Mukakhala mozungulira zisa zanu zopanda kanthu, ana amathamangira kutali, ntchito yanu ikuyandikira kumapeto, kuganiza za dongosolo lopuma pantchito, mwachibadwa kuyang'ana moyo wanu kwautali, molimbika. Tsopano popeza moyo wanu sunayambikenso kuthamangitsa zolinga ndikuyang'ana zinthu zomwe mukufuna kuchita, mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yowerengera zomwe zamenyedwa ndi zomwe mwaphonya. Munthawi zodziwikiratu izi, maanja ambiri amazindikira kuti akhala muubwenzi wosakwaniritsa kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo amadzipeza akuyang'ana kuthekera kwa chisudzulo chotuwa.
Kwa ena, kulephera kugwirizananso ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo ndi kuzolowerana ndi kusintha kwatsopano kwaubwenzi kumapewa zododometsa za moyo wotanganidwa zimakakamiza anthu kuthetsa maukwati awo pakatha zaka 20, 30, kapena kupitilira apo. Ngakhale kuti sizinali zachilendo kwenikweni, chiŵerengero cha chisudzulo pakati pa mabanja opitirira 50 chakweradi m’zaka zaposachedwapa, kuchititsa kuunika kwakukulu ndi kusanthula.
Lero, tikupereka ndalama zathu ziwiri ku nkhani yokhudza kulekana kwa maanja patatha zaka zambiri akukhala limodzi. Ndi thandizo laling'ono kuchokera kwa loya Tahini Bhushan , tafufuza zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu asudzulane, komanso malangizo abwino komanso othandiza a momwe tingamvetsetsere ndikuthana nazo bwino, ngati mukukonzekera kapena mukudutsa nokha. Kodi kusudzulana kwa anthu okalamba n'chiyani, ndipo kumatanthauza chiyani kwa inu? Pitirizani werengani.
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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Bill ndi Melinda Gates anakhala akuluakulu a chisudzulo cha imvi pamene adaganiza zothetsa ukwati wawo wa zaka 27 ali ndi zaka 65 ndi 56 motsatana. Mwina mukanawona mawuwa akutchulidwa pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwawo ndipo mukanadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi kusudzulana kwa imvi kumatanthauza chiyani?” Amatanthauza vuto la mabanja (a tsitsi la imvi) opitirira zaka 50 akusudzulana . Amadziwikanso kuti siliva wogawanika kapena diamondi kusudzulana.
Kusudzulana kwa Gates kunabwera nkhani zambirimbiri ndi ziwerengero zomwe zinasonyeza kuti ngakhale kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zodziwika bwino za kusudzulana kwa imvi, si okhawo. Malinga ndi Pew Research , chiŵerengero cha kusudzulana pakati pa anthu azaka 50 chawonjezeka kawiri kuyambira 1990 mpaka 2015. Kafukufuku wina akusonyeza kuti anthu azaka zopitirira 50 anali othandizira kwambiri kusudzulana mu 2012 kuposa momwe analili mu 1994, zomwe zikusonyeza kusintha kwakukulu kwa maganizo pankhani yothetsa ukwati.
Chifukwa chake, makanda omwe amasankha kuchoka m'mabanja azaka zambiri sikuti amangokhala paokha, koma amakhazikika pakusintha kwachikhalidwe ndi malingaliro komwe kumachitika pazaka makumi angapo. Kupatula apo, kukhala paubwenzi kwautali ndi kukhala limodzi kwa moyo wonse kungapangitse kuti chisudzulochi chikhale chovuta kwambiri. Chisudzulo cha imvi ndikunong'oneza bondo ndi chisangalalo nthawi zambiri zimayendera limodzi, kotero sikosavuta, kusankha kolunjika.
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Zifukwa Zomwe Zimayambitsa Chisudzulo Cha Gray
Alice ndi Jasper akhala m’banja zaka zoposa 20. Alice ali ndi zaka 54, Jasper ali ndi zaka 57. Ndipo ali m’kati mothetsa banja. Alice anati: “Ndikuganiza kuti anzathu ambiri anadabwa kwambiri. Awiriwa ali ndi ana awiri ndipo amakhala ndi nyumba yokongola ku California. Zonsezi, zinkawoneka ngati chithunzi chenicheni cha banja lachimwemwe ndi lokhazikika.
