Izimpawu Umfana Uzifela Ngawe Ngendlela Embi: 15 Amafulegi Abomvu

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Uthando luhloselwe ukuzwa ukufudumala, ukuphepha, nokugxila. Kodwa kunomehluko phakathi komuntu onentshisekelo yangempela kuwe nomuntu ozimisele ukulawula zonke izici zempilo yakho. Lawa maphethini okuqala angaba yizimpawu ezibalulekile ukuthi insizwa iyakufela ngendlela embi. Lapho uthando lwendoda luzizwa njengengcindezi kunokuthula, lufana nokuba nezinto kunobudlelwane, udinga ukubuza—kwenzekani ngempela?

Ukuthatheka akuhlali kuklabalasa. Kwesinye isikhathi, ifika isongwe ngezincomo, ukungena njalo, noma ukuvakasha okungalindelekile. Njengoba UDkt. Jenn Mann, uchwepheshe womshado nomkhaya onelayisensi, uyachaza, uthando olweqisayo luvame ukucasha ngenxa yokuqina nokukhula ngokushesha okungokomzwelo—aluyihloniphi imingcele, luyabahlukumeza.

Sikhulume nabesifazane abambalwa ababelana ngezinto ezifuze lezi ezithusayo: omunye uchaze indlela umlingani wakhe athumele ngayo imibhalo engaphezu kuka-80 ngosuku wabe esemsola ngokumziba uma ethatha isikhathi esingaphezu kwemizuzu eyi-10 ukuphendula. Omunye wabelane ngendlela isoka lakhe eligcizelela ngayo i-FaceTiming njalo kusihlwa "ukuze libone ubuso bakhe," kodwa kwacaca ukuthi kwakumayelana nokuhlola indawo yakhe.

Ukubona lezi zimpawu zokuthatheka kungakusiza ukuthi uhlehle ngaphambi kokuthi ubanjwe kokuthile okuzwakala njengogibe kunokuxhumana. Ukuthatheka ngothando akukhona ukuzinikela—kuyiphethini yokulawula, ukukhathazeka, nokunamathela ngokweqile okuthinta ukuphepha kwakho ngokomzwelo.

15 Signs Umfana Uzifela Ngawe Ngendlela Embi

Okuqukethwe

E-Bonobology, sivame ukuzwa kubafundi abathi, "Ubonakala enjalo kimi, kodwa kukhona okuphathekayo." Kuwumuzwa okhula ngaphezu kwalokho obungakulindela, futhi ngokuvamile kuwuphawu lokuthile okujulile. Ukuthatheka akulona uthando olunentshiseko eyengeziwe; wukulawula okugqokiswe njengokuzinikela. Yingakho sihlanganise lo mhlahlandlela. Sikhethe izimpawu ezitshela kakhulu ukuthi insizwa icabanga ngawe ngendlela embi, ukuze ukwazi ukuvikela indawo yakho, imingcele yakho, kanye nempilo yakho engokomzwelo.

Lo mhlahlandlela udalelwe ukukusiza ukuthi ubone lawo mafulegi abomvu kusenesikhathi. Kusukela ekuthatheni izinto ngokumelene nothando, kuya ekuqondeni lapho umuntu ethathekile ngawe uma ekukhathalela ngempela, ukwazi umehluko kuvikela ukuthula kwakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usanda kuqala ukuqomisana noma unezinyanga, ukubona izimpawu zomuntu wesilisa ekulangazelelayo kungakunikeza ukucaca nesibindi sokuhlehla futhi ubeke phambili ukuphepha kwakho ngokomzwelo ngaphambi kokuba izinto ziqhubeke. Ngoba uthando lwangempela ayinciphisi, iyasekela. Eqinisweni, izimpawu eziningi zokuthi othile uyazifela ngawe azinakwa ngoba ucasha ngemuva kothando. Uma uke wazibuza ukuthi ukunaka kwakhe kuzwakala kushubile yini, awuwedwa, lezi ngokuvamile kuyizimpawu zokuthi othile uyakufela.

