Mfundo 12 Zofotokozera Chifukwa Chake Ubale Wamamuna Wachikulire Umagwira Ntchito

Pankhani ya maubwenzi apamtima, chikondi sichidziwa malire. Miyambo yomwe kale inali yotsekereza okwatirana ku msinkhu wokhwima tsopano ikutha ntchito. Kusintha kwatsopano kwachitika m'zaka makumi angapo zapitazi: Ubwenzi wapakati pa akazi ndi achichepere.

Tiye tikambirane anthu otchuka. Nyenyezi yodziwika bwino ya aliyense, Helena Bonham Carter, ali ndi kusiyana kwa zaka 21 ndi mnzake, Rye Dag Holmboe. Purezidenti wa ku France Emmanuel Macron adakwatirana ndi Brigitte Macron yemwe ali wamkulu zaka 24 kuposa iye. Wolemba Eva Mendes ndi wamkulu zaka 7 kuposa mwamuna wake Ryan Gosling. Wojambula Cameron Diaz, 51, anakwatiwa ndi Benji Madden, 44. Ndi zina zotero. Ngakhale nkhani zachikondi zonyoza zaka izi zitha kudzutsa nsidze, pali nkhani yofunikira yoti ipangidwe chifukwa cha chemistry yosatsutsika pakati pa azimayi akulu ndi amuna achichepere.

M'nkhaniyi, tifufuza za sayansi ndi psychology za maubwenzi achikulire ndi amuna ang'onoang'ono kuti timvetsetse chifukwa chake maubwenziwa akhala gawo lofunikira komanso lokhalitsa lachikondi chamakono. M'tsogolomu, tikupereka malingaliro atsopano okhudza chikondi, zaka, ndi kusintha kwaubwenzi kwa amayi okalamba ndi amuna achichepere.

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Malinga ndi kalembera wina, 12 mwa maukwati 100 aliwonse a ku United States amakhudza mkazi wachikulire ndi mwamuna wocheperapo. Kudzera mu njira yomweyi komanso kuchokera ku gwero lomwelo, zitha kudziwika kuti pafupifupi 14.8% ya maanja ali pachibwenzi ndi mayi wachichepere. Kalemberayu akuti 6.9% ya amayi ndi akulu kwa zaka 2-3 kuposa amuna awo. Peresenti imachepa pamene kusiyana kwa zaka kumawonjezeka. 0.7% ya amayi mu kafukufukuyu ndi azaka 15 kapena kupitilira apo kuposa akazi awo.

Ziwerengero za ubale wa amayi ndi achichepere kwa inu: Kafukufuku wa AARP ku US adapeza kuti pakati pa 3,500 osakwatiwa achikulire, 34% ya azimayi azaka zapakati pa 40-69 amakhala ndi abambo achichepere. Ndipo 14% ya amayi azaka zapakati pa 50-59 amati amakonda kukhala ndi amuna azaka za 40 kapena kuchepera. Kugwirizana kwa ubale zikuwoneka kuti ndizofala kwambiri kuposa momwe zimayembekezeredwa muzophatikizana izi. Choncho, kaya kapena ayi, akazi achikulire amuna achichepere maubwenzi ali pano kukhala.

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Zifukwa 12 Zomwe Amuna Achichepere Achikulire Amagwirira Ntchito

Mutha kudabwa chifukwa chake mkazi wachikulire yemwe ali pachibwenzi ndi wachinyamata amagwira ntchito. Ngakhale ndi mfundo zimene zili pamwambazi, mungafunse kuti, “Koma n’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wachichepere angakopeke ndi mkazi wachikulire?

