Ubuhlungu benhliziyo mhlawumbe busondelene kakhulu kunakho konke okuhlangenwe nakho komuntu. Kukhona ukuzwakala okuhlukile, ukushuba, nokujula nakho konke ukudabuka kwenhliziyo. Kwesinye isikhathi ukuthula okuvala izindlebe kuyethusa kakhulu, wonke umhlaba wakho ubonakala wonakele ngokuphelele. Esimweni esinjalo, kulula ukuvumela ukudabuka kukudle. Kungakho ukuthola indlela yokubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo ngaphandle kokudela ubuntu bakho kubalulekile.
Siyibona njalo kumamuvi; umlingiswa oyinhloko udlula ebuhlotsheni obuhlulekile futhi uzifaka emikhubeni abekade eyigwema ngaphambilini. Ukulutheka otshwaleni, isimo sengqondo sokuba isisulu, ukungafuni ukushintsha, konke kungagcina kukudlile.
Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awuvumeli usizi lulawule impilo yakho, ukufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nobuhlungu benhliziyo futhi ukusebenzise njengesisekelo sokukhuphuka komphefumulo wakho kubaluleke kakhulu. Ake sikhulume ngalokho okumele ukwenze, nokuthi ngibuzule kanjani ubudlelwano obungaphumeleli impilo eyangiphonsela yona.
Indlela Engangibhekana Ngayo Nenhliziyo Ebuhlungu
Okuqukethwe
Ngaba nosizi lwami lokuqala ngineminyaka engu-21 futhi umhlaba wami wahlukana njengephakethe lamakhadi. Ngaqhubeka nempilo yami ngicwile kubo bonke ubuhlungu futhi ngezwa uhlobo oluthile lwegugu njengoba ngangibambelele osizini njengengcebo sengathi ngolwami nolwami ngedwa. Ukuthi kwakuyisipho esikhethekile esivela phezulu sokuthandana.
Ngabuveza futhi ngalukhazimulisa kimina nomndeni wami nabangane njengokungathi ngiphiwe okuthile ababenqatshelwe khona. Izinyembezi ezithulile, ngilalele izingoma ezigcwele uthando, ngigingqika ngokuzidabukela...ngangikwindlela 'yokugubha ubuhlungu' eyathatha izinyanga eziningi futhi yangifikisa onqenqemeni lokucindezeleka.
Kodwa usizi lwami lwangempela lwafika ngineminyaka engu-37. Futhi ngangazi ukuthi lona kwakungeyona inkohliso. Ngezwa sengathi umphefumulo wami ukhishwa kimi futhi ubuhlungu obukhulu bomzimba bagwinya umzimba wami futhi bahayiza ngendlela engangingakaze ngikhale ngayo ngaphambili. Ngakhala ngaze ngangabe ngisakhala. Amehlo ami ayevuvukele, inhliziyo yami ingenalutho, nengqondo yami yayindikindiki.
Kube nokunye okudabukisayo okumbalwa, ngakunye kunethoni ehlukile kanye ne-tenor - i-weft ne-weave ehlukile 'eyavula' ingxenye entsha yami ngendlela enika amandla kakhudlwana isikhathi ngasinye lapho kwenzeka. Nazi izinkomba ezimbalwa engizifundile kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami nobuhlungu benhliziyo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela aphulukiswa ngayo ebuhlungwini bokuphuka kwenhliziyo
Amathiphu Okusinda Ubuhlungu Benhliziyo Futhi Uphulukise Inhliziyo Ephukile
Ukubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo, ikakhulukazi uwedwa, kubonakala kuyinselele ongakwazi nokuzihlupha ngokucabanga ngayo. Esikhundleni sokuzama ukuba ngcono, ungase ugcine usuzinikele futhi uzinikele kunoma yini ukudabuka okuyala ukuba ukwenze. Ukugxila kwakho kuyasuka ekuzameni ukuba ngcono, kuya ekuzameni ukusinda usuku nosuku.
Kodwa-ke, uyazi ukuthi awukwazi ukuchitha izinsuku zakho ezisele ubhekene nosizi. Ungashayela wedwa ulalele izingoma ezidabukisayo ngendlela oyifunayo. Ekugcineni, uzofuna ukulalela izingoma ezimnandi, uxoxe nabantu, futhi ufunde ukuthanda futhi. Ukuze sikusize ufike lapho ngokushesha nangokuthola ukuthi ungadlula kanjani enhliziyweni ephukile , ngiqoqe amathiphu alandelayo okufanele akuholele endleleni yakho:
1. Vuma ukuthi ulimele futhi ulimele
Madoda ngibheke nina. Ezinsukwini ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukana, amadoda avame ukubukela phansi konke okuguquguqukayo ababelana ngakho nabalingani babo, becabanga ukuthi akuzange kubenze bahlukane. Kungakhathalekile ukuthi ubulili buni, vuma ukuthi ulahlekelwe ingxenye ebalulekile yempilo yakho futhi uvumele ukuthi uzwe lonke usizi ongaluthola.
