He aha koe kāore anō kia hoki mai ki te kāinga? Āhea koe ka kawe mai i ngā kai? He aha koe kāore anō kia mutu tō tari? Mena nā ēnei pātai koe i whakaaro ai ki tō marena, kei te aro atu koe ki ngā tohu o tētahi wahine e tohe ana. Ka hoki mai koe i te mahi me te whakaaro kia whiwhi i te rangimārie, engari ko te mea i puta ko te pakanga.
Kāore te wahine e amuamu ana, e whakaute ana, e makona ki tana tāne, ā, ka whakaiti i a ia i ngā wā katoa e wātea ana. Ka tautohetohe ia i te rā roa, ka mimiti i te kaha o te tāne, ā, ka ngaro tana kaha ki te whakatau kaupapa, ā, ka tuku noa iho. Ko te ahotea o te wahine e amuamu ana he mea whakapataritari tonu mā te tāne.
E ai ki te kīanga, "He wahine harikoa, he oranga harikoa." Engari ki te mea kei te raru koe i te tohe tonu a tō wahine i a koe i ia taahiraa o te ara, e mōhio ana koe kāore te whakataukī e tika ana mōu. Mā āna tono tonu, āna amuamu, āna tawai me āna whakatoi ka whakaaro pea koe he aha te take e tohe tonu ai ngā wāhine. He aha te take e amuamu nui ai ngā wāhine, ā, ko te aha te mea hei kī atu ki tētahi wahine e tohe tonu ana hei wawahi i tēnei tauira ka noho hei mea ngaro nui rawa atu e ngana tonu ana koe ki te whakaoti.
Ki te mea kei te tohe tonu tō wahine ki a koe, me mahi noa koe i ētahi mea kia tika ai kia kore ai koe e mau i ngā taringa ina hoki koe ki te kāinga. Kei konei mātou hei kōrero atu ki a koe he aha aua mea, me te kōrero tahi me te kaitohutohu. Ridhi Korekāha (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga hinengaro kai ia, ā, he tohunga ki te tuku tohutohu mō ngā marena kore aroha, ngā wehenga me ētahi atu take whanaungatanga.
Ngā Tohu o te Wahine e Pōrearea ana
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai he wahine pukuriri tāu, ehara i te wahine e rerekē haere ana te wairua, e riri ana rānei i ētahi wā? Ka kōrerotia e mātou ngā āhuatanga o te wahine pukuriri kia pai ake ai tō whakatau i ō raruraru me tō wahine.
Ridhi e whakamārama ana, "Ko ētahi o ngā tohu o te wahine e amuamu ana ko te ahua ngoikore, te ahua he patunga tonu, te tino whakahaere nui." E whakamārama ana hoki ia i ētahi atu tohu hei tūpato māu:
- Aratau tāruarua kā: He maha ngā wā ka kōrerotia tonutia e tō wahine ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana ia ki te kōrero ki a koe. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o te wahine pukuriri ko te kore e taea e ia te kōrero i tētahi mea kotahi noa iho, ā, ka māia kua tae mai te karere.
- He taiao taumaha te kāinga: Kei te ahotea koe i tāu wahine e tohe ana, nā te mea ka meinga tonutia koe e ia kia whakaaro kāore koe i te mahi i te nui. Kāore te kupu "tono" i roto i tana papakupu. Ko tāna he tono me te whakahau anake. Ā, ki te kore aua tono e tutuki, ka mura tōna riri, ā, ka mataku koe mō ana riri pukuriri.
- Ka tino angitu ia i runga i te mana whakahaere: Ka puta tōna āhua he whakahaere freak"E hiahia ana ia ki te whakahaere i ngā mea katoa - ngā tamariki, te kāinga me ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe. Ka rite ia ki tētahi matua ki a koe, ehara i te hoa rangatira. Ko tētahi wahine e tohe ana, he whaea pea tōna āhua, ā, ka hiahia pea ia ki te whakahaere i ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō oranga. Tērā pea ka kitea ia he tino kaha rawa atu," te kī a Ridhi.