“Sitinali kugwirizananso,” Jasper akufotokoza. “Tinasintha ndipo tinalekana, ndipo kuyambitsa njira yosudzulana kunaoneka ngati njira yoyenera komanso yathanzi yoti titsatire. Tinaganiza za njira zina m'malo mwa kusudzulana koopsa, monga kulekana kwa mayesero . Koma kenako, kusudzulana koyera kunaoneka ngati kwabwino kwambiri.”
Mofanana ndi kupatukana kwamtundu uliwonse, kusakhutira ndi kusakondwa nthaŵi zambiri ndizo zifukwa zofala kwambiri za kusudzulana kwa imvi. Koma, popeza kuti okwatiranawo ndi okalamba ndipo athera mbali yabwino ya moyo wawo pamodzi, pali mizu yozama yoti azule ndipo chiyembekezo cha kukonzanso moyo wawo chingakhale chodetsa nkhaŵa. Izi zimabweretsa mavuto apadera kwa okwatirana, komabe, nthawi zina zifukwa zachisudzulo zotuwa zimaposa zovutazo. Zina mwazifukwa izi ndi:
1. Chisa chopanda kanthu
Ngati moyo wanu wonse ndi ubale wanu zidazungulira ana anu, ngati kuyanjana kulikonse, tchuthi chilichonse chabanja chidakonzedwa mozungulira iwo, ndizotheka kuti muli pachiwopsezo atachoka panyumba. Nyumbayo ilibe, ndi yaikulu kwambiri kwa inu nonse awiri. Mumazindikira kuti muli ndi zochepa zonena kwa wina ndi mzake, kuti mulibenso zambiri zofanana.
Ndipotu, mwina mwayamba kuzindikira kuti munasiya chikondi kalekale, ndipo simunazindikire chifukwa munali ndi ana. Matenda a empty nest syndrome ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zosudzulana chifukwa zimakhala zovuta kuyang'ana mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu patebulo la chakudya cham'mawa tsiku lililonse.
2. Zifukwa zachuma
Kwa amayi makamaka, kusudzulana pa msinkhu uliwonse kungatanthauze kuchepa kwakukulu kwachuma, makamaka ngati asiya kugwira ntchito. Tahini anati: “Nthaŵi zambiri, mkaziyo amasiya kugwira ntchito ana akabadwa, choncho amangodikira mpaka atafika pamlingo woti angakwanitse kusudzula mwamuna wake.”
Ichinso chimapangitsa kuti mabanja ambiri aziganizira njira zina m'malo mosudzulana kapena kusankha kukhalabe m'banja losasangalala kwa nthawi yayitali. Ndalama ndizofunikira pa msinkhu uliwonse, koma mukakula, mumazolowera kwambiri moyo winawake, ndipo mumakhala ndi zinthu zambiri zosangalatsa. Kumbali ina, ana akakula, kusamalira ana sikofunikira kwenikweni ndalama za koleji zikatha.
Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, ndalama zimakhala zofunika kwambiri pamene okwatirana akuganiza zosudzulana pamlingo uliwonse wa moyo. Komabe, ngati onse awiri ali odziyimira pawokha pazachuma ndipo akudziwa kuti chisudzulo sichingawononge ndalama zawo zopuma pantchito, zimakhala zosavuta kusankha ufulu ndi chisangalalo pakukhalabe m'banja mopanda chimwemwe pakapita nthawi.
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3. Kusowa ubwenzi wapamtima
Kuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana ndi chilakolako chogonana ndi chinthu chofala ndi ukalamba, koma tisamanene kuti - pali anthu ambiri azaka 50 omwe amachita zogonana ndikusangalala nazo. Komabe, ngati palibe ubale wapamtima, zimatha kuwononga ukwati, makamaka ngati chilakolako cha kugonana cha mnzawo chikadalipo.
