Iimpawu ezili-15 zokuba uMfazi wakho akakuhloniphi (kunye nendlela omawujongane ngayo nayo)

Khawube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni woku: Umfazi wakho akazikhathaleli izinto onomdla kuzo. Ukunyanzela ukuba ubukele iimuvi, utye ngaphandle, okanye uhambe uhambo, konke oko akufunayo nangokwencasa yakhe. Akakuvumeli ukuba udibane nabahlobo bakho kwaye uhlala ehlekisa ngawe esidlangalaleni. Siyaxolisa ngokukuqhekezela mfondini, kodwa mhlawumbi ujongene nomfazi ongenambeko.

Ukugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nolonwabo emva komtshato akusiyo i-cakewalk. Ngokuqhelekileyo, izibini ezitshatileyo ziqala ukuthathana njengento encinci njengoko bezinza kwaye bekhululekile kubudlelwane. Kodwa ukuba, kuloo nkqubo, amaqabane alahlekelwa yintlonelo omnye komnye, kunokuba nzima ukugcina ubudlelwane ekuhambeni kwexesha.

Ngoko, kufuneka uphakame kwaye uphikisane nomfazi wakho, mzuzu uqala ukuqaphela iimpawu ukuba akakuhloniphi. Yonke i-jibe, yonke into ethethwayo, kunye nayo yonke iphotshot ayithathayo kuwe ayinakuphela nje ukukhupha isidima sakho, kodwa ukwahlula ukomelela komtshato wakho. Kwimeko enjalo, kubalulekile ukuqonda indlela yokujongana nomfazi ongenantlonelo nokuzikhusela (kwaye mhlawumbi nomtshato wakho, ukuba imiba ayingeni nzulu kakhulu). Ukuze senze oko, makhe sijonge iimpawu ezibonisa ukuba umfazi wakho akakuhloneli namacebiso ambalwa ngendlela yokuhlangabezana nale meko.

Ngubani Umfazi Ongenambeko?

Ngaphambi kokuba ufumane indlela yokuqhubana nomfazi ongenantlonelo, kufuneka wazi indlela yokuchonga. Emtshatweni, qabane ngalinye linokwenzakalisa elinye, nangona lingaqondanga. Into esiyithethayo kukuba ngenxa yokuba ethethe ngawe ukuba utyebile okanye uqhula ngawe epatini, oko akuthethi ukuba ebenqwenela ukukudelela.

Ukuze kuthiwe akunambeko, kufuneka kubekho umkhwa wokwenzakalisa. Xa abafazi bengabahloneli abayeni, baba ukuzingca kubudlelwane babo kwaye bangazikhathaleli iimfuno, iimfuno kunye nezimvo zamaqabane abo. Ngamanye amazwi, babonisa intlonipho eqanda ukuzithemba kwakho.

A Umsebenzisi weReddit ubalisa amava akhe okuqhubana nomfazi owayengenantlonelo: “Ngale ntsasa, njengoko sasilungiselela ukuya emsebenzini, umfazi wam wayefuna ukuboleka izinto ezininzi zam.” Ndamvumela kodwa emva kwemizuzu embalwa ndaqonda ukuba enye yezo zinto yayiyinto endandiyifuna nam ngaloo mini.

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“Waxhathisa waza wala, wacaphuka, waza wagqiba kwelokuba angandiboleki kwanto yam.” Ilizwi lakhe lavakala kum njengoko wayevakalisa ukucaphuka kwakhe ukuba ndingamvumeli ukuba asebenzise enye yezinto zam awayezifuna. Ngoku sele usazi ukuba umfazi odelela indoda yakhe unjani, makhe sijonge iimpawu ezibonisa indlela akukhathalele ngayo.

Iimpawu ezili-15 zokuba uMfazi wakho akakuhloniphi

Abafazi badla ngokungabahloniphi abayeni xa besazi ukuba abasayi kuze baphumelele yaye amaqabane abo akakwazi ukuzimela. Imeko inokuba maxongo ngakumbi ukuba indoda ine umfazi okhohlisayo, othanda ukudlala imidlalo yengqondo ukuze ahlale ehamba ngendlela yakhe. Into ekufuneka uyenzile kwiimeko ezinjalo kukumbuyisela umva ngexesha elifanelekileyo, umbekele imida, uqinisekise ukuba akagqibi, uze umbize ngendlela ebonisa ukungabi nantlonelo ngayo.

