“Ndili wodzidzimuka kwambiri kuti ndisachitepo kanthu, sindinadziŵe kwenikweni kuti anali ndi zimenezi m’maganizo,” zaka zingapo zapitazo, mnzanga wina analira paphewa panga, pamene anayang’anizana ndi chenicheni cha kutha kwa ukwati wake. Miyezi ingapo izi zisanachitike, ndinalibe mtima womuuza kuti ukwati wake ufika pachimake pasanapite nthawi. “Ponseponse, pali zizindikiro zoti mwamuna wako akufuna kukusiyani.” Mwatsoka, ndiwe wakhungu kwambiri moti sungathe kuzizindikira,” ndinamuuza mosapita m’mbali.
N’zosachita kufunsa kuti kuona mtima kwanga sikunayamikiridwe ndipo anasiya kundilankhula kwa kanthawi. Tsoka ilo, ndinatsimikiziridwa kuti ndine wolondola. Miyezi ingapo pambuyo pa kukambitsirana kumeneku, anapatsidwa zikalata zosudzulana. “Mwamuna wanga akundisiya,” mnzangayo anandiuza motero. "Ndidzathyoledwa popanda iye."
Monga wachikazi, ndinadabwa chifukwa chake mkazi aliyense angafune kugwira kwa mwamuna yemwe momveka bwino alibe chidwi ndi iye, koma ndiye, mtima umagwira ntchito mwachinsinsi. Chimene bwenzi langa sichinanene n’chakuti: “Mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya koma ndimamukondabe, ndipo ndimafuna kuchita chilichonse kuti zimenezi zisachitike.”
Komabe, apa ndipamene mnzanga ndi anthu osawerengeka onga iye amalakwitsa. N’zosatheka kuletsa ukwati kuti usathe, makamaka ngati m’modzi wakhutitsidwa nazo. Mwina mungafune kuganizira kwambiri funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya?” M'malo mwake, mwina simungagwirizane ndi malingaliro ake oletsa kuti banja lithe, koma kuti banja liziyenda bwino, onse awiri ayenera kukhala ndi ndalama zofanana.
"Ngakhale mavuto atakhalapo, okwatirana amatha kuwathetsa pokhapokha ngati ali ndi chidwi chofuna kuti zinthu ziyende bwino. Koma ngati m'modzi wasiya ukwatiwo, ndipo mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akamakukondani, ndiye kuti kuyanjana kulikonse kungakhale njira yothetsera kwakanthawi," akutero Sushma Perla, mlangizi wa NLP ku UAE.
Ndi Zizindikiro Ziti Zoti Mwamuna Wanu Akufuna Kukusiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Zodabwitsa ndizakuti, kufunikira kwa chisudzulo sikumakhala kwadzidzidzi ngakhale zitawoneka ngati buluu. Nthawi zambiri, pamakhala zizindikiro zambiri zomwe mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani koma mutha kukhala osazindikira zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwake kapena moyo wake kotero kuti mumangonyalanyaza.
Izi sizowona pa maubwenzi omwe amawoneka ngati amalemba mabokosi onse pa ndandanda wa mabanja osangalala (monga mabwenzi amene tawatchulawa) koma ngakhale osasangalala kumene, mosasamala kanthu za mavuto osoŵa, mungaone kuti maziko a unansi wanu ndi olimba mokwanira kupirira mkuntho uliwonse. Zedi, zingakhale zolimba, koma mumatani ngati mwamuna wanu sakukondaninso? "Pamene mfundo yomwe imapangitsa ubale kugwira ntchito - chikondi ndi kukhulupirirana - ikusowa, zimakhala zovuta kuzisunga," akutero Sushma.
Kumbali ina, akazi ambiri ali kale ndi chikayikiro chakuti pali chinachake cholakwika m’banja lawo. Komabe, kuzindikira kuti “Ndikuganiza kuti mwamuna wanga andisiya” n’kovuta kwambiri. Choncho akupitiriza kuyang’ana mbali ina, akumayembekezera kuti kusalankhula ndi njovu m’chipindamo kungachititse kuti ichoke. Komabe, si mmene zinthu zimayendera kawirikawiri.
