Me pēhea te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha me te kore e whakama, engari kia tika te kōrero

He kare ā-roto whakahihiri te whai i tētahi tangata e arohaina ana, engari ka puta mai he wehi nui. Ko te wehi kei whakakahoretia, kei mataku rānei i mua i a rātou, he nui hei waiho i a koe kia kore rawa e taea te mahi i taua taahiraa tuatahi. Ko te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha mō te wā tuatahi i roto i tēnei āhua hinengaro ka rite ki te pūtaiao tere. Koia mātou i hanga ai i tēnei rārangi tohutohu me ngā tinihanga mō te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha me te kore e whakamā i a koe anō.

Me pēhea te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha me te kore e whakama, engari kia tika te kōrero

Ahakoa ehara i te mea kino katoa te whakama (tērā pea he āhua ātaahua, he āhua ataahua rānei), tērā pea ka pana koe e ō io ki te ao o te whakama mamae, ka arahi atu ki tētahi āhuatanga ka noho araara koe i te pō mō ngā marama, mō ngā tau rānei kei te heke mai. I mua i tō whakakorekore i te tūpato, tirohia ēnei tohutohu mō te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha, kia kite ai mēnā ka whai hua ēnei mōu.

Engari i mua i tō nekehanga, he mea pai kia maumahara ki ētahi mea:

• Kaua e whakaaro nui rawa. He huarahi tino tika tēnei ki te mataku i te tāone.
• Whakaritea ētahi kaupapa hei karo i ngā wā whakamā
• Whakapaipai i a koe anō. Kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te takaro ki tētahi e āhua ana kua ara ake i te moenga! Ina hoki, rangahau kua whakaatuhia ehara i te mea he pai noa iho tēnei mō tō whakaaro tuatahi 'ā-kanohi', engari he pānga pai anō hoki ki tō wairua, ka kitea e tō hoa aroha

Hei tāpiri, ko ngā meneti tuatahi e noho tahi ana koe me tō hoa aroha ka whakatau pea, ka whakakore rānei i ō tupono ki te ahu whakamua me rātou. Kua kitea e ngā kairangahau e 95% o te tangata e whakapono ana he mea nui ngā whakaaro tuatahi. Ko te tikanga o tēnei, he tino tūpono ka whakatau tō hoa aroha mōu i runga i tō whakaaro tuatahi.

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Me pēhea te kōrero ki tō ipo mā te karere kuputuhi

He huarahi pai te tuku karere kuputuhi hei tīmata kōrero ki tō hoa aroha, nā te mea ka tiakina koe i ngā pānga kino o te hē. Ahakoa... kuputuhi, ko te tīmata i tētahi kōrero e tino hiahia ana koe ki te uru atu, tera pea ka rite ki tētahi pakanga uaua.

Ko tā tātou tikanga he tīmata noa me te "Kia ora..." me te "Kei te pēhea koe?" Engari he huakore tēnei nā te mea kāore e hoatu he hihiri ki tō hoa aroha ki te whakautu. He tino noa, he koretake hoki, ā, e whakaatu ana i te kore aro mai i a koe. Ki te hiahia koe ki te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha i runga i te Whatsapp, ngana ki ētahi o ēnei whakaaro hei tiaki i a koe kei waiho kia pānuihia:

• Pātaihia he pātai ārahi: He pātai ka hiahia rātou ki te whakautu. Hei tauira, ki te mea he rite tō hiahia ki tētahi mahi puoro, ka taea e koe te pātai atu mēnā kua rongo rātou i tā rātou waiata hou. Ki te mea he rite ō koutou hiahia ki te kai, ka taea e koe te pātai atu mēnā kua whakamātauria e rātou tētahi wharekai. He pai hoki te huarahi whakamutunga ki te whai i tētahi atu huarahi. te tono atu i a rātou ki te haere tahi me te rā
• Whakahuatia tētahi taunekeneke o mua: Mena kua taunekeneke kē koe me tō hoa aroha, he huarahi pai ki te tīmata kōrerorero kuputuhi ki a ia ko te whakahua i tētahi mea kua kōrerohia kētia e kōrua. Hei tauira, ki te tūtohu mai rātou i tētahi kiriata, ka taea e koe te kī atu pēnei, "Hei, he aha te kiriata i kōrerotia mai e koe i tētahi atu rā?"
• Tāpirihia he mihi ki tō tuhinga matua: Kāore e rahua te mihi pono nā te mea he mana tōna ki te whakaharikoa i te rā o tētahi. He wikitoria rua te whakaharikoa i tō hoa aroha, ME te mea kia whakautu mai rātou. Ka taea e koe te kī pēnei, "I rongo noa ahau i te katakata tino rorirori, ā, i mahara ahau ki a koe!" Ka mahi tēnei kōrero mā te mihi ki a rātou mō ō rātou wairua whakakatakata, me te whakaoho i te hiahia mō te katakata. Kāore he take ki te kī, kia rite ki te katakata pai!
• Tohua he hiahia ōrite: Ki te mōhio koe he pai ki a rātou tētahi mea e pai ana ki a koe, ka taea e koe te tīmata kōrero mā te tohu i tēnei. Hei tauira, ki te pai koe ki te haere ki ngā kōnohete, ka taea e koe te kī atu, "Āe, e pai ana koe ki tēnei kaitoi? He whakaaturanga tā rātou i tēnei wiki mutunga, me haere rawa tātou!"
• Kaua e tere rawa te whakautu ki ā rātou karere kuputuhi: Ahakoa he āhua rerekē tēnei – ko te whakaaro kia mōhio tō hoa aroha kei te hiahia koe – ko te mea pono ko te tuku karere kuputuhi tonu ka kitea he hiahia nui. Kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau he pai ake pea te waiho i tētahi karere kuputuhi mai i tō hoa aroha kia noho mō tētahi wā i mua i tō whakautu.

