Imeko-intsingiselo kunye neempawu ezili-10 ukunye

Imeko ligama elitsha ngokwentelekiso kumhlaba wokuthandana, elisoloko livakala kwi-gen Z okanye kwizangqa ze-millennial. I-Urban Dictionary ichaza intsingiselo yemeko njengekhonkco okanye ibhondi phakathi kwamaqabane amabini ngaphandle kweleyibhile ethile yokuchaza imeko yabo. Ubume bemeko yesiqhelo vs umahluko wobudlelwane kukuba akukho kuzibophelela okanye ukukhetheka kwesi sivumelwano. 

Ukuzisa ingcaciso ethe kratya kwiimpawu zemeko yemeko, siye safumana ulwazi oluvela kwi-psychotherapist Hvovi Bhagwagar (MA kwiPsychology Psychology), onamava angaphezu kwamashumi amabini eminyaka kwinkalo yempilo yengqondo, uqeqesho, kunye nophando. Ke, ukuba ujonge intsingiselo yemeko, okanye uyazibuza ukuba ungayiphelisa njani imeko, funda uqhubeke.

Yintoni Imeko?

“Nayiphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane engekamiselwa, nalapho kungekho mvakalelo yokuzinikela, yimeko ekhoyo.” Ngamanye amazwi, lulwalamano olungenangcaciso icacileyo, apho ‘nibonana’ kodwa ‘ningathandani’.

Xa ukude, iimeko zikhangeleka zintle kakhulu kwaye masijongane nayo, noko inomtsalane. Ngubani ongafuniyo ukonwabela zonke iintlobano zesini ngaphandle kokujongana nomxholo othi 'Buya phi obu budlelwane?' imbumbulu idutyulwe kubo? Kodwa idrama yokwenyani iqala emva kokuba ungene kolu hlobo lobudlelwane. Kwakhona, ekubeni iimeko azinayo inkcazo ethile, zinokubonwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Makhe sixoxe ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeemeko.

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Iintlobo zeemeko

Ekuphela kwento echazayo yemeko yemeko kukuba akukho mibhalo okanye imida ekuvunyelwene ngayo okanye imida kwintsebenziswano. Oku kunokukhokelela kwiindidi ezininzi ezahlukeneyo zamalungiselelo njengoko abathathi-nxaxheba bengazi ukuba yintoni eyamkelekileyo nengamkelekanga. UHvovi uthi, “Ndiye ndabona izibini zisokola ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo iintlobo zeemeko kunye nexhala elibi lemeko. Makhe ndikunike imizekelo embalwa:

1. Ubume becala elinye

Apha, isibini sibandakanyeka kwisondo esimangalisayo kwaye sinobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Nangona kunjalo, omnye wabo uhamba ngeentsuku rhoqo ukugcina iinketho zabo zivulekile kwaye oku kwenza elinye iqabane lusizi, lidanile, kwaye lixhalabile. Kodwa bobabini bavumelene ngolu budlelwane obungazibophelelanga kwasekuqaleni, ngoko ke iqabane eliqhotyoshelweyo lifumana ukufumana phezu kobunzima bemeko.

2. Ubume bomzimba ngokupheleleyo

Sisenzo somzimba kuphela esisondeza esi sibini. Akukho unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo. Yenye yezo meko apho elinye iqabane lishiya indlu kanye emva kokwenza uthando. Kwaye kwakhona, elinye iqabane libuyela kwimvakalelo yokuba lithathwe njengento nje.

3. Ukudlala ngothando

Olu luhlobo lwemeko ngaphandle kwesondo. Badibana, bayathetha, kodwa ubuhlobo bezesondo busekude namanyathelo ambalwa. Kwilungiselelo elinjalo, ingcamango ethi “Ngaba lo mntu uya kuze andilwele ngokupheleleyo?” okanye “Ngaba iya kuze ikhokelele kwinto exabisekileyo?” ikunika ixhala lemeko."

