Ngobunye ubusuku bokulala emva kokuxambulisana ngento engabonakali nokuba ibaluleke kangako? Ndingacinga ukuba isizathu sokuba ujonge iimpawu ezifunwa ngumfazi wakho kukushiya kukuba amathumbu akho abonisa ukuba umtshato uyawohloka. Amathumbu akho mhlawumbi alungile. Imitshato ephumelelayo ifuna umsebenzi, ukuzibophelela nentlonipho.
Omabini amaqabane afanele enze indima yawo ukuze umtshato uhambe kakuhle nangempumelelo. Ukungalingani kulo naliphi na elinye iqabane kubangela ingxabano enkulu emtshatweni. Oku kunokubangela imilo, iingxabano, kunye nomgama omde phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho. Yaye ushiyeka uzibuza, “Ngaba yimitshato nje enzima okanye yinto engapheliyo? Ngaba umtshato wakho uzaliswe zizibonakaliso ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya?
Le mibuzo inokukunika ubusuku obuninzi bokungalali. Ukukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba umtshato wakho ufikelele kwelo nqanaba lokungabuyi, sikulethela uluhlu lweempawu umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya ngokubonisana nogqirha wezengqondo. Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, iYunivesithi yaseManchester), umseki weKornash: Isikolo soLawulo lweNdlela yokuPhila, ojongene neengcebiso zezibini kunye nonyango losapho. Ulapha ukuze abelane ngezimvo zokukunceda woyise iiblues.
Ezona zibonakaliso zi-17 zothusayo uMfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya
Isiqulatho
Ulwalamano ngalunye lwahlukile kwaye luza nemingeni yalo, amahla ndinyuka. Nangona kunjalo, amaqhuma amancinci endleleni ayisosizathu esaneleyo sokunikezela. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho mntu unikezela kubudlelwane obonwabileyo, obanelisayo, kwaye akukho mfazi osengqondweni yakhe ephilileyo uya kufuna oko. Izinto ezininzi kufuneka zingahambi kakuhle emtshatweni ukuze umfazi wakho afune ukukushiya.
Uyabona, ixesha lehoneymoon alihlali ngonaphakade. Xa sele ukwelinye icala layo, awusayi kuba uncamisa phambi kwabantu. Uninzi lobudlelwane luyacotha kwaye luzinze kwisantya esitofotofo. Ukuba omnye okanye nobabini uyeka ukubeka umzamo wokuvuselela ubudlelwane kweli nqanaba, iintanda kunye nomgama unokuqala ukubonakala.
Ekuphela kwento efunekayo sisixa esithile sokubandakanyeka emtshatweni wakho ukuze uqonde ukuba umfazi wakho akonwabanga. Akavuki ngenye intsasa agqibe kwelokuba ufuna ukukushiya. Ukuba ubunike ingqwalasela enkulu, ngewukwazi ukubona iimpawu ezifunwa ngumfazi wakho ukuba akushiye. Mhlawumbi, uqale ukunikela ingqalelo kuphela emva kokuba umonakalo sele wenziwe. Ukuba uye waphoswa zizibonakaliso zokuqala zokuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle kubudlelwane bakho, qaphela le miqondiso inkosikazi yakho ifuna ukukushiya.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Izinto Ezi-9 Ezilula Ezinokuqhawula Umtshato—Zibubungqina Bomtshato Wakho
1. Ufunda eli nqaku lolunye lweempawu zokuqala umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya
Isenzo sakho sokuhamba "ubonisa ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya" luphawu ngokwalo. Makhe ndikucacisele. Ufumene izitenxo kwindlela aziphethe ngayo kwaye ikushiye udidekile. Ndithetha ngelo lizwi langaphakathi belikuxelela umtshato wakho usematyeni.
Kancinci, uqala ukuqonda ukuba unxibelelwano lwakho luthatha ithuba elibi. Emva kokuba uchithe ixesha elibalulekileyo uhlala neqabane lakho, kukho isingqisho esikhululekileyo ekufuneka nizibekele sona nobabini. I-offset kwesi singqisho luphawu lokuqala olulumkisayo ekufuneka ululumkele.
