Te Whakahaere i ngā Kare ā-roto i roto i ngā Hononga - 13 Ngā Tohu me ngā Mea e 5 Ka taea e koe te Mahi

He mea whakamataku te whakahaere i ngā kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. He maha rawa ngā wā ka kitea te tangata e mau ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e takarohia ana ō rātou kare ā-roto, e whakaitihia ana hoki tō rātou māramatanga ki a rātou anō. Mena kua pātai koe i tōu ake uara, kua mauheretia rānei koe e te mana whakahaere, kua pāngia rānei e te āhua o te koretake tonu, tera pea kei te raru koe i te whakahaere hinengaro. 

Kia tirohia hohonutia te tikanga o te tukino kare ā-roto, ngā āhuatanga whaiaro kare ā-roto, ngā rautaki kare ā-roto, me ngā tohu o te hoa kare ā-roto, me ngā māramatanga mai i te kaiwhakaora hinengaro. Tākuta Chavi Bhargava Sharma (Tohu Paerua mō te Hinengaro), he nui ōna wheako ki te hauora hinengaro me te oranga tinana, tae atu ki te mahi tohutohu whanaungatanga.

He aha te whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?

He huarahi nanakia te whakamahi i ngā kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga hei hanga i te wehi me te whakawhirinaki. Me mōhio ki tā rātou mahi tinihanga i tētahi. ngā āwangawanga me ngā ngoikoretanga me te āhua whakamataku anō hoki. Kua pā kē te whakamataku ki te hoa aroha. He maha ngā wā ka kore koe e kōrero, nā te mea kāore koe e mōhio me pēhea te whakautu ki tētahi e whakanui ana, e whakahaere ana, e takaro ana ki ō kare ā-roto.

Ko Martha, he tauira 23-tau te pakeke, i roto i tētahi hononga ki tētahi hoa mahi nanakia. Ka ringihia e ia tōna aroha ki a ia, kātahi ka huri whakarere mā te tapahi i ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero katoa. Engari i mahara ia ki ngā wā pai, ā, i whakaae ki a ia i tana tono marena. Kāore ia i te mōhio ki te mamae e kore e taea te karo. I a ia e kōrero ana ki Takuta Sharma, ka karanga ia me te manawa hōhonu, "Ina tīmata ia ki te mahi rerekē, kia mōhio koe he tohu kino tēnā. I moe ahau i tētahi tangata whakahihi i ahau, nāna ahau i whakahaere mā te whakahaere pukuriri-whakaeke. He mea whakarihariha ina ngana tētahi tāne ki te whakahaere i a koe!" kātahi ka pātai mai ki ahau, "He kare ā-roto tō ngā kare ā-roto ki a koe? Ahakoa he iti noa iho? Ko taku hiahia kia kare ā-roto ia ki ahau."

He tino mārama te tirohanga a Tākuta Sharma mō te āhua o te whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. "Ko te whakahaere kare ā-roto ko te whiwhi i te tauhohenga e hiahiatia ana e koe, kaua ko te mea e puta noa mai ana ki te tangata," tana kī, "Ko te whakahaere ka kitea e te tangata te hapa i roto i tāu tauhohenga, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki te hanga i taua mea kia rite ki ā rātou tumanakohanga."

Ko te patu nui rawa atu a ngā kaikōrero i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ko te reo whakamataku me ngā whanonga. Ko rātou tonu te hunga e whakahaere ana i te kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga. He mea nui kia mōhio koe ki ngā tohu e kōrero kino ana tō hoa i ngā kare ā-roto. Tirohia ēnei whanonga kia mārama ai koe ki ngā āhuatanga whaiaro kōrero kino:

• Te whakahaere, te awe rānei i ō kare ā-roto, ō whakaaro, me ō whanonga hei painga mōu ake
• Te whakamahi i ngā rautaki tinihanga hei whakapoauau i a koe anō, hei whakama, hei pātai rānei i tō ake ao tūturu
• Te whakawhiti i te hē ki a koe, me te karo i te tango i te kawenga mō ā rātou mahi, mō ā rātou whanonga rānei
• Ko te whiwhi mana me te whakahaere i a koe, he maha ngā wā ka hua ake he kore taurite, hononga kino Hihiri

He aha te take e tinihanga ai ngā hoa i roto i te whanaungatanga?

