15 Ngā Mea Me Mōhio Koe Mō Te Whakaipoipo I Te Tāne Kua Marenatia

I a koe e tamariki ana, i tō whakaaro mō te heke mai, kāore pea koe i whakaaro ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ā, kāore e harikoa ki tana marena, tika? Pērā i te nuinga o te tangata, ko tāu mahere oranga pea he whanaungatanga hauora, whai kiko me tētahi e wātea ana, e piripono ana ki a koe. Engari he onge te ao i te pakiwaitara e whakaarohia ana e tātou. Ā, he maha ngā wā ka puta mai ngā whanaungatanga i roto i ngā momo āhua uaua katoa. 

Ko te pātai, he aha te mahi i muri mai? Me pēhea te haere tahi me te tāne kua mārena? Me pēhea te whakarite kia kore te whanaungatanga e puta ki tō aroaro? Mena kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te angitu o te whakaipoipo i te tāne kua mārena, ka tukuna atu e mātou ētahi huarahi hei whakaipoipo i te tāne kua mārena me te kore e whara.

Kaiako oranga ngākau me te aroātea Pooja Priyamvada (he tohunga ki te Āwhina Tuatahi mō te Hauora Hinengaro me te Hauora Hinengaro mai i te Kura Hauora Tūmatanui o Johns Hopkins Bloomberg me te Whare Wānanga o Sydney), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena, te wehenga, te wehenga, te pouri, me te mate, e tuku ana hoki i ngā tirohanga ki te hinengaro o te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia.

He aha ngā wāhine e kukumea ai e ngā tāne kua mārenatia?

He mea whakamiharo, a ako kua whakamātauhia he nui ake te ātaahua o ngā tāne kua mārena ki ngā wāhine i ngā tāne takakau, ā, e 90% o ngā kaiwhakautu i whakaae kei te hiahia rātou ki ngā tāne i whakaarohia he 'kua tangohia', ā, e 59% anake i whakaatu i te hiahia ki te whai i ngā tāne i whakaarohia he takakau. Nō reira, he aha te mea kei roto i ngā tāne kua mārena e tino kukume ana i ngā wāhine takakau (kua mārena rānei)? Ko tō rātou mana, ko tō rātou āhua rānei? Ko tō rātou maia?

A ako mō te whiriwhiri hoa tangata me te pānga o te mowhiti marena e kī ana, "Ka piki ake te tūponotanga o te wahine ki te whiriwhiri i tētahi tāne mēnā kua whiriwhiria kētia ia e ētahi atu wahine. Nō nā tata nei kua whakaarohia ko te tārua i te whiriwhiri hoa he āhuatanga nui pea o te whiriwhiri hoa tangata." He aha ngā mea e whakaoho ana i tēnei āhua hopu hoa? Anei ētahi take e kiia ai he ātaahua ake ngā tāne kua moe i ō rātou hoa takakau: 

• Ko te whakaaro pohehe he pai ake rātou i ngā tāne takakau: He maha ngā wā, ko ngā wāhine kua hoha ki ngā tāne takakau koretake i roto i te mākete whakaipoipo me te ahurea hononga kitea he ātaahua ake ngā tāne kua moe tāne, nā te mea kua whakamātauhia tō rātou kaha ki te whakapau kaha 
• He haumaru ā rātou pūtea: E whakaarohia ana he nui ake te haumaru o te taha pūtea o ngā tāne kua moe tāne i ngā tāne takakau, nā te mea e tautoko ana rātou i ō rātou whānau (wahine me ā rātou tamariki).
• Te kukume a te hua rāhui: E whakaponohia ana ko te mea kāore e taea te whakatutuki i te tangata, ka nui ake tōna ataahua, ā, ka whai wāhi tēnei ki te kukume i ngā tāne kua moe tāne. 
• Hei whakanui i te ngākau nui: He maha ngā wāhine e takaro ana ki ngā tāne kua moe tāne kia kite ai rātou me pēhea tā rātou whakautu, kia pai ai hoki ō rātou whakaaro mō rātou anō mēnā ka takaro anō rātou. Kāore pea tēnei e pā ana ki tō rātou hiahia ki te whai i aua tāne, engari he mea whakanui noa iho pea i te whakapehapeha.
• Hei whakahihiri noa iho: Ko te harikoa o te moe tahi me te tāne kua mārenatia tētahi atu take e akiaki ana i te tini o ngā wāhine ki te whai i a rātou.

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Nā te mea kua mārama tātou ki ngā āhuatanga e kukume ana i ngā wāhine ki ngā tāne kua mārenatia, e mōhio ana tātou he tino tūponotanga te taka ki tētahi. Ka tīmata koe ki te pai ki te kōrero ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ki te noho tahi, ahakoa i te mahi, i te noho tahi rānei hei hoa, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, kua ngaro tō hiahia ki a ia. Me aha koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga pēnei? Kia kitea tātou.  

