He hauora te whakataa i tētahi hononga? He whakaaro tēnei kua whakaarohia e te nuinga o tātou i tētahi wā. "E whai hua ana ngā whakataa i roto i ngā hononga, ki te kore, ka nui noa atu te wehewehe i a tātou i tēnei wā?" Āe, i te wā e puāwai ana tētahi hononga, e ahua ana kāore he mea e hē ana. Kātahi ka pā mai te ao tūturu ki a koe, ā, ka mōhio koe ehara i te mea ngāwari te pupuri i tētahi hononga, ina koa mēnā kāore te tautohetohe e mutu.
Ki te kore koe e aro ki ngā take nui mō te whakamutu i tētahi hononga, kei te tuhi noa koe i tana panui mate. Kāore, e kore ō raruraru e memeha noa i muri i te whakamutu. He tumanako tino koretake tēnā. Engari mā te wehenga wā poto ka taea e koe te kite i ngā raruraru o te hononga mai i tētahi tirohanga hou, me te kimi i te pūtake o ngā raruraru i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa. Nō reira, me pēhea e whakatau ai koe ko ēhea ngā tohu kino e tika ana kia whai wāhi koe ki tētahi hononga?
Ā, kia pēhea te roa o te wā e tika ana kia mutu te whanaungatanga? He aha te huarahi hauora hei mahi i tēnei? Me whakatakoto e koe ētahi ture matua? Kei konei mātou hei whakautu i ō pātai katoa me ngā māramatanga mai i te kaiako mō te oranga ngākau me te aro nui. Pooja Priyamvada (he tohu mō te Āwhina Tuatahi mō te Hauora Hinengaro me te Hinengaro mai i te Kura Hauora Tūmatanui o Johns Hopkins Bloomberg me te Whare Wānanga o Sydney), he tohunga ki te tuku tohutohu mō ngā moepuku i waho o te marena, ngā wehenga, te wehenga, te pouri, me te mate, hei tauira noa iho.
He aha te tikanga o te "Whakatā i tētahi hononga"?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te noho wehe, te okioki rānei, ehara i te mea ka wehe atu kōrua mō ake tonu atu. Ko tōna tikanga kei te noho tawhiti noa kōrua tetahi i tetahi hei tātari i ngā raruraru kua puta ake i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā kōrua e whakatau te rā mutunga. Mā kōrua anō e whakatakoto ō ake ture mo te wehenga o te whanaungatanga. Ā, ki te kore koe e hiahia kia rite ki a Ross rāua ko Rachel i roto i te whanaungatanga, me tino mārama koe ki te tikanga o tēnei wehenga o te whanaungatanga mō kōrua.
He rerekē ngā take mō te whakamutu i tētahi hononga i ia tāne, i ia tāne, i ia tāne. Ki ētahi, take whakawhirinaki he take pea tēnei hei pēhi i te pātene whakamutu. Ki ētahi atu, he pakanga me te tautohetohe tonu. Kāore he take tika, he take hē rānei i konei. Ahakoa kua whakaaroaro koe "Ka taea e te okiokinga te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga?" he take tika anō hoki tēnā.
"Ko te tikanga o te wehenga o te whanaungatanga ko te pupuri i tētahi tawhiti, kātahi ka hono anō ki tētahi hoa i muri i te wā wehe. Tērā pea ka uru te wehenga tinana, kāore rānei. He mea tika tēnei wā hei whakaora i tētahi wā kino, i tētahi aituā rānei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakaora i tō whanaungatanga mai i te wehenga, koinei tētahi huarahi hei whakahaere," te whakamārama. Pooja.
Ki te mea kei te tohe tonu koe ki te tango i tētahi okiokinga mō te wā poto, kia tino pono tō kōrero. Kia puta rā anō, ka nui ngā feaa mō tō whanaungatanga. Ā, kāore koe e whiwhi i te maha o ngā wā ki te mahi i tēnei. Mā te tango i ngā okiokinga maha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka taea te whakakino i te turanga o te whakawhirinaki i waenga i ngā hoa tokorua. Kia mahara, ka rongo koe i ngā momo tohutohu katoa mō te whakatau i te tango i tētahi okiokinga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, engari ko te whakautu tūturu anake ka puta mai i te kōrero ki tō hoa. Te whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti korero ka oti te haurua o te mahi māu.