Zoona zake n’zakuti amuna ambiri amakonda kukumana ndi mkazi wopanda pake yemwe ali wodziwa zambiri. Kukongola kwa kukhwima kungakhale kokongola kwambiri kwa mwamuna. Kwa ambiri, ubale wapakati pa mkazi ndi wamng'ono umagwira ntchito modabwitsa ndipo ukhoza kukhala wautali kapena ngakhale moyo wonse. M'zikhalidwe zina zomwe zimakondwerera chikondi chosagwirizana, palinso lingaliro lakuti mkazi wamkulu amabweretsa mwayi kwa wokongola wake wamng'ono. Koma ngakhale m'zikhalidwe zomwe sizigwirizana ndi ubale wazaka, mupeza anyamata akulemba muzolemba zawo za pulogalamu ya zibwenzi kuti: "Ndimakonda akazi achikulire." Ambiri a iwo amakhala pachibwenzi ndi akazi achikulire ngakhale pamene achibale awo amatsutsa.

Pamapeto pake, ndi chisankho chomwe chimapangidwa ndi akuluakulu ovomereza. Ndipo palibe mphamvu zambiri zomwe zimaseweredwa monga momwe zimakhalira ndi maubwenzi apakati pa amuna ndi akazi ang'onoang'ono pomwe mwamuna nthawi zambiri amakhala wopambana. Chifukwa chake, konzekerani kutsazikana ndi chikhalidwe chanu pamene tikuwulula zomwe zimapangitsa ubale wa anyamata ndi atsikana okulirapo.

1. Chemistry yogonana ndi yamagetsi

Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti akazi amafika pachimake pakugonana akafika zaka 30 ndi 40, ndipo amuna amatero akafika zaka 20. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kuyanjana kwa kugonana pakati pa amuna achichepere ndi akazi achikulire mu maubwenzi a zaka zosiyana nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosatsutsika. Chitsanzo pankhaniyi: Supermodel komanso wowonetsa TV Heidi Klum, 50, yemwe adakwatirana ndi Tom Kaulitz, 34, adati poyankhulana: "Akuwoneka wamaliseche kwambiri!"

Achipatala amaperekanso izi ngati chilimbikitso popereka upangiri waubwenzi kwa amayi ndi abambo achichepere kwa makasitomala. Dr. Shefali Batra, katswiri wamkulu wa zamaganizo ndi katswiri wodziwa za ubale, akugawana, "Ndikukumbukira ndikuwona mwamuna wa 25 wazaka zakubadwa akukhala ndi mkazi wa zaka 36. Ubale unali wokhudzana ndi kugonana poyamba.

Pambuyo pake, pamene mkaziyo ali wamkulu, pali malo ambiri oti aganizire pazinthu zosangalatsa za ubale wakale-wachichepere m'malo modandaula za tsogolo la ukwati, ana, kugula nyumba, ndi zina zotero. Izi ndizo psychology za maubwenzi achikulire a mkazi wamkulu-wamng'ono, osachepera mu gawo lawo loyamba.

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2. Pali mavuto ochepa azachuma

Maubwenzi apakati pa akazi ndi ang'onoang'ono nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mavuto ochepa azachuma poyerekeza ndi maubwenzi omwe onse awiri ali azaka zofanana. Pali zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimayambitsa izi:

• Chitetezo chandalama: Azimayi omwe ali m'maubwenzi akale aang'onowa nthawi zambiri amakhala okhazikika kapena opambana m'ntchito zawo komanso odziyimira pawokha pazachuma, zomwe zingapereke chitetezo chandalama kwa onse awiri.
• Ndalama zogawana: Akazi achikulire omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi amuna achichepere amafuna ubale wofanana. Choncho amagawana ntchito zachuma, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kuti banjali lisamalire pamodzi ndalama zawo
• Kutsika kwamphamvu kwa maudindo achikhalidwe: Paubwenzi woterewu wa kusiyana kwa zaka, pali chikakamizo chochepa kapena palibe kwa mwamuna kuti apereke ndalama kwa mkazi, popeza wadzikhazikitsa kale pantchito yake ndikudzipangira ndalama zokwanira.

