Nsanje mu maubwenzi sizochitika zosangalatsa. Osati kwa mnzawo amene wapsa mtima ndi izi, kapena kwa amene ali kumapeto kwake.
Kwa iwo omwe amadzifunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndikuchita nsanje muubwenzi?" kulongosolako kuli m’mawu a mlembi wotchuka William Penn, “Ansanje amavutitsa ena koma amadzizunza okha.”
Inde, ndi chimodzi mwa malingaliro omwe anthu ambiri amakumana nawo nthawi ndi nthawi. Komabe, munthu mmodzi akamachita zinthu mopanda nsanje, kusiyana pakati pa okwatirana kumatha kukhala koopsa kwambiri.
Kodi nsanje ndi chizindikiro cha chikondi? Ambiri amanena kuti nsanje ndi chizindikiro cha chikondi koma pali kusiyana pakati pa nsanje pa chikondi ndi nsanje yoopsa komanso kukhala ndi mtima wofuna kulamulira ena. Pitirizani kuwerenga kuti mudziwe zomwe mungachite kuti muthane ndi vutoli musanawononge ubale wanu.
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10 Zizindikiro Za Nsanje Mu Ubale
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Nsanje muubwenzi ndi njira yodzilamulira . Munthu akamaopa kutaya mnzawo kapena akumva kuti alibe chitetezo muubwenzi wawo, nsanje imayamba kukula. Ndi maganizo amene amayesa kugwira chinthu chomwe akuopa kuti chingachoke.
Pogwira mawu wolemba mabuku wotchuka Robert A Heinlein, “Munthu waluso ndi wodzidalira sachita nsanje m’chilichonse.
Komabe, nsanje yochulukirachulukira m'maubwenzi imakula, mkangano umakulirakulira pakati pa okondedwa. Kodi mnzanuyo anakuitananipo chifukwa cha nsanje yanu? Kodi zimenezi zimakudabwitsani?
Yang'anani zizindikiro 10 za nsanje muubwenzi kuti muwone ngati mukuwonetsa khalidwe lovutali.
1. Kufunitsitsa kukhala pamodzi nthawi zonse
Kufuna kukhala ndi mnzanu nthawi zonse poganiza kuti mukumusowa kwambiri ndi chizindikiro cha kusadzidalira . Izi zimachepetsa nthawi yomweyo kukhala ndi nsanje. Mwachitsanzo, mungayambe kuchita nsanje ndi anzanu ogwira nawo ntchito omwe mnzanuyo amakhala nawo nthawi zina. Kapena anzawo.
Malingaliro anu, akudya nthawi yanu limodzi. Komabe, izi zitha kukhala zokhumudwitsa kwambiri kwa wokondedwa wanu. Izi zimawapangitsa kumva ngati ali mkaidi pachibwenzi.
Mungaganize kuti mukuchita zinthu kuchokera m'chikondi. Koma kodi nsanje ndi chizindikiro cha chikondi ? Kodi zingatheke? Ayi. Khalidwe limeneli, makamaka, ndi chizindikiro cha chikondi chodzikonda . Si chikondi chopatsa, chathunthu chomwe chimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wabwino.
2. Kufufuza bwenzi lanu kumasonyeza nsanje pachibwenzi
Kuyimbirana mafoni ndi mauthenga mobwerezabwereza kuti muone ngati mnzanuyo ali bwino nthawi iliyonse mukasiyana kumatanthauza kuti mukuchita nsanje kwambiri muubwenzi. Mutha kudzipeza mukuganizira kwambiri zomwe mnzanuyo akuchita ndipo nthawi zonse mumapanga zinthu zoipa kwambiri m'mutu mwanu.
Angakhale akuchedwa chifukwa chakuti analephera kuyenda bwino pamsewu kapena msonkhano wa kuntchito unatenga nthawi yayitali. Komabe, mukutsimikiza kuti akukunyengani kapena akucheza ndi anzanu mobisa. Izi zingapangitse kuti muyambe kuchita nsanje. Pazochitika zotere, nsanje imayamba chifukwa cha kusakhulupirirana muubwenzi.
Ngati simukuwongolera, pangopita nthawi kuti mnzanuyo atope kuti azikufotokozerani nthawi zonse ndikusankha kuchokapo.