He huarahi kē atu anō hei whakamutu i tētahi hononga?
E ai ki te ako, 6%–18% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine o Amerika e mau tonu ana te marena kua wehe i tētahi wā o tā rātou marena. Nō reira, kāore koe i te hē ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whai wā okioki hauora i roto i te marena. He kōwhiringa whakaaro nui te whai wā okioki mō te tiaki i a koe anō me te tipu ake i a koe anō. Ki te mea he mea nui, ka mau tonu te hou o tō whanaungatanga. Engari he mea nui anō hoki kia kotahi tō whakaaro mō tēnei whakatau, ā, kia pai hoki koe ki te hoki ki tō hoa i muri i te wā o te māramatanga.
Ahakoa te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga, kāore e āhei koe ki te moe tahi me ētahi atu tāngata i roto i ngā haora e rua e whai ake nei. Engari, kāore e taea te whakakore i te tūponotanga ka ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa, o tō hoa rānei ki te whanaungatanga, ka uru atu rānei ki tētahi atu. Ki te mea kei te mataku koe i taua whakaaro, me tūhura pea koe i ngā huarahi kē atu hei whakamutu i te whanaungatanga:
- Whakaritea etahi nga rohe whanaungatanga hauora ā, kia piri ki aua mea. Whakautehia te wāhi whaiaro o tō hoa
- Kōrerohia ō whakaaro me tō hoa. Kōrerohia ō raruraru katoa i runga i te tēpu. Kōrerohia i runga i te whakaaro nui, kaua e ngau kino.
- He mea nui te whakaaroaro i a koe anō. Whakaarohia te āhua o tāu whai wāhi atu ki ngā raruraru o tō whanaungatanga, me te wāhi e taea ai e koe te tango i te kawenga mō āu mahi.
- Arotahi ki ngā mahi a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Ngāna kia arotahi ki te whakapau i te wā kounga ki tō hoa. Whakaarohia pea te rongoā a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Hei utu, ka āwhina i a koe ki te hanga anō i te turanga o tō whanaungatanga.
- Ki te kore e tino kaha ngā take e noho tahi ai, whakaarohia te wehe
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He whakaaro pai te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga hei whakapakari i ahau anō?
"Kua whakaaro ahau ki te whakataa i tētahi whanaungatanga hei whakapai ake i ahau anō. He whakaaro pai tēnei?" Āe, he wā anō kei te ao e tika ana kia mōhio koe ko wai koe i waho o tētahi whanaungatanga. Ki te mataku rawa koe ki te noho mokemoke, ā, ka peke tere atu i tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu, kāore e hoatu he wā ki a koe ki te whakaora, ki te whakaae rānei ki tō... ngā āwangawanga whanaungatanga.
I mua i tō ngaronga o te 'ahau' me te noho hei 'tātou', ko te ngana whakamutunga ki te whakatau i ō raruraru whaiaro me te tiaki i tō tuakiri he pai pea mōu i te wā roa. Mena ko te tikanga o tēnā ko te tango i ētahi marama hei hararei me te haereere i Ūropi ki te Hauāuru, te whakauru atu rānei ki te kura toi hei whai i tō hiahia, waiho māu. Mena kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakataa i tētahi whanaungatanga hei kimi i a koe anō, anei ētahi whakaaro mō te whakahaere i tēnei wā wehe:
- Whakatakotoria he rohe mō te roa o tēnei hararei – mō ngā rā e rua, mō te wā roa rānei?
- Whakamāramahia ō tikanga me tō hoa – ka mau tonu te piripono ki a kōrua i te wā okioki? Kua mutu rānei te whanaungatanga?
- Ā, me pēhea te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero? Ka noho tonu tō whakapā mā te waea, ka whai rānei koe i te ture kore whakapā atu?
- Kia pono ki a koe anō. E tino mōhio ana koe koinei te kōwhiringa tika? Ko ēhea ngā āhuatanga o tō oranga e pai ana koe ki te mahi?
9 Ngā Tohu Me Whakataa Koe i roto i tō Hononga
Mai i te roa o te wā e tika ana kia mutu te whanaungatanga ki te huarahi e tika ai te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga ina noho tahi kōrua, he maha ngā kōrero iti hei whakatau mā kōrua ina tata kōrua ki te whakatau i tētahi whakatau nui – he whakatau whakamataku hoki. Heoi, i mua i te urunga atu ki ngā kōrero taipitopito, ko te mahi tuatahi ko te whakatau mēnā e tika ana kia mutu te whanaungatanga i roto i ō kōrua āhuatanga.
