15 Ngā Tohu o te Mārenatanga ki tētahi Tangata Whakahīhī, me pēhea te Whakatutuki i tēnei āhuatanga

"Ko te tikanga matua mō te whakatutukitanga o te aroha ko te wikitoria i te whakapehapeha o te tangata," te kī a te tohunga hinengaro a Erich Fromm i roto i tana pukapuka rongonui ko The Art of Loving. Ā, he tika tana. I te mea he nui ō rātou whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō me te hiahia kia pāngia rātou e te tangata, ka whakaaro tātou mēnā ka taea e te hunga whakapehapeha te aroha pono ki tetahi, kaua ki ō rātou hoa. Ka whakaaro hoki tātou he aha te āhua o te marena ki te tangata whakapehapeha. Heoi anō, he mamae te meinga kia rite ki te tangata iti iho i a rātou e te hoa.

I roto i tēnei tuhinga, kua ngana mātou ki te whakautu i ētahi o ō pātai nui mō te noho tahi me te hoa rangatira whakahihi, me ngā pānga o te marena me te hoa rangatira whakahihi. Me te āwhina a tā mātou tohunga hinengaro. Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), he tohunga ki te CBT, REBT, me te kaunihera mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ka tuhia hoki e mātou ētahi tohutohu hei whakatau i te hoa rangatira whakahihi. Nō reira, kaua e moumou taima, engari me ruku tika atu ki…

15 Ngā Tohu o te Mārena ki tētahi Tangata Whakahīhī

He pēhea te mahi a te hunga whakahihi ki ō rātou hoa? ako 2016 i kīia ko te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi ka kino ake tō whanaungatanga i te roanga o te wā. Nō reira, tera pea kāore e whakaatuhia e tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei ngā tohu o te tukino whakahihi i tōna tīmatanga, ko te tikanga ka roa pea te wā e puta katoa ai ngā āhuatanga whakahihi. Ka hua ake tēnei i te pikinga o te koretake o te marena me te hekenga o te pai o te marena.

Engari, i aro anake te rangahau ki ngā wāhine whakapehapeha, e whakaatu ana hoki i te meka he maha ngā āhuatanga ka mawhiti ngāwari i ngā tāne, nā te mea ko te tāne he rangatira, he whakapehapeha hoki, tera pea e whakaaetia ana e te hapori e whakahaerehia ana e ngā tāne.

A Reddit kaiwhakamahi i pāngia ia e tētahi wheako ōrite, ā, i kī ia, "I moe ahau i tētahi tangata whakahihi, ā, kāore i mōhiotia e au tae noa ki taku wehenga atu i a ia." Te āhua nei i whakahaere tana tāne i a ia i ia taahiraa, mai i te take i "taka ai e ia ngā tauera he" ki te take i "taka ai e ia ngā kai" he he rānei, i te whai wā "kōtiro" kounga rānei. Nō reira, he mea nui kia mōhio ki ngā āhuatanga o tētahi tāne whakahihi wahine rānei i mua i te puta o ngā āhuatanga kino. Kei raro nei ngā tohu 15 e whakaatu ana i te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi:

1. He ātaahua rātou, i te tīmatanga

Ko tētahi huarahi ki te mārama ki te tuakiri o te tangata whakapehapeha ko te mōhio nui ki ngā mea ka taea e ia i te tīmatanga tonu o te whanaungatanga. nandita e mea ana, "I te tīmatanga o te marena, ka nui te aro ki a koe. Ka ataahua, ka atawhai hoki rātou, ā, ka whakapau kaha ki te kukume i a koe. Nō reira, ka kite koe i ētahi tauira mārama o whanonga whakahihi i ngā rā tuatahi o tō mārenatanga. Hei tauira, ko te tangata whakahihi te mea pea:

• Ka haria koe ki ngā rā utu nui
• Whakaharikoa koe ki ngā koha ohorere, ki ngā rōhi, ki ngā whakapaipai rānei
• Whakaritea he hararei papai ki a koe
• Ringihia ō rātou whakamoemiti me ō rātou aro ki a koe, ā, whakapaua he wā kounga ki a koe.

