He riri tonu taku wahine, ā, he pōuri hoki: Ngā take me ngā huarahi hei whakatau

Whakaarohia tēnei: ​​Kei te mahi koe i te mea pai rawa atu - te haere ki te mahi, te āwhina i ngā mahi o te whare, te noho tahi me ngā tamariki - engari kei te kimi tonu tō wahine i ngā hapa, ā, kāore e ngaro i a ia te whai wāhi ki te whakamōhio atu ki a koe. Ko te noho i roto i tētahi wā pēnei, i te wā e riri tonu ana, e pōuri ana hoki taku wahine, he wheako uaua ki te kare ā-roto i akiaki i ahau ki te ruku hohonu ki ngā āhuatanga uaua o ngā whanaungatanga. I aua wā uaua, ka noho tō mātou kāinga hei papa pakanga o ngā pouri kāore i kōrerotia, ngā āwangawanga kāore i whakatauhia, me ngā titiro mate, ka waiho ahau kia tautohetohe ki te pātai pōhēhē mō te huarahi ki te whakatere i tēnei awha i roto i tō mātou marena. I taku kitenga i ahau anō e kī ana ki ahau anō, "He riri tonu taku wahine, ā, e pōuri ana," ka akiaki i ahau ki te rapu māramatanga, ā, i te mutunga, i ngā otinga hei whakatika i te pakaru e tipu haere ana i waenganui i a māua.

I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka tūhuratia e mātou ngā take e riri tonu ai tētahi hoa, me te whakamārama i ngā take matua e kore e kitea. Nō reira, pānuihia mēnā kei te whakaaro koe he riri tonu tāu wahine, he maha rānei āu amuamu ki ō hoa noho tata, ki ō hoa rānei, "I patua ahau e taku wahine." Hei tāpiri, ka rukuhia e mātou ngā huarahi whai hua hei aro atu ki ēnei āwangawanga, hei whakatairanga i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te aroha, ā, hei whakamutunga, he ara ki te whakaora i roto i te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, kaua e pouri me te whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i te riri o te wahine, pānuihia tonu…

He aha te take e riri tonu ai taku hoa ki ahau?

He wheako whakapoauau, whakawero hoki te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga e ahua riri tonu ana tō hoa. Ā, whakapono mai ki a mātou, ka uaua pea koe ki ngā wāhine riri. Tērā pea ka noho puku ō whakaaro ki te whakaaro tonu "He riri tonu taku wahine, ā, he pouri tonu" ka whakararuraru i a koe, ka whakapūmau i te whakaaro pōhēhē me te hiahia kia whakatau. He mea nui te mārama ki ngā pūtake o te riri tonu o tō hoa hei whakatipu i tētahi hononga hauora ake, pai ake hoki, me te karo i tētahi... hononga kino.

He mea noa ake pea te whai hoa e raru ana i te riri i tō whakaaro. Hei tētahi Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kī ana, "E whitu tau māua e marena ana, ā, e rua ā māua tamāhine (3.5 me te 2 tau te pakeke). He pono kei a māua ngā mea katoa e pai ana ki a māua (ngā mahi pai e pai ana ki a māua, ā, he utu nui, he hoa pai me te whānau, he tamāhine atamai, he ātaahua, me ētahi atu) engari he riri tonu ia mō ngā mea katoa, ā, e riri tonu ana ki ahau mō (ki taku titiro) ngā mea iti kāore e tika kia whakaoho i tōna riri pēnei (hei tauira, te taenga mai i te 10 meneti te tomuri, te kore rānei e taea te whiriwhiri i ngā kākahu tika mō ā māua tamāhine). Ki te kore e riri ki ahau mō tētahi mea motuhake, he whanonga tōna, ā, he āhua whakarihariha ngā mea katoa. Ki te kōrero māua, tata tonu te whakaaro ki te nui o tana kino ki tēnei, ki tēnā rānei, tae atu ki te hunga e whakaaro ana ki a māua he hoa, ki ōna mātua/tuahine rānei, me ētahi atu."