Amuna ambiri akukulanso momasuka ndi lingaliro la azimayi okalamba kuti azipeza ndalama zambiri komanso kuti aziganizira kwambiri ntchito zawo. Momwemonso, akazi savutitsidwa ndi bwenzi lawo laling'ono / mnzawo amalandira ndalama zochepa. Abambo okhala pakhomo tsopano akukhala zenizeni monga maubwenzi otsogozedwa ndi akazi kutenga dziko ndi mkuntho. Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zambiri zomwe mkazi wachikulire amakhala pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata wamng'ono ndi nthawi yayitali komanso yokhazikika pazachuma.

3. Kugwirizana kwa thupi mwa amayi achikulire ndi amuna ang'onoang'ono maubwenzi

Kodi zaka ndizofunikira paubwenzi? Zikhoza, koma osati momwe mukuganizira. Nthawi ya moyo wa akazi ndi zaka zisanu kuposa amuna, ndi malinga ndi kafukufuku wa BBC, zimenezi zimachitika chifukwa cha kusintha kwa moyo, osati ndi biology yokha. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mkaziyo akadzakula, banjali likhoza kukhala "lofanana mwakuthupi."

Inde, izi sizikutanthauza kuti palibe kuyesayesa komwe kumafunikira pankhaniyi mu ubale wa kusiyana kwa zaka. Mayiyo adzakhala ndi nkhawa za thanzi zomwe banjali liyenera kuthana nazo. Kulankhulana momasuka ndi kulimbikitsana maganizo kudzathandiza kwambiri kulimbikitsa ubale wotere wa mkazi wachikulire ndi mwamuna wamng’ono.

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4. Amakonda kuswa malire

Mwina mumadzifunsabe kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mnyamata angakopeke ndi mkazi wachikulire pamene kutengeka kwambiri kwa ma TV ndi atsikana kumakhudza amuna ambiri? Frank, wa ku Chicago, wokonda crochet, anati: “Popeza kuti anthu ambiri savomereza mkazi wamkulu - mwamuna wamng'ono ubale, kuli mtundu wa kupanduka mwa iko kokha. Ndipo anyamata amakonda kupanduka, n’chifukwa chake ambirife timakondana ndi akazi akuluakulu. Ndimakonda akazi achikulire ngakhale kuti amafunikira kupanduka.”

Komanso, ngati okwatirana akufuna kuswa chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe chimenechi, iwo sangakhale mtundu wokondweretsa malire ena a chikhalidwe monga magulu, mtundu, kalasi, ndi chipembedzo. Ngakhale kuti anthu ena adzapitirizabe kutsutsa banjali, awiriwa amadzimva kuti ali ndi mphamvu pakupandukira zomwe akuyembekezerazi. Ndipo ntchito yomwe agwira kuti agonjetse onyoza iwalimbikitsanso momwe anthu ena amawalimbikitsira. Izi zitha kukhala chilimbikitso chachikulu cha kudzidalira kwa onse awiri.

5. Kudzudzulidwa ndi anthu kumawapangitsa kukhala ogwirizana

Nawa ena moona mtima mkazi wamkulu-wamng'ono maubwenzi malangizo kwa akazi okhwima amene akuwopa kuti adumphe. Ubale wa kusiyana kwa msinkhu ndi amuna ang'onoang'ono umapangitsa kuti anthu asamavomereze. Koma zingakhale ndi zotsatira zosayembekezereka za kulimbikitsa mgwirizano wa okwatirana. Anthu akamakayikira kutsimikizika kwa ubale wawo, okwatiranawo nthawi zambiri amalumikizana kuti ateteze chikondi chawo, ndikupanga mgwirizano womwe umakhala wolimba komanso wosagonja.

