Ngakhale kuti n’zoopsa bwanji, mnzanu amene akumaliza nyengo yomaliza ya Nine Perfect Strangers pamene inu munali mudakali kuntchito sizikutanthauza kuti ndinu wozembera pachibwenzi. Mutha kukwiya kwambiri moti mukufuna kumuponyera remote, koma musachite cholakwika chilichonse. Izi zikutanthauza kuti sanakupatseni chosokoneza. Ngati anatero, ndiye kuti pitani mumzinda, ndipo muponye chilichonse chomwe mungapeze.
Koma ngati muli ndi lingaliro lakuti chinachake, chinachake chowopsya chikuchitika mu ubale wanu, ingakhale nthawi yoyang'anitsitsa zomwe zikukupangitsani kumva chonchi. Mwinamwake mwatenga zizolowezi zawo zatsopano ndi makhalidwe omwe akukuuzani kuti zinthu sizili zofanana.
Izi zitha kukhala chilichonse kuyambira kukukumbatirani mozizira akabwera kunyumba kuchokera kuntchito, kukhala oteteza kwambiri foni yawo, kapena kusokonezedwa nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukuyesera kudyera limodzi—kodi mukuwona zizindikiro izi za mnzanu wozembera? Tiyeni tikambirane zimene kukhala wozembera pachibwenzi kumatanthauza ndi zizindikiro zake.
Kodi Kukhala Wozembera Muubwenzi Kumatanthauza Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ricky anali atakhala ndi mnzake, Angela. Atatuluka kwa zaka zinayi, anali atazolowera bwino zizindikiro za thupi lake . Anali kumudziwa bwino kwambiri moti ankadziwa kuti ankaluma mlomo wake wapansi nthawi iliyonse akamanena bodza. Akamachita bodza ndi anthu ena, Ricky ankaganiza kuti ndi lokongola ndipo sanapeze chifukwa cholinenera.
Koma tsiku lina linafika pamene anaona kuti mkaziyo wakhala akuluma milomo nthawi zonse pamene amamufunsa za kumene anali. Apa ndipamene chinasiya kukhala chokongola, ndipo Ricky anayamba kuda nkhawa kuti pali chinachake choopsa kwambiri chomwe chikuchitika.
Ricky anali kukumana ndi zomwe kukhala wozembera pachibwenzi kumatanthauza - kuti munthu m'modzi sakhala wowona mtima kapena wotsogola ndi mnzake. Mwina, mwachiwonekere ali ndi chinachake chachikulu chobisala kapena akukutetezani ku chowonadi china chomwe chingakusokonezeni. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, kuchita mozembera muubwenzi kungapangitse onse awiri kukhala osamasuka komanso oda nkhawa.
Kumbali ina, mnzawo akugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu zake zonse kuchita mantha kubisa chinsinsi. Kumbali ina, mnzakeyo amatha kunena kuti china chake chatsekedwa, ndipo amasokonezedwa nacho koma sadziwa momwe angachitire nacho.
Zitsanzo za kukhala mozembera muubwenzi zikuphatikizapo zinthu monga pamene mnzanuyo freaked pamene mugwira foni yawo, kapena pamene akutuluka m'chipinda kukatenga foni. Ndi pamene simudziwa yemwe mnzanuyo amathera nthawi yake yonse, kapena pamene samakuuzani zambiri za kumene akupita. Ndipamene umangomva ngati akubisa zinazake, ndipo amakhala obisa moyo wawo kuposa kale.
Kaya vuto lanu ndi lotani, chinthu chimodzi ndi chotsimikizika: Zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi zimapangitsa aliyense kukhala ndi nkhawa ndi ubale wawo. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti zomwe mukukumana nazo ndi zizindikiro za munthu wachinyengo osati kungoganizira mopitirira muyeso, tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kumatanthauza Chiyani Munthu Akakunyalanyazani?
Zizindikiro 7 Zosonyeza Kuti Bwenzi Lanu Ndi Wozembera
Ngati pali kusintha kwadzidzidzi komanso koonekeratu m'makhalidwe kapena momwe mnzanuyo akumvera, muli ndi chifukwa chowerengera mndandanda womwe uli pansipa womwe ungakuuzeni zambiri za machitidwe obisika muubwenzi. Ngakhale zitakhala zochepa chifukwa chakuti sakukutumizirani ma emoji omwewo monga momwe ankachitira kale m'mauthenga awo okopa kapena ngati pali vuto linalake lomwe likukuvutitsani, sizikupweteka kufufuzanso kawiri.
