Izindlela Eziyi-12 Zokuba Ngumyeni Ongcono | Amacebiso Okuthuthukisa Umshado Wakho

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Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuntula kwakho ukubuyisana kwenziwe kwaba sobala kabuhlungu noma uzama ukubeka ukumamatheka ebusweni bomlingani wakho, ukuqonda indlela yokuba umyeni ongcono nakanjani kuyothuthukisa izinga lomshado wakho.

Ngisho noma umshado wenu usenkingeni, mhlawumbe isinyathelo sokuqala ongasithatha ukuze niphinde nizwane ukuzenzela indoda owashade naye ayithanda. Ngokuzishintsha ngokuqinisekile njengomyeni, ungase uqale umnyakazo okhiqizayo we-ripple.

Nakuba kungase kungabonakali njengoba izinto ziba nzima, ukuba umyeni ongcono akuyona into enzima kakhulu emhlabeni. Ngezenzo ezimbalwa zomusa, ukuvuma ngekhanda okumbalwa ukukhombisa ukuthi ulalele, futhi ngokukhumbula izinsuku ezikhethekile, usuvele uluqalile uhambo lwakho. Ake sibheke ukuthi ungaba kanjani umyeni ongcono, funa uthole ithikithi lokuya kosofa.

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Okuqukethwe

“Umshado wethu usebenza njengomshini ogcwele amafutha amaningi.” Kuhle ukuqhutshwa yisimiso, futhi izinto zingase zibonakale sengathi zihamba kahle.

“Ukuba ngumyeni oqotho kwazenzekela kuye ekuqaleni, kodwa njengoba iminyaka eyishumi idlula futhi ukunganeliseki emshadweni wethu ngingene, kubonakala sengathi akakaze angibuze nokuthi nginjani onyakeni odlule!” UNancy wasitshela.

Ngezinye izikhathi, lapho izinto zibonakala zizihambela nje, isidingo sokuba umyeni ongcono singase siphele. Kuphela uma uqaphela ukuthi i-monotony yomshado wakho iyadla, uzozama ngamandla ukumtholela isixha esingamenzeli lutho.

Nakuba ubungase ube phezu kwawo wonke amathiphu omshado wabayeni ezifungweni zakho, ukuzigcina kungase kube nzima ngezinye izikhathi. Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama ukulungisa umshado ophukile noma uqinisekisa ukuthi ugcina owakwakho ejabule, lezi zindlela ezilandelayo zokuba ngumyeni ongcono zingaba usizo:

1. Qonda ukuthi ufunani

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene endleleni yokuba ngumyeni ongcono, kubalulekile ukuqonda kahle ukuthi yini ayifunayo. Uma umngane wakho uDaniel ethi vele umtholele isixha sezimbali ezimhlophe futhi uqede ngaso, kuzokuqhuma ebusweni bakho lapho ekutshela ukuthi akanandaba nama roses amhlophe.

Esikhundleni sokwenza ukuqagela noma ukuzama ukuthola izimpendulo zakho kwabanye abantu, qiniseka ukuthi umbuza ukuthi ufunani. Ukuthi, “Heyi, ngingakujabulisa kanjani namuhla?”, kuzomenza akholelwe ukuthi wenza umzamo.

Ingabe ungumuntu wezemidlalo? Yiba ngumyeni ongcono ngokumhlanganyela ohambweni lwakhe owaluyeka eminyakeni emithathu edlule. Ingabe ungumthandi wewayini? Mtholele lelo bhodlela lewayini elikhethekile elidala kunawe. Esikhundleni sokumangaza i-teetotaler ngohambo oluya e-Las Vegas, qiniseka ukuthi uyamangaza i-yoga junkie nge-yoga yezinsuku ezi-2 e-Bahamas.

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2. Khuluma ngothando lwakho ngendlela abenza ngayo

Ohambweni lwakho lokuthola ukuthi ungaba kanjani umyeni ongcono, kufanele ufunde ulimi olusha. Ningazikhiphi izichazamazwi okwamanje; okumele ukufunde wulimi lothando lozakwenu.

Ukuthola oshade naye izipho ezibiza kakhulu ngeke kufeze okuningi uma kungukuthi ulimi lothando yisikhathi sekhwalithi. Uma bewazisa amazwi okuqinisekisa phezu kwalezo ziqongo ze-Gucci, uzobe ukhonkotha isihlahla esingalungile ngokushisa imbobo ephaketheni lakho.

Enye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuba ngumyeni ongcono ukuqonda ukuthi umlingani wakho ukhuluma kanjani ngothando lwakhe. Iluphi olunye lwezilimi ezinhlanu zothando olubakhanga kakhulu? Uma usukwazi lokho, uyazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze.

