Ndiyenera kuyamba ndi kunena kuti chimodzi mwamakhalidwe anga ndi kukhala olunjika kotheratu, ndipo nthawi zina kusalankhula kwanga kumandiika m’mavuto. Sindimaopa kuuza munthu kuti ali ndi zizolowezi zoipa zaukhondo, choncho sindidzakhala wovuta pamene ndikuuza wina kuti achoke kwa ine ngati akununkhiza kapena akuwoneka wonyansa.
Panalipo munthu uyu, Jacob, wodziwa bwino ntchito yanga, wobwerera ku Japan, wongobadwa kumene. Anali chete, koma sindinathe kukana kuyambitsa kukambirana, chifukwa anali wochititsa chidwi kwambiri. M’kupita kwanthaŵi, makambitsirano ameneŵa anatsogolera ku kukambitsirana kosangalatsa ponena za ukhondo waumwini ndi maunansi.
Chifukwa Chake Ukhondo Ndi Wofunika Pakugonana Kwabwino
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kukambitsirana kwathu kwakukulukulu kunali m’nthaŵi ya chakudya chamasana pamene ndinali kumgoneka ndi kumfunsa mafunso, ponena za tauni yakwawo, chifukwa chake anapita ku Japan ndi chifukwa chimene anabwerera. Kotero zinapezeka kuti anali ndi ntchito yabwino ku Kyoto ndipo anakumana ndi mtsikana wokongola kwambiri uyu. Posakhalitsa, anasamukira limodzi.
Pambuyo pa zaka khumi za kukhala pamodzi mosangalala, Yakobo anagonjera ku chitsenderezo chomakula chakuti akwatire mtsikana wa kwawo. Anacheza ndi mnzake za nkhaniyi ndipo anasiyana mwamtendere. Kenako anabwerera kwa makolo ake, ndipo kugwirizana koyenera kunakonzedwa ndipo anakwatira.
M'chaka chimodzi adasudzulana chifukwa cha kusagwirizana, zomwe zingakhale zovuta m'dera lachikatolika. Panthawiyi, ine ndi Jacob tinali titagwirizana kwambiri ndipo tinkagawana zinthu zambiri.
Ndinafufuza zifukwa zomwe zinamupangitsa kusudzulana , kodi mwina anali ndi chilakolako cha mtima ndi chibwenzi chake cha ku Japan? Koma Jacob anakana kuti sizinali choncho. Anamukhululukira chibwenzi chake chakale. Chifukwa chake chinali chovuta kwambiri kuposa pamenepo. Iye anati mkazi wake anali ndi zizolowezi zoipa zaukhondo ndipo anakana kuzisintha.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zolakwa za ukhondo zomwe mungakhale mukuchita musanayambe, panthawi kapena mutatha chibwenzi
Momwe Kusowa Ukhondo Kunapangitsa Kuti Banja Lanu
Jacob nayenso anali munthu woyera, koma sindinkaganiza kuti anali munthu wodzisunga kapena wodziletsa. Atandiuza kuti mkazi wake anali ndi zizolowezi zoipa zaukhondo, ndipo ndicho chifukwa chake adamusudzula, ndinadabwa. Kodi anthu adathetsadi maukwati chifukwa cha chinthu chonga ichi?
Koma ndinapeza kuti nkhaniyi sinali yopusa monga mmene ndinkaganizira poyamba. Atangoiphwanya ndi kufotokoza zomwe ankatanthauza ndi mawu ake, ndinamvetsa kufunika kokwatirana ndi munthu waukhondo.
Iye sakanathira phula kapena kuyeretsa
Ndinamufunsanso Jacob ngati akudwala OCD. Kenako analongosola - anali ndi tsitsi thupi lonse, zomwe anali nazo, chifukwa kupaka sera sikunali kofala masiku amenewo - 1999 kapena chapafupi.
Anali ndi tsitsi lalitali la m’khwapa ndipo sankafuna n’komwe kukambirana za madera akumunsi chifukwa anali okhumudwa kwambiri. Choncho kumayambiriro kwa ukwatiwo, iye anadzudzula mkazi wake, amene anakhumudwa kwambiri. Mkangano wake unali wakuti, "Ndine wopambana mendulo ya golide mu engineering, mungayerekeze bwanji kulankhula nane za tsitsi la thupi."
