Nthawi zina, okwatirana amatha kudziwa nthawi yeniyeni yomwe adadziwa kuti ukwati wawo watha. Izi zimachitika makamaka zinthu monga kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kusakhulupirika, ndi nkhanza zapakhomo - zifukwa zitatu zazikulu zosudzulana, malinga ndi kafukufuku - zili mkati. Koma si maukwati onse omwe amasweka ngati chingwe, ena amatambasulidwa ngati chingwe mpaka atafika posweka. Zizindikiro 15 izi za ukwati wanu zitha mu chisudzulo zimawunikira nthawi zomwe kulekana kumakulirakulira pang'onopang'ono.
Zizindikiro 15 Zosaonekera Koma Zamphamvu Ukwati Wanu Udzatha M’kusudzulana
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Zimafunika khama lalikulu nthawi zonse kuti ukwati ugwire ntchito . Ganizirani izi ngati chinthu chofanana ndi kulima munda m'munda mwanu. Muyenera kulima nthaka, kudulira masamba, kuzula udzu nthawi zonse kuti maluwa atuluke. Ukwati wanu susiyananso.
Mukakhala otopa kapena mutayamba kunyalanyaza zinthu, ming'alu imayamba kugwira. Ngati sichoncho, ming'alu imeneyi ikhoza kusokoneza ukwati wanu. Kutaya unansi wanthaŵi yaitali chifukwa chakuti munanyalanyaza zizindikiro zina zapamwamba zaukwati zaukwati kungakhale chinthu chopweteka kwambiri m’moyo wanu.
Zomwe anthu ambiri amalephera kuzindikira ndikuti zizindikiro za banja lanu zatha nthawi zambiri zimawonekera nthawi yayitali D-liwu lisanakudutseni m'malingaliro anu. Ngati mukumva kuti mulibe mtendere kapena simukukhutira, zingakuthandizeni kuyamba kuyang'ana zizindikiro 15 izi kuti banja lanu litha mu chisudzulo:
1. Kupanda chikondi
Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa ku University of Texas, apeza kuti "kukhumudwa - monga momwe kumaonekera pakuchepa kwa chikondi, kuchepa kwa chikondi chowonekera, kuchepa kwa chikhulupiriro chakuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akuyankha, komanso kuwonjezeka kwa kusamvana - kumasiyanitsa maanja omwe akupita kusudzulana ndi omwe akhazikitsa mgwirizano wokhazikika waukwati".
Ngakhale kuti ndi zachilendo kuti kusonyeza chikondi kuchepe pakapita nthawi, ndi chizindikiro cha mavuto m'banja ngati palibe zizindikiro zachikondi monga:
- Amagwiritsa ntchito
- kundipsompsona
- Kugwirana manja
- Kukwatirana
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Muyenera Kusudzulana? - Lembani Mndandanda wa Kusudzulana Uku
2. Kukhala ndi chikaiko
Kodi nthawi yothetsa ukwati ndi liti? Pamene m’modzi wa m’banja amayang’ana zonse zimene mnzake amachita kupyolera m’kayikiro. Tiyerekeze kuti mukukonzera mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu zomudabwitsa, ndipo amayankha kuti, “Kodi mwatani tsopano?” Kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amafuna kutsuka mbale pambuyo pa chakudya chamadzulo, ndipo m’malo moyamikira kaamba ka kulingalira kwawo, inu munganene kuti, “Musaganize kuti mungandinyenge kuti ndigone mwa kuchita zimenezi.”
Kukayikira koteroko mwachibadwa kumasonyeza mavuto okhudzira kudalirana m'banja. Machitidwe amenewa angayambitsidwe ndi zina zomwe zinachitika kale. Komabe, zimasonyeza maziko ofooka, omwe amaonedwa ngati chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zochenjeza za kusudzulana kapena mwina kuti ukwatiwo watha kale.
3. Zoyembekeza zosagwirizana
Kuti banja likhale labwino, okwatirana ayenera kugwirizana ndi zimene akuyembekezera. Anthu okwatirana ayenera kukhala pa tsamba limodzi pa zinthu monga:
- Kufunika kwa malo aumwini ndi nthawi yokha
- Nthawi yoti mukhale ndi ana/kuti mukhale ndi ana angati
- Momwe mungayendetsere moyo wantchito
- Momwe mungasamalire ndalama
- Zosowa zamaganizo
- Zofuna zakugonana
Ngati ziyembekezo zokhudza zinthu zofunikazi sizikugwirizana kapena ngati pali ziyembekezo zosatheka , zizindikiro za ukwati wosakhazikika zingayambe kuonekera m'maganizo mwawo.
