Ka taea e ngā whanaungatanga kino te whakararu nui i te tangata, i ngā hononga tangata me ngā whānau. Koia te mea nui kia mōhio me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino. Heoi, ka kitea pea he uaua nā te mea kāore i te tino kitea ngā āhuatanga kino o aua whanaungatanga mai anō i te tīmatanga.
I te nuinga o te wā, ka tīmata ēnei whanaungatanga he mea ngahau, he mea whakahihiri hoki, he rite ki ngā wāhanga o te whanaungatanga noa. I tēnei wā o te marena, ka nui ngā maharatanga harikoa e whakawhanakehia ana e te tokorua, ā, ka mau tonu ki ēnei maharatanga ina tīmata te puta ake o te paitini kino.
Nā tēnei, ka whakaitihia te whānuitanga o te ngana ki te whakaiti i te kino o tētahi whanaungatanga nā te mea, kaua e aro atu ki te mooni pōuri e tū mai ana ki mua i a rātou, engari ka mau tonu te hunga kua mauheretia i roto i aua whanaungatanga ki te hītori 'harikoa' hei tikanga whakakorekore.
Hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ka huri te tangata. Mā tēnei huringa ka whanake hoki ō rātou whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā ka pai ake, i ētahi wā ka kino ake. Ko te huarahi anake hei whakakore i ngā whanonga kino ko te whakaae ki ngā tauira raruraru e puta ake ana, me te rapu huarahi mō ngā otinga.
He aha ētahi o ngā take me ngā tohu noa o tētahi whanaungatanga kino?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino , hei whakaiti rānei i te kino o tētahi whanaungatanga, me mārama koe ki te tikanga o te noho i roto i tētahi. Ko te whanaungatanga kino he whanaungatanga e pakaru ana i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, e kai ana i tō harikoa, e whakapoke ana hoki i te huarahi e titiro ai koe ki a koe anō me te ao.
He maha ngā take e huri ai te whanaungatanga hei mea kino. Ko tētahi o ngā mea e tino pāngia ai te whanaungatanga ko te mauheretia i roto i te whanaungatanga me te hoa kino. He tangata e haere ana i roto i te ao, e waiho ana i te ara o ngā whanaungatanga pakaru, ngā ngākau me ngā tāngata. Engari ehara i te mea koinei anake te take o te paitini.
He rite tonu te āhua o te hurihanga o te tokorua ki te kino, nā te roanga o ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, ngā hītori kino, ngā kare ā-roto kino, ngā mauahara me te mauahara tetahi ki tetahi. I ēnei wā, ka tīmata te whanaungatanga kia ora. Engari i roto i te wā, ka nui rawa te taumaha o te pouri me te kore whakaae, ā, ka tīmata te whakapoke i te whanaungatanga, ka pā kino ki te hunga kei roto.
Ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, ki te whakatika rānei i a koe anō i muri i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ki ngā tohu ārai. Ko te mea nui, kāore ngā whanonga paitini e horapa noa iho. He take tonu kei raro e whakaoho ana i ētahi āhua me ngā tohu paitini. Ā, ka taea ēnei te noho i runga i te whānuitanga.
Hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakakore i ngā whanonga paitini, me titiro tuatahi tātou ki ētahi o ngā take o ngā whanonga paitini me ngā tohu, ngā tauira rānei e puta mai ana i aua whanonga:
| Ngā Take o te Hononga Paitini | Ngā Tohu o te Hononga Paitini |
Te kore hototahi hei hoa aroha | Ki te kore kōrua e pai tetahi ki tetahi, ka tere te koretake o te whanaungatanga. Ka waiho pea koe kia mokemoke, kia kore e kitea. He maha ngā wā, ka pāngia te oranga hinengaro o tētahi, o ngā hoa tokorua rānei e ēnei kare ā-roto. |
| Te koretake me te hae | Ko te hoa hae, ā, e hiahia ana kia noho ko ia anake, ā, ka wehea pea ia i ōna hoa, i tōna whānau, me te hunga e tata ana ki tōna hoa aroha. Ko te noho motuhake he tohu kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga kino ki tētahi tangata. |
| Ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia mai i te tamarikitanga, i ngā whanaungatanga o mua rānei | Ka taea e ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia te arahi ki ngā tohu kino pērā i te whanonga whakahaere, te tinihanga, te teka |
| Te mana whakahaere me te whakahaere a tetahi hoa | Ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga paitini, ka ngana tonu rātou ki te whakahaere i tō oranga me tō whanonga mā roto i ngā tikanga raweke pēnei i te gaslighting, te struggle, te aritarita, te one-upmanship, te whakahē. |
| Ngā raruraru riri, āhua pukuriri rānei | Ina riro te riri, te āhua kino rānei o tētahi hoa hei take o te paitini i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka kitea e tētahi atu kei te takahi i runga i ngā anga hua manu. Ka puta tēnei hei wehi kei kōrerohia ō whakaaro, kei whai rānei i te ngākau o te tangata. He maha ngā wā, ka tīmata te hoa e pāngia ana ki te teka me te tinihanga hei ārai i ngā pahūtanga riri me ngā tautohetohe pōrearea. |
| Te mataku ki te whakapau kaha | Te mataku ki te whakapau kaha ka arahi pea ki ngā tohu paitini o te whanaungatanga pēnei i te kore e tino mōhio ki te tūnga o te whanaungatanga, te kaha pana-tō, me te noho pūmau i te wāhi kāore koe e tino uru ana, e tino puta ana rānei |
Me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, me te whakaora ngātahi?