- I runga i tētahi misioni rapu hapa: "Ko te wahine e tohe ana ki a koe, ko te tikanga ka kitea tonutia e ia ngā hapa o āu mahi katoa. Ka whakahē ia i āu mahi katoa, ā, ka whakahē i ngā mahi aroha katoa. Ko te āhua o tō kōrua whanaungatanga he whakahē tonu, kāore hoki he maioha. Kāore ia e titiro ki āna ake mahi, engari ka aro tonu ia ki ngā whanonga a ētahi atu, inā koa ki ngā whanonga a te hoa rangatira," te whakamārama a Ridhi.
- Ka pāngia tō whanaungatanga: Ko te kimi huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi wahine totohe kei te pā kino ki tō hononga ki a ia. He hamama, he amuamu, he totohe tonu ia i ngā wā katoa. Ina moe kōrua i te pō, ka tino riri koe, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te awhi, me te moe tāne anō hoki.
- He mamae, he whakama hoki āna kupu: "Tērā pea ka whakamahia e te wahine e tohe ana ngā kōrero e tino whakaohooho ana, e whakaiti ana hoki i te mana o te hoa rangatira. Mēnā ka whakamahia e ia ngā kōrero pēnei i te "he mahi tonu tāu", "he aha atu anō tāu e tumanakohia ana!", "he tino koretake tōu mahi", "me whakawhirinaki atu ahau ki a koe ki te mahi i tēnei?", "I mōhio ahau ka wareware koe nā te mea kāore koe e whakarongo", kei te kite koe i ngā tohu mārama o te wahine e tohe ana i roto i tō marena," te kī a Ridhi.
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12 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatau i te Wahine e Pōrearea Ana
He aha te take e nui ai te amuamu a taku wahine? He aha ia te kore ai e mārama ki ahau? Me aha te kī atu ki tētahi wahine e amuamu ana kia marino ai ia? Koinei ētahi o ngā pātai e pātaihia ana e ngā tāne katoa e raruraru ana ki a rātou anō. I te nuinga o te wā, ina pōhēhē tō wahine, kāore koe e mōhio he aha.
Kātahi anō ka amuamu ia mō ngā mahi a te pēpi e whitu marama te pakeke, ā, kāore koe e mōhio ki te mea i tupu. Te whakahari i te wahine riri te āhua nei kāore e taea i roto i ēnei āhuatanga. Ka kite koe kei te pouri tonu tō wahine, ā, ka amuamu ngā wāhine ina pouri rātou, ina kore rānei e rite te haere o ngā mea ki tā rātou i whakamahere ai. I ētahi wā, ka rite tēnei amuamu ki tētahi tikanga o ia rā e hiahia ana koe ki te hamama i ōu pūkahukahu.
E ai ki a Kevin Drew (ingoa kua hurihia) i te wā i tomo ai ia ki te whare i muri i te mahi, ka tīmata tana wahine ki te amuamu. "Ka tīmata mā te kī, "Kua waiho e koe ngā tōkena ki te wāhi tika? Ko te koti i roto i te kāpata? Haere mai ki te kīhini, āwhina mai ki te tapatapahi i ngā huawhenua, piki ake rānei ki runga, āwhina i ngā tamariki ki te mahi kāinga..." Kāore he mutunga. Ka kōrero tonu ia. I te tīmatanga, ka riri ahau, engari kātahi ka mōhio ahau he tikanga tēnei e kore e taea e ia te whakakore."
I te mutunga ka hokona e Kevin tētahi wāhi iti māna, he mea ngaro i huna e ia i tana wahine, ā, ka tīmata ia ki te noho ko ia anake ki reira. "Ka kī atu ahau ki a ia kei te haereere ahau, ā, ka noho tonu ahau ki tōku wāhi. I kitea e au te rangimārie." Mena kei te pouri koe ki tāu wahine tautohetohe, ā, kua hoha koe ki te whana haere i te taha o te rori, anei te whai wāhi ki te whakamutu i tō mamae ake ake. Anei ngā huarahi 12 hei whakatau i tētahi wahine tohetohe.
