Isehlukaniso akulula kwasekuqaleni futhi ukudivosa i-narcissist kuqeda amandla. Ukubhekana nalolo hlobo lobuntu kuyimpi yodwa. Asikho isehlukaniso siwumbhede wama roses. Kuwumzabalazo ongokomzwelo nangokwengqondo, ikakhulukazi uma kukhona izingane ezihilelekile. Nokho, lapho udivosa nomyeni othanda i-narcissistic, le mishikashika iba miningi. Kuzwakala sengathi uhlaselwe umbhede wameva ongakwazi ukuwuhamba ngaphandle kokulimaza, ngokuphindaphindiwe.
I-narcissist ifana ne-parasite. Badla abalingani babo ukuze bahlangabezane nezidingo zabo. Uma ubatshela ukuthi ufuna ukuqeda ubudlelwano, bazozama wonke amaqhinga okubhuntshisa imizamo yakho. Ukuxoxisana ngesehlukaniso ne-narcissist ngeke kube ukuhamba epaki, cishe usuyakwazi lokho. Kodwa-ke, ukufika lapho ungahlala khona ngempela ngezingxoxo zesehlukaniso kuzoba uhambo olude nolunzima ngokwako.
Ukungazethembi nokwesaba komuntu othanda ukuzitika kubonakala kuveza izinhlangothi ezimbi kakhulu futhi lokho kungaba yinto esabekayo ukuyisingatha. Yingakho udinga amasu aqinile okuhlukanisa nomuntu othanda ukuzitika. Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi ungaqhubeka nenkambo futhi ubone isinqumo sakho sokuqeda ubuhlobo obuqinile sifinyelela esiphethweni saso esinengqondo, sixoxe nodokotela wengqondo olulekayo uNishmin Marshall , owayengumqondisi e-SAATH: Suicide Prevention Centre kanye nomeluleki e-BM Institute of Mental Health kanye nommeli uSiddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), ummeli osebenza eNkantolo Ephakeme yaseNdiya, ngezindlela zokuhlala uphilile engqondweni ngenkathi uhlukanisa nomuntu othanda ukuzitika.
Izimpawu Zomyeni We-Narcissistic
Okuqukethwe
Ukudivosa umyeni onganakile kusho ukuthatha uhambo olude, olunentela olungase lube nzima kuwe. Ukuze uqale inqubo, udinga kuqala ukucaciseleka ukuthi ungubani ngempela i-narcissist. Lokhu kuba semqoka nakakhulu lapho uhlukanisa nomyeni oyimfihlo. Wonke umuntu unesici esithile se-narcissist noma enye ngaphakathi kubo ebangelwa imizwa ethile noma isimo. Kunomehluko phakathi komuntu ojwayelekile onezici zokuthi umuntu onama-narcissistic kanye nomuntu oyi-narcissist emathanjeni akhe.
Ukuzikhukhumeza kwabo okuyimfihlo kungakukhathaza engqondweni. Uma umyeni wakho enalezi zimpawu, baleka usindise impilo yakho, ngoba uzoyiguqula ngokwezifiso zakhe:
- Umhlaba uzungeza izidingo zakhe: Noma okungenani uthanda ukukholelwa kanjalo. Uhlala ezweni elingelakhe. Uzibona ebambe iremote yempilo yawo wonke umuntu eduze kwakhe. Uma ejabule, angase acabangele ukukugcina ujabule, futhi, kodwa uma edabukile noma ethukuthele, uzokukhipha.
