Ndimupatse Mpata Wina - Mfundo 9 Zoti Muganizire

Mwayi wina - Kupereka kapena kusapereka? Mwafika pachibwenzi chanu pomwe mukudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndimupatsenso mwayi wina?". Anachitapo kanthu kuti akupwetekeni kapena kukukhumudwitsani, koma simukudziwa choti muchite tsopano. Osadandaula. Tabwera kudzakutsogolerani monga nthawi zonse. Mukudziwa kuti sitilola kuti owerenga athu azimva kuti ali okha pankhani yamavuto a ubale. 

Mwinamwake mwakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna uyu kwa nthawi ndithu tsopano chifukwa simukanakhala mu pickle yotere ngati ichi chinali chibwenzi wamba. Mwina mwamugwadira ndipo mukufuna kuwona momwe nonse awiri mungapitirire, kapena muli paubwenzi wodzipereka ndi iye kale. Ndipo chilichonse chomwe adachita sichinali chosokoneza, koma chimakupwetekanibe. Ndicho chifukwa chake mukuganizira zomupatsa mwayi wina. Kodi ndizofunika? Tiyeni tifufuze. 

Kodi Ndikoyenera Kupatsa Wina Mwayi Wachiwiri?

Munthu amene mumamukonda komanso kumukhulupirira akakupwetekani, zimakhala zovuta kusankha ngati mumupatsenso kapena ayi. Munamudalira munthuyu. Munali otsimikiza kuti munthuyu sangakupwetekeni. Komabe, pamapeto pake anakupwetekani, kaya mwadala kapena mosadziwa. Simukudziwa momwe mungamupatsenso mwayi wina atakupwetekani. Izi ndi zinthu zomwe muyenera kuziganizira ngati mukudandaula kuti mwasiya chibwenzi chanu ndipo mukufuna kupatsa wina mwayi wina:

• Kodi mumamukondabe? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti palibe cholakwika kumupatsa mwayi wina
• Kodi watenga udindo pa zochita zake? Ichinso ndi chizindikiro china choti muyanjanitse ndikuyesera kuti chigwire ntchito
• Ngati mawu ake nthawi zonse amagwirizana ndi zochita zake, ndi chizindikiro china choti mupitirizebe kuyesetsa chifukwa nayenso akuyesetsa momwe angathere

Kodi ndimupatsenso mwayi wina atandipweteka? Funsoli litafunsidwa pa Reddit, munthu wina anayankha kuti, “Chisoni chidzapangitsa anthu kunena chilichonse. Kaya kangati wakale wanga ananena kuti adzachita chilichonse kuti andisangalatse, ndili pano, ndasiyana naye patatha zaka 7 ndikuyesera kuti zinthu ziyende bwino. Nthawi yochepa yokhala wabwino ingachepe kwambiri. Ngati mukufuna kupitiriza kuyesa, ndikuganiza kuti muyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali kuti muwone ngati akusinthadi. Nthawi zina, nthawi si yoyenera, ndipo anthu awiri sagwirizana.”

Mwayi wachiwiri umaperekedwa kamodzi kokha. Sikuti kawiri kapena katatu kapena kangapo munthu amachita zolakwa nthawi zonse. Ngati mupitiliza kumuitana munthuyo kuti abwerere m'moyo wanu koma simukuwona akusintha njira zake, ndi chizindikiro choopsa ndipo muyenera kuganiziranso ubalewo.

Mfundo 9 Zoyenera Kuziganizira Ngati Mukumupatsa Mwayi Wina

Mwayi wachiwiri ukhoza kuchitika ngati onse awiri ayesetsa mofanana - osati munthu amene analakwitsa ndipo akufunitsitsa kubwererana, kapena osati wokhululuka amene akufunitsitsa kuona kukula kwa wokondedwa wake. M'munsimu muli zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kukumbukira mukamayanjana ndi wokondedwa wanu:

1. Nonse munatengapo udindo pakugwa 

Ubale sungagwire ntchito ngati munthu m'modzi yekha ndiye akuyenera kuyankha mlandu wonse. Munanena zinthu mumtima mwake ndipo nayenso anatero. Ngati wapepesa chifukwa cha zomwe adachita, inunso muyenera kupepesa. Musayembekezere kuti atenge mlandu wonse chifukwa chakuti ndiye anayambitsa mkangano kapena anayamba kunena zinthu zopweteka muubwenziwo . Ngati munachitanso chimodzimodzi pobwezera, ndiye kuti muyenera kumupepesanso.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akufotokoza momwe amaonera kupepesa muubwenzi, "Kuphunzira momwe mungapepesere pamene mukudziwa kale kuti mwalakwitsa sikovuta. Gawo lovuta ndi kuthana ndi zochitika zomwe anthu onse awiri ali ndi zifukwa zomveka za zomwe adachita, koma wina (kapena onse awiri) adavulalabe. Muyenera kuvomereza zomwe zinachitika, komanso momwe zidamvekera kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa, popanda kukakamiza mbali imodzi kuti ilakwitse."