I roto i tēnei tūhuratanga, ka rukuhia e mātou ngā āhuatanga maha ka whai wāhi ki te riri tonu o tō hoa. Mai i ngā take whaiaro e pā ana ki ngā tumanakohanga kāore anō kia tutuki i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko tā mātou whāinga he whakamārama i ngā mea ka puta pea. Mā te wetewete i ēnei uauatanga, ko taku tumanako ka whakaratohia he māramatanga me ngā rautaki hei whakatakoto i te ara mō korero tuwhera, te aroha, me tētahi huarahi whai hua ki te mārama ki te riri, me te aro atu me te whakatau i ngā wero kei roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakahaere i te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga - 12 ngā huarahi hei whakahaere i te riri

1. Ana tumanakohanga kāore anō kia tutuki

He maha ngā wā ka amuamu koe, "Ka riri taku wahine mō ngā mea iti noa iho"? Ko ngā tumanakohanga kāore anō kia tutuki i roto i te marena ka mahi hei kaiwhakangaro puku, ka memeha haere te turanga o te whanaungatanga, ka whakatakoto huarahi mō te riri kia puta. I roto i te horopaki o te marena, he maha ngā wā ka kitea te riri kāore anō kia whakatauhia i roto i ngā āputa huna i waenganui i ngā tumanakohanga me te mooni. Hei hoa mahi, kua... ngā tumanakohanga i roto i ō tātou whanaungatanga, ko ētahi he mea whakapuaki, ko ētahi e noho huna ana i raro i te mata, he mea awehia e ngā tikanga pāpori, ngā wheako whaiaro, me ngā hiahia. Hei tauira, he maha ngā wā kāore ngā tāne e āwhina i te whare kia rite ki te hiahia o ā rātou wāhine nā te mea kāore pea te wahine i whakapuaki i ana tumanakohanga.

Ina kore e tutuki ēnei tumanakohanga i muri i te wā marena, ka pirau te riri, ka huri hei riri. Ka huri hei urupare ā-roto ki te āputa i waenganui i ngā mea i whakaarohia me te ao o nāianei. Ahakoa he matea kare ā-roto kāore i tutuki, he tumanako kāore i whakapuakina mō ngā tūranga me ngā kawenga, he tirohanga rerekē rānei mō ngā whāinga tahi, ka taea e te rerekētanga te hanga i tētahi wāhi whakatupu mō te riri.

2. Tōna āwangawanga ki ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia

Nā, he aha te mea e riri ai ngā wāhine riri? Mā te wahine e aro nui ana ki ngā take o mua kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ka taea e ia te whakamarumaru i te ao o nāianei, ka tāpirihia te taumahatanga me te raruraru o te ngākau ki te whanaungatanga. Ina kore e whakatauhia ngā pakanga o mua, ka taea e rātou te mahi hei au huna, ka awe i ngā taunekeneke me ngā tauhohenga o nāianei. Tērā pea he mea nō tōna ake ao o mua pēnei i:

• Te kino o te whare
• Ko te warewaretanga o nga matua
• Te tukino i te tamarikitanga

Tērā pea ka pā tēnei momo taumahatanga kare ā-roto ki te hunga e whakatere ana i ngā uauatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga e mau tonu ana ngā amuamu o mua, ā, koinei pea te take e riri tonu ai, e whakaaro kino ai tāu wahine.

He maha ngā wā ka huri ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia hei raruraru kare ā-roto pērā i te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō, ka waiho hei arai ki te hononga pono me te māramatanga. Ahakoa i ahu mai i ngā māramatanga kore, i ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, i ngā huihuinga mamae rānei, ka puta mai ēnei raruraru roa hei riri, hei pouri, hei ahua pouri whānui rānei - he kare ā-roto tuarua ki te take tūturu kei raro. Ko te wero ehara i te mea ko te mohio ki te pānga o ngā take o mua engari ko te whakatipu i tētahi taiao e noho haumaru ai ngā hoa tokorua, e whakatenatenahia ana hoki ki te hoki anō me te whakatau i ēnei āwangawanga roa.

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Rautaki Hei Whakamutu i te Whawhai i roto i te Hononga

3. Te hau o te kino e horapa ana i roto i tō whanaungatanga

Ina horapa te hau kino ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, ka taea e ia te whakamarumaru i ngā wā e noho tahi ana, ka waiho ngā hoa tokorua kia raru i te taumaha o te kore harikoa. Ki te kore e taea e koe te karo i te whakaaro, "Kei te pakaru te marena i te riri o taku wahine," he tohu tēnei mō te memeha haere o te āhuarangi kare ā-roto i waenganui i ngā hoa tokorua. He maha ngā wā ka puta tēnei āhuatanga hei ia o te kore harikoa tonu, ka hangaia he taiao e ngaro ai te harikoa, ā, ka noho te taumahatanga hei mea noa.