2. Ka kite koe i te panonitanga āta o ā rātou whanonga

Ko tētahi tauira o te whanonga whakahihi i roto i te whanaungatanga, ina haere tonu te whanaungatanga, ā, kua riro koe i te tangata whakahihi, ka kitea e koe te memeha haere o te ataahua. Engari, ka kite koe i a rātou e whakahihi ana, me te kore e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o tā rātou hoa. E mea ana a Nandita, "Tērā pea ka kitea he panoni nui i roto i te whanonga o te tangata whakahihi, ā, tera pea ka mutu te whakahari i a koe i ngā wā katoa."

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3. Ka kite koe i ngā whakahē me te whakahekenga uara

I te taha o te panonitanga ngawari o te whanonga, ka kitea e koe kei te piki haere tonu rātou hei kaitukino nui māu, engari ehara i te mea hauora, i te mea whai hua rānei. E kī ana a Nandita, "Ka tīmata rātou ki te whakahē, ki te whakaiti rānei i a koe i te iti rawa o te raruraru, ā, koira te wā ka mōhio koe kua moe koe i tētahi tangata whakahihi, he āhuatanga tawhito tēnei o te tukino whakahihi." Nō reira, he maha ngā wā ka kitea e koe tō hoa whakahihi:

• Te tawai i a koe i mua i ētahi atu
• Te whakahē me te tuku kōrero whakatoi mō tō āhua kakahu, ō āhua, ō hiahia, ō whiringa mahi rānei

4. E whakaatu ana rātou i ngā huringa whakahihi noa o te whakahē me te whanonga ataahua

Ko te mea tino whakamere o te hoa whakapehapeha ko tā rātou kore e mutu te whakaiti i a koe. Ka haere tonu rātou ki te whakanui i a koe, kātahi ka whakaiti i a koe, ka noho tonu koe i roto i aua wā poto nei ka rongo koe e aroha ana rātou ki a koe. I tēnei wā, kāore rātou e pena.

Ka tāpiri atu a Nandita, "Nō reira, i roto i ēnei huringa whanonga whakahihi pōhēhē i roto i tō marena, ka hiahia pea koe ki te whakahē ina kore rātou e atawhai tika i a koe, engari ina tīmata rātou ki te whakakino i a koe i ngā mahi aroha pai iti, ka mau tonu koe ki a rātou, ka hiahia hoki kia mau tonu rātou i roto i tō koiora, ka uaua ai ki a koe te mawhiti atu i te tukino whakahihi."

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5. E kitea ana tō rātou aroha ki a rātou anō

Ko tētahi atu tauira o te whanonga whakapehapeha i roto i te whanaungatanga, ahakoa te whakaaro o ngā hoa aroha whakapehapeha e aroha ana ki a koe, e manaaki ana rānei i a koe, ko rātou anake e aro ana ki a rātou anō. Inaa, he hononga tahi te whakapehapeha me te whakapehapeha. Nō reira, kaua e taka ki ngā kōrero reka e kōrerotia ana e rātou i mua tata tonu i te hiahia kia mahia e koe tetahi mea mā rātou. He mea noa iho tēnei whawhe aroha.

Ka tāpiri atu a Nandita, "Ko tā te tangata whakahihi whaiaro anake e hiahia ana ko te whāngai i tōna whakapehapeha. Nō reira, ko ia mahi iti a rātou e anga atu ana ki tēnā, me te kore e manukanuka ki te pānga o ā rātou whanonga ki tō rātou hoa. Ka kitea hoki e koe ko te nuinga o ā rātou kōrero e aro ana ki a rātou."

Ko te mea nui ko te mōhio ki te hiranga o tā rātou tauira i te kura, te utu nui o tā rātou mahi, me te whakamoemiti a te tangata ki a rātou. He pai ki a rātou te whakamanamana mō rātou anō, ā, ko ā rātou whakatutukitanga te mea nui.

6. He 'rahi rawa' tō rātou whakaaro mō te mana motuhake

E mea ana a Nandita, "Ko tētahi atu tohu o te whanonga whakapehapeha i roto i te marena ko te whakaaro o te hoa whakapehapeha he tika ia mōna." Nō reira, ko te hunga whakapehapeha ka whakapono ko ngā mea katoa me te katoa he mea mō rātou, ā, hei whakatutuki i a rātou.