Kupatula apo, ngati simukuwongolera zomwe zikuchitika, ndiye kuti mungolola kuti nkhawa za ubale wanu zikulepheretseni. Nthawi zonse wokondedwa wanu akatuluka, chikhalidwe chawo chachinsinsi chidzakupangitsani kukayikira zonse zomwe akunena, zomwe zidzayambitsa kukhulupilira.
Komanso, pamene inu mukudziwa zizindikiro za kukhala mozembera pachibwenzi ndi, inu mukhoza kungozindikira kuti kwenikweni mulibe chodetsa nkhawa ndipo palibe fishy zikuchitika. Komabe, kuti mufike pamlingo wotere, muyenera kudziwa zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana.
Ndipo ndipamene timalowa. Sitingathe kuika pambali nkhawa zanu zonse koma tikhoza kukuuzani ngati pali chinachake chimene muyenera kuvutitsidwa nacho kapena ayi. Chifukwa chake ngati mukudabwa chomwe chimapangitsa munthu kukhala wozembera, mwafika pamalo oyenera. Werengani kuti mudziwe.
1. Kusazindikira ndi chimodzi mwazochita za munthu wachinyengo
“Sindikukumbukira kuti unandiuza za zimenezo”, “Kodi sukupanga nkhani yaikulu ndi izi?” kapena “Sindinkadziwa kuti zimenezo zingakukhudzeni kwambiri”. Izi nthawi zambiri zimamveka mawu onyoza muubwenzi . Ngati mukugwirizana ndi mawu awa, ndipo mukuda nkhawa, ndiye kuti muyenera kudziwa momwe mungachitire ndi munthu wopusa chifukwa muli ndi wina m'manja mwanu.
Ngati achita zinthu mopanda nzeru, amadziwa kuti akhoza kuthawa chifukwa mwina mudzazichotsa ndikupitirira. Pamene Amanda anakokera Connor m’chipinda china paphwando kuti amufunse zimene anali kunena pamene anali kucheza ndi mtsikana wina kukhitchini, Connor mosapita m’mbali ananena kuti, “Ha, sindikukumbukira n’komwe.”
Ndi kuyesa kuyesa kuthawa, ngakhale mukudziwa kuti china chake chomwe achita chingakukwiyitseni. Adzachepetsa kufunika kwa vutolo ndikukufunsani kuti muganizirenso zomwe mwachita. Khalidwe limeneli ndi lodziwika bwino pakati pa makhalidwe a munthu wachinyengo, musatengere izi mopepuka.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Pamene Mkazi Akumva Kuti Sakukondedwa Mu Ubwenzi | Zoyenera Kuchita
2. Kuteteza zida mopambanitsa ndikofanana ndi kuchita mozembera pachibwenzi
Mwinamwake mudatumizira mnzanuyo meseji ali kutali, kuti, "Eya! Laputopu yanga yangomwalira ndipo sindikupeza chojambulira changa. Ndiyenera kutumiza imelo mwachangu kuti ndidumphire pakompyuta yanu?" Tsopano ngati akusonyeza mikhalidwe ya munthu wachinyengo, yankho lawo lofulumira lidzakhala lakuti, “Pepani, koma mudikira.
Ndipo pamenepo ndi pomwe nkhani yanu yosatha ya "zomwe mnzanga akubisa pakompyuta kwa ine" imayambira. Mwina muli kale ndi nkhawa kuti akubera pa intaneti . Ngati izi sizikukukwanirani, sitikudziwa zomwe zidzachitike. Kutuluka m'chipinda chogona kuti muyankhe mafoni usiku kwambiri, osakulolani kukhudza foni yawo, ndi zina zotero, zonsezi ndi zizindikiro zomwe muyenera kusamala nazo.
Makhalidwe a foni yoterewa amawonekera makamaka ngati sakanasamala za foni yawo m'mbuyomu. M'mbuyomu, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito foni ya mnzanu kuti muwongolere, koma tsopano, nthawi zonse amati batire yatha. Zida zomwe sizinatsekedwe kale tsopano zimafunikira mawu achinsinsi amphamvu kwambiri kuti zitsegule.
