Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe – 9 ngā taahiraa hei whai

Ka rite te mamae o te ngākau ki te mea kua pāngia koe e te pōro whakangaro. Ka tōia koe ki roto i tētahi whare herehere kī tonu i ngā kare ā-roto kino i a koe e rapu ana i te huarahi hei whakakore i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe. Koinei te hua o te aroha nui rawa atu ki tētahi. He ahua kore tika tonu, engari kia mōhio koe he take ngā mea katoa e tupu ana i te ao.

Ngāna kia titiro pēnei. He whai wāhitanga te mamae o te ngākau ki te whakawhanake i a koe anō, me te hanga i a koe hei tangata pai ake, kaha ake i mua. I roto i tēnei tukanga, ka pātai pea koe ki a koe anō me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, me ngā wāhanga rānei o te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. Ahakoa te āhua nei kāore he whakautu ngāwari ki te wareware i tētahi e pupuri tonu ana i tō ngākau, ka taea tonu te mahi.

Ma te awhina o Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaunihera wehenga me te whakarere, me wehewehe tātou i tēnei tukanga o te wareware atu ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. Ina aroha tonu koe ki a rātou, ā, kāore rātou e aroha mai ana ki a koe, ka rite ki te mea kei te hinga te ao ki a koe. Engari mā ēnei tohutohu me ngā tinihanga, me whakangawari ake i tēnei haerenga.

Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe

Nō reira, i mutu tata nei tō whanaungatanga roa, i puta atu rānei koe i te mea i whakaarohia hei whanaungatanga noa, ko koe anake i mau i ngā kare ā-roto pono mō te tangata kē. Ahakoa pēhea te āhua, ki te mea kei te aroha tonu koe ki te tangata i wehe atu koe, me tīmata koe ki te rapu huarahi hei wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe engari kāore ia e whai wāhi ana ki tō ao.

Ahakoa kua roa te wā e ngaro atu ai te whanaungatanga, ko rātou tonu tō whakaaro tuatahi i te ata, ā, ko rātou tonu tō whakaaro whakamutunga i te pō. Kei te hiahia nui tetahi wāhanga o koe ki te kimi huarahi hei whakamutu i te whakaaro ki a rātou. Ahakoa kāore pea koe e wareware ki te tangata e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, ka taea tonu te neke atu i te mamae me te hiahia nui. Ina tupu tēnā, ka taea e koe te pupuri i ō rātou maharatanga me te kore e whakamamae i a koe anō.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Hurihanga o taku Ngākau Pakaru i a Au hei Tangata

Ko te nui ake o tō piripono ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ko te nui ake o te mamae o te ngaronga o te tangata. Hei tauira, ki te mea i roto i tō hinengaro i tino whakapono koe ka mutu kōrua ko tō hoa o mua, tera pea ka ngaro koe i te mōhio me pēhea te tīmata i te tukanga o te wareware ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe engari kāore e taea te noho tahi. Nā, me pēhea te wareware ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe engari kāore i roto i tō ao?

Me whai rautaki koe hei whakaae tuatahi kua ngaro tetahi i whakaaro koe ko ia te aroha o tōu ao. Kātahi ka whakaae ki te meka kāore e taea e koe te hoki ki te whanaungatanga kotahi nā te mea he ara kore noa iho tēnā. Ā, hei whakamutunga, me ako koe ki te tuku i te mamae, ko te tukanga e tīmata ana mā te te ūkui i ō rātou maharatanga.

Hatia E mea ana, "He tino uaua te muku i ngā maharatanga o tētahi nā te mea ka kaha tātau ki te wareware i tētahi. Hei mahi i tēnā, ka mutu ka nui rawa atu tātau whakaaro mō taua tangata anō i roto i te hinengaro. Kātahi ka noho tonu te hinengaro o te tangata ki te whakaaro he aha rātou kāore e taea ai te wareware i a ia. Mā te neke i tō aro ki ētahi atu mea, kaua ki te ngana nui ki te kore e whakaaro ki a rātou, tera pea ka āwhina i a koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. Me haere tonu i roto i te ao, me noho pukumahi ki ō mahi o ia rā, me te pupuri i a koe anō kia pukumahi. Mā tēnei ka māmā ake te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe."

Ahakoa te whai hua o tēnā, kāore e mutu noa i konei te tukanga mō te wareware i tētahi i a kōrua e aroha tonu ana. Anei ngā mahi e iwa hei āwhina i a koe ki te kimi huarahi i waho o te raruraru nui mō te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe:

Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

1. Pōuri engari whakaae hoki ko tō hītori ēnei

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wareware i tētahi kua wehe atu i a koe. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wareware i tētahi tangata e tino arohaina ana e koe. He mamae te wehenga atu, kātahi ka wareware atu ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe engari kāore e taea te noho tahi. Ka rite ki te werohia e te maripi kotahi rau i ia rā ki tō ngākau. Engari ka tae mai te rangimārie mā te whakaae ki ngā mea kua tupu me tēnei ara hou e haere nei tō ao.

