Kia Mataara Ki Ēnei Tohu 12 Kua Rite Ia Ki Te Whakaae

Ki te mea kei te pōhēhē tonu koe mēnā kei te aroha tō hoa ki a koe, ahakoa kua roa kōrua e noho tahi ana, kāore koe i te mokemoke. He aroha, he manaaki rānei ia i tētahi wā, engari ka wehe atu i a koe mō te kore take tika i tētahi wā? Nā tēnei whanonga pōhēhē kei te whakaaro koe mēnā kei te noho tahi kōrua, ā, he aha hoki? Tērā pea ka noho pōuri koe nā te mea kāore anō tō hoa tāne kia whakaatu i tētahi tohu ka piri ia ki a ia i te mutunga, ā, kei te āwangawanga koe kei te hiahia tonu ia ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu wāhine.

E kōrero mai ana a Erica, he kaipānui 27-tau te pakeke nō Phoenix, ki a mātou, "Me pēhea taku mōhio kua rite taku hoa tāne ki te here i a ia ki ahau? I ētahi wā, ka kite ahau i ngā tohu ka herea e ia te whanaungatanga, ā, i ētahi wā, ka rongo ahau kei te aroha ia ki tētahi atu." Kei te puta mai ēnei āwangawanga i roto i tō hinengaro? Ki te kore koe e taea te pānui i ngā whanonga o tō hoa tāne, kei konei mātou me ngā whakautu e hiahiatia ana e koe.

12 Ngā Tohu Ka Whakaae Ia Ā Muri Ake Nei

Nō reira, kua noho tahi kōrua ko tēnei tāne mō ētahi marama, tau rānei, ā, he tino pai ia ki a koe. He rite tonu ki tētahi pakiwaitara. Kei reira ia hei tautoko i a koe i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana koe ki a ia, e tiaki ana i a koe, e kawe mai ana i ētahi hupa ina mate koe, ā, e whakarongo ana ki a koe ina pōuri koe. Heoi anō, kotahi te raruraru iti. Pērā i te nuinga o ngā tāne, ka māharahara hoki ia, ka wehe atu rānei i a koe ina tae mai ki te kōrero, ki te whakaaro rānei mō te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pumau. Kei te whakaaro koe mēnā e hiahia ana ia ki te whakaipoipo i a koe anake.

Ki te kore koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga anō-anō-anō, me mōhio koe mēnā he tino aroha tō hoa ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ki te kawe i ngā mea ki mua. Nō reira, he aha ngā tohu e piripono ana ia ki a koe? He aha te mea e akiaki ana i te tāne kia piripono, kia hinga hoki ki te aroha? E kī ana ētahi ka piripono tonu te tāne e aroha ana ina kitea e ia tētahi wahine ka taea e ia te whakawhirinaki, ā, e aroha nui ana ki a ia. Engari he mea whakamataku te piripono mō te nuinga o te tangata i ēnei rā. He maha ngā take e whakaroa ai ia ki te whakapau kaha.

Ā, i te nuinga o te wā, ka roa pea te wā ki te whakatū i tētahi whanaungatanga mō te wā roa. Mena kei te whakaroa, kei te pōrearea rānei koe i tēnei āhua o te kore mōhio ki tō tūnga, me whakangāwari tātou i tō hinengaro. Anei ngā tohu 12 ka tino piripono ia ki a koe:

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o tētahi Hononga Paitini

1. He mea nui ki a ia te noho tahi me koe

Ki te tino aroha tō hoa ki a koe, ā, e rite ana ki te whakapau kaha, ka waiho koe hei kaupapa matua māna, ā, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu whai hua e whakaatu ana kei te hiahia te tāne ki te whakapau kaha ki a koe mō te wā roa. Ka hiahia ia ki te noho tahi me koe, me te whakapau i te wā e taea ana e ia ki a koe. Ka whai whakaaro ia, ka whai i ngā mahere, ā, ka whai wā mōu ahakoa he pukumahi tana kaupapa. Ka waiho koe hei wāhanga nui o tōna ao, ka whai wā mōu, ā, ka noho hei hoa mōu i ngā wā katoa e hiahiatia ana e koe.

Ka whakaatu ia i tōna aroha me tōna ngākau aroha ki a koe mā roto i ngā mahi iti engari motuhake – te hoko i ō putiputi tino pai, te tunu i tāu kai tino pai, te tiaki i a koe ina mate koe, te tuhi rānei i ō mea e pai ana ki a koe me ō mea e kore e pai ki a koe. Ka whakapau kaha ia ki te mōhio ki a koe, ka keri i tētahi wāhi mōna ake i roto i tō ngākau. Ka ngana ia ki te hanga i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto ki a koe, kaua ki te whakaatu i ana koha utu nui, i ana taonga rānei.