E whakapono ana a Tākuta Sharma, "Ko te whakahaere kare ā-roto he mea e pā ana ki te mana. Ko te hunga whakahaere kare ā-roto e hiahia ana ki te mana ki runga i a koe, i ō kare ā-roto, me tō oranga. Ko te take e pērā ai rātou, he whakaaro kāore i te rawaka, kāore hoki i te māia ki a rātou anō."

Waihoki, i te nuinga o te wā, kāore he māramatanga, he wāhanga noa iho rānei o ā rātou whanonga tinihanga. Ka takaro noa rātou ki ngā kupu whakaaweawe, arā, te awe me te tinihanga, e whakapuaki ana i ō rātou mōhiotanga kare ā-roto. He maha ngā wā kāore te hunga tinihanga kare ā-roto e whakaaro kei te mahi hē rātou. E whakaaro ana rātou he tika tā rātou ki te mahi pērā ki tētahi. Nō reira, ki te whakaaro koe, "Ka taea e tētahi te tinihanga me te kore e mōhio?", ko te whakautu he āe tino mārama.

Hei tāpiri atu ki tēnā, ko ngā kitenga o he tuhinga whakapae e tohu ana he maha ngā take e akiaki ana i te hoa mahi tinihanga pēnei i:

• Mana Whakahaere – Ka whakamātau tō hoa i a koe kia waiho koe hei pion i roto i tōna ringa 
• Te whakapehapeha - E kiia ana tēnei e te rangahau he "whakamataku piripono"

E ai ki tetahi ako, ko ngā mahi whakaipoipo he mea whakatenatena anō hoki mō ngā kaipahua, ā, ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga whakapepe i te tuakiri. I kitea i roto i tēnei rangahau i mahia ki ngā ākonga o te whare wānanga, e 30% o ngā tāne me te 14% o ngā wāhine i whakaae kei te whakapepe rātou i ā rātou hoa hei whakatenatena i a rātou kia noho hei hoa moepuku. Ko tētahi tēnei o ngā mahi whakahaere ngawari, ka tino ohorere koe ina mōhio koe kua tinihangatia koe.

13 Ngā Tohu kei te Whakahaeretia Koe e te Wairua

Nā, me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te whakahaerehia ō kare ā-roto? Ina koa ko ngā rautaki a ngā kaitātari he mea huna, ā, he onge te kitea. Ka akiaki i te tangata kei te taha e pāngia ana kia ruarua ia, kia whakaaro mēnā kei te tino aro nui rātou. Āe, ko te mea tuatahi hei whakaaroaro, kei te kitea e koe he pātai nui atu i ō urupare? Mēnā āe, he tūponotanga nui kei te whakahaerehia koe.

Anei ētahi tohu whakatūpato me ngā momo whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, me ngā tauira noa hei tirotiro māu. Ki te kite koe i ēnei tohu i roto i tō hoa rangatira, kaua e warewaretia pērā i a Martha, i te tīmatanga o tana whanaungatanga i tana whakaae ki te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi.

Te pānui e pā ana: 13 Ngā Tohu Whakamārama o te Whakamahi Kino i roto i te Hononga

1. Kāore ō kare ā-roto e arohia ana

Ina he whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, he maha ngā wā ka warewarehia e te kaipahua ō kare ā-roto. E kī ana a Tākuta Sharma, "Ka taea te wareware i ngā kare ā-roto i roto i ngā huarahi maha. Tērā pea kāore ō hiahia e tutukihia ana, kāore rānei koe e māramahia ana. Ina tīmata tō hoa ki te wareware i ō kare ā-roto i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka taupokina ngā mea katoa e kōrerohia ana e koe e ō rātou tirohanga me ō rātou matea." 

Tauira,

• Kāore rātou e aro ki ō whakaaro mō tētahi take, mō tētahi kōrero rānei, 
• In he whanaungatanga tukino, he maha tonu tā rātou whakahē i ō kare ā-roto me ō whakaaro he mea koretake
• Kei te whakaaro koe kāore ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto e whai tikanga nui ana i roto i te tirohanga whānui

2. Ka tutuki tonu i a rātou tā rātou e pai ai

He hiahia tō hoa ki te whakatutuki i tā rātou e pai ai. Ki te kite koe kei te huri tonu koe ki ngā mea e pai ana, e kore e pai ana ki a ia, tera pea kei te whakamahi ia i a ia ngā rautaki whakahaere kare ā-roto i ia rā, i ia rā, hei hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga e aro ana ki a rātou anake. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu o te tukino kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ko te whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha te huarahi hei akiaki i a koe kia whakarongo ki ā rātou tono. Ko ngā whanonga whakahaere tawhito 101. 

