Njira 11 Zokhalirabe Oganiza Bwino Pamene Chisudzulo Chitha

Kudutsa mu chisudzulo kumasokoneza inu. Kungoti munthu amene munakondana naye ndi kumukwatira ndi yemweyo amene simungakhale nayenso n’kokwanira kukukhumudwitsani. Inu ndi mnzanu wakale munayima patsogolo pa okondedwa anu ndi kulonjezana kuti mudzayimilira wina ndi mzake pazovuta ndi zovuta. Malonjezo athyoledwa ndipo chikondi kulibenso. Izi ndi zina mwazovuta komanso malingaliro oti asinthe. 

Mukuyamba kudzifunsa ngati munthuyu anali mnzanu wapamtima poyamba. Kaya chifukwa cha chisudzulo chanu chinali chiyani, ululu womwe mumamva komanso njira zosudzulana zingakhudze thanzi lanu la maganizo. Ndipotu, Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale imasonyeza kuti kusudzulana ndi chinthu chachiwiri chomwe chimadetsa nkhawa kwambiri anthu, chachiwiri pambuyo pa imfa ya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Ndicho chifukwa chake tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudutsa mu nthawi yovutayi.

Kuti tidziwe zambiri za momwe mungakhalire anzeru pamene mukusudzulana, tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Namrata Sharma (Masters in Applied Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa zaumoyo wamaganizo komanso wolimbikitsa SRHR ndipo ndi katswiri wopereka uphungu pa maubwenzi oipa, zoopsa, chisoni, nkhani zaubwenzi, nkhanza zokhudzana ndi amuna kapena akazi komanso nkhanza zapakhomo.

Iye anati: “Chinthu choyamba chimene muyenera kuchita mukasudzulana ndi kupeza gulu lokuthandizani.” Gulu lanu lothandizira likhoza kukhala anzanu ndi achibale anu kapena gulu lililonse lothandiza pa intaneti.

Njira 11 Zokuthandizani Kukhala Bwino Pamene Mukusudzulana

Mu dziko la zitsanzo, tingakhale ndi moyo wabwino kwambiri - ubwana wosangalatsa, mwamuna kapena mkazi wokondana, omvetsetsana ndi apongozi, ana abwino, okhoza kuchita zinthu zambiri, ukalamba wosadwala kwambiri, komanso imfa yopanda ululu. Komabe, chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri chimenecho ndi lamba wonyamulira katundu, chinthu chopangidwa ndi makina. Ndi chizimba. M'moyo weniweni, mudzakumana ndi mavuto ndipo mudzagwa nthawi zambiri. Ndi momwe mumadzisankhira nokha ndi kuthana ndi njira yochiritsira kusudzulana komwe kuli kofunika. Pansipa pali malangizo othandiza a momwe mungathanirane ndi chisoni ndi kuvutika maganizo chifukwa cha kusudzulana:

1. Vomerani kusudzulana 

Namrata akuti, "Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo za chisudzulo. Kaya muli ndi chifukwa chotani, muyenera kuvomereza. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu anakunyengererani? Landirani. Iwo adanena kuti samakukondaninso? Landirani ndipo yesetsani kuchiza. Pokhapokha mutavomereza chifukwa cha chisudzulo, mudzatha kuvomereza chisudzulo chokha."

Kuvomereza kudzakhala gawo lovuta kwambiri ndipo ndichinthu choyamba kuti mukhalebe oganiza bwino chisudzulo chitatha. Kumbukirani kuti kusudzulana kwachitika. Palibe chomwe mungachite chitha kusintha izi. Wokondedwa wanu wakale nayenso wavomereza ndipo mukupita ku moyo watsopano.

Pumirani mozama ndikuvomereza zonse. Landirani malingaliro olakwika, kupwetekedwa mtima, mkwiyo, udani, ndi malingaliro ena omwe muli nawo pa wokondedwa wanu wakale. Koma musamachite zinthu ndi maganizo oipawo kapena kuwalola kuti atsogolere khalidwe lanu. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kusudzulana N'chiyani Ndipo N'chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Amasudzulana?

2. Osachita zinthu motengera maganizo anu oipa

Kutsatira mfundo yapitayi, maganizo anu angasokonekera pamene mukumva chisoni chifukwa cha imfa ya ukwati wanu. Mungafune kupeŵa kuchita zinthu ndi malingaliro osakhazikika panthaŵiyo. Dalai Lama wamkulu adanena kuti malingaliro owononga amatichititsa khungu. Simungathe kupita patsogolo mutamanga m'maso mwanu nsalu yakuda, si choncho? Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti nkwachibadwa kumva kutengeka mtima kotereku. 