Kudzudzulidwa kungakhale ngati mphamvu yosonkhezera kutsimikizira kuti chikondi chawo chiri chenicheni ndipo chingapirire chiyeso cha nthaŵi. Kulimbikitsana kumeneku kungapangitse kudzipereka kolimba ku chiyanjano komanso kunyada m'malingaliro awo kwa wina ndi mzake. Mabanja achikulire ndi amuna aang'ono amapezanso mgwirizano m'dera la ubale wapakati pazaka ndi maanja omwe amakumana ndi zovuta zamtunduwu. Zonsezi zimapangitsa kuti azibwenzi ambiri odzidalira.

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6. Mikangano yokhudzana ndi zaka imatha kuwapangitsa kukhala olimba ngati akuyenda bwino

Ngakhale kusiyana kwa zaka kungabweretse mavuto apadera mu maubwenzi a amayi ndi abambo aang'ono, zovutazi zikhoza kukhala mwayi wakukula ndi kulumikizana mozama pamene ziganiziridwa bwino. Kuthetsa mavuto okhudzana ndi ukalamba kungapangitse maanja kulankhulana moona mtima. Kuonetsera poyera kumeneku kungapangitse kuti munthu amvetse bwino maganizo a wina ndi mzake, zokhumba zake, ndi mantha.

Kugawanika kwa Hugh Jackman posachedwapa kuchokera kwa wosewera Deborra-Lee Furness, mkazi wake wa zaka 27, kunayambitsa mafunde a kudabwa ndi kupwetekedwa mtima pakati pa mafani, koma ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti ali ndi chikondi chochuluka ndi kulemekezana wina ndi mzake ndipo samasamalabe maganizo a ena. Mikangano yokhudzana ndi ukalamba imatha kupangitsa kuti pakhale chifundo chachikulu pakati pa okondedwa, ngakhale atapatukana.

Munthu aliyense amayamba kumvetsetsa zovuta ndi zabwino zomwe kusiyana kwa zaka kumabweretsa kwa iwo mwamuna ndi mkazi wamkulu ubale. Kulimbana bwino ndi zopinga zimenezi kungalimbikitse kudzipereka kwa okwatirana. Nthawi zambiri amatuluka mbali ina ndi kutsimikiza kwakuya kuti ubale wapakati pa mnyamata ndi mtsikana ugwire ntchito kwanthawi yayitali.

7. Mayi wachikulire amabweretsa kukhwima maganizo paubwenzi

Iyi ndi nsonga yabwino kwa anyamata kuganizira ubale ndi mkazi wamkulu. Zochitika za moyo ndi maphunziro omwe amatsagana nawo amapanga mkazi wachikulire wodzidalira, motero amabweretsa kukhwima kwamaganizo ku ubale wawo. Bola ngati mwamuna samutenga ngati mayi komanso mkazi satengeka nazo mphamvu zamphamvu. Kukhwima m'malingaliro mwaubwenzi wachikulire ndi amuna ang'ono kumaphatikizapo makhalidwe monga:

• Kudzidziwitsa: Azimayi amatha kumvetsetsa bwino momwe akumvera, zomwe zimawayambitsa, komanso momwe amachitira, zomwe zingawathandize kuthana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi bwino.
• Maluso olankhulana: Ndi ukalamba, anthu ambiri amakhala ndi luso lolankhulana bwino lomwe, zomwe zingathandize kuti pakhale kukambirana bwino komanso momasuka pakati pa maubwenzi a zaka zosiyana.
• Kuleza mtima: Zochitika pamoyo zingathandize anthu kukhala oleza mtima komanso omvetsetsa pochita zinthu ndi ena, kuphatikizapo okondedwa awo
• Kukhazikika m'malingaliro: Azimayi achikulire omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi anyamata ang'onoang'ono angakhale adakumana ndi zovuta zosiyanasiyana m'moyo kuphatikizapo maubwenzi akale, zomwe zimawathandiza kukhala okhazikika m'maganizo ndikuwakonzekeretsa kuthana ndi kupsinjika maganizo ndi zovuta mu ubale wosiyana zaka.
• Kuthetsa kusamvana: Kudziwa nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa luso lotha kuthetsa mikangano, chifukwa anthu okalamba atha kuphunzira momwe angathetsere ndikuthetsa kusamvana m'njira yolimbikitsa komanso osachitapo kanthu.
• Chisoni: Zochitika m'moyo zimatha kukulitsa luso la munthu lomvetsetsa malingaliro ndi malingaliro a mnzake
• Nzeru: Anthu achikulire angakhale apeza nzeru ndi kaonedwe kambiri ka moyo, zimene zingakhale zothandiza popanga zosankha zofunika ndi kupereka chitsogozo pa ubale wosiyana zaka.

