ehara i te mea he pai ki te tuku i te tangata kia takahia koe nā te mea koinā te whakaaro o te ao whānui, ki te wawahi rānei i te ngākau o tētahi nā te mea he hononga ao whānui pea tōu ki te mamae. Kia maumahara ki te mahi i te tika mōu ake me ētahi atu.
Ahakoa rā, kaua e titiro whakamuri me te riri ina mahara koe ki ngā rā i tino mārama ai koe ki te tikanga o te mamae, i te wā pea i ngana ai koe ki te neke whakamua me te kore e mutu. He rite tonu te hononga o te ao whānui me te hononga o te hoa wairua, ā, tera pea kua whara koe i tō hoa wairua.
I taua wā, kāore pea koe e whakaaro nui ana ki te ao whānui, ki te āhua karma rānei o te ao katoa, engari kei te ngana noa koe ki te whakaoti i tētahi atu rā me te kore e pakaru. Engari i te mutunga o ngā mea katoa, ka mōhio koe ko aua wheako – ahakoa te āhua kawa – he wāhanga katoa o tā tātou haerenga.
Nō reira kaua e kanga tō waimarie mō ngā maharatanga kāore koe e titiro whakamuri ana me te aroha. Kiia he hononga ao porangi, akohia mai i aua mea katoa e taea ana e koe, ā, mutu ake.
7. Te hunga e whakaoho ana i a koe
Koinei pea ngā mea tino kaha o ngā momo hononga ao whānui, nā te mea ka whakararuraru i tō koiora, ka akiaki i a koe ki te arotake anō i ō whiringa. Tērā pea ka whai hononga whaiaro koe ki te hunga e whakaohooho ana i a koe, e whakakorikori ana i tō tirohanga ao, engari he roa, he hohonu hoki tō rātou pānga.
Ka whakamahara koe i a koe ki ō uara, ka whakatuwhera i ō kanohi ki te hē, ka akiaki i a koe ki te mahi i tāu wāhanga hei whakapai ake i te ao, ka ako noa rānei i a koe me pēhea te whakawhetai mō te taonga o te ora.
I kitea e Jennifer, he kaiwaiata 25-tau te pakeke, he uaua ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro mō te hē o te ao tōrangapū e karapoti ana i a ia, i te wehi kei pā kino te riri ki tōna rongonui me tōna tirohanga. Engari i te taenga mai o Jake, he kaiwhakatairanga pāpāho pāpori, ki roto i tōna ao, kāore ia i mōhio kei te haere mai he āwhā. I te mea he tangata e mataku ana ki te piripono , i te tuatahi i āwangawanga ia mō te tuku i a ia ki roto.
Engari nā te āwhina a ana akonga, ehara i te mea ko tōna rongonui anake i piki ake, engari i whakatenatenahia ia e ia kia kitea tōna reo me te karanga i te hē i kitea e ia. Ko te whakahē i tino wehingia e ia he iti noa iho i te whakataurite ki te whakaoranga i pā ki a ia. E whakapono ana ia he hononga ā-ao tō rāua ko Jake, ā, i tae mai ia ki roto i tōna ao hei whakaatu ki a ia ko te pono ki a koe anō te mea nui.
Tērā pea ka pāngia a Jake e te kaha o te rangi mai i a Jennifer, i te mea ko ia pea te tangata e whakaako ana i a ia, e whakaaweawe ana rānei i a ia.
8. Te hunga e wehe atu ana
Ahakoa kāore i te wā tika kia noho tonu rātou, ka tae mai ētahi tāngata ki roto i tō ao. Ahakoa te āhua nei he hunga aroha ki te ao tūroa, kei te mōhio tētahi wāhanga o koe – me rātou anō hoki – kāore i te wā tika kia pērā. I a rātou e noho tahi ana me koe, ka hurihia tō ao e rātou.
Tērā pea he aroha whakahihiri e whakarērea ai e koe ngā tūpato katoa, ka waiho koe kia kite ko koe anake hei aro atu ki ngā hua o ā kōrua mahi tahi. He whakaaturanga noa rānei o tētahi whanaungatanga paitini e pēhia ana koe, e piri ana ki te whenua tae noa ki te wā e kaha rawa ai te hiahia ki te wehe atu.
Koia koe i mōhio ai me tuku atu rātou. Ko ngā hononga ao kāore i te whakaarohia kia pumau, ka waiho mai i muri i a rātou he akoranga hou.
Kāore te hononga ā-ao i waenganui i ngā hoa aroha e tohu ana i tētahi hononga hauora. E mōhio ana koe i nāianei, he wāhanga noa iho pea o tō koiora te whakaako i a koe i ētahi akoranga nui i oma atu pea koe i reira.
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9. Te hunga e noho ana
Koinei ō hoa wairua o te ao tūroa e pupuri ana i a koe, e tautoko ana i a koe, e manaaki ana i a koe i ia taahiraa o te ara. Ko rātou te hunga hei hoa mōu i tō haerenga o te ao. Kei a rātou tō tuara i ia taahiraa o te ara, engari kaua e mangere ki te kī atu ki a koe ina hiahia koe ki te whakatika i tō ara.
Ahakoa pēhea, ka noho tonu rātou ki tō taha. Ka taea hoki te whakaaro ko ēnei hunga aroha ki ngā kōmeke he whakaaturanga o tō hononga māhanga-rua , ā, ki a rātou, ka rite koe ki te mea kua kitea e koe tō kāinga. Ko te hononga ao me te hononga hoa wairua he mea e whakaatu tonu ana ki a koe ka taea e koe te noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe.
Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te tikanga o te hononga ao, ā, ehara i te mea he tūpono noa iho ngā hononga katoa o tō ao , ko te tumanako ka nui ake tō aro ki ngā whanaungatanga ka puta mai ki a koe.
He take tō te hononga o ia ao – pai, kino rānei. Kāore e taea e koe te whawhai, te ārai rānei, nō reira tukua koe kia awhi i te wheako, kia manaakitia mēnā he pai, kia ako mai i a ia mēnā kāore. Mā te mōhio ki ngā hononga o te ao ka taea hoki e koe te iriti i ngā āhuatanga o te wairuatanga mā te haerenga whakaaroaro o te kimi i a koe anō, ā, mā reira ka āwhina i a koe ki te waihanga i te putanga pai rawa atu o tō wā i runga i te whenua.
Me pēhea te tuku i te mauahara me te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
