He aha ngā hapa o te whanaungatanga, me pēhea te whakatau i aua hapa?

E mōhio ana te katoa ki te kōrero mō Goldilocks me ngā Pea e Toru. I kitea a Goldilocks i roto i te whare o te pea, ā, ka whakakahoretia e ia tētahi tūru nā te mea he "rahi rawa," tētahi moenga nā te mea he "iti rawa," ā, ka kai noa i te peihana parāoa ina "tika". Pērā i a Goldilocks, ka rapu tonu tātou i ngā hapa o tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ka mutu te mea pai i mua i te tīmatanga. He mea mōhio tēnei? Ki te mea kei te rite koe ki a Goldilocks i roto i tō kōrero oranga, ā, kei te rapu tonu koe i a Mr., i a Miss Flawless rānei, tera pea ka tatari koe mō te wā roa i mua i te kitenga i te aroha. 

He aha ngā hapa o te whanaungatanga? 

E ai ki te Papakupu Ingarihi o Cambridge, ko ngā hapa o te whanaungatanga o te tangata e whakaahuatia ana he "āhuatanga kāore e hiahiatia ana i roto i te āhua o te tangata". Tērā pea ko te tikanga o ēnei he herenga, he hapa, me ngā ngoikoretanga e kitea ana e tētahi atu tangata (e koe rānei). Ka taea e ngā hapa o te āhua i roto i ngā whanaungatanga te ahua tino whakahē, ā, nā te mea he pērā tonu.

Kia pono tātou – kāore he tangata tino tika. He āhua motuhake, he āhua rerekē anō hoki tō te katoa e pai ai, e ārai ai rānei i ngā hoa rangatira. Kei ia tangata te whakatau me pēhea te whakaae ki ngā hapa o tō hoa rangatira. He aha ngā mea ka taea e koe te noho tahi me ia, ā, he aha ngā mea e taea ana e koe te noho tahi me ia. Tuhinga o mua ka mutu tō kōrua whanaungatanga?  

Kia maumahara kei reira ngā hapa hauora o te whanaungatanga, ā, kei reira anō hoki ngā tohu ārai e kitea ana. He mea nui kia mārama ki te rerekētanga i waenganui i ngā mea e rua. Ko ngā hapa noa o te tangata ko ngā take pēnei i te whakaroa, te pōrearea, me te hiahia whaiaro. Ko ngā hapa he āwangawanga iti noa iho, he mea noa iho rānei e puta ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa nā te mea he tangata noa iho. I tētahi atu taha, ko ngā tohu ārai he tohu kei te mate te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga. Ko te tukino ā-hinengaro me te ā-tinana, te nama kino, me te kore whakapono he tohu ārai katoa, ki te kore e arohia, ka pā kino ki te hauora hinengaro o te tangata. 

25 Ngā hapa tino noa i roto i te whanaungatanga 

Kua whakarārangihia e ngā tohunga ngā hapa nui rawa atu o te whanaungatanga (me pēhea hoki te whakatau i aua hapa). E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, ko ēhea ngā hapa ka taea e koe te noho tahi me ēhea hoki ngā mea ka huri hei take mō te kore whakaae, he rerekē i ia tangata, i ia tangata, ā, kei a koe te tikanga ki te whakatau. Kia taea ai e koe te mahi i tēnā, me mōhio koe ki te āhua o ēnei hapa. Hei whakatutuki i tēnā, me titiro tātou ki ngā hapa whanaungatanga e 25 e tino kitea ana:

1. Te tinihanga 

Ehara tēnei i te hapa ngāwari ki te wareware i roto i ngā whanaungatanga piripono. Heoi anō, mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, ka taea e te tangata te kimi i te pūtake o te raruraru, ka ngana ki te whakaoti. Ko ētahi tāngata ka ngāwari, ā, he maha ngā wā ka teka mō ngā mea koretake. Ko ētahi ia kei te huna i tētahi mea ngaro nui whakaharahara. Ko te wāhi e whakatakoto ai koe i te rohe me te nui o tō whakanui i te pono te mea e whakatau ana i te kino o tēnei āhuatanga kino ki tō whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: 25 Ngā Raruraru Hononga Tino Noa

2. Te kore aro 

Kei te pāngia koe e aua tawai me ngā katakata tonu e tukua ana ki a koe? Kei te whakaiti tonu tō hoa i a koe i mua i te aroaro o ētahi atu, kei te kōrero ā-tika rānei i ngā mea hei whara i a koe? He tohu ēnei katoa o te kore aro me te kore whakaute. Hei whakatau i tēnei, me kōrero nui koe mō ngā mea e whakaaetia ana e koe, e kore rānei e whakaaetia, me haere atu rānei. 