Tauira,

• Ki te kore koe e hiahia ki te neke atu i te tāone, tera pea ka whakawehi rātou ki te whakarērea koe 
• E whakapono ana tō hoa ki te huarahi "māku ake, mā te huarahi nui rānei"

3. E tono ana rātou i tō aro katoa

He āhuatanga noa tēnei o te whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i te marena, tae atu ki ngā whanaungatanga i mua i te marena... Ka tohe rātou kia noho ko rātou te pokapū o tō ao, me te tumanako kia whakatairangahia rātou e koe i runga ake i ngā mea katoa o tō ao. Ka taea e rātou te tahuri ki te whanonga pukuriri-kore hei whakatutuki i tā rātou hiahia kia arohia koe. Ka taea e tēnei hiahia tonu te mea kia pōuri koe, kia iti ai te wāhi e waiho ana mō ō ake hiahia, wawata, me te tipu whaiaro. 

Tauira,

• Tērā pea ka tohe rātou kia whakakorehia e koe ngā mahere me ō hoa, me tō whānau rānei, kia noho tahi ai koe me rātou anake.  
• Ki te mahi koe i ētahi mea, ki te whai pānga rānei koe kāore e uru ana ki aua mea, ka taea e rātou te whakaaro he kaipupuri moni, he hae rānei rātou.

4. Ka whakatoi rātou i a koe i roto i te ngākau

Ko tētahi atu tohu o te hunga e raweke ana i a rātou anō ko te whakamahi i te whakatoi kare ā-roto hei pupuri i a rātou anō ki te tihi o te rārangi kaupapa matua o te katoa – inā koa ko tāu! E hiahia ana rātou kia noho tahi kōrua i ia wā o te ara. Ko tēnei momo whanonga tētahi o ngā tohu o te whakatoi kare ā-roto nā te mea kei te ngana tō hoa ki te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto mā te mea kia whakama koe, kia wehi rānei i ā rātou tauhohenga. I ētahi wā, ka whakamahia e rātou ngā mōhiohio mai i tō hītori oranga hei whakaiti i a koe. "He aha te ingoa ina whakamahia e tetahi tō hītori ki a koe?", te pātai a Martha i tētahi o āna wā whakaora. Āe, ko te whakautu he whakatoi mā te whakaeke i a koe i ō wāhi tino ngoikore.

Tauira,

• Ki te kore koe e whakautu tonu i te waea ina waea mai rātou, ka riri rātou, ka whakapae i a koe kāore koe e aro ki a rātou 
• Ina moe tāne koe i tētahi tangata whakahihi, ka rongo pea koe i a rātou e kī ana, "Ki te kore koe e mutu te noho tahi me ō hoa, me te whai wā hoki māku, ka whakarērea koe e ahau" me "Ki te whakarērea ahau e koe, ka whakamomori ahau" 

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Momo Ngāwari o te Tukino Hinengaro

5. Kāore ā rātou mahi e rite ki ā rātou kupu

Ki te pātai koe ki a koe anō, "Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te whakahaerehia ō kare ā-roto?", he tohu tino pono tēnei. Tērā pea ka mea rātou kei te aro nui rātou ki a koe i a rātou e noho ana tinihanga ki a koe rānei e mahi tonu ana i ngā mea e ahua kino ana ki a koe. Ā, he pukumahi tonu rātou i roto i ā rātou mahi. Tērā pea kāore tō hoa e kī 'kāo' ki a koe, engari ka karo tonu i ō tono. Tērā pea ka whakapāha tonu rātou ki a koe engari ka wareware ko te whakapāha me te kore huringa he mahi tinihanga. He mea huna tēnei engari he tohu pono tēnei o te tukino kare ā-roto. 