Te Whakaipoipo i tētahi Tāne Kua Mārenatia – 15 Ngā Mea Hei Mōhio

Nō reira, kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ā, kāore e taea e koe te kite i a koe anō me tētahi atu engari ko ia anake. Ahakoa kua mārenatia ia, ā, kua whānau kē ia, kāore e whakararuraru i a koe, e aukati rānei i a koe kei noho tahi me ia. Kei te aroha koe, kei te miharo, kei te aroha nui. Engari tera pea he raruraru. Ahakoa hinga i roto i te aroha Ki te kore e tutuki i runga i te mahere, ka taea e koe te ngana ki te tiaki i a koe kei tukinotia.

Haunga tēnā, ahakoa te nui o tō aroha, he pai ake te pupuri i ō tumanakohanga kia pono. Me titiro koe ki te ao tūturu, kaua ki ngā karu pōuri. I roto i te poto, ko te whakaaro nui te mea nui ki te angitu o te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia. Ā, hei āwhina i a koe kia taea ai tēnā, anei ngā mea 15 me mōhio koe ina whakaipoipo ana koe i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia: 

1. E kore rawa koe e waiho hei kaupapa matua māna 

Ahakoa kei roto koe i tētahi hononga tuku karere kuputuhi me tētahi tāne kua tangohia te mārenatanga, kei reira tonu kōrua e hono ana i runga ipurangi, e whakapuaki ana i ngā kōrero katoa ki a kōrua, he hononga moepuku nui rānei ki a ia, kia mōhio koe kāore pea koe e waiho hei kaupapa matua māna. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe te whakaaro he kōwhiringa koe ki tō "hoa"He uaua te aroha ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia nā te mea: 

• Ka momotu ia i tāu waea, ka mutu rānei tana tuku karere ina tomo mai tana wahine ki roto i te rūma. 
• Ka whakakorea e ia tō tono mēnā e hiahia ana ia kia noho tahi rāua
• Tērā pea ka āraia koe ki te waea atu/te tuku karere kuputuhi i ētahi hāora o te rā 
• Tērā pea ka tukuna koe e ia ki te rārangi "hoapā kua āraia" hei tiaki i a koe anō. 
• Kāore e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a ia hei hoa mōu ahakoa i te wā e tino hiahiatia ana ia e koe
• Ko tōna aroaro i roto i tō koiora e whakawhirinaki ana ki ngā āhuatanga o tōna kāinga.

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2. Ka taea e te whanaungatanga te ki tonu i te kore haumaru 

Ahakoa te hohonu o tō aroha, ko te mea ehara ia i a koe katoa, ā, kei te tinihanga ia i tana hoa rangatira kia noho tahi māua, tera pea ka mau tonu i roto i tō hinengaro. Ahakoa i roto i ngā wā tino harikoa o te noho tahi, ka noho tonu te āwangawanga me te manukanuka. te kore pumau o te whanaungatanga ka taea e tēnā te whakaoho i ngā feaa me ngā pātai, pēnei i: 

• A, mehemea he wahine kē atu kei roto i tōna ao? 
• A, mehemea kei te aroha tonu ia ki tana wahine? 
• A, mehemea kei te whakamahia ahau e ia mō te moepuku? 
• A, mehemea kei te harikoa ia i roto i tana marena, ā, kei te noho tahi māua mō te whakahihiri noa iho? 
• Ka whai wā anō tāua ki te noho tahi?

3. He wheako mokemoke pea 

He tino mokemoke te noho i roto i tētahi hononga ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia. Nā te mea:

• Kāore e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a ia hei hoa mōu ina hiahia koe, ina hiahia rānei koe kia noho tahi ia me koe
• Ko te tūponotanga ka aro tō kōrua oranga whakaipoipo ki tōna wātea, ā, ka whakawhirinaki ō mahere katoa ki te āheinga o ia ki te wehe atu i te kāinga, ki te whai wā rānei ki te noho tahi me koe me te kore e whakapae.
• Kāore pea koe e whai mana ki te whakapā atu ki a ia i ngā wā katoa e pai ana ki a koe, engari ka taea e ia. Ka taea e tēnei te whakararuraru te āhua nei he whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki tahi ā, he taha-rua 
• I te mea kei te taha koe o tētahi tāne e hiahia ana kia huna te whanaungatanga mō ngā take mārama, kāore pea koe e taea te kōrero ki ō hoa me ō whanaunga mō taua mea.

He tino mamae te pupuri i aua wehi me aua āwangawanga katoa, me te whakaari kei te haere tonu te ao pērā i ngā wā katoa. 

