He uaua te tangata. He uaua rawa atu ngā whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka aroha nui koe ki tētahi engari ka hē te hononga e tohaina ana e koe ki a ia. Kāore anō koe kia rite ki te tuku i a ia, engari he tino mamae te noho tahi. Ina noho pūmau koe i waenganui i te toka me te wāhi pakeke pēnei i tēnei, kotahi noa te pātai kei roto i tō hinengaro - me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe.
Ka nui haere te mamae o te ngaronga o tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, e tino arohaina ana hoki, ina mōhio koe nā āu mahi i wehe ai kōrua. Ka puta ngā hapa i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga mai i ngā taha e rua. Engari ki te mea kua whiti koe i tētahi rārangi me tō hoa, ka uaua ake te whakatika i taua kino. Hei tauira, ki te mea i tinihanga koe i tō hoa, ka taea e te hara te whakaoho i te whakaaro "I pakaru taku whanaungatanga", me te kare ā-roto e totohu ana, ahakoa i mua i te mōhio o tō hoa ki te hara.
He uaua te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe nā te tinihanga, nā te whara rānei i tō hoa. I aua rā tuatahi o te hinganga, ka rite pea ki te mea kāore he huarahi hei whakaora i tō hononga. Ehara tēnei i te kī kua ngaro katoa te tumanako. He tino taea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe. Mena kei te hiahia koe ki te mahi i te nuinga o te mahi e hiahiatia ana hei whakatika i tō hononga. Ka whakamārama atu mātou ki a koe me pēhea, mā te kōrero ki te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Jui Pimple, he Kaiwhakaora Whanoke Whakaaroaro kua whakangungua, he kaimahi rongoā Bach hoki e tohunga ana ki te tohutohu ipurangi.
21 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatika i tētahi Hononga Kua Pakaru i a Koe
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He uaua te pupuri me te pupuri i ngā whanaungatanga. Ina noho tahi kōrua mō te wā roa, ka taea e te aroha e here ana i a kōrua hei tokorua te waipuketia e ngā raruraru noa o te ao, ngā raruraru whanaungatanga, ngā rerekētanga, ngā hapa, ngā hē, me ngā pakanga e whai ake nei. Ko ētahi hapa, ko ētahi rerekētanga rānei he kino ake i ētahi atu, ā, ka tere te pā kino ki tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
Tērā pea kei te whakaaroaro koe, "Nāku i whakakino taku whanaungatanga, me pēhea taku whakatika?" Kaua e ngākau pouri mēnā koinei tō āhua. I ētahi wā, me tata te motu o tō hononga ka mōhio koe ki te nui o tō whakaaro nui ki tō hoa rangatira, me tō hiahia hoki ki a ia i roto i tō ao. Ko te kōrero mō Christy, he kaimahi peeke nō Chicago, he tohu mō tēnei. Neke atu i te whitu tau ia i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pumau, roa hoki ki a David.
I noho tahi rāua, ā, i tumanako puku a Christy ka pātai wawe mai a David. Nā te roa o te noho tahi, kua tau te whanaungatanga ki tētahi wā e mōhiotia whānuitia ana. Ahakoa i pai rāua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, i aroha nui hoki, kua mate te 'whakaaroaro'. Kātahi ka puta ngā pakanga me ngā tautohetohe o ia rā, o ia rā.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Ngaungau o te Hononga: Ngā Take, Ngā Tohu me Ngā Tohutohu Hei Whakakore
I waenganui i tēnei oranga pumau, ā, he mea e taea te matapae, i kitea e Christy tōna aroha tonu ki tētahi hoa mahi. Whai muri i te inu tahi me te tira o te tari i tētahi wā mutunga wiki, ka kitea ia e kōrerorero ana ki a Nolan i te ara o muri o te pā i noho tahi ai rāua. Nā tētahi wā whakaipoipo werawera, ā, i muri mai ka kōpikopiko ngā waewae i tōna kāinga, ka puta he hononga aroha nui i waenganui i a rāua.
Ae, i rongo a David i te hongi o taua mea. Nā te maha o ngā pō roa o Christy i te mahi me ngā haerenga mahi i te mutunga wiki, kāore i roa te wā e rapua ai te take. I te putanga mai o te moepuku, ka tere a David ki te wehe atu. Ehara i te mea ko Christy anake i tino uaua ki te wehe atu i tētahi i noho tahi rāua engari nā te hinganga anō hoki i kite ia i te nui o tōna whakaute ki a Rawiri me tā rāua whanaungatanga. "Nāku i whakakino taku whanaungatanga, ā, e hiahia ana ahau kia whakahokia mai" koinei anake tana i whakaaro ai.
