Me pēhea te mahi ki tētahi tāne e kaha whakahaere ana?

Ko ia te mea tino reka i a kōrua e whakaipoipo ana. He iti nei tōna mana pupuri engari i tino pai ki a koe i taua wā. Engari i te wā tonu i herea ai kōrua te pona, ka huri te hoa rangatira hei tāne whakahaere. I tangohia e ia te katoa o te taha whakatau i a koe - mai i ō kākahu ki ō moni - ā, i mahue koe e whakaaro ana, "Me pēhea koe e noho tahi ai me te tāne whakahaere?"

Ko te mea tino pai, he tika te noho taurite o te oranga o ngā hoa rangatira e rua. Engari, heoi, ehara tēnei i te mea pono i roto i ngā whare kāore i te taurite i raro i ngā mana whakahaere.

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He aha te tāne whakahaere?

Ki te kōrero koe ki tō hoa kei te mahi tahi kōrua me tētahi tāne whakahaere, tera pea ka pātaihia tēnei pātai ki a koe, nā te mea ki te kore tētahi tangata i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere e kore rātou e mōhio ki te tikanga o te tāne whakahaere.

Anei tētahi tauira. E ono marama te roa o te noho tahi a Susanne me Stew (kua rerekē ngā ingoa) i mua i tō rāua marena. I kitea e ia he tino aroha te tohe a Stew kia whakapaua e ia ōna wā waatea katoa ki a ia. Engari i te wā i marena ai rāua, ka tohe tonu ia kia pērā anō. I āta mōhio a Susanne kua tīmata a Stew ki te riri mēnā ka whakarite ia i tētahi mahere me ōna hoa. Kāore i taea e ia te haere ki te pā me ōna hoa mahi i muri i tētahi rā uaua i te mahi nā te mea i tohe a Stew me noho ia ki te kāinga i mua i a ia nā te mea "i hiahia ia kia kite i a ia ina tae wawe mai ia ki te kāinga."

I amuamu tonu ia kāore ia i te whakarite i a ia hei kaupapa matua māna, ā, he hiahia whaiaro tōna. Engari i mōhio a Susanne ko Stew te tangata tāne hiahia-ā-tangata  ā ka tīmata te taura o te mana whakahaere ki te whakamomori i a ia.

He aha ngā take e puta ai ngā raruraru whakahaere? Ka whakatōngia ngā purapura whakahaere i te tamarikitanga. Mena he nga matua paitini ka taea e rātou te noho hei kaiwhakahaere i roto i ō rātou ake whanaungatanga. Ka taea e te tukino tamarikitanga te hanga i te tangata hei kaiwhakahaere, ā, hei kaiwhakahaere anō hoki he iti te kiritau ko ia te kawenga mō te whakahaere.

I roto i tētahi marena kore taurite pēnei, ko te tikanga ka noho te tāne hei hoa rangatira, ka whakararuraru i te whanaungatanga hauora o te tokorua. Mā roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka ngana mātou ki te tātari taipitopito i ngā tohu o tētahi tāne rangatira hei āwhina i te whakaora i ngā raruraru maha atu. ngā marena kino.

He aha ngā tohu o te tāne whakahaere?

Kāore te tāne whakahaere e whakaatu mai i tētahi whakatūpato. Engari, he pono kei reira ētahi tohu whakatūpato e whakaatu ana i te āhua kino o te tangata i ngā rā tuatahi. Me tātari tātou i aua tohu e whakapakari ana i te tūponotanga o ia hei tāne. he tāne whakahaere me te rangatira.

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1. E whakahaere ana ia i raro i te kākahu o te aroha

I ngā marama/tau tuatahi o te marena, he tino whakapuaki whakaaro, he aroha, he manaaki hoki ngā tāne ki ā rātou wāhine. I muri i te noho tahi mō te wā roa, ka tīmata te tāne pēnei ki te whakahaere i ngā āhuatanga mā roto i ngā kēmu hinengaro pēnei i te gaslighting ā, e whakahaere ana i ngā mahi a tana wahine.