- Ukudlala isisulu: Uzohlala edlala isisulu futhi akuphoqe ohambweni lwecala. Akasoze axolisa ngesenzo sakhe kodwa uyokwenza uzizwe sengathi unephutha. Ngeke abe nandaba noma ulimele noma awujabule. Uma nje i-ego yakhe yanelisekile, ngeke abe nendaba nomthelela wezenzo zakhe kuwe
- Umuzwa welungelo: Uzokuphatha wena nabanye abantu njengempahla yakhe. Uyazi ukuthi ezandleni zakho unomsebenzi onzima wokuhlukanisa nomyeni oyimfihlo uma ubelokhu enganaki izidingo zakho, izifiso kanye namabomu. Awukwazi ukuphefumula ngaphandle kokuba ekuvumele. Yena, ngakolunye uhlangothi, angenza noma yini ayithandayo
- Ukuthambekela komona: Njengoba ehlala ezweni elingelakhe futhi ezibheka njengobaluleke kakhulu, uba nomona lapho ebona omunye umuntu entshontsha udumo lwakhe. Yebo, lokho kuhlanganisa nomngane wakhe womshado. Akakwazi ukubekezelela ukubona izinto ozifezile ukwedlula ezakhe, kungaba ukufeza izinhloso ezinkulu zobungcweti noma ukubethela iresiphi kaphayi wethanga likanina. Kungakho ulahlwe ukudlala ifilidi yesibili ebudlelwaneni
Ukuhlukana nomyeni ozithanda ngokweqile kuzohlala kuyinto embi. Uma egcwala kakhulu, kuzoba kubi nakakhulu. Into engcono kakhulu kungaba ukubona izimpawu zomuntu ozithanda ngokweqile lapho uthandana naye bese umshiya khona manjalo. Kodwa uma umuntu ozithanda ngokweqile encenga, angase angazivezi ukuthi ungubani ngempela.
Yingakho ungase uzithole usudonseka ekujuleni kakhulu. Ngesikhathi uqala ukubona izici zakhe zobuntu eziyinkinga, kungenzeka ukuthi usuzakhele ukuphila naye. Kulokhu, okuwukuphela kwendlela etholakalayo kuwe ukuhlukanisa nomyeni wakho we-narcissist ukuze uphinde ulawule impilo yakho futhi uqale inqubo yokuphulukisa.
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Uma usuthathe isinqumo sesibindi sokudivosa umyeni onganakile, kuzoba uvivinyo olukhulu oluhlanganisa izikhathi eziningi ezinhle nezimbi, ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Uzongabaza isinqumo sakho futhi uzizwe sengathi ungumuntu omubi lapha. Ungangeni kulolu gibe. Nguzakwenu okwenze wathatha lesi sinyathelo esinqala. Wenze konke okusemandleni akho ekusebenzelaneni naye kodwa kukhona odinga ukudweba umugqa ndawana thize.
Ukuze uhlukanise nomuntu ozicabangela ngokweqile futhi unqobe, kungase kudingeke ubhekane nochungechunge lwezinkinga zomthetho kanye nengozi yokuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya okubangelwa umlingani wakho. Kubalulekile ukuba namandla ngokwengqondo ukuze ukwazi ukuzisingatha wena nezingane zakho (uma unazo).
Ekhuluma ngezinto okudingeka uzikhumbule ukuze uhlukanise nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza futhi unqobe, uSiddhartha uyeluleka, “Abalingani bomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza bavame ukufuna usizo lomuntu ngamunye ngemizwa yokuba nesizungu, ukukhathazeka, nokucindezeleka okubangelwa iminyaka eminingi yokuhlukunyezwa ngokuzikhukhumeza. Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bazizwa benecala noma bezisola kancane ngokuziphatha kwabo, cishe bazosola abashade nabo ngezinkinga zomshado futhi bamelane nokwelulekwa.
“Uma unquma ukudivosa umnakekeli, lungiselela okubi kakhulu.Lokhu kungaba yingozi enkulu ekuzihlonipheni kowakwakho.Yingakho amasu okudivosa kufanele ahlanganise ukunqamula noma ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana nomuntu okwesikhashana.Uma lokho kungenzeki, kufanele uthathe usizo lomngane wakho noma isihlobo ukuze uxoxisane nomyeni wesithathu bese uhlangana nesehlukaniso ngaso sonke isikhathi. iphathi.”
Usebenzisa lawa maqhinga okuhlukanisa ne-narcissist njengesisekelo, nazi izindlela eziyi-8 zokuhlala uphilile ngenkathi udivosa i-narcissist engakusiza ukuthi udlule kulesi sigaba esinzima ngaphandle kokuzilimaza:
1. Lindela iziqhumane ohlangothini lomyeni wakho
Elinye lamasu abaluleke kakhulu okuhlukanisa no-narcissist ukuzilungiselela lokho okuseza. Umyeni wakho uzothukuthela futhi izinto zizoba nzima kakhulu futhi zibe zimbi kunalokho eseziyikho kakade. Lapho ebona ukuthi izinto azimhambeli kahle, uyokwenza kube umgomo wakhe wokuphila ukukuzwisa ubuhlungu.
