Ngati tiyang'ana pa izo kupyolera mu lingaliro la chisinthiko, nsanje yatenga mbali yaikulu monga chikondi. Tonsefe tiyenera kuti tinamva kukhala ndi chilombo chobiriwirachi panthawi ina m’moyo wathu. Kaya mupeza bwenzi lanu likuyamikira bwenzi lake lapamtima pa momwe adasinthira kukhala hunk, kapena muwona mwamuna wanu (kapena chibwenzi) akuyenda pansi mbiri ya m'modzi mwa atsikana a m'gulu lanu ndikuwona kunyezimira m'maso mwake - mumamvadi kupsa mtima koteroko komanso nthawi zina mantha, ndikuyamba kudabwa ngati zinthu zili pachiwopsezo.
Zochokera ku chisinthiko
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Nsanje, mofanana ndi malingaliro ena onse akale (chisangalalo, chisoni, chikondi, kukonda ndi kusakonda) idakula ngati yankho ku mavuto azachilengedwe omwe makolo athu adakumana nawo. Mwanjira ina idathandiza kuchepetsa kusakhulupirika pakati pa okwatirana/makolo kotero kuti ana awo amasamalidwa ndipo kupambana kwawo pakubereka kunatsimikizika. Koma kenako ndi kusintha kwa chikhalidwe, chikhalidwe ndi ndale, malingaliro awa adasinthanso mawonekedwe ake kukhala malingaliro ovuta monga kudzichepetsa kapena kukumbukira zakale. Ndipo monga momwe amuna ndi akazi amamvera malingaliro onse mosiyana, nsanje nayonso ndi yosiyana.
Tiyenera kumvetsetsa momwe kholo lililonse limathandizira pakubereka - zomwe ndi zosiyana. Choncho mtundu wa nsanje imene amuna amamva ndi yochuluka yogonana mu chikhalidwe chake.
Kafukufuku wambiri komanso kafukufuku wambiri amati amuna amatha kukhumudwa kwambiri ndi akazi awo kapena atsikana omwe amagona ndi wina komanso kukhala opanda chidwi ndi anthuwo, kusiyana ndi zosiyana.
Pamene akazi, nsanje yachikondi ndi yovuta kwambiri ndipo ingathe kufotokozedwa pang'ono pansi pa nsanje yamaganizo. Mwachitsanzo, kwa akazi n'kovuta kwambiri kuthana ndi kusakhulupirika kwamaganizo kuposa kusakhulupirika kwa kugonana, osati kuti kusakhulupirika si tsoka konse. Koma lingaliro la kusakhulupirika ndi lamaganizo kwambiri kwa akazi kuposa mwamuna.
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Kusiyana kwa jenda
Ngakhale kuti majini sangakhale ndi gawo lenileni loti achite, pali tanthauzo la kusintha kwa zinthu lomwe limapangitsa kuti amuna ndi akazi azichita zinthu mosiyana pankhani ya kusakhulupirika. Kwa mwamuna zimakhala zovuta kusamalira ana ngati ali kutali ndi majini awo, koma choipa kwambiri ngati sakudziwa ngati anawo ndi ake. Chifukwa chake, ayenera kuonetsetsa kuti anawo ndi chipatso cha kupambana kwake pakubereka. Zimenezi zimamupangitsa kukhala ndi nsanje yogonana.
"Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake timachitira nsanje kungapangitse kuti tisavutike kuwongolera."
Kwa mkazi, amadziwa kuti ayenera kubereka yekha mwanayo; zomwe amachita pobereka zimathandiza kuti zivute zitani, mwanayo ndi wake. Komabe, ngati bambo ake palibe kuti amusamalire ndipo sakufuna kumusamalira, ayenera kuda nkhawa ndi zinthu zomwe zingathandize kuti mwanayo aleredwe bwino. Chifukwa chake nsanje yomwe angamve imadalira kwambiri chikondi ndi kupezeka kwa mwana.
Chifukwa chake, nsanje ndikuyankhidwa koyenera kuonetsetsa kukhulupirika ndikuyang'ana kulowetsedwa kwa zinthu zakunja kuti zisungidwe ndikusunga ubale wabwino.