2. Nisoloko nibambene emqaleni
Awukwazi ukubamba izandla xa uxakeke kakhulu ukhomba iminwe. UDevaleena ukucacisa oku ngokuthi, “Ukuba nobabini nibambekile kumjikelo wokutyholana, akushiyi naliphi na ithuba lokuthetha omnye komnye.” Oku kunokuqhubeka ngonaphakade.Oku kujikeleza kwento ethi “wenza oku” nokuthi “uthe” kusenokuba ngomnye wemiqondiso yokuqala umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya. Ungathumela ezininzi izicwangciso zokuyeka ukulwa emtshatweni wakho.
Xa umdlalo wokutyhola uthatha indawo, nayiphi na into enokwenzeka yokusombulula impixano ayikho emfanekisweni. Ukuba kulapho umtshato wakho ukhoyo, awonwabanga. Ukungcungcutheka kungumbulali womtshato. Kusenokubakho izizathu ezininzi ezibangela ukuba aziphathe kakubi, mhlawumbi usebenza kakhulu, akaziva eviwa, okanye wonganyelwe yimeko yasekhaya. Mhlawumbi, ngoku ucinga ngokubeka ulonwabo lwakhe kuqala ngokuphuma emtshatweni.
3. Ufumana okuninzi "Awukhe undimamele"
Uyafunda xa umamele. UDevaleena uthi, “Kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, unxibelelwano oluphilileyo lubalulekile kuba lukhokelela ekubeni umntu asondelelane. Ukuziva eviwa emtshatweni wakhe kubalulekile kumfazi, kubonisa ukuba ulikhathalele.
Indlela yokuxelela ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya? Zihlole kwaye ubone ukuba unayo imbali yokungamhoyi umfazi wakho ngokwasemoyeni ngokungabikho kuye. Cinga ngamaxesha oye wancokola ngayo naye. Ngaba ubukhona ngenene kwaye umphulaphule ngenkuthalo? Cingani ngamaxesha eniye nasilwa ngawo. Ukhe wa yilwa naye ngembeko okanye ubuxhaphaza kwaye awunambeko?
4. “Ndicinga ukuba inkosikazi yam iceba ukundishiya, ibingumsindo oshushu”
UDevaleena uthi: “Ukuba umfazi wakho usoloko enesingxengxezo sokuphepha ukuba neentlobano zesini nawe, ngokuthetha okanye ngokuchuliweyo, lixesha lokuba ulumke uze uthethe naye ngako oko. Ukusondelelana kuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kwizibini ezahlukeneyo.
Oku kunokuba nzima ukukwamkela, ngakumbi ukuba isondo ibiyindlela yakho yokudibanisa omnye nomnye. Kodwa ukuba anizange nithandane ixesha elide okanye uziva ngathi unaye isondo lenceba nawe, ke inokuba yenye yemiqondiso umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Isiphumo somtshato ongenazintlobano zesini kuMyeni-Iindlela ezili-9 ezithatha ubunzima kuye
5. Ufihla ubomi bakhe kunye nefowuni yakhe
Indlela yokuxelela ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo, kufuneka ucinge emva kwaye ubone ukuba uye waphawula naluphi na utshintsho oluphawulekayo kwindlela yakhe yokuziphatha mva nje. UDevaleena uthi: “Umfazi akanyanzelekanga ukuba axelele iqabane lakhe ngazo zonke iinkcukacha zobomi balo.
Umtshato awunakusinda kumthwalo weemfihlo. Ukungafihli kunye ukunyaniseka zisisiseko sobudlelwane obanelisayo. Ngeendlela ezininzi, isigqibo esenziwe liqabane sibonisa kwelinye. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba umfazi wakho ugcina iimfihlo kangangokuba ungazi ukuba uchitha nabani ixesha lakhe okanye kutheni esebenza emva kwexesha, yenye yeempawu ezimbi ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya.
6. Awusaxoxi ngekamva
Ukuphila ngoku kuyingcebiso enkulu kodwa ukuba okwangoku kukugcina ungonwabanga, lixesha lokucinga ngendlela izinto ezikuyo emtshatweni wakho kwaye ucwangcise ikamva. UDevaleena uthi, “Ukuba umfazi wakho uyekile ukuxubusha ngekamva kunye, ngoko uyekile ukuluthabatha nzulu olo lwalamano.