Ndiye, ngati mafunso ngati "Kodi mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya?" kapena “Kodi mwamuna wanga adzandisiya ngakhale kuti ndili wokonzeka kukonza ukwatiwo?” akukusungani usiku, musatseke chizoloŵezi cham'mimba chimenecho. Kuti mudzipulumutse ku zowawa zapamtima pambuyo pake, ndikwabwino kukhala tcheru ndikuzindikira kumene banja lanu likuyimira. Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akuganiza zothetsa chibwenzi chake ndi inu:
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1. Alibe nthawi yanu
Sizingatheke nthawi zonse kukhala olumikizana m'chiuno mutangokwatirana. Maudindo ndi nkhawa za ntchito zitha kupangitsa anthu kukhala otanganidwa ndikusokoneza nthawi yabwino yomwe amathera ngati banja. Komabe, mwamuna amene amakukondani amapeza nthawi yocheza nanu mwanjira ina kapena imzake. Mwamuna wanu akamakukondani, kupeza nthawi yocheza nanu kumabwera mwachibadwa chifukwa kukhala nanu kumamubweretsera chimwemwe, chitonthozo, ndi chitonthozo.
Kumbali ina, mwamuna wanu akafuna kukusiyani, palibe chimene chikumupangitsa kuchita khama. Ngati mwamuna wanu nthawi zonse amafunafuna chowiringula chokhalira kutali (ngakhale Loweruka ndi Lamlungu kapena maholide) kwa inu chifukwa cha ntchito kapena ngati amasiya zokambirana, makamaka zaumwini, chifukwa ali wotanganidwa kwambiri kuti akambirane mwatsatanetsatane, ndiye dziwani kuti chinachake chalakwika.
Kudzipatula kwake kungakulepheretseni kudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya?” Ngakhale kusapezeka kwake yekha si umboni wokwanira kuti ali nawo anatuluka muukwati motengeka mtima, ndithudi ndi chifukwa chodetsa nkhaŵa. Kungakhale lingaliro labwino kuunika momwe ubale wanu uliri ndikuwunika momwe mukuyimira.
2. Watsekedwa m'maganizo
Tiyeni tichotse mfundo 1 kwa sekondi imodzi. Mwinamwake angakhaledi wotanganitsidwa ndi wotanganitsidwa koma ngati amasamala, adzakukondani. Kaŵirikaŵiri, amuna amene angakhale ndi mavuto ndi akazi awo, amakonda kudzitsekera m’maganizo, mwinanso kuchitapo kanthu kusakhulupirika m'maganizo, motero m’kupita kwa nthaŵi kuwononga unansiwo.
Kotero iye angakhale akugwira ntchito zake, kuthandizira panyumba, kugwira ntchito zapakhomo, kukambirana, kutenga nawo mbali pa zikondwerero, ndi zina zotero. Zomwe zili m'malingaliro zitha kukhala zikusowa ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zoyambirira zomwe mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani.
M’chenicheni, mosasamala kanthu kuti iye ayang’ana mabokosi onse pa ndandanda ya zochita za mwamuna wabwino, mungakupeze kukhala kovuta kugwirizana naye mwamalingaliro. Mwinanso mungadabwe kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga sangachoke chifukwa palibe m’banjali? Ngati ndi komwe muli, musanyalanyaze zizindikiro za kutha kwa banja - ndi kulira kopempha thandizo.
3. Mwadzidzidzi amazindikira maonekedwe ake
Mwamuna wanu akakhala ndi chibwenzi chobisika, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu zomwe akufuna kuti achoke muukwati - amazindikira maonekedwe ake ndikuika ndalama zambiri mwa iye yekha. Akhoza kupita kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi mwadzidzidzi, kuika ndalama pa opaleshoni ya pulasitiki, kugula zovala zatsopano, zokongola. Inde, palibe mwa izi kaamba ka phindu lanu. Amuna omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zazikulu nthawi zambiri amakonda kupita kukasintha kuti agwirizane ndi zokonda zachikondi chawo chatsopano. Mosafunikira kunena, izi zitha kukhala zosiyana kwambiri ndi umunthu wawo wamba womwe ulidi a ubale wofiira mbendera.
