Kodi munakumanapo ndi munthu amene anakuphulitsani mtima ndipo munasiya kusokoneza kutengekako ngati chikondi? Mwinamwake mudadzitsimikizira nokha kuti mwakumana ndi wokondedwa wanu. Koma mukazindikira kuti mumangoyang'ana mbendera zofiira kudzera m'magalasi owoneka bwino, dziko lanu likhoza kubwera mozungulira. Kumvetsetsa kusiyana pakati pa limerence vs chikondi kungakuthandizeni kuonetsetsa kuti izi sizikuchitikirani.
Koma nde nde mumachita bwanji kuyesera kudziwa kusiyana kwa chikondi ndi limerence mukakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kukhala mu gawo la kupembedza kosatha? Pakati pa kutengeka mtima kwanu, simungazindikire ngakhale kuvulaza komwe mukudzibweretsera nokha.
Kotero, limerence ndi chiyani? Kodi limerence imasanduka chikondi? Tiyeni tifufuze zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa katswiri wazamisala Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), woyambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe amagwira ntchito pa upangiri wamabanja komanso chithandizo chabanja.
Kodi Limerence N'chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Tisanalowe mu limererance motsutsana ndi chikondi, ndikofunikira kudziwa tanthauzo lakale. Devaleena anati: “Kwa munthu wodziŵika bwino, unansi ndi munthu wina uli chinthu chenicheni. Limerence ingafotokozedwe bwino lomwe kukhala mkhalidwe wamalingaliro pamene munthu akumana ndi malingaliro owononga kwambiri za wina, kaŵirikaŵiri mpaka kufika pamene kumatsogolera ku kutengeka maganizo kosayenera kumene kumawachititsa kunyalanyaza zosoŵa zawo.
Ganizirani izi motere: ndi kutengeka mtima…kuchulukitsa zana. Mukukumbukira kuphuka kwa chikondi chokoma chomwe chinakusiyani mukulota zakukhala ndi munthu ameneyo? Lingalirani mkhalidwe wamalingaliro amenewo, koma ndicho CHINTHU CHOKHA chomwe mungaganizire. Ngakhale zitha kuwoneka ngati izi, Devaleena akutiuza kuti limerence sizokhudza munthu wina. Zimene anthu amanena kuti “chikondi” ndi njira yopezera zinthu zoipa zimene munthu amafuna. “Sizimangonena za munthu winayo kapena mmene akumvera mumtima mwake, koma zimangokhudza kudzaza malowo.”
M'buku lake Chikondi ndi Limerence: Zomwe Mukukhala M'chikondi, Dorothy Tennov anayambitsa liwu lakuti “limerence”, akulilongosola kukhala “chikhumbo chachikulu cha kubwezerana maganizo, malingaliro okakamiza, ndi kudalira maganizo pa munthu wina.” Kuyitcha mlandu wa kudalirana mu ubale kungakhale kutsutsa kwakukulu.
Magawo a Limerence
Kukhala ndi limereance mu ubale si kophweka pa limerent munthu. Kuti muthe kugwira limerence msanga, kapena kuiwongolera, zingathandize kumvetsetsa magawo ake kapena kayendedwe kake. Limerence imadutsa mu magawo atatu, ofanana ndi magawo a chikondi kapena ubale uliwonse wachikondi.
1. Kutengeka maganizo
Katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America ndi katswiri wa zaukwati Dr. John Gottman amatcha gawo loyamba la ubale wachikondi ngati gawo la "kugwa m'chikondi". Kaya ndi chiyanjano chokhazikika kapena ayi, gawo loyamba la chiyanjano limadziwika ndi zizindikiro zofanana ndi limerence. Wina amakhudzidwa ndi kuchuluka kwa mahomoni ndi makemikolo omwe amakulitsa momwe amamvera ndi mnzake. Chikhumbo champhamvu chimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira zilizonse. Apanso, izi ndi zoona kwa mitundu yonse ya maubwenzi achikondi, olemekezeka kapena athanzi.