• Te whakaae: Whakaaetia kua ngaro rātou i a koe, me whai wā ki te pouri, engari me maka atu ō mahere katoa ki te inoi, ki te inoi rānei ki a rātou kia houhia te rongo. E mōhio ana koe i roto i tō ngākau he koretake noa iho. Ko te whakaae tētahi o ngā wāhanga tino nui o te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe.
• Pōuri: Ko te pouri te wāhanga tuatahi o te wehenga, engari ko te whakaae ka roa pea ngā tau. Tukua koe kia rongo i te nui o tō mamae me tō pouri, ahakoa he nui rawa te mamae. Ki te huna e koe ēnei kare ā-roto ināianei, e kore rawa koe e taea te wikitoria, e kore rānei e wareware ki te tangata e arohaina nuitia ana e koe.
• Whakamātauria koe i roto i te uaua: Te whakaora i muri i te wehenga he tukanga kua wehea kia maha ngā wāhanga – te ohorere me te whakakorekore, te mamae me te hara, te riri me te whiriwhiri, te pouri, te whakaae me te tumanako. Me haere koe i roto i tēnei uauatanga kia taea ai e koe te wareware i tētahi kōtiro e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, te wareware rānei i tētahi tāne e pupuri tonu ana i ōu ngākau.
• Tukua: Engari, ko te tere o tō whakaae ki te meka kāore e taea te tōia ngā mea o mua ki roto i te ao o nāianei, ka tata atu koe ki te taahiraa tuatahi o te tuku i aua mea. Mā te tuku i ngā mea ka āwhina i a koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe.
• Kaua e tae ki te pito o te pouri: Kaua rawa e tukua tō pouri kia tae ki te pito o te pouri. Ki te whakaaro koe kei te tata koe ki te āhua pouri, he mea whakaaro nui kia whakaarohia he tohutohu, he rongoā rānei hei whakatau i taua mea. He uaua ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, engari ka taea e koe te whakahaere i taua mea i te mutunga.

2. Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe – Whakarērea rawatia ngā pāpāho pāpori

He nui ngā kōrero a te pāpāho pāpori mō te tangata. He rite tonu ki te putanga mariko o tātou anō. He tokomaha e whakamahi ana hei whakaatu i ō rātou oranga e tū mai nei, he tokomaha hoki e whakamahi ana hei tuhi noa i ngā mea iti e mahia ana e rātou. Mena he kaha tō hoa o mua ki te pāpāho pāpori, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te whai i ā rātou kōtaha me te tirotiro i ā rātou mahi. I muri i te wehenga, he mea nui kia tapahia te hononga a tō hoa o mua ki ngā pāpāho pāpori mena kei te pirangi koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, me te kite i ia rā, i ia rā. Ko te tapahi i ngā pāpāho pāpori tētahi huarahi ka taea e koe te neke atu i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe.

• Kaua e whai i tō hoa o mua: Ki te whai tonu koe i tō hoa o mua, ā, ka kite koe i āna whakaahua e whakaatu ana kei te pai ia, kei te harikoa hoki i muri i te wehenga, ka whakamamae noa koe i a koe anō me ngā pātai kāore pea e whakautua. Ki te hiahia koe ki te wareware i tētahi kua neke atu, kati te whai i tā rātou hoa hou.
• Kaua e oma i muri i te katinga: Tērā pea ka hiahia koe ki te rapu whakautu mai i a rātou. Nō reira, mā te kore e kite i a rātou i ia rā, mā te kore rānei e mōhio ki ngā mea e pā ana ki tō rātou ao, ka āwhina pea tēnei ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, ā, ka neke whakamua koe i tētahi ara pai ake. Ka taea e koe te wareware i tētahi kōtiro e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, te neke atu rānei i tētahi tāne kei a ia tonu tētahi wāhi motuhake i roto i tō ngākau.
• Taria i mua i te noho hei hoa: Ko te whakaaro o te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua He rite tonu ki te whakaaro tino pai hei pupuri i a rāua i roto i tō kōrua ao ahakoa kāore kōrua e noho tahi ana. Ae, he tino tinihanga rawa atu. Engari i muri tonu i te wehenga, kāore tēnei whakaaro i te pai. Kei te hou tonu ngā patunga, kei reira tonu ngā kare ā-roto e toe ana, ā, ka mamae kōrua i ō kōrua ake ara. Ka taea e tēnei āhua hinengaro te whakapoauau, te uaua, me te paitini i tō hononga ki tō hoa o mua. Ka taea e koe te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, ā, ka noho tonu hei hoa, engari me tatari mō tētahi wā.
• Tapahia atu: He uaua te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. Nō reira, ki te tika, me tango atu rātou i tō ao. Mā tō rātou aroaro ka nui ake te raruraru ki tō ao. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe kāore te kitenga i tō hoa o mua e pā ki a koe, engari i ngā wā katoa ka kite koe, ka rongo rānei koe i ō rātou oranga, ka rere mai ō kare ā-roto, ka tere mai ngā maharatanga. Nō reira, tiakina koe i ēnei mea katoa, ā, me wehe atu i a rātou i ngā huarahi whakawhitiwhiti kōrero katoa. Ko te huarahi pai ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe ko te kore e mōhio ki a rātou. Koinei te whakautu māmā ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe. Ka tae mai te wā ka roa koe i ngā rā, i ngā wiki, ā, i muri iho i ngā marama, me te kore e whakaaro ki a rātou.

