Zifukwa 9 Zomwe Mumaganizirabe Za Ex Anu

Kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakhale kovutitsa kwambiri; likhoza kukudzazani ndi kudzikayikira, mkwiyo, chisoni, ndipo nthaŵi zina ngakhale chisoni. Kusokonezeka maganizo kungadzutse mafunso osawerengeka m'maganizo mwanu omwe angakhalepobe ngakhale mutasamukira ku ubale wabwino kuposa wotsiriza. Limodzi mwa mafunso amenewa ndi lakuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga ndikakhala ndi wina watsopano?”

Kudabwa za wakale wanu, mobwerezabwereza, si zachilendo chifukwa ndi chibadwa cha munthu kuyerekeza zakale ndi zamakono. Kusiya ubale wakale sikophweka. Tiyeni tiyike mitu yathu kuti tilingalire pazifukwa zomwe mungapitirire kubwereranso kwa wakale wanu (mwachiyembekezo, m'malingaliro anu okha).

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Pamene Marie anadzigwira yekha kulingalira za mkazi wake wakale kwa ola limodzi labwino, iye anachita mantha. Anali pachibwenzi chatsopano ndipo mnyamatayo anali wabwino kwambiri, ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani ankaganizira zam'mbuyo? Malingaliro ngati malingaliro osathetsedwa ndi bizinesi yosamalizidwa adayamba kumuvutitsa. Anaimbira foni bwenzi lake lapamtima, Tiana, nthawi yomweyo, yemwe anamuthandiza kukhazika mtima pansi. Tiana anafotokoza kuti kuganiza za munthu wakale n'kwachibadwa ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti amamukondabe kwambiri mwamuna wake wakale.

Anthu ndi chizolowezi. Ubongo wathu umakonda kutsatira chizolowezi, timapita njira yomweyo kunyumba kuchokera kuntchito, timadya masangweji mwanjira yomweyo (m'mphepete choyamba kenako pakati pake), ndipo timavala zovala zogona zomwezo usiku uliwonse, osanyalanyaza mfundo yakuti zikupempha kuti zitayidwe. Izi ndi zomwezo pa chizolowezi chomwe tidapanga muubwenzi wakale.

Ndibwino kuti muzikumbukira zinthu zina pamene mukuchita zinthu ndi bwenzi lanu latsopano zimene munkachita ndi wakale wanu wakale. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simunapeze kutsekedwa, ndi momwe ubongo wanu umagwiritsidwira ntchito. Koma ngati izi zikukuchitikirani pafupipafupi, muyenera kudziwa chifukwa chake izi zikuchitika.

Zifukwa 9 Zomwe Mumaganizirabe Za Ex Anu

Kukhala mu nthawi yosatha ya masiku abwino akale, osatha kuchotsa zokumbukira ndi wakale wanu, kungakwiyitseni kwambiri mpaka kufika podzifunsa mokwiya kuti, "Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zomwe ndazikumbukira kalekale zomwe zimandibwerera m'mutu mwanga? N'chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga patatha zaka 10?" (Inde, wakale wanu angapitirize kukuvutitsani ngakhale patatha zaka 10!) Maganizo anu pa wakale wanu akhoza kukhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe mungaganizire, pazifukwa chikwi zomwe simunaganizirepo. Tiyeni tikambirane za nkhaniyo kuti tikuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kuganizira za wakale wanu.

1. X-factor mu ex wanu

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukondana ndi wakale wanu chingakhale zinthu zazing'ono zomwe munkasangalala nazo kwambiri muubwenzi wanu wakale koma zomwe sizikupezeka muubwenzi wanu wapano. Zingakhale kugwirizana, chitonthozo, chikondi, mgwirizano pakati pa anthu awiri , kapena china chilichonse! Chifukwa chakuti mudakumanapo ndi ubale wolimba umenewo kale, mukupitiriza kuulakalaka.