4. Kuchita nthabwala potengerana ndalama
Ndikwabwino kukoka mwendo wa mnzanu kapena kunena nthabwala za zomwe amachita kapena zomwe amachita nthawi ndi nthawi. Koma ngati chikhala chizoloŵezi chakuti mmodzi wa okwatiranawo azingokhalira kuchita nthabwala ndi ndalama za mnzakeyo, zingasonyeze chiwonongeko kaamba ka ukwati wanu m’kupita kwa nthaŵi ndipo zingasonyeze kuti kutha kwa ukwati kuli pafupi.
Nthawi iliyonse imene mnzanu wa muukwati wanu amanyalanyaza zofooka zanu kapena zolakwa zanu, zidzakupangitsani kukwiya pang'ono. Mungayambenso kuchita chimodzimodzi kuti muwapatse kukoma kwa mankhwala awo. Chitani izi kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo mphamvu ya nkhanza imayamba kugwira ntchito muukwati. Kukwiya kumeneku ndi nkhanza zitha kuopseza tsogolo la ukwati wanu.
5. Mpata woyankhulirana ukukula
Ngati mukudabwa kuti, “Ndingadziwe bwanji kuti ukwati wanga watha?”, samalani momwe mumalankhulirana ndi mnzanu. Kusalankhulana bwino mosakayikira ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zosudzulana. Mukakhala limodzi, tsiku ndi tsiku, kwa zaka zambiri, kuyesetsa ndi nthawi yoti muthandize kulankhulana bwino kungakhale kovuta. Ichi ndi chomwe chimapangitsa maanja kulekana. Musanadziwe, mumamva kuti simukugwirizana ndi zinthu zofunika monga:
- Zolinga za moyo ndi zokhumba
- Zomverera, mantha, zofooka
- Zomwe mwakwaniritsa ndi zolephera
- Mkhalidwe wamalingaliro wa wina ndi mnzake
6. Mumasiya kufufuzana
Mukasiya kuyesetsa kufufuza mbali zatsopano za chilichonse, chikondi chimayamba kutha . Mmodzi mwa owerenga athu analemba, akupempha thandizo, "Mwamuna wanga sasamala ngati ndifika kunyumba mochedwa kapena kuchoka msanga, kaya ndisadye chakudya kapena kudya kwambiri, kupita mwakachetechete kukagona pa sofa kapena kukhala maso usiku wonse pa Netflix. Ndimamva chisoni kuti mwamuna wanga sakundisamala. Kodi ukwati wanga watha?"
Kusakondweretsedwa ndi inu ndi moyo wanu kungakhale chiyambi cha kutha kwa ukwati. Koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti chiyembekezo chonse chatha. Mukhoza kuyesa ndi kupota zizindikiro izi ngati zinthu zomwe muyenera kuyesetsa. Mwayi wodziwa bwino wokondedwa wanu. Yendani kwa iwo ndikuseka za muffin wa cranberry womwe simunawawonepo akugwira ndikufunsa kuti, "Pepani, mwawonapo mkazi wanga kwinakwake?"
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungauzire Mwamuna Wanu Kuti Mukufuna Kusudzulana?
7. Kusakhulupirika pazachuma ndi chizindikiro cha mavuto m’banja mwanu
Kodi ndingadziwe bwanji kuti ukwati wanga watha, mukudabwa? Chabwino, chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe sizikudziwika bwino kuti ukwati wanu watha, ngakhale simunasainire mapepala osudzulana, ndi kusakhulupirika pazachuma . Ngati pali nkhanza zachuma kapena kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wanu, kapena inu ndi mnzanu mukuvutika kukambirana za ndalama popanda kusanduka mkangano waukulu, ganizirani kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro 15 zomwe ukwati wanu udzatha muukwati. Ganizirani momwe mumadziwira bwino zizolowezi za ndalama za mnzanu kapena ubale wawo ndi ndalama:
- Kodi ndalama zawo zimapita kuti?
- Kodi ndalama zimachokera kuti?
- Kodi okondedwa anu amakukhulupirirani/amakulemekezani mokwanira kuti agawane zambiri zandalama?
Kusaona mtima pazandalama—kaya kuwononga ndalama mobisa kapena kumanga zinthu popanda wina ndi mnzake—kungayambitse kukhulupirirana m’banja mwanu. Kusakhulupirirana, kuphatikiza ndi kusakhazikika kwachuma, kumapangitsa kuti banja likhale losangalala.