Uyazi ukuthi umyeni wakho oyinkabi uyakwazi ukwenzani, ngakho-ke zilungiselele lokho akubekele kona ukuthi uzophikisana naye. “Uma usudabule izindaba zesinqumo sakho sokuhlukanisa nomyeni wakho oyinkabi, qiniseka ukuthi awukuvumeli ukwesaba okungaphakathi kwakho kubonakale, kungenzeka ukuthi ungumuntu ozithobayo ebudlelwaneni, ngakho-ke uzozama ukuhlehla futhi asabise.
Ngakho-ke, ungavumeli intukuthelo yakhe ikudikibalise. Kunalokho, yima uqine futhi umazise ukuthi usunqumile futhi akukho ukubuyela emuva kulesi sinqumo sakho manje,” kusho uNishmin.
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2. Yiba izinyathelo ngaphambi komyeni wakho
Umyeni wakho ngeke ayeke ukugada kalula kanjalo. Ukulawula yinto athanda ukuyiphoqa futhi lapho eqala ukuzwa ukuthi iyamhlula, uzofaka impi. Udinga ukukhuthala futhi ucabange ngaphezu komyeni wakho. Kubalulekile ukuthi ube ne-pragmatic uma ushintsha amasu okuhlukanisa no-narcissist futhi ungasebenzi endaweni yokulimala emoyeni.
Qinisekisa ukuthi ungaqoqa lonke uhlobo lobufakazi obuzopenda umlingani wakho omnyama ngoba uzobe esebenza kanzima ukuze ubukeke njengomuntu omubi lapha. Khumbula, uthanda ukudlala isisulu.
3. Khuluma nabantu abazokuqonda ukuthi usho ukuthini
Umuntu ongakaze abone uhlangothi olubi lomyeni wakho oyisigayigayi akasoze akholwe noma ezwe uhlangothi lwakho lwendaba. Amathuba angahle anqwabelene ngokumelene nawe, ngisho nangaphezulu, lapho uhlukanisa nomyeni oyimfihlo. Udinga ukuqoqa ukwesekwa kubantu abaningi ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze bakusize ulwe.
Khuluma nomuntu oye waba yisisulu sezenzo zomyeni wakho. Kungaba isisebenzi sangaphambili, umngane wakhe noma ilunga lomndeni. Funa ukusekela kwabo. Qiniseka ukuthi laba bantu baseduze kwakho lapho konke kwehla. UNishmin uthi: “Khuluma nabangane bakho, izingane zakini noma uthululele isifuba kumzali wakho ngalokho oye wabhekana nakho.” Obathandayo bangaba umthombo wamandla akho phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima.
4. Ungacabangi kabusha ngesinqumo sakho
Ukwenza isinqumo sokuhlukanisa i-narcissist kuyisinyathelo esikhulu esiya phambili ekubuyiseleni impilo yakho. Kuwuphawu lokuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi udabukile noma udabukile kangakanani, usenesibindi nokuzihlonipha. Ungacabangi ukuhlehla. “Lapho umyeni wakho ebona ukuthi ukusunduza nokubhoka kwakhe akusebenzi, uzoshintsha amaqhinga akhe, akunxuse ukuba umnikeze elinye ithuba futhi athembise ukushintsha.
U-Nishmin uthi: “Angase aze aziveze njengomuntu oshintshile ukuze akwenze ushintshe umqondo futhi azame ukunxusa ohlangothini lwakho oluthambile ukuze akwenze ucabange kabusha ngesinqumo sakho.” Lapho ekwenza lokho, cabanga ngazo zonke lezo zikhathi umyeni wakho ayekuphatha kabi ngazo futhi ehlasela umuzwa wakho wokuzethemba.
Okwenzekile emshadweni wakho akunakushintshwa kodwa ungenza impilo yakho yonke ibe ngcono. Ungangabazi ngesinqumo sakho ngenxa yezingane. Chaza isehlukaniso ezinganeni zakho ngezindlela ezifanele ubudala futhi uqiniseke ukuthi zizoqonda uma sezivuthiwe ngokwanele. Okwesibili, cabanga ngawe nawe.