1. Kaua e whakautu mai
Ina kī atu mātou kia kaua e whakautu, ehara i te mea me noho puku koe, me tuku noa i tāu wahine kia tohe tonu ki a koe. Ina tohe tonu tāu wahine ki a koe, me mārama koe kei roto ia i te āhua riri. Mā te tautohetohe me te whakautu ka kino noa iho te take.
Whakaarohia tētahi āhuatanga ka mea atu tō wahine, "Ka wareware tonu koe i ngā mea e kī atu ana ahau kia mahia e koe. He hē te whakawhirinaki ki a koe." Kaua e kī pēnei i te, "Āe, me mahi e koe. Kāore au e mahara ki ngā mea katoa", tatari kia mātao ia, kātahi ka kōrero mārire ki a ia. Tērā pea ka mārama ia ki tō taha o te kōrero.
Kei te ngana ki te whakamarara i tētahi āhuatanga i taua wā tonu, ā, ko tētahi o ngā mea tino nui ngā hapa whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e mahia ana e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. I nāianei, kua kite kē koe i te koretake o tēnei huarahi. Hei ārai i ngā pānga o te amuamu tonu ki tō hauora hinengaro me te hauora o tō marena, me whai wā okioki ina pahū te āhuatanga, ka hoki anō ki te take e pā ana i muri mai.
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2. Whāia tana arataki
Kāo, ehara i te mea ko tāu wahine tō rangatira, ā, ko ia te kaiwhakatau whakamutunga mō ngā mea katoa. Heoi, ki te tirohia te take e amuamu nui ai ngā wāhine, ko te take matua he ngenge rātou i te pikau i te nuinga o ngā kawenga o te whare. Ka mutu, ka arahi tēnei ki te riri, ā, ka puta mai i te ahua o te amuamu me te whawhai.
Mena kei te rapu koe i nga huarahi whakatau i tētahi wahine totohe, e amuamu tonu ana ki a koe mō ngā mea nunui, mō ngā mea iti, kua tae pea te wā ki te aro atu ki te wehewehenga ōrite o ō kawenga. Ki te kite koe ko ia te tangata e mahi ana i te nuinga o te mahi hei pupuri i te oranga o te whare, kua taunga pea ia ki te whakahaere i ngā mea i tana ake ara.
Ko te tere o tō whakaae ki tēnei meka, ko te māmā ake mōu. Nō reira, ngana pea ki te whai i tana ara, me te mahi i ngā mea i te ara e pai ana ki a ia – tera pea kei te tohe tonu ia nā te mea e whakaaro ana ia kei te pai te mahi a te pūnaha kua whakatakotoria e ia. Ki te tīmata kōrua ki te tautohetohe, ka haere tonu. Ki te totohe tō wahine ki a koe, ka hiahia te tāne mohio ki te takaro haumaru me te kī atu ki a ia he tika ia. Mā tēnei ka marino ia, ā, ka mutu tana totohe tonu mō tētahi wā. Ka iti iho hoki tō ahotea mai i te wahine e tohe ana.
3. Te whakatau i tētahi wahine e tohe ana – Kōrerohia
Ko te nuinga o ngā marena ka huri hei marena harikoa nā te mea te kore korero i waenganui i a rāua. Ki te mea kei te tohe tonu tō wahine ki a koe, ngana kia mārama te take. Me kōrero koe, me mārama hoki ki te raruraru. Kāore ngā mea e whakatika noa i a rātou anō. Mā te kōrerorero 15 meneti ka taea te whakatika i tētahi raruraru e toru marama te pakeke.
He tino wareware taku hoa, ā, i meinga ai tana wahine kia amuamu tonu ki a ia. I whakaaro ia he tikanga noa iho tēnei mā tana wahine. I tana kōrero ki a ia mō te tino take o tana amuamu, ka mōhio ia he raruraru iti noa iho, ā, ka ngana ia kia kaua e wareware. Ka mutu hoki te amuamu a tana wahine ki a ia.
