He aha te Marena Tautāwhi? Ngā Tohu, Ngā Take, me Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatika

Ko te whakapau kaha ki ngā hiahia o te hoa rangatira, me te whakaaro me whakatika aua hiahia, tētahi o ngā tohu matua o te marena whakawhirinaki-tahi. Heoi, ka warewarehia e te tangata ngā tohu o te whakawhirinaki-tahi mā te kī pēnei i: 

• "He tino motuhake rawa ahau, kāore e taea te whakawhirinaki tahi", rānei 
• "Me pēhea taku whakawhirinaki ki a ia anō ina ko au te tangata e whakawhirinaki atu ana taku hoa ki a ia mō te tautoko me te āwhina?" 

Ahakoa i ahu mai i te whakakorekore, i te kore mārama rānei, ehara te whakawhirinakitanga tahi kāore anō kia whakatauhia i te hauora, i te pumau rānei. Ka taea hoki e ia te arahi ki ngā raruraru whanaungatanga nui, ki te whakarere rānei, rangahau e tohu ana. Nā, me pēhea tātou e kite ai, e whakatika ai hoki i te whakawhirinakitanga o te whanaungatanga? 

I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka kōrerohia e te tohunga hinengaro Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), he tohunga ki te counseling mō te marena me te whānau, e whakamārama ana i te pātai: he aha te āhua o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata, te rerekētanga i waenga i te aroha hauora me te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata. Ka tohaina hoki e ia ngā tauira o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata, me te whakarato tohutohu mō te wikitoria i te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata i roto i te marena.

He aha te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te marena?

I te tuatahi i whakamahia te kupu "whakawhirinaki tahi" hei whakaahua i ngā tauira whanaungatanga o te hunga e aroha ana, e noho tahi ana rānei me te hunga waranga, te hunga waipiro rānei. Inaa, i mōhiotia tuatahitia ēnei tauira e ngā wāhine a Alcoholics Anonymous ngā mema (AA), e ai ki rangahauAhakoa kei te tū tonu taua tauira, e whakaae ana ngā tohunga hinengaro inaianei ko te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata me te wahine te pūtake o ētahi atu whanaungatanga koretake. Nō reira, he aha te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata me te wahine i roto i te marena? Ka taea te whakaahua i te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata me te wahine i roto i te marena hei āhua e:

• Ka tino pukumahi tetahi o ngā hoa ki te tiaki i tetahi atu — tae noa ki te wā ka warewarehia ia e ia anō, ka whara tinana rānei te ngenge o te ngakau
• Ka ringihia e rātou ngā mea katoa ki roto i te whanaungatanga, ka whakakorea ō rātou hiahia, ō rātou rohe, ā, i te mutunga, ko tō rātou ake whakaaro mō rātou anō. 
• Ka whakamārama, ka whakaiti, ka tautoko rānei i ngā whanonga kino a ō rātou hoa 
• E whakaaro ana rātou kei a rātou te kawenga mō ngā kare ā-roto me ngā mahi a tō rātou hoa, ā, e ngana ana ki te whakaora, ki te whakatika, ki te whakahaere rānei i a rātou, i ō rātou raruraru rānei.
• He nui rawa tō rātou aroha ki te whakaaro kia angitu te whanaungatanga, ā, e pai ana rātou ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa kia whiwhi ai i te aro me te aroha e tino rapuhia ana e rātou.
• I roto i te wā, ka pāngia rātou e te whakawhirinaki kino ki ngā whanaungatanga, ka panaia rātou ki roto i te raruraru tuakiri nui. 

He aha te āhua o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata?

He aha te āhua o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi i roto i te marena? "Ki te whakaarohia te marena he hoahoa Venn, ko ngā porowhita e rua e taupatupatu ana i waenganui e tohu ana i tētahi whanaungatanga taurite. Ko te momo e mau tonu ai te wairua hauora o te tuakiri, te mana whaiaro, me te hononga tahi a te tokorua e aroha ana," te kī a Gopa, me te tāpiri, "I roto i te marena whakawhirinakitanga tahi, ka taupatupatu ngā porowhita ki tētahi taumata e ahua hanumi ana."