Ki te kite koe i tētahi o ēnei tohu me ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe, he mea noa kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino? Ko te mea nui ake, ka taea rānei te tango i te paitini mai i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ka ora tahi?
I kōrero mātou ki te kaiwhakaako ora me te kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro a Joie Bose mō ngā tohutohu hei āwhina i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei e kino ana.
"Āhea te wā ka kino ai te whanaungatanga? Ina tīmata te kino ki a KOE! Ka puta tēnei ina nui rawa āu mahi, ā, ka ngaro koe i a koe anō, ā, kāore koe e noho hei kaupapa matua. Ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro he nui ake te hiranga o tētahi atu i a koe. Ki te hiahia koe kia huri, kia mahara kāore tō hoa e pai ki a ia i te tīmatanga. Kua taunga hoki tō hoa ki a koe hei whāriki tatau. Engari ki te whakapau kaha koe ki te mahi i ngā huringa iti i ngā wā katoa, ka puta he hua nui i te mutunga," te kī a Joie.
Hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, ka tūtohu a Joie i te huarahi tawhito o te ipu.
E mea ana ia, "Me tiaki koe i a koe anō, pērā i tāu tiaki i tētahi oko puehu tawhito."
Tangohia te ipu i te kokonga: Kawea mai koe i te kokonga ka mea atu ki a koe anō he pai ki a koe, he matea hoki ōu me whakatutuki. Whakaaetia tēnā.
Whakakanapahia te ipu: Whakapaipai i a koe anō. Whakapaipaihia ō āhua. He tapahi makawe. Ātaahua, ā, kia pai tō wairua. Whakatinanahia he mahi whakangahau. Whaia ō hiahia. Ahakoa he mahi iti noa iho pēnei i te hoko hu hou māu, ka taea te whakanui i te wairua. Ko te whakaaro kia ātaahua tō āhua tinana, kia rite hoki tō wairua i roto. Me taea e koe te titiro ki te whakaata me te mea, 'Āe!'
Whakaaturia te ipu: Haere ki waho ka taunekeneke ki te tangata me te kore tō hoa. Kia pai tō wā, kaua e mataku.
Ahakoa te āhua ngāwari o tēnei, ehara i te mea ngāwari. Ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, he uaua te haere ki tēnei. Ko te huarahi anake ki te angitu ko te piri ki tēnei tikanga, ahakoa he aha ngā kōrero a tō hoa mō tō tirohanga hou ki te ao.
E kore rawa tō hoa e ngāwari. Ka ngana rātou ki te tukino i a koe i roto i te ngākau , ki te whakahaere hoki i a koe. Engari kia kaha tonu. Kaua e aro ki ngā kōrero a te hoa. Whakatenatenahia tō hoa kia pērā anō hoki ina ngana rātou ki te whakama i a koe, ki te karanga rānei i a koe he tangata hiahia, he ingoa kē atu rānei. Ki te kore e taea e koe te aroha ki a koe anō, e kore rawa e taea e koe te aroha ki tētahi atu.
Me mahi tēnei mō ngā marama e ono, ā, ka waiho tēnei hei tikanga māu. Me mahi mō ngā marama e 12, ā, ka noho ko koe te mea noa mā tō hoa. Āta haere, engari he pono, ka ngaro haere te paitini o tō whanaungatanga.”