Skylar atayamba kuzindikira mwamuna wake wazaka 15 mwadzidzidzi akudziwa za maonekedwe ake ndi kulimbitsa thupi kwake ali ndi zaka 40, sakanatha kudzimva kuti adamutaya kwa munthu wina ndipo patangopita nthawi kuti banja lithe. “Ndikuganiza kuti mwamuna wanga andisiya ndipo angakhale atayamba kukondana ndi munthu wina,” iye anatero. Mantha ake oipitsitsa adakwaniritsidwa pasanathe miyezi 6 pamene adachoka panyumba ndikukhala ndi mnzake watsopano.
4. Amabisa foni yake
"Zambiri zimayambira pa mafoni," akutero Sushma. "Macheza ndi zokambirana pa WhatsApp ochezera a pa Intaneti zimakhudza maubwenzi mozama. Zakhala zofunika kwambiri pa moyo wathu wapamtima. " Ngati mwamuna wanu amachita mobisa kwambiri pankhani ya foni yake (kapena maimelo), kuwabisa ndikusintha mawu achinsinsi nthawi zambiri, onetsetsani kuti china chake sichili bwino, chinsinsi ndi chizindikiro chachikulu choti mwamuna wanu akukonzekera kukusiyani.
Ngati sakufuna kupitiriza ndi ukwatiwo, mwachionekere angakonzekeretu kupatukana pasadakhale ndi kukonzekera kuti akuuzeni nkhaniyo. Mwinamwake, wakhala akuyang'aniridwa kwambiri ndi foni yake ndi laputopu chifukwa zili ndi tsatanetsatane wa zolinga zake zochoka m'banja. Kodi mwamuna wanu akukonzekera kusudzulana mwachinsinsi? Mwina! Iye angakhale akukambitsirana kale ndi maloya kapena akugwira ntchito mosamalitsa kuti atetezere zokonda zake ngati chisudzulo sichingapeŵeke. Kuonetsetsa kuti simukuvutitsidwa ndi njira yake yothanirana ndi vutolo.
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5. Amakupatsirani Kukhala chete pankhondo
Kodi mumakangana nthawi zonse m'banja mwanu? Kodi iye tsopano wasiya mwadzidzidzi kuchitapo kanthu mokwiya ndi jibe kapena kuphulika kwanu? Mutha kuganiza kuti mwina akubwera ndipo akufuna kukhazikitsa mtendere koma chifukwa chenicheni chingakhale chosiyana - chingakhale chimodzi mwa zizindikiro kuti mwamuna wanu amakudani. Kuchita ndi ukali wozizira kumene amaika khoma lamalingaliro ndipo mulibe chidziwitso cha zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwake kungakhale kosokoneza kwambiri.
Osachepera mu ndewu yaukali ndi kusinthana mawu, mutha kudziwa zomwe akuganiza. Koma a kuchitira chete zitha kukhala zokhumudwitsa kwambiri chifukwa zikuwonetsa kuti alibe nazo ntchito. "Kodi mwamuna wanga adzandisiya?" Funso lochititsa manthali likhoza kuyamba kukuyang’anitsitsani kwambiri pamene mwamuna wanu ayamba kudzipatula. Tsopano akukana kuchita nanu chifukwa chothetsa zosasangalatsazo mutamenyana. Nkhawa zanu zilibe maziko chifukwa zochita zake zimasonyeza kuti sakudandaulirani inu ndi ukwati wanu.
