E ngā wāhine, ki te mea kua amuamu koutou mō te kore aro o tētahi hoa ki a koutou ina kōrero koutou, ehara ko koutou te wahine tuatahi ki te pena. Ko te huarahi hei whakarongo i tā koutou tāne ki a koutou he raruraru noa e pā ana ki ngā wāhine o te ao katoa. Kaua e pohehe, e mōhio ana mātou e aroha ana ia ki a koutou. Engari i ētahi wā i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka kore noa ngā tāne e pai ki te mahi tahi. Engari, tera anō ngā huarahi hei whakarongo mārie atu ki a koutou.
Pānuihia te kōrero i raro nei kia pai ake ai tō mārama.
Me pēhea te whakarongo a tō tāne ki a koe
Ripanga o Ihirangi
(Kua whakarerekētia ngā ingoa hei tiaki i ngā tuakiri)
Kua mōhio ahau ki te whakarongo mai o te tāne ki a koe. I muri i te roa rawa o te wā, kua aro mai taku tāne, a Colin, ki ahau. Tae noa ki ēnei rā tata nei, kāore i pērā.
Kāore ia e aro mai ki ahau ina whakawhirinaki ahau ki a ia, ina kōrero ahau i tētahi mea, ina whakaputa rānei ahau i aku amuamu. Kua tino aro nui ia ki te mātakitaki i tētahi kēmu i te pouaka whakaata, ki te tirotiro rānei i ngā whakahoutanga i runga i tana waea pūkoro, ā, kāore ia e aro mai ki ahau. I hiahia ahau ki tētahi whakautu, ki tētahi momo whakautu rānei. Kāore ia i whakarongo, ā, kāore noa iho ia i aro mai ki ahau me te mea kāore au i te ora. Kua hoha ahau ki te kore aro mai pērā. Kua roa rawa tēnei. I taku whakapae i a ia mō te kore aro mai, ka noho puku noa ia hei whakautu.
He taonga whare ahau? Ko wai taku e kōrero ai mō ōku kare ā-roto, mō ōku hiahia rānei? Kāore ianei ia i te whakaarohia he hoa, he hoa mahi? I pōuri tonu tōku hinengaro i ēnei whakaaro, engari kāore i taea e au te wawahi i te taiepa i hanga e ia hei karapoti i a ia, me te whakapā atu ki a ia.
"I kite ia ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero he mea nui ake te wā i te kōrero."
Kāore ia e whakarongo mai ki ahau
I roto i te whānau me ngā hoa, he tino tangata ia e noho tahi ana. Engari ko au anake e mōhio ana ki te mamae o te whakarongo mai ki ahau, ki te kōrero rānei i tētahi mea whai tikanga hei whakautu.
I kino rawa atu i roto i a mātou ngā tautohetohe whanaungatanga me ngā whawhai. Whai muri i tana whakapae, ka noho puku ia, ka kore e whakarongo ki taku taha o te kōrero. Ka haere tonu taku whakamārama, taku whakatika rānei i ahau anō, engari he rite ki te kōrero ki te pakitara. I tā māua whawhai whakamutunga, ka haere noa atu ia ka tahuri te pouaka whakaata i te rūma kē.
Mā te hunga e rongo ana i ahau e hamama ana, ka whakaaro rātou kei te hanga e au tōna ao hei reinga māku nā aku amuamu koretake. I te wiki kua taha ake nei, kāore i taea e au te manawanui. I te whakarite mātou ki te haere ki waho.
I kī ia he nui te hamama o taku kākahu hei kukume i te aro. I ohorere ahau. Nāna i koha mai ki ahau i te tau kua pahure. I kōrerotia e au tēnei ki a ia engari i taua wā kua puta ake tana riri. I noho puku noa ia, ā, i mea mai kia hohoro ahau.
Me pēhea rā ia i kōrero ai i tētahi mea pēnei, me te tumanako kia kaua ahau e tauhohe? I pātai atu ahau ki a ia he aha te tikanga o tana kōrero. I kī puku ia he kōrero whakakatakata noa iho. "He nui rawa taku tauhohe," tana kī hameme. Nā tēnā i tino miharo ahau.