Koma pankhani ya ubale wamakhalidwe, panthawiyi, munthu amayendetsedwa ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuyandikira pafupi ndi chinthu chomwe akufuna kapena LO (Limerent Object) mosasamala kanthu za yankho kapena ndemanga zomwe adalandira kuchokera kwa iwo. Limerent akufuna kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri ndi iwo ndikupanga kulumikizana kuti akhale otetezeka. Limerence vs kutengeka mtima ndizovuta kusiyanitsa mu gawo loyamba popeza onse amawoneka ofanana. Kusiyanaku kumamveka bwino pamene ubale ukupita patsogolo.
2. Crystallization siteji
Muubwenzi wabwino, pofika gawo lachiwiri, kutengeka mtima kumawoneka kuti kutha monga okondedwa pang'onopang'ono amakumana ndi zovuta komanso kuthetsa mikangano pamodzi. Mwina apambana m’mikanganoyo bwinobwino ndi kuphunzira kulolera mikanganoyo ndi kulimbikitsa mgwirizano wawo kapena chikondicho chimatha ndipo mikangano imatsala.
Koma pankhani ya chiyanjano cha limerence, panthawiyi, chithunzithunzi cha chikondi ndi chithunzithunzi chachikondi chimakhala chokhazikika kwambiri. Munthu wamanyazi amachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti awonetsetse kuti mbendera zofiira zimanyalanyazidwa. Mwachidule, limerence imawonekera kwambiri ndipo zizindikiro zake zimakhala zamphamvu kuposa kale.
3. Gawo la kuwonongeka
Muubwenzi wabwino, pofika gawo lachitatu, anthu okwatirana amakhala odzipereka kwa wina ndi mzake. Pambuyo pophunzira kuthana bwino ndi mikangano, mgwirizano wawo umakhala wolimba. Panthawi imeneyi, ubale wathanzi umakhala wokhazikika komanso wosangalatsa.
Koma mu chiyanjano chopanda thanzi, gawo ili limatchedwa moyenerera kuti gawo lowonongeka. Limerence pafupifupi nthawi zonse imatha panthawi inayake pambuyo poti munthu wamanyazi atayamba kukhumudwa ndi chinthu chodziwika bwino ndikukumana ndi zenizeni, kapena akuyenera kuthana ndi kukhumudwa kosatha ndi kukanidwa ndi kukhumudwa kosafunikira. Kuthetsa vuto si kusankha koma kumabwera ngati chinthu chodabwitsa kwa munthu waulemu.
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Kodi Limerence Ndi Yopanda Thanzi? Zotsatira Zoipa za Limerence
Devaleena anati: “Inde, kukhala wotopa kumatanthauza kutengeka maganizo mosayenera ndi munthu wina. Mukhoza kumukonda ndi kumukonda. Limerence ikhoza kukhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa m'maganizo komanso mwakuthupi pa munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto.
A kuphunzira kafukufuku pa chithandizo cha limerence anabwereza izi, ponena kuti, "Kupatukana ndi LO kumabweretsa zizindikiro zosiya monga kupweteka pachifuwa kapena pamimba, kusokonezeka kwa tulo, kukwiya, ndi kuvutika maganizo." Tidapempha Devaleena kuti afotokoze zambiri za izi. Anatchula zotsatirazi ngati zochepa mwa zotsatira zoyipa za limerence:
- Munthu amayamba kukhala m'dziko lopanda nzeru. Amakhala osagwirizana ndi zenizeni
- Limerence imabweretsa kuchepa kwa moyo wabwinobwino. Kukhala ndi moyo watsiku ndi tsiku kumasokonekera
- Zinthu zomwe zimakondweretsa munthu wodziwika bwino zimayamba kukhala pampando wakumbuyo
- Mayankho ku zinthu amakhala kwambiri
- Kusinthasintha kosalekeza pakati pa okwera ndi otsika kungayambitse nkhawa yayikulu komanso mantha
- Mmodzi amakankhidwira ku kupsinjika maganizo ndi kudzipha
- Zingayambitse khalidwe loumirira maganizo
- Wokhudzidwayo angayambe kusonyeza khalidwe lachiwawa kwa iyemwini ndi ena
- Limerence ndi zinthu ndizovuta kupatukana. Ngati munthuyo ali kale pachibwenzi, akhoza kumva kuti akukakamizika kubera ndikukhumudwitsa wokondedwa wawo ndi banja lawo.