6. Amamenyana nanu nthawi zonse
Zotsutsana ndi mfundo 5 ndizowonanso. “Timamenyana nthawi zonse, kulibe mtendere ngakhale pang’ono. Kodi mwamuna wanga andisiya?” Brianna, wowerenga wochokera ku Washington, akufunsa. Kukangana kosalekeza kapena kuyambitsa mikangano popanda chifukwa ndi zizindikironso kuti mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani. Nthawi zambiri, ndewuzi sizingakhale zongochitika zokha koma zongofuna kuukira. Izi zimachitikanso ngati sakufuna kuti nkhani yoti akuchoka ibwere modzidzimutsa kwa inu kapena kubanja. Mwamuna wanu akafuna kukusiyani, amangokhalira kukangana mwadala.
Kaŵirikaŵiri izi zimachitika pamene akufunafuna njira yotulutsira ukwati koma mmalo mwake angakuikireni mlandu. Kukupangitsani kuti mumenyane, kudzutsa kuyankha mwachidwi kapena mwaukali kuchokera kwa inu, ndikutembenuza ndikukupangitsani kukhala woipa ndi chizindikiro chakuti mwamuna wanu amakudani. Muli ndi dzanja lanu a gaslight mkazi.
Mwinamwake, amayesa kuyambitsa ndewu kotero kuti pambuyo pokangana koyambirira, atha kubwereranso kukakupatsani inu mwakachetechete. Mfundo yakuti kukhala chete kwapoizoni kumeneku kumakhala komasuka kwa mwamuna wanu kusiyana ndi nthawi yogawana nawo mtendere ndi chisangalalo ndikwanira kuti mufunse, "Kodi mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya?"
7. Nthawi zonse amadziika yekha patsogolo
Kodi nthawi zonse ndi 'ine, ine ndekha' zikafika pa zosankha zofunika kwambiri pamoyo wa mwamuna wanu? Mwamuna akamasiyana ndi mkazi wake, m’pamenenso amayamba kudzikonda kwambiri. Ukwati uyenera kukhala mgwirizano wa anthu ofanana. Koma pamene maubwenzi afika pachimake, mmodzi amapeza mphamvu pamene akupanga zonse zokhudza iye mwini. Kaya ali ndi zifukwa zotani m'maganizo mwake, koma mwamuna wanu akakuikani omaliza pa chilichonse, ndi chizindikiro chachikulu kuti mulibe gawo lalikulu m'moyo wake.
Kaya akuchita mwadala kapena ayi, ndi chizindikiro chatsoka kwa inu muzochitika zonsezi. Mwina simuli m'malingaliro ake, kapena akufuna kuyika mfundo iyi panjira iliyonse yomwe mungafunikire kukonzekera kuti amusiye. Zimasonyezanso kuti mungafunike kudzisamalira nokha pamene akukonzekera kukhala ndi moyo popanda inu ndipo akusamalira zofuna zake pakatha chisudzulo. Ngati makhalidwe awa a mkazi wa narcissistic zachitika posachedwa mwa okondedwa wanu, mutha kuziwona ngati zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani.
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8. Moyo wanu wogonana umataya mojo
Chikondi chikachoka m’banja, kugonananso kumasokonekera. Ngakhale zitakhala kuti kaŵirikaŵiri kapena chidwi chili chocheperako, ukwati wabwino udzapeza njira zina zosungitsira motowo kukhala wamoyo. Mwamuna ndi mkazi amamvetsetsa kufunika kokhala pachibwenzi. Kugonana ndi njira imodzi yofikira kukulitsa chikondi muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, kusowa kwa moyo wogonana komanso kusakondweretsedwa kwathunthu paubwenzi ndizizindikiro zotsimikizika kuti mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani.
A ubale wopanda kugonana zimakhudza ubale m'njira zingapo. Koma ngati ndi chifukwa chogwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso kapena kupsinjika maganizo kapena chifukwa china chilichonse, pali njira zothetsera izo. Banja lomwe lidakhalapo muubwenzi liyesetsa zotheka kuonetsetsa kuti ubale wapakati pawo usafote ndi kufa. Koma ngati chifukwa chosagwirizana ndi chibwenzi kapena kusasinthika kosasinthika, ndiye kuti simungathe kuchita chilichonse kuti mubwererenso. Ndizomvetsa chisoni koma ndi momwe zimachitikira.
