Indlela Yokubeka Imingcele Yokuqomisana Ekuqaleni Ebudlelwaneni Bakho

Ukubeka imingcele ekuqomeni kubalulekile ekugcineni ukuxhumana okunempilo nokunenhlonipho phakathi kwabantu bobabili. Le mingcele yokuphola ayigcini nje ngokuvumela imibhangqwana ukuba ibe nobuntu babo kodwa futhi ibenza bahloniphe ukuphila komunye nomunye ngaphandle kobudlelwano.

Imingcele ebuhlotsheni obusha ichaza imikhawulo nokulindelwe phakathi kobudlelwano, iqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abathintekayo bazizwa bekhululekile, beqondwa, futhi baziswa. Ukugcina imingcele enempilo kubonisa ukuthi uyazihlonipha wena kanye nobuntu bomlingani wakho, imizwa, nezidingo.

Ngokusho kwencwadi ebhalwe nguDkt. Henry Cloud noDkt. John Townsend ebizwa ngokuthi i-Boundaries in Dating, “Ukubeka imingcele kusisiza ukuthi sigweme isizungu sethu sangaphakathi futhi sakhe umbuthano wethu wokuxhumana nabantu, kunokuba sithembele ekuqomisaneni ukuze sithole injabulo nokwaneliseka.” Ukubeka imingcele ebudlelwaneni bothando kudinga ukuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka. Lokhu kukhuthaza ukuqonda okujulile kwezifiso zomunye nomunye, imikhawulo, kanye nezindawo zokunethezeka. Ukuqomisana nomuntu ongenamingcele ngezinye izikhathi kungayilimaza impilo yakho yengqondo. Ukugcina imingcele kusiza ukuvimbela ukuthambekela kokuhambisana futhi kuvumele bobabili abalingani ukuba bakhule njengabantu ngabanye ngenkathi beseyingxenye yobuhlobo.

Ubudlelwano obunempilo bubandakanya ukukhula komuntu siqu kanye nokweseka izifiso zomunye nomunye. Udinga ukuzibekela eyakho imingcele futhi uvumele umlingani wakho ukuthi azibekele eyakhe. Lapho bobabili abalingani bephoqelela imingcele futhi behlonipha imingcele yomunye nomunye, ukwethembana kuyakhiwa futhi kuqiniswe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Abantu abaningi abakuboni ukubaluleka kwemingcele ekuqomeni. Kulesi sihloko, sizokusiza uqonde ukuthi iyini imingcele yokuthandana. Kusukela emngceleni wombhangqwana ekupholeni kuya kumathiphu ekubekeni imingcele ethile ebuhlotsheni bakho, lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi ujule esihlokweni semingcele yokuqomisana.

Iyini Imingcele Ekupholeni?

Ukubeka imingcele ekuqomeni kubhekisela emikhawulweni yomuntu siqu, imithetho, kanye neziqondiso ezibekwa abantu ukuze balondoloze inhlalakahle yabo engokomzwelo, engokomzimba, neyengqondo ngenkathi behamba ebudlelwaneni bothando. Ukubeka imingcele ebudlelwaneni obusha kubaluleke kakhulu, njengoba imingcele enempilo ibalulekile ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside.

Umsebenzisi we-Reddit uchaze ukuthi imingcele ibaluleke kangakanani ekuqaleni kokuthandana. Umsebenzisi uthe, “Ukusondelana kuhle kakhulu. Ukuzibophezela kuhle kakhulu. Kodwa zombili lezi zinto ziyaqiniswa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Angibathandi abantu abazama ukungifaka esikhundleni sokuba ngumlingani we-insta ngokusebenzisa amagama ezilwane ezifuywayo ngokushesha, benze imibono yocansi esobala, noma babhekisele ebudlelwaneni bethu besikhathi esizayo ngaphambi kokuba kucace ukuthi sobabili siyakuthanda lokho.”