Ko te tikanga, ko tēnei huarahi he ako anō i a koe anō ki te whakarite i a koe anō kia angitu ai te whakakore i ngā whanonga kino i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Anei ngā huarahi e 21 hei mahi i tēnā me te whakaora tahi:
1. Aromatawai mēnā ka taea e koe te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino
Ae, ka taea te whakatika i tētahi hononga paitini, ā, ka ora anō hoki hei tokorua. Engari, kāore e rite te hanga o ngā paitini katoa. He maha ngā wā ka puta mai i roto i te whānuitanga o ngā taumata kaha.
Ahakoa e hiahia ana koe ki te whakatika i ngā kino o tētahi whanaungatanga, me te whakaora i a koe anō hei tokorua, he mea nui kia arotakehia mēnā he hua tūturu. Hei tauira, ko tētahi whanaungatanga e hua ai te tukino, te tutu rānei, kāore e tika kia whakaorangia. Inaa, kāore e taea te whakatika i aua whanaungatanga.
Waihoki, ki te kore tetahi o ngā hoa e pai ki te mahi i ngā mahi o roto e hiahiatia ana hei whakakore i te paitini, kāore he huarahi e taea ai e koe te ahu whakamua.
2. Tangohia he wā okioki
Ko te whakautu ki te pehea e whakatika ai i tētahi whanaungatanga kino kei roto i te matara atu i tō hoa mō tētahi wā. Kia whai whakaaro kore aroha koe mēnā ka taea e koe te whakatika i ngā mea kua pakaru i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ā, kia kite i te tumanako mō te heke mai, me tango he wā okioki mai i te whanaungatanga.
I tēnei wā, me whai tonu i te Ture Kore Pa . Mā tēnei tawhiti ka taea e kōrua te hono anō me te arotahi ki ō kōrua hiahia takitahi. Haunga tēnā, ka taea e tēnei wā wehe te mahi hei rārangi e wehewehe ana i ō kōrua rā o te paitini mai i te wā i whakatau ai kōrua ki te tango i te paitini mai i te whanaungatanga. Ka hoatu he whai wāhi ki a kōrua ki te tautuhi anō i te whanaungatanga.
Heoi anō, ka nui ake te uaua o tēnei mena kei te rapu āwhina koe mō te marena kino. I taua wā, ka taea e tetahi o ngā hoa rangatira te whakarite i tētahi atu whakaritenga noho mō taua wā. Heoi anō, ka taea e koe te whakatau kia whakaitihia te whakapā atu i tēnei 'wā okiokinga'.
Pānui e pā ana: Ārai i te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga paitini mā te maka atu i ēnei mea
3. Arotahi ki a koe ano
Hei whakakore i ngā whanonga paitini, me whakarite e koe ō hiahia, ō tumanakohanga me ō wawata. E ai ki tā Joie, whai i te huarahi tawhito o te ipu hei arotahi ki a koe anō i tēnei wā wehe i roto i tō whanaungatanga.
Ina whakatau koe ki te hono anō, kia kaha ki te pupuri i ēnei tikanga mō te wā e ono marama ki te tau, kia uru rā anō ki roto i a koe hei 'āhua hou'. Mā tēnei ka ārai i a koe kei hoki anō ki ngā tikanga tawhito, kino.
Kāore e taea te whakarerekē i te tikanga o te whakanoho i a koe anō ki mua mēnā kei te rapu koe ki te whakatika i a koe anō i muri i tētahi whanaungatanga kino. Kia taea ai tēnei te mahi me te kore he hara, me titiro koe ki tēnei hei mahi aroha ki a koe anō, kaua hei mahi whaiaro.
4. Akohia te ABCD o te whanonga paitini
He ABCD anō tō te whanaungatanga paitini – arā, ko ngā whakapae, ko te whakapae, ko ngā whakahē, ko ngā tono. Tērā pea ka horapa ēnei āhuatanga katoa i roto i te whanaungatanga ina whakaatu tetahi, tetahi rānei o ngā hoa tokorua i ngā āhuatanga paitini.