Nazi zina zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti muchepetse malingaliro anu olakwika:

• Lirani bwino
• Mvetserani kuti mulibe njira ina koma kukumvetsani chisoni chifukwa cha kutaya kwanu ndikudutsa nthawi yovutayi
• Kuthana ndi kusudzulana pocheza ndi inu nokha
• Khalani ndi nthawi yochita zinthu zomwe mumakonda. Werengani, pentani, lembani, pitani kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndi kuzungulira 
• Musadzipatule kapena kudziimba mlandu chifukwa cha kulekana ndi kusudzulana 

3. Musalole kuti chikondi chisanduke chidani

Namrata akuti, "Nkwachibadwa kudana ndi munthu amene wakusonyezani nthawi yosangalatsa komanso yomvetsa chisoni. Musalole kuti chidani chikuwonongeni. Izi sizidzangokhudza ubale wanu wamtsogolo (ngati mutasankha kukhala ndi chiyanjano) ndi iwo koma zidzawononganso ubale wawo ndi ana anu (ngati zilipo). Ngati mukulankhula za chidani ndi mnzanu wakale pamaso pa ana anu, zidzakhudzanso maganizo a kholo lawo. "

Munakondana ndi munthuyu, munakwatirana naye, ndipo munabereka naye ana. Komabe, patapita nthawi, nonse awiri munazindikira kuti simukusangalala limodzi. Mwina munamva kuti mulibe chikondi chomwe munali nacho muukwati wopanda chikondi kapena panali nthawi zina za kusakhulupirika ndi chinyengo. Kapena mwina nonse awiri. Munasiya chikondi pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika koma munayesa kuti ukwatiwu ugwire ntchito chifukwa cha ana. Komabe, simunathe kuchita izi kupitirira malire.

Mosasamala kanthu za chifukwa chakusudzulana kwanu, musaiwale kuti munthuyu ndi tate/mayi wa mwana wanu. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuletsa mkwiyo wanu. Inu mukudutsa mu chisudzulo. Mosakayikira mumakwiya komanso mukumva chisoni. Koma musalole mkwiyo ndi chisoni chimenechi kukhala chidani. Kusunga chakukhosi kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale kungakupangitseni kukhala kovuta kuti muyike chochitika cham'moyo ichi kutsogolo ndikupita patsogolo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungamangirenso Moyo Pambuyo pa Kusudzulana: Kusamalira Ana, Ndalama, Chibwenzi, ndi Kudzikonda

4. Kubwezera si yankho 

Kubwezera sikungapereke njira yopezera moyo wamtendere. Chikhumbo chofuna kuika mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale pa zowawa ndi zowawa zomwezo zomwe zinakukhumudwitsani zingakhale zamphamvu kwambiri, makamaka pamene mabala akadali atsopano. Koma muyenera kuyima ndikudzifunsa kuti, cholinga chake ndi chiyani?

Kubwezera kumachitika m'njira zambiri mukamasudzulana. Zina mwa izo ndi:

• Kupempha ndalama zosawerengeka za alimony chifukwa amakulowetsani ku gehena. Uku ndikuchita chifukwa chakukwiyira komanso ngati njira yobwezera mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale 
• Kupempha kuti mwana wanu akulereni chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo wakukhumudwitsani m'njira zosasinthika. Bwanji osawawonetsa kuti ndinu munthu wamkulu povomera kholo limodzi ngati banja losudzulana  
• Anthu ambiri amapita kunja kukalankhula ndi abwenzi awo. Koma zimakuwonetsani moyipa kwambiri kuposa iwo. Pewani kulankhula zoipa kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale ndi banja lawo 

5. Osadzifananiza ndi ena

Namrata anati: “Nthaŵi zonse timakhala ndi chizolowezi choyerekezera moyo wathu ndi wa ena.” Nkhani ya munthu aliyense ndi yosiyana. 

Mungayang'ane miyoyo ya anzanu m'banja ndikudabwa chifukwa chake chimwemwe sichinafike pakhomo panu. Simukudziwa zomwe zikuchitika m'miyoyo yawo. Mudzamva ngati moyo sunali wabwino kwa inu ndikuyamba kudana ndi moyo konse. Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kupewa msampha woyerekeza . Ingoganizirani momwe mungapangire moyo wanu kukhala wabwino tsiku lililonse.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungachokere Muukwati Mwamtendere - Malangizo 9 a Akatswiri Othandiza

6. Samalani ndi amene mumalandira malangizo 

Mukasudzulana, anthu amanena zinthu zosiyanasiyana, pofuna kuti musinthe maganizo anu. “Khalani oleza mtima kwambiri.” “Pirirani pang'ono ndipo zinthu zidzasintha.” “ Konzani zinthu pabedi ndipo simudzamva kufunika kwa kusudzulana.” Ngati mwafika poti simukufuna china chilichonse kupatula kusudzulana ndi mnzanu, muyenera kukhala ndi zifukwa zomveka komanso zamphamvu.

Anzanu ndi achibale sangamvetse nthawi zonse za chipwirikiti chomwe banjali lakubweretserani, motero angayambe kunena mawu otere. Osatengera malangizo kwa iwo ndipo osalabadira zomwe akunena. Tengani malangizo kwa anthu amene mumawadziwa bwino pa nthawi yovutayi. 