“Ukuthatheka akukona ukuzinikela—ukulahlekelwa ubumina.
- UDkt. Jenn Mann, umelaphi womshado nowomndeni onelayisensi

1. Ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ukuphi njalo ngomzuzu

Ekuqaleni, kungase kuzwakale kumnandi ukuthi ehlola njalo kodwa uma sekuphenduke ukulandelela konke okwenzayo, kweqa umugqa. Owesifazane othile wasitshela ukuthi isoka lakhe lizicelela kanjani izithombe ozishuthe sona usuku lonke ukuze nje “libone ukuthi lihloseni.” Enye yabelwa indawo yakhe ngaphandle kokubuza, futhi wayisebenzisa ukubuza yonke indawo ayimisayo. Uma umfana edinga izibuyekezo zokuthi ukuphi, nobani, nokuthi uzohlala isikhathi esingakanani—ngaso sonke isikhathi—akukona mayelana nokukhathalela, kumayelana nokulawula.

Indlela yokusingatha

Ngesizotha setha okulindelweyo ngezikhathi zokuphendula noma izibuyekezo zansuku zonke
Vala ukwabelana ngendawo uma kukwenza ungakhululeki
Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina” ukuveza ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe kukuthinta kanjani ukuthula kwengqondo
Uma kudingeka, dala indawo ebonakalayo ukuze uphinde uthole ukuzimela

Angathukuthela uma ngingamphenduli kungakapheli mizuzu emingaki, ngayeka ukuphuma ngoba nje ngibalekela idrama.” - u/Phonsa i-oldvirgin

2. Akakuhloniphi ubumfihlo bakho

Phakathi ku ubuhlobo obunempilo, imilayezo yakho, amagama ayimfihlo, nempilo yedijithali kufanele kuhlale kungokwakho—ngaphandle uma ukhetha ukwabelana. Kodwa ngozakwethu othathekile, ubumfihlo abukho. Ungase umbambe ejeqeza esikrinini sefoni yakho, ubuze ukuthi uthumela bani umbhalo, noma okubi nakakhulu, edlula imilayezo yakho lapho ungekho.

Indlela yokusingatha

Gcina iphasiwedi yedivayisi yakho ivikelekile, futhi ungazizwa ubophekile ukwabelana ngokufinyelela
Zigomela ngokuthi ukwethemba akudingi ukucaca okuphelele
Qinisekisa imingcele yakho lapho ukuhlasela okuncane kwenzeka
Phakamisa izingxoxo ezivulekile phezu kokuhlola okuyimfihlo

“Ukwethembana akwakhiwe ngokususa ubumfihlo—kwakhiwa ngokukuhlonipha.”
- U-Esther Perel

3. Ubonakala engamenyiwe

Izimanga zimnandi uma kwenzeka ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa uma eqhamuka kaningi engakutshelanga, akulona ezothando, kuyangeneka. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi indawo yakho yokusebenza, ijimu, noma ikhaya lomngane wakho, ukuvela ngaphandle kwesaziso kubonisa ukugadwa okukhulu. Ukuvela ehhovisi lakho, ikhefi oyintandokazi, noma indawo yokuzivocavoca kuwuphawu lokuthi uhlale ebheka ukunyakaza kwakho.

Indlela yokusingatha

Menze azi ukuthi ukuvakasha okungalindelekile kukwenza ungakhululeki
Khuthaza izinhlelo ezihleliwe "ngezimanga"
Ungasithetheleli isidingo sakho sesikhala. Yima uqine emingceleni yomuntu siqu
Bandakanya umngane omethembayo noma umeluleki uma ukuziphatha kuqhubeka

4. Uba nomona ngawo wonke umuntu

Umona obangelwa ukungazethembi kwangempela kwesinye isikhathi ungasebenza kodwa uma insizwa isola wonke umuntu empilweni yakho, akuseyona indaba yothando. A indoda enomona ivamise ukuba nesandla nokulawula. Indoda ethathekile ivamise ukubona noma yikuphi ukusebenzisana kwakho nomunye umuntu njengosongo ekubambeni kwakhe kuwe.

lapho i-obsession idlulela ebusheni — Lapho edinga ukwazi konke okwenzayo, akulona uthando—ukuqapha. Qaphela lolu phawu olucashile lokulawula

Indlela yokusingatha

Gwema ukuchaza ngokweqile konke ukuxhumana onakho nabanye
Menze azi ukuthi ukusabela kwakhe kukwenza uzizwe ubhekiwe noma usolwa
Qinisekisa lapho kufaneleka kodwa ungakubekezeleli ukulawula
Phakamisa izithandani ukwelulekwa uma isikhwele siba ngokweqisa