Iimpawu ezili-10 zokuba ukwimeko

Okukhona kuchazwa ngokukhululekileyo kwaye kungacacanga unxibelelwano lwakho, kokukhona kunokwenzeka ukuba ukwimeko ethile. Ukuba ubhidekile malunga nemeko vs abahlobo abanokuxhamla, khumbula ukuba abahlobo-nge-benefits nayo inenkcazelo, okoko nje omabini amacala kwiphepha elifanayo.

Kwimeko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba omnye wenu uzimisele ngakumbi kunomnye, kwaye ekubeni akukho naziphi na iingxoxo malunga nokuba umi phi, ngokusisiseko udada kwi-limbo yobudlelwane. Ukongeza koku, iimeko zomgama omde okanye iimeko zabaxeshiswayo zinokuzisa ezabo iingxaki.

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“Kwimeko, isibini sikwindawo enjalo apho imida yobudlelwane azichazwanga ngolo hlobo, ayilokwabelana ngesondo nje okuqhelekileyo okanye asikuko ukuthandana. Oku kwenza ukuba kubenzima ebantwini ukuba baqonde ukuba mabaqhubeke njani na imeko” ubonisa u-Hvovi.

1. Ulwalamano aluhambelani

Xa kuxoxwa ngentsingiselo yemeko, ukungangqinelani lelinye lamagama okuqala athi qatha engqondweni ngenxa yokuba omnye, okanye nobabini, akacacanga malunga nento eniyenzayo omnye komnye okanye apho izinto zime phakathi kwenu. Ngomzuzu omnye bakhona uthando-ibhombu wena, into elandelayo uyazi, iphelile i-2 iiveki kwaye awuzange uve kubo. Ukungahambelani ngenye yezona flegi ezibomvu zesimo.

UMichael oneminyaka engama-27 ubudala uthi: “Ndandisoloko ndidibana nale ntombazana kangangeenyanga ezintathu. “Wayesonwaba kwaye sonwabe kakhulu. Kodwa wayenyamalala iintsuku zilandelelana, aze ngequbuliso aphinde abuye andihlambe ngothando kwakhona. Ngokwenene ndandingazi ukuba ndiza kumbona nini ngokulandelayo, okanye into esasiyenza.”

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2. Awukaluchazi ulwalamano

“Kwimeko, amaqabane asenokungakulungeli ukuba nengxoxo malunga nokunika ubuhlobo igama/ithegi,” utsho uHvovi. Ukuchaza ubudlelwane kuya kuthetha zonke iintlobo ezilindelekileyo kunye nokuvulelana ithuba malunga nokuqhelekileyo iinjongo zobudlelwane kunye neminye imiba esondeleyo, engahambelani nepsychology yesimo. 

3. Omnye wenu okanye nobabini ubona abanye abantu

Ukuba awukhange uchaze ubudlelwane, mhlawumbi awukaxoxi ukuba uyababona abanye abantu okanye hayi. Ke, ukuba omnye okanye nobabini ubona abanye abantu, kodwa awuqinisekanga ukuba ufanele uzive unetyala ngayo okanye lubudlelwane obuvulelekileyo, ukwimeko.

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UTanya oneminyaka engama-24 ubudala uthi: “Ndahamba nalo mfana ndidibene naye kangangeenyanga ezi-6 xa ndandisenza amadinga. 

4. 'Ubudlelwane' busekelwe ekululameni

Ubudlelwane beza kunye nokuvumelana kunye nokuphazamiseka. Kufuneka uhlengahlengise izicwangciso zakho kunye neeshedyuli kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, nkqu neenjongo zobomi, kunye nomnye umntu, ozenzayo ngokuzithandela ngenxa yothando kunye nothando. 

Leyo yimeko esisiseko vs umahluko wobudlelwane. Kwimeko, kuya kuba yinto elula. Mhlawumbi wena 

• Hlala kwindawo enye
• Ingaba ukuthandana nomntu osebenza naye okubangela ukuba kufutshane
• Bayakwazi ukubonisa kwizaziso ezimfutshane ngokulula

Okoko kumile oko, niya kube nibonana. Kodwa kamsinya nje ukuba kuthatha umzamo othe kratya, uya kubona ukuhla okuphawulekayo kunxibelelwano nakwiintlanganiso.