Ka pā te hae ki tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, ā, ka noho hei mea kino mō te marena i te wā roa. Tērā pea ka pai ki a koe te ahua o te pupuri taonga i te tīmatanga hei 'aroha' i ō rā tuatahi. Engari ki te roa haere mō ngā take me ngā take katoa, ka huri hei wheako whakararuraru, riri hoki, e whakaatu ana i te awe me te mana whakahaere koretake o tō tāne i roto i te ao.

2. Ka whakatūria e ia ngā take mō tō whakawhirinakitanga pūtea

Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ngā tohu tōmua o tētahi tāne whakahaere, koinei tētahi. He tino pā te mana motuhake o te wahine ki ōna whakaaro tāne. Nō reira, i te tīmatanga, ka ngana tētahi tāne pēnei ki te whakatū i ngā take pakari hei whakarērea e koe tō mahi.

I ētahi wā, ka huna pea koe e ia mō ngā moni whiwhi ā-marama, ngā penapena, me te moni e uru mai ana.

Mā te whakawhāiti i ngā tahua o te whare ia marama ka taea hoki e rātou te whakahaere i ngā raruraru a te wahine. Ka taea e ia te whai wāhi atu ki te kore whakapono ki te pūtea. He pānga nui ēnei āhuatanga katoa ki te āhua pūtea o te wahine, ā, ko tētahi o ngā take tino pakari hei noho tonu ki roto i tētahi... hononga kino

3. Ka tapahia e ia tō pūnaha tautoko

Hei whakarite kia ngoikore, kia whakaraerae hoki koe, ka ngana te hoa rangatira ki te tapahi i ngā tautoko katoa tae atu ki ngā hoa me te whānau. He tohu tino tēnei o te whanaungatanga whakahaere.

He hae, he rangatira hoki te tāne kino ki tana wahine. E kite ana ia i te whānau me ngā hoa o tana wahine hei tūmomo mōrearea nui ki tana whanaungatanga marena. Tērā pea ka amuamu ia kāore ia e pai ki ō hoa pai, kāore rānei koe e tika kia whakapā atu ki ō whanaunga i ngā wā katoa. Ko tana whāinga matua he tango i te pūnaha tautoko a tana wahine, kia waiho ia kia kore e tiakina, kia kitea, kia ngoikore hoki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tangata.

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4. E whakahe tonu ana ia i tō whanonga

Ahakoa he iti noa iho te tīmatanga, he whakamataku pea ngā pānga. I konei, ehara i te mea kei te kōrero mātou mō ngā whakahe pai a te tāne, engari kei te kōrero mō tētahi tauira e pā ana ki ngā āhuatanga katoa o te wahine, tae atu ki tōna āhua kakahu, te hanga kanohi me te makawe, te whakahaere i ngā tikanga o te whare, tae atu ki te tunu kai.

Ehara i te mea ka pātai noa i tōu pai o te mahi, engari ka tukua hoki te whakapae katoa mō ngā mahi hē o te marena ki runga i a koe. He kino rawa te pānga o te tāne whakahaere kino ki te marena.

5. Kei te whakawehi ia ki te whakarērea koe

I ngā wā katoa ka puta he pakanga, ka whakawehi ia ki te whakarērea koe. e kī ana i ngā mea tino mamae ki a koe ina whawhai koe, ā, i ētahi wā ka mahue koe ki te whakaaro mēnā e aroha ana ia ki a koe.

Engari i te wā tonu i muri mai ka tono ia kia murua koe, engari ehara i te mea ka tukuna koe e ia kia noho ko wai koe. Me kanikani koe i ana hiahia ā tōna wā.

6. Ka tawai ia i tō hiahia nui

Mena kei te whakahaere koe i ngā tamariki me te whānau, me te whakataurite i ō hiahia whaiaro pēnei i te mahi raranga, te peita rānei, tera pea ka tawai ia i tō auahatanga me tō mana motuhake mā te tauira mura hau paitini, he tohu kaha anō tēnei o tētahi hoa paitini.