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5. Ukubhoboza ngemiyalezo

Ukukhulumisana njalo kungaba nomuzwa wothando ekuqaleni. Kodwa uma ifoni yakho ikhanyisa njalo emizuzwini embalwa, ayiselona uthando, isiwukukhathazeka, ukulawula, kanye nesidingo esingokomzwelo esongwe ngama-emoji. Uma umfana egcwalisa ifoni yakho ngemilayezo usuku lonke futhi ethukile uma ungaphenduli ngokushesha, kuwuphawu ukuthi imizwa yakhe incike ekufinyeleleni njalo kuwe. Lokhu kungase kubukeke njengokubonakaliswa kwe uthando olujulile kodwa, empeleni, isuka endaweni yokunamathela okungenampilo futhi idala ingcindezi enkulu.

Indlela yokusingatha

Ungazizwa ucindezelwa ukuba uphendule ngokushesha; beka imingcele yokuxhumana
Thulisa izaziso noma sebenzisa okuthi “ungaphazamisi” phakathi nomsebenzi noma uphumule
Qinisekisa uma kudingeka, kodwa ungakumisi ukufinyelela okujwayelekile
Cabanga ngendlela ukuziphatha kwakhe kwemiyalezo kukwenza uzizwe, futhi ukukhulume lokho ngokwethembeka

6. Unyakaza kakhulu

Ukukutshela ukuthi uyakuthanda ngesonto lokuqala, ukucabangela izingane zakho ngesonto lesibili, futhi ukukhuluma ngokungena ngenyanga kungase kuzwakale njengokuthanda kodwa ngokuvamile kuwukukhohlisa okwaziwa ngokuthi. thanda amabhomu. Lolu hlobo lokuqina lungazwakala luthopha uma ufisa ukuxhumana. Kodwa kudlula isigqi esingokwemvelo sokwazi othile futhi kudala ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo.

izimpawu zokulawula ukuziphatha ekuqomeni — Ingabe ubheka konke okuthunyelwe kwakho, ukubeka amazwana, nokulandela? Ukuqapha inkundla yezokuxhumana kuyifulegi elikhulu elibomvu kwezothando zanamuhla

Indlela yokusingatha

Thatha isikhathi sakho ukwazi umuntu. Ungahambisani nejubane labo uma lizwakala liyashesha
Ngesizotha nciphisa izingxoxo mayelana nezinhlelo zesikhathi esizayo
Beka imingcele ngokusondelana ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, kanye nedijithali
Themba umuzwa wakho wemvelo uma uzwakala kakhulu, mhlawumbe kunjalo

7. Uyathukuthela uma uthi cha

Ukungaboni ngaso linye kuvamile kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Kodwa uma wonke “cha” oyinikezayo ehlangabezana nokuthukuthela, ukuhlwitha, ukuhoxa ngokomzwelo, noma icala, khona-ke akukhona nje ukungaboni ngaso linye, kuwukuxhaphaza imizwa. Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, abalingani abajezisani ngokuqinisekisa izidingo zabo.

Indlela yokusingatha

Hlala uzolile futhi ungaguquguquki lapho ubeka imingcele
Zikhumbuze ukuthi ukuthi “cha” kuyilungelo lakho
Ungachazi ngokweqile noma uhlehlele emuva uma esabela kabi
Ziqhelelanise nanoma ubani okwenza uzizwe unecala ngokuqinisekisa izidingo zakho

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8. Ukwenza uzizwe unecala ngokuphila

Njalo ubudlelwano kufanele buvumele ukukhula komuntu ngamunye. Kodwa lapho esabela kabi ngesikhathi sakho somuntu siqu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubusuku bamantombazane noma ukuzitika yedwa kwe-Netflix, kuyifulegi elibomvu ukuthi ubudlelwano bungase bufinyelele endaweni ekhathazayo. Akekho okufanele akwenze uzizwe kabi ngokuphila impilo yakho.