8. Mumasangalala ndi nthawi yanu yosiyana
Ndi chinthu chimodzi kutenga nthawi yanu nthawi ndi nthawi kuti mutsitsimuke/kupumula koma ngati nonse mukufuna zifukwa zopewera wina ndi mnzake, muli ndi chifukwa chodzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ukwati wanga watha?” Malo anu paokha akhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za ukwati wosasangalala ngati:
- Inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mumayamba kusangalala ndi nthawi yocheza kwambiri kuposa kukhala pamodzi
- Inu ndi/kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mungakonde kuchita china chilichonse kuposa kukhala ndi wina ndi mnzake
- Mumachitirana chete
- Nthawi yanu yokhala pamodzi imakhala chete yosasangalatsa
- Mumasowa mtendere/okondana wina ndi mnzake
9. Mumayankhulana wina ndi mzake
Kodi nthawi yothetsa ukwati ndi liti? Pamene palibe ulemu wotsala pa maganizo a wina ndi mnzake. Chizindikiro chobisika cha zimenezo ndi chakuti inu ndi mnzanu mukudulana pakati pa chiganizo kapena mukukambirana, makamaka pakakhala mikangano ndi ndewu. Ngakhale kuti ndi chizindikiro choonekeratu cha ukwati wosasangalala , ndi chizindikiro chomwe anthu ambiri amanyalanyaza.
10. Kusowa ubwenzi
Ndizachibadwa kumva kusungulumwa muukwati wopanda chikondi. Malinga ndi New York Times , 15% ya maukwati ku US alibe chikondi chogonana. Paokha, kusowa chikondi sikungakhale chizindikiro choopsa, makamaka kwa okwatirana achikulire. Koma zikayambitsidwa ndi zifukwa zina, zingakhale chimodzi mwa zizindikiro 15 za ukwati wanu zomwe zithetsa ukwati. Izi zimachitika ngati
- Inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mwasiya kukhala okondana chifukwa cha mbiri ya kunyenga muukwati
- M’modzi mwa okwatiranawo akuganiza zosiya ukwatiwo n’kupita kwa munthu wina
- Mmodzi amayamba kusagonana ndi munthu wina monga chilango kapena kubwezera
11. Mumanyozana wina ndi mzake
Tiyerekeze kuti inu ndi mnzanu mukukumana ndi mavuto, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale mikangano yambiri, ndewu, ndi kusamvana . Ngati m'modzi kapena onse awiri ayamba kunyoza wina pamaso pa wina - kaya ndi ana anu, banja lanu, kapena anzanu - ndi chizindikiro choonekera bwino kwambiri pa zizindikiro 15 zomwe zikusonyeza kuti ukwati wanu udzatha ndi chisudzulo.
Mavuto anu akhala aakulu kwambiri moti simungathe kuwapeza. Mukangoyamba kuwulutsa nsalu yanu yonyansa pagulu, palibe chiyembekezo chotsalira. Ngati funso lanu ndi loti, “Kodi banja langa latha?” yankho ndi “inde” ngati mupitiliza kusalemekezana mosasamala kanthu za amene akuonera.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 13 Zoyenera Kuchita Mwamuna Wanu Akakunyalanyazani
12. Kupambana mikangano kumakhala kofunika kwambiri kuposa kuthetsa kusamvana
Ngakhale kuti n’zachibadwa kufuna kukhala ndi mawu omaliza pa mkangano, chilakolako chofuna kupambana mkangano ngakhale mutawononga ubale wanu ndi chizindikiro chodetsa nkhawa. Chikhumbo chanu chofuna kupambana chingapangitse kuti mikangano ikhalepo kwa masiku, milungu, kapena miyezi ingapo. Zingayambitse mkwiyo waukulu m’banja mwanu , zomwe zimangotanthauza:
- Mumasamala za kupambana kuposa kuthetsa kusamvana
- Palibenso malo osiyidwa ogwirizana ndi kusintha
- Mumaona mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ngati mnzanu koma ngati mdani
- Simukuwona diso ndi diso nawo pazinthu zambiri
13. Simuyamikira tinthu tating'ono
Si zizindikiro zazikulu kapena zochitika zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi zomwe zimapangitsa ubale kukhala wabwino. Ndi zinthu zazing'ono zomwe mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku zomwe zimawerengedwa. Okwatirana omwe ali m'mabanja opambana amatenga nthawi kuti asangalale ndi kuyamikira zizindikiro zazing'ono monga:
- Kupangira chakudya cham'mawa cham'banja mwanu
- Mnzako akukubweretserani khofi pabedi
- Kutola zotsekemera pobwerera kwanu
Kutha kwa banja kumadziwika ndi kusayamika ndi kusayamika. Ngati palibe chomwe mukuchita chomwe chili chabwino kwa mnzanu - kapena mosemphanitsa - ndi chizindikiro chakuti simukuyamikirana kapena kuyamikirana. Kusayamikira ndi kuyamikira ndi zina mwa zizindikiro 15 zoti ukwati wanu udzatha m’chisudzulo.