Incoko yokuba nabantwana okanye ukufudukela kwindlu enkulu ngakumbi, ukonga imali yekamva, nokuthetha ngokukhula kunye zizinto ezibalulekileyo emtshatweni. Ukuba unonyaka okanye emibini utshatile kwaye awuxoxi ukuba iminyaka emihlanu ezayo iya kujongeka njani, yenye yezona zibonakaliso ezikhathazayo umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya. Ibhinqa lisenokungakuboni kufanelekile ukutyala iimvakalelo zalo kwi umtshato ongenaluthando ukuba akaboni ixesha elide.
7. Nguwe kuphela oqalisa iincoko
Ukuba kusoloko nguwe oqala incoko ngesidlo sakusasa okanye isidlo sangokuhlwa kwaye uphendula kuphela kwi-monosyllables, ke amathuba okuba ukumtshato ocalanye. UDevaleena uthi, “Incoko ecalanye ibonisa ukungabi namdla wokuba kunye neqabane elikufutshane nalo.
Ukuba umfazi wakho akabonakalisi mdla wokuncokola nje, usenokuba uziva enganxulumananga nawe ngokweemvakalelo. Oku kunokuba ngomnye wemiqondiso umfazi wakho ufuna ukukopela kuwe kwaye ukwi ubudlelwane kwicala elinye. Uphazamisekile kwaye ucinga ngomnye umntu adibene naye okanye anomdla kuye. Zonke iimpawu ezilumkisayo iqabane lakho liphelelwa ngumdla kubudlelwane.
8. Akazikhathazi ukuba uphi kwaye uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye naye
Ukungakhathali kwakhe ukuba uphi yenye yeempawu ezibonisa ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya. Ibonisa ukuba akanamdla wokwazi ukuba uphi okanye wenza ntoni. Kutheni le nto imbi? UDevaleena uyachaza, “Ukungakhathali kwahluke kakhulu ekumnikeni iqabane indawo kubudlelwane.Ukungabi namdla kwakhe ebomini bakho kubonisa ukuba uyalixabisa ixesha analo yedwa xa ungekho.Akakhathali nokuba unxulumana nabani kuba kuye, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba kuthetha ukuba ufumana ixesha elingakumbi lokuba yedwa.
“Kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuba wonk’ ubani ufanele abe nexesha lokuba yedwa emtshatweni aze alondoloze indawo yakhe yobuqu.” Noko ke, ukuba umfazi wakho ubonakala onwabe ngakumbi ngalo lonke ixesha uhamba, ngoko oko akubhekiseli kuye yedwa.” Yinzondo ayivayo xa ukufutshane nawe. Ngokuphathelele umfazi wakho, uyingxaki kubudlelwane. Nikela ingqalelo kwinkangeleko yobuso bakhe nemo yakhe xa niphuma naxa nibuyela ekhaya.
9 Ukuba ukhe waqhatha kwixesha elidluleyo, usenokungatyali mali emtshatweni
Imitshato engalunganga ayibangeli ukungathembeki, yenye indlela. Ukuba umfazi wakho uye wakhohlisa kwixesha elidlulileyo okanye uyamkrokrela ukuba uyakopela kuwe, yiflegi enkulu ebomvu. UDevaleena uthi: “Zininzi izizathu ezibangela ukuba ibhinqa liqhathe emtshatweni.” Yaye ukuba likhe laqhatha neqabane elinye okanye langaphambili, oko kusenokubonisa ukuba akazibophelelekanga kulwalamano lwakhe.” Kunokuba lucelomngeni ukuqhuba umtshato emva kokuba ukuthembana kuphelile. Ukuba
uqhathwe ngumfazi wakho kwixesha elidlulileyo kwaye uqala ukubona iipatheni ezifanayo zidlala kwakhona, inkxalabo yakho iyasebenza. Nangona kunokwenzeka ukuba Yakha kwakhona ukuthembela kubudlelwane bakho emva kokuqhathwa, ipateni ephindaphindayo akufanele ihoywe. Qaphela ukuba ifowuni yakhe isoloko ixakekile okanye ukuba ukhusela kakhulu ifowuni yakhe kuba ezi zibonakaliso ze-cheating umfazi akufanele zihoywe. Ukuba uqaphela iimpawu zokukuqhatha, amathuba okuba aphume emtshatweni nawo akulula kangako.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezili-10 zoMfazi wakho uyakuqhatha
10. Isandi sokuba…akukho nto?
Ziziphi iimpawu umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya? Ukuba umfazi wakho uyekile ukuxabana nawe ngayo nantoni na, kufuneka ube nexhala. Inyaniso okoko nje umfazi ekhathalele kwaye ebona ikamva emtshatweni, uya kutyala ixesha namandla akhe ekwenzeni ukuba usebenze. Oku kuya kuvakala kungaqhelekanga kodwa ukuba uyekile ukuxabana okanye ukuvakalisa izimvo zakhe, oko kubonisa ukuba engqondweni yakhe sele ewuncamile umtshato.