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Noko ke, ngaphandle kokuba uyazazi iimpawu zokungabi nantlonelo kolo lwalamano, akusayi kukwazi ukunceda umfazi wakho aphucule yaye akuyi kukwazi nokulondoloza ulwalamano lwenu. Nantsi into a Umsebenzisi weReddit Wathi ngemiqondiso awayiphawulayo xa wayeqhubana nomfazi owayengenantlonelo: “Xa enomsindo ngam, uya kuwukhulula umsesane wakhe womtshato, uncamathele abantwana phezu kwam.

Ezi zezinye zeempawu ezicacileyo zokungabi nantlonelo emtshatweni. Makhe sijonge ezinye iimpawu ezili-15 ezinje ukuba umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi:

1. Uyakugculela okanye uyakuthuka

Olunye umqondiso ocacileyo wokuba umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi kukuba uyakukhetha phambi kwabanye kwaye uyonwaba ngeendleko zakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, i-jibe okanye i-joke ngamaxesha athile ngeendleko zakho inokunyamezela, nokuba awuyixabisi. Nangona kunjalo, zilumkele ezi flegi zibomvu:

• Udla ngokuhlekisa ngawe phambi kwezihlobo okanye usapho lwakhe
• Usebenzisa iingxoxo zakho zabucala ukuze akuhlaze esidlangalaleni

Ukutshabhiswa ngamazwi kunokuba yingozi kakhulu emntwini impilo Yengqondo. Ngokuphathelele oku, isazi ngengqondo uNeha Anand uthi, ukuxhatshazwa ngamazwi “kunokonganyelwa buburharha obuchuliweyo. Ukungamhloneli ngolo hlobo umfazi wakho nako kuyakruqula. Usenokuziva udandathekile yaye ude ube likheswa ngenxa yoku.

2. Usoloko ekhalaza

Ngaba ngokufuthi uvakalelwa kukuba, kungakhathaliseki ukuba wenza ntoni na, umfazi wakho akabonakali anelisekile okanye angonwabanga? Eyakho umfazi usoloko ekukhalisa ukuba ngumntu ongcono kwaye akhalaze ngezinto ekungafanelanga ukuba zibaluleke kwasekuqaleni. Njengokuba,

• Akonelisekanga ngumvuzo wakho
• Uyayigxeka indlela okhangeleka ngayo
• Akonwabanga ngabahlobo bakho

Iba ngathi akukho nto uyenzayo emlungeleyo. Ezi ziimpawu zomfazi ongenambeko.

3. Akakumameli

Ukuba umfazi wakho akasakuhloniphi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akanakuze abe nayo nembeko yokukuphulaphula. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, umfazi odelela indoda yakhe:

• Anganika izizathu zokunqanda ukuthetha naye
• Ngamatye umyeni wakhe okanye amnike unyango cwaka kangangeentsuku, iiveki okanye iinyanga
• Usenokubonakala ephazamisekile xa umyeni wakhe ezama ukuthetha naye yaye usenokungabi namdla wokuva ngoloyiso okanye imizabalazo yakhe.

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4. Uyaluphepha uxanduva lwakhe

Enye yeempawu zomfazi ongahloneliyo kukuba akazi kwenza nawuphi na umgudu wokwabelana ngeembopheleleko zekhaya. Khumbula ukuba, ukuba abantu ababini abanasabelo ngokulinganayo kwimisebenzi yasekhaya nezinye iimbopheleleko, umtshato unokuba yingozi!

UStuart, endandisebenza naye, wayekwimeko efanayo yaye wakha wandibuza edanile, “Umfazi wam akandihloneli, ngaba ndifanele ndiqhawule umtshato? Umfazi kaStuart akazange aphumelele nje ukuthatha umama wakhe ogulayo kugqirha ngelixa wayehamba uhambo kodwa wenza idrama enkulu xa ebuzwa malunga neendlela zakhe zokungahoywa. Ngoko, uyabona, umfazi odelela indoda yakhe akanakuba a iqabane lobomi ngokunyaniseka ngokwenene.