Kwimeko yomgama omde, ukuba anizenzi iinzame zokuthetha omnye nomnye okanye nibe nemihla ngemihla ye-cyber, kungaphezulu kwemeko ekude ngaphandle kwesondo. Kwaye, njengesiqhelo, akusayi kubakho ncoko malunga nokulindelweyo kunye nemithetho.

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5. Akukho mntu udibana nosapho okanye abahlobo

Uninzi lwe-rom-coms lujikeleza usuku olulungele umtshato wosapho oluthi ekugqibeleni lujike lube ngumcimbi wothando. Oku kunokwenzeka kwimeko, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba awuzukudibana neentsapho zabo okanye abahlobo konke konke njengoko injalo. uphawu lobudlelwane obunzulu. 

“Ngokwentlalo, iimpawu zemeko azifani nezo zezibini eziguqukayo.Kusenokungabikho ukulungela nokwazisa uluntu okanye izangqa zosapho ngalo mntu,” utsho uHvovi.

USally oneminyaka engama-25 ubudala, ozinandiphayo iimeko zakhe zokuzonwabisa uthi: “Andifuni mibuzo kubahlobo bam okanye kubahlobo bam. “Andikakulungeli ukuhlala ndixoxe ngendlela ulwalamano lwam nomntu olujongeka ngayo okanye lusingise phi. Ndilungile ngokungazi ukuba yintoni na, kwaye andifuni kuphoswa phantsi. Ngoko ke, andibikho kwiindibano zam zokuncokola.”

6. Anibhiyozeli iziganeko ezikhethekileyo kunye

Njengoko kuxoxiwe ngasentla, enye yeempawu zemeko eqhelekileyo kukuba usapho alunamiqathango. Ke, akunakwenzeka ukuba ulahle usapho lwakho kunye nabahlobo bakho abasondeleyo ngezihlandlo ezikhethekileyo kunye neeholide 'umntu okwimeko'. Kwakhona, ukuthumela umntu a isipho esikhethekileyo sokuzalwa okanye iintyatyambo ziya kufuna ukuba uzazi kakuhle kunye nezinto ezizithandayo. Ikwaluphawu ubucinga ngabo engawi phantsi kwemithetho yemeko.

Ngoku, imeko ekhoyo ayithethi ukuba anikhathalelanga kwaphela, kodwa ukubhiyozela iintsuku ezikhethekileyo kunye kunentuthuzelo esisiseko kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo obungakhange bubufumane kunxibelelwano lwakho. Unokubanqwenelela okuhle kodwa awuyi kuthetha ngeentyatyambo.

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7. Imihla ayiqhelekanga kakhulu

Ninokuhlangana amaxesha ambalwa ngenyanga kodwa anicebi ubusuku bomhla rhoqo. Xa kuvulwa ikhefi entle, entsha edolophini, ayingomntu wokuqala ocinga ngaye. Xa impelaveki ijikeleza, azicacanga engqondweni yakho kodwa awuchithi ubusuku bangoLwesihlanu kunye. Ukubeka iinzame ezaneleyo zokucwangcisa kwaye ngokwenene wenze ubusuku bomhla kwenzeke, okanye ukuthatha okufutshane uhambo ngobusuku kunye, ayizizo iimpawu eziphambili zemeko.

UKristen uthi: “Ndadibana nentombazana emsebenzini saza sahlukana. “Saphuma izihlandlo ezimbalwa saza sonwaba, asizange sithethe ukuba izinto zisingise phi, ngoko asizange sohlukane okanye senze nantoni na. Sasiqhubeka sibonana maxa wambi kodwa kwakungekho ngcamango okanye ulindelo lokuchitha iimpelaveki kunye.”