I konei, ka honoa te tuakiri me te mana o ngā hoa. Nā te mea he whanaungatanga tuku-katoa, he whanaungatanga tango-katoa, he nui hoki te kore taurite o ngā hiahia kua tutukihia. Kāore i rite ki te whanaungatanga ngā whanaungatanga hauora tetahi ki tetahi, ko ngā matea ā-hinengaro me ngā matea ā-tinana o tētahi hoa rangatira te mea e tino whakahaere ana i ngā whanaketanga o te whanaungatanga. Ka puta tēnei nā te mea ina he tokorua ngā tāngata e whakawhirinaki ana ki a rāua i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka tīmata tētahi o rāua:

• Te kore aro ki ngā rohe hauora/te kore e whakatakoto rohe, me te tino aro nui ki tā rātou SO
• Te whakaiti i ō rātou hiahia me te whakarerekē i ō rātou whanonga kia harikoa ai te hoa, kia mau tonu ai te whanaungatanga
• Ka ngenge, ka mauheretia hoki te whanaungatanga i te mea ka tīmata te hoa rangatira ki te whakaaro he tika ki a ia te katoa o tōna wā me tōna kaha; ka tino heke tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō; ā, ka piki ake te manukanuka, te riri, te mauahara, me te ahotea.

He aha te take o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi?

He whanonga ako te whakawhirinaki tahi, ā, ka taea te whai i ngā pūtake ki ngā matea tinana me ngā matea kare ā-roto kāore anō kia tutuki i te tamarikitanga me ngā wheako o te ao tōmua. Anei ngā take e puta ai te whakawhirinaki tahi i roto i ngā whanaungatanga:

• Ngā momo whakatipu tamariki: Ka taea e ngā mātua tiaki nui rawa, me ngā mātua tiaki kore rawa e whakawhanake i ngā tamariki ngā āpitihanga kāore i te haumaru me ngā tohu o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata. Ko ngā tamariki e tino tiakina ana e rapu ana i te whakamanatanga tonu. Kāore hoki rātou e ako ki te whakatau, ki te whakahaere rānei i ō rātou kare ā-roto. He āhuatanga katoa ēnei o te tangata whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata. Ko ngā tamariki kāore i te tiakina ka noho haumaru, kāore e arohaina, ka noho ngoikore hoki nā te korenga o te kupenga haumaru a ngā mātua me te tautoko kare ā-roto. Mā tēnei ka whanake rātou i ngā take whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata pērā i te wehi kei noho mokemoke, kei whakakahoretia rānei, te whakamarie i te hunga e tukino ana i a rātou, te kore rānei e pai ki te tū atu ki ētahi atu. 
• Ngā taiao e whakawhirinaki tahi ana: Mā te tipu ake i roto i ngā mātua he rite tonu te whakawhirinakitanga ki tētahi ki tētahi, ka taea e te tamaiti te whakauru ki roto i ngā whanonga kino i te wā taitamarikitanga, ā, ka whakaata i aua whanonga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha a ngā pakeke. Kairangahau kua kitea hoki te whakarerekētanga o te mahi roro i roto i ngā whānau o te hunga he raruraru whakamahi matū, ā, kua honoa ki ngā aura whakawhirinaki tahi. 
• Te aitua: Akoranga kua kitea ko te mamae o te tamarikitanga, ahakoa nā te kore aro ki te hinengaro, te tukino ā-ira tangata, te tukino ā-hinengaro, ā-waha rānei, te tukino tinana rānei, koinei anō te take o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata. I konei ka whanake te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata hei tikanga hei pupuri i te haumaru, hei whakahaere, hei whakarerekē rānei i ngā kare kino - ahakoa he onge te mahi. 