7. Dziwani kuti simungathe kulamulira chilichonse 

Namrata akuti, "Mungathe kudziletsa nokha. Zinthu zomwe simungathe kuzilamulira ziyenera kuvomerezedwa monga momwe zilili. Landirani zinthu zomwe simungathe kuzisintha kapena kuzilamulira. Ziribe kanthu momwe mungayesetsere kuti mukhalebe ndi mphamvu ya chisudzulo, zinthu zina zidzakhala zomwe simungathe kuzikwanitsa. Choncho lolani chips zigwere pamene zingatheke ndipo ingoganizirani momwe mumachitira ndi zochitikazo. " Kuvomereza kuti simungathe kulamulira chilichonse kudzakuthandizani kuchepetsa nkhawa zanu ndi nkhawa zanu.

8. Musayambe chibwenzi nthawi yomweyo 

Namrata anati, “Ichi ndi chinthu chofunikira kukumbukira ngati mukufuna kukhalabe ndi maganizo abwino pamene mukusudzulana. Moyo pambuyo pa kusudzulana sudzakhala wosavuta. Muyenera kuganizira kawiri musanapange chisankho chilichonse chokhudza chibwenzi ndi maubwenzi. Musayambe chibwenzi nthawi yomweyo. Kapena choipa kwambiri, musalowe muubwenzi weniweni kuti mutsimikizire mfundo kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale.”

Ngati mulowa muubwenzi pambuyo pa chisudzulo, malingaliro anu, thupi lanu, ndi mzimu wanu sizipeza nthawi yomwe zikufunika kuchira. Ndi mabala osachiritsika amalingaliro otere komanso katundu wambiri wamalingaliro, palibe njira yomwe mungapangire ubale wabwino ndi munthu watsopano. Zimatenga nthawi yayitali kuti muchiritse chisudzulo. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi ngati mwayi wokula.

9. Phunzirani pakulapa kwanu ndipo osanong'oneza bondo 

Anthu ambiri amasokoneza chisoni ndi chisoni. Kunong'oneza bondo ndi kupsinjika kosalekeza komwe munthu amangokhalira kukakamira "zikanakhala bwanji" ndi "zikanakhalapo". Muyenera kuphunzira pakumva chisoni chanu komanso osanong'oneza bondo. Kunong'oneza bondo kumapangitsa munthu kupewa kuchita mwayi mtsogolo. Komabe, kuphunzira kuchokera ku zokumana nazo zanu zolapa kumakupatsani mwayi wopewa kubwereza zolakwa zomwezo. 

Kudzimvera chisoni kumachokera ku chifundo chenicheni. Tsopano popeza mwadziwa mmene zimamvekera kuvulazidwa kapena kuvulaza munthu, mukudziwa kufunika kopewa makhalidwe oipa. Zowawa ndi chisoni chimene mukukumana nacho chingakupangitseni kukhala wachifundo ndi wachifundo kwa ena. Agwiritseni ntchito bwino. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Uphungu wa Kusudzulana: Ubwino wa Chithandizo cha Asanasudzulane ndi Pambuyo pa Kusudzulana

10. Yesani kudzisamalira 

Iyi ndi imodzi mwa njira zabwino kwambiri zokhalira oganiza bwino pamene mukusudzulana. Popeza kuti malingaliro anu ali ponseponse, ndikofunikira kudzisamalira ndikusalola kuti chisudzulo chisokoneze kudzidalira kwanu, kudzidalira kwanu, komanso kudzidalira kwanu. Nazi zina zomwe mungachite kuti muyesere kudzisamalira:

• Tsegulani anzanu ndi abale 
• Tulukani ngakhale kutanthauza kutuluka nokha
• Sinkhasinkhani ndi kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi nthawi zonse
• Momwe mungadzikonde nokha kachiwiri? Yesani kubwerera ku machitidwe anu achizolowezi. Dzukani, pangani khofi, pitani kuntchito, bwererani kunyumba, idyani chakudya, werengani buku, ndikugona
• Osapanga zisankho zazikulu panthawi yachisoniyi
• Yesani kusangalala ndi moyo pang'onopang'ono
• Mukakhala ndi nkhawa, yesani kulemba. Sungani buku ndikulemba malingaliro anu akuya ndi malingaliro anu  
• Pitirizani kukhazikika polowa m'gulu lothandizira 
• Yesani kubwerera ku machitidwe anu achizolowezi 

11. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri 

Mabala amtima ndi kuvulala komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha kusudzulana kungakhale kovuta kuthana nako nokha. Lankhulani ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Adzakuthandizani kusiya chisoni ndi mkwiyo mwanjira yabwino. Ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri, alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Pangani zisankho zoyera ndi zodekha zomwe sizimabadwa chifukwa cha kusakondana komanso chidani. Mukuvutika pakali pano ndipo kuzunzika sikutanthauza kukhala wozunzidwa, koma ndi zowawa. Kumva kuzunzika monga kuchitiridwa nkhanza kumabweretsa mkwiyo ndi kusowa chochita, ndipo kumakupangitsani kudalira zakale. Izi ndizopanda thanzi ndipo zimakulepheretsani kuchira. Kuwumva mu mawonekedwe a ululu kumakuthandizani kuti mulole kupita patsogolo. Masitepewa atha kukuthandizani kuti muyime pamapazi anu akuthupi ndi amalingaliro mwachangu komanso mwamphamvu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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