Izimpawu Eziyisi-9 Ukuthi Unethezekile Ebudlelwaneni Kodwa Awusothandweni

Obunye ubudlelwano buqala ngomlilo, futhi buphume nosizi. Abanye bavuselela, abanye bayadonsa, abanye bayaphela. Ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele, umlingani wakho uba yinsika ebalulekile yesistimu yakho yokwesekwa futhi umethemba ngokuphelele. Noma kunjalo, kukhona ukukhathazeka okuvamile kodwa okuvamise ukungalungisiwe okukhungethe abalingani abaningi ebudlelwaneni: Ingabe ngikhululekile ebudlelwaneni kodwa angithandani?

Uyakhumbula ukuthi ugcine nini ukuthi "ngiyakuthanda" ngobuqotho hhayi njengebinzana elidlulayo? Umsebenzi ongaguquki ongena ebuhlotsheni, yonke inqwaba yemizwa - emihle, engathathi hlangothi kanye nemibi - ozulazula kuyo ngenxa yomuntu oyedwa, izivunguvungu zesimo sezulu, kanye nokunethezeka okujulile okuthola komunye nomunye: konke lokhu ukutshalwa kwezimali okukhulu kwesikhathi, uthando namandla. Kodwa ukunethezeka okukhulu kunobubi bakho, njengoba sizothola maduze nje. Kungenzeka ukuthi usothandweni futhi unethezeke kahle nophathina wakho, noma ninethezeke ebudlelwaneni kodwa ningathandani.

Ungakhululeka Kodwa Ungathandi?

'Sihlala kanjani' othandweni? Ngomzamo omkhulu, umusa, inhlanhla, kanye nokusekelwa komphakathi. Ingabe imibhangqwana ihlala ithandana? Cha. Ubudlelwano obuningi abusenawo amandla okuqala, kodwa bunento enhle ephuma ekuhlaleni ndawonye isikhathi eside: induduzo. Kunezinto eziningi ezinhle ezenziwa abalingani uma sebekhululekile nawe . Ngezinye izikhathi, ukukhululeka nokuba sothandweni kuzwakala kufana kakhulu ebudlelwaneni kangangokuthi asikwazi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwalokhu okubili bese uqala ukuzibuza, “Ingabe ngiyaphelelwa uthando noma ngikhululekile nje?”

Abantu abaningi abathanda ubumnandi abamthandi umuntu abanaye. Ukukhululeka yilokho abahlose ukucebisa nokujulisa ubudlelwano babo. Lesi sihloko ngeye-alloromantics, nalabo abafisa ukuhlala bethandana nabalingani babo noma ngabe kudala kangakanani. Ungumuntu ongahambisani nawo wonke umqondo wokukhululeka ebudlelwaneni kodwa hhayi othandweni.

Kunjalo, uboshelwe ukuba nezimagqabhagqabha ezimbi noma ezibuthuntu nomlingani wakho. Kungokwemvelo ukungabaza wena nothando onalo ngabo ngezikhathi ezinjalo. Kodwa asikwazi ukuvumela imicabango ebangelwa ukucindezeleka noma isigaba esifiphele ukuba silawule ubuqiniso besibopho sethu. Kubalulekile ukuthatha isinyathelo emuva ngaleso sikhathi, futhi uthole ukuthi uzizwa kanjani.

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Izimpawu Eziyisi-9 Ukuthi Unethezekile Ebudlelwaneni Kodwa Awusothandweni

Ngakho-ke, uqala nini ukuzizwa ukhululekile ebudlelwaneni kuze kube manje sekuwukunganeliseki? Uma usuqala ukuzizwa sengathi usebenza njengeqembu elinamafutha amaningi, kodwa awusekho njengombhangqwana.

Ukubonga, ukwazisa, uthando, izenzo ezincane, isikhathi esihle, nothando ngomunye nomunye ebudlelwaneni sekuqalile ukuncipha. Nisebenzisana ukufeza imigomo yobudlelwano bemali yokuthenga indlu, imoto, njll. kodwa asikho isikhala noma intando yokwenza izenzo zothando ezishiwo ngenhla.

Uma kunjalo, sekuyisikhathi sokulungisa lokho, chaza kabusha isibopho, noma ucabange kabusha ubudlelwano. Ngoba mhlampe usufike esigabeni sokuthi ukhululeke uma uthandana kodwa ungekho othandweni. Lokhu akusona isiqhathaniso sothando olunethezekile vs uthando oluvuthayo. Zombili lezi zinhlobo zibalulekile futhi zinempilo. Indaba yizinga lokunethezeka lapha okuholele ekuzitheleleni ngeshwa. Ake sibheke ezinye zezimpawu zokuthi ukhululekile ebudlelwaneni kodwa awusothandweni.

