Ko te tinihanga tetahi o ngā mea tino kino rawa atu ka pā ki te marena, ki te whanaungatanga roa rānei. Ina pakaru tō whakawhirinaki, he uaua ki te oranga tonutanga o te whanaungatanga. E kore pea koe e ako ki te wikitoria i te tinihanga, engari kāore te wā o te kore whakapono e tohu i te toenga o tō oranga, ā, kaua hoki e aukati i a koe ki ngā whanaungatanga me te aroha mō te pai.
He pono, he ngāwari ake te kōrero i te mahi i te mahi i te neke atu i muri i te tinihanga. Ka mamae tonu te tinihanga a tō hoa, engari ki te tuwhera tō hinengaro, ā, ki te hiahia koe ki te tīmata hou, ka taea e koe te wikitoria i te mamae o te tinihanga. Tērā pea he roa te huarahi ki te wikitoria i te tangata nāna i tinihanga, i teka hoki ki a koe. Engari mā ēnei kaupae 15, he tino taea.
Hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me pēhea te mahi, ka tukuna atu e mātou ngā whakaaro mai i te tohunga hinengaro a Kavita Panyam (he Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro, he hononga ā-ao ki te American Psychological Association), kua neke atu i te rua tekau tau ia e āwhina ana i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakatau i ō rātou raruraru whanaungatanga.
Me pēhea te wikitoria i te tinihanga – 15 ngā huarahi whai whakaaro nui hei kati i te upoko
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ina tinihanga tō hoa ki a koe, he mea maori te puta o ngā pātai i roto i tō mahunga. He aha i tupu ai? I pēhea te tupu? Me pēhea te whakamutu i te tinihanga? Me pēhea te mutu te whakaaro mō te tinihangatia? Me pēhea te whakatika i te oranga o te tangata, me ērā atu mea.
"Ko te neke atu i tētahi whanaungatanga i tukua ai koe kia tinihangatia te huarahi anake hei haere. He momo tukino te kore whakapono, ā, mā te noho tonu ki reira ka nui ake te raruraru," te kī a Kavita Panyam, "He whakatau maia te neke atu, me te neke whakamua ina kei te rapu huarahi koe ki te whakakore i te tinihanga. Me whai pūnaha tautoko pai koe, ā, me mahi koe ki te whakaora i tō puremu i runga i te huarahi hauora."
Anei ētahi huarahi whai hua, whai tikanga hoki hei whakamutu i te upoko, hei whakatau i aua kare ā-roto pōrearea i muri i te tinihangatia, ā, hei arahi i tētahi oranga hou.
1. Kia mōhio ki ngā taipitopito
Te ora i te tinihanga Ko tētahi o ngā wero nui o te ao te whakamāoritanga, engari ko te taahiraa tuatahi ina mōhio koe kua tinihangatia koe ko te rapu i ngā kōrero tika mōu. Me mōhio koe ki ngā mea katoa – te take o te mahi pōrearea, te take i puta ai, te auau o te mahi, me ērā atu mea i mua i te whakatau. Kia tino mōhio koe kei a koe ngā kōrero katoa, kaua e whakawhirinaki noa ki ngā kōrero rongo noa, e mahi whakapae noa iho rānei.
Ki te mōhio koe kua nui rawa ōu tauhohenga, kāore rānei i hoatu he wā ki tō hoa ki te whakamārama i a ia anō, ka kino atu tēnei ki tō hinengaro. Heoi anō, ki te kore e whakautua, ka noho tonu ēnei pātai, ka piki ake ki a koe i muri mai. Nō reira, he pai ake te tango i te whitiki, te tiki i ngā taipitopito katoa, ā, ka mutu.
2. Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō hei pouri mō te hononga
Tērā pea kei te uaua koe ki te hoki anō ki te ora i muri i te tinihanga. Ehara i te mea ka taea e koe te wareware i roto i te rā kotahi. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wikitoria i tō marena kua mate, i tō whanaungatanga rānei nā te mea he hononga pumau kua whakarerea e koe. "He mea nui te pouri, me whai wā ki te wikitoria i ō kare ā-roto, ki te whakaae rānei ki tō āhuatanga," te kī a Kavita.
Ka haere tonu te haerenga kare ā-roto hurihuri mō tētahi wā, ā, e kore e ngāwari te muru hara ahakoa kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakakore i te tinihanga. Kāore pea te mamae e memeha wawe, nō reira he mea nui kia whakaae koe ka noho tonu ngā kare ā-roto o te ohorere, te ohorere, te wehi, te pouri me te pōhēhē mō tētahi wā.