Sukuphosisa oku kuthuleka ngoxolo, eneneni kukuzola phambi kwesaqhwithi. Isizathu sokuthula kukuqhawuka konxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo ahlangabezana nako nawe. Ukungabikho konxibelelwano kuyichaphazela kakubi imitshato. Oku kuthula kubuhlungu lixesha apho egxile ekwakheni ubomi ngaphandle kwakho. Le yenye yezona zibonakaliso zibuhlungu umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya.
11. Ingaphezulu kokuchetywa kweenwele esitsha kunye nokuvuselela i-wardrobe yakhe
Ngaba umfazi wakho uqalise ukunikela ingqalelo ngakumbi kwinkangeleko yakhe? U-Devaleena uthi, “Utshintsho olukhulu kwinkangeleko yakhe lukuxelela ukuba ubuyisela ingqalelo kuye. Kufuneka akhangeleke kakuhle kubomi obuphambi kwakhe.”
Ukuba inkosikazi yakho isandula kuchetywa entsha kwaye kubekho iindawo zokuthenga ezininzi kunesiqhelo, inokukothusa kodwa lolunye lweempawu ezifihlakeleyo ukuba inkosikazi yakho ifuna ukukushiya. Usebenzisa amandla akhe ukuba azithande kuba elungiselela ubomi bakhe ngaphandle komtshato. Inokuba sele ebona umntu. Awunako ukukhupha ithuba lokuba ezi zinokuba yimiqondiso ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukuqhatha okanye mhlawumbi sele ekhona.
12. “Ndicinga ukuba umfazi wam uceba ukundishiya, uphepha abahlobo nentsapho yam”
UDevaleena uthi: “Xa umfazi wakho eyekile ukwenza umgudu wokwenza umtshato uphumelele yaye enikela ingqalelo ekuzakheleni ubomi, akayi kuba nasizathu sakuba nomdla kubomi bakho.
Ukungathabathi nxaxheba kwakhe kubomi bakho bentlalontle kukubonisa ukuba akanamdla ebantwini abanento yokwenza nawe. Ukuba uhlala enezizathu zokuba kutheni engakwazi ukuhlala nabahlobo bakho, lolunye lweempawu ezicacileyo ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya. Kodwa nam andizukuyenza ngokubanzi, kuba ukuba uyaluphepha unxibelelwano loluntu, usenokuba kunjalo ujongene nobunzima bobomi obuphakathi, uhamba into ethile kubomi bakhe bomsebenzi, okanye mhlawumbi akabathandi abahlobo bakho kwaye akasaziva mfuneko yokuzenzisa.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezi-8 zoMfazi Okhohlakeleyo
13. Ubomi bakhe bentlalontle buxakeke ngequbuliso ngumsebenzi
Ngaba ukhe wadibana nobuso obutsha nobungaziwa mva nje? UDevaleena uthi, “Ukuba uphawula ukuba ubomi bomtshato bomfazi wakho busebenza ngakumbi kunanini na ngaphambili yaye ubona abantu abatsha, oko kubonisa ukuba umfazi wakho sele ethabathe amanyathelo okuzikhwebula kwindawo ahlala kuyo yaye ukhangela amava nabantu abatsha.”
Uya kuhlala enesicwangciso sempelaveki nabahlobo bakhe, oogxa bakhe. Oku kunokuquka abantu abatsha kwaye olo luphawu lokuba wothuke. Qaphela ukuba uyacaphuka xa umbuza ngezicwangciso zakhe. Kuyaqondakala ukuba oku kunokukushiya ukuziva ulilolo emtshatweni wakho. Ezi zimpawu umfazi wakho ufuna ukukushiya kuba akasenamdla kwinkampani yakho. Unenkqubo yakhe yenkxaso.