5. Ugcina iimfihlo kuwe

Olunye uphawu olucacileyo ukuba umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi kuxa ekufihlela izinto ezinkulu nezincinane. Emtshatweni, omabini amaqabane afanele ukuba azi ngobomi bomnye yaye kulindeleke ukuba abelane ngamaphupha neentsilelo zawo omnye komnye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umfazi wakho ugcina iimfihlo kuwe malunga nobomi bakhe bomntu kwaye uyazi malunga nabo komnye umntu, ungayihoyi le flegi ebomvu. Iindlela zakhe ezifihlakeleyo zezinye zezona ziphambili iimpawu zokungahloniphi kubudlelwane bakho.

6. Ngokuphandle uncwasa abanye phambi kwakho

Olona phawu lukhulu lokungahloniphi kuxa into yokuba utshatile nawe ingamyeki ukuba ancwase abanye. Ngamanye amaxesha, phambi kwakho. Oku kuthetha ukuba iimvakalelo zakho azisenamsebenzi kuye. Xa kunjalo ukudlala ngothando kuba yingozi kwaye umfazi wakho ngokungenazintloni uvakalisa umdla wakhe kwamanye amadoda, inokuba sisithuko esigqithisileyo kuwe. Ke, usenokuba udlala ngothando neweyitala ngelixa ekunye nawe ngobusuku okanye nomnye wabasebenzi osebenza nabo kwitheko laseofisini. Oku kusenokude kukushiye uzibuza, “Umfazi wam akandihloneli, ngaba ndimshiye?”

7. Akaseyiyo inkqubo yakho yenkxaso

Iqabane lakho ngumntu ekufuneka eme ecaleni kwakho kwaye abe lilitye lakho, nokuba kwenzeka ntoni. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba akakuxhasi okanye akakuncedi ngamaxesha obunzima, lolona phawu lucacileyo ukuba umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi. Ukukugculela, ukuphoxa, nokukujongela phantsi kusenokuqhubeka kungathinteleki kwiimeko ezinjalo, nokuba ujongene nantoni na. Ukuba ukhangela iimpawu ezicacileyo umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi kwaye ikuthatha kancinci, zibuze ukuba unokuba sesichengeni na phambi kwakhe. Thetha ngokusilela kwamva nje kwaye ubone ukuba uyakuthuthuzela okanye uyakugculela.

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8. Uba kude ngokwasemzimbeni

Xa umfazi wakho eqalisa ukutyeshela iintswelo zakho zesini, mhlawumbi sele eqalise ukukujongela phantsi njengomntu. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, unokuzifumana ubambekile kwi- umtshato ongenazini ukanti unamathele kuye ngokweemvakalelo. Umhlobo wam, uKevin, wazifumana ekwimeko efanayo xa umfazi wakhe wayengafuni nokuba amwole okanye amphuze. Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha eqala ukwabelana ngesondo, wayedla ngokuba 'yintloko' okanye 'ozele.' Ekugqibeleni waqonda ukuba wayengenantlonipho kwiimfuno zakhe zokwenyama.

9. Akafuni kulalanisa

Nabuphi na ubudlelwane bexesha elide bufuna ukulungelelana kunye nohlengahlengiso oluvela kumaqabane omabini. Noko ke, kumfazi ongayihloniphiyo indoda yakhe, ukuyeka ukuma kwakhe okanye ukufumana isizathu esiphakathi ukuze acombulule ukungavisisani akuyonto inokwenziwa. Isoloko 'iyindlela yam okanye uhola wendlela' kuye. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukudinwa kobudlelwane inokuba ijikeleze ikona. Oku kukwangomnye weempawu ezicacileyo zokungabi nantlonipho emtshatweni.

Ngokomzekelo, ummelwane wam, uHelen, wayengafuni ukuyitshintsha indlela asebenzisa ngayo imali xa esi sibini sasinengxaki yemali. Wayesatya kwiivenkile zokutyela ezibiza imali eninzi aze athenge nempahla enegama. Kodwa wayelindele ukuba umyeni wakhe, uCalvin, ancame amalungu akhe ejimini aze achithe imali encinane ekuthengeni impahla nasekuzilungiseni.

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10. Awuseyiyo into ephambili kuye

Umzala wam, uLogan, wazifumana etyumke intliziyo xa umfazi wakhe, uAshley, wagqiba kwelokuba athabathe uhambo neqela leentombi zakhe kwangolo suku awabuyela ngalo ekhaya evela kuhambo lomsebenzi oluthatha iiveki ezintathu. Kwaye oko kwakhona, kwisikhumbuzo sabo. Wathi akuvakalisa ukungakholiseki kwakhe kuAshley, u-Ashley waphendula ngelithi ulibele ngesikhumbuzo nokuba uhambo sele luhlawulelwe.

