11 Zizindikiro Za Kusakhulupirika Mu Ubale

Ndi kumverera kwachilendo, sichoncho? Kukhala ndi Google zizindikiro zachinyengo muubwenzi? Ena anganene ngati zinthu zafika pompano, nthawi yatha kale ndipo muyenera kuti munabwerera mmbuyo kalekale. Koma simutaya mtima pa chibwenzi mpaka mutapeza njira yokhayo yomwe yatsala. Mukufuna kutsimikiza kuti zomwe mukuwona ndi zizindikiro za mnzanu wozembera osati chabe, kusamvetsetsana kwatsoka. Kutha kusiyanitsa ziwirizi kungasankhe tsogolo la ubale wanu, ndipo mwachibadwa, ichi ndi chisankho chomwe mungafune kupanga mwanzeru. Ichi ndichifukwa chake decoding zizindikiro za kusaona mtima mu ubwenzi si nthabwala.

M'buku lawo lakuti Keeping the Love You Find , olemba Harville Hendrix ndi Helen Hunt analemba kuti apeza kuti pafupifupi 75-90% ya okwatirana onse amakumana ndi zizindikiro zina za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi. Kuphatikiza apo, pafupifupi 39% ya aku America onse avomereza kuti ali okonzeka kunamiza okondedwa awo. Ndiye, nchifukwa chiyani ambiri a ife timakonda kunyalanyaza zizindikiro za chinyengo muubwenzi ndikudzinamiza ngati kuti zonse zili bwino?

Nthawi zambiri, maanja safuna kuvomereza ngati china chake sichikuyenda, kaya ndizovuta zandalama, kusagwirizana m'maganizo, kukhumudwa pakugonana, kapena zonsezi. Angachite zimenezi pofuna kupewa mikangano kapena kuopa kusokoneza ubwenzi wawo chifukwa chakuti sakufunanso kusungulumwa. Koma chinyengo chimasokoneza maubwenzi moipitsitsa kuposa mkangano uliwonse. Ndipo kusavomereza mavuto ake sikuli kanthu koma kudzinyenga, kumene pamapeto pake kumabweretsa kusaona mtima kwamalingaliro m’maubwenzi.

Ubale uliwonse uli ndi zokwera ndi zotsika. Kusiyanitsa kuli ngati muli woona mtima powunika momwe ubale wanu ulili kuti muthe kuwongolera, kapena mumadzinyenga nokha pokhulupirira kuti zonse zili bwino. Chowonadi ndi chakuti maubwenzi amakhala ovuta komanso ovuta nthawi zina. Ndipo mabodza oyipitsitsa pachibwenzi ndi omwe umadziuza kuti uthawe chowonadi ichi. Pofuna kuonetsetsa kuti simukupezeka mu dzenje la kalulu la kukana, tiyeni tidziwe momwe kusakhulupirika paubwenzi kumawonekera komanso momwe kumakhudzira ubale wa okwatirana.

Nchiyani Chimayeneretsedwa Monga Chinyengo mu Ubale?

Kuti timvetse zimene kusaona mtima kumachita paubwenzi, tiyenera kudziŵa bwino lomwe kuti n’chiyani kwenikweni. Sikuti mabodza onse ndi oipa. Koma pali chinyengo chambiri chomwe chingawononge ubwenzi. Onani zina mwa zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi:

• Kunama kuti munthu amapeza ndalama zingati
• Kunyenga thupi ndi chinyengo chamalingaliro
• Kucheza mobisa ndi bwenzi lawo lakale / chibwenzi
• Kubisa ubale wawo wakale

Tsopano popeza mwadutsa zitsanzo zachinyengo muubwenzi, zikuwonekeratu kuti kukhala ndi bwenzi lozembera kungakhale chinthu choyipa kwambiri. Koma tiyeneranso kuganizira kuti mwina ifeyo ndi amene takhala tikuonetsa zizindikiro za kusaona mtima muubwenzi. Nthawi zambiri timabisa malingaliro athu ndi zokhumba zathu chifukwa timafuna kuti ena azitikonda kuposa momwe timafunira kukhala owona kwa ife eni. Sizingakhale mwadala kapena kudzipindulitsa, koma ndi chinyengo komabe zotsatira za kusaona mtima paubwenzi, mosasamala kanthu za cholinga, zimakhala zovuta nthawi zonse.