He maha ngā āhua o te kino, mai i tautohetohe tonu ki te ahua whānui o te kore makona, te wehe atu rānei i te ngākau. He maha ngā wā ka puta mai i te huinga o ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, ngā pakanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia, me te pakaru o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Ki te kore e arohia, ka taea e tēnei āhuatanga kino te uru ki roto i ngā āhuatanga katoa o te whanaungatanga, ka pā ki te huarahi o nāianei me te heke mai o te hononga.

4. Ōna hiahia kare ā-roto kāore anō kia tutuki

Ina riri tonu taku wahine, ā, e pouri ana, ka kitea e au he maha ngā wā ka noho puku ngā hiahia kare ā-roto kāore i ea, hei whakaoho kaha i te koretake. Tērā pea he tono puku tēnei koretake mō hononga kare ā-roto, te whakamana, te tautoko rānei kāore anō kia tutuki. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe, "He aha i riri tonu ai taku hoa ki ahau?", kia maumahara ki tēnei: ​​ina kore e kitea, e kore rānei e arohia ngā matea kare ā-roto taketake, ka puta te riri me te mauahara, ka arahi ki te riri whānui, ka pouri ai ngā hoa e rua.

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu o te Wehenga Kare ā-roto i roto i tō Hononga

5. Ngā momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kāore i te ōrite

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe he aha te mea e riri ai ngā wāhine riri? Ko ngā momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rerekē i roto i te whanaungatanga ka waiho hei wāhi whakatupu i te riri me te pōuri tonu, ā, he take pea tēnei e riri tonu ai, e kino ai hoki tō wahine. Mēnā he rerekētanga nui i roto i ō kōrua momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ka arahi pea ō kōrua taunekeneke ki ngā māramatanga kore me te piki haere o ngā taupatupatu. Ka puta pea ēnei hei taupatupatu i waenganui i:

• Te tika me te ngawari
• Te māia me te kore mahi
• Ngā tohu ā-waha me ngā tohu kore-waha

Ā, ko tēnei momo hē o te whakarārangi, te kore korero ka taea te waihanga i tētahi pūtake tautohetohe pumau.

I a tātou e wetewete ana i ngā uauatanga e whai wāhi ana ki te riri tonu o te hoa, ka mārama ake te haerenga ki te whakatau me te whakahou. Nā, me neke tātou ki te wāhanga e whai ake nei, ka tūhuratia e tātou ngā tohutohu 11 mō te whakahaere i tētahi wahine riri, me te tuku i ngā māramatanga me ngā rautaki whai hua hei whakarerekē i ngā āhuatanga o te riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Ko te whāinga o ēnei tohutohu he poipoi i te māramatanga, he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, ā, hei te mutunga ka whakatakoto i te ara mō tētahi hononga pakari ake, whai hua ake hoki.

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero Pai ake ki tō Hoa

Me pēhea te whakatau i te riri o te wahine: 11 ngā tohutohu whai hua

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakahari i taku wahine riri? Āe, ko te aro atu ki te riri o tāu wahine ka tīmata mā te whakaae ki ngā āhuatanga rerekē o ngā kare ā-roto me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko ia tohutohu i roto i tēnei wāhanga kua hangaia hei whakarato i ngā mahi hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i te raruraru 'me pēhea te whakatau i te wahine riri'. Ehara i te mea ka āwhina noa ēnei tohutohu i a koe ki te whakaiti i ngā taumahatanga o nāianei engari ka whakatakoto hoki i te turanga mō tētahi hononga hauora ake, pakari ake hoki. 

Mai i te whakarongo kaha ki te whakatipu i te aroha i roto i tō whanaungatanga me te tūhura i ngā otinga tiritahi, ko te whāinga o ēnei tohutohu he whakaatu ki a koe he aha te mea hei mahi ina riri tō wahine ki a koe. Ka whakamanahia hoki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki ngā taputapu e hiahiatia ana e rātou hei huri i te riri hei whai wāhitanga mō te tipu, te māramatanga, ā, hei mutunga, hei hononga taurite ake.