Zizindikiro za Limerence
Zonse ndi zosangalatsa ndi masewera pamene mukuwerenga za izo, koma kwenikweni kuyesa kuletsa limerence vs kusiyana kwa chikondi kungakhale kovuta kwambiri popeza "chikondi" chimachititsa khungu ambiri. Ngati simukukhulupirirabe kuti kutengeka maganizo kumeneku ndi komwe mukukumana nako, tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro ndi zizindikiro zingapo kuti timvetsetse momwe mukumvera.
1. Simudziwa kuti iwo ndi ndani
Pamene mukukhala ndi limerence, mumakhala mukusankha zinthu za munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri. Lingaliro la yemwe munthuyo ali lilibe kanthu kwenikweni popeza, monga momwe Devaleena anatiuzira, ubalewu suli wa iwo.
M'maganizo mwanu, mwapanga mtundu wolemekezeka kwambiri, wokokomeza, komanso wabwino kwambiri wa munthu yemwe mukumufunira. Mukakhala nawo nthawi yambiri, kapena ngati mnzanu akufunsani kuti munthuyo ndi wotani, mudzazindikira kuti simukumudziwa monga momwe mumaganizira.
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2. Lingaliro lachibwanabwana
Kodi tsiku lanu logwira ntchito limaphatikizapo maola ndi maola ambiri oganiza mopambanitsa ponena za munthu ameneyu zomwe simungasinthe? Kodi mukuyang'ana mopambanitsa misonkhano/mayanjano aliwonse ndi munthu ameneyu, kuyesa kupeza tanthauzo lochulukirapo kuposa momwe ziyenera kukhalira? Mukuganiza zokhala mpulumutsi wawo ndikukonzekera tsogolo limodzi?
Ndiwo mtundu wakale wa a mgwirizano wamtendere. Zikafika poti malingaliro okhudza munthuyu amabwera mphindi zingapo zilizonse (monga masekondi 20 aliwonse) ndipo simutha kuwagwedeza, muyenera kuzitcha zomwe zili: kutengeka kosayenera.
3. Kudalira maganizo
Mwina chizindikiro chachikulu cha limerence ndi pamene muzindikira kuti chisangalalo chanu chimadalira munthu uyu. Ayi, sitikutanthauza chimwemwe chimene mumamva pamene mnzanu akukuyitanani, tikutanthauza kwambiri, kuwononga maganizo ngati chisoni chachikulu ngati kusweka kwanu sikukubwezerani malingaliro anu. Akayankha bwino, ndiye kuti mwatha mwezi. Akatenga maola angapo kuti abwerere kwa inu, mumagwera m'malo oda nkhawa kwambiri / opsinjika momwe mungathere.
4. Nkhawa ndi kusadzidalira zimalamulira zochita zanu
Aliyense amakhala ndi jitters tsiku loyamba lomwe akuyembekeza likuyenda bwino. Koma ngati nkhawa yanu yafika poti mumakumana ndi zizindikiro za thupi (kupuma pang'ono, kugunda kwa mtima, thukuta) chifukwa chakuti kusweka kwanu kwasonyeza kusakukondani, ndi chizindikiro chomveka bwino monga tsiku. Ngati mumada nkhawa nthawi zonse kuti mudziwonetsere momwe mungathere kwa munthu ameneyu, pamapeto pake zidzayambitsanso kusatetezeka.
5. Zina zonse ndi zachiwiri
Moyo monga mukudziwira kulibeko. Chokhacho chomwe chili chofunikira kwambiri ndikutenga chidwi cha kusweka kwanu ndikuchigwira, zivute zitani. Ntchito yanu, maphunziro, zokonda zanu, ndi maubwenzi ena zimakhala zachiwiri. Mukanyalanyaza china chilichonse m'moyo wanu ndikudziwuza nokha kuti chinthu chokhacho chofunikira ndi munthu uyu, ndi malo otsetsereka omwe amatsogolera kuzinthu zonse.
Tsopano popeza mukudziwa zizindikiro ndi zizindikiro za limerence, tiyeni tiwone za limerence vs chikondi, kotero mutha kudziwa kuti kutengeka komwe mukukumana nako sikuli kosiyana ndi chilichonse "chokongola", "chikondi" kapena "ubale wabwino".