E kī ana a Shazia, "He tino āwhina te whakarērea o ngā pāpāho pāpori ki te wareware i tētahi. Ko te ngaro atu i te tirohanga, ko te ngaro atu i te hinengaro, he huarahi pai ki te whakatau i te tukanga me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, engari kāore e aroha mai ki a koe. Ki te kore koe e kite i ā rātou whakaahua, i ā rātou pou me ngā kaupapa o te ao, ka māmā ake te wareware i a rātou, ka arotahi ki tētahi atu mea."

Te pānui e pā ana: E 10 ngā huarahi e whakaarohia ana e te tohunga whanaungatanga hei whakakore i te taumau

3. Kaua e pupuri i ā rātou taonga ki tō taha, ka mau noa koe i roto i ngā rā o mua

Ko tētahi atu tohutohu hei whakakore i te aroha ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe ko te whakarērea i āna koha me āna taonga. Ina noho tahi tātou i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, he maha ngā mea, ngā maharatanga rānei e whakawhitiwhitihia ana e tātou tetahi ki tetahi. Ka puritia e tātou ngā taonga a tetahi ki tetahi: pērā i te kapu kawhe, he tī koha, ētahi koti, me ētahi atu. He pai ki ngā kōtiro te tahae i ngā hūti o tā rātou hoa tāne, ā, he maha ngā wā ka whakakiia ngā whare o ngā tāne ki ngā tōkena, ngā tī me ērā atu mea a te hoa wahine.

Ki te hiahia koe ki te wareware i tētahi i pā ki a koe tu kotahi po Ki te mea he hoa rangatira koe, he hoa rangatira rānei i roto i tētahi hononga noa iho, me tango e koe ngā whakamaharatanga katoa o tō whanaungatanga ki a rātou i tō ao. Ko te tikanga tēnei me muku ngā whakaahua mai i tō waea, me tākai me te huna i ngā taonga whakamaharatanga katoa mō te whanaungatanga, me maka atu ā rātou taonga mai i tō kāinga. I roto i te poto, kia neke atu ai koe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, me tango atu e koe ngā mea katoa e whakamahara ana i a koe ki a rātou.

• Ko te tikanga o te neke atu ko te tuku: I muri i te wehenga, ki te mea kei te karapotia tonu koe e ngā mea e pā ana ki tō whanaungatanga o mua, ka noho tonu koe i roto i ngā porowhita. E kore rawa koe e puta katoa i te whanaungatanga, ā, e kore koe e ora wawe i tō wehenga.
• Whakakorea ngā taonga whakamaumahara mō te whanaungatanga: I hoatu e rātou he kapu kawhe ki a koe i ngā rā o mua, ā, mai i taua wā kei te inu kawhe koe i roto i taua kapu. Kati te inu kawhe i roto i taua kapu, nā te mea i ia ata ka maumahara koe ki a rātou. Me pēhea rā e wareware ai koe i a rātou?
• Kaua e whakaaro ki a rātou: He māmā noa te whakahē i te kī i ngā mea katoa e karapoti ana i a koe, ka maumahara ngā wāhi katoa ki a kōrua, ā, i ngā wā katoa ka kite koe i aua mea, ka toro atu rānei koe ki aua wāhi, ka maumahara tonu koe ki aua mea. Engari he mea nui te tīmata ki te karo i ēnei mea me ēnei wāhi. Nō reira, kaua e whakaaro ki aua mea ina toro atu koe ki te wharekai i haere tuatahi ai kōrua, engari me huri tō arotahi ina mau koe i te kākahu i arohaina e rāua.