I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ehara i te mea nui ki a rātou mēnā ka tunua e koe tā rātou kai tino pai mā rātou, ka whakakakahu rānei i a rātou ki ngā kākahu moe whakahirahira. Kāore rātou i te tino harikoa, i te tino whakawhetai rānei mō tēnā, nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou ko tō kawenga te mea kia harikoa rātou, kia makona hoki ō rātou whakapehapeha. Kāore rātou e maioha ki a koe, ki ō mahi rānei. Inaa, koinei tētahi o ngā āhuatanga noa o te tāne, o te wahine rānei e whakapehapeha ana.

7. Kāore rātou e tuku tautoko kare ā-roto

E whakapono ana a Nandita, "I roto i ngā marena roa, me whai ngā hoa i te whakatutukitanga o te kare ā-roto me te tinana kia tino makona ai te whanaungatanga. Ā, ko te tangata whakahihi te tuatahi ki te kore e tuku tautoko kare ā-roto ki tā rātou hoa rangatira. Inaa, ko rātou kore aroha"Nō reira, tērā pea kāore koe e kite i tētahi hoa whakapehapeha e whakarongo ana ki ō amuamu kare ā-roto, e tuku ana rānei i ētahi kōrero whakatenatena, i ētahi kōrero kare ā-roto rānei ina:

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• Kei te raru koe i tētahi raruraru i tō wāhi mahi
• He uaua ki a koe te aro atu ki ngā mate o ō mātua kua kaumātuatia
• He rā kino noa iho tōu, ā, kua taumaha rawa koe i te ao whānui

8. Kāore rātou e whakaae ki te kawenga

Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua o te katoa ngā raruraru marena whakahihi Ko te take, kāore rātou e whakaae ki te kawenga mō ā rātou mahi. Koinei hoki tētahi o ngā tauira nui o te whanonga whakapehapeha. Ka tāpiri atu a Nandita, "Ka whakapae te hoa whakapehapeha i a koe mō tetahi mea, mō tetahi raruraru rānei e puta ana i roto i te whanaungatanga. Kāore rātou e pouri, ā, kāore hoki e whakapāha mō ā rātou mahi. He he tonu nō tētahi atu."

Nō reira, nāu te he mēnā kei te pakaru tō kōrua marena nā āna mahi whakaipoipo, nā te mea, kāore pea i taea e kōrua te pupuri i tā kōrua tāne, kāore rānei i te tino ātaahua. Nāu te he mēnā kei te memeha haere ō kōrua pūtea hei tokorua, nā te mea me whakaiti e kōrua ō whakapaunga, ā, kāore ō kōrua haerenga ki te whare inu, ki te toa hokohoko rānei i te mea nui pērā i āna whakapaunga.

9. Ka hī ika rātou mō ngā mihi

E mea ana a Nandita, "Ko te tangata whakapehapeha, ahakoa kua moe tāne, he tangata e hiahia ana ki ngā mihi." Nō reira, ko te kī noa "Hei, he ātaahua tō āhua" mai i tētahi hoa ka pā ki tōna hinengaro, ka whakaaro ko ia te tangata tino ātaahua o te ao.

Ahakoa he tangata whakahihi kua marenatia, e kore e mutu te whakaatu i tōna whakapehapeha i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, i ngā huihuinga pāpori rānei, nā te mea me whāngai ō rātou whakapehapeha ki ngā mihi ohorere. Ka tupu pai rātou i te whakamanahia engari kāore e tino harikoa ina whiwhi mihi, nā te mea e whakapono ana rātou he tika kia mihia rātou. Tērā pea ka takaro noa rātou kia mōhio ai he motuhake rātou, nā te mea he hononga tahi te whakahihi me te tinihanga.

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10. He pai ki a rātou te whakamahi i te rama hau

Ko te whakahāwea i te tangata kei runga rawa i te rārangi o ngā tauira tukino whanaungatanga whakahihi. Ko te whakahāwea i te tangata ko te mea ka meinga koe e tetahi kia ruarua i tō hinengaro mā roto i ā rātou mahi tinihanga me ngā kōrero teka, hei huri noa i te whakapae ki a koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā raruraru marena whakahihi tino kitea.

Ā, tērā pea he mea ngāwari noa iho, pērā i te wareware ki te tiki i ngā tamariki i te kura i te wā kāore tō hoa rangatira i whakamōhio atu ki a koe kei te pukumahi ia me āna hoa i taua rā. Tērā pea ka tono te tāne rangatira e whakahihi ana i ōna mātua kia noho ki tō whare mō te marama, kātahi ka whakapae i a koe mō te nui rawa o te tauhohenga ki te raruraru ohorere.