Mmodzi mwa anzanga okondedwa, Liz, wakhala paubwenzi wodabwitsa kwa zaka 2 zapitazi. Ngakhale kuti amayamikira chilichonse chimene wapeza chifukwa chokondana ndi Sam, amapitirizabe kuchita zimene anali nazo poyamba. Nthaŵi ina titatuluka usiku, iye anaulula kuti: “Ndimaganizirabe za mwamuna wanga wakale koma ndili ndi chibwenzi. Mukuona mfundo yanga apa? Mutha kukhala ndi chilichonse chomwe mumalakalaka muubwenzi wanu, koma pangakhale chinthu chimodzi chomwe chingakupangitseni kulakalaka zochulukira (ndipo nthawi zonse ndi chinthu chomwe chinali gawo labwino kwambiri pa ubale wanu wolephera ndi wakale wanu).

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2. Mukuwatsatirabe

Tikamanena kuti mukuwatsatira, sitikutanthauza kutsata wakale wanu mwakuthupi. Kutsatira wakale wanu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kuti muzimuyang'anira kudzakupangitsani kuganizira za iye m'njira zambiri. Ngati ndinu munthu amene mumafunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga patatha zaka 10?", yankho lili mu Instagram yanu. Simunawachotse kwathunthu m'moyo wanu. Mudakali mboni ya kukhalapo kwawo ndi zomwe adakumana nazo pamoyo wawo ndipo mosadziwa mukuwaitana kuti alowe m'maganizo mwanu.

Kusunga cheke nthawi zonse kwa wakale wanu kungakupwetekeni kwambiri kuposa zabwino. Zingakupangitseni kulira, makamaka mukamawona akuyenda mutatha kupatukana. Maanja omwe amasiyana motsatira chinyengo choyipa amakhala okhumudwa komanso kuchita nsanje powona wakale wawo akulowa muubwenzi watsopano. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, kusunga ubale wanu wakale ndi iwo osasunthika kudzera pawailesi yakanema kungakhale chimodzi mwazifukwa zolimba zomwe mukuloleza malo anu akale m'malingaliro anu.

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3. Mumasowa munthu amene munali naye pakampani ya ex wanu

Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadabwa kuti: n’chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga? Ndikuuzeni, si wakale wanu amene mumamusowa; mumasowa munthu amene munali naye pachibwenzi chanu chakale. Ndi zoona kuti ubale uliwonse ndi mnzanu aliyense ndi wosiyana; momwemonso, timakhala osiyana ndi ife tokha pakati pa anthu osiyanasiyana. Mumasowa "mwini" wanu kuchokera pachibwenzi chakale kuposa mnzanu wakale.

Mutha kukhala osasamala komanso opusa muubwenzi wanu wakale, pomwe tsopano mutha kukhala okondana komanso omvetsetsana. Mnzanga wina, Jane, nayenso anapezeka kuti ali mumkhalidwe wofananawo ndipo anali wosamala mokwanira kuti azindikire chimene chinayambitsa. Atalephera kudziletsa kuti abwerere ku maganizo a moto wake wakale nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, analingalira kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kugonjetsa wakale wanga?

4. Simunatsekedwe pambuyo pakutha

“Kusiyana kwanga kwadzidzidzi kunandikhudza mtima kwambiri ngati kuti ndangoyamba kulira.” Iye sanavutike kufotokoza chimene chinalakwika… tikanathetsa vutolo limodzi,” akutero Ruth, yemwe ndi mnansi wanga. Kumva kutayika kwanthawi yayitali, kuwawa, ndi kukwiya zimawonekera m'mawu ake. “Ndipo tsopano…,” anapitiriza, “Ndili ndi chibwenzi koma n’chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga tsiku lililonse?” Izi ndi zomwe kusatseka kumachita kwa inu. Ubongo wanu umapwetekedwa mtima ndi kusokonezeka kwadzidzidzi kwamaganizo ndipo umafuna kufotokozera chifukwa chakutha kwanu pokubwezerani kukumbukira zakale. Mukuganiziranso zam'mbuyomu chifukwa ubongo wanu walemedwa ndi zifukwa ndi chiyani.

Ngati simunakhale ndi chibwenzi mutasiya chibwenzi , mudzapeza kuti njira yosiya chibwenzi chanu ndi yovuta kwambiri. Popanda kuthetsa chilichonse, kusinthaku kungaoneke kosavomerezeka ngakhale patatha zaka 10. Ndipo, mungadzipezenso muvuto: n’chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za chibwenzi changa patatha zaka 10? Kusowa chibwenzi ndi komwe sikungakulole kuti muiwale chibwenzi chanu.

