Katswiri Watiuza Zomwe Zimakhala M'maganizo mwa Munthu Wachinyengo

Kaya ndi chidwi chambiri chomwe chakufikitsani kuno kapena mukukumana ndi tsoka lakusakhulupirika, chinsinsi chakumbuyo kwa malingaliro a munthu wachinyengo mwina chakusokonezani. Ndipo pamene akuyankha funso lanu, "Chifukwa chiyani munachita izi?" zimakusiyani othedwa nzeru, mukudziwa kuti ndinu ambiri azachipatala odziwa zambiri kuti amvetse bwino kuchokera kwa iye. Sangobwera kwa inu ndikukuuzani chifukwa chake ndi momwe zilili. Ndiyeno, kodi tingatsatire bwanji maganizo a munthu wachinyengo?

Kodi mwina ndi vuto la kuonera mopitirira muyeso? Kodi maganizo okhudza kubwezera amaoneka bwanji kwa amuna? Kodi pali chowonadi chilichonse pa momwe amanenera kuti zangochitika kumene ? Monga momwe mumamvera kumapeto kwa mkangano woipa ndi iye, mwina mumakhala ndi mafunso ambiri kuposa mayankho.

Musadandaule, takupatsani zonse zomwe mukufuna. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Pragati Sureka (MA mu Clinical Psychology, katswiri wa zamaganizo wochokera ku Harvard Medical School), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa munthu payekha kudzera muzinthu zokhudzana ndi malingaliro, wabwera kuti atithandize kumvetsa bwino maganizo a munthu amene amachita zachinyengo.

Kuwona M'malingaliro a Munthu Wachinyengo: Zomwe Amaganiza

Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani m'maganizo mwa munthu pamene akubera? Kodi akuzindikira kukula kwa mkhalidwewo? Kapena kodi nzoona kuti kusirira kungathedi kuchititsa khungu munthu mpaka kufika pamene “Sindinali kuganiza” kwenikweni? Ndipo pamene ife tiri pa izo, kodi chilakolako kwenikweni chifukwa chokha chimene amuna amene ali ndi zibwenzi? Maganizo a munthu wonyenga sikophweka kuyenda, koma n'zothekadi.

Monga momwe zamaganizo zokhudzira chinyengo zingakuuzeni, kusilira sizomwe zimamulimbikitsa, makamaka pamene akuberabe atagwidwa. Zodzilungamitsa zomwe adapereka zidakupangitsani kuti musamamve bwino koma zitha kukhala chifukwa cholephera kufotokoza zomwe akumva.

Kuti mupeze makanema ambiri a akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.

Zachidziwikire, zifukwa za kusakhulupirika zimasiyana malinga ndi munthu ndi munthu. Machitidwe a ubale wawo, momwe adaleredwera, ndi momwe amaonera dziko lapansi - zonse zimagwira ntchito yofunika kwambiri pakuzindikira malingaliro a mwamuna wonyenga. Komabe, kuphunzira mozama za malingaliro a mwamuna wonyenga kumapanga phunziro losangalatsa, makamaka popeza ndizodziwika bwino kuti amuna ndi omwe nthawi zambiri amachita chinyengo . Tiyeni tiwone mfundo zamaganizo zokhudza chinyengo , udindo wa munthu wosazindikira, zinthu zomwe angadziuze yekha, ndi zinthu zomwe amamva pambuyo pake.

Mfundo Zamaganizo Zokhudza Kubera Amuna

Ngati wina akufunadi kudziwa zomwe zimachitika m'mutu mwake ngati mwamuna amabera kangapo kapena kumvetsetsa za psychology chifukwa chachinyengo, zingakhale zothandiza kuzindikira zotsatirazi:

1. Malinga ndi phunziro ndi American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 25% ya amuna okwatira akhala ndi zibwenzi kunja kwa banja.
2. ena ziwerengero kuthandizira kuti 70% mwa anthu onse aku America amabera nthawi imodzi pa moyo wawo waukwati
3. Monga pa a Kafukufuku yemwe adanenedwa ndi BBC, 70% ya amuna avomereza kuti adanyenga

Tsopano popeza tazindikira kuti amuna ali ndi vuto lalikulu pakubera, tiyeni tiwone mwatsatanetsatane zomwe zimapangitsa izi:

1. Maganizo a mwamuna wonyenga: Angakhale akufunafuna kugonana 

Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani m'maganizo mwa munthu akamanyenga? Mosadabwitsa kwa aliyense, kuzembera kwake mwina kunali kosonkhezeredwa ndi kufuna kukhutiritsa kugonana. “Nthawi zambiri, maganizo a mwamuna wobera amakhala osadziletsa ndipo amafanana pang’ono ndi amene amagula zinthu popanda kuganizira zotsatirapo zake n’kuthana nawo pambuyo pake. 