Ewe, lo ngumzekelo apho umyeni wayehle kakhulu ngezantsi kuluhlu lwezinto eziphambili zomfazi kangangokuba ulonwabo lwakhe lwalungenamsebenzi kuye. Ngokucacileyo, eyakhe iimfuno zeemvakalelo kubudlelwane zazisoloko zingahoywa, zingahoywa, yaye zide zishiywe ngenjongo. Oku, ngamanye amazwi, yayiyimeko yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuba le yimeko onokucinga ngayo, akukho mathandabuzo amancinane okuba umfazi wakho akamhloneli yaye okona kulungileyo kuye akunaxabiso kuye.

11. Usoloko ekujongela phantsi

Enye yeempawu zokungabi nantlonipho emtshatweni kuxa ezimisele ukukujongela phantsi ngandlela zonke. Nantsi eminye yemizekelo enjalo:

• Umcela ukuba angaxoxi imicimbi yakho yangasese esidlangalaleni, unokuqiniseka ukuba yile ndlela azakuyenza ngayo ngosuku olulandelayo.
• Uxelela abantwana ukuba bagqibe ukutya okanye balungiselele ukulala, kwaye uya kukugqithisela kwaye abavumele benze unothanda.

Ekugqibeleni, kuya kufika kwinqanaba apho ungayi kuba nalizwi kwikhaya lakho. Le yenye yeempawu zomfazi ongenambeko.

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12. Uyakuthoba kumakhasi onxibelelwano

Umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akabonisi sidima esisisiseko kuwe kwimidiya yoluntu. Kule mihla, nini imidiya yoluntu ichaphazela ubudlelwane bethu kakhulu, naluphi na uhlobo lokuthotywa kwiqonga le-intanethi lilingana nokuxhatshazwa okanye ukungahloneli. Ngoko ke, iyakwazi:

• Dlala esidlangalaleni nabanye kuFacebook okanye ku-Instagram
• Thumela i-jibes engathanga ngqo okanye i-rants ngqo malunga nemiba yakho yobuqu, ikwenza ubonakale ngathi ngumenzi wobubi
• Joyina izandla nabahlobo ukuze bakugculele kwi-intanethi

13. Uthelekisa rhoqo

Enye yeempawu eziqaqambileyo ze ukungabi nantlonipho emtshatweni kusenokubakho uthelekiso oluqhubekayo, okukubeka ngaphantsi kwemilinganiselo ethile yentelekelelo yaye kukwenza uzive ungento yanto. Ngoko ke, iya kuba:

• Ukukuthelekisa nabafana bakhe bangaphambili: Oku kunokuba malunga nenkangeleko, imisebenzi, okanye ukusebenza ngokwesondo
• Ukuthelekisa ubudlelwane bakho nobo babahlobo bakhe: Oku kunokubandakanya uthelekiso malunga nobume okanye abantwana, umzekelo, ukuba abantwana babo bafunda kwizikolo ezingcono kunezakho okanye baya kwiiholide ezixabisa kakhulu.

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14. Wenza imali ibe ngumba ophambili kwiingxabano

Amaxesha amaninzi, kubudlelwane, imali inokuba ngumahluli. Imiba yemali, njengelinye iqabane elifumana imali eninzi kunelinye, kunokukhokelela kwiiyantlukwano ezinkulu. Yaye imali isenokuba ngunobangela omkhulu wokungabi nantlonelo. Zilumkele ezi mpawu xa uzibuza ukuba umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi na:

• Uyakugculela ngokurhola kancinci
• Uthenga izinto ezixabisa kakhulu esebenzisa ikhadi lakho letyala kodwa akakuxeleli ngazo de umbuze
• Akavezi iinkcitho ezinkulu zemali, ezinje ngorhumo oluxabisa kakhulu kwindawo yokuzivocavoca okanye ukuthenga izinto eziphezulu.