Ndikofunika kudziwa apa kuti kunama mwa kunyalanyaza chibwenzi kumachitika kawirikawiri. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, 73% ya omwe adafunsidwa omwe akhala pachibwenzi kwa chaka chimodzi kapena kuposerapo adavomereza kuti adanamiza okondedwa awo kuti apitirize kukhala ndi chibwenzi chabwino.

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Mumadziwa Bwanji Ngati Wokondedwa Wanu Akunyengeni?

Poyamba, mwa kumvetsera kwambiri. Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosavuta ngati muli pafupi ndi munthu wina. Ngati inu nonse mwakhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi ndithu, mwina munazolowera njira zawo, makhalidwe awo, zizolowezi zawo zotopetsa, ndi chizoloŵezi chawo. Mukangowona mtundu wina wa kupatuka kapena kusokonezeka mu khalidwe lawo, musatenge mopepuka. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, musamangoganiza kuti mnzanuyo akukuberani ndikugwetsa nyumbayo. Yang'anani iwo pang'ono. Kodi nthawi zonse amakubisirani foni? Kodi mukuwona zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti akubisala pachibwenzi?

Njira ina yomwe mungadziwire ngati chibwenzi chanu chikukunyengani kapena ngati chibwenzi chanu chikunama mwa kunyalanyaza chibwenzi chanu ndi ngati nkhani zawo sizikugwirizana kwenikweni. Munthu akamanama muubwenzi , kusagwirizana kwa nkhani ndiyo njira yabwino yowapezera akulakwitsa. Mwachitsanzo, usiku wina amakuuzani za ulendo womwe adapita ku Bali mu Marichi watha. Koma kenako mukukumbukira nthawi ina pamene adanena kuti chaka chatha mu Marichi unali ukwati wa mchimwene wawo ndipo sakanatha kupezekapo chifukwa sankaloledwa kutenga tsiku limodzi lopuma. Kodi ndi Bali, ukwati, kapena ntchito? Kodi chinachitika n’chiyani mu Marichi?

Kutenga zizindikiro izi ndi njira yokhayo yodziwira ndikuwona zizindikiro zachinyengo mu chiyanjano. Choncho khalani tcheru ndi kuwayang’anitsitsa. Ndipo mukakhala ndi chifukwa chokhulupirira kuti mukunamizidwa kapena zinthu zatha, lankhulani nawo.

11 Zizindikiro Za Kusakhulupirika Mu Ubale

Kusaona mtima kungakhale kovuta kuwona muubwenzi. Nthawi zina ndi chifukwa simukufuna kukhulupirira mnzanuyo angathe kunama kwa inu, ndipo nthawi zina, mukufuna kuwapatsa phindu la kukaikira. Koma pali njira zodziwira ngati mnzanuyo akuchita chilungamo kwa inu kapena ayi.

Zizindikiro zoonekeratu za kunama zimatha kuonekera m’mawonekedwe a thupi la munthu, mmene amachitira zinthu, ndiponso mmene amaonera zinthu. Izi zitha kukhala chilichonse kuchokera kwa munthu wotseka pakamwa pake polankhula zabodza kuti apewe kukambirana ndi munthu payekha pomwe angafunike kunama ndikukonda kutero pafoni kapena kulemberana mameseji, kapena kudziikira kumbuyo ndikuti, "Sindikuuzani." Kodi muli m'banja momwe mwamuna wanu amanama ndikukubisirani zinthu? Yakwana nthawi yoti muganizire ngati mukuwona machitidwe otere mu.

