5 Iincoko Omawubenazo Ngaphambi Kokutshata Ukuze Uphephe Iingxaki Kamva

Kuphela kusemva kokuba ukubengezela komtshato kuyehla kunye nokubetha kwenyani, apho izibini ziqala ukuzibuza ukuba kutheni zingazange zibe neencoko ezithile ngaphambi kokuba zidibanise iinqwelo zazo. Ithetha ngokufuduswa kwemisebenzi, imiba yokuchuma, iintsapho ezandisiweyo kunye neqashiso. Ezi zizinto ekufuneka nizixoxe phambi komtshato.

Ngokufuthi, ngenxa yemincili yomtshato osondela ngokukhawuleza, iincoko ezinjalo ubani afanele abe nazo ngaphambi komtshato, zisenokuthabatha isihlalo esingasemva. Kodwa ukuba ulwalamano lwenu luthabathe ixesha elide yaye nicinga ngokulibopha iqhina, izinto eninokuncokola ngazo ngaphambi komtshato ngokuqinisekileyo zimele zixutyushwe.

Enkosi kwiinkwenkwezi zakho ukuba awukatshintshi izibhambathiso, kuba nantsi izihloko ezimbalwa onokuzihamba nekofu yakho (ekukhethwa ukuba ingabi yiwayini) enokukunceda wenze isigqibo sokugqibela.

5 Iincoko Onazo Ngaphambi Kokutshata

Ngokutsho survey, ngama-60 ekhulwini kuphela amabhinqa kunye nama-52 ekhulwini amadoda abelane ngemivuzo yawo nabanye ababalulekileyo. Kuluhlu lwezinto ekufuneka izibini zithetha ngazo ngaphambi komtshato, imivuzo kunye neemali kufuneka zithathe indawo yokuqala, kodwa njengoko sibona, isengumba ongahoywanga ngendlela emangalisayo.

Awufuni ukufumanisa malunga netyala elingahlawulekiyo leqabane lakho emva ubuyile kwihoneymoon yakho ebizayo, ubuyile? Nokuba uyathanda okanye awuthandi, iingxoxo zemali ziyinxalenye yenkqubo yangaphambi komtshato.

Usenokuba uphambene eluthandweni, okanye usenokuba uhamba nje. Kodwa nasiphi na isicwangciso sakho, kufuneka hlala uthandana nomntu ubomi bakho bonke. Ngoko kunyanzelekile ukuba nixubushe ngezi ngongoma zintlanu ngaphambi kokuba nitshate ukuze niziqonde kakuhle enoba niyavumelana kusini na.

Ngaphandle kokulinda, masingene kuyo, hleze ingqondo yakho yokulibazisa ikunike esinye isizathu sokulibazisa ukubuza le mibuzo ibalulekileyo ukuba uyixoxe ngaphambi komtshato.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Uthando Emva komtshato-iindlela ezili-9 zahlukile kuthando ngaphambi komtshato

1. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo onokuthetha ngayo ngaphambi komtshato yimali

Siyazi, siyazi. Ezemali ayisiyiyo kanye eyona nto inomdla wokuxoxa, kodwa okona ube nencoko kwangethuba, kungcono. Ngokuka a isifundo, “indlela elinye iqabane eliyisebenzisa ngayo imali” ngunobangela wesithathu ngobukhulu woqhawulo-mtshato. Asikokubaxa izinto ukuthi ezi zihloko zomtshato zengxoxo zinokukusindisa kwimeko embi kakhulu.

Ukusuka ekongeni ukuya ekulawuleni imali kunye neenjongo zemali ukuya kwisimo sengqondo ngamatyala, le ngxoxo inokuba nenkohliso malunga nemali ibalulekile.