1. Whakarongo mārie

Nō reira, kei te pātai pinepine koe ki a koe anō, "Me pēhea taku whakahaere i tētahi wahine riri?" Ko te whakarongo kaha he wāhanga matua o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua, inā koa i te wā e whakahaere ana i te riri o te wahine. Kei roto i tēnei ko te aro nui ki tō hoa rangatira i a ia e whakapuaki ana i ōna whakaaro, i ōna kare ā-roto, me ōna āwangawanga. Hei whakaharatau i te whakarongo kaha:

• Whakamutua nga whakararuraru: He mea nui te whiriwhiri i tētahi wāhi marino, marino hoki mō tēnei
• Whakaratohia ngā tohu ā-waha me ngā tohu kore-waha: Whakaaturia kei te tino aro koe ki te kōrero. Me titiro kanohi ki a koe, me te pupuri i te tū e whakaatu ana i tō hiahia.
• Whakamātauria te whakarongo whakaaroaro: He tikanga tēnei i roto i te whakarongo kaha, e whakamārama ana, e whakahoki ana rānei i ngā kōrero a tō hoa wahine. Ehara i te mea ko te whakaatu anake tēnei kei te aro koe, engari ka taea hoki te whakamārama me te te whakamana i ōna kare ā-rotoHei tauira, ka taea e koe te kī, "Me te mea kei te pōuri koe nā X. He tika tēnā?" Mā tēnei huarahi ka mārama tika koe ki ōna tirohanga, ā, he taahiraa nui tēnei ki te huarahi tika mēnā kei te hiahia koe kia harikoa tō wahine e riri ana.
• Kaua e whakahāwea: Engari ko te noho puku, koinei te mahi a te tini o ngā tāne, ko te whakarongo kaha ko te pupuri i te whakahē me te kore e whakatakoto i tāu whakautu i a ia e kōrero ana. Engari, arotahi ki te mārama pono ki tana tirohanga.

He pai te urupare a te nuinga o te tangata ki te whakarongo kaha me te whakaaroaro. Mā te ngana ki te mārama ki ōna kare ā-roto me ōna wheako, ka hangaia e koe he āhuarangi whakawhirinaki me te tuwhera, he mea nui tēnei mō te ako me pēhea te whakahari i tō wahine ina riri ia.

2. Whakaatuhia te aroha ki tōna āhua pōuri

Kei te whakaaro tonu ahau, "He aha i riri tonu ai taku wahine?" I ngā wā e riri tonu ana taku wahine, e pouri ana hoki, ka kitea e au he mea nui te whakapuaki i tōku aroha ki a ia ki te whakatika i tō māua whanaungatanga. Ko te whakapuaki i te aroha he nui atu i te mārama noa ki ngā kare ā-roto o tō wahine; engari he mea nui te whakapuaki i taua māramatanga i roto i te huarahi e whakamana ana i ōna kare ā-roto. Ina te whakatau i te riri o te hoa, he taputapu kaha te aroha ki te hanga hononga me te whakaiti i te taumahatanga. Anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi:

• Tīmata mā te whakaae ki ōna kare ā-roto me te kore whakahē
• Mā ngā kīanga pēnei i te "Kei te kite ahau kei te tino pāngia koe e tēnei āhuatanga" me te "Mehemea he uaua ki te whakaaro pēnei" ka whakapuaki i tō mōhio me tō āwangawanga. Nō reira, whakamahia ēnei kupu hei utu mō te amuamu, "Ka riri taku wahine mō ngā mea iti noa iho"
• Mā te whakaatu e mārama ana koe ki te hohonutanga o ōna kare ā-roto ka poipoi i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto, ā, ka whakaū anō hoki he tika ōna kare ā-roto.
• Ko te aroha ki a ia anō hoki, ko te whai wāhi atu ki ōna wheako kare ā-roto, ahakoa kāore pea koe e tino mārama, e whakaae rānei ki ōna tirohanga. Whakamahia ngā kōrero pēnei i te "Kāore pea au e tino mārama ki ō wheako, engari e hiahia ana ahau ki te tautoko i a koe" hei whakaatu i tō hiahia ki te tū ki tōna taha.

Mā te whakaatu i te aroha, ka hangaia e koe he taiao e rongo ai tō wahine kei te whakarongohia, kei te māramahia, ā, kei te tautokona. Mā tēnei whakamana kare ā-roto ka whakatakoto i te tūāpapa mō ngā kōrero whai hua me te whakaoti rapanga tahi, ka whai wāhi ki te hauora whānui me te manawanui o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Koinei te huarahi hei whakatau pai i te riri o tō wahine.