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4. Ehara i te mea whakaaro nui te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi heke mai me ia 

I mua i tō whakatata rawa atu ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, tirohia te āhua o tēnei whārite. He hononga taikaha ā, ko te harikoa o te whakamātau i te hua rāhui, tera pea i whai wāhi ki te whakakotahi i a kōrua. E mea ana a Brenda, he kaiwhakahaere pūmanawa i whakarērea e tētahi tāne kua mārenatia e ia, "Ahakoa te nui o tō kōrua aroha tetahi ki tetahi, ehara i te mea ngāwari te wawahi i te marena me te wawahi i te whānau. Ina tae mai te pēhanga, ka huri te pauna ki te pai o te hoa rangatira. Nō reira, kaua e tomo ki tēnei whanaungatanga me te tumanako ka harikoa ake ake."

5. Ahakoa he āmua tōu, he uaua pea

Ahakoa ka toa tō aroha, ā, ka whakarērea e te tāne tō kōrua wahine tana wahine mōu, kāore e taea e kōrua te tumanako ka pai tō kōrua oranga tahi. Koinei te take:

• Tērā pea ka pā te whakarere ki tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa rangatira
• Tērā pea kāore rawa e taea e kōrua te whakawhirinaki tetahi ki tetahi, nā te mea mēnā i taea e ia te tinihanga i te wā kotahi, he aha te mea e aukati ana i a ia ki te mahi anō? 
• Ka pā anō hoki te whakatau a te hapori ki a koe
• He wero te tū hei whaea whāngai mēnā he tamariki kei roto (tērā pea ka kino ki a koe mō te wawahi i te marena o ō rātou mātua).
• Mā te pakanga mō te whakaae mai i a ia hei wahine māna i roto i ana hoa me tōna whānau ka ngaro tō whakaaro pai.

6. Kaua e whakawhirinaki matapo ki a ia 

Ae, he wāhanga nui te whakawhirinaki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Heoi, ina haere tahi kōrua me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, me tino aro koe ki ana kōrero, ki ana mahi rānei. Ahakoa mō te āhua o tana marena, mō te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga, mō āna kereme roa rānei e aroha pōuri ana ki a koe, kaua e whakawhirinaki pōuri ki a ia, kei tūpono koe ki te tinihangatia. 

Waihoki, kia tūpato ki te tohatoha i ngā whakaahua me ngā ataata piripono, ki te tuku karere kuputuhi rānei ki tō hoa moepuku. Kāore koe e hiahia kia taka ki tētahi āhuatanga ka whakamahia ēnei e tō hoa moepuku hei akiaki i a koe ki te haere tonu i te moepuku me te kore e hoatu ki a koe te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe mai i te whanaungatanga. Mā te mōhio ki ngā hua o te moepuku me te tāne kua mārenatia ka āwhina nui i a koe ki te tiaki i a koe anō.

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7. Kia rite mō te whakawakanga 

He mea whakahihiri, he mea whakahihiri hoki te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, mena ka hunaia. Heoi anō, he ara anō pea ēnei hara ka puta mai, ā, ki te puta mai, me rite koe ki te aro atu ki ngā whakahē me ngā whakahē maha, ehara i te mea mai i te hunga i roto i tōna ao anake, engari mai i ō whanaunga hoki. Mai i te kiia he kaiwhakangaro kāinga ki te tukinotia pērā i te tangata kua peia, ka taea e te riri te puta ki roto. ngā pānga hinengaro o te noho hei wahine kē ka taea e tēnā te whakaiti i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, ā, ka whara hoki ō kare ā-roto.

8. Tērā pea ka whakama koe mō te whakangaro i tōna whānau

Ehara i te mea ko tō ake oranga anake te mea ka pāngia e tō whakatau ki te haere tahi me te tāne kua mārenatia. Ka pāngia anō hoki tōna whānau. Ā, tera pea ka whakama koe mō tō wāhi ki roto. Anei te take:

• I ngā wā katoa e noho tahi ana kōrua, tērā pea kāore e taea e kōrua te whakarērea te whakaaro kei reira tētahi atu wahine kua oatitia e tēnei tāne tōna aroha me tōna pono ki a ia.
• Mena he tamariki kei roto, ka taimaha ake te taumahatanga o te pakaru o te whānau.

"Ko te whānau me te marena ngā wāhanga tino nui o te oranga o te tangata, ā, e tuku ana i tētahi wairua haumaru e kore e taea te whakataurite. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho hei tangata e arai ana i tēnā," te kī a Pooja. 