"He tangata koe tane hae "Ina mihi mai te tangata ki ahau? Kāore e taea e koe te whai wahine ataahua?" ka riri ahau.
Kāore he whakautu. I roto i ahau e koropupū ana. I hiahia ahau kia kōrero ia i tētahi mea, kia mihi mai, kia pouri rānei mō taua kōrero. Engari i noho puku ia, ko tōna mata i huna ki roto i tana papa.
Kāore i taea e au te manawanui atu anō
"E mōhio ana ahau ki tō raruraru," ka tawai ahau, "He nui rawa tō whakaiti i a koe. He nui ake te aro mai ki ahau i a koe, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaae ki tēnā. Me i moe koe i tētahi tangata koretake, i tētahi tangata ngoikore rānei pērā i a koe, kaua i tētahi tangata mārama, ātaahua pērā i ahau. Kāore au i te mōhio he aha ahau i aroha ai ki a koe. Kua pana noa ahau i ahau ki roto i te reinga ora." I maringi noa ngā kupu.
I kite ahau i tōna ohorere. Kāore i taunga ki ēnei kōrero a au, ka titiro mai ia ki ahau mō tētahi hēkona ruarua.
"Kei te whakaari noa koe he hou, he tuwhera hoki tō hinengaro. Inaa, e kitea ana tō whakaaro kuiti i ētahi wā. Engari me aha koe? I whakatipuria koe pērā, nō reira, ehara pea i te he nāu. He hohonu rawa te kino e kore e taea te whakatika."
Kāore i te whakarongo, engari i aro katoa mai ia ki ahau. Āe, tauhohe mai ināianei, ka mea ahau i roto i tōku hinengaro. Tērā pea kua rahi rawa taku haere.
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I kite ahau he nui rawa aku kupu
I pouri ahau mō aku kupu whakamutunga, ka mea ia me te reo iti, "Koinei tō whakaaro? Kāore ōku mātua i ako i ahau kia whakaute i ngā wāhine"Kei te kukume koe i ōku mātua ki tēnei mea! Ā, e hae ana ahau ki a koe? I muri i ngā tau e toru o te marena, ka mea mai koe kei te pouri koe mō te marena i ahau? I roto tonu i tō hinengaro tēnei i te wā katoa, āe? Me i mōhio ahau i te wā i kōrero kata ai koe i mua."
"He tangata koretake koe, he tangata hiahia nui hoki, ka waiho māku e tiaki te whare i ngā wā katoa e haereere ana koe me ō hoa. I te wā i toro mai ai ōku mātua i te wā whakamutunga, kāore koe i whakaaro rua ki te waiho i a rātou anake ki te kāinga kia haere ki te ngahau me ō hoa. E hia ngā wā kua tiaki ahau i ngā mea i a koe e whakararuraru ana i a rātou? Ā, inaianei kei te kōrero wairangi koe? Kāore koe e tika ana mōku, e mārama ana koe?"
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I ruia rawatia ia e au
Kua piki haere tōna reo. I miharo ahau i tana kohikohi i ngā mahi o mua hei whakapae i ahau. I titiro puku atu ahau ki a ia me te riri. Kāore au i whakaaro ko te huarahi hei whakarongo i te tangata ka whakawhirinaki ki ahau me tino wiri rawa ngā mea.
Engari i te wā i muri mai, ka ngana ia ki te whakamahi i tana rautaki o mua, arā, ko te haere atu i te wāhi. Engari kāore au i te hiahia ki te tuku i a ia kia haere i muri i tana whakapae i ahau.
I ētahi wā, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kōrero ki tāu tāne, me whakarongo mai ia, me tino whai whakaaro koe mā te whai kōrero nui. Kāore i taea te aukati i ahau ināianei. I te mea kua whara ahau i te whakapehapeha, i hiahia ahau ki te rapu utu.
