Me pēhea te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere

Porohia te aroha

Ina kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga kua riro koe hei pononga mā ngā hiahia o tō hoa, ka tino uaua ki te wehewehe i waenga i te aroha me te mana whakahaere. He mea maori te mana whakahaere i roto i te tangata, engari ki te whiti i tētahi rohe, ka kino pea ki tētahi atu tangata. I taua wā, me pēhea e whakatau ai koe mēnā kei te mana whakahaere te whanaungatanga , kāore rānei, ā, mēnā kei te mana whakahaere, me pēhea e puta haumaru ai koe i tētahi whanaungatanga mana whakahaere?

Ka taea e te tangata whakahaere te manaaki, te ātaahua, me te aroha hoki. Nō reira, ina tīmata koe ki te whakaipoipo i a rātou, kāore koe e mōhio ka huri hei whanaungatanga whakahaere, whakahaere. He roa te wā ki te whakaae kua he tāu whakatau, ā, me wehe atu koe. Engari ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakakore i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere.

Ka whakamahia e te tangata tinihanga, rangatira hoki ngā mahi tinihanga katoa i roto i tana ngeru kia noho tonu ai koe. Mēnā koinei te āhua, me pēhea e mawhiti ai koe i tētahi whanaungatanga rangatira? Me whakamārama atu mātou ki a koe i roto i tēnei tuhinga.

He aha te Whakahaere i te Whanoke?

Ripanga o Ihirangi

He mea tino taketake te hiahia ki te whakahaere i roto i te tangata. Inaa, e whakaatu ana tētahi rangahau e whakaatu ana i tētahi tātaritanga pāpori-hinengaro mō te whakahaere i te tuakiri, he hiahia tō te tangata katoa ki te whakahaere, ā, kia whakahaeretia hoki ia. I ētahi wā, ka tino kaha te hiahia ki te whakahaere, ā, ka noho kino te tangata, ā, he pai ake te wehe atu i tēnei whanaungatanga.

Ka tīmata koe ki te mataku i te noho pōuriuri nā te mea ka pātaihia ia nekehanga, ia whakatau hoki. Mā te whanonga whakahaere ka taea te whakaiti i tō tuakiri, ā, ka kaha ake te mana o te tangata whakahaere.

Engari me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te whakahaerehia koe? E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro/kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Niki Benjamin, "Ahakoa he uaua, he manawanui, he mahi tahi ngā whanaungatanga katoa (ina koa i ngā wāhanga tuatahi), tera pea ētahi whanonga e tohu ana kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi e kiia ana he 'kaiwhakahaere mana', he tangata rānei e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere i ngā mea katoa e karapoti ana i a rātou me te kore e mōhio ki ngā rohe, ki te mana motuhake rānei kei a te tangata kē."

Ka mōhio koe kei te whakahaerehia koe ina whakaatu tō hoa i ētahi tohu. E kī ana a Benjamin kia tūpato tātou ki ngā tauira whanonga e whai ake nei:

Te pakū o te riri ina kore ngā mea e mahia kia rite ki tā te tangata e tumanako ana, e hiahia ana rānei
Te kore e pai ki te whakaaro, ki te whakaae rānei ki ētahi atu tirohanga
He hiahia nui ki te aroturuki, ki te tirotiro rānei i te huarahi mahi a tō rātou hoa i raro i te whakapae "He huarahi pai ake tāku" me te "Kāore au i te whakaaro me mahi koe i tēnei ara"
Te pukuriri, te mūmū noa iho, te pōuri rānei mēnā kāore koe e whakaae ki tā rātou whakaaro, kia whakaae rā anō rānei koe ki tā rātou whakaaro.

Me pēhea te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere

Ka taea e te tangata whakahaere te whakararuraru i tō ao. Ahakoa ka tangohia ō mana whakatau, ka ngaro hoki tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, kāore he huarahi kē atu māu engari ko te rapu herekore. I roto i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakahaere, tera pea kei te ngana koe mō te wā roa ki te whakarerekē i ngā mea kia kite ai tō hoa i tō tirohanga.