I muri i ngā marama o te ngana, me ētahi tohutohu, ka taea e ia te whakahoki mai i a Rawiri. Kei a ia tonu te mahi nui ki te whakatika i te kino o te whanaungatanga hei whakatutuki. Mā te tautoko tika, ka taea e rāua te neke atu i tēnei raruraru. Ko tana haerenga he akoranga mō te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe:
1. Whakaaetia tō tūranga ki te whakakino i te whanaungatanga
Me aha koe mēnā i pakaru te whanaungatanga? Kia tino whai kawenga mō āu mahi, kia whakapono ai tō hoa e hiahia ana koe ki te whakatika i ngā mea. Ae, ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakatika i te whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe ko te whakaae nāu i pakaru ai. Ehara pea i te mea ngāwari engari he mea nui mēnā e hiahia ana koe ki te whakaora i te hononga.
E ai ki a Christy, koinei pea te wāhanga tino uaua o te haerenga. "I pakaru te whanaungatanga pai rawa atu i a au, engari i aro nui atu ahau ki te kimi hapa ki a David me tō māua whanaungatanga kia kore ai e tino pouri ki ngā mea i puta. Ki taku whakaaro he āhuatanga noa iho tēnei. Ka rapu tonu koe i ngā hapa o tō hoa hei whakamārama i ō mahi me ō hapa," tāna tāpiri.
Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakatika i tētahi hononga pakaru ki tō hoa tāne, he mea nui kia arotahi koe ki te "ahau" kaua ki a koe. Ahakoa he wāhi tō hoa i roto i ngā mea katoa i wehe ai kōrua, ehara i te wā tēnei hei kōrero anō mōna. Whakaaetia ō hapa, ā, ko reira anake ka taea e koe te tumanako ki te tīmata ki te whakatika i tō hononga pakaru.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te ora i te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga? 8 ngā huarahi hei whakatau i te raruraru!
2. Kia pono
jui e kī ana ko te pono te mea nui, inā koa mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga ina pakaru te whakawhirinaki. "Ko te pono, ko te pono tētahi o ngā pou nui o tētahi whanaungatanga. Hei whakatika i ngā hapa, tīmata mā te pono mō ō kare ā-roto, mō ō mahi rānei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Kia pono mō ō kare ā-roto ki tō hoa me tō whanaungatanga. Ka nui ake te whakaute i ngā kare ā-roto rūpahu o te aroha," tana kī.
Mō Christy, ko tōna tikanga he whakapuaki i te hoha o te whanaungatanga, ā, koinei te take i raru ai ia. whakaponokore"I pakaru taku whanaungatanga ki te aroha o tōku ao. Ināianei, hei whakatika i tēnei, me whakarite ahau mō te koretake o te tirotiro i tō māua whanaungatanga, me te rapu he aha te mea kāore i te pai, me te take hoki," tana kī.
Ko te kī atu i tētahi mea pēnei i te, "Kāore au e hiahia ki te pupuri i ngā mea ngaro mēnā kāore koe i whakapehapeha ki ngā mea iti katoa", ehara i te huarahi hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe nā te teka. E kī ana a Jui ahakoa he wāhanga nui tēnei o te tukanga whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe, me mahi tonu me te kore e whakapae i tō hoa, me te kore hoki e meinga kia whai kawenga rātou mō ō hapa.
3. Tīmatahia te kōrero kia tae atu ai te kōrero ki tō hoa
Hei whakatika i te pakaru o te whanaungatanga me tō hoa wahine, me kōrero koe ki a rātou. Ko te tikanga o tēnā ko te waiho i tō whakapehapeha ki te taha, me te toro atu ki a rātou. Ahakoa kāore anō koe kia rite ki te kōrero mō ō kare ā-roto tae noa ki te wā e tūtaki kanohi ki te kanohi ai kōrua, he pai tonu te toro atu mā te karere kuputuhi hei tīmatanga pai hei wawahi i te hukapapa.
Ae, kāore e taea te tumanako ki tētahi karere hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga pakaru, engari ka hoatu he mea hei whakamahi māu. He pai ake te whakapau kaha ki te whakapā atu ki a koe i te noho noa me te amuamu, "I hē ahau i pakaru ai taku whanaungatanga." E kore pea koe e anga whakamua tonu, engari mā te tohe tonu, ka rongo pea tō hoa i a koe.