Tahini anati: “Pakatha zaka 50, anthu ambiri m’banja amakonda kukhala ndi anthu okondana osati kugonana. “Nditanena zimenezo, ngati zosoŵa za mnzawo wa m’banja sizikukwaniritsidwa, chiwopsezo cha kuchita chigololo chimakhala chochuluka.” Pamene nkhani zonga chisamaliro cha ana ndi kuchinjiriza ana ku kupwetekedwa mtima kwa chisudzulo cha makolo sizikhalanso chifukwa, okwatirana angapeze zifukwa zochepera ndi zocheperapo zosonyezera banja losangalala.”
Chigololo sichinthu chokhacho chomwe chimachititsa kuti banja liwonongeke, samalani, koma zikutanthauza kuti mwataya chidwi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo izi zakhala maziko a kusudzulana pazaka zonse. Chifukwa chake, yankho limodzi ku “chifukwa chiyani okalamba akusudzulana” lingakhale kusowa kwa ubwenzi wakuthupi.
4. Ana amakula
Tahini anati: “Pali maukwati amene alibe zolinga ndiponso zolinga zawo zonse ndipo okwatirana akungoyembekezera kuti ana akwanitse zaka 18,” akutero Tahini.
Anawo akafika pa msinkhu womvetsetsana ndi kukhwima maganizo, okwatirana akhoza kukhala omasuka kuyambitsa chisudzulo. “Nthaŵi zinanso ana amabwera kwa ine n’kundiuza kuti akufuna kuti makolo awo asudzulane ndipo ana aamuna ankabwera kwa ine n’kundiuza kuti ndikufuna kuti mayi anga asudzulane.
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5. Kupuma pantchito
Zaka zopuma pantchito zikuwonetsa kusintha kwakukulu kwa moyo komwe si aliyense wokonzeka kuthana nawo. Zimatanthauza kuthera nthawi yochuluka kunyumba ndi wina ndi mnzake kuposa momwe munkachitira poyamba. Mabanja ambiri zimawavuta kulimbana nazo.
“Mwamuna wanga, Paul, anapuma pantchito ali ndi zaka 65, ndipo ndinadziŵana naye kunja kwa mnyamata amene ankapita kuntchito kwa maola 8 patsiku,” akutero Lena, “ndinazindikira kuti sindimamdziŵa kapena kumkonda mnyamata amene tsopano ndinayenera kuthera naye nthaŵi yonseyo.
Kusamalira kupuma pantchito ndi/kapena kusamalira mkazi kapena mwamuna wopuma pantchito kungakhale ntchito yovuta komanso misomali yomaliza m'banja. Pankhaniyi, kungakhale bwino kusudzulana mukakalamba kusiyana ndi kuthera zaka zanu zagolide mukukangana ndi kumenyerana pakhosi tsiku lililonse. Kuchita ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wosadzidalira, tsiku ndi tsiku, kungakukhumudwitseni kwambiri. Choncho, ganizirani mosamala nkhani zothetsa ukwati poyerekeza ndi mavuto okhala limodzi kuti mupeze chisankho choyenera.
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Maukwati aatali ndi ovuta kuchokamo. Mutakhala limodzi kwa zaka zambiri, moyo wanu ukhoza kukhala wolumikizana kwambiri moti simungadziwe kuti mungayambire kuti kuulekanitsa. Kusankha pakati pa kusakhazikika m'banja lopanda chimwemwe ndi chiyembekezo chodetsa nkhaŵa koma chosangalatsa choyambiranso kungakuchititseni kukhala okhumudwa. Mukakhala pamphambano yoteroyo, m'pofunika kuganizira mosamala musanasankhe zochita.
Ngakhale kuti chiwerengero cha anthu okwatirana okalamba chikukwera ndipo ambiri akupeza chimwemwe atatuluka m'mabanja a nthawi yayitali, muyenera kudziwa ngati ichi ndi chisankho chabwino kwambiri kwa inu. Dzifunseni, kodi mukufunadi kusudzulana? Kodi mwakonzeka kukhala ndi moyo wosakwatiwa muli ndi zaka 50 kapena kupitirira apo? Kodi mungafune kudzipereka kwambiri pa chibwenzi cha okalamba nthawi ina kapena mukufuna kukhala osakwatiwa kwa masiku anu onse?