N’kuthekanso kuti mnzanuyo angakhale akunama mwangozi pachibwenzi. Amadziwa chomwe chiri chowonadi koma amasankha kusagawana nanu kuti ateteze malingaliro anu kapena kudzipulumutsa ku kukambitsirana kosasangalatsa. Koma kodi zimenezi zingathandize bwanji, popeza akadali bodza? Timvetsetse izi ndi zina zonse podutsa muzizindikiro za bwenzi lozembera zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuzindikira kusakhulupirika paubwenzi:

1. Kunama pa zinthu zazing’ono ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za kusaona mtima m’banja

Ngati mukuona ngati mnzanu akunama pa zinthu zazing'ono, ndiye kuti izi zingatanthauze kuti nayenso akunama pa zinthu zazikulu. Palibe cholakwika ndi kufuna kusunga zinsinsi zingapo muubwenzi chifukwa kodi ubale ungakhale wosangalatsa bwanji popanda chinsinsi? Koma payenera kukhala malire pa momwe mungasinthire chowonadi m'dzina la chisangalalo ndi chinsinsi.

Ngati mukuganiza kuti nkhani imabwera mobwerezabwereza ndipo mukuyamba kuona kuti ndi yovuta, musanyalanyaze! Ndizotheka kuti mwamuna wanu amanama ndikubisa zinthu kwa inu, kapena mkazi kapena mnzanu sakunena zoona. Kulingalira zosemphana zimenezo kungakufikitseni pafupi kuti mupeze chowonadi.

2. Kubisa zomwe zili m'chikwama chawo

Ngati wokondedwa wanu abisa zinthu zomwe amasunga m'chikwama kapena chikwama, monga chikalata cha kirediti kadi kapena zikalata zina, zikutanthauza kuti ali ndi chobisala. Mwina akhala akusaona mtima pazachuma kapena pali zina za moyo wawo zomwe samafuna kuti mudziwe - chibwenzi mwina kapena mabizinesi osokonekera. Mulimonsemo, kusamasukirana ndi okondedwa wanu za katundu wanu ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mwamuna/mkazi wachinyengo.

3. Kukhala wachinsinsi komanso kubisa foni kapena kompyuta

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu zonamizira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi chinsinsi chochuluka pa zochita zawo za pa intaneti. Ponena za chinyengo , anthu ambiri amadalira ukadaulo kuti achite zimenezo. Ngati muli ndi munthu amene sakulolani kugwiritsa ntchito foni kapena kompyuta yake, zingakhale chizindikiro chakuti ali ndi chinachake chobisa. Mwachitsanzo, ganizirani za mnzanga:

Anali atakhala pachibwenzi ndi mtsikanayu kwa nthawi yoposa chaka. Pa nthawi yonseyi, sanaloledwe kugwiritsa ntchito foni yake kamodzi. Nthawi zonse amakhala ndi zowiringula. Pomaliza, pomwe adapeza foniyo, adapeza ma profiles atatu omwe adakhala akugwiritsa ntchito kuyambira asanakumane. Mapulogalamu azibwenzi nawonso sanali obisika. Zambiri pazachinsinsi za digito, eh?

4. Kukhala ndi mantha pa nkhani ya kukhulupirika kungakhale chizindikiro cha kusaona mtima muubwenzi

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mwamuna kapena mkazi wachinyengo ndi kusapeza bwino pa nkhani ya kukhulupirika. Ngati mnzanuyo akuwoneka wamantha nthawi iliyonse mukabweretsa kukhulupirika kapena chinyengo pazochitika za ubale wanu, zitha kukhala chiwonetsero cha chikumbumtima chawo cholakwa.