14. Kusalankhula za m’tsogolo kumatanthauza kuti mapeto a ukwati ali pafupi
Kodi ukwati wanga watha, mukudabwa? Yankho lake lingakhale lobisika momwe mumaonera tsogolo. Mutha kudziwa kuti muli kumapeto kwa ulendo wanu waukwati ngati mutasiya kukonzekera tsogolo limodzi. Lingaliro lonse la kukwatira wina ndilakuti mupange moyo ndi iye. Motero, kukambirana za momwe moyo wanu ungakhalire zaka zisanu mtsogolo kapena komwe mungakhale mutapuma pantchito ndikwabwinobwino muukwati wabwino . Mwayi ndi wakuti, ngati mwafika poti simukufuna kukambirana za tsogolo ndi mnzanu, pamlingo wosazindikira, mutha kumva kale zizindikiro za kusudzulana.
15. Mumasiya ukwati wanu
Kutha kwa banja sikuchitika mwadzidzidzi. Mavuto m'paradaiso amayamba mukasiya kuyesetsa:
- Lumikizanani ndi kulumikizana
- Yesetsani
- Pezani nthawi yocheza
- Sonyezani chikondi
- Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yabwino pamodzi
Zimasonyeza kuti mwadziletsa maganizo anu ndipo simusamala za zomwe zingachitike muukwati wanu. Mungathe kuganiza za moyo wopanda mnzanu, ndipo kupitiriza moyo wanu sikukuwoneka kovuta. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomveka bwino za ukwati wanu (mwina m'maganizo mwanu).
Zoyenera Kuchita Mukawona Zizindikiro Zakusudzulana
Chochita mukazindikira kuti ukwati wanu suli bwino? Ngati muwona zizindikiro zambiri mwa zizindikiro 15 zomwe ukwati wanu udzatha chifukwa cha chisudzulo, kodi zikutanthauza kuti palibe chiyembekezo chilichonse? Pa izi, katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Aman Bhonsle akuti, "Ngakhale zingakhale zosokoneza kuona zizindikiro zazikulu za ukwati wosasangalatsa mu ubale wanu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, sizikutanthauza kuti ndi mapeto a ulendo wanu. N'zotheka kupulumutsa ubale ngakhale m'mavuto aakulu ngati onse awiri ayesetsa mwakhama. Ngakhale zinthu zitayenda bwino, si mapeto a dziko."
Mukakumana ndi mavuto m’banja mwanu, pali zinthu zitatu zimene mungachite. Zili ndi inu kusankha yomwe ingakuthandizireni bwino:
1. Mutha kuyesa kuti izi zitheke
Musanayambe kuganiza za mmene mungathetsere banja mwamtendere, onetsetsani kuti mwachita zonse zimene mungathe kuti muteteze ubwenzi wanu. Pokhapokha ngati pali mbendera zofiira ngati nkhanza zakuthupi, kuzunzidwa m'maganizo, kapena nkhanza zachuma, muli ndi ngongole kwa inu ndi mnzanu kuti muyese kupulumutsa banja lanu.
Komabe, mukakhala pa nthawi yomwe tsogolo la ukwati wanu likuwoneka loipa, zingakhale zovuta kudziwa komwe mungayambire kukonza ubale wanu. Kwa okwatirana omwe akusowa njira, Dr. Bhonsle akulangiza kuti, "Palibe njira imodzi yoyenera onse. Koma ngati simukudziwa komwe ukwati wanu ukupita, ganizirani kufunafuna chithandizo cha okwatirana kuti mudziwe komwe muli komanso chifukwa chake muli pamenepo." Ngati mukuganiza zopeza thandizo, maupangiri a Bonobology ndi osavuta.
2. Sankhani kulekanitsa mayesero
Ngati simukudziwa zomwe zidzachitike muukwati wanu, kulekana kwa mayesero kungathandize kuwongolera zinthu. Pakulekana kwa mayesero, inu ndi mnzanu mumakhala padera kwa kanthawi kuti muwone ngati kukhala padera ndi njira yabwino. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi ino kuti,
- Ganizirani zimene zinachititsa kuti banja lanu lisokonezeke
- Ganizirani za kudzisamalira
- Dziwitsani mbali yanu pa nkhani za m’banja
- Ganizirani zimene zinakugwirizanitsani inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu poyamba komanso ngati zinthuzo ndi zofunikabe kwa inu
- Dzifunseni ngati mukufuna kupulumutsa banja lanu
Kuwona momwe moyo wopanda mnzanu ungawonekere kungakuthandizeni kupanga zosankha mwanzeru. Ngati kukhala kutali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n’kumakhala panokha kumabweretsa mpumulo, ingakhale nthawi yoyambitsa chisudzulo. Ngati, kumbali ina, zimakupangitsani kukhala womvetsa chisoni kwambiri kuti mukukhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti pali chinachake choyenera kuchipulumutsa muubwenzi wanu.