2. Ngā tohu ka tutuki i a ia ā tōna wā — E aro ana ia ki ō hiahia, ki ō hiahia, me ō whāinga

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui e hiahia ana ia ki te piripono ki a koe. Ina aroha te tāne, ā, e tino manaaki ana ki a koe, ka aro nui ia ki ō moemoeā me ō hiahia, ō hiahia me ō hiahia. Ki te pātai koe ki ō hoa "Kei te piripono ia ki ahau?", whakaarohia te nui o tana whakapau kaha ki te mōhio ki a koe.

Ina tino hiahia ia ki a koe mō te wā roa, ka āta whakarongo ia ki ō raruraru me ō āwangawanga, ā, ka manawanui, ka tautoko hoki i ngā wā uaua. Ka meinga koe e ia kia noho ngāwari, kia whakapuaki hoki i ō kare ā-roto ki a ia, ā, ka noho tonu ki tō taha, ka hoatu he pakihiwi hei okiokinga māu.

3. He pono ia, ā, e pupuri ana i ana kupu whakaari

Ka oati rānei ia? Tērā pea mēnā kua mōhio koe he tangata ia e taea te whakawhirinaki atu, nā te mea ko tētahi o ngā tohu ka oati ia ki a koe ko tana pono ki te pupuri i ana kupu whakaari ki a koe. He tangata pono ia, ā, e kore e ngaro atu i a koe i ngā wā e hiahiatia ana. He tohu nui tēnei he tangata tino pono ia.

E kore ia e waiho i a koe e iri ana mēnā kei roto koe i te raruraru. E kore ia e whakakore i ngā mahere i te meneti whakamutunga, e kore hoki e tatari i a koe. Kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakararuraru i a koe nā te mea e aroha pono ana ia ki a koe ā, tērā pea kua rite noa ki te whakapau kaha. He mea nui koe ki a ia, ā, ka whakapau kaha ia ki te noho ki tō taha i ngā wā katoa e hiahiatia ana ia e koe.

4. He pono tana kōrero ki a koe mō ōna kare ā-roto

Ki te pono te tangata ki a koe, kia mōhio koe koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino nui e hiahia ana ia ki te whakapau kaha, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi tohunga whanaungatanga hei kōrero atu i tēnei ki a koe. He uaua ki te nuinga o ngā tāne te pono mō ō rātou kare ā-roto, ā, he maha ngā wā ka puta he raruraru i roto i te whanaungatanga. Engari ki te ngana tō tangata ki te kōrero ki a koe mō ngā mea uaua o roto, kia mōhio koe kei te pai ia ki a koe, ā, kei te noho haumaru ia ki a koe. E whakawhirinaki ana ia ki a koe kāore koe e whakarērea i a ia i muri i tana kitenga i a ia i tōna wā tino pouri. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino noa e piripono ana ia ki a koe.

Waihoki, ki te ngoikore te tangata i a koe, ko te tikanga kāore ia e mataku ki te pono ki a koe. Nō reira, ka whakapuaki pea ia i ngā mea katoa, ka kōrero mai he aha ia i mataku ai ki te here. Ka whakapau kaha ia ki te whakatutuki i ana kupu. Kāore he teka. Inaa, ki te tino aroha tō hoa ki a koe, ka uaua ki a ia te teka ki a koe. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnei ka tino herea ia ki a koe i tētahi wā. Whakarongo noa ki ana mataku, kaua e whakahē i a ia. Kia whakapono kei te whakaaro ia ki tētahi heke mai me koe.

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5. E pai ana ia ki te kōrero mō te heke mai

Mena he pono tēnei, he mea noa iho te wā ka tono atu ia kia whai hononga nui rāua. Tērā pea ka kite koe i tāu hoa tāne e whakamahi ana i te maha o ngā kupu "mātou" i roto i āna kōrero, e tīmata ana, e whai wāhi ana rānei ki ngā kōrero mō te heke mai, mō te marena me ngā tamariki rānei. Ko tēnei hiahia ki te kōrero mō te heke mai tētahi o ngā tohu nui e whakaatu ana kei te pirangi ia ki te kōrero mō te wā roa.

Ki te kore ia e kite i te pūmanawa o te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore hoki i te tino pai ki a koe, ka āwangawanga ia ki te kōrero uaua ki a koe. Whakapono mai ki a mātou, ki te mea kāore te tāne i te rite ki te whakapau kaha, kāore ia e kōrero roa ki a koe. Koia koe me tūpato ki ngā kōrero matapōkere pēnei. Ko reira koe ka mōhio ai kāore ia e wehi i te whakapau kaha.