Me pēhea te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha i te aroaro o te marea

He rerekē rawa te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha mō te wā tuatahi, inā koa i te wāhi tūmatanui. Nā te pikinga ake o ngā pāpāho pāpori me ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, kua nui rawa atu tō tātou whakawhirinaki ki te haumaru o te tuku karere kuputuhi. Nō reira, ahakoa he uaua tonu te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha, he nui ake te uaua i nāianei. Anei ētahi tohutohu mō te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha i te aroaro o te iwi:

• Tīmatahia me tētahi mea e tika ana mō te āhuatanga: Ki te tū koe i te rārangi i tētahi whare kawhe, ā, ka pātai atu koe ki tō hoa aroha mō āna waiata, kiriata rānei e tino pai ana ki a rātou, tera pea ka pōuri rātou. Nā te mea kāore he take. He pai ake kamata korero he rite ki te kī, "He pai te kaputino i konei? Kāore anō kia whakamātauria e au i konei i mua." He pono ka puta he whakautu, ā, ka huaki te tūponotanga o tētahi kōrero māeneene
• Kaua e kōrero ki ngā kupu whakahihiri: Ahakoa he kōrero whakahihiri noa iho ngā meme me ngā rom-com, he onge te whai hua o ēnei kōrero i te ao tūturu. Ahakoa kāore e whakamā ai tō hoa aroha, tera pea ka kata noa iho rātou i mua i te haere tonu i tā rātou mahi o te rā. Ki te kore e taea e koe te whakaaro ki tētahi kupu whakataki pai, karohia te whakamahi i tētahi kupu whakahihiri. Hei huarahi whakamutunga, he nui te "Kia ora" noa iho i roto i te kōrero kanohi ki te kanohi.
• Kaua e noho pōturi: Ka tupu pea tēnei i ētahi wā ina kei te whakapakari koe i te maia ki te kōrero ki tō hoa arohaEngari ko te mutunga iho, ka puta mai tō āhua whakamataku, ā, kei te hiahia tō hoa aroha kia tawhiti rawa atu i a koe. Nō reira, kia tino whakatata atu koe ki tōna wāhi whaiaro ina tino rite koe ki te tīmata kōrero.
• Kōrero ki ētahi atu tāngata i te tuatahi: Ki te mea kei te pāti koe i te kāinga, ka taea e koe te kōrero ki ētahi atu tāngata e tata ana ki tō hoa aroha i mua i tō nekehanga. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i te karo i te āhuatanga o runga ake nei. Mā te kōrero ki ētahi atu tāngata ka mahana koe, ā, ka kitea koe he tangata whakahoahoa, he tangata e pai ana ki tō hoa aroha. Ki te mea kei te taha o ō rātou hoa rātou, ka taea e koe te tīmata kōrero ki a rātou, ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka uru mai tō hoa aroha ki roto.
• Kia whakapuaki whakaaro: rangahau kua whakaatuhia e te rangahau he pai ake te aro o te tangata ki a koe ina whakapuaki koe i a koe anō mā te kore kōrero i a koe e kōrero ana. Kei roto i tēnei ko ngā āhua o te kanohi me ngā nekehanga ringa. Nō reira kaua e wehi ki te noho hihiri ina kōrero koe ki tō hoa aroha. Tērā pea ka waiho e koe he whakaaro pumau ki a rātou mēnā ka pērā koe.

