Chibwezi Changa Anacheza Ndi Ex Wake Kuseri Kwanga, Nditani?

“Chibwenzi changa chimakambitsirana ndi wakale wake wakale kumbuyo kwanga”—kuzindikira zimenezi kudzakuchititsani kukhala wopanda chisungiko ndi nkhaŵa. Ziribe kanthu momwe mungayesere kukhala ozizira za izo kapena kudziuza nokha kuti kukhala mabwenzi ndi wakale palibe vuto lalikulu, Alamu belu amangolira basi mphindi inu kupeza bwenzi lanu wakhala akulankhula kapena mameseji wake wakale bwenzi kumbuyo kwanu. Mfundo yakuti wakhala akubisira kuyanjana kwake ndi wakale wake kwa inu kapena kuchita izo pansi pamunsi ndizoyenera kubweretsa kumverera kosautsa komwe kumakupangitsani kukhala osamasuka pa chinthu chonsecho.

Musanadziwe, malingaliro anu akubwereza nkhani zonse zomwe mumamva za zibwenzi zomwe zimabera. Zitha kukhala zovuta, timazipeza. Ndicho chifukwa chake tiri pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudutsa. Musanaganize zoipitsitsa, tayani mtima wanu, ndikumutaya nthawi yomweyo, puma. Tikudziwa kuti muli ndi mafunso ambiri m'mutu mwanu. Chifukwa chiyani bwenzi langa limalankhulabe ndi ex wake tsiku lililonse? Chibwenzi changa chimamukondabe wakale wake koma amandikondanso; zikutanthauza chiyani tsogolo la ubale wathu? Chifukwa chiyani amalankhula naye kumbuyo kwanga? Kodi ndi mbendera yofiira ngati amalankhulabe ndi wakale wake? Tabwera kudzawayankha onse.

Chifukwa Chiyani Chibwezi Changa Amalankhula Ndi Ex Wake Kuseri Kwanga?

Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa miliyoni zomwe bwenzi lanu likulankhula ndi wakale wake. Koma tikumvetsa kuti ndizosautsa komanso zokhumudwitsa kudziwa kuti amalankhulabe ndi mnzake wakale tsiku lililonse kumbuyo kwanu. Nthawi yonseyi, mwina mwakhala mukudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi changa chimabisira foni yake?” Kenako, mupeza chifukwa chake—adakali ndi chibwenzi ndi mkazi wake wakale ndipo sakufuna kuti mudziwe. 

Izi zitha kubweretsa malingaliro amtundu uliwonse, makamaka zochitika zoyipa kwambiri, chifukwa mwina simungasiye kudabwa zomwe awiriwa akukambirana padziko lapansi. Koma zowononga zonsezi zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwanu zitha kupangitsa kuti zinthu ziziwoneka ngati zoipitsitsa kuposa momwe zilili, ndipo mwina simungakhale ndi nkhawa zambiri. Zikutanthauza chiyani ngati bwenzi lanu limalankhulabe ndi ex wake? Tiyeni tione zifukwa zimene amakhalira kucheza ndi munthu amene wasiyana naye.

• Akhozabe kukhala naye pa ubwenzi wabwino
• Angakhale akusangalala kukopana kopanda vuto ndi chisamaliro china pambali, popanda kutanthauza zambiri kwa iye
• Amasunga zakale ndipo amalumikizana moona mtima chifukwa amasangalala kukhala naye. Pakhoza kukhala palibe chimene chikuchitika ndi iye
• Akhoza kumukonda koma samamukonda
• N’kutheka kuti amamukondabe kapenanso maganizo ake pa iye anayambiranso. Komabe, izi sizikutanthauza kuti adzakusiyani kuti mukhale naye
• Akhoza kuyembekezera kutseka
• Angakhale akubisira mfundo yakuti akulumikizana naye kuti akupulumutseni kusatetezeka kulikonse kosafunikira. Zolinga zake zikhoza kukhala zolondola nthawi yonseyi

Abigail Wilkey, woŵerenga wa ku Ohio anatiuza kuti: “Chibwenzi changa chimathandizabe bwenzi lake lakale m’njira imene mabwenzi amasamalirana.