8. Pali sewero lochepa paubwenzi wosiyana zaka

Chifukwa cha zomwe adakumana nazo pamoyo wawo, azimayi achikulire omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi amuna achichepere nthawi zambiri amakhala patsogolo pazinthu - Amayamikira zomwe amakonda, ndikufotokozera zolakwika momveka bwino popanda kusewera. Nthawi zina amatha kuwoneka ngati owona mtima mwankhanza, koma zimakhala zosavuta kuti amuna adziwe momwe angachitire ndi zinthu pomwe safunikira kuwerenga pakati pa mizere. Mphamvu zamphamvu zimawoneka kuti zimakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino pa kulemekezana pamene mkazi wakula.

Palibe zoyembekeza zosanenedwa ndipo kuyankhulana kumamveka bwino, kuonetsetsa kuti ubale wachikulire ndi mwamuna wamng'ono ukhalebe wolimba komanso wopanda sewero losafunika. Komanso, amayi achikulire omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi amuna achichepere amatha kuthana nawo mavuto a ubale wautali zabwino kwambiri kuposa okwatirana okhazikika popeza anthu okalamba amawona zenizeni.

9. Pali zosangalatsa zambiri m'miyoyo yawo

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa AARP womwe uli pamwambawu, yemwe ali ndi ziwerengero zaubwenzi pakati pa akazi ndi achichepere, akazi ofunsidwawo adatchula kusangalala ndi kuyanjana monga zifukwa zazikulu zokhalira pachibwenzi. Akazi achikulire omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi amuna achichepere alibe zopinga ndipo amatha kusangalala ndi moyo wawo pamodzi mokwanira. Iwo anyoza kale anthu, ndipo tsopano alibe chotaya. Izi zimawapangitsa kukhala abwino kwambiri nthawi zonse.

Maanja omwe ali muubwenzi wosiyana zaka amachita zomwe akumva ndipo samapewa kuwona malo atsopano, kukumana ndi anthu atsopano, ndikuyesera zosangalatsa ndi zokonda zatsopano. Choncho, banjali limapeza chiyanjano ndi kukwaniritsidwa m'miyoyo yawo kudzera muubwenzi wachikulire ndi mwamuna wamng'ono.

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10. Ndi maphunziro kwa onse awiri

Pamene ali muubwenzi wa mkazi wachikulire ndi mwamuna wamng’ono, mwamuna amaphunzira kukula ndi kukhala munthu wabwinoko mwa kungoona mmene iye akudzinenera ndi kudzitsimikizira yekha, malinga ngati samamuona ngati mayi. Mayi yemwe waziwona zonse ndikudutsa pakati pa ng'ombe * ndizosangalatsa kwambiri, zotseguka, komanso zolimbikitsa mwanzeru kwa iye. Amadziwa kuchita zinthu ngati munthu wokhwima maganizo pamene awiriwo akumenya ubwenzi waluntha.

Kumbali ina, mkazi wachikulire kwambiri angaphunzire za njira za dziko lamakono muubwenzi wa mnyamatayo, kudzitsegulira yekha ku lingaliro latsopano. Kusinthasintha kumeneku kumapangitsa kuti pakhale kulemekezana muubwenzi. Ndi mbali yabwino kwambiri yaubwenzi wa mnyamata ndi mtsikana wamkulu koma yomwe mwina siidziwika bwino. Ndiye, kodi zaka ndizofunikira paubwenzi? Zikuwoneka koma pazifukwa zolondola.

