Umona Wesikhathi Esidlule: Ukuqonda Izimbangela, Izimbangela, Namathiphu Okubhekana Nawo

Sonke sinecala lomona ebudlelwaneni. Eqinisweni, akuyona into embi ngempela. Kungase kuqinisekise futhi kuthandeke ngandlela-thile. Kunento enhle ngomlingani wakho ehwaqa abantu abakuthola uthandeka. Kodwa uyeka ukuba mnandi lapho umona we-retroactive ungena.

Umhawu ungaba ukukhathazeka lapho uba ngokweqile. A Ucwaningo lweCambridge ichaza lokhu njengesikhwele esibi, esivame ukubonakala ngokuziphatha okungamukeleki/okudlulele ngenxa yokuxakeka ngokungathembeki kozakwethu, ngaphandle kobufakazi obuqinile. Futhi, kwezinye izimo, njengomona we-retroactive, imbangi ebonwayo ayikho ngisho nasesithombeni. Imicabango edabukisayo izoba mayelana nobudlelwano bangaphambili bozakwethu noma izikhala zozakwethu.

Qhubeka ufunde ukuze ufunde kabanzi mayelana nomhawu obuyela emuva noma obuyela emuva nokuthi yini okudingeka uyenze ukuze ubhekane nawo. Sizophinde sikutshele ukuthi ungawunqoba kanjani umhawu wothando, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngaphakathi kwakho noma umlingani wakho.

Yini Edala Umona Obuyela emuva?

Ngaphambi kokuthi sihlole izimbangela zomona we-retroactive, kubalulekile ukukuchaza ngokufaka ukukhanya kokuthi umona/umhawu obuyela emuva noma obuyela emuva ungabukeka kanjani.

Umaqondana wakho ukubuze nge-ex yakho emsulwa. Kodwa i-casual "Hey, yayinjani i-ex yakho?" bekufanele ukubeke uqaphile. Futhi awuthandi iqiniso lokuthi kukhuphule imicabango engafuneki mayelana nezinto zakho zangaphambilini. Okunye obungakwazi ukuthi impendulo yakho izoqala uhambo lwakho olubi nolubi ngomona wesithandwa sakho.

Ngakho-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi ukhulume ngezici ezinhle zomlando wakho wothando odlule kanye ne-ex yakho, ngaphandle kokucabanga okuningi. Kuleli qophelo, mhlawumbe ucabange kusukela usunakho imingcele ebunganeni bakho ne-ex yakho, akunandaba kumlingani wakho wamanje.

Kodwa, i-ex yakho ibonakala iza kakhulu ezingxoxweni. Umlingani wakho uletha isithandwa sakho sangaphambili ezingxoxweni, ezingxabano, ngisho nasebusuku bothando. Ngokuphazima kweso okwakubonakala sengathi ukuxubana okuphelele kwemiphefumulo kuphenduka iphupho elibi.

Obhekene nakho umona obuyela emuva, lapho umlingani wakho ezizwa esongelwa ubudlelwano/ubudlelwano bakho bangaphambilini. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi, ngezinye izikhathi, kungaba nguwe othatheka ngama-exes omlingani wakho.

Umona we-retroactive ubangela

Izimbangela zemizwa yomona we-retroactive ziningi. Ucwaningo lubonisa lowo muzwa wokungazethembi unomthelela omkhulu emoneni. Kungaba ngamakhono akho, ukubukeka, noma ukungakwazi ukuba yilokho ocabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho ufuna. Okusondelene kakhulu nalokhu ukuzinyeza, lapho ukuqhathanisa njalo nozakwethu wangaphambili noma ubudlelwano bangaphambili bukhula. Ngeshwa, lokhu kuvame ukulimaza ubudlelwano bamanje.

Ubudlelwano obudlule bungathinta ubudlelwano bamanje ngezindlela eziningi. Izimo zokukhashelwa nokulahlwa zingadlala indima. Ungaveza ukungavikeleki kwakho ngenxa yokuntula ukwethemba noma ukwesaba ukulahlwa. Okufanayo kusebenza ekubonisweni kwesitayela sokunamathisela esikhathazekile. Imizwa yomlingani wakho wamanje ivame ukungabi nandaba lapho umona oshubile ungena.

Okokugcina, ukwenza kahle kozakwethu kubangela isidingo sokwethula i-front ephelele ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uma ubudlelwano bamanje bungafiki emcabangweni, kungase kube nokuthatheka mayelana nozakwethu bangaphambili okungenzeka ukuthi basondele ekufakeni umthethosivivinywa.