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9. Kāore koe e mōhio ki te pono mō tana marena 

Kua rongo koe i a ia e kōrero ana i ētahi o ngā kōrero kua whakahuatia i raro nei? Mena āe, e mōhio ana koe kei te kōrero pono ia? Kia tūpato mēnā ka mea ia:

• "Kua wehe kē māua ko taku wahine i ngā tau kua pahure ake nei."
• "Kua mauheretia ahau i roto i tētahi marena pouri mō te whakaaro ki ngā tamariki."
• "Kei te aroha tonu ahau ki taku wahine, engari kua kore ahau e aroha ki a ia i ēnei rā." 
• "Kāore ia e mārama mai ki ahau pērā i a koe." 

Ko te wahine e uru ana ki tētahi hononga ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ka hē tonu ia ki te whakaae noa ki ēnei kōrero tangi, ahakoa he rerekē te whakaaro. Ko te mea pai hei mahi i roto i ēnei āhuatanga ko te whakamahara i a koe anō koinei te kōrero tawhito rawa atu i roto i te ao. pukapuka tākaro a te hunga tinihanga. 

He pai rawa atu pea te āhua o tana marena i tana i whakaaro ai. Ahakoa kāore, ehara i te mea ko tana wahine anake te tangata hei whakapae mōna. Whakamahia tō whakaaro nui ki te aromatawai i te pono o ana kōrero, kaua hoki e whakawhirinaki noa ki a ia. Waihoki, ki te kore ia e mārama ki tana whanaungatanga ki tana wahine, ki ōna whakaaro rānei mō te heke mai o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, me whakaaro he tohu kino tēnei. 

10. Kāore pea ia e whakarērea tana wahine 

I te aroha ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, kaua e pupuri ki he tumanakohanga kore mō te heke mai o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ahakoa te kaha o tana oati ki te hanga i tētahi oranga tahi me koe, ahakoa tana kī mai kei te tino piripono ia ki a koe, me whakaaro nui ki ngā mea katoa. Ko te mea pono, he oranga katoa tōna me tana wahine — ngā whānau kua honoa, ngā porowhita pāpori, me ngā pūtea, me ngā tamariki me te whare — ā, kāore pea ia e maka atu i ngā mea katoa mō tētahi mahi moepuku. 

E ai ki rangahau, e 5% noa iho o te hunga tinihanga ka whakarērea ā rātou hoa rangatira mō ā rātou hoa moepuku. Koinei te āhua pōuri o te moepuku me te tāne kua mārenatia. Nō reira, kia tūpato, kia whakaaroaro hoki i mua i te tino piripono ki te tāne kua mārenatia. 

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11. Ka pā kino pea te whanaungatanga ki tō hauora hinengaro 

Ka pā kino te aroha ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia ki tō oranga ngākau me tō hauora hinengaro. Anei ngā take:

• Kua moe ia, ā, kua piri kē ki tētahi atu 
• Ka maka atu koe e ia ki tahaki ina hiahiatia/e hiahiatia ana ia e tana wahine, e tana whānau rānei
• He uaua ki te whakamanawanui i te whakama pāpori o te noho hei wahine kē
• Ka ngaro tō hinengaro pai i ngā kare ā-roto o te kore haumaru me te hae ka pā ki a koe
• He uaua ki te whakatau i te korekore o te kore e taea te whakapuaki i tō whanaungatanga
• He tino kino te noho mokemoke o te noho takakau i te wā e haere tahi ana koe me te tāne kua mārenatia.

Ka tere rawa te whakararuraru. Ki te tino piripono koe, ki te tino uru rānei koe ki roto, ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga kino katoa te whakaoho i ngā raruraru pēnei i te manukanuka me te pouri, me te waiho anō hoki i a koe kia raru ki he iti te kiritau. 

12. Me pono koe ki a koe anō 

Kāore he ture kua tautuhia mō te moe tahi me te tāne kua mārenatia, te whai hononga aroha rānei ki tētahi. Kāore he aratohu, he mahere rānei hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i tēnei āhuatanga. Ko te mea pai hei tiaki i a koe ko te pono ki a koe anō i ngā wā katoa. Kaua e whakakahore i te tūturutanga o tō āhuatanga, kaua hoki e huna i te kanohi ki ngā mea e kitea ana. ngā haki whero i roto i tō whanaungatanga. 

Kia taea ai e koe te tiaki i a koe anō, me te aroha tonu ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia mō te roa e pai ana ki a kōrua (mēnā koinei te mea e tika ana ki a kōrua i tēnei wā), me pātai koe ki a koe anō i ētahi pātai uaua: 

• He aha te putanga pai rawa atu mō tēnei whanaungatanga? 
• He pēhea te tūponotanga ka taea e koe te whakatutuki?
• Kei te kite koe i a kōrua anō e noho tahi ana i te wā roa? 
• Kei te hiahia tonu koe ki ētahi atu tāne, kei te whakaaro rānei ia ko ia 'te mea tino pai'? 
• E whakaaro ana ia ko koe 'te mea tino pai'? 
• Kia pēhea te roa ka taea e koe te noho tonu hei hoa mahi mōna? 
• He aha te āhuatanga kino rawa atu i tēnei āhuatanga? He aha te tūponotanga ka tutuki? 
• Kei te pēhea tō rite ki te whakamutu i ngā mea mēnā e tika ana? 