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11 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o te Whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te Marena

He maha ngā wā kāore te iwi e mōhio kei te taka rātou ki roto i te tauira whakawhirinaki-tahi, kei te uaua rānei ki te kite i ngā āhuatanga o te tangata whakawhirinaki-tahi. Nā te mea he ngāwari te whakapoauau i ngā tohu o te whakawhirinaki-tahi ki te aroha 'tūturu' 'kore here' rānei - i te tīmatanga. Ko te nuinga o tēnei nā te ahurea rongonui, kua tino whakaromantika i te whakaaro o te ngākau nui "e pau ana" me te "ngaro i a koe anō" i roto i te aroha. 

Nā ngā hanganga pāpori anō hoki, he uaua ki te kimi huarahi hei wikitoria i te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata. "He uaua ki te tautuhi i te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata i roto i ngā hapori e tika ana kia 'tiaki' ngā wāhine me ngā whaea i ō rātou whānau, kia pehia hoki ō rātou tuakiri hei 'pai' mō te whānau," te whakamārama a Gopa, "Nā te āhua pāpori, ka whakaaro pea te wahine whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata me noho tonu ia i roto i tana marena, ahakoa te tūkino, nā te mea e whakaaro ana ia he rite tonu ki tōna tuakiri." Nō reira, me pēhea e koe te tautuhi mēnā kei te pāngia koe e te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata i roto i te marena? Mēnā rānei he tāne, he wahine rānei āu e whakawhirinaki ana ki te tangata? Anei ngā tohu whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata tekau mā tahi e kore e taea te hē:

1. Kāore he rerekētanga i waenganui i te 'tātou' me te 'au'

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kaha o te whakawhirinakitanga o te tokorua i roto i te marena: e titiro ana ngā hoa tokorua ki a rāua anō he kotahi, ā, e mahi ana hei kotahi. Ā tōna wā, ka tino honoa ō rāua oranga, ā, ka tino piri te whanaungatanga kāore rātou i te mōhio me pēhea te noho, te mahi rānei hei takitahi. Kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio he aha te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te marena, he aha rānei ngā āhuatanga whakawhirinakitanga o tō whanaungatanga? Pātai atu ki a koe anō: 

• Ka noho ko koe anake me ō hoa/whānau i ētahi wā, kei a koe tonu rānei tō hoa rangatira? 
• He mea hono ōu mea e pai ai, ōu mea kāore e pai ai, ōu hākinakina, ōu hiahia, ōu kare ā-roto, me ōu tirohanga ki te ao o tō hoa?
• He uaua ki a koe te whakatau me te kore ēnei whakatau?
• Kei te ngaro koe, kei te manukanuka rānei mēnā kei te wehe kōrua? Kātahi ka tirotirohia tonutia rātou e koe?

Ki te kore e taea e koe te mārama ko wai koe i waho o tō marena, whakaarohia he haki whero tēnei.

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2. Ko ngā kawenga hē kei roto i ngā tohu o te whakawhirinaki tahi

"Me pēhea taku mōhio mēnā he tangata whakawhirinaki tahi taku hoa rangatira?" "He tangata whakawhirinaki tahi māua i roto i tētahi hononga?" Mēnā koinā tāu e pātai nei, tirohia me pēhea te tohatoha o ngā kawenga. I roto i tētahi marena he āhua whakawhirinaki tahi, ko te kawenga o ngā kawenga ka taka ki runga i tētahi hoa rangatira, ā, ko te mutunga iho:

• Te tiaki i ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō oranga tahi
• Te whakarite i ngā mahere katoa 
• Te tango i ngā mea ngoikore katoa, ā,
• Te whakaoti i ngā mea katoa ngā raruraru i roto i te whanaungatanga me ō koutou oranga takitahi hoki  

Tērā pea ka mea koe ki a koe anō kei te "mahi katoa" koe, kei te "whakahaere" rānei rātou i ngā mea katoa nā te aroha. Heoi, ko tā tēnei mahi he whakahohe i ngā tauira me ngā whanonga kāore e hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, i tētahi marena hauora rānei.