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5. Muli ndi zokumbukira zabwino zomwe mungabwerere

Tikumvetsa kuti ubale wanu wakale sunali wosangalatsa chifukwa siukanatha . Chomwe chimamvekanso ndi chakuti inu nonse awiri mwapanga zokumbukira zabwino limodzi, zokumbukira zomwe zimakhalabe pafupi ndi mtima wanu, zomwe zimakuphimbani mu chikondi chawo ndikukupatsani agulugufe m'mimba mwanu. Chifukwa cha nthawi zapaderazi zomwe mumakhala limodzi, mumakumbukiranso zakale, kenako, dzifunseni kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga tsiku lililonse?"

Zitha kukhala zochitika zazing'ono zomwe zakwaniritsidwa limodzi, zochitika zachikondwerero, magawo okoma a ubale, zopinga zing'onozing'ono zomwe mumakumana nazo, kapena kukumbukira zina zilizonse zapadera zomwe zimasunga wakale wanu watsopano komanso wamoyo m'malingaliro anu. Ndikwachibadwa kubwerezanso nthaŵi zapaderazo; zikumbukiro zabwino zimayenera kusungidwa kwamuyaya ndipo wakale wanu akhoza kukhala gawo labwino la kukumbukira kwanu.

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6. Kudzipeputsa 

Mumawononga kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika nthawi zonse, mumadzikayikira. Mumafunafuna malo obisalamo ndikubwerera ku nthawi zabwino zomwe mudakumana nazo muubwenzi wanu. "Ndapeza mnzanga amene amandikonda koma n'chifukwa chiyani ndikuganizirabe za wakale wanga?", akufunsa Tania. Iye akuvomereza momwe adavutikira ndi kudziona ngati wosafunika pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwake, akudziona ngati iyeyo ndiye chifukwa chake. Poopa kuyambitsa chibwenzi chatsopano , poopa kuti angabwererenso kumtima, anapitirizabe kusunga nthawi yomwe adakhala ndi wakale wake.

Posautsika ndi zomwe zidakuchitikirani m'mbuyomu, chidaliro chanu chimakhazikika ndipo mumaganiza zopangana ndi wakale wanu. Mukuganiza kuti muli ndi bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe munthu angakhale nalo, ndipo udindo wowataya uli pa inu, kotero mumayesetsa kukonza njira ndikukonza ubalewo. 

7. Mumafanizitsa zamasiku ano ndi zakale

Kudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za ex wanga ngakhale kuti ndamuthera?” Chimodzi mwazifukwa chingakhale chakuti mukusunga wakale wanu ngati njira yoyezera mnzanuyo. Ngakhale kuti munasamuka mutasiyana, simunathe kuwathetsa. Mumawayang'anabe kupyolera mu magalasi a rozi-tinted, mobisa ndikukhumba kuti mnzanuyo agwirizane ndi miyezo yokhazikitsidwa ndi wakale wanu. Kuyerekezerako kumakhala koonekera kwambiri pamene simukuvomereza chinachake mwa mnzanu wamakono.

Mnzanu akakusekani nthabwala zomwe simukuziona zoseketsa ndipo nthawi yomweyo mumakumbukira za wakale wanu yemwe nthabwala zake zinkagwirizana kwambiri ndi zanu. Yankho la funso lanu lili m'malingaliro anu kuti zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera kwa mnzanuyo zimadalira zomwe mudakumana nazo muubwenzi wanu wakale. Pankhani ya ubale wobwerera m'mbuyo , miyezo yakale nthawi zambiri imabwerezedwanso, zomwe zimakupangitsani kuganizira za ubale wanu wakale mobwerezabwereza.

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8. Mukuvomerezabe chowonadi chowawa

Kusudzulana n'kovuta kwambiri kuvomereza, osatinso kuthetsa. Kuvomereza kuti zonse zatha n'kovutitsa komanso kopweteka koma sizikutanthauza kuti sizingakhale zoona. Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe simungamuchotsere wokondedwa wanu wakale ndichakuti simunavomereze kuti chibwenzi chanu chatha. Mitima yanu yosalakwa ikuyimba nyimbo yokoma chifukwa cha mkangano waukulu.