Msambo wake unali wonyansa
Anali wololera kuwonjezera kumeta zoseweretsa zosewerera nthawi yosamba, koma sakanasamba nthawi iliyonse akamakodzera, adatero nkhope yake itakwinya monyansidwa. Osatchulanso masiku omwe anali kusamba.
Sanasambe kwa masiku ambiri atatha kusamba, ndipo m’bafa munali zoyala ndi matamponi. Sanavutike kukambilana za ma period, koma ananyansidwa pang'ono pamene bafayo inasiyidwa mu chipwirikiti chotere.
Anali wozengereza kuyankhula za izi, koma mkati mwa masiku 4-5, amadya zakudya zake zonse pabedi ndipo osatsuka. Pazovala zake ndi pamapepala ake munali zothimbirira. “Ndinaganiza zogona pampando,” anatero Jacob.
Iye sakanati atsuke tsitsi lake
Ankagwiritsa ntchito mafuta a kokonati kutsitsi lake, kutulutsa fungo losasangalatsa. Anthu omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mafuta a mpiru amakhalanso ndi putrid aura yowazungulira.
Komabe, mkazi wake ankapaka mafutawa n’kuwatsuka kamodzi pamlungu. Kwa masiku otsalawo, ankafunika kupirira ndi fungo lakelo. Mosakayikira, kusowa kwake kwa zizolowezi zaukhondo ndi miyambo kumayikanso m'moyo wawo wogonana.
Kwa amuna ambiri, zonse zimangopeza dzenje loyenera ndikugwira ntchitoyo. Koma Yakobo, atatengera chitsanzo cha ubwenzi wapamwamba ndi wokondedwa wake wakale, anafuna zoposa zimenezo, ndipo ukhondo unali mbali yaikulu ya izo.
Ukhondo ndi waumwini, koma wofunikira muubwenzi
Poganizira nkhani ya Jacobo, sindimada nkhawa za ukhondo komanso ubwenzi wapamtima. Kutsuka maliseche mukakodza, komanso kukhala ometa/metedwa - ndithudi izi ndi ulemu wamba kwa matupi athu ndi anzathu. Komanso, si akazi okha. Pali madera omwe abambo amafunikira kudulidwa, zomwe ndikuganiza zimawonjezera ukhondo. Mbolo yosadulidwa imasonkhanitsa smegma, (kutuluka kwa sebaceous pakhungu, makamaka pansi pa khungu la mwamuna) komanso kununkhiza, kungayambitse matenda angapo mwa akazi omwe amagonana nawo.
Pamenepo ndinazindikira kuti zizolowezi zoipa zaukhondo zimasiyana kwambiri malinga ndi munthu. Koma, ngakhale kuti ndimadana ndi malingaliro oipa, sindingakane kuti ndakumanapo ndi anthu ochokera kudera lina la anthu omwe ali ndi makhalidwe ofanana a ukhondo.
Patapita zaka zingapo, mu 2001 ndinakumana ndi Jacob; anakwatiranso mtsikana wa ku tchalitchi chake ku Seattle. Ankawoneka wosangalala. Ndipo iye ankawoneka woyera kwambiri. Unali machesi opangidwa kumwamba.
Ibibazo
Ndi chizindikiro cha kusasamala, kusokonezeka ndi ulesi. Anthu omwe ali ndi zizolowezi zaukhondo angakhale onyansa kwambiri kugawana nawo nyumba.
Zizoloŵezi zaukhondo monga kusamba, kusamba m'manja, ndi chisamaliro cha mano ndizofunikira kuti tipewe matenda ndi kukhala aukhondo. Kupanda ukhondo kungakuchotsereni ntchito, bwenzi lanu, ndi zinthu zambiri m'moyo chifukwa palibe amene amafuna kukhala pafupi ndi anthu auve.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
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Nkhani
Mu 1999, ndinakwatiwa mu 1996 ndipo thupi langa lonse linali litapakidwa phula. Anali wotopa komanso wosafuna. Ndi chifukwa chomveka koma ndi anthu ochepa omwe amazinena.