Me pēhea te tīmata i tētahi kōrerorero ki tō hoa aroha i te kanohi ki te kanohi

Ina kōrero tahi koe me tō hoa aroha, he mahi nui te whiriwhiri i ngā kupu tika. Anei tā mātou e taunaki ana:

• Whakaharatau tuatahi me te hoa
• Whakatūria he ture kia whakautua noa ō pātai e tō hoa, kaua hoki e pātai atu anō. Mā tēnei ka noho mataara tonu koe, ā, ka āwhina hoki ki te whakapakari i ō pūkenga kōrero.
• Ko te mea tino uaua pea ki te whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga ko te whakaaro he whakahe mai tētahi atu. He mahi pai kia maumahara koe kāore tetahi e whakahe ana i a koe, mena kei te whakaute koe i tō huarahi.
• Nō reira, wātea, kia noho ko koe anō, ā, me tango te whakakorenga aroha hei wheako ako, kaua hei whakahē i tō tuakiri.

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Me pēhea te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha i runga waea

I tēnei ao o te tuku karere kuputuhi me ngā karere whaiaro, kua tata kore ngā waeatanga waea. He tokomaha o tātou e pai ake ana ki te tuku karere kuputuhi i te waeatanga nā te mea he iti ake te ahotea i ngā wāhanga tuatahi ina ngana ana kōrua ki te hanga whakaaro pai. Engari i tētahi wā, me hono kōrua i te waeatanga. Ā, ina tupu tēnā, ka taea e ētahi te whakaoho i te manukanuka.

Nā, me pēhea koe e puta ai hei he kōrero aroha i runga waea ki tō hoa aroha? Anei ētahi mahi ka taea e koe te whai:

• Ko te mea tuatahi me te mea nui rawa atu hei mahi i mua i te tango i te waea ko te whakamarie i ō io i te mea ka taea.
• Ki te mea ko koe te tangata e waea mai ana, he rawe tēnā! Ka taea e koe te whai wā, te mahi i te manawa hōhonu, te mahi rānei i te mahi whakaaroaro, kātahi ka waea atu.
• Ki te mea kei te waea mai koe, kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakautu tonu. Taria mō tētahi hēkona, kia rua rānei, kia manawa, kia whakamarietia ō āwangawanga, kātahi ka whakautua te waea.
• Ki te mea he uaua ki a koe te arotahi wawe i a koe, ka taea e koe te tuku kia tangi, ka waea atu anō i muri mai me te kī noa "Aroha mai, i ngaro tāu waea mai. I raru ahau i tētahi mea."
• I te waea, he huarahi pai te pātai noa "Kia ora, kei te pēhea koe?" hei tīmatanga kōrero
• Ki te mea kei te kōrero koe i te waea, ko te tikanga kua kōrero kē koe i tētahi atu wāhi, nō reira kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi kōrero maumahara hei 'whakaoho i a rātou'.
• Heoi anō, ka taea e koe te whakamahi i tētahi rārangi kotahi, i tētahi rānei rārangi kohi kākāriki he mea whakakatakata engari me tino mārama kei te kuware koe
• Kia tīmata te kōrero, kia noho ko koe anake. Kōrerohia ngā mea e pārekareka ana ki a koe, pātaihia ngā pātai kāore e whakararuraru, me te whakapuaki i ētahi kōrero whaiaro e tika ana mō tō koiora.
• Kia tino taurite te kōrero me te whakarongo
• Ā, kia oti, ngana ki te whakamutu i te kōrero i runga i te harikoa (arā, kaua e whakamutu i te kōrero me te amuamu mō te āhua o te ao)

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Me pēhea te tīmata i tētahi kōrerorero ki tō hoa aroha i runga i te Instagram

Ko te huarahi māmā pea ki te tīmata kōrero ki tō hoa aroha i runga i te Instagram ko te whakautu ki tētahi o ā rātou kōrero. Ki te kore e tika te kōrero i tētahi mea tūturu, mā tēnei ka taea e koe te whakatuwhera i tētahi ara whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mā te whakamahi i tētahi urupare emoji māmā. Ka kōrero atu ki a rātou tētahi mea mōu i runga i te kōrero i whakapuakina e rātou.

Mai i konei, ka taea e koe te whakamahi i ngā huarahi tika ake pēnei i te tuku atu i a rātou ngā tuhinga rorirori me ngā meme e ai ki ō rātou hiahia, e pai ana ki ā rātou whakaahua, e tuku karere rānei ki a rātou. Kia māmā noa iho te tīmatanga, ā, whakamahia ngā kaupapa kua whakahuatia i runga ake nei kia pai ai te kōrero.

Engari kia tūpato ki tēnei huarahi nā te mea he ngāwari te kitea he whakamataku i runga i a Instagram. He maha ngā tāngata whakamataku tūturu i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, nō reira he uaua ki tō hoa aroha te wehewehe i waenga i a rātou me te mihi pono. Ka taea e koe te whakaatu i a koe anō, te kōrero i tētahi mea pai mō ā rātou ihirangi, me te pātai atu mēnā ka taea e koe te whai i a rātou mēnā he pūkete tūmataiti.