Indlela yokusingatha

Mkhumbuze ukuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo busekela ubuntu
Setha futhi uvikele isikhathi sakho siqu ngaphandle kokuxolisa
Yenza izinhlelo ngaphandle kokuzwa sengathi udinga imvume
Khuthaza izingxoxo ezivulekile, kodwa ungathetheleli noma uvikele isimiso sakho

9. Uhlale ekulandelela ku-inthanethi

Ubuwenzani ku-inthanethi ngo-2 ekuseni? Kungani ushiye umbhalo wami "uyabonakala" ihora lonke? Kungani i-ex yakho ibona izindaba zakho ze-Instagram? Imibuzo efana nale iyizimpawu eziyisixwayiso ezicacile zokuthi umfana uqapha konke okwenzayo ku-inthanethi. Ukugxuma okufushane ukusuka lapha kuya ohlelweni lokusebenza lokulandelela oluyimfihlo olufakwa kufoni yakho, yingakho udinga ukubona leli fulegi elibomvu ukuziphatha ngokweqile futhi uyifake emqulwini.

amafulegi abomvu lapho umfana egxile kakhulu — Ukuqina akubona ukusondelana njalo

Indlela yokusingatha

Vala amarisidi afundiwe noma ukubukwa kwendaba uma kusiza ukugcina imingcele
Khawulela lokho owabelana ngakho ku-inthanethi uma kusetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe
Bhekana nokuziphatha okuku-inthanethi ngokungathi sína njengokulawula komhlaba wangempela
Themba amathumbu akho uma intshisekelo yakhe ifana nokugadwa

10. Uzama ukulawula lokho okugqokayo

Ngokuqondene nezibonakaliso ukuthi umfana umatasa ngawe ngendlela embi, ukuphikisa kwakhe izingubo zakho noma amazwi adlulisayo njengokuthi ugqoke ngendlela ethile ukuze udonse ukunaka noma uphakamisa ukulwa nawe mayelana nokuthi kungani "ukucela" kufana nefulegi elibomvu elikhulu ngendlela engaba ngayo.

Indlela yokusingatha

Gqokisa wena, hhayi ukunethezeka kwakhe
Ngomoya ophansi gomela ngokuthi ukubukeka kwakho kuyisinqumo sakho
Yenqaba ulimi olufihla ukulawula njengokunakekela
Bandakanya abangani abathenjwayo noma ochwepheshe uma ukuphawula kwakhe kwanda

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11. Akanakho ukuphila ngaphandle kwakho

Ukuba kuqala kothile kuyathandeka, ukuba yizinto ezibalulekile kuye kuphela akunampilo. Uma ekulahle abangani, izinto azithandayo, noma ubuyena, akukhona ukuzinikela. Kuyi- ukuzimela ngokomzwelo, futhi kubeka ingcindezi engafanele endimeni yakho ekuphileni kwakhe.

Indlela yokusingatha

Mkhuthaze ukuthi aphinde axhumane nezinto azithandayo noma ubungane
Ungazizwa unecala ngokuba neyakho impilo nezinto eziza kuqala
Beka isikhathi eceleni njengento evamile, ukulindela okunempilo
Yazi ukuthi ukuncika ngokomzwelo kungaba yingozi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi

12. Unecala-ukuhamba njalo

Awunasibopho ngemizwa yakhe. Uma ehlala ethola indlela yokukwenza uzizwe unecala, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungenxa yokudinga indawo, ukubona abangani, noma ukungathumeli imiyalezo ngokushesha, kuyisu ukukhwabanisa kwezothando, hhayi uthando. Icala liba yintambo ekugcina uboshelwe kulokho akulindele.

izimpawu zesexwayiso zesoka — Ingabe ukwenza uzizwe unobugovu ngokuba nemingcele noma ukuphila komphakathi? Lokho akunandaba—kuyimpoqo

Indlela yokusingatha

Qaphela icala njengeqhinga lokukhohlisa, hhayi ukubonakaliswa kweqiniso
Yenqaba ukuzibandakanya lapho wazi ukuthi imingcele yakho ivumelekile
Zikhumbuze ukuthi kulungile ukwenqaba ngaphandle kokuzizwa unobugovu
Mqinisekise lapho kufaneleka, kodwa hhayi ngokulahlekelwa ukunethezeka kwakho

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uyimisa Kanjani Imingcele Ebudlelwaneni Ngaphandle Kokuzizwa Unecala