“Kusadziletsa kungamupangitse kukhulupirira kuti ayenera kukhutitsidwa nthawi yomweyo ndipo ayenera kupeza zomwe akulakalaka,” akutero Pragati . Pachifukwa chabwino, anthu ambiri amalumikiza kusakhulupirika ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana. Mwina chomwe chimalimbikitsa kwambiri ndi kufunikira kugonana, koma sichomwe chimalimbikitsa chokha.

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2. Mavuto apakati kapena kukana ukalamba kungayambitse kusakhulupirika

Pragati amatiuza zonse za momwe zovuta zapakati pa moyo zingayambitsire mantha okalamba ndi kufa, ndipo nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa kusakhulupirika. “Pamene tidzimva kukhala osayenera kapena osadzimva kukhala oyenerera mokwanira, timakana zimene zikuchitika mkati mwathu.

"Mwamuna angaganize kuti akumva wokongola komanso wamphamvu chifukwa cha chibwenzi, kenako n’kudzipatula ku mantha ake a imfa omwe amabwera chifukwa cha vuto la pakati pa moyo . Komanso, amuna ambiri amayamba kukhala ndi mavuto a ntchito pakati pa moyo wawo. Pofuna kudzudzula ndi kukakamiza okondedwa awo, amayesa kukhutitsidwa ndi munthu wina. Kawirikawiri, akuyesera kukana zomwe akukumana nazo."

“Njira yothanirana ndi imfa ya unyamata ndiyo kufunafuna chithandizo, kuchita maseŵera olimbitsa thupi kapena kuchita zinthu zatanthauzo.” Chimene chimasonkhezera amuna ena kuchita chisembwere chimadalira chitsanzo cha mkhalidwe wamtengo wapatali umene ali nawo, kusadziletsa ndi kukana kuvomereza zimene akukumana nazo,” akuwonjezera motero.

Ndiye, maganizo a wachinyengo ndi otani? Monga mukuonera, zimatengera mkhalidwe wamaganizo wa mwamunayo ndi nyengo ya moyo umene iye alimo. Zododometsa zimene zimachitika m’vuto lapakati pa moyo likhoza kukankhira anthu kuchita zinthu zimene anganong’one nazo bondo ndipo n’zosadabwitsa kuti kusakhulupirika ndi nkhani yobwerezabwereza pazochitika zoterozo. 

3. “Aliyense wondizungulira amatero, chifukwa chiyani sindiyenera kutero?” 

Mukayang'ana zizindikiro zochenjeza za chinyengo , mwina simungasamale kwambiri anthu omwe mwamuna amakhala nawo nthawi zonse. Chomwe anthu ambiri sadziwa ndichakuti gulu la anzawo limakhudza kwambiri momwe malingaliro awo amakhalira.

"Ngati gulu la anthu limangokhalira kutsutsa akazi, amatha kunyenga." Ndi zophweka monga choncho. Komano, ngati muli ndi maubwenzi othandizira ndi amuna ena, komwe mumagwirizanitsa zolinga zomwe mukugawana kapena masomphenya a moyo, kutsutsa chiwerengero cha 'zigoli' kapena 'kugunda' komwe muli nako sikudzakhala ngati mfundo zomangira, "akutero Pragati. 

Ngati mwaona kuti anzake nthawi zonse amalankhula zoipa za akazi awo akabwera kunyumba kwanu kudzamwa mowa kapena m'modzi mwa iwo mwina wanenapo mawu oipa kwa inu, musadabwe kwambiri mukaona zizindikiro zakuti akubera pafoni yake. Mawu oipa okhudza kudana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena mawu okayikitsa akamalankhula za akazi ndi omwe amangofunika kuti amuna asamamvere chisoni. Mwa amuna omwe ali ndi zibwenzi , omwe amanena zinthu monga, "Muyenera kuwona zomwe anzanga amachita, ine ndine woyera mtima poyerekeza ndi ine", ndi omwe ali pamwamba pa mndandanda.

4. Angakhale akuyesera (mosapambana) kulimbana ndi kudziona ngati otsika 

“Maganizo a munthu wobera angayambitsidwe ndi kudziona ngati wosafunika.” Ndipo pamene munthu akuona kuti akusoŵa m’dera linalake, angakonde kubisa zimenezo ndi kukana, popeza kuti kuchita zimenezo n’kosavuta kusiyana ndi kuvomereza ndi kuchitapo kanthu. 

“Akhoza kudzudzula mnzake ponena zinthu monga, “Ndikadapeza zimene ndinkafuna kunyumba, sindikanayang’ana panja.” Nthaŵi zambiri, amuna amene amati akazi awo “awonda” kapena asiya “kudzigwirira ntchito okha,” akutero Pragati. 