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5. Gcina amakhophi amaningi abo bonke ubufakazi obuqoqile
Uma umyeni wakho okhulumayo esebonile ukuthi isehlukaniso asinakugwenywa, uzozama ngangokunokwenzeka ukucekela phansi ubufakazi onabo ukuze ungakutholi okufunayo. Qiniseka ukuthi akwenzeki. Leli kungaba yithuba lakho kuphela lokuphuma kulolu gibe. Bufihle kakhulu ubufakazi bakho futhi wabelane nommeli wakho kuphela futhi uqiniseke ukuthi ummeli wakho uyabazi ubunzima becala lakho.
Yenza amakhophi amaningi futhi uhlale ugcina ucezu lobufakazi oluvela kuwo wonke umuntu ongalusebenzisa njenge-masterstroke yakho. Ungaphendukela kumngane omethembayo noma umuntu omethembayo ukuze akusize ngalokhu. Ukuze uhlukanise i-narcissist futhi uwine, udinga ukucabanga ngaphandle kwebhokisi ngobude angahamba ukuze acekele phansi ngisho necala langempela enkantolo yomthetho lingaba ngaphezu komcabango wakho omkhulu.
Yingakho kufanele uncike eqenjini elisondelene kuphela labantu abathembekile ukuze likusekele kuze kuphothulwe isehlukaniso. Ukuze uxoxisane ne-narcissist ngesivumelwano sesehlukaniso ngempumelelo futhi uqinisekise ukuthi awunikezwa isiphetho esifushane senduku, udinga ukumboza zonke izisekelo zakho. U-Siddhartha unikeza amasu angasebenziseka okuhlukanisa ne-narcissist ukuze akusize ngaphambili.
“Bhala konke ukuhlangana nomngane wakho womshado. Uma kungenzeka, xhumana nowakwakho ngokubhala. Uma kungenjalo, gcina okurekhodiwe kuzo zonke izingxoxo zocingo nokuhlangana kwakho, kuhlanganise nosuku, isikhathi, isihloko, nokuthi ubani owayekhona engxoxweni. Umuntu okhuluma ngamacala akathandi ukulahlekelwa, ngakho-ke kufanele uqaphele kakhulu izinga lakhe elikabili.
“Ngiyazi ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ekusingatheni amacala anjalo ukuthi mancane amathuba okuba nenqubo yesehlukaniso engathandeki, ethatha isikhathi eside. Nokho, akudingekile ukuba uziphathe wedwa. Ukuba nethimba labameli eliqinile eceleni kwakho kungenza umehluko omkhulu kokubili ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwenkantolo,” usho kanje.
6. Zigcine upholile lapho udivosa umyeni onama-narcissist
Wonke umuntu ushukunyiswa okuthile noma okunye. Umyeni wakho uyazi izinto ezahlukene ezikubangelayo. Uzozama ukuhlasela lawo maphuzu ukuze akuveze ukuze wenze iphutha angalisebenzisa ukuze azuze. Lokhu angakwenza ukuze akhombise ukuthi uyahlanya futhi awufaneleki ukunakekela izingane noma ubekwenza ukuze akubeke kabi. Noma iyiphi indlela, qiniseka ukuthi awucasulwa yinoma yini ayenzayo.
“Lapho ezama ukukushoshozela, kubalulekile ukuba ulawule ukusabela kwakho ngokuxhamazela noma okungokwemvelo.” Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo siqala kanjani, ungakhohlwa iqiniso lokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ukwenza nje ukuze avuse ukusabela kuwe abengakusebenzisa ukuze kuzuze yena futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uqopha isigameko.
“Amakhono afanele okubhekana nawo anjengokubala, ukucula, ukuphefumula okujulile angakusiza ukuba unqobe le midlalo yengqondo.Zikhumbuze ukuthi ungasho okuningi, ikakhulukazi uma kuhileleke izindaba ezingokomthetho,” kusho uNishmin. Ungazama nokuzindla ukuze uqine ngokwengqondo ukuze ulwe naye ngaphandle kokuthatha akushoyo noma akwenzayo.
7. Yenza uhlelo futhi ungayekethisi
Uma umyeni wakho ozithanda ngokweqile eseqala ukuzwa ukuthi uyahlulwa empini, uzozama ukwenza sengathi useshintshile. Angase asebenzise ngisho nemisho ekwenza uzizwe sengathi ushintshile ukuze akulawule futhi akugcine uphilile. Qiniseka ukuthi awuweli kulolo gibe.