Kaua e kī noa kei te hiahia koe ki te okioki nā te mea i mātaki tō hoa i tāu whakaaturanga tino pai, kāore koe i te mōhio. Heoi, ki te mea he tohu nui kei te tino hiahia koe ki tēnei te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga, kua tae pea te wā kia mutu te titiro ki tētahi atu ara. Ā, he aha aua tohu? Anei ngā wā he whakaaro pai mō te okioki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga:
1. Kei te tata tonu te pakanga
I ētahi wā, ko te okiokinga mai i tētahi whanaungatanga kino te mea pai rawa atu mō tō hauora hinengaro. Mena he rite te noho tahi me tō hoa ki tētahi raupapa kōrero uaua, me pēhea rā koe e ora ai i te nui o ngā whakaaro kino? Kōrero mai, he pānga pai ēnei āhuatanga ki a koe?
- Ahakoa he aha tāu e kī ana, ko te pakanga te āhua nei ka puta noa mai i te hau kore
- Kei te whakaaro tonu koe he aha rawa tāu i hē ai, engari i taua wā, kua roa rawa. Kua tīmata kē te tautohetohe.
- Kei te rite koe ki te takahi tonu i runga i te hukapapa angiangi, me whakaaro rua rānei koe i mua i te kōrero i tetahi mea
- Kāore kōrua e mōhio me pēhea te hono anō i muri i te pakanga, nō reira ko te tumanako ka angitu te mahi mā te wahangu
- Te āhua nei he nui ake ngā maharatanga kino o tō whanaungatanga e maumaharahia ana e koe i ngā maharatanga pai.
Kia tae koe ki tēnā wā, kaua e whakama mō te hiahia ki te wehe i te whanaungatanga, nā te mea kāore he tikanga mēnā, i a koe e whakaora ana i taua whanaungatanga, ka ngaro tō rangimarie o te hinengaro.
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2. Kei te mahi tahi anō kōrua, kei te mahi tahi anō kōrua
Ina whakautu mai ō hoa ki te "anō?!!" ki te rongo kua wehe kōrua ko tō hoa, e mōhio ana koe kāore i te tino kaha te whanaungatanga. Ko kōrua te tokorua e whakaatu ana i ngā whanaungatanga whakamuri. Kei te tata tonu ngā pakanga, ā, ina tino kino ētahi o aua pakanga, ka ārai kōrua tetahi i tetahi i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori. Kātahi ka hoki tahi anō kōrua i muri i te wiki, nā te mea kei te āwangawanga tonu kōrua, "He aha te tikanga o te okiokinga ki tētahi kōtiro? Ki te hoatu e au he wāhi ki a ia, ka hoki mai anō ia?"
Kimihia tāu e hiahia ana, ā, ka āwhina i tō whanaungatanga me tō hauora hinengaro. He nui ake ngā painga o te tuku wāhi nui i roto i te whanaungatanga i ngā mōrearea o ēnei momo nekehanga pōrearea. Me mōhio koe he pai ake te okioki i tētahi whanaungatanga roa i te mau i roto i taua huringa kino o te whanaungatanga anō-anō-anō e waiho ana i a koe kia ngenge hinengaro.
"Ina kua whakatūria he tauira o te whanaungatanga piripono, te pakanga, te wehenga, ā, muri iho ka houhia te rongo, me whakaaro anō te tangata ki te whanaungatanga me te take e taka ai ki tēnei tauira paitini. Ka taea e te wehenga te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga? Ko te whakautu poto ko 'āe.' I tēnei wā, ka taea e ia hoa te tuku wā me te wāhi ki te huri i ngā kaupapa matua, me te whakawhāiti pea i ngā wāhi pakanga me te kimi i ā rātou whakataunga," te kī a Pooja.
3. Kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro i tētahi 'harikoa ake ake' me tō hoa
Ko tētahi o ngā ture matua mō te 'whakatā i roto i te whanaungatanga' ko te huri i te arotahi ki ō ake hiahia. Ki te mea kei te āwangawanga koe ahakoa kua roa te noho tahi, kei te hē tetahi mea i roto i tō whanaungatanga, kāore rānei e taea e koe te kite i tētahi heke mai tūturu me te āhua o ngā mea o nāianei, me whakaaro anō koe me pēhea te haere tonu. Engari he wā anō ka whakaroa tātou ki te neke whakamua nā te maha o ngā āhuatanga o waho. I ētahi wā, kāore e taea e tātou te whakatau i waenga i te "whakatā, te wehe rānei?".
Te taumahatanga ā-ira tangata i ētahi wā ka noho tonu te tangata ki roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino, ahakoa e mōhio ana kāore he heke mai tūturu. Ka hiahia rātou ki te wareware i ngā mea kino nā te mea he pai te mamae mō ngā mea pai. Engari ina mōhio koe kāore e taea e koe te haere tonu pēnei, ka mōhio koe me whai wā okioki koe. Ā tōna wā, me whakapuaki e koe ō whakaaro ki tō hoa, me aro atu ki ngā kōrero uaua ahakoa te nui o tō hiahia ki te aukati i a rātou.
4. Whakamutua te whanaungatanga mēnā kāore e taea e koe te titiro ki tua atu i taua mea takahi whakaaetanga
I roto i ētahi marama torutoru o tō whanaungatanga, ka mōhio koe kāore e taea e ngā tirohanga tōrangapū a tō hoa te tawhiti atu i ōu. Tērā pea kua kitea e koe kei te pirangi rāua ki ētahi mea kāore e taea e koe te titiro atu ki tua atu. Tērā pea he pakanga e puta tonu ana nā te mea. Tērā pea ka akiaki koe i a koe anō kia kaua e aro ki tēnei, engari ka hoki mai anō hei whakaoho i tētahi atu pakanga. Ki a mātou, te āhua nei ko te wā tika tēnei mō te wehenga o te whanaungatanga. Mā wai e mōhio, tērā pea... whakapakari i tō hononga ā, ka hoki mai koe me te kore whara, ko koe tētahi o ngā kōrero angitu mō te pakaru o te whanaungatanga.
Mō tēnā, e kī ana a Pooja, "He tino whaiaro tēnei mō ia tokorua. Hei tauira, me kōrero tātou mō ngā rohe e pā ana ki te puremu. Tērā pea ka whakaaro ētahi he mea tino kore te takaro ki ētahi atu, engari tera pea ētahi tokorua e pai ana ki te tuku karere kuputuhi a ō rātou hoa ki ētahi atu mena kāore e tino pā ki te tinana. Ahakoa te paepae, ngā ture rānei kua whakatakotoria e ngā hoa e rua i roto i te whanaungatanga, ki te mea kei te takahia rawatia rātou e te kore e taea te whakaae, he tohu pai tēnā mō te tango i tētahi wā hei whakaaroaro, hei houhanga rongo – mēnā he mea."
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5. He torutoru ngā rā kāore he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e tere haere ana
Ae, tera ētahi ngoikoretanga o te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kāore tetahi e kite ana i a rātou anō e whakarērea ana tētahi whanaungatanga pai kia noho takakau. Engari ki te mea he māmā ake te kore kōrero ki tō hoa i te ngana ki te kōrero ki a rātou, mā te wehenga poto pea ka hoatu he wāhi ki a koe ki te whakatau me te whai hua mēnā he pai tēnei tangata ki te pupuri, mēnā rānei me anga whakamua koe me te whakaute. Kei a koe mātou mēnā kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga roa nā te mea:
- Kei te whakaaro koe kei te nui ake te kino o te whanaungatanga i te pai mōu, ā, he nui ake te manukanuka i te harikoa i roto i tō kōrua hononga.
- I muri tata mai i ā kōrua pakanga kino, ka hoatu tonu kōrua tetahi ki tetahi te maimoatanga puku
- He pai ake te āhua o ngā rā kāore kōrua e kōrero ana tetahi ki tetahi i ngā rā e kōrero tahi ana kōrua
- Ia karere ka tukuna e tō hoa, ka hiahia koe ki te raka anō i tō waea pūkoro, me te pupuri atu.
- Kāore koe e tino hiahia ki te whakaoti i ngā tautohe, ā, kua maha pea ō whakaaro mō te wehe i a kōrua.