Ngati mwamuna wachita zachinyengo kangapo, n'zotheka kuti sakukonda kwambiri munthu wina koma akungofuna kupirira. Kodi anthu ochita zachinyengo amamva bwanji za iwo okha ? Mukamayesa kumvetsetsa zizolowezi ndi machitidwe a zamaganizo obwerezabwereza achinyengo, mungaone kuti nthawi zambiri ndi zofooka zawo zomwe zingawapangitse kufunafuna chitsimikizo kunja kwa ubale wawo woyamba.

5. Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani m'maganizo mwa munthu akamabera? Zosintha m'banja zitha kuchitika 

“N’kutheka kuti amuna ena amene ali ndi zibwenzi anali ndi akazi opondereza kwambiri ngati amayi awo, n’kutheka kuti ankadziona kuti ndi oponderezedwa kapena kuti ankakangana kwambiri kapenanso kumenyedwa kumene. 

Pragati anati: “Monga chotulukapo cha kukula ndi mayi wolamulira, iwo sadziwa kuti angathedi kukambitsirana moona mtima ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo.” Paubwenzi wolimba, chinthu chabwino koposa ndicho kulankhulana wina ndi mnzake. 

Makhalidwe a m'banja omwe munthu amakumana nawo akamakula amatha kudziwika kuti ndi ndani. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti ana omwe amakumana ndi makhalidwe abwino a m'banja akamakula amakhala ndi mwayi waukulu wokhala ogwirizana bwino komanso makolo abwino mtsogolo.

Mfundo za m’maganizo zokhudza kubera zimatiuza kuti pankhani ya kusakhulupirika, nthaŵi zonse pali zinthu zambiri zofunika kuziganizira pambali pa zimene munthu akuganiza. Zokumana nazo zaubwana zomwe akhala nazo, momwe amaleredwera, ndi zomwe amaganiza za maubwenzi, zonsezi ndi mbali ya kusakaniza. 

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6. Angakhale akuyesera “ngakhale mphambu” 

Kapena, mwina sakusangalala ndi chibwenzicho. Katswiri wa zamaganizo wobwezera amatiuza kuti amuna nthawi zambiri amakonza zochita zawo podzudzula chibwenzi chawo chifukwa chosakwaniritsa zosowa zawo. Pragati amatipatsa chithunzithunzi chakuya cha nkhaniyi. "Anthu ambiri, makamaka achinyamata, amaganiza kuti kutumiza uthenga wamphamvu kotero kuti palibe chifukwa chofotokozera kusasangalala kwawo mu chibwenzicho . M'malo mokambirana zomwe zikusoweka, angasankhe kuchita zachinyengo m'malo mwake, kutumiza uthenga."

"Anthu akachita chinthu choterocho, ndi chizindikiro chowoneka bwino cha kusowa kwa udindo ndipo nthawi zambiri chimafotokoza maganizo a mwamuna wonyenga. Amakhulupirira kuti zochita zawo zidzawafotokozera iwo, kotero iwo sakuyenera kutero. M'malo mwake, amasonyezanso mantha a kulankhulana. Simuyenera kunyenga kuti mutumize uthenga, koma maganizo a mwamuna wonyenga angamuuze mosiyana."

7. Angakhalenso sadziwa zachinyengo chake 

Ngakhale kuti munakambiranapo momveka bwino za malamulo a munthu wokhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi ndipo munaikapo malire omveka bwino pa nkhani ya kugonana ndi munthu wina, kodi munayamba mwakambiranapo zinthu monga kutumizirana mameseji kapena kukopana ndi anthu ena kudzera m’mameseji? Ndi kusatsimikizika kwa mitundu ina ya kubera komwe kungamupangitse kuti asadziwe zomwe akuchita.

Nthawi zina, maganizo a munthu wachinyengo amakhala okonzeka moti sangazindikire kukula kwake. Pragati anati: “Kusintha kwa chikhalidwe nthawi zambiri n’kumene kumachititsa zimenezi,” anatero Pragati, “Wina angaganize kuti palibe vuto kutumizirana mameseji kapena kukopana.” Anthu amene asintha maganizo awo ndi amene angasiye makhalidwe oipa ngati amenewa. 

“Mwachitsanzo, tiyerekeze kuti mwadzidzidzi munayenera kutchula mawu a Chifalansa. Mungamvetse bwino kalembedwe ka mawu, koma katchulidwe ka mawu kadzatenga nthawi, sichoncho? Anthu ambiri sangadziwe kwenikweni kuipa kwa kutumizirana mauthenga olaula ndi kukopana kudzera m'mauthenga kapena mtundu wina uliwonse wa chinyengo . Angaganize kuti ndi chinthu chabwino kuchita, kapena chopanda vuto,” akutero Pragati.