Kāore he mea e kore e taea te whakaoti e te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora i waenganui i ngā hoa tokorua. Engari i te noho pōuri ki a koe anō me ngā pātai pēnei i te aha ngā wāhine e amuamu nui ai, whakapā atu ki tō wahine, ka ngana ki te rapu he aha ia i tīmata ai ki te amuamu nui ki a koe.
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4. Tāutuhia tō hapa, ā, whakapāha mai
Kia pono tātou, kāore pea koe i te tāne o te tau. Ki te mea kei te tohe tonu tō wahine ki a koe, ko te tikanga kua mahia e koe tetahi mea hei whakaoho i a ia. Kāore ngā wāhine e amuamu noa, e amuamu noa iho rānei. Pērā i te nuinga o ngā tāne, kāore koe e mōhio ki tāu i mahi ai hei whakaoho i a ia. Engari ko te pono, tera pea kei a koe te he. Tirohia ō mahi o mua, me te ngana ki te mārama ki te wāhi i hē ai koe.
Hei tīmatanga, kāore pea koe e whakatutuki ana i ō kawenga, e aro nui ana rānei ki tō umanga. Kei te whakatutuki koe i ngā kupu whakaari i oatitia e koe ki a ia i mua i te marena? Engari kaua e rapu i ngā tohu o te wahine e tohetohe ana, engari me rapu koe i te wāhi e hē ana koe.
"Hei whakatau i tētahi wahine totohe e amuamu tonu ana ki a koe, me whakaaroaro pea koe ki ō ake mahi me ō whanonga. Kimihia tētahi hapa, ā, whakapāha mai mōna, me te kore he pātai mēnā he "āe". E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakanui i konei, ina mahi koe me tētahi wahine totohe, kia mahara ko tēnei whanonga āna i ahu mai i te nui o te mamae me te mamae e puritia ana e ia."
"Kāore he tangata e pai ki te amuamu. He hua tēnei o ngā tau maha o te kore rongonga me te noho tahi me taua mamae mō te wā roa, nā reira, mō ngā mea iti ka amuamu anō hoki ngā wāhine. Kia mōhio koe ki tō hapa, whakapāha pono"... Mā te mihi aroha noa iho ka taea te huri i tētahi taniwha pukuriri hei wahine ataahua anō māu," te kī a Ridhi.
5. Whakarongo ki tāna e kī ana
He rongonui ngā tāne mō te kore aro ki ngā kōrero a ngā wāhine. Ina amuamu ā rātou wāhine ki a rātou, ka aro ngā tāne ki te wāhanga e amuamu ana ā rātou wāhine ki a rātou, engari kāore e whakarongo ki ngā kōrero a ā rātou wāhine i a rātou e amuamu ana. A te wā e amuamu ai tō wahine ki a koe, whakarongo ki āna kōrero i a ia e amuamu ana. Mēnā he āhuatanga āu kāore ia e pai ki a ia, he hapa rānei kua mahia e koe, me whakapai ake i aua mea kaua e tukua kia kino rawa atu te amuamu.
I ētahi wā, ka aro nui koe ki te whakamutu i te kōrero a tō wahine e amuamu ana, ā, kāore koe e aro ki tāna e kōrero ana. Kaua e pena. Hurihia koe. "Whakarongo ki tāna e kōrero ana. Kia taea ai e koe te whakatau i tēnei āhua kua whanakehia e tō hoa rangatira, me mārama tuatahi koe he aha ngā wāhine e amuamu ana. He maha ngā wā ka amuamu ngā wāhine nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore rātou e rangona. Ina whakaaro te tangata kāore rātou e rangona, ka whakarite rātou kia whakahuatia anōtia tētahi kōrero nā te mea e ngana ana rātou ki te whakamārama i tō rātou taha o te kōrero, me te whakarite kia tae atu tā rātou kōrero ki te tangata kē."
"Hei ārai i te amuamu a tō wahine, he mea nui kia whakarongo tuatahi koe, kia mārama hoki ki te kaupapa e ngana ana rātou ki te whakapuaki. Kia mōhio ia kua whakarongo koe ki tāna i kōrero ai, ā, kua mārama hoki ki tēnā. Ki te pērā koe, kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakawhānui ake, ki te whakanui ake rānei i taua kaupapa anō. Mā te mā te whakarongo pai ake, ka taea e koe te whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga "ā, āwhina i tāu wahine e tohetohe ana ki te wawahi i tēnei tikanga kua waiho pea hei pūtake o te pakanga," te kī a Ridhi.