3. Sulani chisudzulo
Ngati nonse munayesera kukonza nkhani zanu pofunafuna thandizo la akatswiri ndikusankha kupatukana ndi mayeso koma palibe chomwe chikuwoneka kuti chayenda bwino, ingakhale nthawi yoti mupange chisankho chovuta chochokapo. Inde, kuthetsa ukwati sikophweka ndipo m’tsogolomu mudzadzadzadza ndi zowawa, zopweteka, mkwiyo, ndi mavuto. Ngakhale mutadzifunsa kuti muthetsa bwanji banja mwamtendere, zingadzawononge banja lanu.
Nthawi zina, muyenera kupanga zisankho zovuta, kusuntha kuchokera pazomwe mumaganiza kuti zingakhale zosangalatsa mpaka kalekale, kuti mutha kupezanso mtendere ndi chisangalalo. Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Kutha kwa banja sikukhala kosangalatsa. Koma nayi mndandanda wazinthu zomwe muyenera KUPEWA kuchita:
- Kugwiritsa ntchito ana anu monga pawns / oyimira pakati
- Kubisa katundu kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti mupindule mopanda chilungamo
- Kuopseza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu
- Kulumpha mutu choyamba mu ubale watsopano
- Kukana bwenzi lanu nthawi ndi ana anu
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Nkhanza, kumwerekera, kusakhulupirika ndizo zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti ukwati wanu uli m’mavuto aakulu ndipo mufunikira chithandizo kuti mutetezere zokonda zanu.
- Zizindikilo zina zosonyeza kuti banja likusokonekera ndi monga kusapangitsa wina ndi mnzake kudzimva kukhala wofunika, kusagonana ndi kusowa chikondi, kukwiyirana.
- Kufunika kwakukulu kopambana mikangano ndi kusalemekezana ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zazikulu zaukwati zosasangalala
- Ngati mungagwirizane ndi zizindikiro zambiri zoti banja lanu litha ndi chisudzulo, muli ndi zisankho zitatu: yesetsani kuti zitheke, kusankha kupatukana ndi mayesero, kapena kusudzulana.
Zizindikiro zakuti ukwati wanu watha zingakuchititseni kumva kuti simunathe. Kaya mukuyesera kutsitsimutsa banja lanu kapena kutenga zolemba pakhoma ngati chizindikiro chakuti mukufunika kupita patsogolo zili kwa inu ndi mnzanuyo. Mulimonsemo, musalole zizindikiro 15 izi kuti ukwati wanu utha mu chisudzulo kukupatsani malingaliro osiya ntchito. Kaya muli limodzi kapena motalikirana, mutha kudutsa gawo losasangalatsa ili lamoyo ndikupezanso mtendere ndi chisangalalo.
Ibibazo
Ku US, pafupifupi 40 mpaka 50% ya maukwati amatha ndi chisudzulo. Kuzindikira zizindikiro zoyambirira za ubale wosakhazikika kungathandize kuchepetsa chiwerengerochi ngati mukudziwa zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana. Zizindikiro zoonekeratu nthawi zambiri zimaphatikizapo kusowa ulemu, kusowa chikondi chamaganizo ndi chakuthupi, komanso kusalankhulana bwino.
Kusagwirizana ndi chifukwa chachikulu cha kusudzulana, kutsatiridwa ndi kusakhulupirika ndi nkhani zandalama. Mnzangayo anandiuza kuti: “Tsiku limene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga anagona ndi munthu wina, ndinadziwa kuti zatha.
M’malo moimba mlandu mwamuna wanu chifukwa cha kutha kwa banja lanu, ganizirani mmene mukumvera. Gwiritsani ntchito mawu akuti "Ine". Mwachitsanzo, “Sindikuganiza kuti ndili wokonzeka kuthera moyo wanga ndi munthu m’modzi” kapena “Banja ili silikundiyendera”.
Zizindikiro 12 Zochenjeza Wokondedwa Wanu Akutaya Chidwi Mu Ubwenzi
Njira 7 Zokuthandizani Kuti Mugwirizanenso Ndi Mkazi Wanu Ndi Kulimbitsa Ubale Wanu
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