8. Nthawi zina, maganizo a mwamuna wonyenga akhoza kukhala opanda 

Kutanthauza kuti mwina sakuganiza zambiri ndipo mwina ndi chifukwa chake akuberabe atagwidwa ndi inu kangapo. Mfundo za m'maganizo za kubera zimatiuza kuti ndizotheka kuti zochitika zomwe zingayambitse chinyengo, ndipo nthawi ngati izi, nthawi zambiri palibe kukonzekera kokwanira. 

"Zonsezi zimachokera ku kusowa mphamvu zodziletsa. Pambuyo pa chinyengo, ndawona amuna ena ali ndi zifukwa zomveka bwino ponena kuti zosowa zawo sizinakwaniritsidwe muukwati wawo. Zimasonyeza kudziona kuti ndi wosafunika kwenikweni, zomwe ziyenera kuthetsedwa mwachangu," akutero Pragati.

9. Kodi maganizo a munthu wachinyengo amakhala otani? Mawu amodzi: Narcissism

Ngati mukudziwa kuti mwakwatiwa ndi narcissist, musadabwe ndi kukhumudwa pazizindikiro kuti akubera foni yake. Inde, tikudziwa, tidanena kuti kusadzidalira kumatha kuyambitsa malingaliro amunthu wachinyengo. Koma mbali inanso ya kaŵirikaŵiri pali chibwenzi kapena mwamuna wamwano, amene angakhulupirire monyanyira kuti alidi ndi ufulu wokhutiritsidwa pogonana. 

Munthu amaona kuti ndi woyenerera ndipo angakhulupirire kuti akhoza kuchita chilichonse chimene akufuna popanda zotsatirapo zilizonse. 

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10. Lingaliro lopotoka la momwe chikondi chimayenera kumverera 

Ngati muli ndi munthu amene simunakhalepo pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali, angakusokonezeni nonse awiri kukhala m'banja Loweruka usiku pamene chibwenzi chanu chikusokonekera. "Nthawi zambiri, kunyenga kungakhalenso chifukwa cha chisokonezo pa momwe chikondi chiyenera kukhalira. Sangazindikire kuti chikondi chili ngati lawi loyaka pang'onopang'ono, makamaka muubwenzi wautali komanso wathanzi ."

Pragati anati: “Lingaliro la kungokhala chete limatha kupangitsa anthu kukhulupirira kuti nthawi zonse ayenera ‘kuthamanga’ akamaona munthu winayo.” Chifukwa cha chisokonezo chimene chilipo pakati pa kungokhala chete ndi chikondi, angayambe kukhulupirira kuti ubwenzi wawo ukusoweka m’mbali zina. 

11. Maganizo a munthu wonyenga pambuyo pa chinyengo: Kodi amadzimva kuti ndi wolakwa?

Kodi anthu onyenga amavutika? Monga momwe pangakhale lingaliro linalake lomwe linamupangitsa kuchita chigololo, zotsatira zake zimakhala ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro akeake, pankhani ya malingaliro a munthu wonyenga. Koma kodi maganizo a munthu wonyenga ndi otani akachita chigololo? Kodi amuna amavutika kuvomereza udindo?

Pragati amagawana nafe zomwe adawona panthawi yomwe amagwira ntchito ngati upangiri wazamisala. Malinga ndi zimene ndaona m’chipatala, amuna ambiri amadziona kuti ndi olakwa pa zimene achita.” Komabe, kuganiza bwino ndi njira zodzitetezera zimene amagwiritsira ntchito zikhoza kufika patali kwambiri.” Pamene kubwereza chinyengo cha maganizo kukuyamba, iye anganene motsimikiza kuti, “Sakusamalira zosowa zanga, choncho, zilibe kanthu.”

“M’zochitika pamene mwamuna samva chisoni chachikulu, nthaŵi zambiri amakhala chifukwa chakuti wakwiriradi unansi wake weniweniwo.

Kuthetsa vuto la zomwe zikuchitikadi ndi malingaliro a munthu wachinyengo, mwina chinthu chabwino kuchita ndicho kulankhula naye za izo. Koma pamene kukana kwake zinthu kapena kusowa kwa luso loyankhulana kumabweretsa zokambirana zosamveka komanso zosamveka bwino, mfundo zomwe takupatsani zidzakuthandizani kufika pamapeto.

Ngati muli pachibwenzi chomwe pakali pano mukulimbana ndi kusakhulupirika, Bonobology ili ndi akatswiri ambiri odziwa bwino ntchito omwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwanu, komanso anu.

Ibibazo

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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