Tsopano, si aliyense amene angavutike ngati mmene Abigail analili, koma kungakhale kothandiza kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire m’malo mochita mantha. Sikuti aliyense akhoza kuvomereza kwathunthu za bwenzi lawo lamphamvu ndi wakale wake. Ngati zochita zawo zimakuchititsani kudziona kuti ndinu wosatetezeka, wokwiya, kapena wankhawa, dziwani kuti palibe vuto. Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, muyenera kudzikumbutsa kuti kukhalapo kwa munthu wakale m'moyo wa bwenzi lanu sikutanthauza kuti chibwenzi chanu chiwonongeke. Kodi ndi mbendera yofiira ngati amalankhulabe ndi wakale wake? Osati nthawi zonse. 

Nthawi zina, mwina ndi bwino kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale kapena kusangalala kucheza nawo nthawi ndi nthawi. Kuti muzindikire ngati zili choncho ndi bwenzi lanu ndi wakale wake, muyenera kumvetsetsa zochitika zakale ndi zamakono. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana Chibwenzi Changa Sanachotse Nambala Ya Foni Ya Chibwenzi Chake Chakale Ndipo Ndikumva Wosatetezeka

Kodi ubale wake ndi ex wake unali bwanji?

Ili ndi funso lofunika kwambiri kuyankha, choncho musalitenge mopepuka. Musanayambe kukayikira kukhulupirika kwake kwa inu, yang'anani momwe zinthu zinathera pakati pa chibwenzi chanu ndi wakale wake. Mbiri yaying'ono ya maubwenzi ake akale idzapita kutali kuti amvetse mphamvu zake ndi iye. Yesetsani kulowa mkati mozama kuti iye ndi ndani monga munthu komanso momwe ubale wake unalili musanalowe mu chithunzicho. Sitikukupemphani kuti mukhale opusa, tikungopemphani kuti mukhale otsimikiza. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kuziganizira.

• Kodi ubale wawo unali wautali? Kuyika ndalama muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali ndikwambiri kuposa kwakanthawi kochepa. Ngati akhala pamodzi kwa nthawi yaitali, ayenera kuti anali ogwirizana kwambiri. Nthawi zina, kulumikizana kwamtunduwu kumakhala kovuta kusiya. Sikuti ndi chifukwa chodetsa nkhawa, koma chinthu chomwe muyenera kudziwa
• Kodi anali ndi ubale womwe aliyense amadziwa? Ngati mabanja adakhudzidwa, dziwani kuti ubale wawo udayenda mozama kwambiri
• Kodi anali ndi kutentha kochuluka pakati pa mapepala oterowo? Yankho la funsoli likhoza kukupatsani zambiri zomwe simunazindikire kuti mumafunikira
• Anatha bwanji? Kodi inali yotalika kapena yachangu? Funsaninso, kodi panali kutseka kokwanira kapena ayi? A kusowa kutseka mwina ndi chifukwa chachikulu chomwe angagwirizanebe
• N’chifukwa chiyani anathetsa banja? Kodi kunali kusagwirizana, kusowa chikondi, mikangano yoopsa, kapena zolinga zina za moyo? Mufunseni izi.
• Ndani anasiyana ndi ndani? Mwina ndi iye amene anathetsa chibwenzicho ndipo n’chifukwa chake chibwenzi chako chimaonabe kufunika kokambirana naye
• Kodi akukambirana chiyani? Simukusokoneza chinsinsi cha chibwenzi chanu pofunsa funso ili. Ndikwachibadwa kwa inu kudabwa zomwe amalankhula ndi wakale wake ndipo muli ndi ufulu wodziwa yankho

Zinthu 8 Zomwe Muyenera Kuchita Ngati Bwenzi Lanu Akulankhulabe Ndi Ex Wake

"Chibwenzi changa chimalankhula ndi wakale wake kumbuyo kwanga" kuzindikira kumakhala kovuta kwambiri. Ngati bwenzi lanu limalankhula ndi mwamuna wake wakale tsiku lililonse sabata iliyonse, zitha kuchititsa mantha anu komanso kusatetezeka kwanu. Lingaliro chabe la izo likhoza kukupangani misala. Koma musanayambe kuganiza mozama, ganizirani kukhala pansi ndi kuthana ndi vutolo.