Engari ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore koe e anga whakamua ana, ko te wehe atu pea koinei anake te huarahi hei kimi anō i tō hinengaro pai. Nō reira, kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere? Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe he tino whakahaere tō hoa, anei ētahi huarahi e 8 hei wehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei:

1. Aromatawai i tō ake tūranga

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere, he maha ngā wā ka tino pōuri koe, ka kore rānei e whakapono ki a koe anō nā te mea kei te whakaiti tonu te tangata i a koe.

Me whakahoki mai te mana o te tangata whakahaere kia taea ai e ia te whakahaere i a koe.

Ko tāu e taea ko te whakanui i tō hiranga i roto i ō rātou ao. Whakamātauria rātou ki te reka o tā rātou ake rongoā. Kaua e whakaiti i a rātou, engari me kī atu kei a koe tētahi tūranga i roto i ō rātou ao e kore e taea e tetahi te whakakapi. Tukua rātou kia whakawhirinaki ki a koe.

Mā tēnei ka iti ake tō rātou mana, ka tata atu hoki ki a koe. Ina mōhio rātou ki tēnei, ka tīmata pea rātou ki te hoatu i te wāhi e hiahiatia ana e koe , ā, mā te āta whakaiti i te mana whakahaere o tō whanaungatanga. Ko te mahi nui ko te toa i a rātou mā te aroha.

Ko te hunga e whakahaere ana i ngā mea katoa ka pērā nā te kore e māia. Ki te taea e koe te hoatu ki a rātou he whakaaro haumaru me te whakamanawa ka taea e rātou te whakawhirinaki ki a koe, tera pea ka iti ake tō rātou mana whakahaere ki a koe. Ki te kore tēnei e angitu, me haere ki te Mahere Tuarua ka wehe atu.

2. Tuhia te rārangi

I ētahi wā, he mea nui kia kōrerotia e koe ki a rātou ngā mea e tika ana, me ngā mea kāore e tika ana. Mā ngā rohe whanaungatanga hauora ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te whakapai ake i tō kōrua hononga. Me whakaatu e koe ki a rātou te rohe o tō manawanui.

I roto i te whanaungatanga, ina whakahaere tetahi i tetahi atu, ka tirohia tuatahitia he koretake, kātahi ka riro i a koe te mana, kātahi ka aroha, kia mōhio rā anō koe he mana whakahaere noa iho. I taua wā, kua roa kē.

Ina whakatakoto koe i tētahi rohe, kia mau tonu tōu kaha ki te whakatau i tēnā. Ki te mea me noho tahi koe me tēnei tangata i tōu oranga katoa, kaua e tukua ia ki roto i te rohe o tō ngoikore. Ki te whakaaro koe kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakauru i a ia ki ō pūtea, me kī pūmau atu. Ki te mea ka puta he raruraru mō te haere tahi me ō hoa, me mārama kei te hiahia koe ki te mahi i tēnā nā te mea ka harikoa koe.

He tino uaua te noho tahi me tētahi tangata whakahaere kino, engari kia mau ai te rangimārie i roto i tō whanaungatanga, āwhina i a rātou kia whakaae ki ō rātou āhua, kātahi ka kī atu ki a rātou ngā mea e kore ai koe e pai ki a rātou.

Te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto — Tērā pea ka heke te whanaungatanga

3. Tīmata ki te kore e aro ki ā rātou whakahau, tīmata ki te whakaae ki ā rātou tono

Ko tētahi āhuatanga noa o te tangata whakahaere ko te tuku tohutohu. Ko tā rātou whakaaro he nui ake ō rātou mātauranga i tētahi atu i roto i te rūma, ā, ka whai mana rātou ki te whakatau mō te katoa. Mēnā he hoa rangatira, he hoa tinihanga hoki tōu, ka rite tō oranga ki te reinga.