Mā ngā whakautu ki ēnei pātai ka mārama koe me pēhea te whakatere i tēnei whanaungatanga me te tiaki i a koe anō me te whakawhāiti i ngā kino kare ā-roto e pā mai ana. 

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13. Kei roto pea ia i te mahi mō te taatai

Ahakoa kei te whakahē koe, he pono tonu, he maha ngā tāne kua moe tāne e whakaipoipo ana ki ngā wāhine takakau, ehara i te mea mō te whakamarie i te ngākau, engari mō te hiahia moepuku. Ae, e mōhio ana tātou katoa nā te whanaketanga o te ao i whakarite ngā tāne kia horahia ō rātou purapura, ā, nā tēnā i hiahia ai rātou ki te whakamātau me te tini o ngā wāhine. 

I te mutunga iho, i whakaipoipo tētahi o ōku hoa, a Lisa, ki tētahi tāne kua roa e marena ana. I te mutunga ka whakarērea ia e ia me te kī he pai ki a ia ngā wā piripono i noho tahi rāua, engari me noho tahi rāua ko tana wahine, nā te mea kua kitea he mate kino tōna. Ināianei, kāore a Lisa i te mōhio mēnā kei te teka ia mō tana wahine, engari i tino mōhio ia kāore ia i te teka mō te taha moepuku. Hei whakaora i a koe i tētahi āhuatanga rite, me whakaaroaro koe: he pai ake ki a koe te noho hei tangata e hiahia ana ki te moepuku i te aroha o te ora o tētahi atu? 

14. E kore rawa ia e aroha ki a koe

Ehara i te mea kāore ia e aro ana ki a koe, engari ki te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne, ā, he tamariki āna, kāore pea ia e aro ki a koe. Nā te mea ko tana hiahia aronganui kei te manaakihia pea ia e tana wahine me āna tamariki. Nō reira, whakaaetia te meka e kore rawa ia e aroha ki a koe. Tērā pea kei roto ia i tētahi hononga ki a koe nā te mea:

• Kua taupatupatu ia ki tana wahine mō tētahi wā poto
• Kāore ana hiahia moepuku e whakatutukihia ana 
• Kāore ia e tino maiohatia ana e tana wahine
• Me whakanui ake e ia tōna whakapehapeha tāne

Ā, kāore tetahi o aua mea e pā ana ki tōna aroha ki a koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ka roa rānei ngā whanaungatanga e whati ai te marena?

15. Kei te pai ia ki ngā āhuatanga o te mana

Anei ngā mea ka tupu ina piri tahi koe me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia:

• Kei te whakarite koe mō tētahi rā i te wā kua whakaritea, engari ka whakakorea e ia te rā te meneti whakamutunga e kī ana kāore tana wahine i te pai
• Kāore e taea e koe te waea atu ki a ia i ngā wā katoa, ā, ka kōrero noa ia ki a koe i runga i ana hiahia, nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia kia mōhio tana wahine mōu.
• Kaua e tukuna he karere kuputuhi ki a ia me te kore e tukuna he karere huna i te tuatahi, kia taea ai e ia te tuku tohu ki a koe kua mārama katoa.

Titiro mai, ahakoa ngā here katoa a tōna taha, e mārama ana ko ia te rangatira o te mana whakahaere. Kia mōhio koe kāore he wāhi mōu i roto i te whanaungatanga.

Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia?

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne. He nui ake ngā whakamātautau me ngā raruraru i te whakamānawa. Āe, i ētahi wā, kāore e taea e tātou te kite i te take, ā, ka oma wawe tātou ki ngā āhuatanga e mamae ai tātou. Ahakoa kua whakatūpatohia koe e ō hoa tata, e ō whanaunga rānei mō te ngā hua o te whanaungatanga ki te tāne kua marenatia, tera pea ka uaua ki a koe te whakahoki mai, te whakamutu rānei i ngā mea. 