1. Nobabili nisohambweni oluhlukene

Nobabili nithuthukile, okungokwemvelo, kodwa ngezindlela eziphambene. Ngezindlela ezimbalwa, umane ungamboni umuntu owathandana naye futhi awufuni ukwazi le nguqulo entsha. Lokhu kuyiqiniso nakubangane. U-Jasmine ukhuluma ngezinkinga zakhe zothando futhi uthi, “Uma othile engibuza ukuthi, “Ingabe izithandani zihlale zithandana?”, ngingathi cha.

Ebudlelwaneni bothando ngisho nobungane, abantu abaphonsela inselelo omunye nomunye futhi baguquke ngendlela yokuthi izindinganiso zabo nezinkolelo zabo eziyinhloko ziqhubeka ziqondana ngisho nangemva kweminyaka neminyaka, banenhlanhla noma kudingeke bayeke ukungqubuzana okuningi noma izindawo zokungahambisani ukuze babeke phambili ubuhlobo babo.

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2. Alikho ilukuluku ngomlingani wakho

Awusenayo ilukuluku lokwazi ngazo. Ngihlale ngicabanga ukuthi insalela yokugcina yothando ebudlelwaneni ilukuluku. Uyabakhathalela ngokujulile, kodwa ilukuluku lokwazi okwengeziwe ngomlingani wakho liye lancipha njengoba usuqala ukucabanga ngendlela uFay ayezizwa ngayo ebudlelwaneni bakhe, “Bengilokhu ngicabanga nsuku zonke, “Yini enye entsha? Sengikubonile konke.” Ngangazi ukuthi ubudlelwano bethu babuzongena enkingeni ngaleso sikhathi.”

Uma ungenaso ilukuluku lokwazi ngemisebenzi yabo, impilo yabo yansuku zonke, i-nitty-gritty yokuthi yini ebenza babe yilokho abayikho, kungase kube isikhathi esihle sokuhlola kabusha futhi ucabange ngesikhathi lapho wawuvame ukuba nesithakazelo esintwini sabo sisonke. Phela, uma yilokho abakudingayo kumlingani, khona-ke bafanelwe ukuthi ubonise ubuhlobo ngokuphelele.

3. Ukuntuleka kwesikhathi sekhwalithi

Ukuchitha isikhathi nabo sekuyinto evamile kakhulu kunokuthile okufanele ukujabulele. Awuhleli izinto ezifana nobusuku bama-movie, ukupheka isidlo esikhethekile ndawonye, ​​ubusuku bemidlalo, ukuhlela uhambo lobusuku ndawonye , ​​​​ukuya emnyuziyamu noma kumtapo wakho owuthandayo njll. Imisebenzi efana nale iqhubeka isibuyisela othandweni 'lwethu' lobuhlobo esikhundleni sokusebenzisa u-'Mina' kanye 'nawe' ngendlela efanayo.

Kusikhumbuza ukuthi kungani sikhetha ukuba ndawonye nsuku zonke. Kusenza silangazelele ukuchitha isikhathi nomuntu esimthandayo futhi ukuntuleka kwemisebenzi enjalo kuthinta ubuhlobo ngqo. Ngakho-ke, uma ucabanga ukuthi, “Uqala nini ukuzizwa unethezekile ebudlelwaneni uze ufike ezingeni lokunganeliseki?”, yilapho ungasiboni khona iphuzu lokuqopha isikhathi esinikelwe ndawonye ngoba, “Hhayi-ke, sihlala ndawonye noma kunjalo”.

“Sihlala ndawonye kahle futhi kuletha umuzwa wokulondeka oduduzayo.Angikaze ngicabange ukuphenya ukuthi ngisamthanda kwaze kwadlula izinyanga ezimbalwa nginomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngathi,” kusho uTrevor, obesebenza ngobudlelwano bakhe nesinqandamathe sakhe ngemuva kwalokhu kuqonda.

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4. Akukho ukuzithuthukisa

Uma uyeke ukuchitha isikhathi namandla ekuzilungiseni, kungasho ukuthi ukhululekile ngokuphelele lapho ukhona futhi awusazizwa unesidingo sokugcwalisa isidingo sobudoda sokubukeka ngendlela ethile. Kodwa kungasho futhi ukuthi ulahlekelwa isithakazelo ebudlelwaneni . Awusakhathali ngendlela oziveza ngayo phambi kwabo, futhi kudlulela ngalé kokubonakala nje. Yikuphi? Lokhu kwaba njalo lapho uSam ezibuza khona, “Ingabe ngiyaphelelwa uthando noma ngikhululekile nje?”