Ahakoa te marino o tō tono kia tukuna koe e rātou ki te mahi i tāu e hiahia ana, e kore rātou e mārama. Mēnā koinei te āhua, kia puta atu ai koe i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere, me tīmata koe ki te karo i a rātou.

Kaua e whakarongo ki a rātou mēnā he reo whakaako tā rātou. Me mārama rātou i roto i te whanaungatanga, he ōrite kōrua. Kāore he kaupapa whakarōpū. Whakarongo ki a rātou ina tono mai rātou kia mahi koe i tētahi mea, kia hoatu rānei he tohutohu. Me kī atu ki a rātou kia whakamahia te kupu makutu "Tena koa" ka whakamutu i a rātou ina ngana ana rātou ki te tinihanga, mā te kī atu, "E mōhio ana ahau ki tāu e ngana ana ki te mahi."

I te tīmatanga, tera pea ka nui ake tō rātou riri, ka ngangau, engari ki te ū tonu koe ki ō whakaaro, tera pea ka hoki mai rātou. Ki te kore rātou e pena, ka mōhio koe kua tae te wā ki te whakarērea tēnei whanaungatanga.

4. Kōrero ki tētahi pakeke

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere, engari he taumaha hoki te noho mamae tonu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei. Ahakoa he pono me noho te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te tokorua, ki te mea he āhua whakahaere tō hoa rangatira, ā, kei te mamae koe, he pai ki te kōrero ki tētahi kua pakeke ake, kua pakeke ake.

Tuatahi, tīmata mā te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira, me te aro atu ki ngā raruraru e pā ana ki a koe nā ō rāua whanonga me tōna pānga ki tō oranga aroha me tō whanaungatanga. Ki te kore e angitu, kōrero ki ō rāua mātua, ki ō mātua rānei, mēnā he tuwhera ō rāua hinengaro.

Ka taea hoki e koe te kōrero ki tētahi hoa. Engari kia tino mōhio koe ka taea e te tangata e kōrero ana koe te tirotiro i te āhuatanga me te kore whakaaro pākiki, me te tuku tohutohu whaitake ki a koe.

Kāore he take kia mutu te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe he ara waenga. Tērā pea ka mārama noa tō hoa ki te raruraru. Ki te kore e pai te kōrero ki ētahi atu, ka taea e koe te haere ki tētahi kaiārahi mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te kimi i tētahi otinga.

He huarahi whai hua ake te whai tohutohu mai i tētahi atu tangata, nā te mea ka taea e koe te whakaputa i ō whakaaro. Ka taea e tētahi tohunga te āwhina i a koe me te kore whakaaro pākiki. Engari mō ēnā mea katoa, me whakaae tō hoa rangatira kei a rātou te mana whakahaere.

5. Tīmata ki te tuku tohu kāore koe i te makona ki te whanaungatanga

Ki te kore tō hoa e whakaae kei te whakahaere koe i a koe anō, me tīmata koe ki te tuku tohutohu ā-waha hei whakaatu i tō kore whakaae. Me whakaatu pea e koe tō whakahē, me tīmata rānei he pakanga ina kore e taea e koe te mahi i tāu e hiahia ana. Mā tēnei ka mārama rātou kei te whakaroa koe i te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore koe i te tino harikoa ki a ia.

Ki te tino aroha rātou ki a koe, ka whakatikahia e rātou ō rātou hē. Ka ngana rātou ki te urutau ki tētahi ara kia harikoa ai koe i roto i tā rātou ake ara iti. Ko te hunga he āhua whakahaere, i ētahi wā, kāore e mōhio kei te ahua whakahaere rātou.

Kua tino mau ki roto i a rātou, ā, e whakaaro ana rātou he mea maori tā rātou mahi. Ā, ki te kore tēnā e tupu, kua tae pea te wā ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga. Mai i te whakatau i ngā kākahu hei kakahu māu ki te mahi, ki te huamata hei whiriwhiri māu mō te tina me te take me kī "kāo" koe ki tētahi haerenga mahi kua whakaritea māu, tera pea kei te whakatau tō hoa i ngā whakatau katoa mō tō oranga.