Abantu abaningi abazi ukuthi umqondo wemingcele yokuthandana nobudlelwano ungokoqobo nokuthi le mibono emibili ihluke kakhulu komunye nomunye. Imingcele yokuthandana ihilela ukumisa imingcele yomuntu siqu yokuxhumana, ukusondelana ngokomzimba, kanye nokuzibandakanya ngokomzwelo ngenkathi ujwayelana nothile. Imingcele yobudlelwano iyaqhubeka, ichaza okulindelwe, ukwethembana, ukuhlukaniswa, kanye nezindinganiso ezabiwe. Nakuba isimo semingcele yokuthandana nobudlelwano siyiqiniso, kokubili kuqinisekisa inhlonipho, induduzo, kanye nokuqondana phakathi kwabalingani.

Ukubeka imingcele kubalulekile ekugcineni ukuguquguquka okunempilo, ukuqinisekisa ukuhloniphana, kanye nokukhuthaza ubudlelwano obuhambisana nezidingo namagugu zozakwethu ngamunye. Bobabili abalingani kufanele babeke imingcele efanele ebudlelwaneni babo, njengoba kuzobasiza kuphela ukuthi baguquke kangcono njengabantu. Ukuhlonipha imingcele yabanye akubonisi nje isimilo somuntu kodwa kuveza uthando lwakhe kumlingani wakhe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izinhlobo Ezi-7 Zemingcele Ebudlelwaneni Besibopho Esiqinile

10 Imingcele Yokuqomisana Okufanele

Ngokusho kocwaningo , “Ebuhlotsheni obunemingcele engemihle singase singabi nolwazi, noma sicabange ukuthi umlingani wethu uzizwa ngendlela efanayo nathi kunoma yiziphi izimo ezahlukene lapho singase seqe khona imingcele efanele ngengozi okubangela ukungaqondani, mhlawumbe nobuhlungu obukhulu.” Umngcele oyisisekelo ukuthola nokuhlonipha imvume yomunye nomunye kukho konke ukuxhumana, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, noma okusondelene. Bobabili abalingani kufanele bazizwe bekhululekile ukuveza imingcele yabo futhi bayihloniphe ngaphandle kokucindezelwa noma ukuphoqelelwa.

Imingcele ethile yokuqomisana ebhekwa 'njengokufanele ube nayo' ingahluka kuye ngokuncamelayo komuntu ngamunye, amanani, namazinga wokunethezeka. Nokho, nansi imingcele eyishumi okufanele uyibeke lapho uthandana evame ukubhekwa njengebalulekile ekukhuthazeni ubudlelwano obunempilo nobuhloniphekile:

1. Imingcele engokomzwelo

Abalingani kufanele bahlale beqinisekisa ukuthi babeka imingcele yemizwa ebudlelwaneni . Lokhu kufaka phakathi:

• Ukucaca mayelana nokutholakala kwakho ngokomzwelo
• Ukwabelana ngolwazi lomuntu siqu ngesivinini okhululekile ngaso
• Ukungazizwa ubophekile ukudalula yonke into ngawe ekuqaleni kobudlelwano

Ukubeka le mingcele kungasiza ukuphatha okulindelekile futhi kugweme ubuhlungu benhliziyo obungaba khona.

2. Imingcele engokomzimba

Wena nomlingani wakho kufanele nibeke imithetho ethile eyisisekelo yemingcele engokomzimba neyocansi. Imingcele engokomzimba ekuqomisaneni ihilela ukukhuluma ngazo zonke izici zokusondelana ngokomzimba, njengokubambana ngezandla, ukuqabulana, ukugonana, kanye nemisebenzi esondelene kakhulu. Khumbula, okubalulekile lapha ukugwema okukwenza uzizwe ungakhululekile. Xoxani futhi nivumelane ngokuthi yiliphi izinga lokusondelana ngokomzimba enikhululekile ngalo. Qiniseka ukuthi bobabili abalingani basesimweni esifanayo futhi bahlonipha imingcele yomunye nomunye. Izinga lokunethezeka lomlingani ngamunye kufanele lihlonishwe, futhi imvume ekuqomisaneni kufanele ibe yinto eza kuqala lapho kubekwa imingcele engokomzimba ekuqomisaneni.