11. Ka whakahaeretia koe e rātou

A wahine whakahihi E rite ana te tāne ki a koe ki tētahi taonga takaro, ā, e maha ana te whakahaere i a koe hei painga mō rātou. Nō reira, ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga piripono me tētahi tangata whakahihi, ka mutu ka whakatutuki koe i āna hiahia katoa, me te kore e mōhio. Hei tauira, ka tapaina pea koe e rātou he "tangata hinga" he "matea" rānei ki te whakaiti i ō hiahia, ka whakaatu i ā rātou hiahia, kia tutuki ai tā rātou e hiahia ai. Nō reira, tera pea ka mataku rawa koe ki te whakahē ahakoa ka kite koe i a rātou e takaro ana, kei whakarērea koe e rātou, kei puta rānei koe he tino kare ā-roto, he matea nui.

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12. Tērā pea ka tukuna e rātou he wā ki a koe kia noho puku

Ko tētahi o ngā patu whakamate rawa atu i roto i te marena whakapehapeha ko te maimoatanga pukuNō reira, i ngā wā katoa kāore e tutuki i a rātou tā rātou e pai ai, ka pāngia tō rātou whakaaro nui ngoikore, ā, ka akiaki rātou i a koe kia mahi i runga i ō rātou hiahia mā te kore whakarongo ki a koe. Tērā pea ka whakamahi rātou i ētahi atu tikanga tukino whanaungatanga whakahihi, pērā i te kati i te tatau, te neke ki tētahi atu rūma, me te kore aro ki ō tirohanga me te menemene, te pakipaki rānei.

13. Ka whakawehi rātou i a koe

I te nuinga o te wā, ka whakawehi pea te tangata whakahihi i a koe mō te kore e whai i ō rātou hiahia, i ō rātou hiahia rānei. Nō reira, ki te kite koe i tētahi hoa whakahihi e whakawehi ana ki te waiho te hononga, ki te whakawhāiti i tō urunga atu ki tā rātou moni, ki te mutu rānei te tuku i a koe kia tūtaki ki ō hoa, ki te kore koe e mahi i tētahi mea mā rātou, e mōhio ana koe kua tae te wā ki te haere.

I roto tētahi o aku hoa, a Rita, i tētahi whanaungatanga tukino me tētahi tangata whakahihi. I tino aro nui tana tāne ki tana ake mahi me tōna mana pāpori, ā, i rite ia ki tētahi hoa rangatira hei hoa haere māna ki ngā huihuinga pāpori. He maha āna tawai ki a ia mō te taumaha haere, ā, he maha āna whakawehi ki te whakarērea i a ia mēnā kāore ia e whakaiti i tōna taumaha. I te mutunga ka whakarerea a Rita, nā te mea kua pāngia tōna hauora hinengaro e te tukino kare ā-roto.

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14. Ka whakanuia e rātou

Ko tētahi o te nga ahuatanga narcissistic Ko te mea nui, kei te rite tonu rātou ki ā rātou kōrero whakanui rawa. He mea whakamīharo, he pai tonu te whakanui rawa ina kōrerotia rātou, engari he kino tonu ina kōrerotia ētahi atu. Nō reira, ko tētahi raruraru iti ki a rātou ka whakanuia hei hapa nui.

Hei tauira, ki te tunu koe i tētahi rihi, ā, ki tā rātou he tino pīrangi rawa, ka mahi pea rātou me te mea kua pāngia rātou e te mate i muri i te kai i te rihi, ā, ka whakapae i a koe mō te whakapōrearea i a rātou. Waihoki, ka riri rātou mō te mihi kotahi i riro mai i tētahi hoa i tētahi huihuinga pāpori. Ka whakaatu pea rātou me te mea kua tahaetia e rātou te whakaaturanga i te huihuinga.

15. Ka whakakorea e rātou ō rātou kare ā-roto kino

Ehara i te mea pono kāore te hunga whakahihi e kare ā-roto. Ae, ka kare ā-roto rātou. He tangata anō hoki rātou. Nō reira, me pēhea te mahi a te hunga whakahihi ki ō rātou hoa ina riri, ina pouri, ina pouri rānei rātou? Āe, ina pāngia te hunga whakahihi e te mamae, e te kino rānei o ngā kare ā-roto, ka nekehia, ka tukuna rānei ki ētahi atu, ko te nuinga ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a rātou, pērā i ō rātou hoa.