Tauira,

• Tērā pea ka oati rātou ki te tautoko ake engari ka wareware tonu i ō āwangawanga, ka whakakore rānei i ō kare ā-roto me te mea he whakaaro noa iho tōu. 
• Tērā pea ka whakakore pinepine rātou i ngā mahere, ka huri i ngā mea i te meneti whakamutunga, ka waiho rānei koe i roto i te āhua koretake tonu mō te heke mai o te whanaungatanga.

6. Ka whakama tonu rātou i a koe

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga e whakahaeretia ana koe, kei te kaiwhakahaere te pūkenga ki te whakamātau i a koe kia hara, kia utaina ki runga i te taumaha o tō rātou harikoa. Ka whakamahia e rātou ngā rautaki ngāwari, tika rānei, ā, ka whakamahia te whakaaro hē o te hara kia mōhio ai koe kei a koe te kawenga mō ō rātou oranga ngākau, kia rite ai ki te mea ko koe anake te kawenga ki te whakatutuki i ō rātou hiahia me ō rātou wawata. Ka pā kino tēnei ki a koe i te mutunga. 

Tauira,

• Ka taea e tō hoa rangatira/hoa tinihanga te whakamahi i te tinihanga ā-waha mā te whakanui i tō rātou pouri me te kī nāu te he. 
• Ka meinga koe e tō hoa kia whakama mō te whakapau wā, te whai rānei i ngā mahi i waho o te whanaungatanga - he tohu kei te whakahaere ia me te whakangao

7. He tikanga mā rātou te tahu hau

I roto i tētahi hononga paitini, ka mōhio ngā kaitukino i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ki te toi o te whakapohehe i tō tirohanga ki te ao tūturu, me te whakararu i tō mahara me tō hinengaro pai. Ka whakapohehe rātou i ngā kaupapa, ka whakapohehe i ngā meka, ka akiaki i a koe ki te pātai i tō ake mahara ki ngā wheako o mua. Mā te pūkenga o te tinihanga, ka meinga koe kia ruarua, ka waiho koe kia pōuri, kia pōhēhē, kia pōhēhē hoki tae noa ki te taumata ka tīmata koe ki te pātai i tō ake hinengaro pai. Ki te puta tēnei i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnei kei te tinihanga tō hoa i ngā kare ā-roto.

Tauira,

• Me kī atu, "He aha koe i riri ai ki ahau, kāore he take? I haurangi ahau, ā, he kihi noa iho; kāore he mea hei hae, hei whakapehapeha rānei. Kei te whakanui rawa koe i te take"
• "Kāore rawa au i kōrero pēnā. Kua hē pea tāu mārama" – he kōrero tukino noa tēnei

Te pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o te Gaslighting me ngā Huarahi e 5 hei Whakatau i tēnei

8. He maha tonu ā rātou wā ka noho puku koe

Ko tētahi atu tohu o te whakahaere kare ā-roto i roto i te marena, i tētahi whanaungatanga rānei, ko te wā e whakamahia ana e rātou te wā puku hei whakahaere me te whiu i a koe mō ngā mahi hē e kitea ana. Mā te pupuri i te kōrero tika me te aukati i a koe ki waho, ko tā rātou whāinga he mea kia manukanuka koe, kia hiahia nui ki tā rātou aro, kia whai kawenga hoki mō tā rātou wehenga atu. Ka waiho tēnei hei taputapu kaha hei mea kia noho haumaru koe. 

Tauira,

• I muri i tētahi pakanga, i tētahi whakahē rānei, ka mutu ohorere te kōrero ki a koe mō ngā rā kāore he whakamārama  
• Ina whakapuaki koe i tētahi whakaaro rerekē, ka whakautu rātou mā te kore e whakaae ki tō aroaro, e kore hoki e uru atu ki tētahi momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero.

9. Kāore rātou e whakaae ana ki te kawenga

Ka tukuna e rātou te hē ki a koe, ka meinga koe kia pikau i te taumaha o ā rātou hapa me ā rātou raruraru mā te pātai pinepine i ngā pātai whakatewhatewha. Ka whakapōturitia e rātou te kōrero, ka tinihanga i a koe kia whakapono ai koe ko ō rātou hinganga, ko ō rātou aituā rānei he hapa nōu. Ko tēnei te huri-whakapae Ko tētahi o ngā momo whakahaere kare ā-roto tino kitea i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ka waiho koe kia whakama, ka tohe tonu ki te whakatika i ngā mea ehara i te mea nāu, ā, ka whakaiti i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō. Ki te pā tēnei ki a koe, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnei o te whakamahinga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. 