15. Akayikhathalelanga imida yakho

Olona phawu lubalulekileyo lokuba akakuhloniphi kuxa uziva ngathi akunambeko imida enempilo. Ngoko ke, kwiimeko ezinjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuba:

• Mbizele izihlobo zakhe ngaphandle kokukubuza ukuba ulungile na
• Ngena egumbini lakho kwaye uvule iTV xa ulele okanye usebenza kwilaptop yakho
• Oda ekutyeni akukhethileyo ngaphandle kokubuza into ongathanda ukuba nayo

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Kutheni Umfazi Wam Engandihloniphi?

Ngoku sele uyibonile indlela aziphatha ngayo umfazi ongayihloniphiyo indoda yakhe, lixesha lokuba ucinge ukuba yintoni unobangela wokungahloneli, kuba oko kuya kukuthatha inyathelo elinye elisondeleyo ekuqondeni indlela yokuqhubela phambili. ubudlelwane obuphilileyo. Kuphela xa uqonda apho yonke ingqumbo yakhe ivela khona, uya kukwazi ukugxila ekususeni ingxaki kwingcambu yayo. Ukuba imibuzo okanye iinkxalabo ezifana "Kutheni umfazi wam ekhohlakele kangaka kum?" okanye “Andisiqondi isizathu sokuba ndibe neqabane elingenambeko” ibisoloko ikukhathaza, usenokucinga ngezi zizathu zilandelayo:

1. Ayonwabanga yimeko yakho yezemali

Kwiimeko ezininzi, abafazi abahloneli abayeni ngenxa yengqumbo enxulumene nemibandela yemali. Kwiimeko ezinjalo:

• Usenokuba akonelisekanga sisimo sakho semali
• Usenokufuna ukuba ube namabhongo ngakumbi
• Usenokufuna ukuba unciphise iindleko ezingeyomfuneko
• Usenokufuna ukuba ugxininise kucwangciso lwemali lwexesha elizayo lokuthenga imoto okanye indlu

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2. Ayonwabanga kubomi bakho bokwabelana ngesondo

Isizathu esiqhelekileyo sokuba umfazi angabi nantlonelo kukuba sele ehlolisise umtshato ngenxa yokuphila kakubi ngokwesondo. Ukuba awumenzi onwabe ebhedini ngalendlela ubumphethe ngayo, uya kukhula angabi nantlonipho, kuba esemtshatweni akonelisekanga. ukuba nobudlelwane, kuko konke okwaziyo.

3. Awumhloniphi

Indoda engamhloniphiyo umfazi ngokwemvelo iza kuzala umfazi ongenantlonelo. Ukuba ubuzibuza imibuzo efana nale, "Kutheni umfazi wam endiphethe kakubi?", mhlawumbi, unokufuna ukwazisa kancinci malunga nokuziphatha kwakho. Zama kwaye uphendule imibuzo efana nale:

• Ngaba nangayiphi na indlela ukrwada kwiqabane lakho?
• Wayecinga ukuba ukrwada kuye naxa ungazami ukuba krwada?

Ngamaxesha athile, uyingxaki kubudlelwane bakho. Noko ke, inyathelo lokuqala elikhokelela ekunyangeni kukuvuma ezo zinto zinzima.

4. Unemiba engekasonjululwa

Ukuba ulwa needemon zakhe kwaye impilo yakhe yengqondo ikwi-tatters ngenxa yemicimbi engasonjululwanga kwaye umonzakalo wobudlelwane obudlulileyo, usenokuyikhupha kuwe ngokungabi nantlonelo. Umzekelo, umntu ongakhuselekanga uhlala eveza ukungakhuseleki kwabo kwiqabane lakhe, ebenza bazive bexinekile. Ngoko ke, kunokwenzeka ukuba:

• Wenziwa ukuba azive engakhuselekanga ngabazali bakhe kwasebuntwaneni
• Wathukwa okanye waphathwa gadalala ngulowo wayesakuba liqabane lakhe
• Usenokuba ukhule imiba yempilo yengqondo ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa ngomnye umntu ngaphandle kwabazali bakhe okanye owayesakuba liqabane lakhe

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5. Iintswelo zakhe ezingokweemvakalelo azifikelelwa

Esinye sezizathu ezinokubangela ukuba angakuhloniphi inokuba iimfuno zakhe ngokweemvakalelo azifezeki. Ke, usenokuba uye wabonakala ungumntu obandayo kwaye ungamphenduli xa ebekufuna kakhulu. Kuwona maxesha anzima ebomini, igxalaba lokulilela lelona lifunwa ngumntu. Yaye indoda engamhloniphiyo umfazi ayinakuze ilindele ukubuyiselwa kuthando ngaphandle kokuba ilungise iindlela zayo.