3. Whakauru atu ki te rongoā
Me pēhea te mutu te whakaaro mō te tinihangatia? Tikina te āwhina e hiahiatia ana e koe. E kī ana a Kavita, "Me aro koe ki ngā mea katoa kua pa. Kia whiwhi koe i te rongoā, ahakoa kei a koe ngā mahara o te tukino, te mutunga rānei o te whanaungatanga, ka mōhio koe me pēhea te whakatau i tēnā."
Mā te rongoā koe e āwhina ki te tere ake i te tukanga whakaora kia hiahia ai koe ki te tīmata i ngā tīmatanga hou, kaua ki te noho pōuri, ki te noho pōuri rānei. putea kare He mea nui ngā mea kua mahue iho i a koe, ā, he rerekē ki ō hoa e akiaki ana i a koe kia wareware ki ngā mea o mua, ka āwhina te whakaora hinengaro i a koe kia mārama ki ngā mea o mua – he taahiraa nui tēnei i a koe e rapu ana me pēhea te wikitoria i te tinihanga.
4. Kaua e uru ki ngā whanaungatanga hou
Nā te mea kua mokemoke koe, kāore hoki he hoa, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te whai hoa aroha, ā, koinei te wā ka pā mai ai te tūponotanga o ngā hononga tūpono. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe he mea hou hei whakararuraru i a koe i muri i te tinihanga.
Engari kāore e puta tonu mai i taua wā. Kia tino mohio kei arahi te mokemoke i a koe ki roto i te ngā whanaungatanga whakaora ngā raruraru kare ā-roto rānei, nā te mea ka nui ake tō takoto kau, tō pouri rānei.
"Ko te wā tino kino rawa atu hei tono i tētahi ki roto i tō ao ko te wā e tino ngoikore ana koe. Kāore koe e mōhio ki te tangata e haere mai ana ki roto i tō ao, he roto marino pea ia, he awhiowhio rānei ka nui ake te pānga ki a koe," te kī a Kavita. "Kaua e tukua tētahi kia tata mai ki a koe i a koe e ngoikore ana, e ngāwari ana hoki."
5. Kaua e moe tahi mō te pō kotahi
Ae, he whakamatautauranga nui tēnei. Ki te kore koe e aro ki ō kare ā-roto i muri i te tinihanga, tera pea ka whakaaro koe he mea māmā noa te peke ki te moenga me tetahi. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe kāore he aha te moe tāne noa nā te mea kua tinihangatia koe e tō hoa. "Waihoki, mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga i tinihangatia e tō hoa, tērā pea kāore tō oranga moepuku i te ora tonu," te kī a Kavita.
"He mea maori te ara ake o ō hiahia, ā, tera pea ka rapu koe i te makona. Engari ki te mea he tangata hē, ka nui ake ngā raruraru ka puta mai i ēnei here kore here," tāna tāpiri. Mā te taka ki te moepuku noa, ki te moe tahi rānei i te pō kotahi hei wareware i te mamae, e kore e ako i a koe me pēhea te karo i te tinihanga.
6. Kia aro ki ō pūtea
Ahakoa ko te aro tuatahi kia ora i muri i te tinihanga, ko te tuarua kia mau tonu ō moni. Mena kei waenganui koe i te wehenga atu me te rapu whakarere, he mea nui ake tēnei. Kaua e tukua tō pouri kia hinga koe ki te wāhi ka tīmata te pakaru o ngā mea katoa.
Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te tinihanga, ā, ka pāngia koe e te nui o te pānga ki te taha hinengaro. Engari, kāore koe e hiahia kia tahaetia ō moni. Whakahaerehia ō moni, rapua he āwhina a tētahi kaitohutohu, he hoa rānei mēnā e tika ana. Ā, ka āta haere te whanaketanga o ētahi atu wāhanga o te ao.
7. Kōwhiria pai tō hunga whakarongo
Ko tētahi tohutohu nui i roto i te pukapuka 'me pēhea te wikitoria i te tinihanga' ko te whiriwhiri whakaaro nui i ngā hoa e whakawhirinaki ana koe ki a rātou, e rapu tautoko ana hoki. "Kaua e whāki i ō raruraru tūmataiti ki te katoa," te tohutohu a Kavita. "Me whiriwhiri noa i tētahi rōpū hoa whiriwhiri hei hoa haere māu."