Limerence Vs Chikondi: Zosiyana Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa
Zomwe ndimachita ndikungoganizira za iye, sindingathe kumuchotsa m'maganizo mwanga! Akutero John, pokambirana ndi mnzake za chibwenzi chake chatsopanocho. Pochichotsa ngati chikondi, sanayang'ane kwenikweni momwe "kuganizira za iye nthawi zonse" kungawononge iye kapena ntchito yake mwanjira iliyonse.
Pamene maganizo adatenga nthawi yake yonse yaulere, kudalira kwake kunakula kwambiri ndipo sakanatha ola limodzi popanda kumva kuchokera kwa iye, ndipo pamene adafika poti sanathe kugwira ntchito popanda kumuganizira kwa ola limodzi ndi theka ... ndipamene adadutsa mizere yoopsa pakati pa zomwe ziri zathanzi ndi zomwe siziri.
Zikumveka bwino? Tiyeni tione kusiyana, kotero inu musati mapeto molakwika mtundu woipitsitsa wa kutengeka maganizo pali monga kutengeka bwino kuti anthu akhoza kumva mu moyo wawo.
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1. Mbendera zofiira zonse zimawoneka zoyera
Pamene mukukhala ndi limerence, simudzawona chinthu chachikondi ichi kudzera m'maso omwe abwenzi anu onse kapena abale anu angawone. Mudzawawona kudzera m'magalasi amdima a kupembedza ndi kutengeka, kupangitsa kuwoneka ngati chinthu chilichonse chokhudza munthu uyu ndi changwiro. Kodi mukukumbukira zomwe zinakukhumudwitsani za kusweka kwanu komwe munamuyang'ana kuti mupitirize kukulitsa chikondi? Tikutsimikiza kuti miyezi itatu isanakwane, momwe amatafuna ndi kutseguka pakamwa zidakhala zosokoneza.
"Chifukwa chomwe samawona mgwirizano wofiira mbendera ndikuti pali chibadwa chofuna kudzaza chosowa mkati. Munthuyo amayang'ana kwambiri pa munthu uyu yemwe akuganiza kuti akhoza kudzaza chosowacho. Ngati avomereza mbendera zofiira ndikusiya munthu uyu, chopandacho chimakhalabe. Ndi chinthu chomwe munthu wotengeka mtima sangachite nazo, "akutero Devaleena.
2. Umataya mtima
Zikafika pa limerence vs chikondi, mwina kusiyana kwakukulu ndi momwe chikondi chimakulimbikitsirani kuti mukhale odziyimira pawokha, pomwe nkhani ya limerence idzachotsa malingaliro aliwonse aumwini. “Ndakhala ndi makasitomala amene satha kunena kuti mafilimu amene amakonda, mtundu wa nyimbo zimene amakonda, kapena zakudya zimene amakonda.” Azoloŵera kusangalatsa munthu wina, amasiya kudziona ngati ali payekha.
Devaleena anati: “Chivulazo chachikulu chimene munthu angachite mumkhalidwe wotero ndicho kunyalanyaza malingaliro, malingaliro, ndi zosoŵa zake.” M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, amayamba kudzimva kuti sakudziŵika bwino.
Nthawi ina mukadzanena kuti, “Kodi mungandisankhireko kena kake?”, mukakhala kumalo odyera limodzi ndi mnzanu, dzifunseni ngati n’chifukwa chakuti simukudziwa zimene mungakonde. Kodi umunthu wanu wasokonezedwa ndi misampha yotereyi yomwe mumatcha chikondi?
3. Pamene mukukhala ndi moyo wongokhala, mumadzinyalanyaza
Mukalola wokondedwa wanu kuti akupangireni zisankho zonse ndikudziuza kuti mumangosangalala ndi zinthu zomwe amasangalala nazo, zomwe mukuchita ndikudzinyalanyaza nokha ndi zosowa zanu. “Zili ngati akungofuna kupeza phindu.” Ngati anyalanyaza zofuna zawo ndi mmene akumvera mumtima mwawo n’kumasamalira anzawo, amatero n’cholinga chofuna kubwezera.
Devaleena anati: “Amakhulupirira kuti ngati akuika ndalama m’zinthu zina n’kunyalanyaza zofuna zawo, adzapeza zimene akufuna kuchokera kwa winayo. Tsoka ilo, zomwe akufuna ndikukwaniritsa kutengeka komwe kumawapangitsa kudzitaya. Pamene kugwa kwakuya mu siteji iyi ya limerence, kudzakhala kovuta kwambiri kuchotsa. Posachedwapa, mudzayamba kudzimvera chisoni.