Tērā pea kei te mamae koe, engari ko te whakaaro noa ki te mawhiti i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere pea kei te whakararuraru i a koe. Mēnā koinei te āhua, tērā pea ka whakaaro koe me pēhea te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere? Me whakaatu ki a rātou te āhua o te whakahaeretia. Hoatu he wā ki a rātou kia whakatikatika i ō rātou hē, engari ki te kore, kua tae pea te wā kia wehe atu.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa rangatira e whakahāwea ana i te moepuku?

6. Kaua e huna i raro i tō rātou riri

Engari, ko te riri te āhuatanga noa i roto i ngā whanaungatanga whakahaere, whakahaere-kino katoa. Kāore tō hoa e whakaatu i tēnei hei whakamataku i tētahi, engari i roto i te hinengaro, ka mōhio ia he patu kaha te riri. Ka taea e ia te whakatutuki i ngā mea e pai ana ki a ia mēnā ka riri ia, ka tīmata rānei te hamama me te hamama. Ko te noho tahi me te tangata whakahaere he tino uaua mō tēnei take. Ka taea e ō rātou raruraru riri te huri i ngā kōrero whai whakaaro katoa hei pakanga kino.

"Ko ngā rohe tō koutou mana; whakatakotoria, tiakina, whakahonoretia."

Ina riri rātou, ko te tauhohenga whānui mai i tō taha ko te noho puku, ka noho ki te kokonga, ka whakarongo puku ki ā rātou kōrero, hei whakamarie i a rātou. Ahakoa he huarahi pai tēnā hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga, kia mōhio koe ki te wā e mutu ai. Akene kei te hiahia koe kia maeneene te rere o te whanaungatanga, nō reira, ka whakatikatika koe. Engari tera pea ka kite rātou he mōunu hei whakaoti i ā rātou mahi. Tērā pea ka riri rātou ki ngā mea katoa, ā, ka oti ngā mea i tā rātou e pai ai.

Me kōrero koe kia puta ai tō whakaaro. Mēnā ka noho puku koe, ka nui ake tā rātou tukino i a koe. Tērā pea ka āhua whakamataku rātou ina riri ana rātou, engari ina tīmata koe ki te whakanui i tō reo, ka whakaitihia e rātou ō rātou reo.

He Pānui e Pā Ana: I pā kino taku marena engari i raru tonu ahau i te matenga o taku tāne

7. Whakanohoia rātou ki raro, ka kī atu kua tata koe te whakamutu i tēnei whanaungatanga

He tino uaua tēnei i te taha kare ā-roto. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere. Ahakoa kei te whakahaere tō hoa, i roto tonu i a koe, e aroha ana koe ki a ia. Koia te take, ka ngana koe ki te whakaora i te whanaungatanga.

Engari me mārama koe me noho tahi ngā whanaungatanga katoa, ā, ki te kore tō hoa e ngana ana ki te whakarerekē i a ia anō, kua tae ki te wā kia mutu tō mamae mōna. He tino uaua ki te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga ina kotahi anake e ngana ana.

Me noho tahi koe me rātou, me te kī atu, me te kore e kōrero whakatewhatewha, kāore te whanaungatanga e angitu i runga i ā rātou tikanga. E whai ana tātou katoa kia arohaina, kia whakautehia hoki. Kāore e taea e koe te ora i tētahi wāhi e arohaina ana koe i raro i ngā tikanga. He tino kino ki te hauora.

He mamae te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga ki tētahi tangata whakahaere engari he tika anō hoki. Tērā pea ka ngana rātou ki te whakamutu mā te whakamahi i ngā patu me ngā rautaki tinihanga tawhito, engari kia mārama rawa tō tautohetohe me tō whakatau.