Mena he wahine whakahihi tōu, ka ngana pea rātou ki te whakaiti i a koe, ki te whakama hoki i a koe. Mā tēnei ka whakangaro i tō hauora hinengaro.

Ngā Huarahi e Pā ai te Mārena ki te Tangata Whakahīhī ki a Koe

Nā te mea kua mōhio tātou ki ngā mea hei tumanako atu mā te hoa rangatira i roto i te marena, tera pea koe e whakaaro ana he aha te pānga o taua marena ki a koe. Heoi anō, ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho tahi me te tangata he nui rawa tōna whakaaro mōna ake, ā, he tikanga hoki ki te whakaiti i te hunga e karapoti ana i a ia.

Tirohia te pūkete a tētahi Reddit kaiwhakamahi, hei tauira. E kī ana ia, "I huri ahau mai i te tangata māia ki te tangata kāore i te māia, he iti te whakaaro ki a ia anō, he hiahia tonu ki te whakamanawareka i te tangata, ā, kei te noho mokemoke tonu." Ā, e kī ana tēnei tangata kua ono tau ia e moe ana ki tētahi tangata whakahihi. Āe, koinei te āhua o te tukino a te tangata whakahihi, ā, ka taea e aua momo marena te whakangaro i tō tuakiri i te wā roa. Anei ētahi pānga roa o te moe ki tētahi tangata whakahihi:

• Ka waiho koe hei mokemoke: E mea ana a Nandita, "Ka tae mai tētahi wā i roto i tō marena ka noho mokemoke koe nā te mea ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga o te hoa rangatira whakahihi ko te kore pea e hono atu ki ngā kare ā-roto." Hei tāpiri, ka whakamātauria koe e rātou kia noho tawhiti atu i ō whānau me ō hoa. Tērā pea ka waiho koe e tēnei mokemoke he koretake, ā, tērā pea ka rite koe ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi marena kāore he hoa rangatira.
• Ka whakangaro i tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō: Koinei te mea e kiia nei e Nandita ko "te ngoikoretanga nui rawa atu" o te noho i roto i te marena me te tangata whakahihi. Ko ngā whakamāoritanga katoa me te whakawhiti whakapae ka pirau i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō. Koinei te momo kino rawa atu o tukino aronganui tērā pea ka tūtaki koe, ā, ka mataku tonu koe ki te whakautu, ki te whakapuaki rānei i tō reo. Tērā pea ka arahi tēnei ki ngā mate hinengaro kāore e taea te whakaora anō hoki
• Ka kitea koe e hikoi ana i runga i ngā anga hua manu: He hononga tata te whakapehapeha me te whakawhirinaki ki te tangata. Inaa, tera pea he whanaungatanga matua-tamaiti i roto i te marena me te tangata whakapehapeha, e mataku tonu ana koe kei whakapataritari koe i to hoa, kei whakarērea koe e ia mo ake tonu atu. Tērā pea ka pā kino tēnei manukanuka tonu ki tō hauora hinengaro, ā, ka arahi atu ki ngā mate hinengaro kino.