4. Muyenera kuti munthu ameneyu adzimva kukhala wokwanira
Ayi, sitikulankhula za momwe mumanenera mokoma kuti, “Mundikwanitse”, kwa mnzanuyo. Pankhani ya limerence vs chikondi, izi zimakhala ndi tanthauzo lina. Popanda chinthu chopembedzedwa ichi, munthu wokhala ndi limerence amadzimva kukhala wosakwanira.
Monga ngati chinthu ichi "chidzapulumutsa" ndi "kukonza" iwo, akuyang'ana mwachidwi njira yothetsera kusakhutira kwawo komwe kumachokera. Chikondi, kumbali ina, chimakupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso otetezeka pamaso pa mnzanuyo, osati "wopulumutsidwa" kapena "wokhazikika". Pankhani ya limerence yosavomerezeka, izi zingayambitse kusadzidalira kwa munthu wodzikuza, zomwe zimawononga thanzi lawo lamaganizo ndi maganizo.
5. Chisangalalo cha kuthamangitsa chimatanthawuza zambiri mu nkhani ya limerence
Zedi, tsiku loyamba, kupsompsonana koyamba, ndi masabata angapo oyambirira onse amamva bwino mu chikondi chilichonse, koma sizomwe mukuyembekezera, chabwino? Chifukwa chake, pazomwe zikubwera, pali kusiyana kofunikira pakati pa kutengeka mtima. Lamlungu lomwe mumakhala m'nyumba, kuchuluka kwa chitonthozo chomwe mumapeza, ndi mayina oti mumapatsana wina ndi mnzake zimayamikiridwa mofanana muubwenzi wabwino.
Komabe, m’magawo a uchembere, kuthamangitsa ndi kumene kumakokera munthu. “Limerence vs chikondi n’kovuta kukambirana chifukwa onse aŵiri akhoza kulakwiridwa ndi ena.” Kusiyana kwakukulu n’chakuti chikondi chimafuna kugwirizana kwenikweni, kwatanthauzo pamene choyambiriracho ndicho chisangalalo cha kuthamangitsa pamene mukungofuna munthu wina,” akutero Devaleena.
6. Nthawi zambiri palibe kudzipereka
Kodi pali njira ina yabwino yosonyezera chikondi kuposa kunena ndi kutanthauza kuti “Ndikufuna kukalamba nanu”? M'mawu amenewa muli lonjezo la kudzipereka. Munthu wamanyazi, komabe, sangakhale wofunitsitsa kunena zimenezo. Nthawi zambiri amakhala kudzipereka phobes,” akutero Devaleena, “Mukayang’ana mbiri ya munthu ameneyu, mwinamwake mungaone kuti akuchokera m’mabanja osokonekera, kumene angakhale anachitiridwapo nkhanza mwanjira inayake.
“Atazindikira kuti kudzipereka m’maubwenzi awo oyambirira kunali kovuta, kuipidwa nawo kumayamba. Akakula opanda chitsanzo chosonyeza kudzipereka ndiponso pamene akuchitiridwa nkhanza, n’zosavuta kuona chifukwa chake zili choncho.” Chifukwa chake, ngati mumadzifunsa ngati, "Kodi limerence imatha nthawi yayitali bwanji?", ngakhale itha kukhala nthawi yayitali kuti iwononge zochita zanu zatsiku ndi tsiku, sizitenga nthawi yayitali kuti isinthe kukhala kudzipereka kopindulitsa.
7. Kusasangalala kumabwera chifukwa chosowa chimwemwe
Devaleena anati: “Chinthu chokhacho chimene munthu wodziŵika bwino amafuna kuchita ndicho kupanda chimwemwe kwachibadwa kumene amakhala m’kati mwake, kumene akuyesera kukhutiritsa kupyolera mwa munthu wina,” akutero Devaleena, “ayenera kuchitapo kanthu mosangalala, kusangalala, kusangalala, ndi kuthamanga kwa adrenaline kumeneku.”