Kubantu abaningi, ukusebenza ngokwabo, ubuntu babo kanye nezinto abazithandayo kuzenzakalela lapho befuna ukugcina abalingani babo betshaliwe futhi benentshisekelo kubo. Kodwa lezi zenzo zokuzithuthukisa ziqala ukunyamalala lapho uthatha umlingani wakho kalula futhi ugxile kakhulu endaweni yakho yokunethezeka ukuba wenze noma yini ekubekela inselele. Lokhu kungaba wuphawu lokuthi ukhululekile ebudlelwaneni kodwa hhayi othandweni.

5. Ukulangazelela omunye umuntu

Nakuba lokhu kuyinto evamile ebudlelwaneni obuthanda abantu abaningi, kungaba uphawu olukhulu lwenkinga ebudlelwaneni obuthanda abantu abaningi. Uqala ukuzizwa ukhangwa kakhulu ngomunye umuntu. Ukwakha impilo nomuntu akuwona umsebenzi wesifiso – kungumsebenzi wezingxoxo eziqhubekayo, ukuphindaphinda okukhathazayo, umsebenzi onzima wokuyeka intukuthelo nezinye izinto ezincane, nokufunda amaphethini womunye nomunye, izintshisekelo, izilimi zothando, umthwalo, izinto ezibangela ukucindezeleka, kanye nezindlela zokuxhumana.

Ukukhanga akuhlanganisi konke kwalokhu, futhi-ke, kuzwakala kulula futhi kuheha. “Ake ngikubeke kanje,” kusho uSam. “Isidingo sami sokuba nobudlelwano noma ukuthandana nomunye umuntu sase siqale ukudlula isidingo sami sokuhlala nesithandwa sami.” Izikhathi eziningi, ekusethweni komuntu oyedwa, abantu bayakunqoba lokhu kukhangwa ukuze babeke phambili ubudlelwano babo.

Kodwa uma kungenakwenzeka ukwenza kanjalo, kungase kube isikhathi sokubuza ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngomlingani wakho. Noma uzodinga ukuqala ingxoxo edingekayo kodwa enzima mayelana nokuzama ubudlelwano obuvulekile. Lesi siphakamiso sidinga ukuthi sihloselwe ukuzihlola kubo bobabili abantu. Akufanele kube umzamo wokugcina wokugcina ubudlelwano.

6. Anisancomani

Ukwazisa okuqotho ngomlingani wakho kugcina uthando nothando luphila. Uma uyekile ukwazisa izinto ezincane nezinkulu ngazo, kubonisa ukuntula ukunakwa, ukunaka, nothando. Ukubatshela ukuthi babukeka bebahle kuleyo ngubo, noma ukuthi uyayithanda indlela abaqinisekisa ngayo ukuthi uphuza amanzi anele ngosuku, noma ukuthi ukuthandile ukudla abakulungisayo, noma ubatshele ukuthi yini oyithandayo ngobuntu babo - lezi zinto ezincane zengeza ebudlelwaneni obunempilo ngokufanayo.

Ukuba sebudlelwaneni wukufuna ukuqashelwa nokufakazelwa. Uma lokho kulahlekile, khona-ke ungase ukhululeke ebuhlotsheni kodwa hhayi othandweni.

7. Ukunyamalala kancane kancane kwezinto ezincane

“Yizinto ezincane,” basho. Asiqapheli kahle uma sithanda umuntu. Izinto ezincane ziyanqwabelana ukuze zidale uthando olukhulu ngomuntu. Izinto ezincane zenza umshado wakho uqine futhi. Futhi yilokho okukhumbulayo ngazo, uma zingekho noma zingasekho phakade empilweni yakho.

Futhi yilezi zinto ezincane abantu abavame ukuzithatha kancane kancane, noma bangazinaki ngokuphelele. Njengoba besakha isisekelo sothando lwethu, akumangazi ukuthi ukuntuleka kwabo kuthinta kakhulu ubuhlobo. Ake sikhulume ngezinto ezincane.