Komabe, pamene tikupita patsogolo m'kupita kwa nthawi, malingaliro a kukhalira limodzi ndi chikondi akusintha. Munthawi yathu ndi zaka zathu, tili ndi anthu ochulukirachulukira omwe akufuna kusankha ngati maubwenzi omasuka, mitala komanso kukhala mkati. Chiŵerengero cha zisudzulo n’chokwera ndipo kulera okha ana n’kovomerezeka ndipo nthawi zina kumakhala kozizira. Choncho maganizo a nsanje nawonso akusintha ndi nthawi.
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Zilekeni
Zowona zimawonekerabe ngati chibadwa chobadwa nacho chomwe chimalola mwamuna kapena mkazi kukayikira kukhulupirika kwawo kwa wina ndi mnzake, ndipo nthawi zina amatha kukhala mbewu yatsoka.
Komabe, m’pofunika kumvetsa kuti mofanana ndi maganizo ena oipa amene angathe kusokoneza ubwenzi wathu ndi munthu wopanikizika, ifenso tiyenera kunena nsanje yathu.
Kwa nthawi yaitali, takhala tikuona nsanje kukhala chinthu chobisika, mosiyana ndi mkwiyo kapena chisoni chimene timalankhula. Koma njira imodzi imene okwatirana angachepetsere ndi kuwongolera nsanje yawo, ndiyo kuuza winayo mmene akumvera.
Vuto ndi nsanje ndilakuti, imakula. Imakula kukhala kusadzidalira komanso kukayikira ndipo izi zimatha kukhala khalidwe lodzikakamiza/lokakamiza pambuyo pake, lomwe lingawononge ubale wanu. Munthu ayenera kulankhula za izi nthawi yomweyo akumva. Zotsatira zina zabwino zolankhula ndi izi, zimakuwonetsani momwe mulili oganiza bwino mukamva nsanje imeneyo: kodi imachokera pazifukwa zomveka, umboni? Kapena kodi mumamva kuti muli ndi chilakolako nthawi yomweyo pamene mumalola chilombo chobiriwira kugonjetsa malingaliro anu? Nthawi zonse, ndi umboni weniweni. Chifukwa chake, lankhulani lero ngati simunachitepo mpaka pano!
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Ibibazo
1. N’chifukwa chiyani amuna ndi akazi angakhale ndi nsanje mosiyana?
Zinthu zamoyo, monga ntchito zachisinthiko, kuphatikizidwa ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, zingayambitse amuna ndi akazi kuchita nsanje m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, nthanthi zachisinthiko zimasonyeza kuti amuna akhoza kuchita nsanje chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika komwe kungachitike, pamene akazi amachitira nsanje chifukwa cha kugwirizana komwe kungawononge ubale wawo.
2. Kodi abambo amachitira nsanje kwambiri kuposa akazi, kapena mosiyana?
Kuchulukira kumasiyana kwambiri ndi umunthu kusiyana ndi jenda. Komabe, abambo ndi amai amatha kuwonetsa nsanje mosiyana: abambo amatha kuziwonetsa kunja chifukwa cha mkwiyo, pomwe amayi amatha kuziyika mkati ndikumva chisoni kapena kusatetezeka.
3. Kodi nsanje ingasiyane pakati pa maubwenzi achikondi ndi a platonic?
Inde, onse aŵiri amuna ndi akazi akhoza kuchita nsanje muubwenzi wa platonic ngati adzimva kukhala oloŵetsedwa m’malo kapena kunyalanyazidwa. Mu maubwenzi achikondi, nsanje ingakhale yowonjezereka, chifukwa imalowetsa m'maganizo ndi m'thupi.
Maganizo Final
Nsanje ndimalingaliro achilengedwe, koma kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe timamvera komanso kuzindikira zomwe zimatipangitsa kuti tisinthe zomwe timachita kungatithandize kuthana nazo bwino. Amuna ndi akazi amatha kukhala ndi nsanje mosiyana chifukwa cha kusakanikirana kwachilengedwe, malingaliro, ndi chikhalidwe. Povomereza kusiyana kumeneku, okwatirana akhoza kukhala ndi chifundo, kulankhulana momasuka, ndikupanga malo omwe nsanje sizimalepheretsa, koma zimalimbitsa ubale.
Ngati nsanje ikukhudza ubale wanu, ganizirani zopempha upangiri kuchokera kwa mlangizi wathu yemwe angakuthandizeni inu ndi mnzanu kumvetsetsa malingaliro a wina ndi mnzake ndikuthana ndi mavuto omwe angakhalepo limodzi.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Inde, vomerezani nanu - nsanje si chinthu chomwe timabadwa nacho. Ndi chinthu chomwe timapeza.