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• Ka kitea e koe kei te whakahari tonu koe i a rātou: E mea ana a Nandita, "Ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga kitea o te hoa rangatira whakahihi ko tōna kaha ki te whakaatu i te whanonga tino tinihanga hei whakatutuki i ō rātou hiahia. Nō reira, ka mutu ka whakamanawareka koe i a rātou, ka manaaki hoki i tō rātou oranga." Nō reira, tērā pea kāore ō ake hiahia e arohia, e warewarehia rānei, ka arahi ki ngā raruraru nui. take hauora hinengaro
• Ka huri ngā kōrero katoa hei tautohetohe: Ko tētahi o ngā pānga roa o te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi ko te kore o ngā kōrero tuwhera, pono hoki. Ka tāpiri atu a Nandita, "Ko ngā kōrero whakahē katoa, e tono ana kia whakatikatikaina ō rātou ara, ka mutu ki ngā tautohetohe, nā te mea ka kino te hunga whakahihi ki te whakaae ki ngā mea kino mō rātou anō."
• Ka tukinotia koe e te hinengaro: Hei hoa, ko ngā kōrero teka a te tangata whakahihi, arā, me huna e ia te pono hei whakahaere i a koe mō ōna hiahia whaiaro, ka meinga koe kia rongo kua tukinotia koe e te hinengaro. E kī ana a Nandita, "Mā te whakangaro i a koe i te hinengaro ka pai ake te noho o te hoa whakahihi, ā, ka whāngai i tōna ego, ka waiho tō āhua hauora hinengaro kia pakaru ake ake."
• Tērā pea ka tukinotia koe: Kua oti he kōrero taipitopito ako mō te pānga o te riri whakahihi ki te tutu ā-whare. Ka taea e te tukino ā-hinengaro me te tukino ā-waha te ahu whakamua ki te tutu ā-tinana, mena he pukuriri hoki te tangata whakahihi

Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa rangatira whakahihi — 7 ngā huarahi hei whakatau

Ahakoa ngā kōrero katoa mō te pānga o te hoa rangatira whakahihi ki tō marena, he pono anō hoki he tino uaua te tapahi i tētahi mema o te whānau whakahihi, inā koa he hoa rangatira mō te ora, ahakoa kua mārama te kite i ngā tohu katoa o te mate whakahihi. Heoi anō, tera pea ka kī atu ō whanaunga kia urutau koe ki a rātou, nā te mea he wāhanga nui ngā tautohetohe me ngā taupatupatu o ngā whanaungatanga hauora katoa.

Hei tāpiritanga, e kī ana a Nandita, "I mua i te kī he tangata whakahihi tō hoa, me mātakitaki koe i ngā āhuatanga whakahihi noa, me te mōhio ki ngā tohu kitea o te whakahihi. Kia mārama ki te tauira whanaungatanga whakahihi"... Ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te whakatau i te whakapehapeha mena ka tino mohio koe he whakapehapeha tawhito ratou." Nō reira, kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te ora i te marena ki te whakapehapeha? Kei raro nei e whitu ngā huarahi hei whakaatu ki a koe me pēhea te whakatau i te marena ki te whakapehapeha:

Te pānui e pā ana: Ka taea e te hunga whakahihi te aroha?

1. Kia tere te wehewehe i waenga i ngā take pono me ngā take rūpahu

He mea nui kia mau tonu tō hinengaro pai i waenganui i te whakahaerenga kare ā-roto me te tukino i roto i te marena me te tangata whakahihi. E kī ana a Nandita, "Me ako koe ki te kimi ko ēhea ngā take e tika ana mō tō wā, ā, ko ēhea ngā hua o te whakahaerenga whakahihi, ā, i ahu mai i ngā whanonga kino a tō hoa." Mā te whawhai ki te tangata whakahihi mō ngā take rūpahu ka roa ake tō mamae.

2. Whakawhiti korero

I a koe e pāngia ana e te āhua whanaungatanga whakahihi, he mea nui kia rangona koe me ōu ake hiahia. Tīmata ki te kōrero i te wā tonu ka kitea e koe ngā tohu iti o te mate hinengaro whakahihi. E kī ana a Nandita, "Akohia kia mārama ō huarahi kōrero katoa, ā, kia kore ai he whakahīhī i a koe anō."

Te pānui e pā ana: Te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata whakahihi? Anei ngā tohu me te āhua o te whakarerekē i a koe

3. Kaua e whakauru ki roto ngā kōrero mamae me ngā kōrero kino

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te whakatau i te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi, āe, ko te huarahi pai ko te kore aro ki ā rātou kōrero whakatoi katoa. E kī ana a Nandita, "Akohia kia kaua e aro ki ngā tawai, ngā tawai, ngā kōrero whakahihi rānei e puta mai ana i a koe e whawhai ana ki tētahi tangata whakahihi." He mea nui kia kaha koe, kia noho māia hoki i ngā whakaekenga a tētahi tangata whakahihi. Nō reira, karohia rātou, whakaitihia rānei te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ina ngana ana rātou ki te whakaiti i a koe.

