Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ekuphephetha Futhi Ebuya

Ake sisuse into eyodwa endleleni – wonke umuntu uke waba nesipoki, okungenani kanye empilweni yakhe. Uma othile ekutshela okuhlukile, uqamba amanga noma uyizintandokazi zikaNkulunkulu. Kunzima ukuthola ukuthi ungasabela kanjani ku-ghosting. Kuwumuzwa omubi ogcina usulele embhedeni wakho ngobhavu kaBen noJerry kanye nohlu oluphelele lwezinto ocabanga ukuthi ubungayenza ngendlela ehlukile. Futhi sonke siyazi ukuthi asikho isidingo sokuzibuza, "Kungani wangibulala?". Kodwa izinto zingaba zimbi nakakhulu. Lapho nje usuqhubeke, kuvela umbhalo ovela kuye. Ukuzihlonipha kuyaqala, ukungazethembi kuqala ukungena, futhi ukukhathazeka kuba umngane wakho omkhulu. Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele uyenze lapho ekudlile futhi ebuya? 

Uthukuthele futhi ufuna ukwazi ngesikhathi esifanayo. Isibindi sokuvela ngemuva nje kokukushiya phakathi nengxoxo, obucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi seyihambile!

Kodwa usacabanga ngombhalo awuthumele, akunjalo? Ngisho nangemva kokuba uthumelele abangani bakho umyalezo othi, “Wangifaka isipoki!”, bonke abangani bakho bakhuluma ngaye njengoba kwenza abangani abahle, futhi kwagcina emazwini ende mayelana nendlela omzonda ngayo nokuthi akasakukhumbuli kanjani. Kuhle ukuthi usithole ke ukuze sikusize uma kuvela isipoki futhi.

Kusho Ukuthini Uma Insizwa Ikuphephetha Iphinde Ibuye

Umugqa owodwa kanye nesiliva kuphela ukuthola isipoki yisiqiniseko sokuthi ngeke uphinde ubhekane nalo muntu. Uma usucabangile ukuthi yini okumele uyenze uma ekudlubulundela, amahloni nemizwa exakile igcina iphelile, usuphole uthole amandla okuzikhipha emhlabeni futhi. Njengoba nje ugxile kulelo nothi lokuhle, kuvele umbhalo ocingweni lwakho. Qagela ukuthi ubani? Yebo, njengoba inhlanhla yakho ibingaba nayo, nguyena. Udidekile futhi ufuna ukwazi. Lokhu kungase kusho ukuthini manje? Ukuze uthole, qhubeka ufunda. 

1. Uphelelwe izinketho

Lesi yisimo okungenzeka kakhulu. Uma ekudlisa izipoki ebuya kumele wazi ukuthi ayingoba evele ekukhumbule esezisola ngokunyamalala. Yingoba akekho omunye okwamanje. Cishe usephelile Tinder okufanayo, futhi manje usebheke ukwakha phezu kwesisekelo esesibekiwe. 

Kunesizathu sokuthi kungani izipoki zihlale zibuya lapho zingekho izinketho. Ngoba bayazi ukuthi usenayo imizwa ngabo futhi bazovumela isifiso sokuthumelela umyalezo. Ungaweli ngakho. Amnambithe owakhe umuthi. Ungase uhlezi ekhaya, ungenzi lutho ngangokunokwenzeka. Kodwa, akudingeki ukuthi akwazi lokho. Zibambe ungaphindi uthumele umbhalo. Okungenani, hhayi ngaphambi kwamahora angama-72.

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2. Isithukuthezi

“Wangidlisa umoya wabuya sengathi akwenzekanga lutho”, uma lokhu kuzwakala njengesimo sakho, cishe ukudlile ngenxa yesithukuthezi. Ungazithatheli mathupha, awuyena umuntu obhala umbhalo omile, unesikhathi esincane sokunaka futhi unjalo awulungele ubuhlobo bangempela. Ngakho-ke, ukhetha ukusefa izinketho zakhe, egxuma esuka kwenye iye kwenye, ekugcineni angagcinanga ndawo. 