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6. Ngāna kia kite i ngā mea mai i tana tirohanga
Ngāna kia mārama koe ki te take e pēnei ai te whanonga a tō wahine. Tū atu ki roto i ōna tūranga kia mārama ai koe ki ōna tirohanga. Ki te mea ka mau tonu ia te whakaara ake i ngā hapa o mua, kia mārama koe ki te take. Mēnā kei roto i tō hinengaro ētahi atu mea, tērā pea kāore koe e mārama ki te take o te riri o tō wahine. Mā te titiro ki ngā mea mai i tana tirohanga, tērā pea ka taea e koe te mārama ake ki a ia, ā, ka kitea he huarahi hei whakatau i tana amuamu.
"He mea tino nui te titiro ki ngā mea mai i tana tirohanga nā te mea he rerekē ngā papamuri o te katoa, ā, he rerekē hoki ā rātou kawenga, ā rātou mamae me ā rātou wheako o mua. Ko te whakautu ki te pātai he aha i riri ai ngā wāhine, tera pea nō roto i ō rātou hītori. Tērā pea kei te riri ia i tēnei rā nā tetahi mea, nā tetahi rānei i hara ki a ia i mua."
"Tērā pea ka whakaaro ia kāore i tika te ao, kua tinihangatia rānei ia, kāore rānei āna tumanakohanga i tutuki. Hei whakatau i te amuamu a te wahine, me pātai atu koe ki a ia he aha te mea e mamae ana ia, mēnā rānei he mea kei te pupuri tonu ia i a ia, me te ngana ki te mārama ki te tirohanga nā te mea ka taea e tēnā te whakaora i te whanaungatanga," te kī a Ridhi.
7. Kōrerohia tō tirohanga
He mea nui kia mārama tō wahine ki tō tirohanga. Ina tohe tonu tō wahine ki a koe, kōrerotia ō kare ā-roto. Kōrerotia te nui o te pānga o tana tohe ki tō rangimārie hinengaro, me te whakararuraru hoki i ō mahi katoa. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kei te whakahaere ia i a koe, kōrerotia atu. Kia mōhio tō wahine ki te pānga o tana tohe ki a koe.
E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "Pērā i te hiranga o te whakarongo me te mārama ki ōna tirohanga, kia kore ai tō wahine e amuamu, me whakapuaki hoki e koe ō tirohanga mō ngā take e rerekē ai, e taupatupatu ai rānei ō tirohanga. He rerekē ō kōrua papamuri, ā, tera pea he rerekē ō kōrua whakapono e rerekē ai tō kōrua tirohanga ki ngā whanaungatanga." Te whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tō whanaungatanga ka taea te mahi hei piriti mō ēnei rerekētanga.
"Nā tēnei ka tae mai tētahi atu pātai nui – he aha te mea hei kōrero ki tētahi wahine e tohe ana? Kia arotahi ki te whakaputa i ō tirohanga me te kore whakapae, te whakatakoto whakapae, te whakahē rānei i āna kōwhiringa, i āna tumanakohanga rānei. Hei tauira, mēnā kua tohe tonu tō wahine kia hoki koe ki te kāinga i tētahi wā engari kāore e taea e ō herenga ngaio, me kī atu ki a ia kei te ngana koe ki te whakatū pakihi, ki te whai rānei koe ki te whiwhi i taua whakatairanga whai hua (ahakoa he aha ō whāinga) ā, he wawata āu e hiahia ana kia tutuki."
"Ina whakamārama koe i tō taha o te kōrero ki a ia, tera pea ka mārama ia, ka kite rānei i tō pūtake, ā, e kore e whakanui i te take. Ina whakatikahia he take i te wā e ara ake ana, ka taea e koe te whakamutu wawe tonu. Mā tēnei, kāore koe e hoatu he wā ki a ia ki te amuamu i a koe mō taua mea anō i ia rā, i ia rā. Ka mutu tonu te kaupapa i taua wā tonu."