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Uyazibuza ukuba ungenza njani umfazi wakho akuhloniphe? Ngaba ngokwenene sindisa umtshato oqhawukileyo apho umfazi edelela indoda yakhe? Ukuphatha umfazi odelelayo kusenokungabi lula. Ngapha koko, ukukhetha phakathi komtshato wakho nokuzihlonela akusosigqibo esilula. Nangona kunjalo, akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe yimeko-okanye imeko. Mhlawumbi ninokuthabatha inyathelo lokuphilisa njengesibini. Siyathemba ukuba uza kwenza inkqubela ngezi ndlela zisi-7:

1. Musa ukukhubeka

Ukuba uhlala uzixelela ukuba, "Umfazi wam akanambeko kwaye uyandicaphukisa ngonaphakade", siziva wena. Uyabona, nokuba ukuthuka umfazi wakho okanye eziphatha krwada nawe rhoqo, kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba ziimvakalelo zakho kuphela onokuthi uzilawule, hayi ezakhe.

Ke, zama konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ungakhubeki okanye uphindise ngokugqabhuka. Ukusabela kakubi kuya kwenza kuphela ubudlelwane bakho bube bunzima kwaye kudala iingxaki ezingakumbi. Ke, endaweni yoko, ziqhelise ukuzibamba kwaye ugcine isiphatho kwiimvakalelo zakho xa ezakhe zibaleka. Eli linyathelo lokuqala lokujongana nomfazi ongenambeko.

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2. Nxibelelana

Ekuphela kwendlela yokufika emazantsi ale patheni yokuziphatha kukusebenza kunye unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo. Nantsi into onokuyenza:

• Yiya kuye unesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, ngendlela ezolileyo
• Khetha ixesha nendawo efanelekileyo yokuthetha nomfazi wakho ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Qinisekisa ukuba useto aluphazamisi
• Yiba nencoko evulekileyo, ngaphandle komdlalo wokugxeka
• Sebenzisa izakhono zokusombulula impixano. Mbuze ukuba yintoni engalunganga kwaye uboleke isandla sokumnceda ukuba aphucule ukuziphatha kwakhe kakubi kuwe

Fumana ukuba yeyiphi imiba yobudlelwane obungasonjululwanga okanye iimvakalelo zokucaphuka ezibangela ukuba aziphathe ngolu hlobo. Qiniseka ukuba ayinguwe obangela ukuba aziphathe ngolu hlobo.

3. Mnike indawo yobuqu eyimfuneko kunye nexesha

Mnike ixesha elaneleyo, ukuze akwazi ukubonakalisa imbono yakho kwindawo yengqondo engenasiphazamiso. Oku kuya kumbonisa nokuba uzihlonela kangakanani iimfuno neminqweno yakhe. Okanye unokusiva isimo sakhe sengqondo kwaye uphendule ngokufanelekileyo. Indawo kubudlelwane inokukunceda ngenene ujike le ibe yimeko yokuphumelela.

4. Zityand’ igila kumhlobo osenyongweni/kwisizalwane okanye ufune iingcebiso zobungcali

Unokufikelela kwinqanaba elithile kulwalamano lwakho xa ukungahloneli komfazi wakho kunokuqalisa ukuchaphazela impilo yakho yengqondo kunye nempilo yomtshato wakho. Usenokukhalaza, “Umfazi wam akanambeko kwaye andazi ukuba ndingawusindisa njani umtshato wam.

Ewe, kwiimeko ezinjalo, kusenokuba lixesha lokufuna uncedo lwangaphandle. Zityand’ igila kumhlobo/isalamane sakho osithembileyo ukuba siya kukunika icebiso elikhuselekileyo nelisengqiqweni lokuba ufanele uqalise isahluko esitsha ebomini okanye uzame ukulungisa umtshato wakho. Uluvo lomntu omthembayo lunokukunika imbono entsha ngendlela yokujongana neqabane lakho elingenantlonelo.