Ngati njira yosiyana ikuwoneka ngati yabwino, kodi muli okonzeka kuthana ndi mavuto azachuma panjira? Kodi mukufuna thandizo kwa okwatirana / ndinu okonzeka kupereka? Kodi muli ndi chichirikizo chokwanira chamalingaliro kuti muthe kuthetsa chisudzulo? Mafunso omwe muyenera kuwayankha musanadumphe nawo akhoza kukhala osatha. Komabe, pali zovuta zingapo zakusudzulana zomwe muyenera kuziganizira pa chisankho chanu:
- Magwero a ndalama: Kodi mudzadzisamalira bwanji pambuyo pa kusudzulana? Ngakhale mutakhala wodziyimira pawokha pazachuma moyo wanu wonse, mwayi wopeza ndalama pazaka 50 ukhoza kukhala wosiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe zidali muzaka za 30s kapena 40s. Mwina mwafika kale pachimake pantchito yanu. Kodi muli ndi zokwanira kwa masiku anu onse?
- Mapindu opuma pantchito: Kodi kusudzulana kungakhudze bwanji mapindu anu mukapuma pantchito? Zifukwa zakusudzulana zitha kukhala zamalingaliro koma muyenera kuyikapo mbali pazochitika monga zotsatira zake pa 401(K)s ndi ma IRAs. Kodi kudula dzira la chisa chanu pakati kudzachepetsa msonkho wanu? Kodi mudzakhala ndi zokwanira kuti mudutse bwino? Kodi inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu muli pa tsamba limodzi ponena za mmene mungathanirane ndi mbali zimenezi za chisudzulo?
- Kugawa zinthu zanu: Mukakhala m’banja kwa nthawi yaitali, m’pamenenso mungagawire zinthu zambiri. Pokhapokha pali a mgwirizano usanakwatire m’malo molongosola amene amalandira chimene chikachitika chisudzulo, mufunikira kulingalira njira yabwino yolekanitsira katundu, maakaunti akubanki, ndi katundu wina. Kugwira ntchito ndi katswiri wazachuma wotsimikizika wa chisudzulo kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri pofika pamapangano opindulitsa onse awiri.
- Thanzi: Pokhala ndi moyo wautali masiku ano, mungakhale mukuyang'ana kuti mukhale ndi zaka makumi awiri ngati munthu wosudzulidwa ngati mutasiyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu m'zaka za m'ma 50. Osati kokha zaka makumi aŵiri zilizonse koma nthaŵi ya moyo imene thanzi lanu ndi maganizo anu zidzayamba kunyonyotsoka. Kodi muli ndi njira zothanirana ndi mavuto amenewa popanda wokuthandizani nawo?
- Banja ndi ana: Zowona kuti ndinu opanda kanthu tsopano ndipo ana anu onse ndi akulu okhala ndi moyo wawo. Ngakhale zili choncho, kusudzulana kwa makolo sikuli kophweka kwa ana, mosasamala kanthu za msinkhu wawo. Kodi munaganizirapo za momwe banja lanu lidzakhudzire kapena munayandama lingalirolo ndi ana anu kuti muwone momwe angayankhire?
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Ngakhale mutayesa ubwino ndi kuipa kwake, kubwereka loya wa zamalamulo a m’banja, kusamuka, ndi kukhazikitsa ndondomeko ya chisudzulo, kugwirizana ndi kusintha kwakukulu koteroko sikophweka. Kuthetsa ukwati ndi moyo wogawana nawo zaka zambiri kumakhala kowawa komanso kosokoneza. Onjezani ku izi chifukwa ndinu wamkulu ndipo mwina simukufuna kuthana ndi zolemba zonse, ndipo mutha kugwiritsa ntchito thandizo pang'ono poyendetsa chisudzulo chanu. Nawa maupangiri okuthandizani popanda kutaya malingaliro anu ndikuwonetsetsa kuti musakhale ndi zonong'oneza za chisudzulo:
1. Khalani ndi malamulo anu m'malo
"Ndinali ndi zaka 52 pamene ndinazindikira kuti mwamuna wanga anali ndi chilakolako cha mkazi wina . Pomaliza pake anandisiya, ndipo zoona zake, ndinadabwa kwambiri komanso ndinadabwa kwambiri, sindinaganize za zomwe ndinali ndi ufulu wopeza pankhani ya thandizo la banja losudzulana. Sindinkadziwa ngakhale ngati nyumbayo inali m'mayina athu kapena ake okha kapena momwe tingalekanitsire katundu ndi katundu wina," akutero Jill wazaka 60.