"Tērā pea ka whakamatautauria koe ki te pupuri i ngā pakihiwi e tukuna ana e te tangata hei tautoko, engari ka taea e tēnā te arahi i a koe ki te raruraru me te pōrearea, nā te mea koinā te wā ka whakamahia koe mō te moepuku, mō te moni rānei. Ehara i te mea mā te katoa e mōhio ō kare ā-roto i muri i te tinihangatia. Kia tupato ki te kimi i te hunga tika hei haumi i ō kare ā-roto, hei whakapuaki hoki i tō kōrero."
Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.
8. Ngāna kia kaua e whakahāwea
Me pēhea te mutu te whakaaro mō te tinihangatia? Āe, kua pā mai pea he wheako kino ki a koe, engari kaua e titiro noa ki ngā whanaungatanga katoa mā taua tirohanga. Ka taea te whai whanaungatanga angitu i muri i te tinihanga, ko te mea anake e hiahiatia ana he waiaro pai me te hiahia ki te tuku i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki te ora.
Kaua e haere tahi me te 'he tinihanga ngā tāne katoa' he whakaaro rānei 'he kore pono ngā wāhine katoa'. Ka ārai noa iho i a koe kei hanga hononga whai tikanga ā muri ake nei. Kia mōhio koe kei a koe ngā tika katoa, me ngā whai wāhitanga katoa ki te kimi anō i te harikoa, ā, ka tino kitea e koe.
9. Kia tupato koe
Koinei te wā e tino hiahia ana koe ki te tiaki i a koe anō. Hei whakakore i te tinihangatia hei tāne, hei wahine rānei, me whakapau kaha koe ki te tiaki i tō hauora hinengaro me tō hauora tinana. Mā te rongoā hinengaro koe e āwhina ki te whakatau i te āhuatanga me te whakahaere i taua āhuatanga i roto i te huarahi hauora.
Me whakapau moni anō hoki koe ki te yoga, ki te whakangungu aroātahi, me te whakaaroaro hei whakapai ake i te hauora hinengaro. Kia pai te whakakori tinana, kia tiakina hoki tō kai. Kia mārama koe ka pā tonu mai ngā kare ā-roto maha ki a koe pērā i te riri, te pouri, te manukanuka, ā, tera pea ka āwhina ēnei i a koe ki te aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga kino. E kore tō ahotea e memeha, tera pea ka iti haere mēnā ka aro nui koe ki a koe anō me te whakapai ake i a koe anō.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te aroha ki a koe anō: 21 Ngā Tohutohu
10. Kaua e ngana ki te rapu utu
Ka pakaru tō whakawhirinaki ki ngā whanaungatanga i te kore whakapono, ā, he uaua ki te whakahoki mai. I taua wā, ko te rapu utu pea te whakaaro tuatahi i roto i tō mahunga hei whakakore i te tangata nāna i tinihanga, i teka hoki ki a koe. I a koe e whakaaroaro ana me pēhea te wikitoria i te tinihanga, ka tino whakamatautauria rawatia te hiahia ki te utu i tō hoa i te moni kotahi.
Whakamutua aua whakaaro. Kāore he hua māu mā te whanonga i rite ki tā tō hoa, engari ko te mamae nui me te ahua rerekē o te rapu utu. Kaua e rapu utu, rapua he āwhina, ā, ngana ki te neke atu i te raruraru.
11. Kaua e ngana ki te hono anō
Hei tino harikoa i muri i te tinihangatia, me whai koe i te ture kore-pāKi te hiahia pono koe ki te ako me pēhea te karo i te tinihanga, me ako tuatahi koe me pēhea te tapahi i ngā taura i herea ai koe ki a ia. Ina whakatau koe ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga, tapahia tonutia.
Kaua e pupuri i tētahi whakapā atu mō ngā rā 90 tuatahi. Mā tēnei ka puta te karere kua pā kino te wā o te puremu ki a koe. Muri iho, wetehia te whai i a rātou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori. He uaua pea tēnei ki te mahi engari mā te kite i ā rātou pou me ā rātou pikitia ka puta ake pea ngā maharatanga kawa ka taea e koe te kore e mahi.
12. Tirohia te haere whakamua
Kia memeha haere te ohorere, ā, kua oti i a koe te whakatau, kaua e titiro whakamuri. Mā te mutu o tō whakaaro mō te tinihangatia, ka māmā ake te haere whakamua me te whakaute. Tirohia tō oranga me te mea kua mutu tētahi upoko, ā, kei te tatari mai ngā whai wāhitanga hou ki a koe.