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3. Tāutuhia ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a ia

Kei te whakaaro koe me aha koe ina riri tō wahine ki a koe? Ko te mārama me te tautuhi i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te riri o tō wahine he taahiraa nui ki te ako me pēhea te whakamarie i te riri o te wahine. Ka rerekē ngā mea e whakaoho ana, mai i ētahi whanonga, kaupapa kōrero, tae atu ki ngā āhuatanga motuhake. Koinei te huarahi hei whakatau i te riri o te wahine:

• Mahi tahi ki te tautuhi i ēnei mea whakaohooho, kia taea ai e ngā hoa tokorua te matapae me te whakatere i ngā pūtake pea o te taumahatanga ina ka huri ia kōrero hei tautohe
• Whakauru atu ki te kōrero tuwhera, pono hoki, he mea nui tēnei i roto i tēnei tukanga. Whakatenatenahia tō wahine kia whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto me ōna māramatanga mō ngā āhuatanga e whakaoho ana i te riri.
• Whakapuakina ōu ake kitenga, ā, kia aro mai ki ngā urupare
• Tāutuhia ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te raruraru mā te mahi tahi, nā te mea mā te mahi pera ka hangaia he tūāpapa mō te whakaoti rapanga matatau, kaua ki te pakanga tauhohe.
• Whakawhanakehia he rautaki hei whakahaere, hei karo rānei i ēnei mea whakaoho ina taea. Tērā pea ka uru atu ki tēnei te whakatakoto i ngā rohe mārama, te whakatū i ngā tikanga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te kimi rānei i ngā whakataunga hei whakaiti i te pānga o ēnei mea whakaoho ki ngā hoa e rua.

Mā te aro atu ki ēnei take matua, ka taea e koe te whakawhanake i tētahi whanaungatanga mārama ake, rangimarie ake hoki, ā, ka takahanga nui koe ki te ako me pēhea te whakahari i tāu wahine ina riri ia.

4. Whakatūria he rohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga

He maha ngā wā ka whakaaro koe, "I whara taku wahine i te ngākau, me pēhea taku whakatika?" I ngā wā e riri tonu ana taku wahine, e pouri ana hoki, ka tohe tonu ahau kia whakatakotohia he rohe mō māua tokorua. He mea nui te whakatakoto i ngā rohe mārama, whakaute hoki hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga hauora, taurite hoki. Ina tae ki te whakatau i te riri o te wahine, ko ēnei ngā rohe whakahirahira whakarato i tētahi anga hei ārai i ngā māramatanga kore mārama me ngā pakanga.

Ki te kore e taea e koe te ārai i te whakaaro, "He raruraru riri tō taku wahine," ngana ki ēnei tohutohu:

• Tīmatahia he kōrero mārie, tuwhera hoki mō ngā tumanakohanga me ngā herenga o te whanaungatanga a tetahi ki tetahi.
• Matapakihia te wāhi whaiaro, ngā manakohanga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me ngā whanonga e whakaaetia ana
• Kōrerotia mārama ō hiahia, whakarongo pai hoki ki āna, kia pai ai te noho tahi o ngā hoa tokorua ki te whakapuaki i ō rāua tumanakohanga.

He aratohu ngā rohe mō ngā whanonga, hei āwhina i te waihanga i te wairua haumaru me te māramatanga. Hei tauira, mēnā he mea nui te wā whaiaro mō tētahi o ngā hoa, mā te whakaae ki ngā wā kua tohua mō ngā mahi takitahi ka ārai i ngā kare ā-roto o te kore aro, o te takahi rānei.

He mea nui anō te whakaute i ngā rohe kua whakatūria. Mā te whakaute tonu i ngā rohe o tētahi ki tētahi ka whakatipu i te whakawhirinaki me te māramatanga. Mā te tirotiro anō me te whakarerekē i ēnei rohe i ia wā i te whanaketanga o te whanaungatanga ka noho tonu te whanaungatanga whai tikanga me te tautoko, ka whai wāhi atu ki tētahi hononga pumau me te rangimarie.

Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Rohe Whakawhanaungatanga Hauora Me Whai

5. Ako ki te kōrero whai hua

Kei te whakaaro tonu ahau, "Me pēhea te whakamarie i tētahi wahine e riri ana?" Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua te tūāpapa o tētahi whanaungatanga angitu, inā koa i te wā e whakahaere ana i te riri o te hoa. Ehara i te mea ko ngā kōrero anake e pā ana ki tēnei engari ko te āhua hoki o te whakapuakitanga. Ina kaha haere ngā kare ā-roto, ka nui ake te hiranga o te whakamahi i ngā tikanga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua ina tae mai ki te... te whakahaere riri i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.