E kore te tāne whakahaere nui e whakahē i ō pūkenga, e tawai rānei i a koe i te wā tuatahi e taea ai.

7. He tutei ia ki a koe

E whakaaro ana ia he tika tāna ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio ki ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō koiora. Ahakoa he tirotiro waea, he takiuru ki ō īmēra, he whai rānei i tō hītori ipurangi, ka tutei taua tangata i a koe i roto i ngā āhuatanga rerekē.

Tērā pea kei te māharahara ia, kei te take whakawhirinaki ka waiho ia hei tangata hiahia ki te whakahaere i a ia anō, ā, ka waiho koe kia whakaaro, "He aha ia i hiahia ai ki te whakahaere i ahau?"

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Me pēhea te whakatau i te tāne e kaha ana ki te whakahaere, e kaha ana hoki ki te whakahaere?

Me pēhea te noho tahi me te tāne rangatira? Mā te noho tahi me te hoa rangatira ka nui ake te mana whakahaere i roto i te marena. He maha ngā wero mō te wahine kua moe tāne, ā, ka whakaiti i te kounga o tōna oranga.

Hei karo i ēnei tūmomo uauatanga o te ao, anei ngā huarahi ngāwari, engari he whai hua hoki hei whakaatu mā te wahine i a ia anō me te whakaatu i te āhua o te mana whakahaere me te mana nui i roto i te marena.

1. Kia marino i a koe e whakahaere ana i ngā whanonga whakahaere a te tāne

He tokomaha e whakapono ana he rite tēnei ki te tuku i a tātou anō. Āe, ko tā tātou Bonobology tohunga Kaua e whakaaro pēnā. Inaa, he mahi hinengaro whakamuri tēnei e taea ai e koe te huri i ngā mea hei painga mōu me te kore e whakautehia e te tāne.

Ko ngā kīanga ngawari pēnei i te, 'E whakaae ana ahau ki a koe, engari kua whakaarohia e koe tēnei mea?' ka whai hua pea ki te wahine i ētahi wā.

2. Whakahaerehia koe, ā, hurihia hoki

Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō mō ​​te whakahē a tō hoa. Engari, waiho māu te mana whakahaere me te harikoa. Akene, me tīmata he mahi hou, he mahi rānei hei whakahoki mai i te maia kua ngaro.

Kia maumahara, kotahi anake te tangata ka taea e koe te whakarerekē me te whakahaere – ko koe anō. Nō reira, he aha e kore ai e whakamahi hei tikanga whakapai ake, hei wheako hoki i ngā whakapainga o te ao.

Whakauruhia tētahi akoranga hou, whakapaitia ō pūkenga, ā, whakaritea tō putanga 2.0 mō tētahi oranga pai ake kei mua i a koe, me tō tāne, me te kore rānei.

3. Kia kōrero nui mō te kino o te mana whakahaere ki a koe

Kia rongohia te mana whakahaere a te hoa rangatira, ngana ki te kōrero ki a rāua, me te whakaatu ki a rāua ngā kino ka pā ki te marena nā tana tirotiro tonu. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a kōrua kia kotahi te whakaaro, kia kotahi hoki te whakaaro. whakatau i ngā take taupatupatu me te mahi tahi.

Ngā mahi whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakapuaki pai ake i ō hiahia me ō kare ā-roto ki tō hoa. Tērā pea ka kitea e te tāne whakahaere he take engari kei te āhua o tō ngana.

4. Whakaaturia te mamae i puta mai i tō rātou āhua whakahaere

Mā ngā kōrero ā-ngākau mō te whakakino i tō whakapono ki a koe nā te whakahē tonu a tō tāne, ka mōhio ia ki te āhua kino o te...ngā pānga o te tukino kare ā-roto.