6. Kāore ngā tumanakohanga e ōrite
Tērā pea i whakaaro tētahi o ngā tāngata i roto i tētahi hononga tawhiti ka kōrero tonu kōrua i runga i te waea, engari ko tētahi atu e whakaaro ana he pai noa iho te 'hononga kuputuhi'. Tērā pea i te rapu koe i tētahi mea noa iho, engari ka puta mai tō hoa me ngā rōhi tekau mā rua me ngā tīkiti ki tētahi kōnohete e ono marama te tawhiti. Kaua e wareware ki te tango wāhi i roto i tētahi hononga, ka hiahia pea koe ki te oma atu ina tupu tēnā.
E kī ana a Flo, he rangatira toa taonga tawhito nō Utah, "Whakamahia tēnei wā hei whakatau i tēnei taupatupatu o ngā tumanakohanga i roto i tō whanaungatanga"... I te wā i pā mai ai tēnei ki ahau i ēnei rā tata nei, ā, i hiahia te tangata nei kia wātea, i whakaaro tonu ahau: He aha te tikanga o te okiokinga ki tētahi tangata? Ki te hiahia ia ki te okiokinga, ka hoki mai anō ia? I hoki mai anō ia, ā, i tēnei wā i tino mōhio mātou ki tā mātou e hiahia ana hei takitahi, ā, i taea e mātou te kōrero mō taua mea me te kore wehi, me te kore whakahē rānei."
Koia te take he mea pai kia kōrero tika atu ki tō hoa mō te momo whai wāhi e rapuhia ana e koe, kaua e whakaroa i te whanaungatanga. "Ehara i te mea ko te titiro aroha noa tetahi ki tetahi te whanaungatanga hauora, engari ko te titiro tahi ki ngā whāinga kotahi i te huarahi kotahi. Ki te kore tēnei, ka kitea he rerekētanga o ngā tumanakohanga mai i a koe anō, mai i te hoa, me te whanaungatanga, ka arahi ki ngā pakanga. Me wehe atu ngā hoa mō tētahi wā poto kia mārama ai ki tēnei kawa me te tiro i tēnei āhuatanga i raro i te karu tirotiro takitahi," te kī a Pooja.
7. He nui rawa ngā take o te hae, te koretake, me te whakawhirinaki e kore e taea te whakahaere
Te whakaaro ki te tango i tētahi te pakaru o te whanaungatanga ina noho tahi kōrua He mea nui pea tēnei. Nā te mea, ka whakararuraru koe i ōu oranga, ka puta atu hoki i tō rohe whakamarie. He maha ngā wā ka tukua e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kia piki haere ngā raruraru nā te mea he nui ake te mataku o te neke atu me te noho ko rātou anake. Heoi, he pai te okioki i roto i te whanaungatanga i roto i ngā āhuatanga e whai ake nei? Ae.
- Kua piki haere ngā take pēnei i te hae, te koretake o te whakaaro, me te kore whakawhirinaki, ā, kua tino taumaha rawa koe i ngā wā katoa.
- Mā te pātai tonu mō ngā kōrero iti o tō koiora ka whakamomori koe
- Ka whakaaturia e te hoa ō rātou āwangawanga ki a koe
- Kei te patu koe i tō hauora hinengaro kia mau tonu ai tō whanaungatanga me tētahi hoa whakahaere
He tika tonu te kī "Kei te okioki tāua", ahakoa te roa o te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua, te nui rānei o tō kōrua aroha tetahi ki tetahi.
8. Ki te mea kei te hē koe, kua tae ki te wā ki te tango i te wā mai i tō hoa
Ko tētahi āhuatanga noa o tētahi whanaungatanga kino ko te kore aro o tētahi hoa ki ngā kōrero a tētahi atu. Mēnā koinei te āhua, ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kāore ō whakaaro i te hiranga, ā, he maha ngā wā ka warewarehia ngā mea e hiahiatia ana, e tumanakohia ana rānei e koe. Ka taea e te whakaiti i a koe, ā, ka waiho noa koe kia pouri, ka whakaaro "Me whai wā okiokinga ahau ki te whakaaro anō ki taku tūranga i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga, engari me pēhea mēnā ka rerekē te whakaaro o taku hoa! He aha te tikanga o te wā okiokinga ki tētahi tāne (ki tētahi kōtiro rānei)?"