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3. Sakuloledwa kukhala ndi moyo wocheza
Ngati chiyembekezo cha mnzanuyo kuthera usiku kutali ndi inu ndi anzawo kumakupangitsani inu kukwiya ndi kusakhazikika, ndinu mopambanitsa nsanje ubwenzi wanu. Mungayese kuwaletsa kukhala ndi moyo wocheza nawo kapena kuyesa kuwachotsa ndi mkwiyo wa 'ine kapena iwo'.
Ngati palibe chomwe chikuyenda bwino, mumasankha kukhala limodzi chifukwa simungathe kupirira maganizo awo popanda inu. Mfundo yakuti mukuganiza kuti 'mungalole' kapena 'kuletsa' mnzanu kuchita china chake, imasonyeza kuti pakufunika kulamulira ubale wanu.
Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosayenera za nsanje muukwati. Nsanje imeneyi ingayambitse mavuto ambiri pakati panu.
4. Wokondedwa wanu sangalankhule ndi munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu
Inu mukudziwa bwino izo. Ngati muwona wokondedwa wanu akulankhula ndi wina yemwe amamukonda, gehena yonse imatha. Iwalani kulankhula, ngakhale atayang'ana munthu motalika kokwanira kuti muzindikire kapena kuyankhula za mnzanu kapena mnzanu, mutha kumva nsanje yochuluka mkati mwanu.
Mumawonetsetsa mwanjira iliyonse kuti sali pafupi ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo, pokhapokha ngati kuli kofunikira. Mumaona kuti mulibe chochita chifukwa simungathe kulamulira chiŵerengero cha kugonana kuntchito. Izi sizizindikiro za chikondi, izi ndizizindikiro zolamulira muubwenzi.
Chisamaliro chilichonse kwa ena chimakupangitsani kudzikayikira kuti simuli bwino kapena kuti mnzanuyo angakunyengeni kapena kukusiyirani munthu wina.
5. Kuyang'ana foni, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amasonyeza nsanje mu maubwenzi
Kodi mukuyembekezera kuti mnzanu akupatseni foni yake kuti muifufuze nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukufuna? Kapena mumayang'ana foni yake mwachinsinsi? Kodi mumasanthula zochita zawo pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti pogwiritsa ntchito chisa cha mano? Kenako pitani kukayang'ana aliyense amene wapereka ndemanga kapena wayankhapo pa zolemba zawo kapena amene mnzanu wanu walembapo?
Pochita izi motalika kokwanira, mumapeza chinthu kapena munthu wina yemwe amakusokonezani mpaka kalekale. Ngakhale palibe chifukwa chomveka choti mumve chonchi. Ndi chizindikiro tingachipeze powerenga kuti mukuchita nsanje pachibwenzi.
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6. Kuneneza zachinyengo ndi zizindikiro za nsanje pachibwenzi
Kukhala ndi nsanje pachibwenzi kwagwira malingaliro anu mpaka gawo lina la inu mumatsimikiza kuti mnzanu akukunyengani. Ukawaona akucheza ndi munthu wokongola, umaganiza kuti akugona limodzi.
Amapatsa munthu wodutsa m'njira, mumawaimba mlandu wofuna kulowa mu thalauza. Ali ndi ubale wapamtima ndi mnzako, mukutsimikiza kuti akumenya mobisa.
Ngakhale mulibe maziko ochirikiza malingalirowa, simuganiza kawiri musanamange mnzanu.
7. Mumakopana kuti mnzanuyo achite nsanje
Mumachita nsanje ndi aliyense m'moyo wa mnzanu. Mumatsimikiza kuti mukunamizidwa. Koposa zonse, mukufuna kuti azikuyang'anirani. Pachifukwa ichi, mumayamba kukopa ena , makamaka pamene mnzanuyo ali pafupi.
Izi sizimangowonjezera kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika komanso zimakwiyitsa mnzanuyo. Mwanjira ina yopotoka, mukuwapatsa kukoma kwa mankhwala anu. Kuwapangitsa kumva momwe mumamvera mukamagwidwa ndi nsanje yopitilira muyeso mu maubwenzi.
8. Nsanje m'maubwenzi imafikiranso kubanja lawo
Nsanje muubwenzi sizimangoyambitsidwa ndi abwenzi, ogwira nawo ntchito kapena akunja. Monga mnzanu wansanje, mukhoza kuyamba kunyoza banja lanu lofunika kwambiri. Ngati wokondedwa wanu ali pafupi ndi amayi awo, mwachibadwa mumayamba kuchita nawo gawo limodzi.