"Ndikuganiza kuti mwamuna wanga andisiya ndipo banja langa latha," Joyce adapeza kuti akugawana ndi bwenzi lake pambuyo pouma kwa nthawi yayitali kuchipinda. Mwamuna wake, yemwe ankalakalaka kwambiri kugonana, mwadzidzidzi anasiya kufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi. Sikuti sanayambitsenso kugonana komanso anakana zomwe Joyce ankafuna nthawi zonse - zomwe anali asanakhalepo nazo zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri ali m'banja. Patapita masiku awiri, anacheza naye mochititsa mantha ndipo anasamuka kumapeto kwa mlungu wotsatira.
9. Malo ake ochezera a pa Intaneti amawulula zambiri zokayikitsa
Mokonda kapena ayi, chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe cha anthu chimavumbula zambiri za munthu. Mosazindikira, munthu amayika zakukhosi ndi malingaliro ake kunja uko. Ngati mwamuna wanu wachita zinthu monyanyira, mwina zingakhale bwino kuti muyang'ane kusaka kwake pamasamba ochezera. Mukapeza zofufuza zokhudzana ndi kusudzulana kapena maloya kapena kupatukana, ndizizindikiro zazikulu kuti mwamuna wanu akusiyani. Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, lingaliro la kugawanika silichitika mwadzidzidzi, anthu amakonda kuchita maziko asanaulule.
Mofananamo, ngati muwapeza akubwereza mobwerezabwereza zomwe zikuyenda, kapena kupezanso chikondi, kapena ubwino wokhala mbeta, simudzalakwa kudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya? Komanso, khalani omasuka kwa iwo kufunafuna lawi lakale, kusweka kwa koleji, chibwenzi chomwe chayiwalika kwanthawi yayitali pama TV. Sizikutanthauza kuti akukuberani. Koma zikhoza kukupatsani lingaliro la maganizo awo.
"Mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya koma ndimamukondabe. Nditani?" Bill adadabwa pomwe adayamba kuwona zolemba zachinsinsi pa akaunti yapa media ya mwamuna wake. "Iye wakhala akugawana mawu awa okhudza kusuntha ndi kukhala ndi moyo mokwanira. Poyamba, sindinapange zambiri. Koma pamene zolembazi zinakhala zowonekera nthawi zonse pa malo ake ochezera a pa Intaneti ndipo khalidwe lake kunyumba lidayambanso kusintha, ndinadziwa kuti tikupita ku zovuta, "adatero.
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10. “Kodi mwamuna wanga akufunadi chisudzulo?” Inde, ngati asiya moyo wanu pang’onopang’ono
Ngati simungagwirizane ndi funso lakuti “Kodi mwamuna wanga akufunadi chisudzulo?”, dziŵani kuti kudzilekanitsa ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu zimene akufuna kuchoka m’banjamo. Anthu omwe akukonzekera kuchoka m'mabanja awo adzachita sitepe ndi sitepe. Mutha kumuwona akupanga mapulani osakuphatikizani. Kuyambira kusapezeka pazochitika zofunika kwa inu, kupereka zifukwa zophonya zikondwerero zofunika kwambiri, kuchita zinthu payekha, iye adzachita zonse kuti ‘apezenso’ ufulu wake.
Banja lolimba limakhudza awiriwa kuchita zinthu zaubwenzi limodzi - zikhale ntchito zosavuta zapakhomo pokonzekera ndalama ndi tchuthi limodzi. Ndipo chilakolako chimenecho chimadza mwachibadwa, munthu safunika kuchita khama kuti akwaniritse. Koma mwamuna wanu akayamba kuchita zinthu mochulukirachulukira popanda inu kumbali yake, ndi nthawi yoda nkhawa.
