Zinthu 7 Zofunika Kudziwa Zokhudza Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi Pamene Mudasiyana

Masewera onse a chibwenzi ndi ovuta monga momwe aliri. Tsopano ganizirani za zovuta zomwe zingakuvuteni ngati mukuganiza zokhala ndi chibwenzi pamene munapatukana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu koma osasudzulana. Ziribe kanthu momwe kulekana kunaliri kogwirizana komanso kogwirizana, nthawi zonse padzakhala malingaliro osathetsedwa ndi mkwiyo kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale komanso mosemphanitsa. 

Mpaka chisudzulo chitathe, malingaliro oipa awa sangangolepheretsa mwayi wanu wopanga ubale wolimba ndi munthu amene akufuna kukwatirana naye komanso ali ndi zotsatirapo zake mwalamulo. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kudziwa ngati mungathe kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina popanda kulekana mwalamulo. Mothandizidwa ndi loya Siddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), loya yemwe amagwira ntchito ku Khoti Lalikulu la India, tifufuza zonse zokhudza chibwenzi muli pabanja.

Iye anati: “Munthu akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina atapatukana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Komabe, ndi bwino kupewa kukhala pachibwenzi panthawi yopatukana mlandu komanso musanapatukane mwalamulo ngati mukukhala m'dera lomwe lingayesedwe motsutsana nanu m'bwalo lamilandu. Ndi mayiko 17 okha aku US omwe ali "opanda cholakwika". Chisudzulo chopanda chifukwa ndi kutha kwa ukwati kumene sikufuna umboni wa kulakwa kwa aliyense. 

Kodi Mungatani Kuti Mukhale ndi Chibwenzi Pamene Mukusiyana ndi Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Wanu?

Kusudzulana ndi njira yotopetsa maganizo ndi thupi. Anthu ambiri sangayembekezere kuti kusudzulana kumalizidwe kuti athe kupitiriza ndi moyo wawo. Ena amayamba chibwenzi chatsopano ngakhale asanasainire pangano lawo losudzulana chifukwa mwina ndondomeko ya kusudzulana ikutenga nthawi yayitali kapena angokumana ndi munthu watsopano ndipo sakufuna kuphonya. Koma kodi zimaonedwa ngati kunyenga ngati mwapatukana koma simunasudzulane?

Siddhartha akuyankha kuti, “Ayi, sikuti ndi chinyengo chifukwa mwapatukana kale ndipo mukukhala m’nyumba zosiyana. Ndipotu, anthu ambiri amasankha mwadala kuyamba chibwenzi kachiwiri panthawi yomwe akusiyana komanso asanalembe chikalata chomaliza cha chisudzulo. Komabe, ngati onse awiri akukhalabe m’nyumba imodzi koma ali ndi zipinda zosiyana ndipo mnzawo m’modzi yekha ndiye akuganiza zosudzulana, ndiye kuti izi zitha kutanthauzidwa ngati kusakhulupirika.”

Zovomerezeka zake pambali, muyenera kudzifunsanso, "Kodi mwakonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi?" Mutha kukhala pachibwenzi ngati mwasudzulidwa posachedwa ngati:

• Ndinu kwathunthu pa mnzanuyo ndipo samamva kugwirizana kulikonse ndi iwo
• Simukufuna kuyanjana nawo
• Mwaona ubwino ndi kuipa kwa kulekana kosatha kumeneku
• Mumadziwa zonse zokhudza chithandizo cha ana ndi kugawa katundu
• Simuli pachibwenzi kuti muthe kuwathetsa, kudzaza malo omwe muli mkati mwanu, kapena kuwachitira nsanje

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Mitundu Yopatukana 

Siddhartha anati: “Ndikofunikira kuzindikira kuti mawu olekanitsidwa kwenikweni ali mawu alamulo pamaso pa lamulo.” Kulekana kumatanthauza mkhalidwe wa unansi umene umapeza chifukwa chogwira ntchito ndi makhoti. Musanayambe chibwenzi mutapatukana, muyenera kudziwa kuti pali mitundu itatu yopatukana, ndipo iliyonse imatha kukhudza moyo wanu mosiyana. 

1. Kupatukana kwa mayesero kapena kulekanitsa momveka bwino

Kulekana kwa mayesero ndi pamene inu ndi mnzanu mukuwoneka kuti muli ndi mavuto ambiri ndipo mukuganiza zopuma pang'ono kuti musankhe zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu nokha ndi banja lanu. Panthawiyi, mumayamba kukhala m'nyumba zosiyana ndikuganiziranso za ubalewo. Zotsatira zake, mungasankhe masewera olimbitsa thupi a maanja kuti muthane ndi mavuto anu kapena kuzindikira kuti simungathe kuchita bwino ndikusankha kusudzulana. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu muli mu gawo ili, ndiye kuti ndi bwino kuthetsa mavuto angapo:

• Momwe mungasamalire ndalama
• Kulera anzawo
• Ndani adzakhale m'nyumba ya banja
• Migwirizano yakulekanitsa monga ngati mukuloledwa kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ena panthawiyi 

2. Kulekana kotheratu

Ngati mukukhala kale kutali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo mulibe zolinga zobwererana, ndiye kuti gawolo limadziwika kuti kulekana kosatha. Musanafike pamlingo uwu, muyenera kulankhula ndi maloya othetsa banja kuti mudziwe za kugawa katundu, kugawana katundu, chithandizo cha ana, ndi zina zotero. 