Tauira,

• Tērā pea ka mea rātou pēnei, "Nāu ahau i mea kia haere ki te tiki i ngā tamariki, ā, i tomuri ahau ki te pāti" 
• Ka wareware rātou ki te utu i ā rātou pire i te wā tika, engari hei utu mō te tango i te kawenga, ka whakapae rātou i a koe mō te whakararuraru i a rātou, mō te kore rānei e whakamahara i a rātou.

10. He tohunga rātou ki te tukino i a rātou anō

He maha tonu tā rātou mahi hei patunga, he pūkenga ki te whakaoho i te aroha me te karo i te kawenga. I roto i ia āhuatanga, ka tito rātou i tētahi kōrero e tū ai rātou hei rōpū harakore, kāore i tukinotia e te ao. Ko tō rātou hinengaro patunga ka noho hei whakangungu rakau, hei tiaki i a rātou mai i Te kawenga takohanga me te mea ka whakama koe mō tetahi mea e hē ana. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino nui o te mahi tinihanga. 

Tauira,

• E mea ana, "I reira tonu ahau mōu, e whakahaere ana i ngā mahi, e whakahaere ana i ngā mea, e tautoko ana i a koe, me ngā mea katoa. Ā, ināianei, ina hiahiatia koe e au, kāore koe e kitea!"
• "Kei te whakahē tonu koe i ahau. Kāore tetahi e mārama ki taku e pā nei"

11. Kāore rātou e whai whakaaro ki ō rohe

Ka takahi tonu rātou i ō rohe, kāore e aro nui ki ō kare ā-roto, ki ō hiahia rānei. Ka hurihia e rātou tō wāhi whaiaro me tō oranga ngākau. Ahakoa he aha te kore e aro ki ō rohe, te whakakorekore i ō āwangawanga, te turaki rānei i a koe ki ngā āhuatanga whakararuraru, e whakaatu ana i te kore aro ki tō mana motuhake.

Tauira,

• Ka takahia tō wāhi whaiaro e te tangata tinihanga, ka uru atu rānei ki ō mōhiohio tūmataiti me te kore whakaaetanga
• Te tirotiro haere i roto i ō taonga, te pānui i ō karere, te tohe rānei kia noho mai ahakoa kua tono koe kia wātea koe mō te wā mo koe anake

12. Ka whakaoho i te hae 

Ko tētahi atu o ngā tohu o te tinihanga ko te kukume ā-whakaaro i ngā aho kia mau tonu tō mana me te whakawhirinaki ki tā rātou whakamana. Mā te tino tika, ka hangaia e rātou ngā āhuatanga e whakaoho ana i te hae, e pātai ana koe mō tō uara me tō hiahia. Mā te whakakā i ngā ahi o te haumarutanga, ka tinihanga rātou i a koe kia rapu tonu i tā rātou whakamarie me te whakaae mai. 

Tauira,

• Te whakapoapoa ki etahi atu i mua i a koe
• Ka āta whiriwhiria e rātou ō rātou aroaro pāpāho pāpori, ka tuku kōrero whakahihiri mō ō rātou oranga whakahihiri, me te āta huna i a koe i te kōrero.

13. He ātaahua hoki rātou – he aroha ki te pōma

Ka ringihia e rātou te aroha nui, te ngākau aroha, me te aro nui ki a koe, ā, ka meinga koe kia motuhake. I te tīmatanga, he ataahua, he mīharo hoki. Ka pēhia koe e te whakaaro kua riro koe i a koe. Heoi, he kaupapa huna tā rātou hei āwhina i a rātou kia whiwhi i tō whakawhirinaki me te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto. Ka kiia hoki tēnei ko te whakahaere aroha, arā, te te poma aroha. Ka meinga koe e rātou kia whakaaro me pēhea rā te nanakia o tēnei tangata. Engari, ina tīmata te nanakia, mā tō aroha ki a rātou koe e utu mō ā rātou whanonga mā te whakautu āe ki tēnei pātai e whakahokia ana, "He aroha tō ngā kare ā-roto ki a koe?"