Mwachitsanzo, kodi wayamba kukaona misonkhano ya makolo ndi aphunzitsi kusukulu ya ana anu? Kapena n'chifukwa chiyani akufuna kutenga tchuthi popanda inu? Kapena mumathera Loweruka madzulo ku bar nokha, kuposa ndi inu? Komabe, onani zizindikiro izi molumikizana ndi kumverera kwa m'matumbo anu ndi zizindikiro zina za kusiya maganizo. Palibe cholakwika ndi munthu amene ali paubwenzi wodzipereka kufuna kuchita zinthu popanda bwenzi lake, ndi kukondwerera nthawi yawo yekha. Kufunika danga si nthawi zonse chizindikiro choopsa paubwenzi.
11. Amawoneka wokayikakayika komanso wozemba
Kuyambitsa magawano si ntchito yophweka. Pakhoza kukhala nthawi za chisokonezo ndipo amakhala ndi malingaliro achiwiri ponena za chisankho chake chokoka plug paukwati wake. Mwina mukudziwa kuti akukumana ndi vuto linalake. Ngati chibadwa chanu chimati, “Mwamuna wanga sangathe kusankha ngati akufuna kukhala ndi ine kapena kundisiya”, ndiye kuti muyenera kuchitapo kanthu.
Chisankho chili ndi inu - mukufuna kukumana naye kapena mukufuna kuti ayambe kusuntha? Langizo lathu ndi lakuti: Osachita manyazi ndi zokambirana zosapeŵeka. N’kutheka kuti ali m’mavuto okhudza zimene akufuna kuchita m’banja. Kulowererapo kwanu kungamuthandize kuti alankhule ndi njovu m'chipinda chomwe ndi chanu mavuto a m’banja.
Mwina, kukayikira kwake ndi chizindikiro chabwino. Siliva yomwe ili mumtambo wakuda ikubwera paukwati wanu. Mwinamwake, palibe chiyembekezo chonse chimene chatayika ndipo mukhoza kupanga ukwati wanu kuti ugwire ntchito ndi chithandizo choyenera. Ganizirani kulankhula ndi mwamuna wanu za kupita kuchipatala ngati "Mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya koma ndimamukondabe" ndi pamene inu muli, ndipo nayenso sangaganize zochoka kapena kukhala. Ngati zikuyenera kutero, ndipo pali chiyembekezo chotsalira, adzafuna kuyesa ubale wanu komaliza.
12. Safuna kukamba za ukwati
kwambiri mavuto ogwirizana zitha kuthetsedwa mwa kulankhulana kogwira mtima. Koma mwamuna amene watulukira m’banjamo sadzakhala ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuthetsa mavuto oonekeratu. Ngakhale atadziwa kuti banja lili m’mavuto, mwamuna wanu amazengereza kupempha thandizo mukamuuza. Kuonjezera apo, sangafune ngakhale kuvomereza kuti pali mavuto muubwenzi. Angaone kuti n’kovuta ndiponso n’kovuta kukambirana nkhani zimenezi. Angakonde kudzinamiza m'malo mokangana. Eya, zonsezi ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani.
Ngati sasonyeza chidwi chofuna kupulumutsa banja, mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiye kufunsa kuti “Kodi mwamuna wanga andisiya?”. Lekani kugwiritsitsa chiyembekezo chabodza kuti ndi chigamba chovuta kapena kuti chidzadutsa. Ino ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane momwe zinthu ziliri ndikukonzekera nokha - m'malingaliro, zachuma, komanso mwadongosolo - kuti banja lanu lithe.
13. Amapanga malonda atsopano azachuma
Kuyamba kuchita zinthu mosiyana pankhani zandalama ndi chizindikiro chodziwika bwino kuti ali pachinthu china. Izi zingaphatikizepo chilichonse kuyambira kusamutsa maakaunti anu olowa m'dzina lake mpaka kupanga akaunti yachinsinsi yakubanki kapena kugula chuma m'dzina lake lokha. Akhoza ngakhale kudzipereka kusakhulupirika pazachuma. Apa mukudzifunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga akufuna kundisiya?" Ndipo kumeneko, akukonzekera kale mapangano okwatirana kapena okwatirana, kapena amakambirana za katundu wogawana ndi ngongole.