3. Kulekana Mwalamulo

Kulekana mwalamulo n’kosiyana ndi kusudzulana mwalamulo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Sichifanananso ndi chisudzulo. Kusiyana apa ndikuti ngati muli pachibwenzi mutasiyana mwalamulo, simungakwatirane ndi munthuyo. Mungakwatire kokha ngati mwasudzulana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Koma chigamulo cha khoti chopereka chisamaliro cha ana, kugaŵana katundu, ndi kulandirira ndalama zonse n’chimodzimodzi ndi kusudzulana. 

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Zinthu 7 Zofunika Kudziwa Zokhudza Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi Pamene Mudasiyana

Polankhula za zotsatira zalamulo ndikuyankha funso lakuti, kodi mungathe kukhala pachibwenzi mutapatukana, Siddhartha akuti, "Mosasamala kanthu kuti kupatukana kwanu kudzachititsa kuti muthe kutha kapena ayi, chibwenzi panthawi yolekana komanso chisudzulo chisanayambe chingakhale ndi zoopsa zake. Kodi ngozizi ndi ziti? Dziwani m'munsimu zinthu zomwe muyenera kudziwa zokhudza chibwenzi pamene munapatukana. 

1. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhoza kukusumirani chifukwa choti simukukondani 

Inde, mnzanu wa muukwati angakutsutseni chifukwa chothetsa ukwati chifukwa cha kusagwirizana kwa chikondi. M'mayiko ena, izi ndi mlandu. Kusagwirizana kwa chikondi ndi kusokoneza ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Kumachitika ndi munthu wachitatu popanda chifukwa. Uwu ndi mlandu wa milandu ya anthu, womwe nthawi zambiri umaperekedwa motsutsana ndi okondana a chipani chachitatu, womwe umabweretsedwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi amene wapatukana chifukwa cha zochita za munthu wachitatu.

Siddhartha anati: “Mkazi wanu akhoza kuimba mlandu aliyense amene muli naye pachibwenzi chifukwa choti sanakukondeni, kapena kukuimbani mlandu chifukwa cha chigololo ndi kuchigwiritsa ntchito ngati maziko a chisudzulo.

2. Muyenera kukhala okhazikika pazachuma 

Pa nthawi yopatukana mwalamulo kapena kusudzulana, mungapeze kuti mukutaya ndalama mwachangu kwambiri kuposa momwe mungachitire. Izi zingayambitse nkhawa zambiri, chifukwa mumakhala nthawi yambiri mukuganizira za maakaunti akubanki, misonkho, ndi ndalama zomwe mumapeza pamwezi ndi mabilu anu. Kodi muli ndi mwayi wochita chibwenzi pakati pa zonsezi? Ndipo kodi chisankho chanu chofuna chibwenzi chingakhudze zotsatira za chisudzulo chanu ndikukusiyani mumavuto azachuma?

Siddhartha akuwonjezera kuti: “Kukhala pachibwenzi kungakhale nkhani yaikulu m’nkhani za kuchirikiza ana ndi kupereka malipiro m’maiko ena.” Khotilo limayang’ana ndalama ndi ndalama za mwamuna kapena mkazi aliyense kaamba ka chisamaliro cha mwana ndi chisamaliro cha mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. 

3. Osabisa chilichonse kwa okondedwa wanu watsopano 

Anthu osudzulana sayenera kubisira abwenzi awo atsopano chilichonse. Kusudzulana kwatopetsa kale. Kukhala ndi chibwenzi chomwe sadziwa chilichonse chokhudza kusudzulana kwanu kungapangitse zinthu kukhala zovuta kwambiri. Musadzinamize nokha, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndi mnzanu watsopano, makamaka ngati mukukhala kwa mnzanu watsopano. 

Ngati muli ndi ana ndipo mwasankha kulera ana pamodzi , ndiye kuti zimakhala zofunika kwambiri kuti mnzanu watsopano adziwike. Apo ayi, zingawakhudze kwambiri. Ndi bwino kuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu watsopano mwa kuwonekera poyera komanso mwaulemu. Izi zidzawathandiza kumvetsetsa vuto lanu mwachifundo.

4. Ganiziraninso za ubwenzi wapamtima ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale

Siddhartha akuti, "Pali mavuto ena okhudzana ndi kugonana omwe ayenera kuganiziridwa musanapite patsogolo ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu wina panthawi yopatukana kwanu. Muyenera kuganizira ngati mukuchitabe kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Anthu ena amakumanabe nthawi zina panthawi yopatukana kumeneku. Ngakhale simukuonana konse, mungakhalebe ndi mapulani oyesa kubwererana , kutengera momwe zinthu zikuyendera. Podziwa izi, sikungakhale kwanzeru kuyamba kugona ndi anthu ena."