Simunakonzekere kuvomereza kutha kwa chibwenzicho ndipo mudakali ndi chiyembekezo choti mutha kukonza zinthu. Kusweka kwadzidzidzi kuli ngati piritsi yowawa: simudziwa momwe imawawa pokhapokha mutalawa, ndipo mukangotero, zikuwoneka kuti sizingatheke kumeza. Kukhala mukukana sikukupatsani yankho ndipo kumakupatsani mwayi wolumikizana ndi wakale wanu. 

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9. Kusudzulana kwanu kwasintha kwambiri

Kusweka kwanu kwapangitsa kuti zinthu zisinthe kwambiri zomwe zasiya chidwi kwa inu. Ndi mphindi yochepa chabe kwa inu. Moyo wanu sudzakhalanso chimodzimodzi. Osachepera kwakanthawi, sipadzakhala zolankhula zachipongwe, zokambirana zapakati pausiku, palibe masiku ochezera, ndipo palibe amene angatchule mnzake. Koma monga amanenera, zizolowezi zakale zimafa movutikira. Ndi pafupi ndi zosatheka kuti muganizire moyo wanu popanda chizolowezi chozungulira ubale wanu. Ndiye ngati mukudabwa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga ngakhale kuti ndamupitirira?", Izi zikhoza kukhala chifukwa.

Ngakhale mukamayesa kukhazikika muubwenzi watsopano , machitidwe akale amakuvutitsani. Mwadzidzidzi mumatengera machitidwe omwe adakhazikitsidwa ndiubwenzi wanu wakale ndipo mumasiyidwanso kuganizira funso losafunikira, "Chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kuiwala chibwenzi changa chakale?" Komabe, ziyenera kuvomerezedwa kuti zonsezi ndi zachilengedwe; ndi zachibadwa kuti maganizo a munthu afunefune chitonthozo m'zozolowereka komanso zosangalatsa.

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Chikondi chili ngati mankhwala. Zimakupatsani mwayi wapamwamba, zimakusiyani kulakalaka kwambiri. Koma koposa zonse. zimakupangitsani kukhala wokokedwa. Chotero, n’zosadabwitsa kuti mumaganizira za wakale wanu wakale, amene, ngakhale kwa kanthaŵi kochepa, anakupangitsani kumva kuti mumakondedwa. Ndipo monga kumwerekera kulikonse, chinthu choyamba kuchita ndikuvomereza kuti pali vuto. Mukatero, malangizo otsatirawa amomwe mungasiyire kuganiza za wakale wanu angakuthandizeni paulendo wanu wamachiritso.

1. Dulani maubwenzi onse ndi wakale wanu

Iyi ndi njira yoyamba komanso yofunika kwambiri pakuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wakale ndikusiya chibwenzicho mopanda chidwi. Ndikhulupirireni, lamulo loti musalumikizane limagwira ntchito . Ngati mumalankhulana ndi munthu wakale wanu, mumalankhulana naye pafupipafupi, kapena mumatumizirana mameseji nthawi zambiri, ndiye kuti nthawi yoti musiye. Kukhala ndi munthu wakale wanu m'moyo wanu pamene simunathetse chibwenzicho n'kopweteka. Mumaganizirabe zomwe zikanatha komanso maloto ndi zokhumba zomwe zinatha pamodzi ndi chibwenzicho.

Ngakhale pamene mukuganiza kuti ndinu kwathunthu pa iwo kapena kupeza nokha kunena chinachake motsatira mizere ya “Ine ndinali ndi maloto ndipo tsopano ine ndikuganiza za wakale wanga mwadzidzidzi, ndiroleni ine mwamsanga kuona zimene iwo kwa”, musachite izo. Mumadziwa kuti mwasuntha pamene mwakhala osaganizira munthu. Mpaka nthawi imeneyo, sungani ex wanu m'moyo wanu, weniweni komanso weniweni.

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2. Chotsani zinthu zogawana ndi zikumbutso

Ngati mukufuna kuiwala munthu amene munali kumukonda kale, muyenera kuchotsa zinthu zambiri. Tengani chikwama cha zinyalala, ndikuyamba kutaya zinthu zonse zomwe zimakukumbutsani za wakale wanu. Mwala umene munatola pagombe, chidole chofewa chomwe anakupezerani, chogwirira maloto chomwe anakupangirani, tayani zonse, kapena gulitsani (ndalama zochepa kuchokera ku malonda a pabwalo sizimapweteka aliyense).