Hei whakaora i taua paitini, hei whakakore hoki i ngā kino o te whanaungatanga, me whakapau kaha kōrua ko tō hoa ki te whakamutu i tēnei huringa. Ina kite koe kei te anga atu koe, tō hoa rānei ki tētahi o ēnei tauira raruraru, kaua e wareware ki te aro atu ki taua mea.
Ka māmā ake tēnei mēnā ka mārama ngā hoa e rua kāore rāua e whawhai ana tetahi ki tetahi, engari kei te whawhai tahi rāua hei kapa ki tētahi āhua raruraru.
5. Tangohia te kawenga ki te whakakore i ngā whanonga paitini
He tino ōrite te whakataukī "e rua ngā hoa e hiahia ana ki te tango" ki te kaupapa matua o ngā whanaungatanga kino. Ahakoa i puta te paitini i te whanonga raruraru a tetahi hoa, ka tere tonu te mimiti o tetahi atu ki roto.
Ka tīmata hei wairua ora hei aro atu ki ngā kēmu whakapae katoa, ngā whakapae, ngā pakanga kino me te whakahaere kare ā-roto. I mua i tō mōhio, kua uru koe ki te raruraru.
Nō reira, ina whakatau koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, he mea nui te whakaaroaro hohonu. Whakapaua te wā ki te aromatawai i tō tūranga ki te whakanui me te whakanui ake i ō raruraru whanaungatanga. Ā, whakaae atu ki tēnā i mua i tō hoa.
Whakatenatenahia rātou kia pērā anō.
6. Āraia te hiahia ki te whakapae
Ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te tango i te kawenga mō tāu mahi, tera pea ka kitea koe e kōrero puku ana ki tō hoa me pēhea rātou i tīmata ai i ēnei whanonga raruraru. Me karo i tēnā ahakoa pēhea mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te ahu whakamua i roto i te whakakore i ngā tauira whanonga paitini.
7. Whakamahia te reo 'Ahau'
Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi māmā ki te whakaiti i te kino o tētahi whanaungatanga ko te whakamahi i te reo 'ahau' kaua ko te 'koe'. Me kī atu kua mahia e tō hoa tētahi mea hei whakapataritari i a koe. Engari ko te kī, 'he mahi tonu tāu…', ngana ki te kī 'Kei te pōuri ahau ina mahi koe…'.
Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te whakapuaki i ō āwangawanga me ō whakaaro, me te kore e whakapouri, e kore hoki e meinga tō hoa kia noho pōrearea. Mā tēnā, ka taea e koe te whakapai ake i ō tupono ki te whiwhi urupare pai ake mai i a rātou.
8. Kia kitea, kia rangona hoki koe
Ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga matua o tētahi whanaungatanga kino ko te hoa e whiwhi ana i te kino ka takahi i ngā anga hua manu kia kore ai e whakaoho i tētahi atu. Mā tēnei āhua ki te huna i ō kare ā-roto, ki te parai i ngā raruraru ki raro i te whāriki, ā, ki te huna i a koe anō i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka arahi pea ki te mauahara ā muri ake nei.
Haunga tēnā, kāore pea tō hoa e mōhio kei te pēnei ō whakaaro i roto i ā rātou mahi. Nō reira, kia kore ai e pāngia te whanaungatanga, me tīmata koe ki te whakamana i a koe anō. Ki te mea he kupu, he mahi rānei tā tō hoa e rite ana ki te whakaiti, ki te mamae rānei, me whakamōhio atu ki a ia.
Ae, kāore he whakapae, he whakapae rānei. Kia tūpato mēnā ka pāngia koe e te manukanuka, e te mataku rānei. Ki te pērā, tera pea ētahi take kāore anō kia whakatauhia, me aro atu koe ki te āwhina a tētahi tohunga pēnei i te kaiwhakaora hinengaro, i te kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro rānei.
9. Kaua e whakaara anō i ngā take tawhito
Mō te whakamana i a koe anō, arotahi ki te whakatuwhera i tētahi whārangi hou inaianei. Kaua e whakauru mai i ngā take o mua kāore anō kia whakatauhia. Ka nui ake te kino o ngā raruraru i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa, kaua e āwhina kia iti ake te kino o te whanaungatanga.
Mena he raruraru o mua kāore e taea e koe te whakarere, e whakaaro ana rānei koe kāore e taea te tīmata hou me te kore e aro atu ki aua raruraru, ko te huarahi tika ko te mahi i raro i te aratohu me te tirotiro a tētahi tohunga ngaio.