• Ukuqaphela izinto ezincane: Uma ungasaziboni izinto ezincane ngabo, njengokushintsha kwabo iziqholo, indlela abagqoka ngayo izinwele zabo, ushintsho oluncane kodwa olusobala enkambweni yabo noma ekubukekeni kwabo, noma iresiphi entsha abayizamile, kubonisa ukuthi awusenasithakazelo ekufakazeni ngokunakekela kothando ukuphila kwabo.
• Ukwabelana ngezinto ezincane: Uma uyeke ukwabelana nabo ngezinto ezincane, lokho kuyifulegi elibomvu futhi. Kungaba yinoma yini efana nokuthile okujabulisayo okufundile namuhla, noma mhlawumbe ungabona isibhakabhaka sibukeka sisihle ngefasitela kodwa awuzizwa uthanda ukwabelana nabo ngaleso sikhathi. Izinhlansi ezincane ezinjalo zenjabulo, uma zingahlanganyelwa, zinganqwabelana phakathi kwamasonto nezinyanga, futhi zingaba uphawu lokuhlukana othandweni - uphawu lokuthi ukhululekile ebuhlotsheni kodwa hhayi othandweni. UTrevor uthi, “Impilo yayisiphenduke indlela enethezekile futhi ukwabelana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya ngokulinganayo njengabangane basemafulethini abahle kakhulu esasibe yibo.”
• Ukwenza izinto ezincane: Izenzo zomusa nokunakekela ziwulimi lothando. Ukubakhumbuza ukuthi baphuze imithi yabo, ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi isiqandisi sihlala sigcwele lelo phunga lika-ayisikhilimu abasithandayo, ukubathumela ukwaziswa kwencwadi yakamuva umlobi wayo abamthandayo, ukubabhalela inkondlo, ukuvula ingxoxo mayelana nesithakazelo sabo esikhethekile ukuze ubalalele ngothando, ukupheka ukudla abakuthandayo, nanoma yini evumelana nezithakazelo zakho nezilimi zothando - ukushukuma komzimba okunjalo kunikeza isiqinisekiso sokuthi usabambile futhi ubambe inhliziyo yakho ekucabangeni kwakho. inhlalakahle, injabulo, nenduduzo

8. Impilo yezothando nezocansi iyafa

Ingabe abashadile bahlale bethandana? Cha. Kodwa bayazama. Enye yezindlela zokwenza lokho ukugcina impilo yakho yezothando nezocansi iphila. Kodwa uma ungasakwazi ukuzihlupha ngakho, futhi uma usunethezeke kakhulu empini ephakathi kothando olunethezekile vs uthando oluvuthayo, kusho ukuthi awusathandi. Uyakhumbula lapho ungasakwazi ukulinda ukugxumela embhedeni nomlingani wakho?

Nakuba leso sigaba saphela nakanjani, uthando nokusondelana akufanele kuhambe ngokuphelele. Imibhangqwana ivamise ukusebenzisana noma nabeluleki ukuze babuyele endleleni yabo yokusondelana. Kodwa uma ungasazizwa isidingo, kungase kube uphawu lokuthi ukhululekile ebuhlotsheni kodwa hhayi othandweni.

9. Uyithatha kalula imizamo yabo

Awusazizwa ubonga obala ngezinto abazenzayo endlini. Umcabango obalulekile kanye nesenzo sokubonga akukho. Anikwazi ukuthathana kancane othandweni. Sikhohlwa ukubonga ukuba khona komunye, futhi lokhu kukhohlwa kuba umkhuba kuba ifulegi elibomvu.

“Uma izimpilo zenu zihlanganiswe ngendlela eyinkimbinkimbi kangaka, zinihlukanisa nemizwa yenu yangempela. Kungithathe isikhathi ukuqaphela ukuthi ngikhululekile ebudlelwaneni kodwa angisamthandi. Lokhu kumangala okubuhlungu kwathwala nosizi olukhulu. Ngizomkhumbula njengomlingani wami kodwa sobabili siyaqonda ukuthi lokhu (ukuhlukana) kwakuyinto enhle kakhulu ukuyenza. Ngemva kokuthatha isikhathi esithile singabangani ebudlelwaneni , sobabili siphinde sahlangana muva nje, futhi sanquma ukuthi sifuna ukuba sempilweni yomunye nomunye njengabangane,” kusho uPetal.

Uma unethezekile ebuhlotsheni bakho kodwa ungathandani, ikhaya lakho manje seliwumshini ofakwe amafutha amaningi futhi alinabo abantu ababili abahlanganyela izimpilo zabo ndawonye ngokubonga nangenjabulo. Sekuyindaba yokuba nomuntu enkampanini ngoba ungafuni ukuba wedwa, hhayi ngoba umazisa ngokweqiniso futhi umthola enentshisekelo. Sebephenduke umngane oseduze okhululekile ukukhuluma naye, kodwa abasakwazi ukuzwa uthando noma uthando ngaye.

Nakuba lokhu kudabukisa futhi kungase kubangele isiyaluyalu esikhulu, ukuzinza nomuzwa womndeni eniwunike nobabili akunakuphikwa. Uma ngempela ukhululekile nje ebudlelwaneni kodwa ungekho othandweni, kusho ukuthi imizwa isishintshile njengoba kwesinye isikhathi yenza. Lokhu kungase kuholele ekuhlukaneni, noma ungase uziphathe kahle futhi uvumele izinto zibe ngendlela eziyiyo. Ningase nizame ukushintsha ukusuka ebuhlotsheni bothando uye ebunganeni obusondelene kakhulu, noma nisebenze kukho nozakwenu ngozwelo nangenhlonipho. Inqobo nje uma nobabili nifiselana okuhle enhliziyweni, noma yisiphi isinqumo enisithathayo sizosungulwa othandweni, noma ngabe nisichaza kanjani kabusha.

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