Heoi, ahakoa te nui o tō aroha ki a ia, ko te mea pono kei te mau tonu ia, ā, he whanaungatanga tēnei e tū ai koe ki te mamae. "Me kimi huarahi koe kia kaua e tukua tēnei hononga, ahakoa te whakahihiri, te whai hua rānei o tēnei wā, kia horomia koe. Koinei te wāhi e uru mai ai ngā ture mō te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia," te kī a Pooja. Nā te mea kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, kaua e manukanuka. Anei ētahi ture mō te moe tahi me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, me te pupuri tonu i tō hinengaro pai:

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakahaere i te Tāne Kua Mārenatia e Whakataetae Ana Ki a Koe

1. Kia āta haere, kia whakatakotohia hoki ngā rohe

Ina tīmata koe ki te kōrero ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia i ia rā, i ia rā rānei, ki te tuku karere kuputuhi rānei, tera pea he uaua ki te wareware i te kaha o te hiahia moepuku e puta ake ana. "He tino whai hua te āta haere i tēnei wā. Ka hoatu he wā ki a koe kia pai ake ai tō mōhio ki a ia," te tohutohu a Pooja. 

Ka wātea te wā ki a koe ki te whakatau mēnā he pono ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe, mēnā rānei kei te hoha noa ia i roto i tana marena, ā, kei te whakamahi i tētahi hononga ki a koe hei whakaohooho i te hiahia. Mō tēnā, me whakatakoto e koe ētahi rohe mārama, pēnei i: 

• Ahakoa he awhi noa iho, he kihi rānei, kaua e tukua kia whai wā ia ki te tumanako i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana i roto i tētahi āhua me te kore e hono atu ki a koe i te taumata kare ā-roto i te tuatahi.
• Me whakarite te ehara te whanaungatanga i te mea mo te taatai ​​anake 
• Ki te ngana ia ki te akiaki i tō whakaae, me whakaae mai, me kī atu kāore e whakaaetia. 
• Whakamāramahia ō tumanakohanga me ō rohe i te tīmatanga kia kore ai he wāhi mō te koretake

Ki te mea ko te moepuku anake tana e hiahia ana, me wehe atu koe i tēnei whanaungatanga i te wā e taea ai (ki te kore koe e hiahia ki tētahi hononga moepuku anake). Kia mōhio koe, ā tōna wā, ka iti ake te mamae mēnā ka mutu te whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore ō kōrua whāinga e ōrite ana, nā te mea rānei kua kite koe i ngā tohu whakatūpato. 

 Me kimi e koe he huarahi kia kore ai koe e tukua kia pau i tēnei hononga, ahakoa te whakahihiri, te whai hua rānei o tēnei wā.

– Pooja Priyamvada

2. Tirohia mēnā he hononga ā-ira tangata tō kōrua ko ia

Ko tētahi mea nui hei whakatau mēnā ko te whakatau tika māu ko te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne, me te mea rānei me haere tonu tō whanaungatanga ki a ia, ko te aromatawai mēnā he hononga kei a kōrua, ehara i te mea ko te hiahia ā-ira tangata e kukume ana i a kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Pātai atu ki a koe anō: 

• He mea ngahau ki te noho tahi me ia i te wā kāore kōrua e mahi tahi ana i te taha o te tinana, o te taha moepuku rānei? 
• Kei te pai koe ki te noho tahi me ia? 
• E taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a ia? 
• He rite tonu ō koutou uara me ō koutou mātāpono? 
• Ā, me pēhea tōna āhua noho? He rite ki tōu āhua noho?
• Ka taea e kōrua te noho tahi i waho o te rūma moe?

Mā ngā whakautu ki ngā pātai pēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me pēhea te angitu o te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, me te kore e pā ki te taatai. Heoi anō, kia pēhea te roa o te whanaungatanga mēnā ko te matū taatai ​​anake te pūtake, ko te hototahi ai? 

"E whakaaro ana te tangata ko te aroha ā-tinana anake te aroha. Heoi, he nui ngā whakakatakata, ngā whanaungatanga, me ērā atu mea anō hoki e uru ana ki roto. Ki te kore koe e tino mōhio mō te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ko te kaha ki te whai wā pai tahi, i tua atu i te moe tāne, he pai hei ine i te pai o kōrua hei hoa," te kī a Pooja. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakarere i te Marena mō te Hoa

3. Ki te mea ia ka whakarere ia i tana wahine, pātai atu ki a ia āhea

Mō ngā ture mō te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, kāore e taea te wareware i tēnei. Mena kua kī mai ia kei te noho pōuri ia, marena kore aroha ā, e kore e taea te tatari ki te whakarere i tana wahine kia noho tahi māua, kaua e tahuri noa ki ēnei kupu whakaari reka. 

Pātai atu ki a ia mō tētahi rārangi wā me ngā taipitopito tika mō āna mahere ki te wehe i tana marena. Ki te whakaroa ia, kia mōhio koe kei te hiahia pea ia ki te whai wā pai mō te wā poto. Ki te kore tēnā e rapu ana koe, whakaarohia tēnei he tohu nui mō tō whanaungatanga. Hei tāpiri, ka whai wāhi anō hoki koe ki te tirotiro mēnā kei te rite āna whakautu ki ō kaupapa matua.