14. Aninxulumananga ngokweemvakalelo omnye komnye
“Umfazi wam ugqibile ngam, yaye ngokunyanisekileyo, andisacingi nokuba ndiyamazi,” wasibhalela omnye umfundi, efuna icebiso ngendlela yokusingatha le meko ilungileyo. Ingxaki engundoqo emtshatweni wabo yayikukuqhawuka kweemvakalelo. UDevaleena uthi, “Ukuqhawuka kweemvakalelo emitshatweni kuyanda kwesi sizukulwana. Kukhula kancinci kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe emtshatweni, kwaye okukhona kuqondwa ngokukhawuleza, kokukhona kuchacha ngokukhawuleza.”
Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba umfazi wakho azive edityanisiwe ngokweemvakalelo kuwe. Zibuze ukuba awuzange umhoye na ngaphambili. Ngaba kukho utshintsho olukhulu emtshatweni kubantwana okanye kwindlela yokuphila? Endaweni yokuphakuzela ngenxa yengcinga ethi “umfazi wam ugqibile ngam”, nqumama uze ucinge ngezizathu ezinokwenzeka emva koko. Mhlawumbi, unokufumana indlela yoku phinda uqhagamshelane neqabane lakho ukulungisa lo monakalo.
15. Awusenguye umntu ozithembayo kuye
Kusenokudinwa ukuhlala uzicingela, “Ndicinga ukuba umfazi wam uceba ukundishiya.” Kodwa olu loyiko alunasihlahla ukuba umfazi wakho uyekile ukwabelana nawe ngezinto. Abasetyhini bayakuthanda ukuza kwaye babelane ngeziqwengana zokwenzekileyo ngemini yabo. Ndiqinisekile ukuba sele uyazi ngale nto. Kodwa uyekile ukwabelana nawe ngoku?
Ukuba umfazi wakho uyekile ukuzityand’ igila kuwe, loo nto ibonisa ukuba kukho umntu othathe indawo yakho. Ukuba unethamsanqa, oku kunokuba kuqaliswe ngu iimpazamo zonxibelelwano eziqhelekileyo ukuba izibini ezininzi zenza. Sithi sinethamsanqa kuba wakuba uzibonile, kuyenzeka ukuba usebenze kwiipateni zakho kwaye ulungise umonakalo.
Noko ke, ngokufuthi ngakumbi, xa oku kusenzeka, isizathu sikukuba iqabane lakho lifumene omnye umntu elinokuzityand’ igila kuye omqondayo ngendlela ongazange wenze ngayo. Ukuba umntu unokuba ngumsebenzi asebenza naye okanye umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, sisilumkiso seflegi kuwe kuba ukungazithembi kwiqabane lakho konakalisa ubudlelwane obungaphaya kokulungiswa. Kungokwemvelo ukuziva ukhathazekile kwaye uzive ulahlekile emva kokufumanisa ukuba awuseyondawo yakhe ekhuselekileyo.
16 “Umfazi wam ugqibile ngam, kukho ukusilela ekuziphatheni kwakhe”
Ukungazibophelelanga kunokubonakaliswa kukungathembeki emtshatweni. UDevaleena uthi, “Ukuba umfazi wakho akafuni kuthwala imbopheleleko efunekayo ngokuzibophelela emtshatweni wakhe, unotyekelo lokungathembeki.”
Esinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuqhawuka komtshato kukungazimiselani omnye komnye. Kanye ukuzola kungene emtshatweni wakho, elinye okanye omabini amaqabane aqala ukubhadula kulwalamano aze aqalise ukuwathabatha lula amaqabane awo. Iingxaki zakho ziba nzima ukuba isithathu singena kwinxaki yakho.
17. Ukwenza uzive ungafunwa
Ekuqaleni, yimvakalelo eyenzeka ngamaxesha athile kwaye ungazama kwaye uziqinisekise ukuba usidenge kwaye awukhathali. Kodwa le mvakalelo iyaqhubeka kwaye ngesizathu esibambekayo: iinzame zakho zokuqalisa ubuhlobo obusondeleyo azibuyiselwa, kwaye umfazi wakho ukude ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uyaphazamiseka xa ekufutshane nawe. Zonke ezi zizizathu zenkxalabo.