3. Kotahi te ara o te hara me te whakapae

Kāore i te whai take te hara o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi. He ara kotahi anō hoki. Ka whakama te tangata whakawhirinakitanga tahi, ka kino rawa rānei mō ngā mea kāore i mahia e ia, ā, kāore e taea te whakahaere, te whakarerekē rānei. Ahakoa ngā mea he he nō tōna hoa. Nō reira, ina pāngia tōna hoa e te DUI, ka whakaaro ia he kawenga mōna. Ka whakaaro rānei ia me pēhea e taea ai e ia te mahi i tētahi mea hei ārai i taua mea. 

Ki te wareware tā rātou hoa ki te tiki i ngā tamariki i te kura, kaua e whakapae i a rātou, ka whiua e rātou anō mō ​​te kore whakamahara i a rātou. He maha ngā wā ka whakamahia e ā rātou hoa tēnei tikanga hei karo i ngā whakapae katoa. Ka whakapae rānei i a rātou kia whiwhi i tā rātou e hiahia ana. Ina whakaaro tetahi o te hoa rangatira ko ia te kawenga mō ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki tetahi atu, ina tukua rānei e tā rātou hoa rangatira kia pērā te whakaaro, koinei tētahi o ngā tauira tino kitea o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi i roto i te marena.

Te pānui e pā ana: He momo tukino te whakama i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?

4. Te huna i ngā whanonga kino a tō hoa rangatira

He aha te āhua o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi? I ētahi wā, penei te āhua:   

• Ina he te whanonga a tetahi o ngā hoa rangatira i muri i te haurangi i tētahi pāti, ka hipokina e tetahi atu, ka rapu whakamārama rānei mō rāua
• Ki te ngaro te moni nui a tetahi hoa i te petipeti, ki te mahi rānei i tētahi atu momo mahi petipeti te puremu moni, pērā i te nui haere o te nama kāri nama, ka keri tetahi ki roto i ā rātou penapena hei whakaora i a rātou

I roto i ēnei momo whanaungatanga, ka ārai tetahi o te hoa rangatira i tetahi atu i ngā hua o ā rāua mahi. I ētahi wā, ka puta mai tēnei i te utu o te whakahaere i tōna hinengaro, te takahi rānei i te ture. Ā, ka puta mai i te wehi kei tū atu, kei whakapataritari, kei pouri, kei ngaro rānei tōna hoa rangatira. Ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga ōrite, kia mahara, he pakeke tō hoa rangatira, ā, me mōhio ia he hua ō āna mahi me āna whakataunga.

Hei wawahi i te tauira, me tuku e koe tō hoa ki te whakatika i ā rāua raruraru, kaua e ngana ki te whakaoti rapanga katoa mā rāua.

Gopa Khan, kaiwhakaora hinengaro

5. Ka murua e tetahi hoa te hara, ā, ka murua hoki e ia te hara

Ahakoa te murunga hara i roto i ngā whanaungatanga He mea nui, ka tino nui rawa atu i roto i te whanaungatanga tautāwhi. Ka noho ko te mana anake o te hoa kotahi. Ka murua e te hunga tautāwhi tetahi ngā hē katoa, ngā hapa katoa, ngā hapa katoa a tō rātou hoa, me te kore e whakapae i a rātou.

E ai ki a Gopa, i ahu mai tēnei i te wehi kei whakarērea, kei noho mokemoke hoki. Nō reira, ka murua tonutia e rātou te hara o tā rātou hoa rangatira, me te tumanako ka kite rātou i te hē o ā rātou mahi, ka huri rānei. Engari ki te kore rātou e whakawakia mō ā rātou mahi, he aha rātou ka pērā ai?