11. Onse omwe ali muubwenzi wamayi wamkulu ndi wachinyamata amakhala ndi chidziwitso chotsimikizika

Muubwenzi wa mkazi wachikulire ndi mwamuna wamng'ono, pangakhale chidziwitso chovomerezeka kwa onse awiri m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Umu ndi momwe:

• Kutsimikizika kwamalingaliro: Onse awiri angapeze kutsimikizika kwamalingaliro muubwenzi pomva kukondedwa, kulemekezedwa, ndi kuthandizidwa ndi wokondedwa wawo zomwe zimawathandiza kudziona kuti ndi ofunika komanso osangalala
• ngakhale: Ndi mkazi wachikulire amene ali pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata wamng'ono, akhoza kugwirizana pamagulu angapo, monga zokonda zogawana, zikhalidwe, ndi zolinga za moyo. Izi zimatsimikizira kuyanjana, kulemekezana, ndi kumvetsetsa komwe amamvera wina ndi mnzake
• Mphamvu: Ubale woterewu wa amayi achikulire ndi amuna achichepere ukhoza kukhala wopatsa mphamvu. Makamaka kwa mkazi, yemwe angamve kulimbikitsidwa kwa kudzidalira kwake, podziwa kuti mnyamatayo ali ndi chidwi chenicheni mwa iye ndipo samamulora. Wachichepereyo angamve kukhala wolimbikitsidwa ndi chidziŵitso ndi nzeru za bwenzi lake lokulirapo ndi chenicheni chakuti anamsankha monga bwenzi lolingana naye.
• Kutsimikizira zosankha zaubwenzi: Onse awiri atha kupeza chitsimikiziro pazosankha zomwe adapanga kuti akhale limodzi, ngakhale atakhala ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi ukalamba, zomwe zimawathandiza kudzikweza komanso otetezeka pazosankha zawo.

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12. Ndi malo abwino kwa anthu omwe safuna kukhala ndi ana

Ubwino umodzi wa maubwenzi pakati pa akazi achikulire ndi amuna ang'onoang'ono ndikuti pangakhale chikakamizo chochepa chokhalira ndi ana poyerekeza ndi maubwenzi apakati pa anthu amsinkhu wofanana. Izi zimachitika chifukwa cha zinthu zingapo:

• Wotchi yachilengedwe: Amayi akamakalamba, kubereka kwawo kumachepa, ndipo zenera lokhala ndi pakati mosavutikira ndi kubereka limacheperachepera, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti chikhumbo chofuna kukhala ndi ana chichepe.
• Kusiyana kwa siteji ya moyo: Akazi achikulire omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi amuna achichepere kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala ndi zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa moyo ndi zolinga zosiyana ndi akazi achichepere amene angakhale ali m’zaka zawo zoyambirira zobala ana. Angakhale alera kale ana, akuyang'ana kwambiri ntchito zawo, kapena asankha mozindikira kuti asakhale ndi ana ambiri
• Kusankha ndi kudziimira: Pamene mkaziyo wakula, angamve kukhala wokhoza kupanga zosankha ponena za tsogolo lake la kubala popanda zitsenderezo za anthu, kaya kukhala ndi ana ambiri, kulera, kapena kusankha kusakhala ndi ana nkomwe.

Ziribe kanthu kuti pali ubale wotani, pamapeto a tsiku, pamafunika ntchito yambiri, chikondi, ulemu, ndi kulankhulana. Ndiye kodi zaka ndizofunikira paubwenzi? Zimaterodi. Koma monga mukudziwira tsopano, pali zambiri paubwenzi wabwino kuposa pamenepo.

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