8. Akukho nxibelelwano lunzulu

Yonke into esiyenzayo kubudlelwane - ukuchitha ixesha kunye, ukudibana nosapho kunye nabahlobo, njl njl. - kukwakha ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kunye noqhagamshelwano oluqinileyo nomntu esimbonayo. UHvovi uthi: “Kwimeko, amaqabane asenokuba madolw’ anzima ukuchaza iimvakalelo zawo omnye komnye aze akhethe ukuhlala kwindawo yokuncokola okanye ukulala nomntu ongathandani naye. Kuya kubakho umdla omncinci wokudlulela ngaphaya komphezulu kunye nokwazi omnye umntu kwinqanaba elinzulu. "

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9. Akukho ngxoxo malunga nekamva

Ubume bemeko buxhomekeke apha kwaye ngoku. Akukho kucinga kwangaphambili, kwaye akukho zicwangciso zenziwayo ezithatha ingqalelo enye kwenye. Mhlawumbi anazani ngokwaneleyo okanye anikaqinisekanga apho nimi khona, kangangokuba nina ningaboni ikamva kunye. Ngapha koko, ukuba akuqinisekanga malunga nexesha oza kuphinda ulibone iqabane lakho kwakhona, ukujonga phambili kubonakala kulilize.

Oku akuthethi ukuba awunakuze ube nekamva kunye. Ukuba kukho into oyifunayo, Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzenza:

• Yiba nengxoxo nomnye umntu kwaye uqinisekise ukuba bakwiphepha elinye. 
• Zibuze ngeemvakalelo zakho 
• Jonga ukuba azikho na xa usenza izicwangciso zexesha elizayo, uze ubone enoba awukho na kwezazo. 

Xa iimpendulo zingathembisi kakhulu, ukwimeko ethile.

10 Mhlawumbi unemizwa, kodwa ayilothando

Imeko enokuthi isekelwe kuncedo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba akukho mvakalelo ibandakanyekayo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba unobushushu obuthile komnye umntu, kwaye bunokubuyiswa. Kusenokubakho uthando, ubuhlobo nolonwabo lokwenene lokuba kunye. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kunjalo uthando lokwenyaniso.

Akukho lula ngenene ukuchaza uthando ngayo nayiphi na indlela ethile. Kodwa kukhuselekile ukuthi ngenxa yothando, uya kuhamba imayile eyongezelelweyo. Uyakufuna ukubanyamekela xa begula kwaye bekhohlela kwaye bajonge njengento ephumayo I-Exorcist. Uya kufuna ukwazi ii-quirks kunye ne-eccentricities yabo. Kwaye awuyi kukukhathaza ukwenza umzamo wokulungelelanisa ubomi bakho kunye nobakho. Uthando kukuqonda iimvakalelo ezinamandla uze wenze ngokuvisisana nazo yonke imihla. Imeko, ngelixa inokuthi iqulathe iimvakalelo, ayiyi kuhamba yonke indlela kunye nabo.

IiFlegi eziBomvu ezi-5 zokuQaphela

Iimeko zintsonkothile, ukutsho oko. Kukho ukungacaci okuninzi okubandakanyekayo kwaye awusoze uqiniseke ukuba iya kuhlala okanye uya kuhlala. hlukala ngomso. Kodwa ngaphandle kokungacaci, kukho ezinye iiflegi ezibomvu ongafanele uzinyamezele nakwimeko.

1. Ukunqongophala konxibelelwano

Unxibelelwano ngundoqo kuyo nayiphi na intsebenziswano enempilo. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuphepha ukuxoxa ngesimo sakho okanye ikamva lakho, lisenokungatyali mali kuwe njengoko unjalo kulo. Olu hlobo lokuziphatha lolunye lweempawu zemeko eyityhefu kwaye inokukushiya uziva ungaqinisekanga kwaye ungakhuselekanga.

2. Umsa ongaguqukiyo

Ukuba babonisa ukuziphatha okushushu kunye nokubanda, oko kuqinisekileyo iflegi ebomvu. Kuyinyani ukuba kwimeko yemeko awunakulindela utyalo-mali olukhulu ngokweemvakalelo njengobudlelwane obuzibophelele. Kodwa usafanelwe kukungaguquguquki kulo naluphi na ubungakanani bothando olukhoyo kwintsebenziswano yakho. Ukuba bahlala bekuthumelela imiyalezo kwaye bekubetha nge-emojis yentliziyo ngenye imini kwaye kusuku olulandelayo benza ngathi awukho, yiflegi ebomvu leyo.