“Ndandimthanda gqitha umyeni wam, yaye njengezinye izibini ezininzi, ndandithandana ‘.siza kuyiqonda njengoko sihamba' ukusondela. Kwaba kusemva kwexesha endathi ndafumanisa ngalo amatyala omyeni wam. Ngoko nangoko ndalungisa le meko, ndenza iphepha leendleko, ndaza ndaqalisa ukubeka iliso kwindlela esiphuma ngayo. Kwasithatha iminyaka emibini ukuhlawula amatyala, kodwa siyavuya kuba sele egqibile,” utsho umanejala wezorhwebo uRachel oneminyaka engama-34 ubudala.

2. Ukuxoxa ngeembono zakho zesini yingxoxo yomtshato ekufuneka ube nayo

Into eyenzekayo phakathi kwamaphepha yinto ethatha isigqibo emtshatweni wakho. Yontoni eyakho ukuhambelana ngokwesondo njengaye? Ngaba iimfuno zakho kunye neemfuno zakho zihlala kakuhle kunye? Kuthekani ukuba omnye wenu uthanda izinto ezichasene ngokupheleleyo nale nto ifunwa liqabane lakho?

Isazi ngengqondo esizinze eMumbai uDeepali Shetty sithi: “Awunakukwazi ukukhupha iintlobano zesini emtshatweni wakho.

3. Imibuzo emayixoxe phambi komtshato: zithini izimvo zakho ngokuba nabantwana?

Ngaphambi kokuba ube nencoko malunga 'indlela yokukhulisa umntwana', qiniseka ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ukuba nomntwana njengawe. Umbuzo omkhulu kangaka awunakushiywa de nitshate kwaye kufuneka kuxoxwe ngawo phambi kokuba nitsibe ngeenyawo zombini. Awumbuzi umqeqeshi we-scuba-diving ukuba zithini iingcamango zabo kwiitanki ze-oksijini emva uye wantywila, akunjalo?

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Imibuzo engama-25 omawuyibuze ngaphambi komtshato ukuze ubekelwe ikamva

“Ukuba nomntwana kwindawo ephakathi kweminyaka emibini ukuya kwemihlanu yomtshato yeyona nto yokwemvelo, kodwa xa ndathetha ngalo mbandela emva kweminyaka emithathu nditshatile, umyeni wam wathi akabafuni abantwana, yaye wacinga ukuba nam andifuni—kuba nje ndandibabona ngexesha lekholeji,” utsho njalo umhlohli waseZumba oneminyaka engama-33 ubudala uNatasha.

Kwamthatha ngaphezulu konyaka ukuba asonge intloko yakhe kwinto yokuba akasoze abe ngumama, ubuncinci nomfana awayetshate naye ngoku. Uthi: “Kodwa ndiyamthanda umyeni wam, yaye andinakufuna ukumshiya ndize ndenze iintsana nomnye umntu.

4. Ukwahlulahlula imisebenzi yasekhaya 

Izibini ezininzi azifane zilwe ngaphambi kokuba zitshate, kodwa ingqumbo iqalisa ukukhula xa sele uqalile ukwabelana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya emtshatweni. Isenokungabonakali incoko enkulu, kodwa xa ukhupha inkunkuma ngocoselelo, uya kucaphukela ukujonga egxalabeni lakho ukuze ubone ukuba iqabane lakho alikhange lizihlambe na izitya ebekufanele lizenze.

URichard uthi: “Umfazi wam wagqiba kwelokuba aphumle emsebenzini emva komtshato, yaye ekubeni sasifudukele kwiindawo ezihlala edolophini, ndacinga ukuba uza kwenza eminye yemisebenzi yasekhaya enjengokutya iziqhamo nemifuno, ukongamela umpheki, ndilungise iimpahla, yaye ngeempelaveki ndandisenza konke okusemandleni am.

“Kodwa into eyandimangalisayo kukuba, wasuka wagabadela ngokulingana ngokwesini waza waqalisa ukundibiza ngomcinezeli.Kunyaka omnye sitshatile, savumelana ukuba sohlukane sobabini.Umtshato awuyontengiselwano,” wongezelela ngokuzisola. Ngoko “umbuzo onzima” yinto enimele niyibuze ngaphambi kokuba nitshate.