4. Kaua e tukua ia kia whakamahi kino i a koe

Kaua e tukua ia kia whakamahi i ō kare ā-roto me ō kare ā-roto hei painga mōna. He maha ngā wāhine e taka ana ki roto i te mahanga o ngā kōrero tangi a ngā tāne kua moe tāne kia whiwhi ai rātou i tā rātou e hiahia ana. Kaua e noho hei tētahi o rātou. 

"Kia kore ai te tāne kua mārenatia e koe e whakamahi kino ana i a koe i te taha hinengaro, i te taha moepuku, i te taha pūtea rānei, me whakatū e koe he ture, me whakamana hoki." nga rohe whanaungatanga hauora "mai anō i te tīmatanga. Kaua e tukua tetahi kia kī atu kāore ngā rohe i te pai mō te whanaungatanga. Kāore he mea e tawhiti atu ana i te pono, ā, ko te tangata e pupuri ana i taua huarahi whakaaro, tera pea ka whai wāhi ia ki te tinihanga i a koe," te tohutohu a Pooja. Ko te tikanga o ngā rohe i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te kī i ō mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri. Hei tauira: 

• Ko tāku tumanako kia kaua koe e noho kore kōrero, ahakoa te āhua o te wā 
• Kāore e taea e koe te tumanako ka whakarērea e au ngā mea katoa ka noho tahi me koe nā te mea kua watea tō kaupapa mahi 
• Ko tāku tumanako kia whai wā koe ki te kite i ahau kotahi, e rua rānei i te wiki (tērā atu rānei te auau e pai ana ki a koe) 
• Kāore koe e aukati i taku nama waea. E tumanako ana ahau kia whakawhirinaki mai koe ki ahau kia kaua e pokanoa ki tō wā i te kāinga. 

Te pānui e pā ana: He Kōrero Whaki: Me pēhea taku whakatau i taku hononga ki taku rangatira

5. Kia tuwhera tonu ō kōwhiringa, kia tūtaki ki ētahi atu tāngata

Nō reira, e aroha ana koe ki tēnei tāne kua mārenatia. E whakaaro ana koe ko ia te tangata tika. Ia he mea whakakeke ki a koe. E mārama ana mātou. Engari kāore e taea e koe te wareware kei tua atu i a koe tōna oranga, ā, he oranga tino pai tōna, he mahi, he hoa rangatira, he tamariki, he hoa hoki. He aha koe me whakaroa ai i tō oranga nā te mea kei te haere tahi koe me tētahi tāne kua moe tāne? He mea nui kia ora koe i tō oranga ki te taumata teitei. Nō reira, koinei ngā mea me mahi e koe:

• Me tūtaki tonu ki ngā tāngata hou
• Kaua e tapahia ō hoa
• Kia tuwhera ki te āheinga ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata

Kaua e tukua tetahi kia kī atu kāore ngā rohe i te pai mō te whanaungatanga.

– Pooja Priyamvada

Arohaina ia, ā, kia manaakitia te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua, engari kaua e kati tō hinengaro ki te meka he maha ngā tāne atawhai, atawhai hoki kei waho e taea ai te hoatu ki a koe te momo whanaungatanga e tika ana māu. Ki te kore koe e pai ki te noho hei wahine kē atu mō te wā katoa, ehara i te mea whakaaro nui kia waiho ia hei 'tangata kotahi' i roto i tō ao. 

Me pēhea te whakamutu i te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia

He uaua te haere tonu ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne, ā, he maha ngā huarahi. Tērā pea ko te huna katoa, ko te huna haere, ko ngā kōrero teka, me tōna kore e wātea mai i tua atu i tētahi wāhi, kei te tīmata te pā ki a koe. I runga i tēnei raruraru kare ā-roto, kei te ngana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei wehe atu i tō hoa moe tāne kua moe tāne. Me pēhea te mahi i tēnā? Anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakamutu i te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne:

1. Whakaaroaro

Ko te mea tuatahi me mahi e koe mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te mutu te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne, ko te pātai atu ki a koe anō i ētahi pātai:

• He aha te mea i tino hiahia ai koe ki te whakaipoipo i a ia i te tuatahi? 
• Kei te harikoa koe ko koe tana kaupapa tuarua?
• Ka whakarērea rānei e ia tana wahine, kāore rānei, kei te āhua teka ia?
• Kāore ianei koe e hiahia kia whānau tōu ake whānau i tētahi rā?

Ki te mea kei te whakaatu ngā whakautu ki ēnei pātai kāore e tika ana kia whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tāne kua mārena, ka kitea e koe te whakatau ki te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga ki a ia.