Ngati ali ndi mwambo wa banja wokhala pamodzi pa Thanksgiving, mungayese njira iliyonse yomwe ili m'bukuli kuti mnzanuyo asiye mwambo wapachakawu ndikukhala nanu m'malo mwake. Ngakhale mutaitanidwa, nanunso mukuitanidwe.
Zonse zimatengera kuti mukhale ndi mnzanuyo nokha. Chikondi cha banja lawo chimakhala chopinga pakuchita zimenezo.
9. Mumamupatsa mnzanu maulendo olakwa
Tiyerekeze kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi mapulani opita kuphwando ndi anzawo kumapeto kwa sabata, ndipo mwachita monyinyirika, mwavomereza. Mumadzinamizira kuiwala zonse za phwandolo, pewani kuyankhula za izo nkomwe, ndiyeno pitirizani kukonzekera nokha - ndithudi, chinachake chomwe chimakhudza mnzanuyo.
Mukuwauza kuti mwaphikira nonse awiri chakudya chambiri. Kapena kuti mwasungitsa BnB yokongola kwinakwake kumidzi kumapeto kwa sabata.
Akakukumbutsani kuti ali kale ndi mapulani, mumawapangitsa kudzimva kuti ali ndi mlandu chifukwa choika anzawo patsogolo kuposa inu. Ngati muyamba kusonyeza nsanje ngati imeneyi mutangoyamba chibwenzi, kukhala nanu nthawi yayitali kungakhale kovuta.
10. Kumenyana kosalekeza ndi chizindikiro cha nsanje muubwenzi
Inde, ndithudi, banja lililonse limakangana, limakangana komanso limakangana. Koma kukangana kosalekeza ndi mnzanu pa chilichonse chomwe amachita ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za nsanje muubwenzi.
Mumasankha ndewu chifukwa cha kapu yosungidwa pamalo olakwika, sock kumanzere, nyimbo zikuimbidwa mokweza kwambiri, mnzanuyo amasankha kuwerenga buku kapena kuwonera pulogalamu m'malo molankhula nanu. Ndewu izi sizimakhudza nkhani zopusa izi.
Chinachake chimene mnzanu wanena kapena kuchita chingakhale chomwe chinayambitsa nsanje yanu. M'malo mothetsa malingaliro oipa amenewo, mumatha kuwagwiritsa ntchito polankhula mokwiya. Izi zingapangitse mnzanuyo kumva ngati nthawi zonse akuyenda mozungulira inu.
Njira 7 Zothandiza Pothana ndi Nsanje Paubwenzi
Tsopano popeza mukudziwa zizindikiro za nsanje muubwenzi, ndipo ngati mukuzizindikira zambiri mwa izo, muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungathanirane ndi nsanje muubwenzi. Kupanda kutero, zizolowezi zoipazi zitha kuwononga ubale womwe mumagawana ndi mnzanu, zomwe zingakulitse nkhawa zanu, mantha anu komanso kudzidalira kwanu.
Nazi njira 7 zogwira mtima zothanirana ndi nsanje muubwenzi.
1. Kumvetsetsa zifukwa zochitira nsanje muubwenzi
Kusadzidalira, mantha, ndi kudziona kuti ndi zinthu zomwe zimayambitsa nsanje m'maubwenzi. Nthawi zambiri, kufooka kumeneku kumachitika chifukwa cha zomwe mudakumana nazo kale. Mwina, mwanyengedwa kale, zomwe zingayambitse mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana. Nkhani zokhudza kudalirana izi zitha kukhala chifukwa chachikulu cha nsanje yanu.
Muyenera kuyesetsa kuti mukhale olimba mtima ndi mabala anu akale.
Mukapeza kuti mukuchita nsanje pachibwenzi, khalani ozindikira kuti mwachoka m'mbuyomu ndipo tsopano muli pachibwenzi chatsopano. Wokondedwa wanu wapano si wakale wanu. Osatengera zomwe zidachitika kale komanso zamtsogolo.