4. Kia mau ki ngā rohe hauora

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te tango i te mana whakahaere mai i te tangata whakahihi? Hei whakatau i te tangata whakahihi, me mārama koe ki a koe anō. E kī ana a Nandita, "Me whakaatu e koe tō taumata manawanui ki tō hoa. Kia mau ki ngā rohe pakari, hauora hoki, ā, kia mārama hoki te whakapuaki atu ki tō hoa. Anei me pēhea te mahi i tēnā:

• Akohia te kī “Kāo” ki ētahi o ā rātou tono koretake me ā rātou ngangau. Kaua e whakapā atu mō ētahi rā, ki te hiahiatia
• Kaua e tukua ō hiahia katoa kia tutuki ai ō rātou ake hiahia
• Ki te kore koe e pai ki tētahi katakata, ki tētahi kōrero whakatoi rānei, me kī atu
• Whakapuakina ā rātou whanonga whaiaro

Te pānui e pā ana: 19 Ngā Tauira o Ngā Rohe Hauora i roto i ngā Hononga

5. Tukuna tō mamae ki tētahi whatunga pono

Kaua e ngaro te hononga ki tō whānau me ō hoa ahakoa te aha. Kia maumahara, ko tā te tangata whakahihi koia anake te hiahia – kia wehea koe i ō hoa aroha, kia noho tonu ai koe hei patunga mā ō rātou hiahia me ō rātou wawata. E mea ana a Nandita, "Kaua e huna ō raruraru whanaungatanga. Kōrerohia ki ō hoa aroha, hei tautoko i a koe i roto i ngā kare ā-roto me ngā momo tautoko katoa. Waihoki, hangaia ētahi atu whanaungatanga hauora. "

6. Whakawhanakehia he whakaaro pai mōu ake

Kia maumahara, ko te patu kino rawa atu a te tangata whakahihi ko te whakahaere i a koe kia whakapono ai koe kei te ora koe hei whakatutuki i a rātou. E hiahia ana rātou kia whakama koe mō te aro ki tō ake oranga. Nō reira, hangaia tō ake tuakiri, kaua e tautohetohe ki te tangata whakahihi. Mahia ngā mea e hari ai koe, uru atu ki ngā akoranga hou, whakahokia mai ngā mahi whakangahau tawhito i arohaina e koe, me te whakahoahoa ki te tangata.

Ko tā Nandita tohutohu, "Kia toa, kia maia. Noho i tētahi oranga ki tonu i te whakaute i a koe anō, me te waihanga i tētahi tirohanga pai ki a koe anō hei whakanui ake i tō whakapono ki a koe anō." Koinei te huarahi hei tango i te mana whakahaere mai i tētahi tangata whakahihi.

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Huarahi Hei Mōhio Kua Mutu Te Tangata Whakahē I A Koe

7. Kōrero ki tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro

Hei whakamutunga, kāore he huarahi kē atu i te rapu tautoko mai i ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro, te haere rānei ki te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine mō te mate hinengaro whakahihi mēnā kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tangata whakahihi. Nō reira, ki te ngaro koe i te ngana ki te whakatau i ngā tono koretake me ngā whanonga tukino a tētahi hoa whakahihi, kaua e mangere ki te rapu rongoā mai i ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro. Ngā kaitohutohu tohunga o Bonobology kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe.

Nō reira, i tēnei wā, ko te tumanako kāore koe e whakaaro ana he aha ngā tohu me ngā pānga o te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi. Ko te tumanako hoki kua mōhio koe inaianei ki te ora i te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi, te whakahaere i ā rātou riri, te whakahaere rānei i ngā tautohetohe me tētahi tangata whakahihi i runga i te ataahua. Kia maumahara kāore ngā whanonga whakahihi me ngā whanaungatanga e pai te whakakotahitanga.

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te ora i te mamae o te noho tahi me tētahi tāne, wahine rānei e whakahihi ana i a koe anō, e tinihanga ana i a koe anō. Kia mahara, he pai ki te ngana ki te whakatika i tētahi hononga kua pakaru i te tukino whakahihi, engari i te wā roa, me whakatau koe ko te whanaungatanga te mea e hari ai koe. Ā, ki te mea kei te kino, kei te whara rānei tō hoa rangatira whakahihi i a koe i tua atu i tō paepae, he pai ake te whakaaro anō ki tō hononga ka mutu mēnā e hiahia ana koe. Heoi anō, he mea nui anō hoki koe.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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