3. Te piripono 

Kei reira te whakawhirinakitanga, ā, kei reira anō te whakawhirinakitanga tahi. Ko te mea tuatahi he whakaaturanga noa o te hononga kare ā-roto, ko te mea tuarua ia ka āta tango i te harikoa o tetahi hononga wā roaKo te mea tino pai, me hiahia koe ki tētahi hoa rangatira e kore e wehi ki te kī mai e hiahia ana rātou ki a koe. 

4. Te wehi ki te whakapau kaha 

He aha rā kōrua i noho tahi ai mēnā kāore kōrua i te whakaaro kotahi mō ngā mahere mō te wā roa, te marena, me ngā tamariki? I te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi hoa pea, ko te wehi kei piripono koe me waiho hei take e kore ai e whakaaetia. 

5. Te hiahia ki te whakahaere 

Me whakahaere noa iho e ētahi tāngata ngā āhuatanga katoa o ō rātou oranga. Ahakoa kei roto i a koe tēnei āhuatanga hononga whaiāipo Kei ngā taha e rua te mana ki te pā tetahi ki tetahi. Mena he mea noa iho mā tō hoa e whakamahere te rā tae noa ki te meneti whakamutunga, he māmā ake pea te tuku. Heoi, ki te hiahia rātou ki te whai wāhi ki tāu mahi, ki te hunga e tūtaki ai koe, me te āhua o tāu whanonga, tera pea he raruraru kei mua.  

6. Te kore aroha 

Ehara i te katoa te hunga e pai ana ki ngā putiputi me ngā tina rama. Mena he mea tēnei nāu, ehara i te mea nā tō hoa, me noho kōrua ki te kōrero. Me tūtaki pea i waenganui, ā, ka tae ki tētahi whakaaetanga? Ko ngā pō whakaipoipo e rua i te marama te mea pai. Kia maumahara ko ētahi tāngata e rongo ana i te aroha engari he uaua ki te whakapuaki. 

7. Te angitu i roto i te pakanga 

Ehara te whanaungatanga hauora i te whanaungatanga e ahu mai ana i ngā tautohetohe me ngā pakanga noa iho. Ko ētahi tāngata e pai ana ki te whakamatau i tētahi whakaaro ahakoa te aha, he tino uaua ki te whakatau. 

8. Whai whakaaro 

If he tangata hiahia tō hoa ā, kāore he mea kē atu e whai tikanga ana, tērā pea kāore he aroha pumau e puta mai ana. 

9. He rite tonu ki ngā hoa

Ahakoa ka mate te mura o te aroha tuatahi, he mea nui te pupuri i te hiahia roa ki tō hoa kia ora tonu ai te whanaungatanga. 

10. He tangata whakarongo ngoikore 

Ina tirohia e koe ō ngoikoretanga i roto i te whanaungatanga, pātai atu ki a koe anō, "He pai tō hoa whakarongo? Ā, he pai hoki koe?" Kei te meinga e kōrua kia rongo kei te whai mana, kei te whakautehia hoki kōrua? Ki te kore tētahi o ngā hoa e ngana ki te whakarongo ki te kōrero a tētahi atu, ka ara ake pea te whakaaro kāore koe e kitea, kāore e rangona, kāore hoki koe e maioha ki roto i te whanaungatanga, ka puta ai te riri – he tohu whero e kī ana kāore ngā mea katoa i te pai i roto i tō pararaiha aroha.

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Tohu kei te Mana ia i roto i te Hononga

11. Te kore whakawhetai 

Ko te whanaungatanga kaha he whanaungatanga e warewarehia ana ngā hapa noa, ā, ka taea e ngā take iti te noho ki muri, nā te wairua whakawhetai. Ko te whakawhetai me te whakawhetai ki ngā mea kei a koe tētahi o ngā huarahi māmā ki te hono atu i te taumata kare ā-roto. Ki te kore tēnā, ahakoa ngā mea tino iti rawa e whakapataritari ana i tō hononga, ka tīmata pea te pā kino ki a koe. 

12. Te hae tonu 

He kaha tō te hoa hae ki te whakaputa i ngā kare kino rawa atu. Ngā raruraru nui e haere tahi ana me ngā kare o te te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga, pērā i te iti o te whakaaro ki a koe anō, te koretake o te māia, te pouri, me te riri, ka taea e ēnei te turaki i tō whanaungatanga ki tua atu i te taumata e taea ai te whakatika.

13. Te whakahaere moni ngoikore 

Ka tere te tāpiri atu o te nama kino, ngā raruraru pūtea e whakararuraru ana, me te whakahaere moni ngoikore ki ngā tūponotanga e kore e taea te wikitoria. Ina rapu koe i ngā hapa nui o te whanaungatanga, me whakatau koe mēnā he rite ngā whakaaro o tō hoa rangatira mō te moni ki ōu.