E mea ana a Christy, "I muri tata mai i taku ngangau ki a David, ka whakatau ahau ki te whakamutua te mahi ā, ka mutu te whanaungatanga ki a Nolan. I whakamātau ahau ki te whakapā atu ki taku hoa tāne i ētahi wā engari i aukatia taku nama waea. Kātahi, i tētahi rā, ka tukuna atu e au he 'kia ora' noa iho, me te iti o te tumanako ka tukuna mai. Ehara i te mea ko te karere anake i tukuna mai, engari i whakautu mai anō a David. Nā tēnā i huaki anō ngā tatau mō tētahi kōrero i waenganui i a māua.”
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4. Whakawhitiwhiti whakaaro mō te whakatika i tētahi hononga i pakaru i a koe
"E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i ahau, engari kāore au i te mōhio me tīmata ki hea, me pēhea rānei te wawahi i te hukapapa." He āhuatanga noa tēnei ina kua tata te mutunga o tō whanaungatanga, nā te mea kotahi te nekehanga hē ka pā he whiu whakamutunga ki a ia. Tērā pea ka mataku koe kei mutu tō hoa. te kōrero i ngā mea mamae kāore rānei, ka kōrero pea koe i tētahi mea e whakanui rawa atu ai te mamae i pā ki a rātou i a koe, e kino rawa atu ai te āhuatanga kino.
Ina pāngia koe e aua mataku me ngā āwangawanga, he mea pai kia maumahara koe kāore te kore mahi i tetahi mea e āwhina. Mēnā he aha, mā te kore o tō kaha e tuku karere ki tō hoa kāore koe e aro. Ka uaua ake pea māu te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe nā te teka, nā te whara rānei i tō hoa aroha.
E kī ana a Jui, "Ina pakaru te whanaungatanga, ina tata pakaru rānei, he mea nui kia whakaaroarohia he aha te mea ka taea te mahi hei whakatika. Ahakoa i hē koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i tata mate ai, ngana ki te whakauru i tō hoa ki tēnei tukanga. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te tiki whakaaro hou ake, ā, ka mōhio anō hoki te hoa ki te hiranga o te whanaungatanga ki a koe. Mā te mahi tahi hei rōpū ka hua ake he hua pai ake."
5. Whakamāramahia ōu whakaaro kia mārama
"I te wā i kōrero anō ai māua ko David, ka whakamahia e au te whai wāhi ki te whakapuaki i ōku ngākau ki a ia. I te mahi pera, he pono katoa, he tuwhera hoki taku kōrero mō aku whāinga me taku i tumanako ai kia tutuki mā te whakapā atu. Kāore he ruarua i roto i tōku hinengaro e hiahia ana ahau kia noho tahi māna. I mōhio ahau kua pakaru taku whanaungatanga ki te aroha o tōku ao, ā, kua rite ahau ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa hei whakatika. Ā, kāore au i mangere ki te whakamōhio atu ki a ia," te kī a Christy.
He wāhanga nui tēnei o te tukanga hei whakakore i ngā kino o tētahi whanaungatanga, hei tīmata hoki i te tukanga o te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te teka te tinihanga, te whara rānei i tō hoa rangatira i tētahi atu huarahi. Mā te mārama me te kore whakamā, kei te whakaatu koe i te whakaute e tika ana mā tō hoa rangatira, me te whakaatu anō hoki kei te whakapau kaha koe ki te mārama ki a rātou mēnā ka whakatau rātou ki te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a koe.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Tohutohu Whakawhanaungatanga – Ngā Mea Katoa e Hiahia Ana Koe kia Mōhio
6. Kia kaha te whakarongo
Ki te mea kei te mahi koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe, me rite koe ki te whakarongo ki ētahi pono kino me ngā whakapuakitanga kawa, tae atu rānei ki te tukunga kare ā-roto mai i tō hoa. Ae, tera pea ētahi o aua kōrero he pono, ko ētahi he whakaaturanga noa iho o te mamae e pā ana ki a rātou. Engari kāore tetahi o aua kōrero e ngāwari ki te whakarongo.
E maumahara ana a Christy ki ngā kōrero mamae a David i pakaru ai tōna ngākau. "Ki taku whakaaro, nui atu i tāna i kōrero ai, ko te mea nui ko te whakaaro o tētahi e aroha nui ana ki ahau he tino uaua ki te whakaae. I ētahi wā ka hiahia noa ahau ki te whakatika me te haere. Engari i maumahara tonu ahau ki ahau anō he aha ahau i reira ai, me te ngana ki te whakatika i taku whanaungatanga me te tuku i a ia ki te whakaputa i ana pouri i ngā wā katoa e hiahiatia ana e ia me te kore e whakautu, e whiu rānei."
"Ki taku whakaaro, he mea nui kia tangohia e ia taua taumaha i tōna uma i mua i te tumanako ka taea te whakatika i te kino o te whanaungatanga. I muri mai, ka kite ia kāore i tika ētahi o ana kōrero, ā, ka whakapāha ia," tana kī.