Khala kakhulu, memeza kakhulu, yenza noma yini oyidingayo, ungabunaki ubuhlungu. Uzobe ubambezela imiphumela kuphela. Isinyathelo sokuqala sokubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo ukuvuma ukuthi kushiye uphawu olungenakucimeka kuwe.
2. Thola ukwesekwa, wabelane ngosizi lwakho
Phakathi kosizi, ungase ugcine wenqaba usizo oluvela kwabathandekayo bakho. Zama ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uyazamukela njalo izingcingo zabo, ukhulume nabantu abakukhathalelayo, ungabanqamuli. Ukwelashwa ekudabukeni kwenhliziyo kukodwa kuzokwandisa uhambo, thatha lonke usizo ongaluthola.
Bhala incwadi oya kulowo okuphathe kabi, umthululele ngokuqondile indlela ozizwa ngayo, bese uyishisa. Lona umkhuba we-psychic onamandla kakhulu wokunqamula ubuhlungu futhi unikeza ukukhululeka okukhulu.
3. Chitha isikhathi uwedwa
Chitha isikhathi uwedwa. Hamba ukuhoxa, uma kungenzeka izinsuku ezimbalwa. Ukuba wedwa kuqinisa umphefumulo. Hamba nomngane uma wesaba ukuba wedwa kodwa uchitha isikhathi esiningi nawe. Ungabukisi ngobuhlungu bakho, thula. Izwa ubuhlungu; uma uyiveza kakhulu, uzoyizwa kancane. Kumele uzwe ubuhlungu, ukuze buphole.
4. Ungajahi ukungena kobunye ubudlelwano
Ukugijimela ebuhlotsheni obubuyela emuva ngekhanda akukuhle futhi kuzoba nje ilungiselelo lokungazizwa ubuhlungu bakho. Kuzogcina sekungenye inkohliso ozoziphazamisa ngayo. Ukunqoba inhliziyo ephukile akusho ukuthi kufanele uthole induduzo ngokushesha ezandleni zomunye umuntu. Indlela osabela ngayo kule nkinga izokwenza uzazi kangcono, okuzoqinisekisa ukuthi ukhetha umlingani ofanele ngesikhathi esizayo.
5. Ungazakhi izindlela zokubhekana nezimo ezingenampilo
Ungafaki ubuhlungu esikhundleni sotshwala, ucansi, ukubhema, noma ukuzitika ngokudla noma izidakamizwa. Ukuthola izimpendulo zakho ekugcineni kwebhodlela kungase kubonakale kuyindlela “ye-Hollywood” yokubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo yakho, kodwa kuzophumela ekubeni ne-hangover engenangqondo kanye nenqwaba yokuzisola ngosuku olulandelayo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungadlula Kanjani Ngokushesha Ekuhlukaneni Komshado? - Amathiphu angu-8 Okubuyela Emuva Ngokushesha
6. Ungavumeli amahlaya anyamalale
Kuyavunywa, izinto zingase zingakujabuleli okwamanje. Kodwa ukuziphoqa ukuthi uzwe umzwelo othile ngoba yilokho okumele ukwenze kulimaza ngokwemvelo. Buka isipesheli samahlaya, phuma nabangani, wabelane ngokuhleka, sihogo, hlekisa nge-ex yakho. Ubani owathi awuvunyelwe ukuhleka lapho uthola indlela yokuphulukisa inhliziyo ephukile?
7. Shaya ejimini
Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi ukuzivocavoca okuhambisana nokwelashwa kunganciphisa izimpawu zokucindezeleka phakathi kwabantu. Uma usujwayele ukupompa insimbi ejimini, uzoqala ekuqalekiseni phakathi kwesethi ngayinye uye ekuzizweni uhlobo lokuqinisekiswa nenjabulo okunzima ukuyithola kwenye indawo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzobe usuqala ukuba sesimweni esihle ukuze ukwazi ukuheha umlingani ongcono kakhulu kuwe.
8. Zijwayeze ukuqaphela nokuzindla
"Kunjani ukuvala amehlo ami nokwenza sengathi angicabangi lutho oluzoxazulula noma yini?" Sithembe, ukuzindla, ngisho nangemithamo emincane kungakwenzela lukhulu. Ngokuqaphela, ungazithola umatasa kakhulu emisebenzini yakho kunokuvamile. Ukululama ebuhlungwini benhliziyo kungakwethula emikhubeni enempilo njengokuzindla, ungesabi ukuyiyeka.
9. Zihlole
Manje njengoba usunesikhathi esiningi, thola isizathu sokuthi kungani udlule ebudlelwaneni obungaphumelelanga. Ingabe uveza ukungazethembi kwakho ebudlelwaneni? Isibonelo, ingabe ukungazethembi kwakho kukwenza ube nomona ? Noma ingabe isidingo sakho sokuthandwa sikwenza ukhulume kakhulu ngezinkinga zakho? Hlaziya ukuthi kungani uthathe izinqumo ozenzile, nokuthi yini okudingeka usebenzele kuyo.