3. Zisebenzele wena

Uma uke wazithola uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungaba kanjani umyeni ongcono ngoba izinkinga zakho ziwukhinyabeza umshado wakho, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuzisebenzela wena. Kungenzeka ukuthi waziswa ukuthi ulwa kanjani nozwela, noma izinkinga zakho zentukuthelo zingase zidale umonakalo.

Ezimweni lapho zonke izinkinga zisuka kuwena, ukuba ngumyeni ongcono ngokuyisisekelo kuba umuntu ongcono. Uma umshado wakho uthintwa kabi yizinkinga onazo, i-Bonobology's iphaneli yabelaphi abanolwazi ingakusiza uqonde ukuthi yini engahambanga kahle, futhi ipende indlela eya ekululameni.

4. Nikezanani isikhala

“Siyaxoxa, sinomusa, sinikezana konke esikudingayo, konke kufanele ukuthi kuhambe kahle, kodwa ngisafuna ukuzikhipha izinwele zami ngoba uhlezi ekhona.Yize ngimthanda kodwa sekuze kwaqalwa ukuthi uhlezi enamathela. ukucasuka emshadweni wethu.

“Ukugcwalisela imisho yomunye nomunye akusemnandi nakancane. Ngiyazi ukuthi ucabangani, uyakwazi engikucabangayo. Sobabili sisebenzela ekhaya, futhi kuzwakala sengathi anginakho ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe. Ngangingakaze ngicabange ukuthi le ndoda emangalisayo ingangenza ngizizwe ngicindezelwa ukuba phakathi nje,” usitshela uJessica.

Nakuba konke kungase kuhambe kahle, ukucasuka kusengahlala emoyeni - ngenxa yokuthi nina nobabili nihlale nisemakhanda omunye. Chithani isikhathi nihlukene, vumela umlingani wakho abe nendawo yakhe siqu. Uma nithola isikhathi sokukhumbulana, nizoqonda nokuthi yini ebenithandane nayo kwasekuqaleni.

5. Sebenza ekuboniseni uthando

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Ukupeck ezindebeni kuhle, kodwa ugcine nini ukwanga owakwakho isikhathi esingaphezu kwemizuzwana emi-5? Ugcine nini ukubagona ngokumangala futhi ubambelele isikhathi eside kunokuvamile imizuzwana engu-1.8?

Lapho uthola ukuthi ungaba kanjani umyeni ongcono, kuwubugebengu ukungacabangi ngothando lomzimba. Amp phezulu ukubonisa uthando esidlangalaleni, naka kakhulu ukuba muhle kancane futhi uqiniseke ukuthi awuzicabangeli embhedeni.

6. Thatha eminye yemisebenzi yabo yasekhaya isikhashana

Uma ufuna amathiphu omshado okulungisa ngokushesha wabayeni, ukwenza imisebenzi yomlingani wakho yosuku kungaba isenzo somusa abazosazisa nakanjani. Ubani ongeke akuthande uma unikezwa usuku lokuphumula ugeza izitsha?

Khumbula ukuthi ukuba umyeni ongcono kuhilela okungaphezu nje kokwenzela umlingani wakho izinto ezimbalwa endlini. Kwazi bani, kungenzeka ukuthi sebevele bakucasukele kangangokuthi ukucosha i-mop kungase kube kuncane kakhulu, sekwephuze kakhulu. Kulezo zimo, kungcono ukulandela inombolo yokuqala.

7. Ungasheshi ufinyelele eziphethweni

UJason uyasitshela: “Lapho ekhuluma ‘ngenhlansi’ elahlekile emshadweni wethu, ngacabanga ukuthi konke ayekhuluma ngakho kwakuyigumbi lokulala.

Uma ucabanga ukuthi uyazi ukuthi umlingani wakho ukhuluma ngani, konke okwenzayo ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi kuzoba nokungaxhumani kahle. Esikhundleni sokucabanga ukuthi bathukuthele, buza. Esikhundleni sokucabanga ukuthi bacasulwe yini, qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa.

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8. Yiba yisilaleli esihle

Emzamweni wakho wokuthola ukuthi ungaba kanjani umyeni ongcono, ungase uvele uzimisele ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga umlingani wakho anazo. Esikhundleni sokuhlala uzama ukuba yiqhawe labo, qonda ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi abakudingayo nje wumuntu ozolalela obekwenzeka. Ukulalela kungathuthukisa ubudlelwano bakho ngaphezu kwalokho okwaziyo.