A Reddit kaiwhakamahi I mea ia, "Ka rongoatia e te wā ngā patunga tawhito, engari me whakaae koe kia kaua e whakatuwhera anō i te patunga. Mukua ngā whakaahua, ngā karere, me ērā atu. Parahia ngā koha, ngā taonga whakamaumahara, ngā taonga whakamaharatanga. Tangohia te hoa i runga i a Pukamata, mukua te nama waea. He tino mamae te tangata, pērā i te porangi. Engari i ia rā ka iti ake tō whakaaro ki taua tangata. Kia tae rā anō ki tētahi rā ka mahara koe ki a ia, ā, kāore e pōuri tō puku."

4. Kaua e whakapā atu kia wareware ai koe ki tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, kia kite ai koe i ia rā, i ia rā

He roa te hononga a Lisa rāua ko Andrew, ā, he nui te aroha tetahi ki tetahi. Koinā te whakaaro o Lisa tae noa ki tōna kitenga atu i a ia e awhi ana, e moe ana me tana hoa o mua, e takoto kau ana. I puta puku atu ia i te whare, ka haere ki te whare o tana hoa mō tētahi wā. I taua rā tonu, i whakarerekē ia i tana nama waea, i aukati i a ia i runga i ngā papaaho pāpāho pāpori katoa, ā, i tono kia wātea mai i te mahi hei tango wā hararei me te noho tahi me ia anō.

I te wehenga atu o Andrew ki te mahi i taua rā anō, ka haere ia ki te whare noho, ka tango i ana mea, ka pupuri i ana mea ki roto i te rūma rokiroki, ka tākai i tētahi peke, ā, ka wehe atu mō te haerenga kotahi marama te roa. "Nā te mea he mahi pumau, he utu pai taku i tino māmā ake ai, engari ko te tango atu i a ia pērā tonu te mea uaua rawa atu i mahia e au. Engari koinei te utu me utu e koe i ētahi wā kia mau tonu ai tō hinengaro. Kāore e taea te ngana ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, me te noho hoa tonu ki a ia," tana kī.

Engari i mōhio anō ia me mahi tēnei mea, nā te mea kāore he kupu, he mahi rānei a Andrew e taea ai tēnei te whakapai ake. Nā te tawhiti me tōna ngaro katoa i homai he tirohanga whānui, he māramatanga me te hiahia kia neke atu ia.

Ki te mea kei te raru koe me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, kia mōhio koe ko te piri ki he ture matua te kore whakapā atu Me whai tonu koe kia tau te rangimārie ki tō hinengaro kua wehe kōrua, ā, kāore e taea e kōrua te whakapā atu. Nā te mea kāore he painga nui ki a koe te keri i ngā kōrero o mua. Koinei te huarahi pai ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, me te kite i ia rā, i ia rā.

• Kaua e pātai ki ō hoa mō tō hoa o mua: Tērā pea he hoa ōu e taea ai te tuku kōrero ki a koe mō te hunga e noho tahi ana tō hoa o mua i ēnei rā. Tērā pea ka kōrero noa mai tētahi mō te kitenga i tō hoa o mua me tētahi atu i tētahi wāhi. Ka pā kino tonu tēnei ki ō ahunga whakamua, ā, ka hoki anō koe ki te tīmatanga.
• Kaua e kōrero kino: Ki te hiahia koe kia mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, me kī atu "kāo" ki ēnei kōrero pakiwaitara katoa. Ka taea e tō hoa o mua te noho rangimārie, te harikoa hoki; nō reira kaua e riri ki a ia mō te noho i tōna ao me te kimi i te harikoa. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohutohu hei maumahara māu ina wareware ana koe ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe.
• Whakamahia te mana o te wahangu: Kaua e whakapā atu ki tō hoa o mua, kaua hoki e rapu i tōna wāhi. Koinei te huarahi pai ki te wareware i tētahi. Whakamahia te te mana o te wahangu i muri i te wehenga ki te whakaora i a koe anō, me te pupuri i tō whakatau kia noho tawhiti atu i tō hoa o mua, ahakoa kei te ngana kaha rātou ki te kimi huarahi hoki ki roto i tō ao

Tērā pea he aroha nui tō kōrua i te tari, i tētahi atu āhuatanga rānei, me kite tonu kōrua i a rāua i ngā wā katoa. Ka tino mamae tēnei ina haere koe ki te mahi, ka kite i a ia e takoto ana i te taha o te tēpu o Patricia, kāore i te taha o tāu. Ahakoa te uaua, kia ara ake tō kauae, kaua e manaaki i a ia. Ka mārama ia ki te tohu, ā, ka noho ki waho o tō ara. Ki te mea kei te rapu huarahi koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, me te kite i ia rā, i ia rā, koinei tētahi tohutohu me tāpiri atu e koe ki tō rārangi.