3. Imingcele yokuxhumana

Kuthiwa, “Uma sikhuluma kancane, amazwi ethu asho lukhulu.” Nokho, lokhu akulona neze iqiniso ebudlelwaneni. Ubudlelwano budinga ukuxhumana okuningi okuthembekile nokuqonda. Awukwazi ukuphila ngokulindelekile okungenangqondo kokuthi umlingani wakho akwazi ukukuqonda ngaphandle kokuthi ukhiphe ngisho nelilodwa igama. Akekho onamakhono amahle kangaka obudlelwane. Ngakho-ke, beka umngcele wengxoxo evulekile mayelana nemizwa, ukukhathazeka, kanye nalokho okulindele. Izingxoxo ezivamile zingasiza ekuvimbeleni ukungezwani futhi zakhe ukwethembana.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokuthuthukisa Ukuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni

4. Imingcele yezenhlalo

Ukuqomisana nomuntu ongenamingcele kungakugcina uqhelelane nenhlalo yakho futhi kukwenze ungabi nokuzethemba obunakho. Imingcele yezenhlalo iphathelene nokusebenzelana nabangane, umndeni, nabantu obajwayele. Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngokuthi kungakanani ukubandakanyeka ofuna umlingani wakho abe nakho emibuthanweni yakho yokuxhumana nabantu futhi okuphambene nalokho. Khuluma nalokho okulindele ngokuphathelene nokuxhumana nabangaphambili noma abangani bobulili obuhlukile. Xoxa ngalokho okhululekile ngakho futhi usungule ukwethembana ngezingxoxo ezivulekile.

5. Isikhala somuntu siqu kanye nokuzimela

Ngesikhathi usebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukugcina umuzwa wobuntu bakho futhi ubeke imingcele yombhangqwana ukuze ulondoloze isikhala kanye nezintshisekelo zomuntu ngamunye. Xoxani ngokuthi nidinga isikhathi esingakanani nobabili ukuze nihlanganyele ezintweni enizithandayo nezintshisekelo zenu. Futhi cacisani ukuthi nizimisele ukuchitha isikhathi esingakanani nabangani kanye namalungu omndeni. Lokhu kuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abalingani banesikhathi sabo, okubalulekile ebudlelwaneni obunempilo.

6. Imingcele yesikhathi

Ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye. Kodwa futhi kudingeka uqale ukubeka imingcele mayelana nokuthi singakanani isikhathi enisichitha ndawonye futhi ninqume ukuthi nibulinganisela kanjani ubuhlobo benu neminye imithwalo yemfanelo. Beka imingcele ecacile mayelana nendlela ozophatha ngayo isikhathi sakho ndawonye futhi nihlukene. Linganisa ubudlelwano bakho nomsebenzi, umndeni, abangani, nesikhathi sokuphumula somuntu siqu.

7. Izinqamuli zezivumelwano nezingaxoxiswana

Wonke umuntu unezimiso ezithile, izinkolelo, kanye nokuziphatha akubheka njengokuphula isivumelwano ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kungafaka izinto ezifana nalezi:

• Ukuthembeka
• Ukuhloniphana
• Fidelity
• Amagoli okuphila okwabelwana ngawo

Yiba nezingxoxo mayelana nemigomo yesikhathi eside, izindinganiso, kanye nezifiso. Kubalulekile ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi izindlela zakho zempilo ziyahambisana ukuze ugweme izingxabano ezinkulu emgwaqweni. Xhumana ngokusobala nezinto okungaxoxiswana ngazo kusenesikhathi ukuze ugweme ukungezwani kamuva. Ukuphumela obala ngalokhu kungakongela bobabili ozakwethu isikhathi nosizi.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izinkinga Zobudlelwano Eziphezulu Ezingu-20 Okungafanele Zibekezelelwe