• Kōwhiria ngā kupu me te whakaaro nui hei whakapuaki i ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto, me te kore e whakapae. Whakamahia ngā kōrero "ahau" hei whakapuaki i tō ake tirohanga, me te whakanui i ō kare ā-roto me ō wheako, kaua e kōrero whakapae. Hei tauira, me kī atu "Kei te mamae ahau ina..." kaua ko "Kei te..." tonu koe.
• Kia mau ki te reo marino, kia mārie hoki, me te karo i te reo nanakia, te reo ārai rānei, me te pakū o te riri.
• He mea nui anō hoki ngā tohu kore-waha, pērā i te reo tinana me ngā āhua kanohi, ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Me whakarite kia ōrite ō tohu kore-waha ki tō karere ā-waha kia kore ai e hē te whakamaoritanga.
• Ko te whakarongo kaha, e ai ki te kōrero i mua ake nei, he wāhanga nui o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua. Mā te waihanga i tētahi kōrerorero whakaute, mārama, tuwhera hoki, ka whakatakotohia e koe te tūāpapa mō te māramatanga me te mahi tahi.

Mā tēnei huarahi ka taea e ngā hoa e rua te whakapuaki i ō rāua whakaaro pono, me te whakaiti i te tūponotanga o te piki haere o ngā taupatupatu.

Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Whakaaro Koha Whakamutunga mō te Rā Whānau o tāu Wahine | Hakihea 2020

6. Rapua nga aratohu ngaio

Kei te pātai tonu koe ki a koe anō, "He aha i riri tonu ai taku wahine?" I ētahi wā, ko te rapu āwhina ngaio mā te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, mā te kaunihera rānei mō te marena, he taahiraa nui tēnei hei whakatau i te huarahi hei whakatau i te wahine riri. He tino āwhina tēnei mēnā he maha ngā wā ka amuamu koe, "I patua ahau e taku wahine." Ka whakaratohia e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro whakangungu he taiao kore whakaaro, he hanganga hoki e taea ai e ngā tāngata tokorua te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro me ō rātou kare ā-roto, e poipoi ana i te māramatanga me te whakahaere i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua.

Ki te kore koe e mōhio me aha koe ina riri tō wahine ki a koe, whakaarohia te whakaora i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Ehara i te mea ko ngā whanaungatanga e pāngia ana e te raruraru anake te whakaora i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. He mahi matatau anō hoki tēnei ki te whakapai ake i nga pukenga korero ā, ka whakatau i ngā take matua i mua i te horapa haere. Ka taea e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te tuku tohutohu pai, te āwhina i te tautuhi i ngā tauira whanonga, me te whakarato rautaki hei whakatika i ngā wero.

Mā te tirohanga motuhake a te tohunga ngaio ka taea te waihanga i tētahi wāhi haumaru mō ngā hoa e rua ki te whakapuaki i ō rāua āwangawanga me te kore e wehi ki te whakahē. Hei tāpiri, ka whakauruhia e ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro ngā taputapu me ngā mahi kua whakaritea hei whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, hei whakarei ake i te hononga kare ā-roto, me te ārahi i te tokorua ki tētahi whanaungatanga taurite ake. Mā te rapu tohutohu ngaio ka whakaatu i te whakapau kaha ki te oranga o te whanaungatanga, ā, ka taea te whakaputa i tētahi panonitanga pai mēnā ka mahi tahi kōrua. Mēnā kei te rapu koe i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro mō ngā tokorua, whakaarohia tētahi o ā mātou kaitohutohu i Bonobology.

7. Ako ki te manawanui

Kei te whakaaro koe me aha koe ina riri tō wahine ki a koe? Āe, ina riri tonu taku wahine, ā, e kore e harikoa, ka ngana ahau ki te manawanui ki a ia. Ina whakatau ana ahau i te riri o te hoa, he tikanga pai te manawanui, ā, ka taea te whai wāhi nui ki te whakatau i ngā pakanga me te oranga whānui o te whanaungatanga. Kia mōhio koe he roa te wā e hiahiatia ana hei whakatika i ngā take hohonu me te whakarerekē i ngā whanonga, ā, kāore pea e taea te whakarerekē tonu i ngā wā katoa. Anei ētahi tohutohu mō ngā mea hei mahi:

• Ko te manawanui ko te pupuri i te āhua marino me te karo i ngā tauhohenga ohorere, ahakoa i te aroaro o te hoa rangatira e riri ana
• Hoatu te wā ki a kōrua ko tō hoa ki te tukatuka i ngā kare ā-roto me te rapu huarahi hei whakaoti rapanga
• Mā te ngana tere ki te whakatau i ngā take ka arahi pea ki ngā māramatanga kore, ka whakanui ake hoki i ngā taupatupatu. Hei tāpiri, ko te maimoatanga puku ka taea hoki te whakakino ake i ngā āhuatanga
• Kōrerohia mahorahoratia te tukanga huringa, me te whakapuaki i tō whakapau kaha ki te tipu o te whanaungatanga.
• Whakatenatenahia tō hoa rangatira kia whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro me ōna kare ā-roto, kia aro mai hoki ki ngā urupare