2. Musalole nsanje ikuwonongeni
Nsanje yochulukirachulukira m'maubwenzi imakhazikika mukayamba kulola malingaliro anu kulamulira malingaliro anu ndi zochita zanu kuti ziwonetsere kuti zayamba kukuwonongani. Inde, kusachita mmene mukumvera kungakhale chimodzi mwa zinthu zovuta kwambiri kuchita. Koma muyenera kuyesetsa.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuchita nsanje chifukwa cha kuyanjana kwa mnzanu ndi munthu wina, dzikumbutseni kuti ndi inu amene anasankha kukhala naye. Ngati akanafuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina ameneyu, akanatero. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, dzikumbutseni kuti mnzanuyo sangakhale ndi moyo wodzipatula kuti athetse mantha anu kapena kusatetezeka kwanu.
Simuyenera kupondereza malingaliro anu koma phunzirani kulingalira nokha. Mwanjira iyi malingaliro oyipa sangakhale mphamvu yoyendetsera moyo wanu.
3. Yang'anani pa mfundo kuti musiye nsanje muubwenzi
Tiyerekeze kuti mnzanuyo anapita kokayenda ndi anzake kapena wakhala akuyendayenda kwambiri chifukwa cha ntchito, ndipo nsanje yanu ikukuuzani kuti ndi chifukwa chakuti sakufuna kukhala nanu. Koma ndiko kutanthauzira kwanu. Osati zoona.
'Njira yabwino yothetsera nsanje muubwenzi ndiyo kuyika maganizo anu pa zenizeni - zomwe mukudziwa ndi zomwe simukuzidziwa, mosiyana ndi zomwe mumakhulupirira. Izi zingakuthandizeni kusiya kupanga nkhani kuti mutseke mipata yomwe ilipo m'maganizo mwanu.
Mawu a Bob Marley onena za nsanje akufotokoza momveka bwino kuti, "Moyo ndi msewu umodzi waukulu wokhala ndi zizindikiro zambiri. Choncho pamene mukuyenda molakwika, musasokoneze maganizo anu. Thawani chidani, zoipa ndi nsanje. Osakwirira maganizo anu, ikani masomphenya anu kukhala enieni. Dzukani Ndipo Khalani ndi Moyo!"
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4. Gawani nsanje yanu ndi wokondedwa wanu
Mukamvetsetsa nsanje mu maubwenzi a psychology, kuthana nayo kumakhala kosavuta. Tsopano popeza mukudziwa zomwe zimayambitsa malingaliro oyipa awa mwa inu, athetseni polola mnzanuyo kuti alowe pazovuta zanu.
Nthawi ina mukadzachitira nsanje mnzanuyo wanena kapena kuchita, muuzeni zakukhosi kwanu. Koma popanda kutsutsa kapena kukangana. Ngati kulankhula za izi mwachindunji ndizovuta kwambiri kwa inu, mutha kuyesa kugwiritsa ntchito nthabwala kuti muchotse m'mphepete mwa mutu wovuta.
Izi zingathandize kwambiri ngati inu ndi mnzanu mudakanganapo kangapo pa chinthu chomwecho m'mbuyomu. Kapena, mungayesenso njira yandale pofotokoza zakukhosi kwanu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukumva nsanje ndi munthu winawake m'moyo wake.
Auzeni kuti ngakhale mumakhulupirira kuti sangakunyengeni, ubwenzi wawo ndi X wakhala ukukuvutitsani. Afunseni kuti aganizire malingaliro anu pankhaniyi.
5. Khalani wachifundo ndi wokondedwa wanu
Sichinthu chophweka kuchita ndi mnzanu wansanje. Kuwunika kosalekeza, kusakhulupirirana, zonenezana ndi ndewu zimatha kufika kwa aliyense. Mfundo yakuti mnzanuyo wakhala akuzungulira, ngakhale zili choncho, imanena zambiri za momwe ubalewo umatanthauza kwa iwo.
Nthawi ina mukadzagwidwa ndi nsanje, yesani kuona mmene mnzanuyo akuonera nkhaniyi. Khalani achifundo kwa iwo. Kodi mukanamva bwanji mutachita ndi mnzanu wansanje? Ngati mwakhala mukulandira mapeto a nsanje mu maubwenzi, mudzatha kugwirizana ndi malingaliro awo bwino kwambiri.
Kukumbukira mfundo imeneyi kungakuthandizeni kuti musamakalipire munthu akachita nsanje.