8. Imingcele yokusondelana

Ukusondelana kuhlanganisa izici ezingokomzwelo, zomzimba, kanye nezobulili zobudlelwano. Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngamazinga enduduzo yakho, izifiso, kanye nemingcele mayelana nezenzo zocansi. Imvume kufanele itholakale futhi ihlonishwe njalo kunoma yisiphi isimo sobulili. Ngezinye izikhathi ukwenqaba ucansi kuyinto esivame ukuyigwema ngoba sikhathazekile ngokucasula umlingani wethu. Kodwa ikhono lokuthi cha ezintweni eziphikisana nezimiso zakho noma ukungahloniphi isikhathi sakho namandla akho liphakathi kwemingcele ebalulekile yomuntu siqu okudingeka imibhangqwana eminingi iyilingise.

9. Ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo

Lapho nithandana, kubalulekile ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo bomunye nomunye, okuhlanganisa ubumfihlo bedijithali. Xoxani ngokuthi nizosingatha kanjani izindaba ezinjengokusebenzelana kwenkundla yezokuxhumana, ukwabelana ngamaphasiwedi, ukufunda imilayezo yomunye nomunye, nezinye izici zobumfihlo bomuntu siqu.

10. Ukuvumelana nezimo nokuvuleleka

Nakuba imingcele ibalulekile, kubalulekile futhi ukuvuleleka ekuyekethiseni nasekuguquguqukeni njengoba ubuhlobo buqhubeka. Njengoba nazana kangcono , ungathola ukuthi eminye imingcele ingalungiswa noma ukuthi kudingeke ibekwe emisha. Umuntu ngamunye angase abe nemingcele eyengeziwe eqondene nezintandokazi zakhe kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kwangaphambilini. Isihluthulelo ukuba nezingxoxo ezivulekile, ezinenhlonipho nokuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abalingani bazizwa bebalulekile, bekhululekile, futhi beqondakala ebuhlotsheni.

Ukubeka nokuhlonipha imingcele ekupholeni kuwumthwalo wemfanelo ofanayo. Bobabili abalingani kufanele bakhulume ngokukhululekile, balalele izidingo zomunye nomunye, futhi benze umzamo obonakalayo wokuqinisekisa ukuthi ubudlelwano busekelwe ekuhlonipheni, ekuvumelaneni nasekuqondeni. Imingcele enempilo inomthelela ekuxhumaneni kwezothando okwanelisayo nokwesekayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Umzamo Ebudlelwaneni: Lokho Okushoyo Nezindlela Eziyi-12 Zokukubonisa

Indlela Yokubeka Imingcele Yokuqomisana Ekuqaleni Ebudlelwaneni Bakho

Ukubeka imingcele yokuqomisana ekuqaleni kobudlelwano kubalulekile ekusunguleni ukuqondana, inhlonipho, kanye nesisekelo esinempilo. Nansi inkomba yesinyathelo ngesinyathelo yokuthi ungasetha kanjani imingcele yokuqomisana:

1. Ukuzicabangela

Ngaphambi kokuxoxa ngemingcele nomlingani wakho, zinike isikhathi sokucabanga ngezidingo zakho, izindinganiso zakho, kanye namazinga enduduzo yakho. Cabanga ngalokho okhululekile ngakho, maqondana nokusondelana ngokomzimba , ukuvama kokuxhumana, isikhathi esichithwa ndawonye, ​​​​nokuningi. Isibonelo:

• Khuluma ngezinto ezikwenza ungakhululeki ngenkathi wenza uthando
• Babuze ukuthi balungile yini ngendlela obathinta ngayo nokuziphatha eduze kwabo