2. Mpatseni mwayi wina ngati kunali kusamvetsetsana 

Ngati chifukwa chakusudzulana kwanu ndi kusamvetsetsana kumodzi kokha, ndi bwino kukhala pansi ndi kuthetsa vutolo. Kenako, nonsenu mutha kupereka mwayi winanso paubwenziwu chifukwa palibe amene adalakwitsa chilichonse. Musalole zinthu zazing’ono zimenezi kukulepheretsani kukhala wosangalala. 

Anna, wantchito wothandiza anthu ochokera ku New Jersey, adalembera Bonobology kuti, “Kodi ndimupatse mwayi wina atasiya chibwenzi ndi kundilimbikitsa? Anapepesa chifukwa cha zimenezo ngakhale kuti ndine amene ndinachedwa chibwenzi. Ndinamudikirira kwa mphindi 30. Nditafika kumeneko, anali atatuluka mu lesitilanti. Ndinalemba uthenga woti ndichedwa chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa magalimoto koma anati sanayang'ane foni yake. Ndikudziwa kuti kungakhale kusamvetsetsana kopusa ndipo takonza chibwenzi china. Tiyeni tiwone momwe zinthu zidzayendere.”

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungakhululukire Ndi Kuiwala Mu Ubwenzi

3. Anali kutanthauza pamene anapepesa 

Anthu ena amanena kuti “Pepani” pofuna kungochoka m’mavuto koma sakutanthauza zimenezo. Komabe, ngati mnzanuyo wapepesa ndi mtima wonse ndipo akutanthauza zimene ananena, palibe vuto kumpatsa mpata wina. 

Tiyerekeze kuti anakuputani kapena anakunyalanyazani kwa masiku angapo. Mukuganiza kuti, “Kodi ndimupatsenso mwayi wina atandiputani n’kubwerera ?” NGATI walonjeza kuti sadzabwerezanso zomwe anachita ndipo ngati zifukwa zake zinali zenizeni, ndiye kuti inde. Mwachitsanzo:

• Anali ndi vuto lalikulu la ntchito
• Banja lake linali ndi vuto ladzidzidzi 
• Anali kulimbana ndi mavuto a maganizo
• Iye anali kulimbana ndi kumwerekera 

4. Nonse mumakondanabe ngakhale kuti munatha 

Kusweka kumapweteka mosasamala kanthu za moyo wautali waubwenzi. Simungathe kulingalira moyo wanu popanda iye ndipo mumamusowa kwambiri. Ngati mukufunitsitsa kuti wakale wanu abwerere, ngati sanachite chilichonse chachikulu kuti akupwetekeni, ngati nkhani yothetsa chibwenziyo itha kuthetsedwa, ndiye kuti mutha kumupatsa mwayi wina popeza mukupweteka kwambiri. 

Amakupangitsani kumva ngati ndinu woyamba kwambiri, amayamikira malingaliro anu ndi kupezeka kwanu, amakupangitsani kumva kuti mumakondedwa, ndipo amachita chidwi ndi zomwe mumakonda. Simungaleke kulira chifukwa chosweka ndipo, momveka bwino, ndi chimodzimodzi kuchokera kumbali yake. Kenako mungayesetse kuthetsa mavuto anu m’njira yothandiza. Nawa maupangiri:

• Yesetsani kusinthasintha maganizo mu chiyanjano
• Vomerezani kuti palibe ubale wabwino 
• Lankhulani za zovutazo koma pewani kuloza zala
• Khalani oleza mtima ndipo yesani kumvetsa zinthu mmene iwo amazionera
• Pangani wina ndi mzake kumva kuwonedwa ndi kumva. Osasokoneza malingaliro a mnzanuyo
• Musalole kuti mawu akunja asokoneze ubale wanu
• Lumikizanani bwino ndikumenya nkhondo mwachilungamo osagwiritsa ntchito mawu a hyperbolic komanso osasewera masewera olakwa 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 9 a Akatswiri Oti Musadzimvere Chisoni Mukatha Kusudzulana