Ngati muli ndi ubale wobwerezabwereza wogonana pakati pa inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, sizovuta kuona momwe zingasokonezere zinthu ndi bwenzi lanu latsopanolo pokhapokha ngati aliyense wokhudzidwa akudziwa chomwe chiri ndi kuvomereza momwe zinthu zilili. Ngakhale apo, pamene malingaliro atayika mu kusakaniza, mphamvu zimatha kukhala zovuta kwambiri. Izi sizingakhudze zotsatira za chisudzulo chanu komanso ubale wanu wachikondi watsopano. 

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5. Zinthu zoti mudziwe zokhudza chibwenzi mutapatukana - Muyenera kuchiza maganizo 

Siddhartha akufotokoza kuti, "Zingakhale bwino ngati mukuganizanso ngati muli okhazikika m'maganizo moti mungakhale pachibwenzi panthawiyi. Kupatukana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kungakupangitseni kuti mukhale ndi maganizo achilendo. Mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa kapena mantha ndi zomwe zikuchitika.

Kotero, ngati mukudabwa kuti, “Kodi ndingathe kukhala pachibwenzi ndili wosiyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu musanasudzulane?”, yankho ndi lakuti, inde, ngati mwachira ku vuto la maganizo lomwe mwakumana nalo pambuyo pa kusudzulana ndipo simukugwiritsa ntchito tsiku lobwerera m'mbuyoli kuti muchepetse malingaliro anu. Ngati muli ndi ana, ndikofunikira kuganizira ngati ali bwino ndi inu kukhala pachibwenzi pamene mwasiyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Ndipotu, ndi vuto lopweteka kwambiri kwa iwo. Kuchita chibwenzi muli pabanja koma mwasiyana sikungaganizidwe kuti ndi chigololo koma ana anu angakhumudwe atazindikira kuti makolo awo asamukira ndipo palibe mwayi woti muyanjanenso.

6. Pewani kutenga mimba 

Kutenga mimba mutapatukana kungakhale vuto linanso. Ngati mutenga mimba, khoti likhoza kuyimitsa chisudzulo mpaka mwanayo atabadwa. Munthu wobala mwanayo ayenera kutsimikizira kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wake si tate wa mwana wosabadwayo. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuti misonkho yomwe ili kale ikhale yovuta kwambiri ndi mayeso a DNA ndi mafunso a abambo omwe amaponyedwa pakusakaniza. Ngakhale mutagonana panthawi yopatukana, khalani osamala kwambiri ndipo muzigonana motetezeka nthawi zonse. 

7. Konzekerani ana anu ku kusintha kwakukuluku

Ngati pali wina amene adzakhudzidwa ndi kusudzulana kwanu ngati inu, ngati si choncho, ndi mwana wanu (ana anu). Miyoyo yawo idzasintha kwamuyaya, ndipo kwa iwo, zingakhale zoopsa. Pamene mnzanu watsopano alowa mu mgwirizanowu, zingapangitse kuti kusatetezeka kwa ana anu kukwere kwambiri. Ngakhale mutasankha kukhala pachibwenzi, onetsetsani kuti mukusunga ubale wanu wachinsinsi pokhapokha ngati muli otsimikiza za tsogolo lanu ndi mnzanu watsopanoyo komanso mpaka kusudzulana kuthe.

Ngati, pazifukwa zina sizingatheke, lankhulani nawo moona mtima momwe mungathere, ndi kuwatsimikizira kuti zimenezi sizidzasintha udindo wanu kapena malo anu m’miyoyo yawo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukukhala kwa mnzako watsopano, ndi bwino kuwafunsa ngati akufuna kukhala nanu kapena kunyumba kwawo yakale. 

Zochita Ndi Zosachita Zachibwenzi Titasiyana Koma Osasudzulana

Chisankho chokhala ndi chibwenzi musanasudzulane ndi chanu. Ngati mutasankha kupita mumsewu umenewo, ndikofunika kuthana ndi vutoli mosamala momwe mungathere. Nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuchita ndi zomwe musachite pochita chibwenzi mutasiyana:

Kusudzulana sikophweka kwa aliyense amene akukhudzidwa, ngakhale mutathetsa ukwati woopsa, ndipo kungaike thanzi la munthu pamalo amdima. Muyenera kukonzekera mokwanira. Ndi bwino kupewa chibwenzi mpaka nonse mutapatukana mwalamulo komanso kusudzulana m’maganizo. Komabe, ngati mukumva mwamphamvu kuti mwakonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi kachiwiri ndipo simukufunanso kuyimitsa moyo wanu, mulimonse momwe mungathere, pitirirani koma onetsetsani kuti simupanga chisankho popanda kuganizira zonse zomwe zingatheke.

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