Lingaliro ndikuti musasunge chilichonse chomwe chimakukumbutsani zinthu zabwino kwambiri za wakale wanu kapena nthawi yomwe mudakhala nawo. Malingaliro awa adzayambitsa zikumbukiro zowawa. Ndipo simudziwa momwe achire "osawoneka komanso osaganizira" angakhale.

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3. Sinthani chizolowezi chanu

"Kudya sushi kumandipangitsa kuganizira za wakale wanga." Pitani ku bar ya sushi yomwe ilibe mavoti abwino kwambiri komanso kudya kwambiri. Kukhumudwa kwa m'mimba kumatsimikizira kuti mumaganizira za kutsekula m'mimba osati wakale wanu mukakhala ndi sushi. Chabwino mwina izi ndizovuta kwambiri, koma mukumvetsa mfundo.

Lingaliro ndi kupanga zokumbukira zatsopano ndikusintha zakale. Chifukwa chake munkayenda limodzi m'mphepete mwa nyanja. Tsopano yambani kuthamanga pansi kuti zikuthandizeni kukhalabe ndi thanzi labwino komanso kudzisokoneza mukaganizira za wakale wanu. Njira yabwino yosonyezeranso zokhumudwitsa zonse zomwe mwakhala nazo.

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4. Dzikumbutseni chifukwa chake munasudzulana

Palibe kukana kuti kutha kwa ubale kumakhala kowawa. Munagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu ndi khama lanu muubwenzi, mukuganiza kuti munthu uyu ndiye woyenera inu ndipo ubalewu udzakhalapo kwamuyaya. Ndipo zingakhale zokhumudwitsa kuganizira zonse zomwe mudakumana nazo ndi nsembe zomwe mudapereka pachabe. Zoona zake n'zakuti maubwenzi ena kapena maukwati sangapulumutsidwe . Mwina ubalewu unagundana kwambiri, kapena mwina sunali ndi maziko olimba, poyamba. Kaya chifukwa chake chinali chiyani, ubalewo unatha pachifukwa china.

M’kupita kwa nthawi, mungaiwale zowawa zonsezo ndipo mumatsala ndi kukumbukira zinthu zabwino kwambiri zokhudza ubwenzi wanu. Choncho, kuganiza za munthu wakale ndi zachilendo muzochitika zoterezi. Koma m’pofunikanso kukumbukira chifukwa chimene munasudzulana poyamba ndipo ngati chinali chinachake chimene mukanachisunga, simukanakhala kuno. Kuvomereza ndiye chinsinsi.

5. Funsani thandizo kwa katswiri

Maganizo a munthu wakale amabuka nthawi ndi nthawi. Ndi zachibadwa. Komabe, ngati maganizo anu okhudza chikondi chanu chakale akukuvutitsani kwambiri moti akukhudza ubale wanu wapano kapena kuthekera kwa ubale wamtsogolo, kaya ndi ubale wobwerera m'mbuyo kapena wovuta, mwina ndi nthawi yopempha thandizo kwa katswiri.

Ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto pamene mukuyesera kusiya chibwenzi, ndikhulupirireni kuti simuli nokha. Anthu omwe amafunafuna thandizo pazochitika zotere nthawi zambiri amatha kuchoka mu chizolowezi chamaganizo ichi ndikubwezeretsanso thanzi labwino. Alangizi a Bonobology athandiza anthu ambiri kukhala ndi moyo wabwino kudzera mu uphungu wa pa intaneti ndipo mutha kuugwiritsanso ntchito pano.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Tsopano popeza muli ndi yankho la funso lanu, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe za wakale wanga?", Muyenera kuti munawona momwe malingaliro anu ndi mtima wanu zimagwirira ntchito mosiyana. Pazifukwa zomwe zili pamwambazi ndi ziti zomwe zikukulepheretsani kuthana ndi wakale wanu? Ngakhale zitha kukhala chilichonse chomwe chimayambitsa zikumbukiro zakale, choyenera kuzindikira apa ndikukhudzidwa kwake ndi ubale wanu wapano.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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