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3. Iimvakalelo zakho azihlonitshwa

Kungakhathaliseki ukungabikho kokuzibophelela, kukho ezinye izinto ezifunekayo kuzo zonke intsebenziswano kungakhathaliseki ukuba ziqhelekileyo kangakanani. Intlonelo yenye inkalo enjalo. Ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ziyagxothwa, iinkxalabo zakho zingahoywa okanye imvume yakho ayihlonitshwa, leyo yiflegi enkulu ebomvu. 

4. Bazenza abongamileyo

Khumbula, nobabini nithetha ngokulinganayo kwintsebenziswano. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho lizama ukukulawula, likutyhalela ngento ongakhululekanga ngayo, okanye ukwenza izicwangciso ngaphandle kokuqwalasela izimvo okanye ukhetho lwakho, yiflegi ebomvu kulo naluphi na uhlobo lolungiselelo.

5. Uziva uxinezelekile kunokonwaba

Ukuba le meko ikwenza uxinezeleke ngakumbi kunovuyo okanye ulonwabo, zama ukufumanisa isizathu. Amathuba kukuba nokuba iqabane lakho ikuphethe kakubi okanye kufuneka uhlale uhamba phezu kwamaqokobhe amaqanda ngeenxa zonke kubo. 

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10 Imithetho yeMeko ekufuneka uyilandele ukuze uzikhusele

Ke ngokukhetha okanye ngethamsanqa, uzifumene kwenye yezi ntlobo zeemeko. Ngoku kuthweni? Kuya kufuneka ulumke kakhulu ngelixa ujongana nolwalamano olunjalo ukunqanda ukuba buhlungu. Nantsi eminye imigaqo yeemeko onokuthi uyilandele ukugcina uxolo lwakho lwengqondo: 

• Yigcine iqhelekile: Musa ukugcina naluphi na ulindelo lwekamva
• Zibeke kwindawo yokuqala: Hlonipha ucwangciso kunye nexesha lakho
• Veza iimfuno zakho: Ingcali yethu icebisa, "Nxibelelana ngeemfuno zakho kwimeko yemeko ngokucacileyo, kwaye kwangaxeshanye, uvule ukwamkela iimfuno zeqabane lakho."
• Zilumkele iimvakalelo zakho: Zihlukanise ukuba uqalisa ukuba neemvakalelo ezinzulu ngabo
• Musa ukuyenza isazulu sendalo yakho: Yenza indawo yobunye ubudlelwane obubalulekileyo ebomini bakho
• Phonononga: Logama nje kungekho zibophelelo zokuzikhethela, ungalibazisi ukubona abanye abantu
• Landela umgaqo-nkqubo othi 'musa ukubuza, ungaxeleli': Ukuthetha nge imithetho yemeko, uHvovi uthi, “Kusenokubakho izinto eningabelani ngazo omnye nomnye, yaye oko kuyinto eqhelekileyo.”
• Kuphephe ukubonisa ukuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo: UHvovi uthi, “Kwimeko ethile, lonke unxibelelwano phakathi kwabantu ababini luxhomekeke ekufihleni iimvakalelo zokwenyani nasekuphepheni ukuchanabeka ngokweemvakalelo. 
• Misela imida eqinileyo: U-Hvovi uyachaza, "Imida inceda ukulawula izinto ezilindelweyo, nto leyo ebaluleke kakhulu kwimeko-bume. Kwakhona ikunceda ubone omnye umntu ukuba ungubani kanye kanye kungekhona ngelensi enemibala yokuba ufuna ukuba ngubani." 
• Yonwabele ngoku ihleli: Ungalibali ukonwaba!

Ukuphelisa nini Imeko

Ekubeni ubudlelwane obungabophelelekanga bungenamhla wokuphelelwa yisikhathi, wazi njani ukuba uthathe nini izinto ukuya phambili okanye uqhubeke? Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba wenze njani phelisa imeko xa sele iwugqibile umzila wayo. Siyazi ukuba kulula ukuthetha kunokwenza kwaye i-psychology yesimo inzima. Ke nantsi imiqondiso embalwa onokuthi uyijonge ukuze ucinge ngokuphelisa imeko. 