5. Whakawhanaunga atu ki ō hoa

Ina kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ahakoa harikoa, ahakoa pirinoa, kāore he aha, ko te nuinga o te wā e pau ana ki tō hoa. Kāore koe e āta mahi i tēnā, engari ka paku mahue ō hoa, ka ngaro rānei i tō rārangi kaupapa matua. E mahara ana a Ziba ki te ngaronga o te maha o ngā mahere a tana tira kōtiro i a ia e noho tahi ana. "Kāore ēnei wāhine whakamiharo e waimarie ana ahau ki te kī he hoa, i whakahē mai ki ahau. I te wā i pakaru ai, i mura ai taua whanaungatanga, i noho tonu rātou i tōku taha i roto i ngā mea katoa."

"Mai i te awhi i ahau i a au e tangi ana ki te whakarite kia kaua ahau e tīmata ki te tuku karere haurangi, ki te waea atu rānei ki a ia me te tohe kia puta ahau i te whare ki te ngahau, he mea nui rātou ki te āwhina i ahau kia wareware ki te tangata i arohaina nuitia e au," tana kī. Ko te whakawhirinaki ki ō hoa mō te tautoko tetahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te wareware ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, me te tīmata i te tukanga whakaora. Engari kaua e haere ki te whare o tō hoa pai me te pounamu waina, ka tīmata tonu te kōrero mō tō hoa o mua. He tino ngāwari te ngaro o te mana whakahaere, ka kite i a koe anō i roto i te puna roimata i a koe e aroha tonu ana ki a rātou.

E kī ana a Shazia, "Mā te kōrero mō tō hoa o mua ki ō hoa, ki tō whānau, ki a koe anō rānei, ka uaua ake te wareware i a rātou. He mea nui anō hoki te whakaae ki konei. Kia whakaae koe kāore rātou i roto i tō ao, ngana ki te tū ki runga i te tūnga koretake. He mea maori te ngaro nui i tētahi engari me whakaae anō hoki ki aua kare ā-roto. Ki te kore, ka mutu pea ka ki tonu koe i ngā kare ā-roto, ka nui rawa te whakapuaki ki ētahi atu."

Hei wareware rawa atu i tētahi i moe tahi ai koe, kātahi ka aroha ki a ia, hei wareware rawa atu rānei i tētahi hoa tāne o mua, hei wareware rānei i tētahi kotiro e tino arohaina ana e koe, whakaarohia ēnei mea e whai ake nei:

• Hono atu anō ki ngā hoa: Ko te huarahi pai ki te wareware i tētahi ko te hono atu anō ki ō hoa, ki tāu nei whakaaro kāore i arohia nā tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Haunga tēnei, whakapaua he wā ki ō hoa tata, ā, ka maumahara koe ki te nui o te aroha me te manaakitanga e tika ana kia rongohia e koe.
• Whakarongo ki ō hoa: Ina akiakihia koe e ō hoa kia haere ki waho ki te mahi i tētahi mea ngahau pērā i te kotiro i te po i waho, kia tūpato, kia whai i tā rātou arataki. Ko te mea pai anake tā rātou e hiahia ana mōu. Ki te hiahia āwhina koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, whakawhirinaki ki ō hoa mō te tautoko, whakarongo hoki ki a rātou.
• Ātaahua, ki te mea e tika ana kia: Kaua e aukati i a koe anō kia kaua e noho puku i mua i a rātou. Kāore rātou e whakahe i a koe mō te ngoikore. I tēnei wā, me noho ō hoa tata hei tautoko i a koe kia kaua e aro ki ngā āhuatanga pouri o te ao, nō reira me noho tahi me ō hoa. Koinei tētahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te neke whakamua i muri i te wehenga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me aha ahau mēnā e aroha ana ahau ki tētahi kāore e aroha ana ki ahau?

6. Me pēhea te wareware nui i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe – Arotahi ki te "I", ngana ki te hono anō ki a koe anō

Ko te hunga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ka arotahi ki te 'tātou'; ka whakarite mahere mā te kore mōhio me te whakaaro kei te noho tahi kōrua. Ka kitea nuitia ake ina pumau te whanaungatanga mō tētahi wā, ā, kua whakamahere kōrua mō te heke mai. Ngā wāhi e hiahia ana tāua ki te tūhura tahi, ngā mea me whakamātau, ā, ko tā tāua rārangi whāinga. Ko te 'Tātou'.