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Ngā tohutohu hei kōrero ki tō hoa aroha

Ko te huarahi pai ki te whakakore i tō manukanuka mō te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha – ko te kōrero ki a ia! Ina tīmata te kōrero, ā, ina rere te rere, ka mariri ō manukanuka, ā, ka noho ko koe anake i roto i te kōrero ki tētahi atu tangata.

Ahakoa rā, kāore he kino o te noho rite. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te tīmata kōrero ki tō hoa aroha, kātahi ka tūpato noa iho i raro i ngā rama o mua. Ahakoa he pai koe ki te tawai ki te kore rānei, he mea pai tonu kia rite mai ngā kaupapa maha hei ārai i te maroke haere o te kōrero ki te wā pōuri. Anei ētahi whakaaro mō te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha:

• Ahurea rongonui: He kaupapa tino pai te puoro, ngā kiriata, me ngā whakaaturanga pouaka whakaata hei tīmata kōrero ki tō hoa aroha. "I mātakitaki koe i te wāhanga hou o Euphoria?" "Kua mātakitaki koe i te ataata hou o Imagine Dragons?" "I mātakitaki koe i te kiriata hou a Dakota Johnson?"
• Kai: He kai reka te katoa. Nō reira, kāore e hē te kōrero mō te kai. He kaupapa haumaru tēnei nā te mea kāore he tūponotanga o te pātai i tētahi mea whaiaro rawa, i tētahi mea whakahihiri rānei. Ā, ko te painga, ka taea e koe te maumahara ki tāna kai tino pai, ā, ka ohorere ia i te heke mai!
• Haereere: He pai ki te nuinga o te tangata te haereere. He huarahi pai te whakapuaki i ngā kōrero haereere hei pupuri i te kōrero. Ahakoa kāore koe i haereere pinepine, ka taea tonu e koe te kōrero mō ngā wāhi i moemoeā tonu koe kia toro atu. Ka taea hoki tēnei te whakamahi hei tohutohu mō ngā whakaaro whakaipoipo ā muri ake nei.
• Ngā uara ōrite: He huarahi pai tēnei ki te whakawhiti kōrero hohonu ki tō hoa aroha. Mā ngā tirohanga tōrangapū ōrite, he kaupapa pāpori ōrite, he tirohanga ao ōrite rānei ka taea te whakakotahi i te tangata. Kia māmā noa iho mēnā kāore kōrua e whakaae ki tētahi kaupapa rongonui!

Ngā tohutohu hei kōrero ki tō hoa aroha

Ina kōrero koe ki tō hoa aroha, ko te mea pai ko te noho ko koe tonu. He pai hoki te mahi, nā te mea ki te pai tō kōrua whakaaro, e hiahia ana koe kia mōhio ia ko wai koe i te tīmatanga, tika? Anei ētahi atu tohutohu:

• Ki te wehi koe kei puta mai koe he rawakore, okioki mārie, nā te mea rangahau kua whakaatuhia e te tini o ngā tāne he mea whakamīharo ina mahi te wahine i te nekehanga tuatahi – ina koa ka mōhio ia e pai ana koe ki a ia
• Kia tino mōhio koe kei te hiahia ia ki te kōrero ki a koe. Mā te titiro noa ki a ia me te titiro tika ki ōna kanohi, ka tere te kitea o ēnei kōrero. Ki te titiro anō ia ki a koe i ētahi wā, ko te tikanga kei te hiahia ia ki te kōrero.
• He huarahi pai te ataata mahana, marino hoki hei tīmatanga kōrero. He tohu whakaipoipo tēnei ka mahana ake ai tō hoa tāne ki a koe, ā, ka pai te kōrero.
• Ki te wehi koe kei te āhua koe me te mea kei te akiaki koe i te ataata, ngana ki te okioki me te whakaaro ki tetahi mea e hari ai koe.
• Haunga tēnei, ko ngā tīmatanga kōrero kua whakahuatia ake nei ka whai hua ki te tāne e pai ana koe. Kāore i te tino rerekē te tāne i te wahine.
• Ki te pono tāu kōrero, tera pea ka pono anō hoki tana whakautu ina mōhio ia e pai ana koe ki a ia; ā, ka taea e koe te whai i te ia o te kōrero mai i reira.

I te mutunga iho, tera pea kei te whakanui ake koe i tēnei mea i tōna āhua tūturu. He mea tēnei e mahia ana e tātou katoa nā te mea he tangata tātou. Engari kāore koe e hiahia kia tukua ō āwangawanga kia whakakino i tētahi mea pai, ahakoa kei te kōrero koe ki tō hoa aroha i runga i te Whatsapp, i te kanohi rānei. Whakamahia ēnei tohutohu mō te kōrero ki tō hoa aroha, kia puta ai koe ki waho!

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.