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8. Mahi ki a koe ano
He maha ngā wāhine e pōuri ana nā te mea kei te noho tonu ngā tāne me te mea he takakau, ā, kāore e hiahia ki te whakapau kaha ki te pakeke ake, ki te whakapai ake hoki i ngā pūkenga ora. Tērā pea e tumanako ana ia kia āwhina koe i ngā mahi o te whare. E hiahia ana rānei ia kia nui ake tō aroha ki a ia.
Me mārama koe kua moe tāne koe ināianei, ā, he maha ngā kawenga me ngā herenga e kawea mai ana e te marena. Me whakarite e koe ngā kawenga e pā ana ki te marena i roto i tōu ao. Mahihia ō tikanga tawhito, me te ngana ki te whakapai ake i aua tikanga kia pai ake ai, kia nui ake ai hoki tō kawenga ki tāu wahine.
Tīmata ki ngā mea iti pēnei i te kī pinepine atu "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" ki tāu wahine, te kawe mai i ngā kai, te horoi i ngā rīhi, me ērā atu mea. Kua tae ki te wā kia pakeke ai, kia noho hei pakeke. Mā te whakaaro nui me te ngā mahi aroha mōna, ka taea e koe te whakaatu i a ia kua rite koe hei hoa rangatira māna i roto i te tikanga tuturu o te kupu. Kia mōhio rawa ia ki taua mea, ka mutu tana whakatoi i a koe.
9. Kia mārama ki tana tūranga, kaua ki tāu
He rerekē ngā tapanga a te tāne me te wahine, e hangai ana ki ō rāua kawenga me ō rāua whanaungatanga. Tērā pea he tapanga a tō wahine pērā i te tamāhine, te wahine, te whaea, te kaipakihi me ērā atu. He rerekē anō hoki ngā tapanga a te tāne pērā i te tāne, te kaipakihi, te tama, me ērā atu.
Ko te rerekētanga i konei, ahakoa he rite tonu ngā ingoa o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine o ēnei rā, he tino rerekē ngā tūranga me ngā kawenga o rāua. Ka kaha ake ngā wāhine ki te whakatutuki i ā rāua kawenga, ā, ka noho hei tohunga ki te mahi i ngā mahi maha i te wā kotahi. Ina kore ngā tāne e tutuki i ā rāua tūranga me ā rāua kawenga, koinei te wā ka tīmata te amuamu a ngā wāhine.
Me mārama koe ehara tō wahine i te wahine toa, ā, ko tōna taha tangata te mea e tohe ana ki a koe hei karanga āwhina. Hei aukati i te tohe a tō wahine, kua tae pea te wā ki te tautuhi anō i ngā tūranga ira tangata i roto i tō kōrua marena, ā, me hanga hei hononga ōrite.
Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu He Wahine Whakahīhī Tāu
10. Whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki a ia
Ko te marena he mea e pā ana ki ngā whakarerekētanga me ngā whakaae. Me whakaae kōrua ki ētahi wāhanga o tō kōrua oranga whaiaro kia tutuki ai ō kōrua herenga ki te marena. Whiriwhiria me tō hoa wahine kia tae atu ki tētahi otinga whai hua. Kāore he mea e kore e taea te whakatau, ā, ka taea e kōrua te whakatakoto mahere.
Ki te riri tō wahine ki a koe, me te kī atu kia horoia e koe ngā rīhi i ia rā, me kī atu ki a ia, "E hoa, he uaua ngā Wenerei me ngā Rāhoroi i te tari. Māku e horoi ngā rīhi i ētahi atu rā." Kāore he mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri. E kī ana a Ridhi, "Ko te whiriwhiri te mea nui hei whakatau i te riri o te wahine i te huarahi tika. He mea anō hoki tēnei ka whakautua e te wahine riri, kia kite ai ia kua rite koe ki te whakatau i waenganui i a ia."