Izimpawu Zomhawu We-Retroactive

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho uhlushwa yilolu hlobo lomhawu olubhubhisayo. Izinguquko zokuziphatha, ezimweni ezinjalo, zibonakala ngokushesha okukhulu. Abagulayo bangakwazi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuthuthukisa izimo zempilo yengqondo. Imisebenzi yabo yansuku zonke nayo ingathinteka. Ngakho-ke, umhawu ongenampilo ubonakala kanjani ebudlelwaneni? Qaphela lezi zimpawu ezijwayelekile:

• Imicabango ephazamisayo: Isikhwele esinamandla esiphindisela emuva sibonakala emicabangweni emibi exakile egxile ebudlelwaneni bangaphambili bozakwethu noma ukuya ocansini.
• Ilukuluku elijulile: Umhawu ovela emuva ufana nendlala engeke yaneliswa. Ogulayo unelukuluku elijulile lokwazi mayelana nesikhathi esidlule somlingani wakhe. Bazokwenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuze bafune ulwazi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kulimaza kangakanani, kuhlanganise nanoma imaphi amaqiniso ngomlando wocansi womlingani
• Ukucabanga nokuphinda ucabange ngezimo: Umuntu ohlushwa imizwa yesikhwele ebuyela emuva uhlala eshayela ngokweqile. Bachitha amahora amaningi becabanga futhi bephinda becabanga izimo nabadlali ababili ababalulekile: umlingani wabo kanye nowayekade enguphathina wabo.
• Ukwesabeka mayelana nesikhathi esidlule sozakwethu: Abaphethwe yisifo bathambekele ekucabangeni ngokweqile ukuthi impilo yomlingani wabo no-ex yayinjani. Imicabango ephindaphindayo kanye nengenelelayo iholela ekuzizweni ungavikelekile, ukuthatheka, kanye nomhawu
• Ilukuluku elidlulele mayelana nobudlelwano bangaphambili bozakwethu: Labo abaphethwe yilolu hlobo lomona banesifiso esinamandla sokwazi yonke into mayelana nobudlelwano bangaphambili babalingani babo. Bangase bachithe amahora befuna ukwaziswa okunjalo, behlola imiyalezo yophathina babo kanye nerekhodi locingo, ngokuvamile okulimaza ukuphila kwabo kwansuku zonke.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Isikhwele Ebudlelwaneni Isikhathi esiningi siyinkomba yalezi zinto eziyi-9: Umbono Wochwepheshe

Yini Ebangela Iziqephu Zomhawu We-Retroactive?

Izimbangela zomona we-retroactive ziningi futhi zizoncika kumuntu ngamunye. Sonke sinamazinga ahlukahlukene okuzwela futhi singanamathisela ukubaluleka kwezinto abanye abangenazo. Kodwa, singafingqa ezinye zezibangeli kanje:

• Izingxoxo mayelana nobudlelwano obudlule: Umthetho wegolide ebudlelwaneni kufanele kube ukushiya okwedlule lapho okukhona. Kodwa, ngezinye izikhathi, wena noma umlingani wakho ningase nihambe nihamba ngezinyawo ningacelwanga. Ungase uveze ezinye zezikhathi ezijabulisayo, ezisondelene nama-ex. Nokho, izingxoxo ezinjalo zingabangela kalula umona nokungazethembi
• Imidiya yomphakathi: Izifundo zibonisa ukuxhumana phakathi komona we-retroactive kanye nomhawu. Ukusebenzelana okuqhubekayo phakathi kozakwenu nalabo asebekhulile ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kungaba yimbangela enkulu.
  Izikhumbuzi nezikhumbuzo: I-Keepsakes iyisikhumbuzo sothando nezikhathi ezimnandi owabelana ngazo nozakwethu bangaphambili. Kodwa ukungqubuzana nezinhlamvu zothando, izipho ezibizayo, nezithombe ezithokomele kungaba nomthelela omubi emizweni yomlingani wakho
• Ukuxhumana okuqhubekayo no-ex: Kwesinye isikhathi, umbhangqwana ungase uhlukane ngokuthula futhi uzoqhubeka nokuba abangani ngemva kokuphela kobudlelwano bothando. Kodwa, lokho kuphuza okuvamile, imibhalo, nezingcingo kungavusa imizwa yomona nokungazethembi
• Imibuthano yokuxhumana nabantu okwabelwana ngayo: Ukuhlukana nowayethandana naye akusho ukuthi sekufanele uhlukane nabangane bakho owabelane nabo. Kodwa manje uletha umlingani wakho wamanje, okufanele alalele izindaba futhi yamukela ubudlelwano bakho obudlule. Kungaba nzima kubo ukuzwa ukuthi u-ex wakho wayemuhle kangakanani, ngaphandle kokungabaza ukuthi aqale ukuvusa ikhanda lakhe elibi mayelana nokuthi bahle kangakanani. Futhi-ke, kukhona umona
• Iziqhathaniso: Abaningi bethu bebenecala lokuqhathanisa ozakwethu bethu bamanje nowakudala. Ngakho-ke, kunezinto 'ilangabi elidala' elizenze kahle kangangokuthi awukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa uzisho ngezikhathi ezithile. Ekugcineni, umlingani wakho uzozizwa edelelekile, njengoba lokhu kungase kushaye ukuzethemba kwakhe

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela izinto ezibangela umona we-retroactive futhi uzigweme ngenxa yempilo yakho yengqondo nobudlelwano. Uma ungakwenzi, kunemiphumela okufanele uyiqaphele.