6. I roto i te marena tautāwhi, ehara te huringa i te mea pai ake 

Ka whanake haere tātou katoa i te taha o te wā, ā, kāore e taea e tetahi te kī ko ia tonu te tangata i mua i te 5, 10, 20 rānei tau ki muri. Engari, ki te rua ngā tāngata e whakawhirinaki ana ki a rātou anō i roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore tēnei huringa e pai ake. Kia mārama tātou me pēhea. Ina tirohia e koe te āhua o te whakawhirinaki ki a rātou anō, ka kitea e koe tētahi mea e ngaro ana - ko te kupu kāo.

Ka hokohoko te hunga whakawhirinaki tahi i te whakaute i a rātou anō mō ​​te whakamana. E hiahia ana rātou ki te whakaae ki ngā mea katoa e hiahiatia ana e tō rātou hoa. He nui hoki te wā e pau ana i a rātou ki te kanikani ki ngā kare ā-roto o tō rātou hoa, me te whakawhirinaki tahi i ngā kare ā-roto, ā, ka ngaro te pānga ki ō rātou kare ā-roto. I te mutunga, ka mutu rātou ki he iti te kiritau.

Ka tanumia hohonutia ō rātou whakaaro, ō rātou whakaaro, ō rātou kare ā-roto, me ō rātou tuakiri, ā, kāore e taea te toro atu ki a rātou — ahakoa e hiahia ana rātou. Ko te kore e kī kāo, ko te tuku i tētahi kia tohutohu i ō kare ā-roto me ō mahi, ko te whakapāha mō ngā mea kāore i a koe te kawenga mōna, ko te kore aro ki te tiaki i a koe anō — he tohu katoa ēnei kei te tuku atu koe i tō mana, ā, he tohu anō hoki tēnei mō te tuku atu i ētahi wāhanga o koe. Ā, kāore he whanaungatanga e tika ana mō tēnā.

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7. He kaitiaki tonu, he patunga tonu

Mai i tawhiti, te āhua nei kei te tino aroha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakawhirinaki ana ki a rāua anō. Engari ki te titiro tata atu, ka kitea ko tētahi o rāua te nuinga o te aroha me te manaaki. Ko taua hoa te kaitiaki/kaituku, ā, ko tētahi te kaiwhiu/kaiwhiu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea e wehewehe ana i ēnei tāne me ēnei wāhine ko: 

• Kāore tetahi o ngā hoa e wehe atu i tā rāua mahi. Kāore he te tauutuutu, te hoatu me te tango hauora rānei 
• He kore taurite te mana e kitea ana i te wā e noho ngohengohe ana tetahi ki tetahi, e patu ana i a ia anō me tōna oranga i runga i te ingoa o te aroha kore whakaaro – tae noa ki te ngenge rawa.
• E rua ngā tāngata whakawhirinaki tahi i roto i te whanaungatanga e whāngai ana tetahi i tetahi tauira kino  

8. E ngaro ana te tangata hoatu i te mea kāore he 'kaiwhakaora'

Whakaarohia tēnei āhuatanga. Ka whakatau tō hoa rangatira ki te whakarērea te waipiro, te whakamahi rānei i ngā matū kino, ka uru atu ki te whare whakaora. Tērā rānei, ka tīmata rātou ki te mahi hei hoa rangatira e taea ai te tautoko i a koe, e tautoko ana i a koe. Engari, i te kore e whai tumanako me te whakamarie i tēnei huringa o ngā kaupapa, ka ngaro koe, ka ngaro hoki. 

Ko te manaaki me te whakaora i tētahi hoa rangatira te kaupapa matua o te oranga o te tangata e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia anō. E ngaro ana rātou i te korenga o taua hoa rangatira.