"Āe, kāore e taea te tumanako kia tutuki i a koe te 100% o ana hiahia me ana wawata, engari kaua e neke atu i te 0 ki te 10 i runga i te tauine o te kaha i roto i te whanaungatanga, engari ka taea e koe te tūtaki ki a ia i te iti rawa i te 5. Ka tukuna atu hoki e tēnei te karere me tūtaki anō hoki ia ki a koe i waenganui, nā te mea kāore he tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga e taea te hikoi tae noa ki te mutunga - ko ia, ko koe rānei. Me titiro anō tātou ki te tauira o tāu wahine e tohe ana kia hoki wawe mai koe ki te kāinga. Me kī atu e tumanako ana ia kia hoki koe ki te kāinga i te 5, i te 6 rānei i te ahiahi, ā, ko te tikanga ka hoki mai koe i te tari i muri i te 10 i te pō."
"Nō reira, ina kōrero mai tō wahine mō tō hokinga mai i te wā tika, kaua e whakahē me te kī, "He aha te nui o te amuamu a ngā wāhine?", arotahi ki te whakatakoto i tētahi whakaritenga e pai ana mō kōrua. Tērā pea ka taea e kōrua te whakaae ka hoki mai kōrua i te 7 karaka, kaua i te 10 karaka i te pō, ka hoki mai rānei kōrua i te wā tika i ngā rā e toru o te wiki, ā, ko te toenga o te wā, arotahi ki tāu mahi, ā, kāore ia e whakararuraru i a koe."
11. Tonoa kia whakaaetia koe e ia
Ka pāpouri te ngākau ina kore tō wahine e whakaae ki a koe mō tō āhua. Ka tīmata te ngākau māhaki ki te uru mai ā, ka whakararu i te pūtake o tō marena. Ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga o te wahine pukuriri. Ka tīmata te heke o tō wairua me tō whakaaro ki a koe anō nā te mea e whakaatu tonu ana tō wahine i tōna kore whakaae ki a koe i ngā wā katoa.
Kōrero atu ki tō wahine ko ia te tangata i moe ai ia, ā, i mōhio ia ko wai koe i mua i te marena. Kāore te marena e huri i te tangata hei tangata kē i te pō kotahi. Me whakaae ia ki a koe mō tō āhua kia angitu ai tēnei marena. I taua wā anō, arotahi ki te noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe. Kia kore ai koe e aro ki tētahi wahine e tohe ana ki a koe mō ngā mea iti katoa, ā, kia kore ai ia e huri hei wahine whakamataku e tohe ana.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te mauahara i roto i te marena? – e kī ana te tohunga ki a koe
12. Korero ki tetahi kaitohutohu
He maha ngā painga o te tohutohu ā, ka taea e ia te āwhina i a koe mēnā kāore anō kia kitea e koe he otinga mō ngā raruraru o tō oranga marena. Ki te kore e mutu te amuamu me te totohe a tō wahine ahakoa tāu e mahi ai, kua tae ki te wā mō tētahi huinga kanohi hou me tētahi tirohanga hou.
Mā te whakauru atu ki te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te whakapuaki i ō kōrua whakaaro tetahi ki tetahi i roto i ngā huarahi tino miharo. Ka puta ake aua tau katoa o te riri me te pōuri i puritia. Ka taea e kōrua te whakaatu i ō kōrua āhua tūturu ki mua i a kōrua, ā, ka kitea te pūtake o tō kōrua raruraru.
Ko te tikanga o te amuamu i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te whakaatu tonu i te koretake ki tō hoa. E mōhio ana tō wahine ki te mea pai mōu ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te whakahē. He mea whakamiharo te mahi a tōna tuaono o ngā kare ā-roto me te mārama ki te taiao i ēnei wā. Kāore te amuamu e puta mai i hea noa mai. Mena ka pahū noa tō wahine, he tino hē tetahi mea.
Ko ētahi wāhine ka amuamu nā te kaha tāne e akiaki ana i roto i a rātou. E whakaaro ana rātou me noho rātou hei mana rangatira, hei mea kia amuamu tonu ai rātou. Mena kei te amuamu tō wahine ki a koe mō ngā mea iti ka taea e koe te whakapai ake, ka taea e koe te mahi i a koe anō me te whakapai ake i ō tikanga. Engari ki te kore e tika te tono a tō wahine, me whakaaro koe ki ētahi mea.