Pamene chibwenzi chanu ndi mobisa, kusintha koyamba inu mukuona ndi mmene kwambiri iye tsopano amasunga foni yake ndi iye. Sadzakulolani kuyimba foni ndi foni yake, ndipo kugwiritsa ntchito foni yake kujambula mwachangu kungamusiye thukuta. Ndiye ngati munadzifunsapo kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndikuona ngati bwenzi langa likuchita chinyengo?” ndipo ngati foni yake ilibe malire kwa inu, muli ndi chodetsa nkhawa.
3. Samalani ndi zolankhula za thupi kuti mumvetse zomwe zimapangitsa munthu kukhala mozembera
Ngati mukudabwa chomwe chimapangitsa munthu kukhala wozembera, ndiye tcherani khutu ku zizindikiro za thupi lawo kuti mumvetse zomwe zikuchitika ndi iwo. Kugwedezeka kwambiri? Tikiti? Kuchita chibwibwi akamalankhula kapena kudumpha miyendo yawo kwambiri pansi pa tebulo? Izinso ndi zizindikiro za nkhawa. Koma ngati munthuyu angowonetsa zizindikiro izi pafupi nanu, pamene simukudziwa zomwe zikuchitika, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro kuti akubisa chinachake.
Ndipo mkati mwa zizindikiro zimenezo, yang'anirani kwambiri nkhope zawo. Kuyang'anana maso nthawi yomweyo, kumwetulira mwamantha, kukhala ndi nkhope yodabwa nthawi iliyonse mukamafunsa funso - kodi akuchita zinthuzi mochulukirachulukira pafupi nanu? Chifukwa ngati yankho ndi inde, ndiye kuti izi ndi makhalidwe a munthu wachinyengo ndipo mwina zizindikiro zomwe mnzanuyo akukunamizani.
Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungayambitsire zochitika zoterezi, muyenera kulankhula ndi njovu m'chipindamo. Ngati amateteza kwambiri foni yawo, ingowafunsani, "Bwanji osandilola kuti ndigwire foni yanu masiku ano? Kodi mukubisa kanthu?" Ngati muwawona nthawi yomweyo akuyamba kuchita chibwibwi ndi kung'ung'udza njira yawo yotulutsira izi, chikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi.
"Kodi mumacheza ndi ndani nthawi zonse masiku ano, bwanji osandiuza za iwo?" kapena “Kodi inu ndi munthu ameneyo mumalankhula za chiyani nthawi zonse? Ngati mnzanuyo achita mantha pamene akukamba za mutu wina, onetsetsani kuti mwawona thupi lake.
4. Akuwoneka akukufooketsani
Kodi munayimitsidwa ndi mnzanu pa tsiku loti mukambirane zinthu ziwiri zomwe munakonza? Kapena kodi chibwenzi chanu chimagwiritsa ntchito nthawi zonse “ usiku wa atsikana ” ngati chifukwa chochotsera nthawi yocheza nanu? Kodi mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amakhala akugwira ntchito mwakhama nthawi zonse mukamuuza kuti akonzekere kucheza? Kodi zinthu zimabwera nthawi yomaliza kenako n’kusiya? Ngati milungu iwiri yapitayo sanakukhutireni, koma sabata ino sangakwanitse kupeza nthawi yoti akutumizireni uthenga, ndiye kuti pali vuto muubwenzi wanu.
Ndi chimodzi mwa tingachipeze powerenga mozembera bwenzi zizindikiro ngati iye nthawizonse kuyesera kupeza njira yake kukumana nanu, pokuuzani kuti iye ali kunja ndi anzake wamkazi. Mofananamo, pamene bwenzi lanu ndi mobisa, ndi "bros 'usiku kunja" akuyamba kuchitika kwambiri kuposa kale, ndipo inu konse anauzidwa zimene ndendende iye ndi kumene akupita.
Mwina akukhala mozembera pachibwenzi chifukwa amakuberani kapena kukupewani chifukwa choopa kukutsutsani. Zingatanthauzenso kuti akukumana ndi zinazake zaumwini ndipo sakudziwa momwe angakugawireni. Koma ngati mukutsimikiza kuti akukupewani kwathunthu, ndiye kuti ndi zomwe muyenera kukambirana nawo ASAP.
5. Kamvekedwe kabwino kodzitchinjiriza kakulozera kukhala wozembera pachibwenzi
Nthawi zambiri, munthu akamasankha mawu odzitchinjiriza pamakangano, ndichifukwa choti ali ndi chobisalira. Mwina nthawi zambiri amayambitsa mikangano ponena kuti, “Wokondedwa, lekani kuganiza choncho. Koma tsopano, amataya chipewa chawo n’kunena zinthu monga “Kodi mungaganize bwanji motero za ine?”
Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za munthu wachinyengo pamene njira yawo yodzitchinjiriza ndiyo kuyesa kutembenuza magome ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa. Osadandaula ndi machitidwe awo a foni yam'manja, adzakupangitsani kumva kuti mukukayikira chilichonse poyambira.
Ngati izi zikukukumbutsani za mikangano yanu yaubwenzi ndi mnzanu, ndiye kuti vuto lanu ndi lalikulu kuposa mkangano womwe munali nawo. Munthu amene ali ndi vuto ndipo akudziwa kuti akuchita bwino akhoza kukhala chete, kukuyang'anani m'maso, ndikukutsimikizirani zomwezo. Koma ngati yankho lawo nthawi yomweyo ndi mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa nthawi iliyonse mukatchula vuto pang'ono, pali china chake chomwe sakukuuzani.
6. Nkhani zawo siziwonjezera
Chinthu chomaliza chomwe Tracy ali nacho, muubwenzi wake wokhala m'banja, ndi kusadziwa. Kuyambira nthawi yomwe Hunter analowa m'nyumba kukapsompsonana usiku asanagone, iye mwachikondi amamvetsera chilichonse chimene amanena ndi kuchita. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, anayamba kuona kusagwirizana m'zinthu zomwe ankamuuza. Munthu akamagona muubwenzi , mudzawona mipata m'nkhani zawo posachedwa.
Anati adzakhala kunyumba usiku wina chifukwa bwenzi lake la koleji linabwera kutawuni. Koma pamene Tracy anamufunsa momwe chakudya chamadzulo chinayendera, iye anati, "O, mwachizolowezi. Aliyense anali kungolankhula zinyalala-kulankhula bwana watsopano ", kusonyeza kuti anapita kukadya ndi anzake a kuntchito. Kuwonjezera pa kusokonezeka maganizo ndi kukwiya, Tracy tsopano anali ndi vuto loti athane ndi munthu wozembera.
Ngati munadzipezapo mumkhalidwe wa Tracy ndi kudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndikuona ngati bwenzi langa likuchita mozembera?”, mwina n’chifukwa chakuti muli ndi chifukwa chomveka chosakhulupirira nkhani zake. Njira yabwino yodziwira ngati akunama kapena ayi ndiyo kumufunsa tsatanetsatane wa nkhani yake patangotha mlungu umodzi kapena kuposerapo. Ngati anali kunama, ayenera kuti anaiwala zimene anakuuzani, ndipo nkhani zake sizingawonjezereke.
7. Amawoneka akungoyendayenda okha nthawi zina
Pomaliza, mnzakoyo adapanga nthawi ndikupeza mphamvu kuti agwire nanu ku kanema wa tauni mukaweruka kuntchito, koma posakhalitsa mumawawona akulandira meseji ndipo amangoyendayenda pakati pa kanema. Ndi chiyani chomwe chinali chachangu kwambiri chomwe sichinathe kudikirira mpaka filimuyo itatha mosangalala? Mwachiwonekere, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mnzanu wozembera ndi umboni wotsimikizirika kuti pali kink mwako mosangalala-nthawi zonse.
Ngati akuoneka kuti akusokonezeka msanga, akuvutika mosavuta, nthawi zambiri amachoka popanda chifukwa, kapena akuvutika kukhala nanu paulendo, pali chinachake chomwe akuganiza. Sikoyenera kuti muthane ndi vuto lonyalanyazidwa muubwenziwu. Yakwana nthawi yoti muganizire momwe mungathanirane ndi munthu wopusa zinthu zisanafike poipa kwambiri.
Tikukhulupirira, pambuyo powerenga izi sitinakutumeni paulendo wofufuza zikwama zawo ndikununkhiza malaya awo. Timamvetsetsa kuti kuwona zizindikiro za chibwenzi chozembera kapena zizindikiro za chibwenzi chodzipatula kapena zizindikiro zilizonse zakusakhulupirika muubwenzi zitha kusokoneza mutu wanu. Koma musanachitepo kanthu mwachangu ndikudumphira pomaliza, patulani nthawi yowerengera kuchuluka kwa zizindikiro zomwe mungagwirizane nazo. Kenako, ganizirani nthawi ndi malo abwino oti mukambirane ndikupeza chifukwa chomwe mnzanuyo akukhalira pachibwenzi.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