Esikhundleni sokuthi, “Bekungafanele ukwenze lokho. Masenze lokhu ukuze sikulungise,” zama nje ukuthi, “Ngiyaxolisa ngokwenzeke kuwe, lokho kufanele kube kubi.” Ukuba umyeni ongcono kungaba lula kanjalo.

9. Bonisa isinyathelo sokuqala

Njengasemsebenzini wakho, ukuthatha isinyathelo kuqala kuyaziswa nasemshadweni wakho. “Engakwenza nje ukumbuza ukuthi ngingamthanda kanjani ngendlela afuna ngimthande ngayo, wavele wamamatheka.

“Ngambuza ukuthi angathanda ngenzeni ukuze ngibone ukuthi ngingaba kanjani umyeni ongcono.” Wangicela ukuba ngikwamukele lokho ayekusho, kodwa angicabangi ukuthi ukwamukela kwami kuzomjabulisa njengoba kwenza lo mbuzo!” UMika uyasitshela.

Ukuba ngumyeni omuhle kumayelana nokugxumela phakathi ngezinyawo zombili. Uma uzimisele ukubeka isikhathi, umzamo namandla emshadweni wakho, isinyathelo sizokunika izinzuzo.

10. Xolela futhi udedele

Lapho ushadile, kufanele ube nekhono lokuyeka izinto zihambe. Lapho uvumela intukuthelo ehlala isikhathi eside ibambe imizwa yakho, kuzoba nzima nakakhulu ukukuthola ukuba umyeni ongcono. Esikhundleni sokuqhubeka uveza izinto ezikukhathazayo, zama ukuba nengxoxo eyodwa ekhiqizayo ngayo bese uyiyeka.

Thethelela isithandwa sakho ngokushesha kunokuba ujwayele ukwenza, ungavumeli amagqubu aphazamise umshado ophumelelayo. Siyazi ukuthi lokho kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza, kodwa yinto okufanele uyinake. Uma kudingeka, zama ukuthola usizo lomeluleki wemishado ukuze ulungise izinkinga zomshado wakho.

11. Sebenzela ukuzwelana nokubuyisana

Lapho uqonda ukuthi ungaba kanjani ngaphezulu onozwela ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungaqonda ngempela ukuthi umlingani wakho uvelaphi. Uzokwazi ukuthi kungani benza izinto abazenzayo, futhi lapho kukhona impendulo yokuthi ungaba kanjani umyeni ongcono.

Uma ubuyisela umzamo namandla umlingani wakho afaka kuwo, umtshela ukuthi uyakwazisa konke akwenzela umshado wakho futhi uzimisele ukukubuyisela. Ngokubuka nje umhlaba ngombono womlingani wakho, uzokwazi ukukhulisa amandla omshado wakho.

12. Hlela imisebenzi ongenaso isikhathi sayo

Bebunini ubusuku bakho bokugcina? Nagcina nini ukuba nomzimba? Ingabe benikuhlehlisa ukuthengelana isikhathi eside kakhulu? Qhubeka uhlele leyo misebenzi. Mhlawumbe, ungamangaza umlingani wakho ngosuku olujabulisayo; yenza umzamo othile ekuhleleni yonke into kuze kube semininingwaneni yokugcina nokwenza wonke amalungiselelo.

Ukuba ngumyeni ongcono kumayelana nokubeka isikhathi ebudlelwaneni benu. Hlela lobo busuku bezinsuku ezijabulisayo, thatha isinyathelo kuqala, futhi uzobona umlingani wakho ekwazisa ngakho.

Indlela yokuba ngumyeni ongcono ingenye yalezo zinto ezingelula njengokuthengela umlingani wakho isipho, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, kungase kube njalo. Ekupheleni kosuku, vele uqiniseke ukuthi ufaka isikhathi esakhayo, nokuthi umzamo uyabonakala. Ngokuphazima kweso, uzozwa injabulo yomshado ovumelanayo. Kungenzeka, siyethembisa.

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Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Umfazi udingani kumyeni wakhe?

Uma kukhona into edingwa inkosikazi kumyeni wayo, kufanele ithembeke futhi imsekele. Ukuzwelana, ukwethembana, ukwesekwa, uzwelo, uthando nenhlonipho yizinto ezibalulekile kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano.

2. Yini eyenza owesifazane ajabule emshadweni?

Ukuba nobudlelwano obunempilo obumenza azizwe eqinisekisiwe, ethandwa, ehlonishwa futhi ekhonzwa yikho okwenza owesifazane nowesilisa bajabule emshadweni.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.