Tauira,

• Te whakanui i a koe ki ngā tohu whakahirahira me te whakapatipati nui i ngā tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga,
• E mea tonu ana rātou i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Tērā pea ka riri ahau engari kei te aroha tonu ahau ki a koe"

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te wehewehe i waenga i te aroha me te manaaki pono

5 Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi Mena Kei te Whakahaeretia Koe e te Wairua

Ko ngā rautaki o runga ake nei e whakamahia ana e te tangata tinihanga hei huarahi ki te whakahaere i ōna hoa aroha. Ka taea e te tinihanga kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha te whakararuraru. Kāore i te pai mōu me ō whanaungatanga whaiaro tae atu ki ō mema whānau. Ka tino raruraru pea tō hinengaro. Ko ngā pānga o te tinihanga kare ā-roto ki te hauora o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ko:

• Kei te rangirua
• Te whakaaro koretake
• Te mauruuru
• Te wehi

Ka taea hoki e ia te arahi ki ngā mate hinengaro pēnei i te,

• PTSD, 
• Te pouri,
• Te manukanuka me te 
• Nga moemoea whakamomori

Tērā pea kei te pātai koe ki a koe anō, "Ka taea e ngā kaipahua te huri?", kia mau tonu ai te tumanako ka hoki anō ngā wā pai i noho tahi ai kōrua ko tō hoa. He tūturu, he taumaha hoki te mamae, te ngākau korekore. Tērā pea ka meinga koe kia whakaaro kāore he mea e taea e koe te mahi mōna, engari kāore e tika kia pērā, ina koa kua ako koe ki te kite i ngā tohu o te hoa e pahua ana ki ngā kare ā-roto. Anei ētahi mahi e rima ka taea e koe te mahi mēnā kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakatau i te pahua kare ā-roto i roto i te whanaungatanga. 

1. Tāutuhia ngā tohu me ngā whanonga

Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te mōhio ki ngā tohu. Ina kite koe i ngā tauira o tō hoa, ka whakamanahia e koe ō wheako e pouri ana koe, ā, ka taea pea e koe te mahi. Akohia ēnei rautaki me ngā tohu ārai. He mana te mātauranga, ā, mā te mārama ki ngā āhuatanga o te whakahaere kare ā-roto, ka taea e koe te tiaki pai ake i a koe anō me te whakatau whai whakaaro.

Ko te mōhio ki ēnei tohu, koinei te taahiraa tuatahi i roto i tēnei haerenga o te whakahoki mai i a koe anō me tō reo. Ka āwhina i a koe ki te tīmata i te tukanga o,

• Te rapu tautoko tae atu ki te āwhina ngaio 
• Te whakatakoto rohe me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua ki a rātou
• Te mārama ki ngā mahi e tika ana kia mahia e koe hei whakaora

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te take e noho tonu ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino?

2. Whakawhirinaki ki tō wairua puku

He taputapu kaha tō pūmanawa ā-roto e kore e tika kia warewarehia. Ina tīmata te reo iti i roto i a koe ki te kōrero pōhewa kei te hē tetahi mea, kia aro atu. He mea nui te whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō me ō kare ā-roto hei tautuhi i te whakahaere kare ā-roto. Ko tō pūmanawa ā-roto he kāpehu e ārahi ana i a koe ki te mea pono me te mea hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga. 

He mea noa te ruarua i a koe anō ina tūtaki koe ki te tinihanga kare ā-roto, engari kia mahara ko tō reo o roto te hoa rangatira nui. Whakapono ki ō tirohanga me ō wheako, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te wetewete i te tinihanga, ki te kimi anō i tō mana ake, me te waihanga i tētahi hononga hauora ake, pono ake. Koinei te taahiraa tino nui ki te ako me pēhea te whakatau i te tinihanga kare ā-roto i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