6. Limbitsani kukhulupirirana kuti muthetse nsanje muubwenzi
Kaya mwakhala mukukumana ndi nsanje mutangoyamba kumene chibwenzi kapena munachikulitsa kwinakwake, kukhalapo kwa malingalirowa kumachokera ku kusakhulupirirana. Mwina, mnzanuyo adachitapo kanthu kuti asakhulupirire izi. Kapena muli ndi nkhani zodalirika zakale.
Kukulitsa chidaliro mu ubale wanu ndi njira yabwino yothetsera nsanje. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu muli ndi zina zomwe sizinathe kuthetsedwa, zigwiritsireni ntchito limodzi monga gulu, kuti muzitha kukhulupirirana kotheratu. Mukhozanso kuganizira kulowa maanja mankhwala. Upangiri ndi upangiri woperekedwa ndi wothandizira yemwe ali ndi chilolezo amatha kuwongolera zoyesayesa zanu m'njira yoyenera.
Gwirani ntchito pakukula kwanu
Mukamvetsetsa zifukwa za nsanje mu maubwenzi ndi zoyambitsa zanu, yesetsani kuzichotsa. M’lingaliro limeneli, chilombo chamaso obiriŵirachi chingakhalenso mphunzitsi wamkulu. Zimakupatsani mwayi wowona mkati ndikuwunika zolephera zanu.
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7. Gwirani ntchito pakukula kwanu
Kuti muchotse vutoli, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri pakuthana ndi zofooka izi mwa kudzikuza. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muli ndi vuto lodziona ngati wopanda pake , yesetsani kulimbitsa chidaliro chanu. Mutha kulembetsa ku misonkhano, kuphunzira maluso atsopano kapena kugwira ntchito ndi mlangizi kuti musinthe momwe mumaonera nokha.
Mofananamo, ngati kuopa kudzimva nokha kumakupangitsani nsanje, kupita kunja kwambiri, kukulitsa zokonda, kugwirizana ndi anthu atsopano, kupanga mabwenzi. Kukhala ndi moyo wapawekha kumakupangitsani kuwona chifukwa chake wokondedwa wanu amafunikiranso wawo.
Anthu ambiri amasokoneza nsanje ngati chisonyezero cha chikondi ndipo amapitiriza kulola chizoloŵezi chakupha chimenechi kusokoneza maubwenzi awo.
Ndiye kodi nsanje ndi chizindikiro cha chikondi? Tiyankha funso limenelo m’mawu a Augustine Woyera, “Iye wansanje sali m’chikondi.” Nsanje ndi chikondi sizingakhalepo. Ngati mumayamikira ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo, muyenera kuphunzira kulamulira ndi kuthetsa zizolowezi zanu zansanje.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Ibibazo
Nsanje si chizindikiro cha chikondi ndi chizindikiro cha kusatetezeka. Tiyankha funso limenelo m’mawu a Augustine Woyera, “Iye wansanje sali m’chikondi.” Nsanje ndi chikondi sizingakhalepo. Ngati mumayamikira ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo, muyenera kuphunzira kulamulira ndi kuthetsa zizolowezi zanu zansanje.
Chifukwa chachikulu cha nsanje ndi kusadzidalira. Mumamva kusasangalala kuti mnzanu angakhale ndi moyo woposa inu. Ndicho chifukwa chake mumadana ndi momwe amachitira zinthu ndi amuna kapena akazi anzanu, mumakhala okakamira komanso olamulira.
Nsanje ingakhale yabwino muubwenzi ngati mungayigwiritse ntchito bwino. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu wakwezedwa pantchito, mumagwira ntchito mwakhama kuti mupezenso. Ngati amakonda diresi la mkazi paphwando ndipo amalikonda, mumamugulira chinthu chofanana ndi chimenecho ndipo mumamusangalatsa paulendo wanu.
Nsanje ndi malingaliro omwe tonsefe tili nawo ndipo sitingathe kuwapewa. Tonsefe timamva nsanje kwambiri pamene mnzathu akunena za wakale , kapena za mkazi wokongola kuntchito kapena za mwamuna amene tili naye pamtima . Koma momwe timasankhira kuthana ndi nsanje imeneyo ndiye chinthu chofunikira kwambiri.
Nsanje yoopsa imasonyeza kuti mnzanuyo alibe mphamvu pamalingaliro awo ndipo amalola kusatetezeka kwawo kutenga moyo wawo. Nsanje yoopsa ya mnzanuyo imakhala yopweteka kwa inu ndipo ikhoza kuwonongeratu ubale wanu.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