Āe, koinei te huarahi hei whakahari i tō wahine ina riri ia. Mā te whakatipu i tētahi taiao manawanui, ka hangaia e koe he wāhi e tika ana mō te māramatanga, te aroha, me te whakarerekētanga pai haere i roto i te whanaungatanga. Koinei te huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi hoa rangatira e riri ana.

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 ngā huarahi hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki ki tō whanaungatanga me tō wahine i muri i tana moepuku

8. Whakatenatenahia tō wahine kia rapu huarahi hauora

Ki te mea he maha ngā wā kei te whakaaro koe, "He raruraru riri tō taku wahine," he huarahi whai hua te akiaki i a ia ki te whakamahi i ngā putanga hauora mō te ahotea me te pouri hei whakatika me te whakaiti i tōna riri. He huarahi kē atu ngā putanga hauora hei whakatau i ngā wero kare ā-roto, hei whakatairanga i te oranga whānui i roto i te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ki te mea ko koe tētahi o aua tāne pōuri e kī ana ki a koe anō, "I patua ahau e taku wahine, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me aha," ngana ki te rapu i ngā huarahi hauora hei whakamarie i a ia.

Kōrerohia, tūhuratia hoki ngā mahi maha hei āwhina i te tuku i ngā kare ā-roto me te whakangā, hei āwhina i te whakamarie i te wahine e riri ana. Tērā pea kei roto i tēnei ko te whakakori tinana auau, te whai wāhi ki ngā mahi whakangahau, te mahi i te aroātahi, te whakaaroaro rānei, te whai rānei i ngā putanga auaha. 

Ko te whai wāhi atu ki ēnei mahi ehara i te mea he tuku i ngā kare ā-roto pai anake, engari he āwhina anō hoki ki te oranga taurite me te oranga whai hua, me te hauora tinana pai ake. Ka taea e te tautoko me te whai wāhi tahi ki ēnei kaupapa te... whakapakari i te hononga kare ā-roto i waenganui i ngā hoa, e hanga ana i ngā wheako tahi hei whakataurite i ngā wā o te taumahatanga, hei āwhina hoki i te whanaungatanga pai ake.

9. Whakapāha, murua hoki

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi wahine riri," ko te whakaae ki ngā hapa, te tuku whakapāha pono, me te mahi muru hara he mea nui ki te whakatau i tētahi tangata riri. Kia mōhio koe ki te wā i whai wāhi ai ō mahi, ō kupu rānei ki te pakanga, ā, me whai kawenga mō aua mea.

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe, "I whara te ngākau o taku wahine, me pēhea taku whakatika?" Ko te whakapāha pono ko te whakaatu i te pouri, te mārama ki te pānga o āu mahi, me te whakapau kaha ki te huri i ngā mea pai. Whakamahia ngā kōrero pēnei i te "Aroha mai mō te pānga o aku mahi ki a koe" kaua ki te whakapāha noa. E whakaatu ana tēnei i te māramatanga hohonu ake ki ngā kare ā-roto motuhake e pā ana.

I taua wā anō, kia rite ki te muru hara. Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te rapu utu i muri i te pouri ki a koe anō, me te kī ki a koe anō, "I patua ahau e taku wahine," kati tonu. Mā te tāne riri e pupuri ana i ngā mamae o mua ka taea te whakaroa i te huringa o te riri me te te mauahara i roto i te marenaEhara i te mea ko te murunga hara te tikanga me whakaae tonu ki te whanonga.

Engari, he tohu tēnei i te whakapau kaha ki te anga whakamua me te whakawhanake i tētahi whanaungatanga pai ake. Mā te whai wāhi atu ki tēnei tukanga whakapāha me te muru hara ka poipoi i tētahi taiao whakaora kare ā-roto me te tipu. Koinei te kī ki te kimi me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa rangatira e riri ana.