Ukungabuyiselwa kothando lwakho kunye nomzamo wakho kubuhlungu. Ukutyhalela kude amaqabane abo kuphakathi izinto ezenziwa ngabafazi ezibulala uthando emtshatweni, kwaye oku kwenzeka kuphela xa baye bahlola ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni. Ukuba umfazi wakho usoloko exakekile yaye akazinzi ixesha kwanasemva kokuba ekuqinisekisile ukuba uya kwenjenjalo, oko kubonisa ukuba akasenamdla emtshatweni.
Yintoni Emawuyenze Xa Umfazi Wakho Efuna Ukukushiya
Iimpawu zokuba umfazi wakho uceba ukukushiya zibubungqina bokuba ngaxa lithile nakhe nayeka ukusebenza kulo mtshato. Ukuba ujongisisa, uya kukwazi ukuyibona 6 iimpawu ukuba umfazi wakho akasakuthandi. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba sisiphelo sendlela kuni njengesibini. Unokuzijika izinto, ukuba uzimisele ukwenza umsebenzi ofunekayo ukuvusa umtshato obhubhayo.
Khumbula, kanye njengokuba iRoma yayingakhiwanga ngosuku nje olunye, ukuzibophelela emtshatweni kufuna umsebenzi oqhubekayo. Yonke incoko encinci ibalulekile, wonke umkhwa omncinci ubalulekile. Kubalulekile ukuba ubeke ingqalelo, yonke imihla. Nazi ezinye zezinto onokulungisa kuzo ukuba umfazi wakho ugqibe kwelokuba akushiye:
1. Yiya kunyango lwezibini
Yintoni omawuyenze xa ubona iimpawu ezithiye umfazi wakho? Ukuya kunyango lwezibini kunokuba yeyona nto ilungileyo ekusindiseni umtshato. Xa umfazi wakho engasakuthandi, zama ukusebenza kuyo kwaye ulubuyisele olo thando ngokutshintsha iipatheni kunye nokuziphatha. Ngokufanelekileyo, omabini amaqabane kufuneka aye kwiingcebiso zezibini kwaye afumane iindlela ezintsha zokusebenza kule nxaki.
Kodwa, khumbula ukuba unyango lwezibini alulonyango olungummangaliso oluya kwenza zonke iingxaki zakho zihambe. Research ibonisa ukuba impumelelo yonyango inento yokwenza nengqondo yomxhasi kunohlobo lonyango. Ke, iingcebiso zisebenza ngcono kubathengi abasondela kunyango ngembono enethemba kunye nentando yokwenza utshintsho. Ke ngoko, wena nenkosikazi yakho kufuneka nibe nomonde, nibe nomdla, nibe nehlombe kwaye ningaguquguquki kolu hambo. Unyango lwe-Intanethi oluvela Abacebisi ngeBonobology iye yanceda izibini ezininzi kwiimeko ezifanayo kwaye ukuba ufuna ingcali ukunceda, kucofa kuphela kude.
2. Sebenza ekuzikhathaleleni nasekuzithandeni
Ukuba umfazi wakho ugqibe kwelokuba akushiye, ayisiso isiphelo sehlabathi. Ngazo zonke iindlela, nika konke okusemandleni akho kulo mtshato kodwa ungaze wenze ulonwabo lwakho luxhomekeke kumntu ongatshatanga kangangokuba uzive ngathi awunakuphila ngaphandle kwakhe. Ukuchitha ixesha uwedwa kuya kukwenza uguqulelo olungcono kuwe kwaye ngenxa yoko, ube ngumyeni ongcono kumfazi wakho. Kwaye nokuba umfazi wakho uyakushiya, oku kuzithanda kuya kukunceda uvale isithuba esikhulu ebomini bakho.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezi-8 zokuzilahlela kubudlelwane kunye namanyathelo ama-5 okuzifumana kwakhona
Ke, ngalo lonke ixesha, thatha 'ixesha lam'. Isenokuba kukuhamba wedwa, ukuya kuthenga wedwa kudederhu lweevenkile, ukutya wedwa kwindawo yokutyela, ukubaleka unxibe ii-earphones, ukufunda incwadi, okanye ukusela wedwa kwindawo yebhari. Yiba ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni. Fumana ikhaya lakho kuwe. Funda ukonwabela ukuba kunye nawe.
Iimpawu umfazi wakho aceba ukukushiya akulula ukuzityisa. Usenokuziva ulilolo, uxhalabile, udandathekile yaye udakumbile. Ubuhlobo buya kukunceda kakhulu kwesi sigaba sinzima. Zinike ixesha lezihlobo zasebuntwaneni, ezikuthandayo naxa zibuhlungu kakhulu kwaye zingakugwebi okanye zikwenze uzive ngathi kufuneka uzenzise ukuze wamkeleke kubo.