I tēnei wā, ki te tino aroha ia ki a koe, ka ngana ia ki te aroha ki a koe, ā, ka mahi i te taahiraa e whai ake nei, arā, kōrero ngaio.

5. Mahi tahi tetahi ki tetahi i ngā wā whakawhanaungatanga ngaio

He maha ngā awheawhe marena hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru o tō marena. Te tohutohu mō te marena ka taea e ia te āwhina i a kōrua kia mārama ake tetahi ki tetahi, ā, ka taea hoki e ia te mārama ki te āhua o tana mana whakahaere te whakangaro i tō whanaungatanga.

Ki te mea kei a koe ngā kare ā-roto, te whakawhirinaki, me te whakapono ki tō aroha, ka whakapai ake ēnei awheawhe i te kounga o te oranga, ka whakatika hoki i ngā hapa katoa o tō whanaungatanga. Ka taea e ngā kaitohutohu marena te āwhina i tō hoa rangatira kia mārama ake ki a koe me ō hiahia.

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6. Kimihia ngā take kei muri i tō rātou āhua rangatira

Ka rongoatia e te aroha ngā patunga hohonu rawa. Me whakakīkī pea e koe ngā kōrerorero whakaora ngaio me tō hoa aroha. Ngāna kia kitea mēnā i pāngia tō hoa rangatira e te whakawhirinaki hohonu, e ngā raruraru kare ā-roto rānei i mua. Tērā pea he wehenga kino nā te whakarere kino rānei i riro i a ia te mana whakahaere i ngā mea katoa o te marena.

Kia mārama ki te take mai i tana tirohanga, ā, āwhina i a ia ki te wikitoria i ngā wero mā te whakarato i tētahi whanaungatanga haumaru. Ahakoa te āhua uaua ki te titiro atu, engari ki te wikitoria koe i tēnei wāhanga, ka tino whai hua koe ki tētahi putanga pai ake, pai ake o tō tāne.

Me pēhea te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere?

He kino rawa ngā pānga o te tāne whakahaere nui ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wikitoria i te tukino kare ā-roto a tō tāne. Ina kore e angitu ngā taunekeneke pai katoa me ngā wawaotanga ngaio, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakaaro anō mēnā he kino te noho i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga ki a koe, kāore rānei.

Ki te mea ko koe anake te whakapae a tō tāne mō ngā hapa katoa o te whanaungatanga, ki te whakaaro rānei kāore koe i te pai ki te pupuri i te kounga o te marena, me tirotiro e koe ngā tohu kei roto koe i te whanaungatanga. whanaungatanga tukino.

Ki te whakaaro koe he tohu te āhua rangatira o tō tāne mō te tukino ā-hinengaro, ā-tinana, ā-waha hoki, ko te wā tika tēnei ki te wehe atu i te marena, ā, rapu whakarere... Mā tēnei, ka mutu i a koe te mamae raupapa me te awe paitini i roto i tōu ao.

Kia maumahara, ehara koe i te pēpi hei whakahaere mā tō tāne anake. Ko te kaupapa o te marena he taurite i whakatūria, i puritia hoki e te tāne me te wahine. Ki te tangohia e te hoa rangatira te mana katoa ki roto i ōna ringaringa, ka whakararuraru i te whanaungatanga, ka waiho te marena hei mea kino, hei mea hauora hoki.

I muri i te tātari i ēnei tawhā kua whakahuatia ake nei, ko te tumanako kei a koe te tirohanga tika mō te huarahi hei whakatau i ngā tohu ngaro o te āhua whakahaere a tō tāne, hei āwhina hoki i tō marena. Engari ki te hiahia koe ki tētahi tohutohu whaiaro, whakapā mai ki a mātou. Bonobology Kōrero ki tētahi rōpū tohunga whanaungatanga mō te raruraru nui o tō hoa rangatira, kia whiwhi ai koe i tētahi tirohanga tika mō ngā raruraru o tō whanaungatanga.

He aha te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga?

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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