1. Iinjongo zakho azihambelani nazo

Kwimeko ephilileyo, iinjongo zamaqabane omabini kufuneka zilungelelanise ukusuka ekuqaleni ukuthintela ulindelo olungahambelaniyo. Ukuba awukacaci ukuba bafuna ntoni, yiba nencoko ethe ngqo nabo. Kwaye ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo azihambelani, kusenokuba njalo ixesha lokuhamba.

2. Impilo yakho yengqondo isengozini

Inqaku elipheleleyo lokungafaki ileyibhile yobudlelwane bakho kukuba unokonwaba ngaphandle koxinzelelo loluntu. Ukuba ukuba kunye nabo kuqalisa ukukuzisela uxinzelelo ngakumbi kunovuyo, unokufuna ukuphinda uqwalasele ukhetho lwakho lobudlelwane.

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3. Utyale kakhulu kunabo

Ukuba uqaphela ukuba ubeka ixesha elininzi kunye nomzamo kubudlelwane ngaphezu kweqabane lakho, musa ukuyihoya. Unokucinga ukuba ulungile ngayo kodwa kungekudala okanye kamva, ukungalingani kuya kuchaphazela uxolo lwakho lwengqondo. Jonga ukuba incoko nabo inokuyitshintsha na imeko, okanye kungenjalo, hamba.

4. Uqala ukuziva usetyenziswa

Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba iqabane lakho licela kakhulu kuwe nokuba ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye kukwenza uzive udiniwe, kusenokuba lixesha lokuyibiza. Qwalasela le mibuzo:

• Ngaba iqabane lakho licela ukuba nisondelelane ngakumbi ngokwasemzimbeni kunokuba ukhululekile?
• Ngaba uhlala uzifumana uphulaphule ukukhupha kunye neemvakalelo zabo udiniwe ngokweemvakalelo?
• Ngaba sele kunzima kuwe ukwenza ixesha leentlanganiso kunye nemihla?

Ukuba enye yezi zinto ziyinyani, cinga ngokwahlukana.

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5. Iqabane lakho libonisa iimpawu eziyityhefu

Nokuba lubudlelwane okanye imeko, ubuthi akufunekanga bunyanyezelwe. Ukuba sele uqalisile ukuqaphela iimpawu ezinobuthi kwiqabane lakho, njengale:

• Ukunyanzelisa
• Ukukhanyisa ngegesi
• Ulwimi oluthukayo okanye izenzo
• Izimvo ezithukisayo ngomzimba wakho
• Ukwenza iziqhulo ngeendleko zakho okanye ukukujongela phantsi

Emva koko qhawula izinto ngokukhawuleza kangangoko unako. Ubume bemeko ayifanelanga impilo yakho yengqondo okanye ukhuseleko lwakho.

FAQs

Iingcinga Final

Eyishwankathela yonke le nto, uHvovi uthi, “Nangona isigama esimalunga nobudlelwane sisenokuba sitshintshile ngokuqala kwewaka leminyaka, iingqondo zethu ziqhubela phambili zijongana neemvakalelo ngendlela engaphelelwa lixesha nangendlela eqhelekileyo.

Ngelixa sisebenzisa amagama 'esithintelo' (afana nokuthandana, isoka/intombi/iqabane, ukuzinza) ukuchaza ubudlelwane kusishiya sinokhetho oluninzi, ngokwethuku lemvelo asinqunywanga kwiindima zeqabane ezingachazwanga kakuhle. Ke, izinto eziluncedo kunye nezingeloncedo kufuneka zijongwe ngengqondo sisibini ngaphambi kokuba sichaphazeleke ngokwasemoyeni. Kusenokuba nzima ukuqonda ukuba ungaqhubeka njani kwimeko ethile xa sele ungene kwilungiselelo elinjalo”

Imithetho ye-8 yokuthandana nabantu abaninzi ngexesha elinye

Imibuzo engama-21 ephikisanayo ngoBudlelwane ngokuthandana nomtshato

Imiba eyi-9 yengqondo yokuba nguMnye uMfazi

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.