M’zisudzulo zambiri, ndalama zimakhala zowawa kwambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti nkhondoyi ikhale yovuta kuposa kale lonse. Kupanga zisankho zatsopano zandalama kungakhale njira imodzi yokha yodzitetezera kugawikana kosapeweka kusanachitike. Chifukwa chake, mukangopeza "mwamuna wanga akukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo" inkling, gwirani ndalama zanu. Ndipotu, n’kwanzeru kudziŵa mmene ndalama zanu zilili kuti musadabwe.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Umuuze Bwanji Mwamuna Wako Kuti Ukufuna Chisudzulo
14. Amangokhalira kunena zakusiyani - Chizindikiro chodziwika bwino chomwe akufuna
Khalidwe limeneli ndi losiyana kwambiri ndi kukhala chete. Ndewu ndi mikangano ndizofala m’banja lililonse koma penyani mawu a mwamuna wanu ngati nthawi zonse amakuopsezani kuti akusiyani pa nthawi ya ndewu iliyonse. Ndithudi, wina amanena zinthu zambiri mumkhalidwe waukali kotero kuti mungakhoze kunyalanyaza izo. Komabe, ngati nthawi zonse amalankhula za kuthetsa ukwati, ndiye kuti ali wotsimikiza za izo - ndikuti akufuna kukusiyani kapena akufuna kupatukana kwakanthawi.
Nthawi zina anganene mwanthabwala, koma ngakhale zitatero, musamachite mopepuka. Izi ndi zizindikiro zochenjeza kuti mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani. Ngati wakhala womasuka kukuikani m’malo osatetezeka, n’zachionekere kuti mmene mukumvera zilibe kanthu kwa iye. Izi zikuwonetsanso kuchotsedwa kwamalingaliro komwe wakhala akukumva. Mwamuna wanu wafufuza bwino za ubale wanu.
Ukwati ndi wovuta ndipo nthawi zonse umakhala wabwino kumenyera nkhondo kuti ukhale ndi moyo koma sungathe kunyalanyaza zolakwika zake. Lingalirani zomwe zili pamwambazi monga zizindikiro zochenjeza zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupanga chosankha choyenera ngati banja lanu likutha. Osachepera, zingakuthandizeni kukhala opambana ndi kulamulira moyo wanu panthawi yomwe mnzanuyo watsimikiza kuti apite njira yake yosiyana.
Ibibazo
Mwamuna wanu akachoka kwa inu, osavomereza mavuto, sayesetsa kuyanjananso pambuyo pa ndewu, ndipo ali ndi chibwenzi chachinsinsi chomwe chili chofunika kwambiri kwa iye kuposa banja lake, mungakhale otsimikiza kuti ukwati wathadi. Zonsezi ndi zizindikiro zoti mwamuna wanu akufuna kukusiyani.
"Kodi mwamuna wanga andisiya?" mumadzifunsa nokha. Ngati mwamuna wanu sakusonyeza kuti akufuna kuti zinthu ziyende bwino ndipo akuumirira kupatukana, mwina n’chifukwa chakuti waganiza zoti akusiyeni. Ngati palibe zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti akufuna kupulumutsa ukwati wake, dziwani kuti akufunitsitsa kuthetsa banja.
Ngati, mosasamala kanthu za kuyesayesa kwanu kopambana, palibe chiwongolero m’banja lanu, ngati mwamuna wanu ali ndi chibwenzi ndipo sakukhululukirana nazo, ngati sakusonyeza chidwi chofuna chithandizo kapena kuyesetsa kupulumutsa ukwati wanu, onani zimenezi monga zizindikiro zoonekeratu zimene akufuna kuchoka muukwatiwo. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akamaliza nanu, dziwani kuti ndi bwino kuthetsa banja.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