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5. Kufotokozera nkhani zomwe sizikuphatikizana ndi zizindikiro zazikulu zachinyengo muubwenzi

Kotero mwaona kuti nkhani zomwe amakuuzani zokhudza ubale wawo wakale ndi zosamveka bwino kapena sizikugwirizana. Nkhani zawo za zochitika zakale sizikugwirizana kapena sizimveka bwino. Anthu onama amafunika kudziteteza nthawi zonse kapena kulungamitsa zochita zawo. Pochita izi, nthawi zambiri amapanga zifukwa zomwe zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kapena zofotokozera zambiri.

Chitsanzo chodziwika bwino cha izi ndi pamene munthuyo amangowonjezera mayina atsopano kapena kubwereza zonse zomwe zinachitika. Mutha kuwafunsa chinthu chosavuta monga momwe analili panthawiyo. M'malo mwa yankho lolunjika, adzakupatsani nkhani yonse ya momwe adakakamira kuntchito kapena kukumana ndi bwenzi lakale. Afunseni funso lomwelo patangopita masiku angapo ndipo mupeza anthu owonjezera ndi zochitika zomwe zawonjezeredwa m'nkhaniyi. Ngati chimenecho si chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusaona mtima muubwenzi, sitikudziwa chomwe chiri.

6. Kuwonetsa kusayankha konse

Akagwidwa ndi bodza, amangosintha nkhaniyo mwamsanga kapena amayesa kuimba mlandu munthu wina m’malo mopepesa n’kungonena zoona. Ngati wina akunama, nthawi zambiri amapewa kuyankha mafunso mwachindunji ndikuyesera kusintha nkhaniyo mwachangu. Khalidwe lozemba ndi chizindikiro cha munthu amene akunama kwa inu. Samaliraninso matupi awo komanso zindikirani momwe amayankhira. Mudzazindikira kuti samalumikizana ndi maso.

Mofananamo, chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zachinyengo mu chiyanjano ndi mayankho osadziwika bwino. Mnzanu wosaona mtima sangayankhe funso lililonse lomwe mungawafunse ndipo amapewa mwaluso nkhani zomwe mumabweretsa. Kuchita zimenezi kumakhala kosavuta kuchokera kuseri kwa chinsalu. Koma ngati mumvetsera mwatcheru, mutha kuzindikira kuti bwenzi lanu kapena chibwenzi chanu chikunama kudzera m’mameseji. Ngati muwaitanira kunja, akhoza kungothawa zokambiranazo pogawana meme kapena reel, kapena choyipa, amangosowa kwa maola angapo.

7. Kugwiritsa ntchito maulendo olakwa ndi chizindikiro chobisika kwambiri cha kusaona mtima muubwenzi

Ndipo zingaonedwenso ngati khalidwe loipa kwambiri . Amakupangitsani kudzimva kuti ndinu olakwa chifukwa chowadzudzula chifukwa cha khalidwe lawo losakhulupirika. Mwatsoka, mumawapatsa chilolezo chifukwa simukufuna kuonedwa ngati "munthu woipa" pankhaniyi ndikusankha kusiya. Koma ichi ndi chizindikiro chachikulu chokhala ndi mnzanu wochenjera. Amakuimbani mlandu kuti musamaone zolakwa zawo kuti asakumane ndi zotsatira za zochita zawo.

Ndinali pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana uyu - tiyeni timutchule kuti Stacey - ndipo ndinazindikira kuti amakonda kunama za moyo wake. Nthawi yoyamba imene ndinamufunsa za nkhaniyi, anapepesa. Koma khalidweli litapitirira, ndinamuumiriza kwambiri. Kumapeto kwa kukambiranako, anali atanditsimikizira kuti ndine amene ndinamufunsa mafunso. M’milungu ingapo yotsatira, ndinayamba kukambirana ndi mutuwo m’njira zosakhwima. Komabe, ineyo ndi amene ndinkadziimba mlandu chifukwa chokamba nkhaniyo nthawi zonse. Ndinatenga malingaliro anga ndikuthetsa chibwenzi. Kupatula apo, ulendo womwewo wa mlandu umagwira ntchito nthawi zambiri.