Engari kua kore katoa ēnā mea. Kua tae ki te wā kia tahuri tō titiro me tō arotahi ki a koe anō. Ki te hiahia koe kia tere te wareware i tētahi kua neke atu, me whakarite anō e koe tō oranga kia noho koe ki waenganui. Whakaritea koe ki te mea nui. Whakamahia te aroha ki a koe anō.

E kī ana a Shazia, "Ki te hiahia te tangata ki te āwhina i a ia anō kia wareware ki tētahi, ko te mea pai rawa atu mā rātou ko te puta atu i te wā whakakorekore. Kati te pātai i ngā pātai pēnei i te "He aha ahau?" me te "I aha ahau i tika ai kia pēnei?". Ina tīmata koe ki te whakaae ki ngā mea o te ao, ka māmā ake ngā āhuatanga. Ka nui ake hoki tō manawanui ki te whakatau i tēnei. Kaua e nui rawa te tauhohe, kaua hoki e ātete i ō kare ā-roto mō te ngaro i a rātou, kaua hoki e te āhua takoto kau i muri i te wehenga"... Kia mau ki tōna āhua, ā, mā tēnā koe e āwhina ki te neke whakamua."

• Arotahi ki te 'Ahau': I waenganui i te 'tātou', ka noho kore whakaaro koe ki a koe anō, ā, ka mutu te whakaaro ki a koe anō. Engari, kia neke atu ai koe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, me neke tuatahi koe i te "tātou" ki te "ahau". Me ako koe ki te whakarite i a koe anō hei kaupapa matua, me te arotahi ki tō oranga tinana. Koinei tētahi o ngā wāhanga tino nui o te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe.
• Mahihia tō whanaungatanga ki a koe anō: Ahakoa te kino o te wehenga, te nui rānei o te mamae e pā mai ana, tīmatahia te mahi i tō whanaungatanga ki a koe anō, hangaia he rārangi whāinga, tuhia ngā mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakamātau, ngā wāhi e hiahia ana koe ki te tūhura. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, engari he āwhina te hono anō ki a koe anō.
• Mahia taau e pai ai: Arotahi ki ngā mea e pai ana koe ki te mahi, ā, kāore anō kia mahia mō tētahi wā. Tērā pea ka uru atu ki tēnei ko te haereere takitahi. Hoki atu ki ō mahi whakangahau tino pai kāore i a koe te wā ki te mahi nā te mea i pau te nuinga o tō wā i te whanaungatanga. Haere ki waho ki te kai, ki te mātaki kiriata rānei – mahia ngā mea katoa e hari ai koe.

Ka kii a Kaiwhakamahi Reddit, "Ina noho koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka honoa ngā oranga, ngā tuakiri, ngā hiahia, ngā hiahia, ngā tauhohenga, ngā kare ā-roto, me ērā atu. Mēnā he whanaungatanga nui, ka tino honoa koe ki te tangata i ngā āhuatanga katoa, ā, ka ngaro pea tō whakaaro mōu ake... Kātahi ka motu te hononga, ā, ehara i te mea ka mahue koe me te kore whakaaro mōu ake, engari kāore e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki me te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa mō te tautoko. Ko te huarahi tere/ngāwari ki te wikitoria i tēnā ko te whakahoki anō i tō tuakiri whaiaro. Ngāna ki te mahara ki ngā mea e hanga ana i a koe hei tangata takitahi. He aha tāu e tino pai ai ki te mahi, kāore i whakaitihia, i patua rānei mō te hononga? Me mahi i tēnā. Ki taku wheako, koinei te whakaora pai rawa atu." Āe, e whakaae ana mātou!

7. Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe? Kimihia ngā take hei whakawhetai mō te wehenga

Hei wareware i tētahi i a kōrua e aroha tonu ana, ngana kia whai tirohanga pai ki te mea katoa. He whakaaro rerekē tēnei, engari koinei te ture whānui o te whakawhetai, ā, he mahi makutu. Tērā pea kei te tino aroha kōrua tetahi ki tetahi engari kāore i te tino pai. Tērā pea kei te aroha nui kōrua tetahi ki tetahi engari kāore i te tika te wā. Kāore he whanaungatanga i hangaia i te aroha noa. He nui atu ngā mea o roto i tēnei i te aroha. He nui atu i te aroha.

tetahi Reddit kaiwhakamahi i mea atu, "Haere atu i tēnei tangata me tō mana. He pai ake te noho mokemoke me te mōhio i tika tāu i mahi ai i te mea tika, i te noho mokemoke nā ngā whakataunga a tō hoa aroha." Ina tīmata koe ki te rapu i ngā mea pai i roto i tētahi āhuatanga kino, ka hurihia e koe tō āhuatanga hei mea pai. Koinei pea te huarahi pai ki te neke atu i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe.