2. Qala ingxoxo

Sondela engxoxweni ngesimo sengqondo esihle futhi esingaphikisani. Nansi indlela ongayenza ngayo:

• Okokuqala, ungaveza ukuthi uyabazisa kangakanani ubudlelwano
• Kamuva, ungabatshela ukuthi ungathanda ukuba nengxoxo evulekile mayelana nokubeka imingcele
• Yenza umlingani wakho azizwe eyigugu futhi ehlonishwa kuyo yonke ingxoxo

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Indlela Yokuqala Ingxoxo Nentombazane: Izindlela Ezingu-20 Ezingasoze Zahluleka

3. Khetha isikhathi nendawo efanele

Indawo nesilungiselelo nakho kudlala indima enkulu engxoxweni enempilo. Ngakho, nakhu ongakwenza:

• Gwema ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezibucayi endaweni eminyene eneziphazamiso
• Thola indawo enethezekile neyimfihlo lapho ungaba nengxoxo eqotho futhi ukuxhumana okuvulekile
• Khetha isikhathi lapho nobabili nikhululekile futhi ningagxila engxoxweni, ngaphandle kweziphazamiso

4. Lalelisisa

Ingxoxo ephumelelayo yilapho izinhlangothi zombili zizimisele ukulalelana nokuqondana. Kufanele kube ingxoxo ethintana ngezindlela ezimbili, egcizelela kakhulu ukuqonda imibono yomunye nomunye. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba isilaleli esihle . Nakhu ongakwenza ukuze ube nengxoxo ephumelelayo:

• Nikeza umlingani wakho ithuba lokwabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yakhe mayelana nemingcele
• Lalela ngokucophelela futhi ugweme ukuphazamisa

5. Xoxisanani nivumelane

Ukuze wenze ubudlelwano busebenze, udinga ukuyekethisa ezintweni ezimbalwa futhi lokho kulungile ngokuphelele. Kungase kube nezindawo lapho imingcele yakho ihluka khona kwekazakwenu. Ezimweni ezinjalo, xoxani lapho eningavumelana khona. Vula ukuthola indawo emaphakathi ehlonipha izidingo zakho zombili.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izinto Ezingu-17 Ezingaxoxiswani Ebudlelwaneni Okungafanele Uziyekethise

6. Cacisa futhi ucacise

Veza ngokucacile imizwa yakho nemingcele yakho usebenzisa izibonelo ezithile. Gwema izinkulumo ezingacacile. Kunalokho, nikeza izimo eziqondile ukuze ubonise amaphuzu akho. Isibonelo, ungathi, “Ngikhululekile ngokubamba izandla nokugona, kodwa ngingathanda ukuthatha izinto kancane kancane maqondana nokusondelana ngokomzimba.”

Khumbula, ukubeka imingcele kumayelana nokudala indawo ephephile nehloniphekile yabo bobabili ozakwethu. Ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo kanye nokuzimisela ukulalela nokuqondana kuyisihluthulelo sokumisa imingcele ephumelelayo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.

Kungase kube nezimo lapho imingcele yakho yehluka khona kweyomlingani wakho. Kulezi zimo, khuluma ngezindawo ezingase zivumelane. Kunemingcele ethile okufanele uyibeke lapho uphola futhi kubalulekile ukwenza kanjalo. Cabangani ngokuthi ninethezeke kangakanani ukusondelana ngokomzimba nobabili, ukuthi nikhuluma kaningi kangakanani, singakanani isikhathi enisichitha ndawonye, ​​nezinye izici. Beka umkhawulo ukuze uvikele indawo yakho nezintshisekelo zomuntu ngamunye. Xoxa ngalokho okulindele ekukhulumisaneni nalabo ababekade bethandana. Bobabili abashadile kufanele babeke imingcele ecacile ebudlelwaneni babo ngoba ukwenza kanjalo kuzobasiza ukuba bakhule ngokwabo.

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