8. Kusunga chinsinsi chawo

Kudziwa zochita za wina ndi mzake, nthawi, kapena mwachizolowezi "Mukuchita chiyani?" uthenga umabwera ndi gawo la ubale. Ndi zachilendo kuti nthawi zonse muzidziwa kumene mnzanuyo ali nthawi iliyonse. Ndipotu maanja ambiri amakonda choncho ndipo amasankha kudziwitsa okondedwa awo za izi. Koma chimodzi mwazizindikiro zachinyengo muubwenzi ndikuti mnzanuyo amapewa kuwonekera kotereku.

Simudziwa komwe SO wanu ali nthawi iliyonse. Akhoza kukhala akungocheza ndi anzanu apamtima kapena kufunafuna munthu wina womukonda. Monga mukudziwa, akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina koma akadali nanu chifukwa akuopa kukutayani. Zoona zake n'zakuti simungadziwe zomwe mnzanuyo amachita tsiku lonse. Koma ngati sakusangalala ndi inu kutenga chidwi ndi nthawi yawo yachizolowezi, ndiye kuti akhoza kukhala ndi moyo wapawiri.

9. Kugwiritsa ntchito “misonkhano” ngati chowiringula cha katundu

Ndipo tatopa kuzimva. "Misonkhano" yawo ikuwoneka ngati ikuwonekera pa nthawi yake. "Ndili mumsonkhano" amangotulutsa lilime lawo nthawi iliyonse akafunsa. N'zotheka mnzanuyo akhoza kukhala wotanganidwa, koma wina amene ali ndi chidwi ndi inu adzapeza nthawi kukhalapo ndi kuchita nawo moyo wanu. Chofunika kwambiri, adzafotokoza chifukwa chake sangakhale nanu nthawi ina m'malo mogwiritsa ntchito chifukwa cha "msonkhano" kwa nthawi miliyoni.

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10. Zizindikiro zoonekeratu za chinyengo muubwenzi? Zochitika zakale zimawululidwa

Mukupeza kuti adakunamizani kale . Ndi zitsanzo zina ziti zachinyengo muubwenzi zomwe mukufunadi? Ngati mwapeza zizindikiro zabodza za mnzanu muubwenzi wanu, zikutanthauza kuti mnzanuyo mwina adzakunamizaninso. Ngati sanakuuzeni zoona mpaka mutapeza zoona nokha ndikukumana nawo, palibe chifukwa choganiza kuti sadzayamba chinyengo pang'ono mtsogolo. Kodi mungakonze bwanji kukhulupirirana muubwenzi woterewu?

11. Muli ndi matumbo amphamvu kumverera

Mumaona ngati chinachake chazimitsidwa koma simungathe kuika chala chanu pa icho. Chidziwitso chanu ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zamphamvu kwambiri za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi ndipo chinthu chabwino kwambiri kuchita pazochitika zotere ndikuzikhulupirira. Ngati china chake chikuwoneka ngati chalakwika, mwina ndi choncho. Thupi lanu liri ndi njira zolankhulirana nanu kudzera muzochita zanu. Mvetserani kwa iwo ndi kuchita mogwirizana.

Kudalirana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paubwenzi uliwonse ndipo ndi vuto loyamba pamene chinyengo chimayamba pakati pa awiriwa. Zimakhala zovuta kudziwa ngati mnzanu wakhala akunama kapena ayi, komanso zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuvomereza. Koma zotsatira za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi zimakhala zowononga kwambiri moti sizinganyalanyazidwe. Ngakhale kuti si zotsatira zonse za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi zomwe sizingasinthe, kuzinyalanyaza kumangowonjezera zinthu.