14. Kāore he wawata 

Kaua te kore o tō hoa e oho ake, e waiho hei raruraru mēnā kāore koe i te hiahia nui. Heoi, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi e rite ana ki a koe mō whāinga hononga me ngā tūmanakohanga ā muri ake nei, ko te hoa e tango ana i te ora i ia rā i ia wā, kāore pea i te tika māu. Mēnā koinei te āhua, he pai ake kia kaua e moumou i ngā tau maha ki tētahi whanaungatanga kāore e mutu. 

15. Te hurihanga tonu o te wairua 

Me pātai koe ki a koe anō mēnā ka taea e koe te aro atu ki te pōuri tonu o tētahi atu. Kāore tēnei e whakararuraru i a koe, kāore rānei, ka tōia koe ki roto i te ara hurihuri o ngā kare ā-roto me ngā whakaaro? 

16. Ngā waranga

Ina kōrero mai tētahi tangata ki a koe mō tōna āhua, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakarongo. He maha ā tātou whakaaro ka taea e tātou te 'whakaora' i te tangata mai i ā rātou waranga me te whakapai ake i ngā mea. Mā te whakaae ki ēnei momo hapa i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka nui ake te kino i te pai i te wā roa. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino – 5 ngā huarahi pai rawa atu

17. Kāore he whakaute mō ngā rohe 

He rohe ā-hinengaro, ā-tinana rānei ēnei – ko te mea nui, me whai wāhi tātou katoa i ētahi wā. Ina tino kore e aro ki tēnei hiahia, ka taea e tēnei kore rohe te ārai i te tumanako mō tētahi hononga pumau. Mā te whakaaro pohehe ko te piripono me te whakawhirinakitanga he tohu o te whanaungatanga piripono, ka noho hei tetahi o ngā hapa tino kitea i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. 

18. Ngā take whakawhirinaki 

He maha ngā wā i tupu ai ngā mea i roto i hononga o mua ka pā tonu ki ngā whakaaro me ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata, ka hua ake he raruraru whakawhirinaki koretake. Mena koinei te āhua, he pai ki te kōrero ki tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro me te tiki i te tautoko e hiahiatia ana e koe hei whakaoti i tēnei hapa o te whanaungatanga, hei waihanga hoki i tētahi heke mai hauora.

19. Whakapono 

He mea nui tēnei. Māu rānei e atawhai whakaponokore hei kaiwhakakore i te whakaaetanga ka haere atu, ka whakatau rānei koe ki te wareware i tēnei hara, ka ngana ki te whakaora anō i tō whanaungatanga. Engari kia mahara, ina tae ki te whakaae ki ngā hapa o te whanaungatanga, ko te kore pono te mea tino uaua ki te whakaae me te whakatika. 

20. Te whakahaere i te waa 

Ko ngā whakaaro mō te tōmuri me te wā tika e tohu ana i te nui atu i te pūkenga whakahaere wā. Ki te tangata e whakanui ana, e whakaute ana hoki i te wā, ko te hoa e tōmuri tonu ana he arai e kore e taea te wikitoria.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me Hoatu e Au he Wāhi ki a Ia – 9 Ngā Tohu Hei Whakaaroaro

21. Te pukuriri kore mahi 

Ka taea e te āhua pukuriri te whakaatu he whakahaere i te pai rawa atu, ā, i te kino rawa atu he tukino. Ki te whai tō hoa i tēnei momo whanonga, kia mōhio koe kāore e taea te whawhai tika.

22. Te Aarekoretanga 

Mena kua whakararuraru, kua whakapoauau rānei koe i ngā whanaungatanga o mua, kua arahi rānei tētahi wheako o mua ki ngā raruraru manukanuka, he pai ake te kōrero tika mō te āhua o tō hauora hinengaro i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga.

23. He tino whakamarie tetahi ki tetahi 

Ae, tera te mea e kiia ana he tino pai rawa te noho tahi me tetahi, ā, ka whakakino i te taha aroha o tētahi whanaungatanga. Heoi, ki te kore tēnei e nui ki a koe, ā, e pai ana koe ki a koe hononga wairua, ngā pōrearea me ērā atu mea katoa, ka taea e koe te wareware i tēnei hapa ka neke whakamua. 

24. Te whanaungatanga 

Mā te oranga moepuku hauora, auau hoki ka taea te whakarite, te whakakore rānei i tō hononga. Mena he raruraru kei roto i tēnei wāhanga, he nui ake rānei ngā hiahia o tētahi tangata i tētahi atu, tera pea ka taea e te kaunihera te āwhina. 