Ehara i te mea onge te taka o te tangata hoatu, te tangata whakaora rānei i roto i te marena whakawhirinaki-tahi ki roto i te pouri, ki te riri rānei ina whakatau tā rātou hoa ki te tīmata ki te whakapau kaha ki te whakapai ake. Tērā pea ka hangaia e rātou he raruraru kia taea ai e rātou te mau anō i te pōtae whakaora. Ehara hoki i te mea onge te neke atu o te tangata āwhina i te marena ki te kimi i tētahi atu hei 'whakaora'.

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9. Ko te wehi kei noho mokemoke koe ka noho pūmau i roto i te marena

E 30 tau te pakeke o Sharon (ingoa kua hurihia) ā, e piki haere ana ōna āwangawanga mātua mō tōna āhua kore marena i tana tūtakitanga ki a Jared, kua moe wahine kē. Nāna ia i whakatenatena kia moe rāua. Heoi anō, i muri tata mai i te marena, ka tahuri a Jared ki te tukino i a ia mā te kōrero me te tinana. Ahakoa i mōhio a Sharon ki te tukino, i noho tonu ia i roto i te whakakahore. I whakaaro ia he kawenga mō tōna āhuatanga, ā, i whakaaro ia me 'whakaae' ia i te wehi kei noho mokemoke ia.

"Koinei tētahi o ngā āhuatanga tawhito o te whakawhirinaki tahi i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ina whakaaro te tangata kāore e taea e rātou te whai oranga kē atu i tērā e noho nei rātou," te kī a Gopa, "Ko ngā tauira o ngā taiohi e ngana ana ki te whakamomori i te wā e pakaru ana tā rātou whanaungatanga nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore e taea e rātou te anga whakamua i roto i te ao me te kore taua whanaungatanga he tauira anō hoki o te whakawhirinaki tahi. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he mea nui te tohutohu hei kite i ngā tauira o ngā whanaungatanga hauora me ngā whanaungatanga hauora kore."

Mō te hunga e whakawhirinaki ana ki a rātou anō, he maha ngā wā ka ngoikore te wehi o te noho mokemoke. Ka taea e tēnei te arahi i a rātou ki te whakaae ki tētahi mea hauora, ki tētahi mea rānei e kore e pai ana ki a rātou. te whanau paitini ā, ka whakapau kaha ki te whakatika, ki te whakahaere hoki i te raruraru. Heoi anō, kāore e taea te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga mēnā kāore i te whakatikahia ngā tauira kua hē i te tuatahi.

10. Ko ngā raruraru whakahaere me te manukanuka he tohu matua o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi

Kei te whakahaere ngā tāngata whakawhirinaki tahi? Tērā pea. He maha ngā wā e hono ana ngā take whakawhirinaki tahi me te whakahaere. Ka akiakihia te kaituku ki te whakahaere i ngā mea katoa - he whanonga ako mai i te tipu ake i roto i ngā taiao koretake, pōrearea rānei, ka waiho i a rātou kia kore e taea te whakahaere. He nui rawa hoki tō rātou manukanuka, ahakoa kei te pai ngā mea. Ā, kei te tatari tonu rātou kia taka te hu kē atu nā te mea koinei te tauira kua taunga rātou. I taua wā, ko te tangata e tango ana i roto i te whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki tahi, e pai ana ki te tuku i te mana katoa i te tīmatanga engari ka riri i muri mai.

11. He uaua ki ngā hoa rangatira e whakawhirinaki tahi ana ki te wehe 

E mōhio ana koe kei te hē tetahi mea i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Ko te manukanuka, te riri, te mauahara rānei e horapa ana, kāore e taea te wareware. Engari kāore e taea e koe te whakamanawanui ki tēnei mea. whakarērea te marena ā, tīmata hou. Nā te mea pea:

• Mā te whakaaro noa ki te wehe atu ka whakakīia koe e te hara me te whakama 
• Kua whakamanahia e koe e kore e taea e tō hoa te ora me te kore koe. Nō reira, ko te whakaaro ki te whakahoki mai i tō oranga ka rite ki te whakangaro i tō rātou, ki te kore rānei 
• Kua tino pūmau te whakaaro ko te oranga o tō hoa te kawenga mōu, ā, kua tata kore e taea te wehe atu i a rātou ko koe anake.