3. Yiba nobuchule emtshatweni wakho
Ukuzibophelela nokuthembeka emtshatweni kuba lula xa kukho imvo entsha. Ke, ukuqaphela iimpawu umfazi wakho akuthiyileyo kukuvuka ukuze uhlaziye umtshato wakho. Thetha ngengqondo uze nemibono yokuyila ukubuyisela intlantsi emtshatweni wakho. Yiba ngumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. Hambani kwizinto ezintsha kunye. Oku kuya kuwomeleza umtshato wakho. Ukukhwela umlambo, ukungcamla iwayini, ukudlala intenetya, iiklasi zeSalsa/Bachata, ukwenza abahlobo abatsha njengesibini, inokuba ngokoqobo nantoni na.
Kodwa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buxhaphake ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwasengqondweni, kungcono nahlukane. Ukuxhatshazwa kufuneka kungangqinelani. Ukuba imiba ibe mikhulu kangangokuba nangona kukho iinzame zamaqabane omabini kubonakala ngathi akukho sisombululo, kungcono ukuhlukana. Ukuba wedwa kunokuba nemingeni yako ebomini. Ezi zisenokuba zezentlalo, ezengqondo kunye nezemali. Ukanti, ukujamelana nemiphumo yokuhlala kumtshato ongonwabanga, ingakumbi ukuba kukho ukuxhatshazwa okubandakanyekileyo, akuyomfuneko.
Iimpawu eziphambili
- Ukuba umfazi wakho ugcina iimfihlo kuwe kwaye uziva engaxhumene nawe ngokweemvakalelo, ezi ziimpawu umfazi wakho afuna ukukushiya.
- Ezinye iimpawu ziquka i-spike kubomi bakhe boluntu kunye nezitenxo kwindlela yakhe yokuziphatha
- Ukuba uziva ungafunwa kwaye uyekile ukuzityand’ igila kuwe, ezi ziimpawu ukuba umfazi wakho akasakuthandi.
- Xa umfazi wakho efuna ukukushiya, ungazama ukuwusindisa umtshato ngokuthi uye kunyango lwezibini, ufumane iindlela zokuzithanda, kwaye uzame imisebenzi emitsha kwaye uphinde ufumane izinto ezifanayo kunye naye.
Kusenokuba nzima ukufumanisa ukuba umtshato wakho usenokuba uphelile. Usenokude uzibhaqe sele ukwimo yeemvakalelo yaye oko kunokuphetshwa ngokufuna uncedo lweengcali. Kunokwenzeka ukusindisa umtshato xa abantu ababini befuna ukusebenzisana. Hlala ucamngce ngomtshato wakho emva kokufunda eli nqaku. Zibuze ukuba umi phi kwaye ukuba lo mtshato ufanele ukuwugcina okanye awukho?
FAQs
Abasetyhini bayawashiya amadoda xa bengahoywanga kwaye beziva bengafunwa. Ukuba umfazi akasawufumani umtshato wakhe uyenelisa, akanasizathu sokuhlala kuwo. Ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni nako kunegalelo ekubeni afune ukuwuqhawula umtshato.
Kukho iindlela ezimbini zokuhlangabezana nale nto. Unokunxibelelana naye kwaye nixoxe ngeengxaki ezikhokelele ekubeni enze esi sigqibo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyenzile isigqibo malunga noko akukho nto imyekisayo. Enye kukubonisa indlela oziphatha ngayo kunye nobomi bakho kwaye ugxile ekukhuleni njengomntu.
Ukufuna uncedo lwengcali yeyona nto ilungileyo onokuthi uzenzele yona kwimeko xa umfazi wakho efuna ukuphuma emtshatweni. Ukululekwa ngomtshato kunokuzisa imbono entsha kwisibini ngokunika imbono engakhethi cala. Inokusebenza njengendawo ekhuselekileyo yeemvakalelo ngokuvumela isibini ukuba sithethe izinto ebesingenakukwazi ukuzithetha.
Izizathu ezi-5 zokuba kutheni iMicimbi yaNgaphandle komtshato ivuleleke ngakumbi ngoku
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