10. Waihangahia ngā whāinga ngātahi

Ki te mea kei te pātai koe, "Me pēhea te whakahaere i tētahi wahine e riri ana," āe, ko te whakatū i ngā whāinga ōrite i roto i te whanaungatanga he rautaki kaha hei whakaiti i te riri tonu, hei poipoi hoki i te wairua kotahitanga. Mā te tautuhi tahi i ngā whāinga e hiahia ana ngā hoa tokorua ki te mahi tahi ka hangaia he kaupapa ōrite, ka whakaiti i ngā pūtake pea o te pakanga. Anei me pēhea te whakahari i tō wahine ina riri ia:

• Whakauru atu ki ngā kōrero tuwhera mō ō wawata takitahi, ā-tangata, ā-rōpū hoki
• Kimihia ngā huarahi e ōrite ai ō whāinga, me ngā wāhi e ōrite ai ō whakaaro
• Tērā pea kei roto i tēnei ko ngā wawata mahi, ngā whiringa momo noho, ngā mahere rānei mō te whanaketanga whaiaro.
• Mā te mahi ki ngā whāinga ngātahi ka whakaratohia he anga mō tautoko tahi me te mahi tahi
• He mea māmā noa iho pea pēnei i te mahi i ngā mahi o te whare, te tākaro tahi i ngā kēmu, te mirimiri rānei i ō rātou pakihiwi

Mā tēnei ka nekehia te arotahi mai i ngā āwangawanga takitahi ki tētahi tirohanga whānui, ka whakapakari ake i te hononga kare ā-roto i waenga i ngā hoa. Mā tēnei whakaaro whānui mō te kaupapa ka whai wāhi atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga pai ake, whai hua ake hoki.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te mauahara i roto i te marena? E kī ana te tohunga ki a koe

11. Kia maumahara ki te whakanui i ngā wā pai

Nā, kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa rangatira e riri ana? I roto i ngā wero o te mōhio me aha ina riri tō wahine ki a koe, he mea nui kia tino mihi me te whakanui i ngā wā pai i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā te arotahi ki ngā wā harikoa, ki ngā whakatutukitanga, me te harikoa tahi ka taea te whakataurite i te pānga o te riri tonu, kaua e noho tonu ki te whakaaro, "Kei te whakangaro te riri o taku wahine i tā māua marena."

Whakapuakihia te whakawhetai me te maioha tetahi ki tetahi i ia wā. Whakamihihia ngā mahi, ahakoa te iti, e whai wāhi ana ki te te oranga o te whanaungatangaWhakanuia ngā tohu nui, ngā whakatutukitanga, ngā wā harikoa rānei, hei whakaū i ngā āhuatanga pai o tō hononga.

Mā te aro nui ki ngā wheako pai, ka hangaia e koe he āhuarangi hihiri ake. Ehara i te mea ka poipoi noa i te wairua maioha tetahi ki tetahi, engari he whakamahara anō hoki mō ngā kaha me ngā harikoa kei roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā te whakanui i ngā wā pai ka whai wāhi ki te whakapakari i te turanga kare ā-roto, ka māmā ake te whakatere me te wikitoria i ngā wero, ā, ka harikoa hoki tō wahine e riri ana.

Ko te tumanako kāore koe e whakaaro ana me pēhea te whakatau i te hoa rangatira e riri ana. Ā, ko te tumanako kua whakatauhia e mātou ētahi take e pā ana ki ngā wāhine e riri ana mā roto i tēnei tuhinga. I roto i te marena hauora, me whai huarahi maha ngā huarahi hei mārama me te aro atu ki te riri tonu o te hoa rangatira. Mai i te whakarongo kaha me te aroha ki te whakatū rohe, te rapu arataki ngaio, me te whakatipu manawanui, ka whakamahia ēnei rautaki hei taputapu hei whakatere i ngā uauatanga o ngā kare ā-roto me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero.

Mā te whakatenatena i ngā putanga hauora, te whakapāha, me te muru hara ka whai wāhi ki te whakaora i ngā kare ā-roto, me te waihanga i ngā whāinga tahi me te whakanui i ngā wā pai ka whakapakari i te manawanui o te whanaungatanga. Mā te awhi i ēnei māramatanga me ngā tohutohu mahi mō te whakahaere i te wahine riri, ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te huri i ngā wā riri hei whai wāhitanga mō te tipu, te māramatanga, me te whakatipu i tētahi hononga taurite me te whai hua.

18 Ngā Tohu Kei te Tinihanga Tō Wahine Ki a Koe

E kino ana taku wahine ki ahau: 5 ngā tohu, 8 ngā take pea, me ngā tohutohu e 9 hei whakatau i te raruraru

Me pēhea te whakawhiti i tō riri me tō hae ki te hihiri

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.