Njira zitatu Kusakhulupirika Kumakhudza Ubale

Kunama nthawi zonse kapena kukhala mobisa muubwenzi sikuthandiza, ndizomveka. Sikuti zimangoyambitsa kusweka kwa chikhulupiliro mu ubale, komanso zimatsogolera kukulankhulana kosakhazikika. Ngati munanamizidwa kapena mnzanuyo ali ndi chizolowezi chosunga zinthu kwa inu, mungakhale mukukayikira kusuntha kwawo kulikonse. Izi zimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wosagwira ntchito, kutali ndi malo otetezeka, otetezeka omwe amayenera kukhala. Tiyeni tiwone mwatsatanetsatane momwe chinyengo chimakhudzira pachibwenzi kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe simuyenera kuchiwona mopepuka:

1. Simudziwa nthawi yoti muziwakhulupirira

Ngati mwina muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wabodza kapena mukucheza ndi munthu amene nthawi zambiri amangopeka nkhani, mudzataya ubale wanu wamaganizo ndi wanzeru ndi iye. Mukawona kuti mnzanuyo sakukulankhulani bwino, zinthu zidzakhala zovuta ndipo mungamve kuti simukulemekezedwa. Izi zidzakupangitsani kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa simudziwa nthawi yomwe akukunamizani kapena ayi.

Ross, wowerenga ku Boston, adatiuza za bwenzi lake latsopano, Charlotte, ndi zizolowezi zake zabodza. Iye anati: “Ndinkamukonda kwambiri moti ndinayesetsa kunyalanyaza mabodza onse amene ankandiuza. Poyamba anali osavuta kuwerenga koma ndinkangowanyalanyaza, ndinkaganiza kuti anangochita zimenezi chifukwa cha chizolowezi chake. Koma patapita nthawi, ndinalephera kupirira.

2. Kudzimva wopanda ulemu

Chikondi si chinthu chokhacho chomwe chimasunga ubale. Nthawi zambiri chimakhala kusakaniza kwakukulu kwa kudalirana, chifundo, kulankhulana, ndi ulemu. Popanda ulemu, palibe ubale, ndichifukwa chake nthawi iliyonse ubale ukasokonekera, akatswiri azachipatala ndi akatswiri amayang'ana kwambiri pakukulitsa ulemu muubwenzi poyamba kenako ndikugwira ntchito pazinthu zina.

Koma munthu akamanama nthawi zonse, palibenso nkhani ya ulemu. Ngakhale kunama mwangozi, kungachititse munthu kudziona ngati wonyozeka ndiponso wosasamalidwa. Ulemu ukatha, pamakhala ubale wautali wokhazikika.

3. Wabodza amamaliza kudzinamizanso

Ndipo ndi pamene zinthu zimakhala zovuta kwambiri. Ubale wonse umayamba kumverera ngati kamvuluvulu wamalingaliro ndi kukhumudwa chifukwa palibe chomwe chimamva chenicheni. Osati ngakhale kwa amene akunama. Kaya akukana chowonadi mwachindunji, kupanga zochitika zatsopano, kapena kupanga chidziwitso chatsopano, zinthu ziyenera kutsika ndikuthamanga. Panthawiyi, kudalirana kwatha, chisokonezo ndi kusasangalala zalowa, ndipo chikondi chanu chikungolendewera ndi ulusi wosalimba.

Ngati mukukumana ndi zizindikiro zilizonse zomwe zili pamwambapa za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi, kumbukirani kuti sikuchedwa kwambiri kuchitapo kanthu. Mutha kuchitapo kanthu kuti muthetse vutoli ndikudziperekanso kwa mnzanu. Tikudziwa zomwe kusakhulupirika kumakhudza ubale ndipo takambirana zizindikiro zomwe zimafala kwambiri. Koma ngati muli ndi mafunso ena okhudza momwe chinyengo chimakhudzira maubwenzi ndi zomwe mungachite kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba komanso wowona mtima, katswiri wa zamaganizo angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino momwe mungathanirane ndi vutoli. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso ovomerezeka omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

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