Mwamwayi, loya wa zamalamulo abanja yemwe adalemba ganyu adamupangitsa kukhala pansi ndikuyang'anizana nazo. Tahini anati: “Kaya zinthu zivute bwanji, timachititsa okwatiranawo kukhala pansi kuti akambirane. “Nthaŵi zambiri, katunduyo amakhala m’dzina la mwamuna basi ndipo safuna kuisiya.
Mwina simungafunikire kumenyera ufulu wosamalira ana nokha, koma dziwani za ufulu wanu walamulo monga chithandizo cha mwamuna kapena mkazi, alimony, mapindu ogawana nawo, ndi zina zotero, dzipezereni loya yemwe ali pakona panu ndipo musalole kuti chisoni chanu chisokoneze china chirichonse.
2. Konzani chuma chanu
Ndalama n’zofunika ngakhale pamene ubwenzi uli wolimba, ndipo n’zofunikadi pamene mukuthetsa ukwati wa zaka zambiri. Tahini analangiza kuti: “Khalani pansi ndipo lingalirani bwino za chuma chanu, lembani mapepala oyenerera ndi kugaŵirako bwino momwe mungathere.”
Lembani mndandanda wa katundu ndi ndalama, ndikuwona zomwe zimagawidwa ndi zomwe ziri zanu nokha. Kungakhalenso lingaliro labwino kukaonana ndi katswiri wazachuma wotsimikizika wa chisudzulo kuti awone momwe mungagonjetsere zovuta zachuma ngati zilipo. Onetsetsani kuti inshuwaransi yanu yaumoyo, thumba la koleji la ana, ndi zina zambiri zilipo komanso kuti muli ndi malo okwanira ngati simukupeza nyumbayo.
Tikhulupirireni, mutadziwa kuti ndalama zanu zakonzedwa, mudzatha kuchiza ndikuyang'ana zinthu zina. Osakwirira mutu wanu mumchenga pankhani zandalama, mukuyenera kumveka bwino komanso mfundo zonse., ndipo mwinanso alimony yosudzulana imvi. Kupulumuka chisudzulo chotuwa sikungakhale kokongola, koma kuyenera kukhala kothandiza.
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3. Pezani dera lanu
“Ngati mukupita kuchisudzulo choipitsitsa, mwinamwake muli pausinkhu umene makolo anu apita kapena okalamba kwambiri moti simungakhoze kupereka chichirikizo chokulirapo.” Ngati muli ndi abale anu, imeneyo ndiyo njira yochirikizira, koma nawonso, adzakhala ndi miyoyo yawoyawo.” Chotero, mabwenzi amphamvu, ogwirizana kwambiri, amakhala ofunika,” akutero Tahini.
Thandizo lamphamvu komanso lachikondi ndilofunika kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino panthawi ya chisudzulo . Mukukumana ndi kusintha kwakukulu m'moyo wanu ndipo mudzafuna anthu ozungulira inu. Tikukhulupirira kuti mwapanga gulu labwino la anthu omwe amakudziwani ndipo nthawi zonse adzakhala nanu. Lumikizanani nawo ndipo aloleni kuti akuthandizeni. Kupulumuka chisudzulo, pa msinkhu uliwonse, sikophweka. Mukufuna abwenzi, choncho musatseke anthu.
Ngati mukuwona kuti anthu omwe ali pafupi kwambiri ndi inu sangagwirizane ndi zomwe mukukumana nazo, ganizirani kujowina chisudzulo pambuyo pa magulu 50 othandizira mdera lanu kapena pa intaneti. Jill akutiuza kuti: “Kutenga mbali za moyo wanga pambuyo pa chisudzulo chimene sindinawone kuti chikubwera sikunali kwapafupi.