He maha ngā wā kāore i a tātou te kaha ki te whakahaere me te whakatau i ngā kare ā-roto e puritia ana, ā, e kore e taea te whakatau i aua kare ā-roto e tātou anake.
10. Whakaarohia te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine
Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino kua roa rawa te hanga o ngā whanonga kino me te koretake, ka noho ko te whakaora i ngā hoa rangatira hei mea nui, ehara i te mea hei kōwhiringa. He maha ngā wā, kāore e taea e ngā hoa rangatira te kite i ngā tauira raruraru i a rātou anō. He iti iho te wā ki te wawahi me te whakakapi i aua tauira ki ngā mahi hauora.
I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te ārahi me te wawaotanga a te tohunga ka noho hei whakaritenga matua hei whakakore i ngā kino o te whanaungatanga. Ka taea e te kōrero whakaora te āwhina i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakakore i ngā kino me te whakaora tahi.
Kia mōhio koe, ehara te rapu āwhina i te tohu ngoikore, i te tohu hinga rānei. Engari, he tohu tēnei mō tō whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga me te hiahia kia kaua e whakarērea tetahi ki tetahi ahakoa te uaua o te āhua.
Pānui e pā ana: Te Tohutohu Whakawhanaungatanga – Ngā Mea Katoa e Hiahia Ana Koe kia Mōhio
11. Tīmata ki te whakahoki mai i tō wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga
I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, ka noho noa iho tētahi o ngā hoa ki te tūranga 'whāriki tatau'. Ka tīmata ngā matea, ngā wawata me ngā tumanakohanga a tētahi o ngā hoa ki te whakahaere i te whanaungatanga. Hei whakatutuki i a rātou, ka ngaro haere te āhua o tētahi atu.
Ko te wawahi i tēnei tauira he wāhanga nui o te panga 'me pēhea te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino'. E ai ki tā Joie, ka tūtaki tēnei mahi ki te ātete mai i te hoa kua taunga ki te whai i tā rātou e pai ai.
Engari me u tonu koe kia tae rā anō ki te taumata angitu. Kaua e whakaroa i ō mahi kia kore ai tō hoa e pāngia e te mamae me te pōuri. Mā te pera, ka kaha ake te whakakaha i ōna āhua kino.
12. Kia aroha tetahi ki tetahi
Ka tīmata te pānga kino o tētahi wāhanga ki tētahi atu. Ahakoa ko koe te tangata e whakaaro ana kāore koe e kitea, kāore koe e rangona, kāore koe e whakaitihia, tera pea kua whanakehia e koe ētahi āhuatanga kino hei huarahi ātete.
Heoi anō, ki te mea ko te paitini te hua o ngā whanaungatanga raruraru, ka whakawhanakehia e ngā hoa tokorua ētahi āhuatanga kino hei arai. Ko te huarahi pai ki te ārai i ēnei me te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga paitini ko te whai i te ara o te aroha.
Kaua e tautohetohe tetahi ki tetahi, me ngā whakapae me ngā whakapae e mura ana, engari me whakanoho koe ki te wāhi o tetahi, ka ngana ki te mārama ki te pūtake o aua whakapae. Tērā pea kei te ahotea rātou nā te mahi, nā ngā raruraru pūtea, nā ngā raruraru rānei me ētahi atu mema o te whānau.
Ahakoa kaua tēnei e waiho hei whakamārama mō ā rātou whanonga tutu, mā te mārama ki te pūtake o ā rātou mahi ka pai ake tō whakarite kia kore ai rātou e whai wāhi atu ki te whakahē i a rātou i ngā wā e tika ana.
13. Arotahi ki te aroha
He nui rawa ngā mahi tinihanga me ngā mahi whakaari i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga paitini, ā, ka waiho te wāhanga tino nui o tētahi hononga aroha – te aroha – hei muri. Ina mahi koe ki te tango i ngā mahi paitini i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, arahina tō aro ki te aroha.
Kaua e aro ki ō raruraru, engari tukua ngā take katoa e aroha ana koe ki tō hoa rangatira kia whakahaere i tō hinengaro. Tērā pea kāore ēnei take e puta noa mai i te tīmatanga. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe anō kei te whakaaro koe he aha kōrua i noho tahi ai, kei te ngana rānei koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino.