Chifukwa chake palibe kudzipereka, chifukwa chake palibe kuganiziridwa kwa mbendera zofiira, ndi chifukwa chake akuyang'ana kuti akwaniritse chosowa, ndi chifukwa chakuti alibe chisangalalo kuchokera mkati. Kusowa kwachibadwa kumawapangitsa kufunafuna mayankho kwina. Ndi chiwembu chofuna kudzisokoneza okha. Ngati mukuyang'ana chimodzi mwazizindikiro zomwe limerence ikutha, imayamba mukatha kukhala okhutira ndi inu nokha.
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Momwe Mungasamalire Limerence - Dziwani Kuchokera kwa Katswiri
Tsopano popeza mwamvetsetsa bwino lomwe limerence muubwenzi ndi momwe zingakuvutitseni ndikuwononga moyo wanu, ndikofunikira kuti mukhulupirire kuti pali njira zowongolera zowongolera. Kuti muchepetse kukhumudwa, muyenera kudzidziwitsa nokha za momwe mukumvera, kuyankha pazochitika zanu, ndikupeza mayankho. Devaleena amalimbikitsa izi:
1. Osalumikizana
Devaleena anati: “Njira imodzi yokha yothandiza kwambiri ndiponso yokhalitsa yothetsa vuto la kuvutika maganizo ndi imodzi yokha. The kuphunzira kafukufuku tidatchula kale m'nkhaniyi akuti, "(Alangizidwa) kuti odwala apewe kukhudzana ndi LO, monga momwe munthu yemwe ali ndi Vuto la Kugwiritsa Ntchito Mankhwala Osokoneza Bongo amayesa kuthetsa kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo."
Devaleena akuwonjezera kuti, "Izi zingafunike kusintha kwambiri moyo wanu. Muyenera kusiya kukumana ndi chinthu/munthu amene mukufuna, pamaso panu komanso pafupifupi. Ngakhale zitatanthauza kusintha malo anu okhala kapena ntchito.
2. Kulitsani kudzizindikira
Devaleena akuti, "Chomwe mukufunikira ndikufufuza zenizeni nthawi zonse. Muyenera kudzidziwa nokha komanso moona mtima pazomwe mukufunikira. Ndi chiyani chomwe chimakupangitsani kuti muyambe kukondana. Kodi ndi chiyani chomwe chimakuyambitsani?
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3. Khalani ndi nthawi yabwino ndi inu nokha
A kuphunzira kafukufuku pa chithandizo cha limerence chimati, “Kulitsani zizoloŵezi zotha kusintha zimene zingasemphane ndi chikhulupiriro (chanu) chimene munali nacho kale chakuti (muyenera) kudalira miyambo yodziŵika bwino kaamba ka chitsimikiziro, mkhalidwe wamoyo wabwino, kapena kuchepetsa kunyong’onyeka.” Kafukufukuyu akukulangizani kuti mufunika "(...) mndandanda wazinthu zomwe zingakupatseni kulumikizana komanso maubwino ena monga kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena kuchita bwino."
Devaleena akunenanso kuti, "Kudzikonda ithandiza. Pezani luso latsopano, konzekerani zakudya zanu, mupumule mokwanira, yesetsani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kapena masewera olimbitsa thupi. Kwenikweni, pezani njira zodzikonda ndikudzisamalira nokha. ” Lingaliro ndiloti kumanganso ubale wanu ndi inu nokha kumakupatsani mwayi wokhala ndi maubwenzi abwino ndi anthu ena okuzungulirani.
4. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri
Devaleena akuti, "Anthu onse otchuka nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi vuto la kukhulupirirana. Kapena angakhale akuvutika ndi njira zopewera kapena kusadzikonda, komanso kulephera kupanga zibwenzi zotetezeka. Thandizo laukatswiri lochokera kwa akatswiri omwe ali ndi chilolezo komanso wodziwa zambiri atha kukuthandizani kuti muyambitse zovuta zanu ndikuzithetsa pang'onopang'ono komanso mwanzeru.