Te pānui e pā ana: 20 Ngā Kōrero Pakiwaitara me ngā Mea Pono mō te Tinihanga i roto i te Marena

2. Whakatūpatohia ia

Ae, he kino te kimi hoa tangata i roto i te ao whakaipoipo o ēnei rā. Heoi, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, te ngangau i roto i te whanaungatanga Koinei pea te huarahi anake hei whakamutu i ngā mea me te kore e ngaro tō hinengaro. E toru marama te roa o taku hoa, a Candice, i roto i tētahi hononga i te wā i mōhio ai ia kei te whakaipoipo ia i tētahi tāne kua moe tāne, ā, he tamariki āna. I te wā i pātaihia ai, ka mea te tāne kāore ia i whakaatu kua moe tāne ia nā te mea kāore ia i hiahia kia ngaro ia. Ahakoa i oati ia kāore ia i te tata ki tana wahine, ā, e rapu whakarere ana ia, i whakaaro a Candice kua tinihangatia ia. Nō reira, i tapahia e ia tana hononga i tētahi rā pai. Ehara i te mea ngāwari, engari me mahi e ia.

3. Whakapono anō ki te aroha

Ae, tera pea kua piripono koe ki tētahi tāne kua moe tāne, he tangata kāore e whai wā ki a koe, ā, he maha hoki ngā wā ka kōrero teka koe ki a koe mō āna whakaaro, engari he tino taonga koe ki te noho hei hoa mōna. Nō reira, whakarērea te hinengaro o te piripono ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ā, kia noho hei kaiwhakaora mōu. Whakapono kei te tika koe mō te aroha e hiahiatia ana e koe, ā, tīmata anō ki te piripono ki ngā tāne takakau. Tangohia te mana whakahaere o tō oranga ki ō ringaringa.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Whakaaro a te Tohunga mō ngā Mōrearea o te Hono Anō ki tētahi Hoa o Mua i te Wā e Mārena Ana

4. Arotahi ki te whakatipu i te mana whaiaro

Kāore mātou e kī ana ko ngā wāhine katoa e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia kāore i te whai mana motuhake, engari he maha ngā wā, ko aua momo nga take o waho ka puta ina he ngoikore ngā kare ā-roto o ngā wāhine takakau, ina raru rānei rātou ki te whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō. Nō reira, tīmata ki te whakatipu i tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō mā te whakawhanake i a koe anō. Anei te huarahi:

• Tīmata ki te mahi i ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, pērā i te pānui pukapuka, te peita, me te māra
• Tīmatahia tētahi mahi whakangahau hou, tūhuratia hoki ō pūkenga huna
• Hono atu ki ngā karapu pukapuka, ki ngā karapu toi rānei, ka tīmata ki te taunekeneke ki ngā tāngata o reira

5. Rapua te tautoko tika

Ina ngaro koe, ā, e rapu ana koe i tētahi ara hei puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga kino ki waho o te marena me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ngana ki te kōrero ki ngā hoa tata me ngā mema o te whānau. Rapua ō rātou whakaaro mō te take. I ētahi wā, ina mataku rawa tātou ki te tango i taua peke whakapono, he tino āwhina te akiaki iti a tētahi atu. 

Hei tāpiri atu ki tēnei, he mea whai hua anō hoki te rapu āwhina ngaio. Ka taea e te tohunga hauora hinengaro matatau te āwhina i a koe ki te hura i ngā take/āhuatanga matua i kukume ai koe ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, me te mahi ki aua take, ā, mā tēnei ka māmā ake te wehe hononga me te neke atu. Mena kei te hiahia āwhina koe, he tohunga whai tiwhikete, he tohunga wheako ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro i te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mo koe. 

Te pānui e pā ana: He Kōrero Whaki: Me pēhea taku whakatau i taku hononga ki taku rangatira

Thoughts Final

Nō reira, ka kite koe i te uaua o te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārena. Ka kino atu pea mēnā he wahine mārena koe e aroha ana ki tētahi tāne kua moe tāne. Nō reira, me whai tonu koe i ngā ture whakaipoipo a tētahi tāne kua mārena.

Kia maumahara ki te ao tūturu, kia kaha hoki te mahi kia kore ai koe e kukumea rawatia. Ahakoa kua hangaia kōrua ko te tāne kua mārenatia mō kōrua, ā, ko ia te 'tino' mōu, me noho takakau ia i raro i te ture kia huri ai tō kōrua hononga hei whanaungatanga pono, whai tikanga. Kāore e taea e kōrua te piripono tonu ki te tāne kua mārenatia. Me whakatakoto koe i a koe anō ki mua.

Te hinga ki te aroha ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia? Anei te āhua o tō teka ki a koe anō!

8 Ngā Mea Hei Mōhio Ina Tetahi Koe Ki Te Tangata Āhua Aries

Te wareware i tētahi e pai ana koe ki a ia? Me mahi mā te matatau…

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.