I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he pai ki te whakarārangi i ngā take e aroha ai koe ki tō hoa rangatira i roto i tētahi rātaka, i tētahi pukatuhi rānei. I te wā e mahi ana koe i tēnā, kia tino mōhio kei ngā maharatanga o nāianei ēnei take, kaua ko ngā maharatanga o mua.
14. Whakapūmau ki te kōrero pono, hauora hoki
Ko ngā raruraru me ngā arai whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te pūtake o te paitini. Ina kore e taea e kōrua te kōrero tika i ō kōrua kare ā-roto – ahakoa te nui, te iti rānei o te take – ka tīmata he huringa whanonga paitini.
Kāore pea e rite ki tērā i tēnei wā. Engari ki te whakaaroaro koe, ka mārama koe i te ao whānui ko ngā mea iti i honoa, i huri hei rerekētanga kāore e taea te whakatau.
Koia te take, kia taea ai te whakakore i ngā whanonga kino, me whakapau kaha koe ki ngā tauira whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pono, hauora hoki. Heoi, kaua te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e whakapoauautia ki te uiui i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.
Ko te whakaaro kia taea e koe te kōrero i ō whakaaro me te kore e wehi, e āwangawanga, e kore hoki e ruarua.
15. Kaua e mataku i ngā kōrero whakararuraru
Kāore he ara poto hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino. He tukanga roa tēnei, he maha ngā tukanga whakararuraru. Ko tētahi o aua tukanga ko te hiahia ki te kōrero i ngā kōrero whakararuraru kua roa rawa nei kōrua ko tō hoa e karo ana.
Me kī atu ko ōu āhua kino i ahu mai i tētahi takahanga o te whanoke. Ahakoa kua whiriwhiria e kōrua kia noho tahi, kāore anō kōrua kia houhia te rongo ki tō hoa i te huarahi tika. Kāore pea i nui ō kōrero mō taua mea. Kāore rānei i taea e koe te muru i tā rāua hara. Kāore pea koe i whai wā ki te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto i mua i te whakatau me noho tonu, me wehe atu rānei.
Nā te mea kei te ngana koe ki te whakatika i ō hapa, me whakatuwhera anō e koe aua patunga tawhito kia whai wāhi ai koe ki te whakaora. Anō nei, ko te mahi i tēnei me te āwhina a te kaitohutohu whanaungatanga, te kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei, te huarahi mahi e taunakihia ana.
16. Akohia te whakawhirinaki anō ki a koe anō
He maha ngā wā ka whakamahia e te hoa kino ngā tikanga whakahaere kare ā-roto pērā i te whakamahi i te hau hei whakamātau i te whakaaro o te hoa ki te whakahē. He mahi tinihanga tēnei hei huri i te mana ki tōna taha.
Ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te whakatika i a koe anō i muri i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, i te whanaungatanga tonu rānei, arotakehia mēnā kua kore koe e whakawhirinaki ki ō ake whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto. Ki te pērā, me mahi koe i te mahi hei hanga anō i taua whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō.
Kāore tō pono, tō wheako, ō kare ā-roto e taea te tautohetohe. Ina ako koe ki te tū pakari, ka āwhina anō koe ki te wawahi i ngā tauira whakahāwea a tō hoa. Koinā te ahunga whakamua.
17. Whakapuakina te whakahē i roto i te huarahi hauora
Ahakoa te hiahia kia iti ake te kino o te whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea me whakaae tahi kōrua ko tō hoa i ngā wā katoa. Ki te kore kōrua e whakaae ki tētahi mea kua kōrerotia, kua mahia rānei e te hoa, engari kāore e whakapuaki i ō māua whakaaro, kei te whakahohe koe i ngā whanonga kino.
Ko te mea nui ko te kaha ki te whakapuaki i ngā whakaaro, i ngā whakahē rānei e whakahē ana i roto i te huarahi hauora, whai hua hoki. Ko te tikanga hanawiti – ka tīmata koe me te whakamoemiti, me te kōrero pai rānei, kātahi ka whai i te whakahē e tukuna ana e koe, kātahi ka mutu me tētahi atu kōrero pai – koinei tētahi o ngā huarahi tino pono mō tēnei.
Pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā raruraru whanaungatanga ka pā ki a koe mēnā he mātua kino ōu
18. Whakatakotoria he rohe whanaungatanga hauora
Hei tango i te paitini i roto i te whanaungatanga, me whakapau kaha ngā hoa e rua ki te whakatakoto i ngā rohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā tēnei ka taea e koe te kite i a koe anō he takitahi motuhake, kaua he kotahi noa iho.