"Āe?" ka tawai ahau. "Nō reira, kua pono mai a Colin, he tangata atawhai, he tangata māhaki hoki, ki ahau! Engari, ehara pea i te mea nāu te he. Me whakapae koe ki tō whakatipuranga me taku ngā hungawai kino! "
I tino ohorere ia, ā, ka hamama mai ki ahau mō te wā tuatahi i roto i ngā tau e toru. "Kati te whakatoi i ōku mātua! Ki te kore e taea e koe te whakaute i a rātou, waiho noa iho rātou."
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Ki taku whakaaro kua kitea e au te huarahi hei whakarongo mai i a ia ki ahau
I mura te riri me te whakama i roto i ahau, ā, i akiaki i ahau kia haere tonu. "'Ā, me pēhea rā ngā wā ka tae mai ōku mātua? Kāore koe e hoki mai i te tari i te wā tika hei tūtaki ki a rāua! Ko te hunaonga pono, he tama pai, ka haere tonu ki te kura ina toro atu ana hungawai, kāore?"
I whakatau ahau ki te kōrero ki a ia mō ngā take katoa i tēnei rā. Ā, me pēhea mēnā kei te whara ahau i a ia, me ahau anō hoki? Ināianei kua mōhio ahau me pēhea te whakarongo mai o tāu tāne ki a koe.
“Kati te kōrero, kati te kōrero!” I puta atu ia i te rūma, ā, ka patuki i te tatau.
Ahakoa i riri ahau, i muri mai ka mōhio ahau kua tauhohe ia i te mutunga. I tino pouri ia ki te ngā mea whakapouri I mea atu ahau, ka kite ahau. Kāore anō kia kōrerotia e au ēnei mea katoa i mua, inā koa ngā whakaeke whaiaro. Engari i te iti rawa i whakarongo mai ia ki ahau me tōna aro katoa.
Me pēhea te kōrero kia whakarongo mai ai te tāne? I ētahi wā me tino hiki ake ngā mea ki tētahi taumata e whai ake nei.
Kāore ia i ara ake, kāore i tahuri te pouaka whakaata, kāore hoki i titiro ki te mata o tana waea pūkoro. I taea e au te whakakore i tōna mangere. Ae, he uaua, engari ki te mea koinei taku mahi hei kukume i tōna aro, ka pai, ka mahia e au…
(E ai ki te kōrero ki a Barnali Roy)
FAQs
1. He aha tāu e mahi ai ina kore tō hoa tāne e whakarongo ki a koe?
Ko te mea nui kia whakarongo mai tō hoa tāne ki a koe, ko te whakaatu i tō pouri ki a ia. Kaua e kōrero ki a ia, kaua hoki e tūtaki ki a ia kia ea rā anō te raruraru. Ki te mea kei te noho pōhēhē tonu ia, me ata whakarongo, me whakamārama ki a ia te mamae o tēnei mea ki a koe.
2. Me pēhea taku whakamārama i a ia ki ōku kare ā-roto?
Mā te kōrero roa ki a ia mō taua mea anō. Ki te kore koe e rongohia i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, kaua e noho noa. Whakapaua he wā mōu ake, kia tuwhera hoki te kōrero. Kaua e tukua ia kia haere i te rūma kia mutu rā anō kōrua te whakapuaki i ō kōrua whakaaro. Koinei te huarahi hei whakarongo mai i tō hoa tāne ki a koe, hei mārama mai hoki ki a koe.
Thoughts Final
Ko te akiaki i tētahi kia whakarongo mai ehara i te mea ko te akiaki i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, engari ko te waihanga i tētahi taiao e whai mana ai ngā taha e rua. Ko te manawanui, te aroha, me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi te pūtake mō te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua. Ka tupu ngā whanaungatanga i runga i te taurite i waenga i te kōrero me te whakarongo; me whakapau kaha ki te whakatutuki i tēnei taurite, engari he pai te hua. Tukua ā mātou kaitohutohu ngaio kia āwhina i a koe ki te whakakī i te āputa kōrero. Whakaritea he wā i tēnei rā, ka mahi i te taahiraa tuatahi ki te mārama me te māramatanga.
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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
He pai!
E ngā wāhine, pānuihia tēnei kia tino mōhio koe!
Ā, e ngā tāne, whakarongo mai ki ā koutou wāhine, kaua e kuware!