Kulimbana ndi kutengeka kwamtundu wina kumatha kukhala nthawi yovuta kwambiri m'moyo wanu. Mwinanso mungazindikire kuti vuto lonseli silili bwino kwa inu koma kukana kuwayimbira kawiri mphindi 10 zilizonse kungakusiyeni kuyabwa ndi kukanda. Ngati mukupita ku limerence kapena china chofananira, Bonobology ili ndi akatswiri odziwa zambiri amene angakonde kukuthandizani mu nthawi yovuta iyi m'moyo wanu.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Limerence angafotokozedwe ngati mkhalidwe wamalingaliro pamene munthu akumana ndi malingaliro owononga kwambiri za mnzake
- Limerence ndi kutengeka kosayenera ndipo kumatha kukhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa m'maganizo ndi thupi kwa munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto, monga kupweteka pachifuwa kapena pamimba, kusokonezeka kwa tulo, kukwiya, komanso kukhumudwa.
- Limerence imabweretsa kuchepa kwa moyo wabwinobwino wa munthu wamba pomwe amadzipatula ku zenizeni. Kusinthasintha kosalekeza pakati pa kukwera ndi kutsika kumayambitsa nkhawa yayikulu komanso mantha
- Yankho limodzi lothandiza kwambiri komanso lalitali la limerence ndiloti munthu wodziwika bwino asakumane ndi chinthu chodziwika bwino kapena chinthu chomwe akufuna.
- Limerence imathanso kuyang'aniridwa mwa kudzidziwitsa, kuyika nthawi yabwino ndi inu nokha, kuchita zoseweretsa, kuphunzira luso lina ndi zina, komanso mothandizidwa ndi alangizi akatswiri.
Kumvetsetsa ndi kufananiza limerence vs chikondi si chinthu chophweka, chifukwa chikhalidwe cha pop chingatipangitse kuti tikhulupirire kuti chikondi chopitirira muyeso chomwe mumadutsamo ndi gawo loyenera kukondedwa. Ngati mukusokonezekabe pa zomwe mukumva, ngati mukudzifunsabe, "Kodi limerence imasandulika chikondi?", mutawerenga zonse zomwe takambirana lero, mwina mukulowera ku chinthu chamatsenga. Tikukhulupirira kuti malangizo omwe takupatsirani lero akupatsirani chidziwitso chaumwini ndikukuthandizani kusankha njira yabwino kwambiri.
Ibibazo
Inde, n’zothekadi kukondana popanda kungokhala chete. Chikondi chimakulimbikitsani kuti mukhale odziyimira pawokha, pomwe wina yemwe amakuthandizani amakhala pafupi ndi inu njira iliyonse. Limerence, kumbali ina, imakukakamizani kukhala ndi malingaliro opambanitsa omwe angasokoneze moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku.
Limerence imatanthauzidwa ngati malingaliro ovutitsa komanso olowerera kwa munthu, kudalira pamalingaliro, komanso kulakalaka kwambiri kubwezerananso. Zonsezo zikuwoneka ngati kulira kwakutali ngati mutatifunsa.
Ndizovuta kutchula nthawi yeniyeni ya ubale womwe ulipo, koma kuyerekezera kwakukulu kungakhale paliponse pakati pa miyezi itatu mpaka makumi atatu ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi.
Chikondi ndi kuleza mtima sizili zofanana. Limerence sangasinthe kukhala chikondi. Komabe, pambuyo pochiritsa nkhani zozama zomwe zidayambitsa kusakhazikika mwa munthu wodzikweza komanso kusintha malingaliro awo, amatha kukhala ndi ubale wozikidwa pachikondi ndi munthu wina.
Limerence sichingasinthe chikondi chenicheni, komanso sichingakhale chikondi chenicheni. Ngakhale kuti chikondi ndi kulumikizana kwatanthauzo pakati pa anthu awiri, limerence ndi kutengeka kosayenera ndi munthu wina chifukwa cha zongopeka komanso chifukwa cha zovuta zamaganizidwe. Limerence alibe chochita ndi chikondi chenicheni.
Limerence sikufanana ndi chikondi chosayenerera. Chikondi chosayenerera ndi chikondi cha mbali imodzi. Ndizotheka kutero kukonda munthu wakutali ngakhale pamene chikondi sichibwezedwa ndi munthu wina. Koma, limerence ndi kutenga chikondi unrequited patali, osalola izo kupita, ndi kulola izo kusokoneza thanzi la munthu, maubwenzi ena, ntchito etc. Chikondi unrequited si zoipa koma limerence ndi.
Kodi Kuphwanya Kumatenga Nthawi Yaitali Bwanji Ndipo Njira 11 Zothetsera
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