4. Khalani oona mtima ndi ana
Kukhala ndi ana anu pakona panu kapena kukhala m'bwalo ndi lingaliro la chisudzulo chanu kungapangitse kukhala kosavuta kuti mupite patsogolo. Tahini anati: “Ana anu angakhale atakula ndipo amadziwa zonse zokhudza kusudzulana.” Ndipo inde, mwina thanzi lawo la maganizo silingasokonezedwe kwambiri.
Tsatirani lamulo loti musamanyoze mnzanu kwa ana anu koma khalani oona mtima nawo. Auzeni kuti zinthu sizikuyenda bwino, ndipo muyenera kudzipezera njira ina. Kambiranani limodzi ndi bwenzi lanu ngati nkotheka. Ndi ana akuluakulu, ndizosavuta kufotokoza kuti mmodzi kapena nonse adzapeza bwenzi latsopano panthawi ina.
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5. Pambuyo posudzulana imvi, bwererani kuntchito
Zitha kukhala chifukwa cha ndalama, kuchita chizolowezi, kapena kungotanganidwa. Ngati mwapuma pantchito kapena mwakhala osagwira ntchito kwa nthawi yayitali, kulowetsa zala zanu kumbuyo kungakhale chithandizo chachikulu ndipo kungathandize kuchepetsa madandaulo aliwonse osudzulana. Ngakhale ndalama zanu zopezera chitetezo ndi zopuma pantchito ndizokwanira kuti muthe, kukhala ndi ntchito kungapangitse moyo wanu watsopano kukhala ndi cholinga.
"Ndinali mphunzitsi wanthawi zonse wa Chingelezi tisanakhale ndi ana, ndiyeno ndinasiya. Pamene ndinasudzulana, ndinali ndi zaka 55 koma ndinkakondabe kukamba nkhani ndipo mabuku anali chilakolako changa. Ndinayamba kugwira ntchito yaganyu ku laibulale yanga ya m'deralo. Ndinakonza zowerengera ndi zochitika zazing'ono zolembalemba ndipo ndinapanga kalabu ya mabuku. Zinali zokwaniritsa modabwitsa ndipo zinandipatsadi cholinga, "akutero Suzanne.
Simuyenera kubwerera m'mbuyo mu masabata a maola 40. Ndipotu, mutha kudzipereka ku malo osungira anthu osowa pokhala ngati ndalama sizili vuto. Ndipo ngati simukuda nkhawa ndi ndalama, tsopano mutha kugwira ntchito pa zomwe mumakonda. Moyo pambuyo pa kusudzulana uyenera kukhala wofunika komanso wosangalatsa, iyi ingakhale njira imodzi yochitira izi.
6. Phunzirani kukhala nokha
Inu mwakhala mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi kholo kwa zaka zambiri, ndipo tsopano, ndi inu basi. Anzanu ndi othandizira alipo, koma ndikofunikira kuti muphunzire kukhala nokha. Mwina simunakhalepo ndi inu kwakanthawi ndipo zimakhala zowopsa komanso zosungulumwa nthawi zina.
N'zovuta kudziona ngati wosiyana ndi maudindo a mwamuna kapena mkazi, kholo, wachibale, ndi zina zotero, maudindo omwe mwakhala mukugwira kwa nthawi yayitali. Koma pamene gawo latsopanoli la moyo wanu likupitirira, kukhala nokha ndikuphunzira kukhala omasuka nalo ndikofunikira. Pitani kokayenda, kuyenda nokha , ngakhale kupita kokacheza. Ino ndi nthawi yoti mudziwenso nokha. Ndipo tangoganizani, mudzakhala osangalala kwambiri kuchita izi!
7. Funsani thandizo
Chithandizo cha akatswiri nthawi zonse chimakhala lingaliro labwino pamene kusintha kwakukulu kwa moyo kukuchitika. Kusudzulana kwachisoni kumagwera m'gulu ili, ndipo palibe chabwino kuposa khutu lopanda tsankho loti limve zomwe mukunena. Uphungu wa kusudzulana ungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi nkhawa, chisokonezo, kapena kusungulumwa komwe mukukumana nako.