7. Whakaarohia ngā mea i hē
Me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe? Ko tā Jui tohutohu, "Whakaarohia te mea i hē, me pēhea koe i whakaora ai. Whakaarohia anō te mea i tupu, ka ngana ki te kite mēnā he tino kino pērā i tō whakaaro." Mā te whakaaroaro hohonu ka taea e koe te tirotiro i te mea i hē i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ka akiaki i a koe ki te mahi i roto i te āhua e whakaaro ana koe me aha mēnā ka pakaru te whanaungatanga i a koe.
Mō Christy, ko te tikanga o tēnei he whakahoki anō i ngā kōrero mō tana moepuku ki a Nolan ki a David. I a David e pātai ana ki a ia mō te moepuku, i rite a Christy me te mea kei te hoki anō ia ki ngā mea rerekē. ngā wāhanga o te hara i muri i te tinihanga anō. Ahakoa ehara i te mea ngāwari ki a ia te whakamārama i ngā taipitopito, me te whakarongo hoki ki a ia, i whakaaro rāua he mea tika kia waiho tēnei kaupapa i mua, kia tīmata hou ai.
"I taua wā anō, whakaarohia ngā maharatanga pai me te āhua o te hanganga o te whanaungatanga. Mā te hoki anō ki ngā wā aroha ka pai ake tō wairua, ka whakaaro hoki koe ki ngā huarahi hei whakatika i te whanaungatanga kua pakaru," te tāpiri a Jui.
8. Hangaia he piriti
Hei whakakore i ngā kino o te whanaungatanga, hei neke whakamua hoki, me hanga piriti koe, kaua e tahuna. Ko te tikanga o tēnei, me toro atu he manga oriwa, me te whakamōhio atu ki tō hoa kua rite koe ki te whakarērea ngā raruraru o mua, ka huri i tētahi rau hou. Me kī atu hoki ki a rātou kei te tumanako koe, kei te tumanako hoki, ka taea e rātou te mahi i taua mea anō.
Hei tauira, ki te mea i pakaru i a koe tētahi whanaungatanga pai nā te mea take whakawhirinaki, whakamanawa atu ki tō hoa e pai ana koe ki te whakapau kaha kia nui ake ai tō whakawhirinaki ki roto i te whanaungatanga. I taua wā anō, tonoa atu kia nui ake te māramatanga me te pono mēnā koinei te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe kia taea ai e koe te whakawhirinaki anō ki a rātou.
"Āe, i tino pāngia tō māua whanaungatanga e te tinihanga i a David. Heoi, i mau tonu te ngākau pouri i roto i ahau, ā, i whiti atu ahau i te rohe. Nā te āwhina a taku kaiwhakaora hinengaro, i taea e au te ako me pēhea te whakapuaki i tēnei ki a David me te kore e meinga ia kia whai kawenga mō te tinihanga. I taua wā anō, i kī atu ahau ki a ia kua rite ahau ki te waiho i ngā take o mua ki muri mēnā ka kitea e ia he huarahi hei whakakore i te tinihanga me te mamae. Kāore i pai ki a ia aku kupu, engari i te mutunga ka hoki mai ia," te kī a Christy.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakatika i tētahi Hononga Paitini – 21 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaora Ngātahi
9. Arotahi ki te aroha i tohaina e kōrua
Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakatika i tētahi hononga i pakaruhia e kōrua, me te whakaora tahi hei tokorua, he mea nui kia tautuhi anō i te wā i roto i tō kōrua hononga ki tētahi wā i mua i te tīmatanga o te puta ake o ngā raruraru me ngā take katoa. I tutuki i a Christy rāua ko David tēnei mā te whakaaro ki tā rāua hononga he hononga 2.0. I te mutunga o te whakaputanga me te whakatau i ngā riri, ngā mamae me ngā kare ā-roto kino katoa, ka tono a Christy ki a ia kia haere tahi rāua ki te whakatau i tētahi wā.
"Kotahi te mea i tonoa e au ki a ia – kia kaua māua e kōrero anō mō ngā mea o mua, ahakoa pēhea. Ae, i pakaru taku whanaungatanga i ahau, engari mēnā ka aro tonu māua ki taua āhuatanga anake, kāore rawa he huarahi e taea ai e māua te whakatika i tō māua hononga. He nui taku whakaute ki a Rawiri mō tana pupuri i tana kupu, ahakoa he uaua ki a ia," tana kī.