5. Kodi ndimupatsenso mwayi wina atandipweteka? Inde, ngati nonse mukulolera kusiya kudzikonda kwanu 

Mdani wamkulu wa ubale wanu ndi kudzikonda kwanu. Dziwani kuti simungakhale olondola nthawi zonse. Kuphatikiza apo, simungasewere nthawi zonse khadi yovutitsidwa ndikuthawa zolakwa zanu. Musamayembekezere kuti iyeyo ndiye yekhayo amene angalole kuti kudzikuza kwake kuyendere pamene inuyo mukuika ulemu wanu pamwamba pa munthu aliyense. Mofananamo, iye sangapange kudzikuza kwake kukhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndikukuchitirani zoipa. 

Ngati ali wokonzeka kuthetsa vutoli, ndiye kuti inunso mungachite chimodzimodzi ndikuyambanso ubalewu. Mukuyesera kumanganso chidaliro . Chikhulupiriro ndi chimwemwe zidzabwera mwachibadwa mukaika ubalewo patsogolo pa kudzikuza kwanu. Mwayi wachiwiri umagwira ntchito kwa anthu omwe amaika dyera lawo pambali chifukwa cha chimwemwe cha mnzawo.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akunena kuti, "Ndikuganiza kuti mwayi wachiwiri ukhoza kukwaniritsidwa. Zinandithandiza ndipo ndikusangalala kwambiri tsopano, patatha zaka 7. Tsopano takhala limodzi kwa zaka 15. Kusintha ubale wanu kuti ugwirizane ndi munthu wina popanda kulola kuti kudzikuza kuwononge ubale wanu kungakhale kovuta koma pamapeto pake kungatheke ngati nonse mukufunadi kuti ugwire ntchito."

6. Ndi wololera kunyengerera ndipo inunso muli wokonzeka 

Janice, wophika buledi wazaka 30 wochokera ku Miami, akufunsa kuti, “Kodi ndimupatse mwayi wina atanama? Ankangondinamiza kuti angalole kuti zinthu zimuyendere bwino . Patha miyezi iwiri kuchokera pamene tinayamba chibwenzi kachiwiri, koma ineyo nthawi zonse ndimayenera kulola kuti zinthu zimuyendere bwino. Chilichonse chimawoneka ngati nsembe tsopano. Sindikuganiza kuti kumupatsa mwayi wina chinali chisankho chanzeru kwa ine.”

Ngati nayenso safuna kunyengerera, msiyeni azipita. Koma ngati akusintha mofanana ndi inu, ndiye kuti akukusonyezani kuti ali ndi mphamvu zokulira muubwenziwo. Ndipo ndichofunikanso kuwombera kwina. 

7. Iye ali wokonzeka kukhala poyera ndi inu kuyambira tsopano

Kodi ndimupatse mwayi wina atanama? Inde, ngati wavomera kusiya mabodza onse oyera ndipo ali wokonzeka kudzithandiza. Mabodza sali abwino muubwenzi uliwonse . Mwina wabodza kuti ateteze malingaliro anu kapena kubisa zolakwa zake kapena mwina ndi wabodza wokakamira. Kaya chifukwa chake ndi chiyani, tsopano popeza wavomera kudzithandiza, ndi chizindikiro chabwino kumupatsa mwayi wina.

Atafunsidwa pa Reddit ngati kunama kuli bwino muubwenzi, wogwiritsa ntchito wina adalankhula za kunama kokakamiza, "Musamunyoze chifukwa cha izi. Ayenera kulankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Kunama kokakamiza ndi njira yophunzirira yothana ndi mavuto omwe angachiritsidwe ndikuthandizidwa. Ngati ndi wabodza wokakamiza, sakuchita izi chifukwa cha nkhanza, ayenera kuyamba kulandira chithandizo. Mukalankhula naye, onetsetsani kuti akumvetsa kuti mukuchokera ku chikondi ndi nkhawa osati kuweruza. Thandizo lili paliponse."