He maha ngā wā ka āraia te wāhi whaiaro, te mana motuhake me te herekore i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino. Mā te whakatakoto rohe ka taea e koe te whakahoki mai i taua wāhi whaiaro me tō tuakiri hoki.
Ko te wairua motuhake, ahakoa i te taha kare ā-roto, i ngā āhuatanga mahi rānei o tō ao, he āhuatanga whakaora i a koe mai i ngā tauira paitini o te whakawhirinaki nui rawa me te whakawhirinaki tahi.
19. Arotahi ki ētahi atu whanaungatanga i roto i tō koiora
Ko te ao o te hunga kua mau i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino ka memeha haere ki a rātou anake. Ahakoa nā te koretake, te hae, te wehi rānei, ka tīmata tetahi o ngā hoa, e rua rānei, ki te ngaro te hononga ki ngā tāngata o roto i tō rātou porowhita hohonu. Ko te whānau, ko ngā hoa, ko ngā hoa mahi – ko ngā whanaungatanga i waho o te hononga aroha ka neke haere ki te taha, he āta haere engari he pono.
Mā tēnei āhua mokemoke ka nui haere te mauhere o tō kōrua hononga. Kia kore ai e kino te whanaungatanga o te tokorua , me hoki anō kōrua ki ēnei hononga tawhito, me te whakapakari anō i aua hononga.
Whakaritea he wā ki te haereere me te kore hoa rangatira, ki te whakawhanaunga ki ō hoa, ki te noho tahi me tō whānau, ki te haere ki ngā huihuinga tari. Mā ēnei taunekeneke ka puta he ngākau māhaki me te harikoa.
I a koe e hoki ana ki tō hoa me te whakakīia o ōu kaha, ka taea e koe te hoatu i te mea pai rawa atu ki tō whanaungatanga.
20. Kaua e tukua kia paheke ngā pakanga
Ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te tango i te paitini i roto i te whanaungatanga, tera pea ka ara ake ētahi pakanga, ngā whakahē me ngā rerekētanga whakaaro. Pērā i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa.
Engari kaua e tukua kia ngaro rātou i te wehi kei whakakorea e tētahi atu pakanga, tautohetohe rānei te ahunga whakamua kua tutuki i a koe. Kia maumahara ko te paitini e pā ana ki a koe he tapeke o ngā pakanga iti katoa kāore i pā ki a koe.
21. Awhitia ngā huringa ake ake
He ngāwari te huri mō te wā poto. Engari ki te kore koe e whakapau kaha ki te whakauru i taua huringa ki roto i a koe, ka nui tonu te tūponotanga o te hoki ki ō tikanga me ō tauira tawhito.
Hei whakakore i ngā whanonga paitini mō ake tonu atu, kaua e whakakapi noa i ngā whanonga kino ki ngā whanonga hauora, engari me pupuri tonu hoki mō te wā roa.
Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, engari ehara hoki i te mea kāore e taea. Mēnā e whakaae ana ngā hoa e rua ki te raruraru, ā, e noho tahi ana hei hoa mahi ōrite ki te kimi i tētahi otinga, he whāinga tino pono te huringa pumau.
FAQ-
Ae, mēnā e whakaae ana ngā hoa e rua ki te raruraru, ā, e noho tahi ana hei hoa mahi ōrite ki te rapu i tētahi otinga, ka taea te whakaora i ngā whanaungatanga kino.
He wāhi nui tā ngā hoa e rua ki te whakakino i te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa i ahu mai te paitini i ngā āhuatanga o tō hoa, i ngā raruraru o mua rānei, tera pea kua whai wāhi koe ki te whakahohe i ā rāua whanonga.
Hei whakakore i ngā kino o tētahi whanaungatanga, me wāwāhi e koe ngā tauira hauora me ngā tauira pōrearea, ka whakakapia ki ngā tauira hauora, tōtika.
He pai te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga mēnā ahakoa ngā raruraru me ngā āhua kino katoa, kei a ngā hoa e rua te hiahia kia angitu. Heoi anō, kāore tēnei tauira e pā ki ngā whanaungatanga tukino.
Me pēhea te wikitoria i te whakawhirinaki tahi i roto i ngā whanaungatanga
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