Umona We-Retroactive Ukuthinta Kanjani?

Ingabe umona we-retroactive unomthelela? Yebo impela, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kungase kushube kangangokuthi nobabili ningadinga usizo lwabeluleki abaqeqeshiwe ukuze nidlule kukho. Inselele enkulu ukuthi izinsongo ezivela kulowo ocatshangelwayo ziyimicabango nje. Umuntu uyacabanga ukuthi kwenzekani futhi angapenda noma yisiphi isimo esivumelana nezidingo zakhe ngaleso sikhathi.

Usesimweni esinzima uma usesimweni sokuthola umona we-retroactive. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni nomuntu ohlale ekhuluma ngomlando wakho wezothando odlule angeke kube lula. Kuwe, kungaholela ekulahlekelweni ukuzethemba, ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, nokukhathala. Ukuxhumana nophathina wakho kuzoba nzima, njengoba bengakwazi ukuzivikela uma bezwa ukuthi awumqondi. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi inyunyana izoba nezinkinga futhi ingase igcine iholele ekuhlukaneni.

Ngokufanayo, uma kunguwena ophethwe umona we-retroactive, akubi ngcono. Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ukuncipha ukuzethemba/ukuzethemba, ukuntula ukuzethemba, nobunzima bokuxhumana cishe njalo kuyimiphumela. Imicabango exakile kanye nokwehliswa kuzoholela ku-OCD yomona we-retroactive, okusho ukuthi uzoba nemicabango ekhathazayo necindezelayo ngomlando womlingani wakho.

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Ingabe umona we-retroactive uzophela?

Ngakho-ke, ingabe umona we-retroactive uzoke uphele? Kucatshangelwa izinto ezimbalwa lapho kuphendulwa lo mbuzo. Lokhu kuhlanganisa umuntu, izimbangela zomona, nemizamo yokuwulungisa noma ukuwulawula. Ngosizo olufanele kanye nomzamo womuntu ngamunye, kungenzeka ukulawula lolu hlobo lomhawu.

Umuntu kufanele, ngokwesibonelo, azinike isikhathi sokuzindla kanye nokukhula kwakhe. Ukwembula izinkinga eziwumsuka nokubhekana nazo kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekwehliseni ukushuba kokuhlangenwe nakho.

Uzakwethu wamanje naye unendima ebalulekile okufanele ayidlale. Umuntu udinga uzwela, ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile, nokuqonda ukuze abhekane nomhawu onjalo. Umuntu obonisa isikhwele esibuyisela emuva udinga ukuba sendaweni esekela imizamo yakhe yokulawula imizwa yakhe kangcono.

Ekugcineni, imibhangqwana yokwelapha, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuso nobuso noma ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano ku-inthanethi, kufanelekile ukucatshangelwa. Ochwepheshe kulesi sizinda banolwazi lokudalula izimbangela futhi banikeze amasu namathuluzi okubhekana nesimo.

Ukubhekana nomona wangemuva

Kubalulekile ukufunda ungabi nomona kanjani ebudlelwaneni, futhi kuhlanganisa nokuthola izindlela ezifanele zokubhekana nesimo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nguwe ohlushwa umona wesikhathi esidlule noma unobudlelwano nomuntu onomona. Njengoba sesishilo ngenhla, lolu hlobo lomona luzonithinta kabi nobabili. Ukugxila okungenampilo nabalingani bozakwenu ekugcineni kuzophazamisa impilo yakho yengqondo neyomlingani wakho.

Ukushiya izinto zinjengoba zinjalo, futhi unethemba lokuthi izinto zizoba ngcono, nakho akusebenzi. Kodwa ukuqaphela nokusebenzisa amasu afanele kusenesikhathi kungasiza ekuvimbeleni ukuphelelwa ubudlelwano. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngale ndlela, uthola ukugcina impilo yakho yengqondo futhi ungajabulela ukuphila futhi uthande okwengeziwe.

Uma uzibuza ukuthi kanjani bhekana nomaqondana onomona ngomona onjalo wokubuyisela emuva, nanka amanye amasu okubhekana nawo:

1. Bonisa uzwela nokuqonda

Qala ngokuqaphela ukuthi umlingani wakho ubhekene nesikhathi esivivinya ngokomzwelo. Akekho ofuna ukuphila impilo yemibuzo engapheli, ukungafaneleki, nokungazethembi. Ngakho-ke, noma kunzima kangakanani, zama ukuqonda nokuzwela imizwa yomlingani wakho. Lokho kusho ukubekela eceleni noma yikuphi ukwahlulela noma intukuthelo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bakusunduza kanzima kangakanani.