Angase azame ukuhlasela amaphuzu akho abuthakathaka noma izici zakho ezingokomzwelo, qaphela lokho. Uzozama ukwenza izithembiso futhi akucele ukuba uhlehlise. Kungaba ngendlela yesondlo noma ukugcinwa kwengane. Qiniseka ukuthi ubeka unyawo lwakho phansi bese uthi “Cha”.
Ukuze uhlale uphilile ngesikhathi udivosa umuntu osebenzisa izidakamizwa, uSiddhartha uyeluleka, “Akulona iphutha lakho oshade naye ungumgadli, leyo yinkinga yabo, futhi uma enqaba ukufuna usizo ngendaba yakhe, udinga ukwazi ukuthi uliphonsa nini ithawula futhi ufune isehlukaniso.
"Ukuze udlule empini yezomthetho yokuhlukanisa kanye nokuqhubekela phambili ngemuva kokuhlukanisa nomthengisi, hlala uzikhumbuza ukuthi ama-narcisists anobuthi kubantu nezimo. Bahloniphekile kuphela kubantu abasekela i-ajenda yabo. Umdwebi wenza njengejaji, ijaji, kanye nombulali uma unesibindi sokudelela.
"Ama-Narcissists ayathandeka futhi anekhono lokukhohlisa futhi azizwa enesidingo sokuwina ngazo zonke izindlela, futhi ukungalahlekelwa umbono waleli qiniso kuzokusindisa ekubeni yisisulu semidlalo yabo yengqondo. Esikhundleni salokho ungaqondisa amandla akho ekuguquleni isu eliqinile lokuhlukanisa i-narcissist bese uwina."
8. Cela usizo kumelaphi
Ukushada nomyeni onama-narcissistic kungakushiya uphukile ngaphakathi futhi uzizwe sengathi awusalungiseki. Esimeni esinjalo, ukubona umelaphi kungakusiza upholise amanxeba akho futhi kukwenze uzizwe uzithanda futhi ukwazisa futhi. Umelaphi uzokusiza ukuthi udlule kuleso sigaba kalula futhi ngeke uzizwe ukuthi ukuwedwa. Ngokwelashwa, ungaqala futhi ukubona ukuthi umshado ongaphumelelanga bekungelona iphutha lakho.
“Kungase kungabi lula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthola usizo uma uzizwa uphukile kakhulu futhi umuzwa wakho wokuzicabangela uphukile ngokuphelele. Kodwa uma ungathola isibindi sokufuna usizo, kungakusiza ukuthi uqhubeke nokuphila ngemva kokuhlukanisa nomuntu ozicabangela ngokweqile. Umeluleki ofanele angakunikeza umuzwa wokusekelwa okuphelele, futhi akwenze uzizwe uzwakala futhi uqondwa. Ukuthola usizo olufanele kungaba yisinyathelo sokuqala sokuphulukiswa nokuzizwa uphelele futhi,” kusho uNishmin.
Akuwona wonke umuntu okwazi ukuhlonza i-narcissist ngaphambi noma phakathi nezigaba zokuqala zomshado. I-narcissist yembula imibala yakhe yangempela uma isiqinisekile ukuthi ingakwazi ukukulawula ngokugcwele. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni benarcissistic kufana nokuba yiguinea pig noma igundane laselabhu. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungaqhubeka usemshadweni onjalo, cabanga ukuthi ukufanele yini. Uma ubambelele emcabangweni wothando ukuba sebudlelwaneni bakho, kuzomele uphinde uhlole ukuthi uthando luyini ngempela. Abantu abanjalo bayazithanda bona kuphela. Cabanga kabili ngaphambi kokuba ucabange ukuqhubeka nokuba semshadweni ongenakho ukukunikeza.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Umyeni oyi-narcissist akasoze amukela umbono wesahlukaniso. Uzozama yonke into kusukela ekuthukutheleni kuya ekuncengeni ngokomzwelo kanye nokukhohlisa ukuze akwenze ushintshe umqondo wakho futhi ume phansi.
Udinga ukuma uqine futhi ungethuswe amaqhinga akhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi intukuthelo noma ukucela ukuba ushintshe umqondo wakho. Kubalulekile ukuthi uthumele umlayezo wokuthi usunqumile futhi ukuzimisela kwakho akunakunyakaziswa.
Okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, udinga ukuya esehlukaniso ngokuzenzakalelayo hhayi endaweni engokomzwelo. Okwesibili, zilungiselele ukuhlaselwa kuyo yonke indawo evela kumyeni wakho onama-narcissistic, futhi uguqule amasu aphusile okuhlukanisa ne-narcissist ukuze umelane namaqhinga akhe kuzo zonke izinyathelo zendlela.
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Lesi siphakamiso siyaphikiswana ngaso. Abesifazane abasekela kwesokunxele bazimisele ngokubhidliza umshado.
Kuyangimangaza ukusikisela kobugovu okunonya, “… ungacabangi ngabantwana bakho…. zicabangele wena.. “.
Nakuba sivuma ukuthi cishe bonke banezici ze-narcissist kuzo, kungase futhi kuphikisane ngokuthi imingcele yokubekezelelana kokuziphatha kwama-narcissist kumele ichazwe ngokucacile. Okubekezeleleka komunye, kungabekezeleleka komunye. Ngakho udwetshwe kuphi umugqa?
Futhi ukusikisela kokuthi umshado ungenza abalingani besabe, ngakho-ke ukuba yimfihlo kuyinketho enhle, kukodwa kuwukusikisela kokuziphatha okubi.
Izihloko ezinjalo ngokusobala zichemile emshadweni futhi zikhuthaza ubugovu, zitshala imbewu yokungathembani phakathi kwabangane bomshado.
Uma uke wabhekana nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic mathupha, lezi ziphakamiso ziyigolide. Ngashada nendoda imask yayo yashelela ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ngemva komshado. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi, uye wabonisa ukucabanga okuphazamisayo okukhathazayo, ukutshala udoti otside ukuze azame ukukhipha omakhelwane, ebambe into ekhanyayo entweni evuthayo ngaphakathi lapho ethukuthele (sihlala esakhiweni esinamayunithi angu-12), esabisa ngokucekela phansi noma yini kanye nakho konke engikukhathalelayo (imoto entsha, izinto zomzwelo, ukusho izinto ezinjengokuthi "Angikwazi ukulinda kuze kube yilapho abazali bakho befa, ngakho-ke uhambisa izinhlungu esikoleni, ngakho-ke uzwa ubuhlungu bakho esikoleni. bengingakuthandi”, nokunye okunjalo. Awukwazi ukuxhumana naye ngendlela ephusile, njengoba eqhubeka ethukuthele egane unwabu ngaphezu kwayo yonke into (angimtholi u-Sharpie? Rawr!). Ngeke ababone abeluleki, njengoba ethi uphakeme, futhi angabaluleka. Akazange asiqede isikole samabanga aphakeme, njengoba eyeka ukuya ephathini futhi elandela iqembu elizungeze ukuphuza nokukhipha izidakamizwa, NGEKE ahlele intsha yakhe enkulu. ngekusasa elingaphandle kwezidingo zakhe zamanje, futhi uthembele kimi kukho konke iya kumakhonsathi, imisebenzi yokuzilibazisa, kodwa 'uyagula kakhulu, ngibuhlungu ukuthi ngingaya esitolo segrosa”, noma ushayele uDkt ngokwakhe.
Abazali bami basanda kugubha iminyaka yabo engu-50. Imodeli yami yokuzibophezela okusekelwe emndenini iqinile. Nganikela ngo-250% iminyaka emi-5 kulo mshado, kodwa ngathukwa, ngahlukunyezwa, futhi ngangehliswa isithunzi, ngamaqhinga okuhlukumeza esikoleni, ukubizwa ngamagama, ukunganaki okungapheli. Ngenxa yokuthi ngiyawuthanda futhi ngiyawuhlonipha umshado, futhi ngiwuthatha ngokungathi sína, ngifuna lokhu kulungiswe, noma kuqedwe, ukuze ngingaqhubeki nokungcolisa isikhungo. Angazi nje ukuthi ngingayilungisa kanjani. Sengizame konke. Umama wakhe akafuni ukukhuluma naye…Ngikufisela inhlanhla kunoma ubani osesimweni esifanayo. Ungabanaki abantu abangakutholi. Abantu abakhathalelayo bazama ukwenza labo abangenandaba, bakhathale, kodwa inkathazo iwukuthi, abantu abangenandaba, abangenandaba nje...