6. Ngā tohu ka mahi ia i te mutunga — Ka whakamōhio ia i a koe ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau

Ka piripono ia, kāore rānei? Āe, mēnā kua whakaurua koe e ia ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau, he tohu pai tēnā kua rite ia ki te noho motuhake ki a koe. Nā te mea, he nui te mahi a te tangata hei whakauru i tētahi e arohaina ana e ia ki ōna hoa, ki tōna whānau, me tōna hunga o roto.

Ki te whakaatu ia i a koe hei hoa rangatira māna, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui rawa atu, tino kitea hoki e hiahia ana ia ki te piripono. Ka hiahia ia kia mōhio ōna whanaunga ki a koe. E kite ana ia i tētahi heke mai me koe, ā, e hiahia ana ia kia mōhio te katoa kei te piripono ia ki a koe mō ake tonu atu, ahakoa kāore anō ia kia kōrero i roto i ngā kupu maha.

7. Ka tūtaki ia ki tō whānau me ō hoa

Ina aroha tō hoa ki a koe, kāore ia e mataku ki te tūtaki ki ō hoa me tō whānau, ā, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu mārama kua rite ia ki te whai hononga tūturu ki a koe. Ka whakapau kaha ia ki te:

• Kia mōhio ki a rātou
• Kia tau te noho tahi me rātou
• Whakamīharohia rātou
• Ā, ka kitea he tangata e pai ana ki a koe

Koinei tana huarahi hei whakaatu i tōna aroha ki a koe. Kāore koe e mōhio, tera pea kei te noho tahi tonu ia me rātou i ia wā, i ia wā. Mena kei te mahi ia i ēnei mea katoa, kia mōhio koe koinei tētahi o ngā tohu e piripono ana ia ki a koe. He aha te tikanga o tēnei mōna, e pātai ana pea koe?

• E whakaatu ana tēnei e hiahia ana ia kia noho tahi mō te wā roa, ehara i te mea ko koe anake engari ko koe anō hoki hei wāhanga o tō porowhita whānui.
• E hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio atu mōu, ā, ko tētahi wāhanga nui o tēnā ko te mōhio ki te hunga e tino nui ana ki a koe.
• E whakaatu ana tēnei e hiahia ana ia kia noho hei wāhanga nui o tō oranga
• E hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio he aha te mea e hanga ana i a koe hei tangata ko koe tonu

8. Ngā tohu e piripono ana ia ki a koe: Ka whakapuaki ia i ana moemoeā ki a koe

Ka whakapau kaha rānei ia ki te noho ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga haumaru ki a koe? Ki te kōrero ia i ana moemoeā, i ana hiahia, me ētahi atu mea nui ki a koe, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnei kua rite ia ki te whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga. Kāore ētahi atu tāne e kōrero noa mō ō rātou wawata me ngā wheako o te ao ki te katoa. Ki a rātou, he mea whaiaro rawa, he mea tairongo rawa hoki hei whakapuaki, ā, ki te kōrero ia ki a koe mō taua mea, tera pea e whakaaro ana ia he pai koe hei wahine māna i tēnei wā.

Ki te kōrero ia mō āna whāinga whanaketanga whaiaro, mō ngā taipitopito rānei mō ōna whanaungatanga o mua ki a koe, ko te tikanga kei te whakawhirinaki ia ki a koe, ā, kei te noho tahi me koe. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino pono ka kitea e ia. Kāore ia e mataku kei ngoikore ia i a koe, ā, kāore hoki e manukanuka nui ki te whakaatu i tōna wairua toa. Inaa, e hiahia ana ia kia rongo koe he mea nui koe i roto i tōna ao.

9. Kei te noho tonu ia ki te whakapā atu

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino huna e hiahia ana ia ki te whai whakaaro nui ki a koe. He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kia tupu ai te whanaungatanga. Ki te tino aroha tō hoa ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana hoki ki te whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga, ka whakapau kaha ia ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki a koe i ia wā, i ia wā. Ki te whakautu tonu ia i ō waea, ā, ka whakautu wawe tonu i ō karere, i roto rānei i ētahi meneti, he tohu tēnā kei te tino hiahia ia ki a koe, ā, kei te tino hiahia ia ki tō kōrua heke mai.