"Koinei te wāhanga tino uaua o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata i roto i te marena, he pono pea kāore e taea e te tangata te noho tahi me te kore tana hoa rangatira. Engari, mā te wehenga atu o tana hoa rangatira ka āwhina pea i te tangata ngoikore ki te eke ki te 'tino raro' me te rapu i te āwhina e hiahiatia ana e ia. Heoi anō, ka pā kino te whakawhirinakitanga ki te hauora hinengaro, ki tō hauora hinengaro me te hauora o ō whanaunga," te kī a Gopa. Koia te take he mea nui te mārama ki te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata, inā koa ngā tohu o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata, me te rapu huarahi hei whakatika. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu Whakahē o te Hononga Whakawhirinaki

Ka taea te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki-tahi? 6 ngā tohutohu tautoko a ngā tohunga hei āwhina

He pai te whanaungatanga i roto i te marena? Kāore rawa. Ki te kore te aroha e rere i ngā taha e rua, ā, e rere ōrite ana i roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore e taea te kī he pai. Kāore hoki e taea te kī he aroha tūturu. Nō reira, ka taea te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga whanaungatanga? Ka taea e te tokorua te wikitoria i te whakawhirinakitanga tahiĀe, mēnā ka kitea wawe ngā tohu me ngā wāhanga o te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tokorua, ā, ka rapua he āwhina ngaio, he tohutohu rānei mō te marena, e ai ki tēnei ako. 

Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te mārama me pēhea te karo i te whakawhirinaki tahi, me pēhea rānei te whakaiti i te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa, he tohutohu tā Gopa mō te whakarērea i te whakawhirinaki kino, te whakaora i te marena whakawhirinaki tahi, me te hanga whanaungatanga hauora:

1. Whakahokia tō tuakiri

"He mea nui te arotahi ki te whakawhanake i tō ake tuakiri, tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, me te ariā mōu ake, hei whakakotahi i te panga o te huarahi hei wikitoria i te whakawhirinakitanga ki a koe anō," te kī a Gopa. Hei mahi i tēnā, me:

• Whakaritea he wā mōku ake 
• Kia mau tonu ō hoa, ō hiahia, me ō mahi takitahi 
• Puta atu i te rohe whakamarie o tō whanaungatanga, kia tau te noho motuhake

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Tohu Kei te Ngaro Koe i a Koe Anō i roto i tētahi Hononga, Me Ngā Hipanga e 5 Hei Kimi Anō i a Koe Anō

2. Arotahi ki te tiaki whaiaro

"Ko te tauira tiaki e kitea ana i roto i ngā tāngata e whakawhirinaki ana ki a koe anō ka tīmata i te tamarikitanga. Mā te whakamahi i ngā pūkenga ōrite hei tiaki i a koe anō ka āwhina i te whakaiti i ngā ahotea me te hanga anō i tō whakapono me tō whakaaro ki a koe anō," te kī a Gopa. Hei karo i te whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō me te aroha ki tētahi tae noa ki te ngenge, ngana ki te: 

• Kia atawhai ake koe ki a koe anō, ā, ako ki te aroha koe
• Tūhurahia ō uara matua me ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe mai i tētahi whanaungatanga
• Whakamātauria te whakapuaki i tāu e hiahia ana, me te tirotiro i ō kare ā-roto i ia wā, i ia wā

3. Hurihia te āhua o tāu kawenga, me tāu mahi ehara nei

E ai ki a Gopa, kia mōhio ai koe ki te huarahi hei wikitoria i ngā kōrero teka e pā ana ki te whakawhirinaki tahi, me:

• Whakaaetia kāore koe e whai kawenga mō ngā mahi a tō hoa
• Kati te whakaaro ko koe anake ka taea te whakatika i ō rātou raruraru
• Kaua e tukua ō whanaunga kia whakawhirinaki ki a koe, ā, kia kore rawa e taea e rātou te tiaki i a rātou anō.
• Kia mārama mēnā he tangata tukino, he tangata whakamahi matū, he tangata tinihanga rānei, ko rātou anake te kawenga mō ā rātou whanonga.
• Whakarerea te āhua o te whakama, te huna rānei i tō āhuatanga mai i ētahi atu mema o te whānau 

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tauira o ngā Rohe Kare ā-roto i roto i ngā Hononga

4. Whakatakotoria he rohe

Mena kei te whakaaro koe, "Ka taea te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki-tahi?", kia mōhio koe kāore e taea te mahi mena kāore he rohe hauora. "Kia kore rā anō e whakaaetia kia pōuri ngā rohe, ka noho tonu te hunga whakawhirinaki-tahi ki te kore āwhina me te kore mana whakahaere i roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga," te kī a Gopa. Hei whakatika i te whakawhirinaki-tahi me te tiaki i a koe anō, me ako koe ki te whai whakaaro nui, me te whakatakoto rohe mō tō wā, tō wāhi whaiaro, tō kaha, ō pūtea, me ngā whanonga ka whakaaetia e koe, me ngā whanonga kāore e whakaaetia e koe. 

5. Whakamutua ngā tauira hauora kore

Ko te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga i roto i te marena ehara i te mea ko te whakamutu i te marena, engari ko te karo i ngā tauira whanaungatanga, me te whakakapi i aua tauira ki ngā tauira hauora. Hei whakatika i te marena whanaungatanga, me mahi pea koe i ēnei: 

• Pātai atu he aha koe i whakaae ai ki tētahi mea, me te mea kei a koe te wā/te kaha mōna, kaua e whakaae tonu atu.
• Whakarērea te hiahia kia tino tika, ka whakatakoto i ngā tumanakohanga pono mōu ake, mō tō hoa, me te whanaungatanga
• Tukua tō hoa rangatira kia whakatau i ōna ake raruraru 

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakatika i tētahi Hononga Paitini – 21 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaora Ngātahi

6. Rapua he awhina

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wikitoria i te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata, ā, ehara hoki te ara ki te ora i te mea rārangi, i te mea tere, i te mea ngāwari rānei. Hei whakatere angitu i te raruraru o te wikitoria i te whakawhirinakitanga ki te tangata, me whakawhanake e koe ngā rautaki whakatau, me wawahi i ngā tauira tawhito, me te huri i ngā whakaaro kino. Tērā pea me whai rongoā koe mō tēnā.

Mena kei te rapu āwhina koe, kei reira ngā tāngata whai wheako ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mō Bonote rōpū o te bology e harikoa ana ki te āwhina i a koe. Te whakauru atu ki tētahi rōpū tautoko, pērā i au noa mā te Alcoholics Anonymous rānei koe e āwhina ki te whiwhi tirohanga ā-waho me te whakatau i te whakawhirinakitanga ki a koe anō.

E ai ki a Gopa, ko te tukanga whakaora i tētahi marena whakawhirinaki-tahi ka tīmata noa i te wā ka tīmata koe ki te kimi anō i a koe anō me te arotahi ki a koe anō me ō hiahia. "I te tīmatanga, he uaua pea te ako me pēhea te whawhai ki te whakawhirinaki-tahi me te wawahi angitu i ngā tauira tawhito. Koinei te wāhi ka taea e te rapu rongoā te āwhina i a koe kia noho tonu ki te huarahi tika me te noho mataara ki ngā mahanga o te whakahaere i tētahi marena whakawhirinaki-tahi me te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora."

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