8. Mpatseni mwayi wina ngati simungathe kupirira lingaliro lomutaya kwa munthu wina

Zimakhala zopweteka kwambiri mukaona munthu amene mumamukonda ali ndi wina. Ngati kungoganiza kuti ali ndi chikondi ndi wina kukuchititsani mantha, ndi bwino kumupatsa mwayi wina. Ngati nayenso akufunitsitsa kuyesetsa kuti zinthu ziyende bwino, mupatseni mwayi wina chifukwa mumamukhulupirira ndipo mukuona tsogolo naye. Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe. Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe nonse mukuopa kutayana :

• Ndinu bwenzi lake lapamtima komanso mosemphanitsa
• Nonse mumathandizirana pakukula kwa wina ndi mnzake m'mbali zonse za moyo kuphatikiza luso, luntha, komanso kukula kwamalingaliro. 
• Simungathe kukwiyirana kwa nthawi yayitali
• Muli ndi njira yabwino yothanirana ndi mikangano  
• Mumathera nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake ndikupeza njira zosangalalira ndi kuyamikirana

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungatayire Malingaliro a Munthu Amene Mumamukonda Ndipo Mumusiye

9. Zochita zake zimalankhula mokweza kuposa mawu ake

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kuziganizira mukamasokonezeka ndi mwayi wachiwiri. Ngati mukumva m'mafupa anu kuti amakukondanidi ndipo 'zimawonekera' m'zochita zake, ndiye kuti mutha kumupatsa mwayi wina. Akhoza kukhala mnzanu wamoyo komanso 'mapeto anu osangalatsa'. 'Chikondi chenicheni' chimenecho. Mawu ndi otonthoza komanso olimbikitsa. Komabe, ndi zochita zake zomwe zingapangitse kusiyana kumapeto kwa tsiku. Ngati akunena kuti adzasintha ndipo zochita zake zitsimikizira zimenezo, ndiye kuti akuyenera mwayi wachiwiri.

Pamene Osapereka Mwayi Wachiwiri

Tiyeneranso kuyang'ana mbali yovuta yopatsa munthu mwayi wachiwiri. Pali nthawi zambiri pamene munthu sakuyenera chikondi chanu chifukwa zimatha kukhala zoopsa ngati inu nokha ndinu wopereka. Mumachita khama kwambiri kuti muwone wina akumwetulira ndikusangalala, pomwe winayo 'alipo' ndipo amaganiza kuti ndizokwanira. Ameneyo ndi munthu wosayenerera kukhululukidwa. Nazi zina zomwe simuyenera kupatsa wina mwayi wachiwiri :

• Ubwenziwo ukakhudza nkhanza zamtundu uliwonse kuphatikiza chipongwe ndi mawu osalankhula monga kumenyetsa miyala, kukunyengererani, komanso kukupatulani kwa ena.
• Kodi ndimupatsenso mwayi wina atanyenga? Ngati ananyenga kamodzi ndipo ndinu wokonzeka kupereka kuwombera kwina, ndiye kuti kusankha kwanu. Komabe, ngati kubera kwake kumakhala kosalekeza ndipo sakuwoneka kuti wasintha njira zake, ndiye kuti muli bwino popanda iye. Ndikhulupirireni ndikanena izi, mukuyenera bwino
• Ngati mukufuna kumupatsanso mwayi wina chifukwa choopa kukhala nokha, ndi bwino kuti mupitirize kuphunzira momwe mungathetsere kusatetezeka kwanu choyamba. Si chifukwa choyenera kukhala ndi munthu
• Mukufuna kumupatsanso mwayi wina chifukwa zikuoneka kuti wasamuka ndipo mwachita nsanje? Ichi ndi chifukwa choipa kumupatsanso mwayi wina. Ndi nthawi yophunzira momwe mungasinthire nsanje kukhala kulingalira kwanu ndikudziganizira nokha musanalowe mu ubale wina 
• Osamupatsanso mwayi wina ngati sakuvomerezabe zakale. Ngati abwereranso m'moyo wanu, nonse awiri mudzamenyana tsiku lililonse kachiwiri
• Ndibwino kupitilira osamupatsanso mwayi ngati sakufuna kudzipereka koma mukufuna kudzipereka, kapena ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi/mgwirizano wa polyamorous ndipo akufuna zosiyana
• Osamupatsanso mwayi wina ngati ali ndi vuto lokukhulupirirani ndipo nthawi zonse amakukayikirani 

Anthu sasintha nthawi yomweyo. Muyenera kuyika nthawi ndi kuleza mtima ngati mukufunadi ubale kuti upulumuke. M’pofunika kuti muzidziika patsogolo. Ngati mulibe okondwa komanso okhumudwa ndi munthu uyu, ndibwino kuti musiye ndikupitilira. Komabe, ngati munthu uyu akuwonetsa zabwino mwa inu ndipo nonse awiri simunakhalepo ndi nthawi yopumira, ndiye kuti ndi bwino kuperekanso izi. 

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