“Zinike imvume yokuzizwa, kodwa ungakuvumeli ukuthi kuchaze uhambo lwakho.”
10. Zama ukubuyela lapho
Cha, lokhu akusho ukuthi udinga ukulanda uhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana ngosuku olulandelayo ngemva kokuhlukana kwenu. Zinike isikhathi, thola ukuthi ungasinda kanjani ekushayweni kwenhliziyo, bese uzama ukubuyela lapho.
11. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
Lapho uthola ukuthi ungakuqeda kanjani usizi ngokwakho kuba namandla kakhulu, awekho amahloni ngokuthintana nochwepheshe ukuze akusize ukuthole. Ngokuthatha lesi sinyathelo, uzobe uqinisekisa ukuthi indlela eya ekukhuleni nasekuzitholeni ihlelelwe wena, okumele ukwenze ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uhamba kuyo.
Uma ungathanda ukuqala ukuphola ekuhluphekeni ngosizo lochwepheshe, i-Bonobology inabelaphi abaningi abanolwazi abazimisele ukukusiza udlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima empilweni yakho.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela eziyi-10 zokubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo
Isikhathi selapha yonke into, kodwa uma sithatha izinto ezandleni zethu futhi sizijwayeze ukuzithanda kuqala, ukudabuka kwenhliziyo kungasifundisa izifundo eziyigugu ngathi kanye nohambo lwethu lwempilo. Ngamaphuzu ayi-11, ngithemba ukuthi manje usunombono ongcono wokuthi ungadlula kanjani inhliziyo ephukile. Sebenzisa ukudabuka kwenhliziyo ukuthuthukisa amandla omphefumulo kanye nokuqonda ubunkimbinkimbi nokujula kwemvelo yomuntu kanye nobudlelwano.
Ngabona ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho inhliziyo yami iphuka, ngivela okusha, futhi namuhla, ngima ngiphakeme ngenxa yalokho. Kimina, ukudabuka kwenhliziyo kube yisibusiso futhi ngibonga wonke umuntu okwenze kwaba lula.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
1. Iyiphi indlela esheshayo yokudlula inhliziyo ephukile?
Indlela eya ekululameni ngemva kokubhekana nokuhlukana kanzima incike kumuntu nomuntu. Ukuze uzibeke esimeni esingcono kakhulu, funa usizo lochwepheshe bese uzama ukwabelana nosizi lwakho nabangani. Hlaziya amaphethini akho okuqomisana futhi ulwele ukuzenza ngcono wena.
2. Uyiqeda kanjani inhliziyo ephukile ube usamthanda?
Vuma ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile futhi kufanele uqhubeke. Funa usizo kubangani kanye/noma ochwepheshe, njengoba lokhu kuqaphela kuvame ukufuna ukukubalekela.
“Omunye wozakwethu wangitshela ukuthi ngemva kokuhlukana kwakhe wenza iphuzu lokuthi agxile empilweni yakhe engokomzimba.
3. Ngibhekana kanjani nokuhlukana ngedwa?
Nakuba ukukhuluma nabanye abantu nokuzijabulisa kuzokusiza ukuthi ubhekane ngokuphumelelayo nokuhlukana, ukubhekana nakho kukodwa kusengenzeka. Zitholele kabusha izinto ozilibazisayo, zihlaziye futhi usebenzele ekubeni inguqulo yakho engcono kakhulu.
Imicabango Final
Ubuhlungu benhliziyo bungase buzizwe bungaphezu kwamandla, kodwa futhi kuyisikhathi esinamandla sokuzitholela ngokwakho kanye nokukhula. Zivumele ukucubungula ubuhlungu, kodwa futhi wamukele ithuba lokuphinda uthole ukuthi ungubani ngaphandle kobudlelwano. Ngokuzinakekela, ukubeka imingcele, nokuncika kubantu abasekelayo, uzothola amandla okuqhubekela phambili.
Khumbula, ukuphulukiswa akwenzeki ngokuphazima kweso, futhi kulungile ukukuthatha kancane. Uma udinga ukwesekwa, cabanga ukukhuluma nomelaphi ongakuqondisa kulolu hambo ngozwelo namathuluzi okuqina. Ukufinyelela kuyisinyathelo esinesibindi sokuya ekusasa eliqhakazile.
Indlela usizi lwami lwenhliziyo lwangishintsha ngayo njengomuntu
Indlela Owesifazane Oqamba Amanga Ayiphula Ngayo Inhliziyo Yomfana WaseDolobheni Elincane E-Tinder
Uchwepheshe Uphakamisa Izindlela Eziyisi-7 Zokusiza Umuntu Onezinkinga Zokuthenjwa
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Evezwe kahle, amazwi akho akhombisa ukuthi kuhlale kunomugqa osiliva efwini elimnyama.