Tērā pea he maha ngā whakamātautau kia hoatu anō he whai wāhitanga, he whakaarohia te hohou i te rongo ki tō hoa rangatira engari he hapa tēnā. Tērā pea ka āwangawanga koe mō te noho takakau mō tētahi wā. Engari ki te noho tonu koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kua tukua tō whakawhirinakitanga, ka noho pūmau koe ake ake.
13. Whakatakotoria he whāinga hou māu ake
Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te whakakore i te tinihangatia hei tāne, hei wahine rānei, ko te whakatakoto whāinga hou – a-tangata, a-ngaio hoki – ā, ka tīmata ki te mahi ki te whakatutuki i aua whāinga. He maha ngā wā i roto i ngā whanaungatanga pumau mo te wā roa, ka wareware ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i tō rāua ake tuakiri i a rāua e mahi ana ki te whakatutuki i ngā whāinga ōrite.
Koinei te wā ki a koe kia wetekina tō wairua, kia titiro hoki ki te mahi i ngā mea māu ake. Mai i ngā whāinga hauora ki te eke ki ngā taumata hou o tō mahi, arotahi ki ngā mea kāore he pānga ki tō whanaungatanga o mua. Mā tēnei ka hoatu he tikanga hou ki tō oranga.
14. Haere tahi me ngā hoa tawhito
Kāore he painga o te pupuri i ō kare ā-roto. Koinei tō wā ki te hono anō ki ō hoa tawhito, tērā pea ko te hunga i mawhiti atu i tō ao i muri i tō urunga ki te whanaungatanga, ki te marena rānei.
Haere atu ki waho me rātou, kōrerotia ō kōrero ki a rātou. Tukua ō taumahatanga engari, e ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua i te tohu 6, whiriwhiria ko wai tāu e kōrero ai. Mā te kōrero ngākau ki te ngākau me tō hoa pai ka piki ake tō oxytocin, arā, ngā homoni harikoa.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakaae kua mutu tō marena
15. Kia tuwhera ki te aroha anō
Ko te mea kino rawa atu ka pā mai ko te kati i a koe anō i ngā whanaungatanga, i te aroha rānei. Tērā pea he āhua whakamataku te whakaaro ki te hoki ki te whakaipoipo, engari me whakarērea e koe ngā āhuatanga kino, ā, me hiahia koe ki te whakamātau anō i te aroha.
Heoi, i tēnei wā, hurihia tō huarahi. He mea maori te tūpato i muri i tētahi wheako kino, engari mā te whai i ngā tumanako ngāwari ake, me te whakatau kia kaua e whakataurite ki tō hoa o mua, ka āwhina. Kia pakeke, kaua e whakataurite i te katoa me ngā mea katoa ki te paraihe kotahi.
Ka pāngia koe e te tinihangatia e te tini o ngā kare ā-roto, ā, ka pā pea ki tō whakapono ki a koe anō me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō. Heoi, ki te whakatau koe ki te wehe atu i te marena, me mahi me te mōhio me te whakapau kaha kia huri hei huringa hou pai i roto i tō ao.
FAQs
Ka taea te hoki anō ki te āhua noa i muri i te tinihanga, ki te mea ka whakapau kaha ngā hoa e rua. Ko te tangata nāna i tinihanga me tango te kawenga ki te whakapūmau i te haumaru o tana hoa. Ko te tangata ia i tinihangatia me ako ki te wareware i te wā i pā ki muri, ka tīmata i ngā tīmatanga hou.
Hei wareware i te tinihanga, me hoatu he wā ki a koe anō ki te pouri mō tētahi whanaungatanga. Me whai rongoā hinengaro, me tūtaki ki ngā hoa tawhito, me whakapau kaha ki te neke atu i ngā mea o mua, me te tīmata i ngā tīmatanga hou.
Kāore e taea te memeha haere o te mamae i puta mai i te tinihanga. He roa te wā e pau ana ki te wareware, ki te neke whakamua me te tīmata hou. Me hoatu he wā ki a koe kia nui ai te wā hei whakaora i ngā patunga i puta mai i te tinihanga.
Āe. Kāore e taea te whakawhanui i ngā take mō te tinihanga. He maha ngā tāngata e tinihanga ana i ō rātou hoa aroha nui, i runga i ngā āhuatanga me ngā kare ā-roto. Ko te mea nui, ki te tino aroha tetahi ki a koe, e kore ia e hoki anō ki te tinihanga.
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