Sophia, katswiri wolankhulana, anatiuza kuti, “Ndinazindikira kuti amakondabe wakale wake koma inenso ndimamukonda ndipo sindinadziwe momwe ndingathanirane ndi vutoli. Zinanditengera nthawi yayitali kuti ndizindikire kuti chibwenzi changa chikutumizirana mauthenga ndi kundiuza bodza. Koma nditatero, ndinazindikira kuti sanasinthe kwathunthu ubale wanga ndi mwamuna wanga ndipo ndiyenera kumusiya. Ndikanayenera kudziwa izi nditazindikira kuti chibwenzi changa chimalankhula kwambiri za wakale wake. Sindikanapitiriza kukhala pachibwenzi chobwerezabwereza .”

Ngati mukumva kutayika pang'ono ngati Sophia, ndiye kuti tili ndi malangizo othandiza kuti muthe kuthana ndi vuto lomwe mwamuna wanu amakumana ndi mnzake wakale. Inde, si kumverera wokondwa pamene chibwenzi chanu ndi mameseji wake wakale bwenzi koma apa pali zimene mungachite za izo.

1. Dziyeseni pang'ono

Musanakwiye n’kunena kuti, “Mnyamata wanga akulankhulabe ndi mwamuna wake wakale ndipo ndiye woipitsitsa kwambiri!”, fufuzani pang’ono. Sitikunena kuti alibe cholakwa pano, koma inu mukhoza kukhala ndi gawo pa izi. Kodi mumakonda kuchita nsanje mopambanitsa paubwenzi? Kodi pali chibwenzi chanu china chomwe chakuyitanani chibwenzi chansanje kapena china chake chotsatira? Kodi nthawi zina mumangokhalira kulimbana ndi kusatetezeka kwanu? Sikuti sakuchita cholakwika chilichonse. Tikungonena kuti ndizotheka kuti muli ndi gawo loti muchite pano.

Musanaganize zomusiya, zingakuthandizeni kuwunika bwino nkhaniyi. Mwina mukungoganizira mopitirira muyeso. Mwina wangolankhula naye kamodzi kapena kawiri ndipo mukuopa chifukwa cha zimenezo. Pankhaniyi, muyenera kuyesa kulimbitsa chikhulupiriro muubwenzi wanu m'malo modandaula kuti chibwenzi chanu chikulankhula ndi wakale wake.

2. Yang'anani machitidwe a khalidwe

Ngati zochita za chibwenzi chanu zikukusiyani osokonezeka, ndipo mumadzipeza mukuganiza kuti, "Amandiuza kuti amandikonda, ndiye chifukwa chiyani akumva kufunika kolumikizana ndi wakale wake", kumveketsa bwino momwe amachitira zinthu kungathandize. Choncho, yambani kumvetsera pafupipafupi ndi kamvekedwe ka machitidwe awo. 

Kulankhulana mwa apo ndi apo, mwaulemu sikungakhale kodetsa nkhaŵa, koma kukambitsirana mopambanitsa kapena mobisa kungasonyeze maganizo osathetsedwa. Zindikirani ngati kukambirana kwawo kukusokonezani nthawi yanu yochezera limodzi kapena kukhumudwa. Izi zikuthandizani kuti muthane ndi vutolo ndikuwona zenizeni osati mongoganizira. Ndipo ngati zochitika za mnzako ndi wakale wawo zimawoneka zobisika kapena mochulukira, ndikofunikira kuthana ndi zifukwa zazikulu ndikuganizira njira yopitira patsogolo. 

3. Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu za nkhaniyi

Ubale wabwino ndi umodzi womwe mungathe kugawana zonse momasuka ndi wokondedwa wanu. Chifukwa chake ngati bwenzi lanu lolemberana mameseji ndi wakale wake kapena kuyankhula naye kumbuyo kumakuvutitsani, muyenera kukambirana naye za izi. Muuzeni kuti, “Zimandidetsa nkhawa kuti udakali wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi moyo wa ex wako ndipo sindikumasuka nazo. Kapena munganene kuti, "Ndikudziwa kuti uwu ndi mutu wokhudza mtima kwa inu, koma kutumizirana mameseji kosalekeza kumandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wovuta. Ndikufuna ndikuuzeni momwe ndikumvera pankhaniyi. Kodi mungandimvepo kamodzi?"

Muuzeni momveka bwino momwe mukumvera chifukwa ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pakukulitsa ulemu muubwenzi . Muuzeni kuti mukuvutika ndi funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani amalankhulabe ndi wakale wake?”, ndipo muuzeni kuti akupatseni yankho loona pa funsoli. Nthawi zonse zimathandiza kukambirana maso ndi maso. Kuganiza ndi kuda nkhawa kuti akadali kulankhula ndi wakale wake sikungathandize. Muyenera kuyambitsa kukambirana ndikumupangitsa kuzindikira momwe izi zikukukhumudwitsirani. Yesetsani kumupangitsa kuti aziona zonse momwe mukuonera, popanda mlandu uliwonse. Kumbukirani, vuto lokhalo ndilakuti amalankhula ndi wakale wake, choncho pewani kulumikiza mavuto ena aubwenzi ndikuyang'ana kwambiri pa nkhaniyi. N'zotheka kuti akadziwa momwe izi zikukukhudzirani, angaganize kuti sizoyenera ndipo angasiye kulankhula ndi wakale wake.

4. Onani mmene amayankhira mutamufunsa ngati akulankhulabe ndi ex

Mutu wa exes ukhoza kukhala wokhudza mtima kwambiri. Kwa ena, kufotokoza kusatetezeka kwanu kumatha kuthetsa zinthu ndikuchepetsa nkhawa zanu. Koma chofunika kwambiri ndi kuona mmene akuyankhira. Wokondedwa wanu wachifundo sangachotse nkhawa yanu. Iye adzamvetsera ndi kuthetsa nkhani zimenezo. Muyenera kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi iye komanso kusewera mosamala kwambiri.

Ngati akukunyozani popanda kuganiziranso, izi zitha kukhala chizindikiro chachikulu cha ubale wanu chomwe chikusonyeza kuti muyenera kuganiziranso za kukhala naye pachibwenzi. Koma ngati akuyesera kukufotokozerani zinthu, akufuna kukufotokozerani bwino, ndikutsimikizira kuti simukudzimva kuti ndinu wosatetezeka ndiye kuti mwina alibe vuto ndi wakale wake.

5. Kambiranani za ubale wanu

Ngati chibwenzi chikuyenda movutikira, zitha kukhala chifukwa chake bwenzi lanu limalankhulabe ndi wakale wake. Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti ex si nkhawa yanu, koma ubale wanu ndi womwewo. Mwina ndi nthawi yoganizira mavuto onse a ubale omwe mwakhala mukusesa pansi pa kapeti nthawi yonseyi ndikukhala ndi zokambirana zovuta.

Akuoneka kuti akufunafuna ubale wamaganizo kwinakwake pamene inu nonse mukulekana . Lero ndi lawi lake lakale, mawa akhoza kukhala wina. M'malo momutcha kuti wachinyengo kapena kuganiza kuti, "Chibwenzi changa chikutumizirana mameseji ndi chibwenzi chake chakale ndikundinamiza nthawi zonse", ganizirani chifukwa chake inu nonse mukulekana poyamba ndikupeza njira yothetsera vutoli.