Ko te kaupapa o ngā whanaungatanga he mea hei whakanui i tō harikoa, hei whakarei ake hoki i tō oranga. Ki te kore tō whanaungatanga e tutuki i tēnei paearu māmā, kāore he tangata e whakapae i a koe mō te okioki i tētahi whanaungatanga kino. Kaua e whakaroa i tēnei whakatau. I ētahi wā, me whakatakoto koe i a koe anō ki mua, ā, he take pai te whakaaro kāore koe i te whai uara i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Kōrero pono ki tō hoa, me whakamōhio atu ki a ia ō kare ā-roto me te kore e whakapae, ā, me tono kia wātea mai koe mō tētahi wā.
Te pānui e pā ana: Kei te kaha rawa tō hoa hae ki te whakahaere, ki te pupuri rānei i a ia anō?
9. Ka teka koe hei karo i ngā whawhai
Kāore rānei koe e kōrero i ētahi mea nā te mea e mōhio ana koe ka tino puta he pakanga. Tērā pea ka kōrero teka koe mō te tangata e noho tahi ana koe ahakoa kāore koe i te mahi he. Kāore he kino o te kōrero teka mā i ētahi wā. Engari i roto i ngā whanaungatanga hauora, me taea e koe te kōrero i tetahi mea ki tō hoa me te kore e mataku i te whakautu. Ina takoto tetahi i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hei whakamāmā ake i te ao, ka nui noa atu ngā raruraru e hua ake ana i te heke mai.
Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te tīmata anō me tētahi, me whakahoki mai e koe te whakapono me te pono ki roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te pai te tawhiti, whakamahia taua tūponotanga. "Ki te kore e taea e te tangata te pono ki tana hoa, ko te tikanga kei te wehi ia i a ia, kua ngaro te whakawhirinaki ki a ia, kua kore rānei e aroha ki a ia. Ka taea e te wā wehe te āwhina i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei? Ae, i roto i ngā take e toru, ka taea e te okiokinga poto te hoatu i te whai wāhi ki ngā hoa e rua ki te whakaaro anō ki ngā mea i he, me te whakatika," te kī a Pooja, me te tāpiri, "Ki te haere tonu te teka hei pupuri i te rangimārie, he tohu tēnei kei te hangaia he whanaungatanga tukino, he whanaungatanga kino rānei."
6 ngā tohutohu hei āwhina i te pakaru o te whanaungatanga
Ina puta ngā mea i waho o tō tātou rohe whakamarie, ā, te āhua nei kua ngaro te mana whakahaere i te ao, i tēnei wā rānei, he whanaungatanga, ka pōhēhē tātou. Kāore koe e whakapono ki te maha o ngā waeatanga mai i ngā hoa i te 2 i te ata, me te reo wiri, e mea ana, "Hei, he aha te tikanga o te okiokinga ki tētahi kōtiro ina kī mai ia me okioki ia?" "Kei te mōhio koe, kei te okioki māua ko taku hoa tāne, ā, kei te ngaro ahau i a ia. Ka taea e koe te kōrero mai me pēhea te whakatau i te okiokinga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?"
Nō reira, koinei te tohutohu tuatahi, kaua e mataku. Kei te pai koe! Kaua e aro ki ngā ngoikoretanga o te whakataa i tētahi whanaungatanga, engari, me whai hua ia rā puta noa i tēnei wā. He mea hauora te okioki i roto i tētahi whanaungatangaAhakoa ko wai te whakatau kia noho tawhiti atu, nāu, nā tō hoa rānei, me waiho ēnei mea e ono hei whiriwhiri māu mō tētahi hararei hauora:
- Ki te kore kōrua e mōhio ki te take o tēnei wehenga, ka kore noa iho te whakaaro katoa. Nō reira, kia kōrero kanohi ki te kanohi, kia mārama hoki.
- He mea nui ngā ture matua: Ka whakaipoipo koe i ētahi atu tāngata? Kia pēhea te auau o te kōrero (te kore rānei e kōrero) ki a kōrua? E whakaaetia ana kia tirohia ā-wiki koe?
- Mā te whakatakoto i tētahi rohe wā taupua ka noho pūmau te whakaaro o kōrua, nā te mea kāore te tangata e pai ki te tatari mō tētahi wā roa kāore i te mutunga, me te kore he whakamana.