2. Vula izintambo zokuxhumana

Ukwethembeka kanye ukuxhumana okuvulekile zibucayi. Umlingani wakho udinga ukuzwa ukuthi usendaweni ephephile lapho angaveza khona okumkhathazayo nokwesaba. Lalela ngenkuthalo futhi uqinisekise okubakhathazayo nemizwelo yabo, ngisho noma ungavumelani nombono wabo. Ukuxhumana okuvulekile kuzokwenza kube lula ukusho lokho okuzwayo, ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ukupholisa kwakho.

3. Qhubeka uqinisekisa

Uzobe wenza okuningi okuqinisekisayo lapho usebenza nozakwenu obhekene nezinsongo ozibonayo. Bakhombise ukuthi uzinikele futhi umanje nokuthi okwedlule akuwuthinti uthando nokuzinikela kwakho kubo.

4. Misa imingcele

Misa imingcele ngokucacile, uchaze ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha okwamukelekayo. Veza ukuthi ngeke wamukele noma yini eyeqa umugqa, okuhlanganisa ukulawula ngokweqile noma umhawu.

5. Bakhuthaze ukuthi bafune ukwelashwa

Uma umlingani wakho engakwazi ukunqoba imicabango yakhe ye-retroactive futhi kuthatha impilo yakhe, funa ukwelashwa kwabashadile. Eqinisweni, nobabili ningadinga ukuqondiswa kanye nemininingwane evela kochwepheshe ukuze nizulazule ebudlelwaneni kangcono. Ngaleyo ndlela, nobabili ningaqala inqubo yokudala izinkumbulo ezintsha ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni benu.

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Uma unomona we-retrospective, nazi ezinye izindlela zokuwufinyelela:

1. Ukuzazi nokwamukela

Awukwazi ukuxazulula inkinga uma ungakwamukeli ukuthi ikhona. Ngakho-ke, indima ebalulekile yokuzazi nokwamukela ibalulekile. Ukuba nomona akukwenzi umuntu omubi. Ngakho-ke, yiba nozwelo ngokwakho.
Ukuzazi kusho ukucaca mayelana nokuthi yini eyenza ube nokuqagela nemicabango engenangqondo. Kusho ukuqwashisa ngalokho okumele ugxile kukho. Kusho futhi ukungaphili esikhathini esedlule ube udebeselela isimo samanje.

Funda okubalulekile indima yokuzethemba ebudlelwaneni futhi uzinike isikhathi semisebenzi yokuzinakekela ukuze ube nenhlalakahle yakho. Ekugcineni, ukunqoba lolu hlobo lomhawu kungathatha isikhathi nomzamo. Zinike isikhathi esiningi nomusa, futhi uzibophezele ohambweni lokukhula komuntu siqu.

2. Khomba izimbangela zomona we-retroactive

Umlando wothando womlingani wakho akufanele ube nendaba. Izinsongo ozibonayo zisengqondweni yakho. Ngakho-ke, qaphela izinto ezenza kube nokuqubuka komona. Uma kuyinkundla yezokuxhumana, kungase kube isikhathi sokuvala uze ukwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho kangcono. Kufanele ubhekane nanoma yini eletha imizwa yokungazethembi, ukuze ulawule impilo yakho yomzwelo neyengqondo.

3. Ukuxhumana okuvulekile

Khuluma ngokukhululekile nomlingani wakho ngakho konke okukukhathazayo kanye nobunzima. Izinkinga zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kuvela emidlalweni yokusola nokusolwa okungenasisekelo. Eqinisweni, akukho okuhle okuvela ezingxoxweni ezinjalo.

4. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Akumele ulwe nemizwa uwedwa. Abelaphi abangochwepheshe kanye nabeluleki abasebenza kahle ngokwemizwa nobudlelwano banganikeza isiqondiso nokusekelwa.

Siphetha ngokuthi umona obuyela emuva uvamile, futhi abaningi bethu bayawuqonda. Kodwa-ke, uma ungenakho ukulawula imizwa yakho ngabadala bomlingani wakho, kungadala inkinga enkulu ebudlelwaneni kanye nempilo yakho yansuku zonke. Kubalulekile ukukhomba izimpawu nokusebenzisa izindlela ezidingekayo zokubhekana nesimo ukuze ulawule imizwa yomona enjalo. Futhi uma ungeke ukwazi ukukwenza ngokwakho, ungafuna ukwelashwa kochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe.

Ingabe Umona Onempilo Ungakusiza Ukwakha Ubudlelwano Obuqinile?

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