6. Khulupirirani chidziwitso chanu, osati kusatetezeka kwanu

Pali kusiyana pakati pa malingaliro abwino a m'matumbo ndi nsanje yopanda maziko. Ngati china chake sichikumveka bwino, ndi bwino kufufuza. Komabe, musalole kuti kusadzidalira kwanu kulamule mmene mumaonera zinthu. Ngati simukutsimikiza ngati nkhawa zanu zili zolondola, lingalirani kuyankhula ndi mnzanu wodalirika kapena phungu kuti akuthandizeni. Izi zitha kukuthandizani kuti mulekanitse chidziwitso ndi kusatetezeka ndikuyandikira zomwe zikuchitika momveka bwino.

7. Musamupatse chigamulo

Mukafunsidwa ngati, "Chibwenzi changa chimamukondabe wakale wake koma amandikondanso; ndichite chiyani?" kapena "Amandiuza kuti amandikonda, ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani akadali ogwirizana kwambiri ndi wakale wake?", Kulemera m'maganizo mwanu, zingakhale zovuta kuti musachitepo kanthu kuchokera kumalo okhudzidwa ndi maganizo. Komabe, chilichonse chomwe mungachite, popanda vuto lililonse, ngati mungamupatse chigamulo chokhudza izi. 

Kunena zinthu monga, “Sudzalankhulanso naye” kapena “Uyenera kusankha—ine kapena iye?”, kungawononge kwambiri kuposa ubwino. Kwa iye, zingawoneke ngati zolamulira ndipo angayambe kumva kuti watopa muubwenziwo kapena kuyesa kukubisirani zinthu zambiri kuti musunge mtendere. M'malo mwake, monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, yesani kulankhula momasuka za nkhani yonse. Gwiritsani ntchito mawu odekha, ndi mawu okoma mtima ndikumuuza momwe mukumvera. Imeneyo mwina ndiyo njira yabwino yothetsera vutoli mwachindunji. Mkwiyo wanu sudzapindulitsa chilichonse choncho musiye kaye kwakanthawi.

8. Muziyesetsa kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu

M'malo mongoganizira zakale kapena kugwirizana kwake ndi wakale wake, perekani mphamvu zanu kukulitsa kulumikizana kwanu. Pamene onse awiri akumva kuti ndi ofunika komanso otetezeka, maubwenzi akale amakhala ochepa. Konzani zochita zomwe zimakufikitsani pafupi, monga kuthawa kumapeto kwa sabata kapena kuyesa limodzi zosangalatsa zatsopano. Zokumana nazo zogawana izi zitha kulimbitsa ubale wanu ndikusintha chidwi chanu paubwenzi wanu. Kumanga ubwenzi ndi chidaliro mu ubale wanu wapano ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yopangira zakale kukhala zosafunikira. 

Maganizo Final

Ngakhale mutapeza kuti chibwenzi chanu chikuyankhulabe ndi wakale wake, yesani kukhala wofatsa naye. Musafulumire kuganiza molakwika chifukwa zimenezo zingamupangitse kuti akusiyeni . Ingotsatirani malangizo athu ndipo yandikirani kupeza chowonadi. Ndipo ngati simukumasuka naye ngakhale mutafotokoza zonse, simuli omasuka kulankhula ndi wakale wake, palibe vuto. Simuli woyera mtima ndipo akazi ambiri amaona kuti izi sizikusangalatsani. Muuzeni poyera ndipo muwone momwe angayankhire.

Magawo a 12 a Kukula kwa Ubale - Kufotokozera

15 Zizindikiro Adzaswa Mtima Wanu

Ndidikire Kapena Ndimulembe Mameseji Kaye? RULEBOOK Yotumizirana Mameseji Atsikana

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

Gawani Ndemanga

Ndemanga zanu ndi zotani?

×

zothandiza Nenani Cholakwika Zina

kugonjera