8. Kaua e taka ki ngā patu o te whakatoi kare ā-roto, o ngā whakawehi, o te riri rānei

Ki te kore tetahi mea e mahi, ka tīmata pea rātou ki te tangi tonu hei aukati i a koe kei wehe atu i a rātou, ka whakawehi rānei i a koe, me te kī ka whakamomori rātou. Tērā pea ka kino atu mēnā ka whakamahia e rātou te tukino tinana, te tukino ā-waha rānei. Ka tino uaua te wehe atu i tētahi hoa pēnei.

Me whai tangata hei whakatutuki i tā rātou hiahia ki te whakahaere. Kua taunga rawa rātou ki tēnei āhuatanga, ā, kua rite ki te waranga kāore e taea te whakakore. He tūmanako tonu kei te haere tonu te huringa, engari i mua i te hokinga atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā kua rite koe ki te pā anō ki te mamae.

Ko te kōwhiringa pai ko te kore e hoki whakamuri, ahakoa ā rātou kōrero. Kaua e mau ki roto i ngā kare ā-roto, i ngā whakawehi whakamomori, i te riri rānei. Ngāna kia titiro noa ki tēnei mea, ā, whakawhirinaki ki tāu whakatau. Kāore he hē o te mahi i tetahi mea hei oranga ngākau.

He tino hoha te mahi tahi me tētahi tangata he āhua whakahaere tōna. I ētahi wā, ka hiahia pea koe ki te tuku i a koe anō, ā, he tika rawa tēnā. Me waiho te whanaungatanga hei wāhi haumaru mōu, kaua hei wāhi e kaha ai koe ki te huri i tētahi tangata kia rite ki tāu e pai ai.

Ahakoa he pakanga anō ō ia whanaungatanga, me mōhio koe ko tēhea te pakanga hei whawhai, ko tēhea hoki hei whakarērea. Ki te mea kei te pāngia tō hauora hinengaro i muri i te wehenga atu i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, me toro atu ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro i te wā tere tonu, me te rapu āwhina hauora anō hoki.

FAQs

1. He aha te āhua o tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere?

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere, ka pupuri te tangata kotahi i te mana ki runga i te tangata kē, ā, ka riro i a ia āna whakatau katoa. Ka whakamahia e rātou te riri, te tinihanga, me te whakawehi kare ā-roto kia tino tika ai te mahi a tā rātou hoa i tā rātou e hiahia ana kia mahia e rātou.

2. He aha ngā mea ka tupu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere?

Ko te tangata e whakahaeretia ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka tīmata te ngaro o tōna whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, ā, ka pōuri ia. Nō reira, ka noho te whanaungatanga hei mea paitini . Ka taea hoki e te whanaungatanga whakahaere te huri hei tukino hinengaro.

3. He aha ngā tohu o te tangata whakahaere?

Ka riri wawe tonu te tangata whakahaere, ā, ka whakamahia e ia ōna pahūtanga hei whakamataku i tōna hoa. Kāore e taea e ia te whakaae ki te whakaaro o tōna hoa, ā, ka mahia e ia ngā mea katoa kia pai ai ngā mea katoa.

Thoughts Final

He uaua te wetewete i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere engari he whakamana. Me whai māia, me tautoko, me whakapau kaha ki tō oranga. Kia maumahara, ka tīmata te herekoretanga i te aroha ki a koe anō me te whakapono e tika ana kia whakautehia koe, kia harikoa, kia tū motuhake hoki.

Kaua tetahi e māharahara kei roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kāore e taea e rātou te whakapuaki noa i a rātou anō. Ahakoa he uaua te haerenga atu, ka arahi atu ki tētahi heke mai kanapa ake, whai hua ake. He kaha ake koe i tō whakaaro, ā, kei te wātea tonu te āwhina. Ka whakaratohia e ā mātou ratonga tohutohu he wāhi haumaru, tūmataiti hei āwhina i a koe ki te anga whakamua me te mārama me te kaha.

Me pēhea te mahi ki tētahi tāne e kaha whakahaere ana?

12 Ngā Tohu e Pā Ana ō Hononga o Mua ki tō Hononga o Nāianei

Me pēhea te pupuri i tō hinengaro pai mēnā he tangata teka tō hoa

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.