• Arotahi ki ngā painga o te wehenga: Tīmatahia te whakarārangi i ngā take i whakawhetai ai koe mō te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Whakarārangihia ngā mea kino, kāore hoki i te hauora mō tō hinengaro me tō wairua i roto i taua whanaungatanga, me te take i pai ake ai koe i te korenga o tēnei tangata. Ina tīmata koe ki te arotahi ki ngā painga o te āhuatanga, ka māmā ake te whakaaro me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe.
• Tātarihia te tūranga o tō hoa o mua: Tirohia te tūranga o tō hoa o mua hei hoa, ā, whakarārangihia ō rātou ngoikoretanga katoa, ō rātou āhua rerekē, ō rātou whanonga whakarihariha me ō rātou āhua kino. I a tātou e pouri ana mō te aroha kua ngaro, ka whakakorea e ō tātou roro kua kī tonu i te moemoeā ngā mea kino, ka whakanuia hoki ngā mea pai. Āta whakahē i te kōrero e hangaia ana e tō hinengaro kia mutu ai te whakaaro ki tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe.
• Whakanuia tō herekoretanga: Tērā pea kei te ngana koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, engari kāore e aroha mai ana ki a koe. Āe, ki te kore rātou e aroha mai ki a koe, kāore koe e hiahia kia noho tahi me rātou! Kua tae ki te wā kia mārama ai koe ki ngā mea pai katoa o te noho tahi me rātou. harikoa te takakau. Whakarārangihia ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi nā te mea kāore koe e herea ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i ēnei rā. Tērā pea he kuware, he porangi rānei te rārangi; hei tauira, e mihi ana koe kua taea e koe te haere ki waho ki te whakatata atu ki te tāne/wahine e aroha ana ki a koe mō te wā roa, me ērā atu mea anō.

Ka māmā ake tō ngākau, ka marino hoki ina tīmata koe ki te kimi i ngā mea pai ake i roto i tēnei āhuatanga. Ka kite koe he maha ngā take pai hei wehe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, engari kāore i te tika māu.

8. Whakamātauria te murunga hara hei wareware i tētahi i a kōrua e aroha tonu ana

Kaua e pupuri i te riri, tukua atu. Tangi, hamama, karanga – ahakoa he aha te mea hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakaputa i ō kare ā-roto, kia kore ai tetahi e whara. Whakaaetia te meka ehara i te mea ko koe anake te he, ā, he ōrite te wāhi o kōrua ki te whakakino i te whanaungatanga, ā, i te mutunga ka kore e taea te whakatika. Kua roa kōrua e noho ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, ā, ko tō kōrua pea te he. He mea pai kua puta kōrua i tēnei wā. Arotahi noa ki aua kare ā-roto.

E mea ana a Shazia, "He mea tino nui te muru hara, ā, he wāhanga nui hoki o te oranga tangata whānui. Me mārama tātou kāore tātou e mahi ana i tētahi mea pai mō tētahi atu. Ka mahia te muru hara hei whakaora i a koe anō i ngā kare ā-roto paitini, ngā kare ā-roto kino me te pupuri i te mauahara ki tētahi atu. He tangata katoa tātou, kāore e taea e tātou te kore e mahi i ngā hapa. Engari mā te pupuri i taua kino ka tino uaua tō oranga. Me ngana koe ki te muru i te hara o tētahi atu kia mau ai tō ake rangimarie hinengaro."

• Murua tō hoa o mua: He mea nui te murunga hara i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea i te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua, engari i te wā kua mutu te hononga. Nō reira, akona te muru i te hara o tō hoa o mua, nā te mea ka māmā ake te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe.
• Murua koe: Murua tō ngākau o mua mō te whati i a koe. Engari, ko te mea nui ake, murua koe mō te whakawhirinaki me te aroha ki te tangata hē, te whakapohehe rānei i a koe anō mā te aroha ki tētahi kāore i te aro ki ō kare ā-roto.
• He inihi te tawhiti atu ki te kati: Kia murua rā anō e koe ō hara, kāore e taea e koe te neke atu, te wareware rānei i aua hara. Ko te murunga hara tētahi o ngā mea nui ngā mahi hei whakarite kia kati ā, whakarerea te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, kāore nei e aroha mai ki a koe
• Kaua e pupuri i te mauahara: Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wareware i te tangata e tino arohaina ana e koe, engari kāore hoki te pupuri me te pupuri i te mauahara e āwhina. Nō reira, tukua atu ngā mauahara, ngā kare ā-roto rānei kua puritia e koe mō tō hoa o mua. Kaua e mahi i tēnā mōna. Me mahi mō tō ake whakaaro pai me te rangimarie o te hinengaro.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ki te Whakarērea Koe e tetahi, Tukua atu rātou…Anei te Take!