- I tēnei wā, whakaaroarohia ō raruraru, arā, ō raruraru whaiaro me ō raruraru whanaungatanga. Ka taea e koe te tuhi i tētahi puka rātaka, te rangahau atu mō te take, te toro atu rānei ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro hei mārama i ō kare ā-roto.
- I taua wā anō, mahihia ō whāinga whaiaro, tirohia mēnā kei te rite tonu ki ngā whāinga a tō hoa.
- Ahakoa e hiahia ana koe ki te whakatika i ngā mea, ki te huri rānei i tēnei wehenga hei wehenga whakamutunga, me whakatau ngātahi i muri i te mutunga o te wehenga.
Tohutohu Matua
- Ko te tikanga o te wehenga o te whanaungatanga ka noho tawhiti atu kōrua tetahi i tetahi mō tētahi wā poto hei arotahi ki a koe anō, hei tiki rānei i tētahi tirohanga hou mō ngā raruraru o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
- Mena kei te whawhai tonu koe, ā, kei roto koe i te porowhita hurihuri, he pai pea te whai wā poto hei okioki.
- Whakaarohia he wā okiokinga mēnā kāore kōrua e kite i tētahi heke mai me tō hoa, ki te kore rānei kōrua e kōrero tetahi ki tetahi mō ngā rā maha.
- Ki te āta karohia e kōrua ō kōrua raruraru, he mea āwhina te hoki whakamuri ki te whakaaroaro anō.
- Whakatakotoria he rohe mārama me ngā tikanga me ngā herenga pakari i mua i te whakaurunga ki tēnei whakaritenga
Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te huarahi hei whakatau i te pakaru o te whanaungatanga, kaua e kiia koinei te mutunga o te huarahi. Mena kua tino tautuhia ngā ture 'te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga', ā, e whakaae ana ngā hoa tokorua ki te whakaaro, he huarahi pai pea tēnei ki te tīmata anō i roto i tētahi whanaungatangaE tino mohio ana mātou ka tae atu koe ki tētahi o aua kōrero angitu mō te pakaru o te whanaungatanga aroha!
Ae, me kaha koe ki te whakapau kaha ki te whakaoti i ō ake raruraru i tēnei wā, me whakaaroaro, me te whakatau i tāu e hiahia ana mai i te whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā, mā te wehenga ka āwhina i ngā hoa tokorua kia kite he pai ake te wehe i a rāua i te hoki tahi. Ko te mea nui, ahakoa kāore pea te mutunga e harikoa ake ake, ka tutuki tonu te kaupapa o te wehenga.
Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te marama o Hune 2023.
FAQs
Ina whai koe i ngā ture mō te wehenga o te whanaungatanga, ā, ka whakamahia pai tō wehenga, ka whai hua ēnei. Mā te mawehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga e whakararu ana i a koe ka taea e koe te whakamarie i tō hinengaro, me te aromatawai i ngā mea ka hari ake ai koe. Ahakoa i te wā o tō wehenga ka whakatau koe kia kaua e haere tonu tō whanaungatanga, ka taea tonu te kī he angitu te wehenga nā te mea i āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau me pēhea koe e hari ake ai.
Ko te roa o ngā wehenga o ngā whanaungatanga he wiki, he marama rānei, ā, ka roa pea mēnā e whakaaro ana ngā hoa e rua he mea tika. Heoi, ki te roa rawa te wā, pērā i te 3–4 marama, he nui ake te tūponotanga he wehenga tēnā, kaua ko te wehenga. He mea nui kia mōhiotia te roa o te wā e hiahia ana kōrua kia roa ai. He mea noa anō hoki te whakaroa i te wehenga nā te mea me nui ake te wā hei aromatawai i ngā mea.
Ae, ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te hoki tahi i muri i te wehenga, ina tika te mahi. Mā tēnei wā ka whai wā ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i ngā raruraru e pā ana ki a rātou. Nō reira, tera pea ka kaha ake ngā hononga o ētahi tāne me ngā wāhine i tō mua. Ki te whakatau koe ki te mahi i te whanaungatanga i muri i te wehenga, ka taea e koe te mahi i tēnā nā te mea kua pai ake tō tirohanga ki ngā raruraru me pēhea te kimi i ngā huarahi e pai ai te noho tahi.
He hoa wahine hae: 15 ngā tohu kei te tino tiaki ia i a koe, ā, kei te haurangi koe
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