Nā te moe i roto i ngā rūma moe motuhake i pai ake ai rāua hei tokorua
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Pūrongohia he Hapa Aue, me i whakapiko koe i tēnei tuhinga "11 ngā mea KAUA e mahia, me kōrero ki tētahi kaitohutohu"
Nui atu ngā mea i akohia e au i roto i ngā kōrero i tua atu i te tuhinga
He aha taku i pānui ai… he mea tuhi 100% nā te wahine. E ngā tama mā, kaua e whakarongo ki ngā tohutohu a ngā wāhine mō te whanaungatanga… AKE TONU.
Tētahi atu wahine kāore i te harikoa ki āna mea, nō reira, he wāhi noa iho ngā wāhine mō te moepuku. Kāore he tāne, he wahine rānei e mataku ki te tuku i a rātou ki ēnei momo tukino. Kāore rawa ō pūkenga ora.
I taku panuitanga i te rārangi i te arokite rapu Google, i mahara ahau nā ngā wāhine tēnei i tuhi. Kāore i rerekē i te whiwhi tohutohu mātua mai i tētahi kāore he tamariki. Ko te tikanga o tēnei "kei te amuamu tō wahine nā te mea he tāne kino koe". Ko te huarahi tūturu hei whakamutu i te amuamu ko te kī "āe e hoa" ka peke ake ka mahi i tana e amuamu tonu ana.
I tino whakapau kaha te kaituhi ki te tuhi i tēnei tuhinga. Engari kāore i te tino kitea he tohutohu āwhina i roto i tēnei tuhinga. Kāore au i te hiahia ki te amuamu.
Kia ora Ryan, e mihi ana mātou ki tō whakaaro pono, ā, ka tirohia anō hoki e mātou. Ngā mihi nui ki a koe.
E ai ki ngā tuhinga a ētahi atu, he tuhinga tino aro ki ngā wāhine tēnei. He para noa iho te tuhinga katoa, engari ko te #12 (tirohia he kaiārahi). Heoi, e whakaaro ana tēnā ka taea e te tangata te kati i tōna waha, ā, ka taea te whakarongo. Kāore i tupu ki ahau. E mārama ana kāore ngā tāne i te tino tika, ā, ka hē tātou. Ka whakatakotoria e tēnei tuhinga te whakapae katoa ki te tāne, he mea whakakatakata. Ko te take kotahi i ngā tau 70 i te wā kāore i taea e Gloria Steinem rāua ko Anita Bryant te kōrero mō ō rāua tirohanga … nā te mea kāore tetahi i pai ki te whakarongo, ā, ME rite te whakaaro o ngā wāhine katoa (wareware te takitahi). Kāore au i te kite i tētahi mea kua rerekē.
Nō reira, ina kī koe "whakatauria te raruraru" ehara i te mea ko te whakatika i te raruraru te tikanga, engari me ako noa ki te whakaae kia riria koe i ia meneti? He tino āwhina tēnā.
@Dennis, ko aku whakaaro tonu tēnā. I rapu huarahi ahau ki te kōrero ki taku wahine mō tana hiahia tonu ki tētahi mea, ahakoa kei te mahi ahau. He kī noa iho tēnei "he ure tāu, he hē tāu". Koinei te momo kōrero wairangi e whakapūmau ana i ngā marena kino.
Ko te kī a tēnei tuhinga, he tika tonu te wahine e tohe ana, ā, me whakaae noa te tāne ki tēnā, nā te mea, he "hē tonu" ngā tāne. He kōrero kore āwhina a Hit, e whakawhiti ana i te whakapae ki tētahi ira tangata, me te whakaaro me whakaae tonu tētahi ira tangata kei te hē rātou, ā, ka tau te rangimārie. I roto i te poto, he kōrero noa iho tēnei tuhinga, he tikanga noa iho, ā, kāore he hua mō te hunga e ngana ana ki te whakatika i tā rātou marena.