Iingcebiso zabatshatileyo okanye unyango lwezibini yenye indlela yokugcina umtshato wakho kwaye ulungise iiyantlukwano. Umcebisi wemitshato onamava unokukunceda ngeengcebiso ezithile zobuchwephesha aze akuncede uhlangabezane neemvakalelo eziyinkathazo ezivela kule meko. Ukuba ufuna uncedo, Iinkonzo zeengcebiso zeBonobology kukucofa nje kude.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba iNgcebiso ngomtshato iyasebenza ekusombululeni iMiba yoBudlelwane?

5. Lungiselela ukuqhubela phambili

Ukuba usadidekile malunga nendlela yokujongana nomfazi ongenantlonelo, khumbula, ngelixa uzama ukulungisa iindlela kunye nomfazi ongakuxabisiyo, kufuneka wazi ukuba unokubuyela ekukuhlonipheni okanye ukuba Ubudlelwane bufanele ukulondolozwa. Kodwa ukuba akukho nto isebenzayo, qiniseka ukuba ayinguwe onetyala, kwaye ulungele ukuqhubela phambili kwaye uqale isahluko esitsha. Khumbula, iqabane elingenantlonelo alinakuze likwenze wonwabe.

6. Misela imida ecacileyo

Ukuze ujongane nomfazi ongakuhloniphiyo, kufuneka uqine mayela nemida yakho. Ke, yeka ukuvumela intetho ye-snide okanye isimilo esikrwada sityibilike kwaye uqalise ukuba nenkani kwaye ulawule. UNeha uthi, “Ukuqiniseka kukwangokwala ukuthatha inxaxheba kwizinto ezingenamveliso ingxoxo yobudlelwane, nto leyo ebangela ukuba abantu abaninzi abathukayo bangene kubo.” Nantsi into onokuyenza:

• Bazise ukuba izimvo okanye iziqhulo ezithile azifanelanga ukuba zenziwe xa kusesidlangalaleni
• Qiniseka ukuba uyabaxelela ukuba bangathethi nabanye efowunini okanye bavule iTV xa usebenza egumbini lakho
• Bazise ukuba imiba yomsindo kunye ne-ego kufuneka isonjululwe kwaye ingaqhubi phambili kusuku olulandelayo

UkuFunda okuFanayo: I-15 yeMida Ebalulekileyo kuMtshato Iingcaphephe eziFungisayo

7. Musa ukufaka ngaphakathi ukungahloneli

Khumbula, luxanduva lwakho ukugcina impilo yakho esengqondweni. Xa usoloko ekhathazwa yaye engahlonelwa ngumfazi wakho, kungokwemvelo ukuwela kumgibe wokuzigxeka uze uqalise ukubandezeleka. ukuzijongela phantsi. Ke, musa ukufaka ngaphakathi ukungahloneli okanye ukuzibandakanya kwi-negativity. Nantsi into onokuyenza endaweni yoko:

• Gxininisa ekuphambukiseni ingqondo yakho
• Chitha ixesha ukhulisa umsetyenzana wokuzonwabisa okukhulisa ukuzixabisa kwakho
• Camngca okanye ugcine ijenali ekuncedayo ukudibanisa iingcinga zakho ezilungileyo

Intlonipho nothando zifana namacala amabini engqekembe enye. Ukuba kukho enye yezi zinto zilahlekileyo, ubudlelwane bakho abunakusinda ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ngoko ke, cinga ngale nto ngononophelo kwaye wenze isigqibo ngobulumko. Khumbula, asinguwe onempazamo ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngoko ke, musa ukukufaka ngaphakathi ukuxhatshazwa.

Akukho sisombululo sisodwa sendlela yokujongana nomfazi wakho xa engakuhloniphi. Kweli nqaku, sinikeze iimpendulo ezimbalwa, kodwa ayiloluhlu olupheleleyo kwaye kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba wenze ukhetho. Ke, ukuba umfazi wakho akakuhloniphi, unalo lonke ilungelo lokuphatha ukungahloneli njengento enkulu kwaye uyilungise okanye uphume kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo kwaye uqale isahluko esitsha. Kufuneka wenze oko kukulungeleyo. Kwakhona khumbula ukuba, ukuba abantu ababini emtshatweni bafuna ukulungisa izinto, banokuphuma kuyo nayiphi na imeko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba imbi kangakanani na.

FAQs

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15 Izizathu Zokwenene Umfazi Wakho Akuphephe Ukuthandana

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.