Me mārama koe, "Nāku i pakaru taku whanaungatanga, ā, e hiahia ana ahau kia hoki mai anō" he wawata noa iho pea mēnā he nui te kino o tō whanaungatanga. He nui te tūponotanga kāore pea ngā mea e hoki ki tōna āhua o mua, engari mā te whakapau kaha tonu, ka taea e koe te ako me pēhea te ora i te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga ā, ka hanga anō mai i te tīmatanga.
10. Whakapāha hei whakatika i te kino o tētahi whanaungatanga
Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe nā te tinihanga, kia mōhio koe ehara te ara ki te ora i te mea ngāwari, i te mea māmā rānei. Ko te huarahi anake hei ahu whakamua ko te whakaae mārama ki tō hapa. E whakanui ana a Jui, "Kāore he he o te whakaae ki tō hapa me te pouri mōna." He tino whakapāha "E murua tonutia ana te he, nō reira, ki te mea he mea nui te whanaungatanga, me waiho te whakapehapeha ki te taha, ā, me whakaae ki tāu hapa."
Ae, kua whakapāha pea koe, kua whakapāha rānei mō tō hē i mua. Ina koa i ngā rā tuatahi o te ngana ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe. Kia marino te riri, kia tau te rangimārie, kia marino hoki kōrua, me mahi anō. Me kī atu ki tō hoa te nui o tō pouri mō te whara i a rātou, me te whakamana anō kei te pai koe ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa e tika ana hei whakatika i te hē.
11. Waiho nga tumanako
Me aha koe mēnā kua pakaru te whanaungatanga? Me mahi tonu te whakatakoto i nga tumanako pono mō te whakakore i ngā kino, ā, ko te mea nui ake, kaua e whakatakoto i te taumahatanga ki runga i ō tumanakohanga ki tō hoa. Kaua e whakapā atu ki tō hoa i muri i te hinganga o tō whanaungatanga me te tumanako ka puta he hua.
Kia maumahara ko tāu noa iho he whakapau kaha ki te whakatika i tētahi hononga i pakaru i a koe. Kei a ia te whakatau mēnā ka whakahoki mai tō hoa i a koe anō. Mā te tuku i a koe anō i ngā tumanakohanga o tētahi hua kua whakaritea i mua, ka nui ake tō whakaae ki te āhua o ngā mea katoa. I taua āhuatanga, ki te taea e koe te whakatika i tō hononga, ka nui ake tō uara ki a ia.
E mea ana a Christy, "I muri i te wehenga atu o David i tō mātou kāinga, tata kore rawa aku tumanako ki te whakaora i taku whanaungatanga. Kātahi, i tana aukati i ahau, ka mate te tumanako whakamutunga. Engari i ngana tonu ahau. Tērā pea kāore ia i whakautu mai. Engari kāore au i pai ki te noho me te pouri mō te kore e ngana nui."
12. Kaua e pēhi i ā rātou pātene
Ki te mea kua mahia e koe tētahi mea kua pā kino ki tō kōrua whanaungatanga, kua tino pā kino ki a kōrua, he mea noa iho kei roto tō hoa i te āhua ngoikore. Ina ngana koe ki te mārama me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe, kia tūpato kei pēhi i ā rātou pātene, kei whakaoho rānei i a rātou i tētahi ara.
Me hoatu he wāhi ki tō hoa kia whakatau i ōna kare ā-roto, kia tere ai te haere i ngā mea i te tere e pai ana ki a ia. Kia maumahara, te wāhi whaiaro i roto i te whanaungatanga ka taea te noho hei piripiri e piri ai. Heoi anō, ina kitea koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga uaua kua pakaru te whanaungatanga i ō mahi, ā, kua panaia atu tō hoa.
"Nā taku kaiwhakaora hinengaro ahau i āwhina kia mārama ko te whakahua i a Nolan i tīmatahia e au ka taea te whakakore i ngā ahunga whakamua katoa i mahia e au i roto i taku ngana ki te whakahoki mai i te aroha me te ngākau aroha o David. Nō reira, i whakapau kaha ahau kia kaua e kōrero ki te tangata tino uaua kia oti rā anō i a ia. Ahakoa i taua wā, i kite ahau kāore a David i kaha ki te kī i tōna ingoa. I whakamahi tonu ia i ngā kupu pēnei i a 'ia', 'tēnā tangata', 'fella' hei tohu mōna. I whai ahau i tana ara, me te āta karo i te whakahua i tōna ingoa."
Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Rautaki Whakatau Taupatupatu i roto i ngā Hononga e Tata Ana te Whai Hua
13. Kia mau tonu te mana whakahaere o te kōrero
Me aha koe mēnā kua pakaru te whanaungatanga? Āe, ina tae ki te whakaora i tō kōrua whanaungatanga me te whakaora i a kōrua hei tokorua, kaua e ngana ki te waiho noa iho. Ina ngana ana koe ki te whakatikahia te whanaungatanga pakaru me tō hoa rangatira he hoa wahine rānei, tera pea ka rite koe ki te porowhita haere, kāore hoki he ahunga whakamua. Koia te take me whai mahere mahi koe, me pupuri tonu te mana whakahaere o te kōrero, me te whakahoki tonu i ngā kōrero ki te huarahi tika.
"I a māua e whakatikatika ana i ō māua hononga, he maha ngā kōrero a David mō ngā mea rerekē. I ētahi wā, i hiahia ia kia kōrerotia e au ngā āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a māua ko Nolan. I ētahi wā, ka puta mai ana kupu riri, e aro ana ki ahau, ki ngā whanaungatanga whānui rānei. Ka tukua e au kia puta te riri mō tētahi wā, kātahi ka akiaki mārire i a ia kia kōrero anō mō te heke mai o tō māua whanaungatanga me pēhea e taea ai e māua te whakahaere i ngā mea i tēnei wā," te kī a Christy.
14. Āta karohia te kēmu whakapae
E kī ana a Jui, "Ko te tākaro whakapae he mea e whakangaro ana i ngā whanaungatanga pai. Nō reira, ko te karo i tēnā ka nui ake te hiranga ina ngana ana koe ki te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga e tū tata ana ki te mutunga. Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakatika me te whakaora i tō whanaungatanga, me tuku pea e koe ētahi mea. Te whakapae i tētahi atu tangata mō ōu raruraru hononga ka nui ake ngā pakaru i roto i tō kōrua hononga.”
Hei tauira, ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe nā te teka, kaua e tukua te whakapae mō āu mahi ki tō hoa mā te kī atu "Kāore au e teka ki a koe mēnā kāore koe i te tino whakahaere me te whakapae i ngā wā katoa. I hē ahau engari ehara koe i te mea harakore i konei, nō reira kāore au e kite he aha e kore ai e taea e koe te tuku mai i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki ahau." Engari, whakaae ki tāu wāhanga, waiho te kōwhiringa ki tā rātou ki tō hoa. Ahakoa ka mahi rātou, ka kore rānei, kei a rātou anake te tikanga.
15. Kia manawanui
Ki te mea kua hē koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i tata pā ki te mate, me whakarite koe mō tētahi ara roa ki te ora. He roa te wā e ora ai ngā patunga, ā, i ētahi wā, ahakoa i taua wā, kei te toe tonu ngā tohu – he whakamahara tonu ki a koe mō taua mahi kino i tata motu ai tō hononga. I a koe e whai ana ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe, ko te manawanui tō hoa pai.
Hei tauira, i tatari a Christy mō ngā marama kia tae atu ai ki a David. Ahakoa i muri i tā rāua kōrero kanohi ki te kanohi tuatahi, he torutoru marama anō i mua i tana kaha ki te whakaemi i te maia ki te tono i a ia kia haere tahi, ki te mahi rānei i tētahi mea pērā i te takirua. I mua i tō whakapā atu ki tō hoa ki te ngana ki te whakatika i ō hapa, noho tahi me te hinengaro mārama, ka arotake mēnā kei te whakaaro koe kei te pai koe. he pai te whakaora i te whanaungatangaMena he āe tino kaha te whakautu, ko reira koe ka ngana ai ki te whakatika i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Huarahi hei Manawanui i roto i te Hononga
16. Whiwhihia te whakawhirinakitanga
"Nāku i whakakino taku whanaungatanga, me pēhea taku whakatika?" Mena kei te raru koe i tēnei pātai, kia mōhio koe he uaua ake te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te pakaru i te tuatahi. Me mahi koe i ngā mahi iti ki te whakatū anō i te whakawhirinaki ki tō whanaungatanga, kaua hoki e amuamu ki tō hoa mēnā he uaua ki a ia te whakaae ki ō kupu me ō kupu whakaari i runga i te āhua noa.
E mea ana a Jui, "Mēnā he mahi āu i pakaru ai te whakawhirinaki o tō hoa, me tino kaha koe ki te whakahoki mai i taua mea. Kaua e tumanako ka wareware wawetia e tō hoa, hoatu he wā ki a ia kia whakaaroaro. I taua wā tonu, me mahi i ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia whiwhi anō i te whakawhirinaki. Kaua hoki e mahi anō i taua mea."