3. Whakaritea o rohe

He uaua te whakatakoto rohe, ina koa mēnā he hoa rangatira tinihanga tāu e mārena ana, ā, mēnā ko koe, ko koe rānei he iti te whakaaro nui o tō hoa ki a ia anō nā te mea he maha ngā wā ka ahua whaiaro. Heoi, ehara i te mea tēnā, ā, he mea nui kia whakamahara koe i a koe anō ki tēnei. Whakapaua te wā ki te tautuhi mārama i ō rohe, me te whakapuaki i aua rohe me te kaha. Kia kaha ki te whakapuaki i ngā mea e whakaaetia ana e koe, me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia e koe. Kia mahara, he mea nui kia whakatairangahia tō oranga ngākau ki runga ake i ngā mea katoa. Ka taea e koe te tīmata mā te,

• Te whai wā ki te whakaaroaro ki ō uara, ki ō hiahia, me ngā mea e pai ai tō noho haumaru me tō whakaute i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Te whakamahi i ngā kōrero "ahau" hei whakaū i ngā mea e whakaaetia ana e koe, me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia, pērā i te "Me whakaute me te pono ahau"
• Puritia ō rohe, ā, whakaūtia tonutia

4. Rapua te tautoko

I a koe e whakatere ana i ngā uauatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga e kī ana i te tukino, he mea nui te rapu tautoko. Whakapā atu ki te hunga e whai whakaaro nui ana ki ōu painga – ki ngā hoa pono, ki ngā mema o te whānau e mārama ana, ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro e mōhio ana ki ngā whara e tohunga ana ki ngā whanaungatanga. Bonobology's he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau Kei konei tonu hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i tēnei momo tukino kare ā-roto. Mā te whai i tētahi e arohaina ana e whakapono ana ki a koe ka taea e koe te whakamana i a koe ki te mahi i ngā huringa e tika ana, me te kimi i te kaha ki te whakatairanga i tō ake oranga. 

5. Whakaritea te tiaki whaiaro

I waenganui i ngā wero o ngā whanaungatanga hauora kore me te whakahaere i te whakawhirinakitanga o te tangata ki a ia anō, kaua e wareware ki te whakatairanga i te tiaki i a koe anō hei momo whakaora me te whakamana. Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi e hari ai koe, e whakamana ai hoki. whāngaihia tō hinengaro, tinana, me te wairua. Ahakoa he whai i ō mahi whakangahau, he mahi aroātahi, he whakatapu noa rānei i te wā ki te okioki me te whakahou i te tinana, me whakarite kia noho ora koe. Mā te tiaki i a koe anō, ka whakapakari koe i tō manawanui, ka hoki mai anō te mana ki te waihanga i tētahi heke mai hauora, harikoa hoki.

He taha kino ngā whanonga tukino kare ā-roto me te tutu ā-whare, e rua ngā taha o te moni kino kotahi, ko tētahi e aro ana ki ngā kare ā-roto, ko tētahi e aro ana ki te whānuitanga o ngā whanonga tukino me ngā whanonga paitini. Me aro atu, me tautoko hoki ngā taha e rua kia wetekina ai i roto i te mana o ēnei whanonga, kia waihangahia ai he taiao haumaru, hauora hoki.

Kāore he tangata e tika ana kia noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tinihanga, ā, he nui te ahotea o te whakaipoipo mena kāore he tangata e ngana ana ki te whakamahi i a koe. Nō reira, kia aro nui koe ki te mōhio ina ngana ana tētahi ki te tinihanga i a koe i roto i ō kare ā-roto. He tino uaua ki te mahi pēnā, nō reira, kia ata haere. Heoi, ki te mea ka haere tonu rātou ki te mahi pēnā - ina koa mēnā ka mahi tonu rātou i muri i tō whakamārama anō kei te takahi i ō rohe - kua tae ki te wā ki te tuku i a rātou kia haere atu. Kia mahara, ehara i te mea ko koe anake i roto i tō haerenga whakaora. Whakawhirinaki ki tō manawanui o roto, ā, awhi i tō uara. E tika ana kia arohaina koe, kia whakautehia, kia harikoa hoki. Kaua rawa e tukua tetahi kia kī atu i tētahi atu mea ki a koe.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei pou i te Pipiri 2023.

Te Tapatoru Whanaungatanga: Te Tikanga, te Hinengaro me ngā Huarahi hei Whakatau i a Ia

Ngā Take me ngā Tohu o tētahi Hononga Whakangoikore i te Wairua, me pēhea te Whakatikatika

Me wehe atu ahau i taku hoa tāne? 11 Ngā Tohu Kua Tae Pea te Wā

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.