“Sindikuganiza kuti amuna a m’badwo wanga amamasuka kwambiri ndi chithandizo,” anatero Raul wazaka 58, mwamwano. Koma mwana wanga wamkazi anandikakamiza kupita kwa dokotala nditasudzulana, ndipo ndiyenera kunena kuti, nkwabwinodi kukhala ndi malo otetezeka kumene sindinkafunikira kumwetulira kapena kuchita zinthu molimba mtima.
Palibe chobisala mu chithandizo, ndipo ndicho chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite nokha pakali pano. Ngakhale kutha kwa ukwati wanu kwakhala nthawi yayitali, ngakhale mutakhala kuti ndi katundu wolemetsa, ndi bwino kufunafuna thandizo ndikukambirana ndi katswiri. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobolog y ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.
8. Ikani maganizo anu pa kupita patsogolo
Tahini anati: “Ndimaonabe kuti n’kosavuta kuti mwamuna apitirizebe moyo wake atasudzulana imvi,” akutero Tahini.
Ndizowona kuti chisudzulo chikupitiriza kubwera ndi manyazi kwa akazi, makamaka ngati afika pausinkhu wakutiwakuti, chiŵerengero cha chisudzulo chikukwera mosasamala kanthu. Koma akazi musataye mtima! Ngati muli otsegukira ku chikondi chatsopano, pali mwayi uliwonse womwe ungabwere. Koma dziwani kuti kupita patsogolo sikungokhudza kupeza chibwenzi chatsopano.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo Abwino Kwambiri Osudzulana Kwa Akazi
Mwinamwake mudzapeza chitonthozo mukakhala nokha, ntchito yatsopano, kapena gulu lakale, lomasuka la anzanu. Mwinamwake kusunthira patsogolo, kwa inu, kumawoneka ngati Lamlungu labata masana pamene mumawerenga ndi kugona popanda nkhawa kapena maganizo a wakale wanu. Kapena mwina zikuwoneka ngati kufa tsitsi lanu lofiirira ndikupita kudziko lina. Mwina kusunthira patsogolo ndikungokhala iwe.
Kusudzulana kwa Grey kumatanthawuza zochitika za kusintha komwe anthu amakhulupirira kuti n'zotheka kuyambanso pa msinkhu uliwonse ndi gawo lililonse la moyo. Kumene kuli bwino kunena kuti, “Izi sizikugwira ntchito”, ngakhale mwakhala limodzi zaka 20. M'malingaliro amenewo, ndi pafupifupi chiyembekezo m'malo mokhumudwa. Chifukwa chake, musalole kudandaula ndi zomwe zingakuwonongeni, landirani chisankho chomwe mwadzipangira nokha, ndipo ganizirani zodzipangira nokha moyo wabwino.
Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Novembala 2022.
Ibibazo
Mukudabwabe, nchifukwa chiyani maanja achikulire akusudzulana? Chabwino, chisudzulo cha imvi chafala kwambiri m’zaka zingapo zapitazi, popeza anthu tsopano akukhulupirira kuti n’zotheka mwachuma ndi m’maganizo kuyambanso pambuyo pa usinkhu wa zaka 50. Ena amaona ngakhale kuti ndi bwino kusankha kudikirira mpaka anawo akule ndiyeno perekani chisudzulo.
Mofanana ndi kupatukana kulikonse, kusudzulana kwa imvi kungapeŵedwe mwa kulankhulana kwabwino ndi kuyesetsa kusunga ubwenziwo kukhala watsopano ndi wamoyo. Komabe, ngati chikondi ndi kuyanjana zatha, palibe chifukwa chopitirizira ukwati womwe umakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala. Kupulumuka chisudzulo si chinthu chophweka koma kumagonjetsa banja lomvetsa chisoni nthawi zambiri.
Mungasankhe kulekana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi m'malo mongosiya zonse. Mwina mungopereka miyezi itatu kuti muwone momwe zinthu zikuyendera. Mungasankhenso uphungu wa ukwati kuti muyese kuthetsa mavuto anu kapena kuyesa ukwati wotseguka, pomwe zosowa zanu zimakwaniritsidwa kunja kwa ukwati, koma ukwatiwo ukhalebe m'dzina.
Kusungulumwa Pambuyo pa Chisudzulo: Chifukwa Chake Amuna Amapeza Kukhala Kovuta Kwambiri Kupirira
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