17. Mahi tahi hei kapa
Ki te mea kei te mahi koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga ina pakaru te whakawhirinaki, mā te whakahoki mai i te wairua mahi tahi ka āwhina nui i a kōrua kia ora ai hei tokorua. Hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a kōrua nā te teka, nā te whara rānei i tō hoa, me whakamahara koe ki a rātou he aha kōrua i pai ai te mahi tahi. Kāore he mea hei whakamārama i taua karere i te whakamātau i ngā mahi hanga rōpū e hiahia ana kia mahi tahi kōrua.
E ai ki a Christy, i tūtohutia e tana kaiwhakaora hinengaro tētahi mahi whakakori tinana i te tīmatanga he mea kuware, engari nā ngā hua i kitea i huri tōna tirohanga. "I tono mai taku kaiwhakaora hinengaro kia tākaro ahau i ngā kēmu papa, kia whai wāhi atu rānei ki ngā mahi me David e hiahia ana kia mahi tahi māua hei rōpū. Nō reira, i tētahi rā i haria e au ia ki te piki toka i roto i te whare, ā, i a māua e āwhina ana tetahi ki tetahi ki te whakatere i tō māua ara ki te tihi, i tino ōrite ake māua."
"Waihoki, ka takaro mātou i te kēmu hinga kore utu tetahi ki tetahi, ka hipokina ngā kanohi o tetahi hoa, ka hinga ki tōna taha, ā, me hopu e tetahi atu i mua i te hinganga ki te whenua. He mea whakamiharo, nā ēnei mahi i āwhina te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki me te whakahoki mai i te wairua o te mahi tahi, nui atu i ngā kupu, i ngā whakamana rānei," te kī a Christy.
18. Kaua e whakapau kaha ki te mea kāore e taea e koe te whakatutuki
I te nuinga o te wā, i roto i te hiahia nui ki te whakatika i tētahi hononga pakaru ki tō hoa wahine, ki tō hoa tāne rānei, ka mutu pea koe ki te whakaputa kupu whakaari kāore e taea e koe te pupuri. Heoi, ka waiho koe hei tangata e hinga ana, ā, ka uaua ake te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga. Hei tauira, i pātai a David ki a Christy mēnā e pai ana ia ki te wehe atu i tana tari o nāianei, ki te tono rānei kia nekehia ia kia kore rawa a Nolan e uru atu.
"Ko tōku whakaaro tuatahi ko te whakaae, engari i roto rawa i ahau i mōhio ahau ehara tēnā i te mea i hiahia ahau, i hiahia rānei ahau ki te mahi, ā, kāore hoki i hiahia kia mahia." ngā whakataunga kino i roto i te whanaungatangaI aroha ahau ki taku mahi me ngā tāngata i mahi tahi māua. Nō reira, i whakamārama atu ahau ki a ia ehara te wehenga atu, te neke atu rānei i te otinga mō ō māua raruraru. E ai ki te kōrero, ka kitea tonutia e te tangata tinihanga ngā huarahi me ngā huarahi hei whakatutuki i āna mahi hē.
"Ko tā mātou i hiahia ai, kia whakapono a Rawiri i roto i taku kōrero, kāore he mea pēnei e tupu anō. I te tīmatanga i pouri ia ki tēnei, ā, i kite ia he kore hiahia nōku ki te tuku patunga tapu mō te whanaungatanga. Engari i tukua e au kia whakaaroaro ia ki taku whakaaro mō ētahi rā, ā, i te mutunga, i kite ia he whai mana taku kōrero," tana kī.
19. Kia mau ki o kupu whakaari
Pērā i te hiranga o te kore oati ki ngā mea kāore e taea te whakatutuki, he mea nui ake te pupuri i ngā oati i oatitia e koe. Kāore e taea te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga kua pakaru ki te kore te hoa i hē e rite ki te mahi i ngā mahi pono hei whakaatu kei te hiahia rātou ki te mahi i tētahi atu huarahi hei whakaora anō i te hononga.
He mea nui kia kite tō hoa rangatira e taea ana e ia te whakawhirinaki ki a koe, ā, kāore he huarahi pai ake mā te tuku i ō mahi kia kōrero mō rātou anō. Mā te pupuri i ngā kupu whakaari i oatitia e koe ki tō hoa rangatira, kei te whakaatu koe e whakanui ana koe i a rātou. Ina kite koe i a koe e whakapau kaha ana ki te whakatika i ngā take i wehe ai kōrua, tera pea tō hoa rangatira e... pouri mō te wehenga ā, hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki te whanaungatanga.