13. Uzisongela ngokuzilimaza

Lokhu ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ngenye yezindlela zayo ezimnyama kakhulu. Uma esho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Ngizozilimaza uma ungishiya,” usebenzisa ukwesaba ukuze akulawule. Ukuphepha kwakho nokuthula kwengqondo akufanele neze kube umhlatshelo ukuze kushwelezwe ukuziphatha kothile okungazinzile

Indlela yokusingatha

Zikhumbuze ukuthi awunasibopho ngempilo yakhe yengqondo
Mkhuthaze ukuthi afune usizo lochwepheshe uma edonsa kanzima
Bandakanya umuntu omdala omethembayo, umngane, noma umeluleki uma uzizwa ungaphephile
Yazi ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kuwuhlobo lokukhohlisa

14. Uyakuzonda uma ukhuluma nge past yakho

Okudlule kwakho kuyingxenye yendaba yakho, hhayi into oyifihlayo. Uma ethukuthela noma engazethembi lapho ukhuluma ngama-ex, ubungane bakudala, noma amaphutha esikhathi esidlule, akuzweli. Ukuba ngumnikazi kanye nomzamo wokuphinda ubhale indaba yakho.

Indlela yokusingatha

Zigomele ngokuthi isipiliyoni sakho sangaphambilini sivumelekile futhi sibalulekile
Gwema ukunciphisa ukuphila kwakho ukuze nje ugweme ukungqubuzana
Cacisa ukuthi ukwethembana kubandakanya ukuhlonipha umlando wakho womuntu siqu
Mkhumbuze ukuthi okwedlule kwakho kwakusiza ekulolongeni lokho oyikho

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15. Ukwenza uzizwe sengathi umkweleta uthando

Uthando alukona ukuthengiselana. Uma elokhu eveza yonke into akwenzele yona njengokukwenzela umusa, izipho, noma ukwesekwa, njengendlela yokukusola ngokuhlala noma ukumthanda, lokho kuyimpoqo. Uthando lweqiniso aluwagcini amarisidi.

izimpawu zokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni — izimpawu zesexwayiso zesoka

Indlela yokusingatha

Vuma ukuthi uthando akufanele neze luze neyunithi yezinhlamvu enamathiselwe
Buyela emuva ngobumnene lapho othile esebenzisa icala ukuze afune uthando
Misa imingcele yemizwa mayelana nalokho ozizwa ngempela
Qaphela lapho ukunikeza kuzwakala njengesibopho kunokuzikhethela

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Yiziphi izimpawu ezinkulu owesilisa ekufela ngazo?

Ukuxhumana ngokweqile, ukuziphatha okulawulayo, umona owedlulele, kanye nokungahloniphi imingcele yakho kuyizimpawu eziphezulu zokuthi indoda ikuthanda kakhulu.

2. Ingabe ukuthatheka kuwuphawu lothando?

Cha. Empikiswaneni yokuthatheka iqhathaniswa nezothando, ukuthatheka kubangelwa ukungalondeki nokwesaba—hhayi uthando lwangempela noma ukuhloniphana.

3. Uma othile ekuthathekile, ingabe kungaphenduka uthando lwangempela?

Akuvamile. I-Obsession psychology ibonisa ukuthi ukunamathela okungenampilo kuvame ukuba kubi ngaphandle uma bobabili abalingani befuna usizo lochwepheshe.

4. Ngimphatha kanjani umuntu ongidlayo?

Beka imingcele ecacile, khawula ukuthintana, futhi ufune ukusekelwa. Uma kukhula, cabanga ukubandakanya umelaphi noma usizo lwezomthetho.

Imicabango Final

Uma uhlala uhamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda, uziqagela, noma uzizwa uvaleleke ebuhlotsheni, ungakushayi njengothando olujulile. Izimpawu zomfana ezikulangazelela kabi zingaqala zibe zincane—kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, zicekela phansi umuzwa wakho wokuphepha nokuzihlonipha.
Uthando olunempilo lukunikeza indawo yokukhula. I-Obsession ifuna ukudla kuphela. Themba intuition yakho, ubeke imingcele, futhi khumbula: awusoze ukweleta umuntu ukuthula kwakho ngoba nje ethi uyakhathalela.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.