25. Te noho hei tangata mahi pukumahi 

Ki te mea ko koe te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata pukumahi Ki te kore e taea te wehewehe i te kāinga me te tari, kua tae ki te wā ki te kōrero. Ko te tangata e pā ana ki ngā kaupapa matua, me ōna whakaaro he mea nui mō te wā roa. 

Me pēhea te whakatau i ngā hapa i roto i te whanaungatanga? 

Kei te hiahia koe kia nui ake te whakaae ki ngā ngoikoretanga o tō whanaungatanga? Anei ētahi whakaaro rongonui hei āwhina i a koe ki te arotake anō me te whakaaro anō mēnā me wareware, me mahi rānei ēnei ngoikoretanga, me waiho rānei hei take mō tō wehenga atu.

1. Kia mārama ki te whānuitanga o ngā hapa 

Me pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha te tikanga o ēnei hapa i roto i taku whanaungatanga? He mea nui rawa atu rānei? Kei te hanga maunga noa iho ahau i te puke iti? I te tirohanga whānui, he koretake rānei taku riri mō ēnei hapa e kitea ana ki tō rātou tūranga i roto i tōku oranga o ia rā?" Ina tupu te riri, he ngawari ki te wareware i tēnei, nō reira hoki whakamuri ka arotake anō. 

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2. Tirohia koe anō 

Ki te noho koe ki raro, ka whakarārangi i ngā āhuatanga whakarihariha katoa e kore e pai ki tō hoa, e manawanui ana hoki, ka kite koe ko te whanaungatanga harikoa he whakaaetanga i waenganui i te tokorua e hiahia ana kia noho tahi ahakoa te aha. Hei tāpiri, ko te whakaata i a koe anō he mea whakaiti i a koe anō, nō reira ka akiaki atu ahau i a koe kia mahi i tēnā, kia heke iho i taua hoiho teitei kua ekehia e koe.

3. He aha tēnei e whakaohooho ana? 

He ariā kei reira e kī ana ko te mea e kinongia ana e koe i roto i ētahi atu koia tonu te mea e kinongia ana e koe i roto i a koe anō me tōu ake tinana. he iti te kiritauA te wā ka pōrangi koe i te āhua rerekē o tō hoa, pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha koe i tino pāngia ai e tēnei. Mā te titiro ki ngā tikanga tāpiri e tāpirihia ana e koe ki te āhua o tētahi atu ka tohu pea i te pūtake o tō pōuri, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakaoti i ngā take hohonu ake.

4. He aha ngā huarahi kē atu hei whiriwhiri māu? 

Ki te kore tō hoa rangatira e huri, he aha atu āu kōwhiringa? Kei te ako koe ki te whakaae ki te hapa? Kei te rite koe ki te wareware noa, ka neke atu? Ka taea e koe te mahi i tetahi mea hei whakaiti i tōna pānga ki tō whanonga? Kāore tēnei e whakaaetia, ā, kei te rite koe ki te hikoi? Hei tauira, kāore taku hoa rangatira i te wā tika, engari kua whakaae māua kia whakaritea e au ngā mea katoa me te hawhe haora tāpiri kia oti tonu ai ngā mea me te kore e mataku tetahi o māua. 

5. Arotahi ki ngā mea pai 

Ae, he tangata pōrearea pea ia, engari he atawhai, he ngākau aroha hoki. Ki te tere rawa tōna ngaro i tōna marino, engari he māmā pai ia, ā, he pai tana tiaki i te whānau, he pai pea kia huna ngā riri iti, kia waiho atu. ngā hapa whanaungatanga noaKōwhiria kia kite i te taha pai o tō hoa (me te tumanako ka pērā anō hoki rātou ki a koe). 

He akoranga kei roto i ēnei mea katoa. Ko tāku e ako ai ko tēnei – ki te rapu noa ahau i ngā hapa o taku whanaungatanga, ka nui atu ngā mea ka ngaro i ahau. Mā te whakarārangi i ngā hapa pea, pērā i te poto rawa o ia, te kore e ranea āna whiwhinga moni, te kore rānei e pai tana mahi, ka nui ake te taumahatanga ka kawea mai e au. Heoi anō, ka kitea anō hoki aku hapa i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kāore au e pai kia waiho ēnei hei kaupapa matua mō tētahi aroha hou. Ahakoa he āhua tangata te hiahia "ko te mea pai anake māku", he mea nui anō hoki kia mōhio he tino tika tātou katoa i roto i a tātou anō. Kei te tatari kia whakaaetia tātou mō te tangata me ā tātou mahi, i runga ake i ngā mea katoa. 

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10 Ngā Huarahi e Whakangaro ai i ngā Hononga mā te Whakaaro Nui

11 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakamutu i te Whakaaroaro ki tētahi

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.