I te tono a David ki a Christy kia mutu tana mahi, kia rapu rānei i tētahi whakawhiti mahi, ka oati ia ki a ia ka karohia e ia ngā āhuatanga katoa e noho tahi ai rāua ko Nolan i waho o te mahi. "Ko te tikanga o tēnā ko te whakarērea o ā māua haerenga tari ia wiki, me te tono ki taku rangatira kia whakarite mēnā me haere māua ki te mahi, kāore māua ko Nolan e tukuna tahitia. Ahakoa kei te haere atu ētahi atu o te tari. He utu iti tēnei hei utu mō te whakatika i taku whanaungatanga ki a David, ā, kua pupuri tonu ahau i taku taha o te whakaaetanga," tana kī.
20. Whakahokia mai te aroha i roto i tō whanaungatanga
Ko te wāhanga tino uaua o te ngana ki te whakatika i te kino o tētahi whanaungatanga ko te whakatū anō i ngā whanaungatanga rerekē ngā momo whanaungatangaKa taea e tō kihi tuatahi, te wā tuatahi rānei i runga i te moenga i muri i tētahi raruraru nui, te whakamā, me te kī tonu i te āwangawanga. I wikitoria a Christy rāua ko David i tēnei arai mā te whakatairanga i te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro me te ā-tinana i runga ake i te moe tāne.
"Engari i te noho tahi ki te moenga me te akiaki i ō māua kare ā-roto, i whakatau māua kia manawanui. He uaua tēnā nā te mea i ētahi wā i hiahia māua ki te mahi pera. Tuatahi, i kōrero māua, i kōrero, i kōrero tae noa ki te whakatau i ō māua raruraru katoa, ā, ka tīmata anō māua te hono atu ki ngā kare ā-roto."
"Ko te mahi i muri mai ko te whakahoki mai i ngā whakaaturanga aroha ki roto i te whanaungatanga. Te pupuri ringa i a mātakitaki pouaka whakaata, te kihi pinepine, te awhi i a māua e moe ana, me ērā atu mea. I te wā i tino mōhio ai māua kua rite māua ki te neke atu i tēnei raruraru, ka moe tahi māua mō te wā tuatahi i roto i te tau neke atu," te kī a Christy.
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21. Whakaritea te wā tahi hei kaupapa matua
He rerekē te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i pakaru i a koe, he rerekē te pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia mau tonu. Ka memeha haere te kupu "Ka mahia e au ngā mea katoa hei whakaora i tēnei whanaungatanga", ā, ka tau anō koe ki tētahi āhua hou. Ina tupu tēnā, he nui te tūponotanga ka taka koe ki ngā āhua tawhito. Me mahi koe i ngā mahi kia mau tonu te kaha o te whanaungatanga i ēnei wā.
I taua wā, ka noho hei mea nui kia karohia ngā hapa o mua, kia kaua hoki e whakahawea tetahi ki tetahi. Hei tauira, kua waiho e Christy rāua ko David hei ture kia kai tahi i te tina i ia pō, kātahi ka noho hei wā mō tāua, hei kōrero tahi, hei whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mō ō rāua rā, hei pātai, hei kata, hei mātaki kiriata, i mua i te wehe atu. Nā tēnei i āwhina i a rāua kia mau tonu te hihiri i roto i tō rāua whanaungatanga 2.0.
E taea ana te whakatika i tētahi hononga pakaru i pakaru i a kōrua, ā, ka ora tahi hei tokorua, engari he nui te kaha me te mahi uaua e hiahiatia ana. Ehara i te mea ko tō taha anake, engari ko tō hoa hoki. I mua i tō ngana ki te whakaora i tō kōrua hononga, kia tino mohio kei te whakapau kaha tō hoa ki te whakatutuki i te hononga, pērā i a kōrua. Ki te kore, ka maumauria ō mahi katoa.
FAQs
Ae, ka taea te hanga anō i tētahi hononga kua pakaru mēnā ka hiahia ngā hoa e rua ki te whakapau kaha me te mahi e tika ana hei whakatau i ō rāua raruraru me te tīmata hou. Heoi, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te kawenga mō te whakatika i ngā mea kei te hoa nāna nei ngā mahi i pakaru ai te hononga.
I te wā e hanga hou ana i tētahi whanaungatanga kua pakaru, me nui te manawanui me te hiahia kia ea ngā mea ahakoa te uaua o te āhua. Nō reira, ki te mea kua pāngia tō whanaungatanga e te raruraru nui, ā, kua tata mutu, he mea nui kia arotakehia mēnā he pai ki te whakaora.
He whanaungatanga uaua: Kei te aroha ahau engari kei te kukume ahau ki tētahi atu?
9 Ngā Huarahi Pono ki te Whakapāha ki te Tangata i Wharahia e Koe
8 Ngā Mea e Whakangaro ai i ngā Hononga, ā, Kāore Koe e Mōhio Ana
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