He mea noa, he mea hauora hoki te tuku karere whakaipoipo, whakaipoipo rānei i te roanga o te rā, he waea atu rānei, he karere "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" me "Ngaro ana ahau i a koe" i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore tō hoa tāne e ngenge ki te kōrero ki a koe, ā, kei te wātea tonu ia ki te noho tahi me koe, he tohu tēnā e hiahia ana ia ki te piripono ki a koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ina mōhio koe kua tae ki te wā hei wehe

10. E whakanuia ana e ia ō whakaaro me ō whakaaro

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino nui o tōna pono ki a koe, ko tōna aro nui ki ō whakaaro, ki ō kōrero rānei. E whakanuia ana e ia ō tirohanga, ō whakaaro, me ō whiringa.

• E rapu ana ia i tō whakaaro mō ngā take nui e pā ana ki tōna ao
• E hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio ki ō whakaaro i mua i tana whakatau
• Ka aro ia ki tāu e kōrero ai, ā, ka maumahara ki tēnā
• Ka ako ia i a koe, ā, he maha ngā wā ka kī atu ia ki a koe

11. He nui ake tana kawenga ki a koe

Kia mahara koe i mua, i tatari koe mō tana whakautu i te rā katoa me te manawa pūmau? Ā, ka tukuna noa e ia he karere hoha ki a koe i waenganui pō hei tīmata kōrero, me te kore e kī atu kei hea ia i te rā katoa. Ka waiho koe me te pouri. Ka hiahia koe ki te pātai ki a ia he aha ia i kore ai e waea mai ki a koe i te rā katoa, engari kāore i taea e koe nā te mea kāore kōrua i tino tata. Ae, koinei te nuinga o te wā ko te wāhanga tuatahi o te tūāhuatanga te wā e aroha ana ētahi tāngata tokorua, engari kāore i tino piripono tetahi ki tetahi.

Āe, kua rerekē ngā mea. Mena kei te kai tahi ia me āna hoa mahi, ka whakamōhio atu ia ki a koe ka haere ia ki waho mō te pō, ā, kaua koe e tatari mō tana waea mai. Kātahi anō ka noho ko koe anake te tangata e mōhio tonu ana kei hea ia, he aha tāna e mahi ana, me te take kāore pea ia e kōrero ana ki a koe. He tohu nui tēnei kua rite te tangata ki te haere tahi me koe, ā, e hiahia ana kia noho koe hei hoa rangatira māna.

12. Kāore he pana me te tō

Kua memeha haere te āwangawanga i pā ki a koe mō te nui o te aroha o tēnei tangata ki a koe. Ahakoa kāore koe i te tino mōhio mēnā e hiahia ana ia ki te piripono ki a koe, kei te noho marino tonu koe i te mōhio e aroha ana ia ki a koe me te ngākau pono. Kāore ia e kata mō te tūtaki ki ētahi atu tāngata, kāore ia e kōrero mō tana hoa o mua i ngā wā katoa, ā, e pai ana ki a ia te noho tahi me koe i ngā wā katoa e wātea ana.

Ko te pana me te kukume i pā ki a koe i te ata i muri i te parakuihi pai ki a ia, engari i te kitenga atu i tētahi kōtiro e kōrero ana i tētahi mea whakakatakata i raro i tētahi o āna pikitia, kāore koe e māharahara ana i ēnei rā. Kāore ia e kata mō tō tūtakitanga ki ētahi atu tāne, he mea i mahia e ia i mua hei whakaatu kāore ia i māharahara. Ahakoa kāore anō ia kia kōrero ā-waha mō te noho tahi me koe, he rite tonu ki te mea kua piripono kōrua i roto i ngā huarahi ngaro. Tērā pea ka whai kōrero anō mō ​​taua mea.

Me pēhea te whakatau a te tāne ki te here? Anei ā mātou whakaaro whakamutunga mō ngā tāne me te wā e whakaaro ana rātou ki te here ki a koe. Ehara i te mea uaua rawa atu.

• Ki te aroha nui tō hoa tāne ki a koe, ka mahia e ia ngā mea katoa hei whakaatu i tēnā e aroha ana ia ki a koe mā roto i tana reo tinanaE whakaatu ana ia ko koe anake tana e hiahia ana mā roto i ana whanonga me ana mahi.
• Ki te hē te āhua, ki te roa rānei te whawhai a kōrua i ēnei rā, ka whakapau kaha ia ki te whakamārama i ngā māramatanga me te whakatau i te raruraru.
• He rerekē ngā kare ā-roto o ngā tāne i ngā kare ā-roto o ngā wāhine. Me whai wā rātou. Kāore pea rātou e tino tuwhera ki tēnei mea pērā i ngā wāhine, engari ehara i te mea ka iti iho tō rātou aroha ki a koe.
• Me manawanui koe, ā, kia tae rā anō ki taua wā, me aroha nui ki a koe anō kia kore ai koe e tino māharahara ki tētahi o aua mea.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.