5. Thethani ngeembopheleleko njengabazali

Ngaphambi kokuba ubophe iqhina, ukuba nabantwana kunye noxanduva oluqhubekayo lubonakala lukude kakhulu kwixesha elizayo kangangokuba iingxoxo zinokulibaziseka. Kodwa ezi zizinto enifanele nizixubushe ngaphambi komtshato ukuze kwixesha elizayo, kungenzeki ukungavisisani.

“Sobabini sasinemisebenzi ehlawula imali eninzi, eyayifuna ingqalelo yethu imini yonke. Ekuphela kwexesha esasinokulichitha sobabini yayiyimpelaveki. Xa ndandikhulelwe, ikhefu lokubeleka laphakamisa umbuzo omkhulu—ngubani owayeza kuthatha uxanduva oluncinane emsebenzini aze ancedise ngakumbi endlwini? Jess.

Xa iiNgcoko zisiya eMzantsi: Yintoni omawuyenze xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle

Ngoko ke, nigqibe ekubeni nincokole ngezinto ezimele zincokolwe ngabantu abatshatileyo ngaphambi komtshato, yaye njengoko kwavelayo, akuzange kuhambe kakuhle. Mhlawumbi ufuna abantwana, kwaye iqabane lakho alifuni. Mhlawumbi usematyaleni kwaye iqabane lakho alinakukwazi ukuzibamba uxinzelelo lwezemali kubudlelwane bakho. Umbuzo ngoku uba: yintoni elandelayo?

UkuFunda okudibeneyo: Izinto ezili-50 zokuxoxa ngaphambi komtshato

Xa izihloko zomtshato zengxoxo zikwenza uqonde ukuba kukho okungakumbi ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze ngaphezu kothando, zibuze ukuba yintoni i-deal-breaker kwaye yintoni engekho. Ngaba uya kukwazi ukuyifaka isisu into yokuba iqabane lakho aliyi kuba nabantwana, ngelixa wena uyabafuna?

Ukwenza isigqibo, nokuba kunzima kangakanani na, kuyafuneka apha. Zama ukungavumeli iimvakalelo zikulawule, kwaye wenze isigqibo esinengqiqo malunga noko ukulungeleyo kunye noko ungenako ukudlula.

Mhlawumbi elona cebiso lilungileyo esinokukunika lona kukuthetha nomcebisi ngobudlelwane. Awuyi kukwazi nje ukufumanisa ukuba yeyiphi eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokwenza, kodwa uya kuba nokuqonda okucacileyo kwento ekufuneka uyenzile ukuze ufike apho. Ukuba ngoku ujonge umntu wokukukhokela kwinkqubo, iBonobology ine inkitha yabacebisi abanamava ngubani ongathanda ukukunceda ngazo naziphi na iingxaki zobudlelwane.

Okukhona ulazi iqabane lakho phambi kokuba utshate, ngcono. Izinto omawuthethe ngazo phambi komtshato esikudweliselele zona ziya kukunceda nifikelele kwizigqibo ezifanayo kwimixholo ebaluleke kakhulu. Xa ungavumelani ngeenjongo zexesha elizayo, amandla akho anokuchaphazeleka ngenxa yabo, kungekudala okanye kamva. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba into enjalo ayenzeki, hlala phantsi iqabane lakho kwaye ube nencoko kunye nalo! Uya kuvuya kuba uye wenjenjalo.

Izinto onokuzixoxa ngaphambi komtshato kunye neqabane lakho elilindelekileyo lobomi

Ngaba Ukuhlala Ndawonye Ngaphambi Komtshato Kuthetha Ukuba Ukulungele Ukutshata?

Iincoko Omele Ubenazo Ngaphambi Kokutshata

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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