9. Kia tuwhera ki ngā whanaungatanga hou

Kaua e tukua te mamae o te ngākau, te whanaungatanga kino rānei kia whakangaueue i tō whakapono ki te whakaaro o te aroha anō ki tētahiKia pouri koe, kia tangihia hoki te matenga o tētahi i arohaina nuitia e koe, whakatuwheratia tō ngākau me tō hinengaro ki te tūmanako ka kitea anō te aroha. Nā te mea ka kitea anō e koe! Ki te aroha tonu koe ki a rātou, tera pea ka rite ki te kore he aroha e toe ana ki a koe i te ao engari ehara tēnā i te pono. Kei te tata mai, kaua e manukanuka.

• Kaua e aro nui ki te harikoa ake ake: Kia mārama koe, ehara i te mea ko ngā whanaungatanga katoa ka noho tonu i roto i tō ao ake ake. Ko ētahi he upoko noa iho hei whakaako i a koe i ngā akoranga, hei āwhina hoki i tō tipu hei tangata, koia te take me tuku atu e koe te aro nui ki te 'harikoa ake ake' ka neke atu.
• Ehara i te whanaungatanga kino: Kaua e kīia tō whanaungatanga he kino nā te mea kua nui te wā me te kaha i pau i a kōrua ki roto. He maha ngā maharatanga pai o te wā i noho tahi ai kōrua. Kāore he whanaungatanga kino. Ko ngā tāngata anake e kore e mārama te whakaaro, me te hunga e kore e whakaae ki ō rātou ngoikoretanga. He hunga pakari anō hoki e whakaatu ana i te whanaungatanga he kino, engari kāore rawa ngā whanaungatanga e kino.
• Whakamahia hei akoranga: He nui ake āu akoranga i ngā maharatanga, koia te take i pakaru ai te whanaungatanga i hangaia e koe. Nō reira, tirohia hei wheako ako, kaua e pouri mō te whanaungatanga, e amuamu rānei mō te mutunga.
• Hoki atu ki te ao whakaipoipo: Kia rite koe, whakaipoipo ki ētahi atu tāngata. Hoki atu ki te ao tūroa. Tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou, taunekeneke ki a rātou, mōhio ki a rātou, kia rite hoki mō te whakaipoipo i muri i te wehenga. Kimihia ngā huarahi hei tūtaki i ngā tumanakohanga ā muri ake nei.

tenei Reddit kaiwhakamahi i mea, "He wheako ako tēnei. I kite ahau i te nui o taku ngaronga i roto i taua whanaungatanga tawhito, nō reira i pau te tau ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa e pai ana ki ahau, me te noho ko au anō. Ehara i te mea e hiahia ana ahau kia noho takakau ake ake engari i tino whakaaro ahau i roto i te whanaungatanga e whai ake nei, kāore au e hiahia ki te patu i te nuinga o taku ake tuakiri."

Ko te putanga mai i tētahi whanaungatanga roa ka rite ki te hikoi i runga i te ahi me ngā maharatanga ka mamae noa tō ngākau. Engari ko ngā mea katoa e mutu ana ka waiho he tumanako mō tētahi tīmatanga hou, nō reira hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a koe mā te neke atu i tētahi kua noho ki mua. Katia te upoko, kātahi ka neke whakamua. Tērā pea ka hinga koe ki tētahi, i tēnei wā ka nui ake te uaua. Tērā pea i tēnei wā, ka tika ō mahi me tō aroha ki a rātou.

Whakarongo ki te tohutohu o tēnei Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kī ana, "Ka mau te mamae me te mana. Ka haere tonu koe me te hiki i tō mahunga ki runga. Ka tangi koe i roto i tō urunga i te pō. Ka whakamama te wā i tēnei mamae. Ko tō waiaro ki a koe anō, ko te mōhio ka aroha anō koe, engari ko te mea nui ko koe he tika mōna, ka haria koe ki mua ki tētahi wā kāore tō ngākau e pā ki te mura o te mamae, engari ki te kaha o tētahi i ora pai me te whakapehapeha nui."

Tukua ngā mea o mua, kia taea ai e koe te awhi i te ao o nāianei me te ao o āpōpō me te hinengaro hou. Ki te tino pouri koe, ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te haere ki te rongoā hinengaro me te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mō ō kare ā-roto. Ki te rapu āwhina koe ki te whakaora i tēnei mamae me te rapu huarahi ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, ko te rōpū kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro pūkenga a Bonobology he... pawhiri atu!

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Ehara i a Koe, engari ko Au – He Whakamārama mō te Wehenga? He aha te Tikanga Tuturu

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.