Ungase uzizwe ufisa ukumshaya ngokubuya futhi umcele ukuba athathe umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa esikhundleni sokudlala ngemizwa yakho. Nakuba lokho kungase kulinge, sikweluleka ukuthi umane uzitike esikhwameni sama-chips. Kunoma isiphi isimo lapho ekudlile bese ebuya, thatha indlela elula futhi uchofoze u-'block'.

3. Kulula ukubuyela emuva

Ukuqomisana okusheshayo kunobubi bakho. Ukujaha, i-adventure kanye ne-adrenaline nakanjani kuzowohloka, kukushiye nesidingo sokuzwa uhlobo oluthile lokuxhumana, noma ngingalokotha ngithi - ukusondelana. Yingakho nje izipoki zibuya ngemva kwezinyanga ukuze zizwe lokho kuthinta kancane kwesibopho. Babazi ukuthi banento enhle ehamba nawe, kodwa ngomzuzu iqala ukuba ngokoqobo, banyamalala. Yeka indlela okubikezelwa ngayo! 

Mhlawumbe isipoki sabuya sacela uxolo kuwe. Kodwa ingabe kwakuyiqiniso? Uma kungenjalo, leli yithuba lakho lembuyiselo. Ufuna ukuthi azwe ukungahlaliseki kanye nokungabaza owakuzwa? Hhayi-ke, alikho ithuba elingcono kunaleli.

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4. Akakuthandi uqhubeka

Ubone ukuthi uzobhekana kanjani nesipoki kanti akakuthandi. Uma ekubona siqhubekela phambili futhi ukuzijabulisa, cishe kulimaza i-ego yakhe ekhukhumele. Ukucasuka kwakhe ngeke kumvumele ukuthi akwamukele ukuthi awuzange udabuke ngokuphelele enhliziyweni yakhe, yingakho ezophinde azame ukufinyelela. Kuqinisekisiwe ukuthi "hey, wassup?" ukuthi usanda kungena kuma-DM akho kuzothatha isikhala engqondweni yakho. Noma kunjalo, kulapho udinga ukuzikhulumela kancane. Uma ekudlile futhi ebuya, awudingi ukuba utholakale kuye ngokushesha. Zitshele ukuthi ekugcineni udlulele phambili, ujabulile futhi unempilo. Ungakulahli lokhu. Uthole ukuthi ungasabela kanjani ku-ghosting, ungadlula nalokhu.

5. Uzizwa enecala

Manje lokhu kungase kube nzima kakhulu ukuzwa. Ungase uzibuze ukuthi kungani izipoki zizizwa zinecala njengoba kwaba ukukhetha kwazo. Ukhethe ukuhamba engxoxweni nakuwe. Cishe ucabanga ukuthi, “Ayikho indlela azizwa enecala ngayo ngoba ecabanga ukuthi ungizwise ubuhlungu.” Ake ngikutshele, uqinisile. Kungenzeka ukuthi isipoki sabuya saxolisa futhi kungenzeka ukuthi siyiqiniso. Kodwa kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi uzisola ngani. Izikhathi eziningi, icala liyanda ngenxa yokuzisola ngezenzo zakhe, hhayi ngoba ngokuzumayo waba imizwa ngawe. Uma ekudlile bese ebuya, ufuna ukuthi umnikeze ukuvala, ukuze umtshele ukuthi izenzo zakhe azikulimazanga futhi ulungile, ngakho-ke angahamba engenacala.

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6. Kukhona owamfaka umoya

O, i-karma emnandi! Isikhathi kuphela lapho uqonda ngempela ukuthi kungani umuntu alimale kangaka kungemuva kokuba into eyenzekile kuwena ngqo. Wafikelwa isipoki. Njengawe, waqala ukubamba imizwa kothile, wakha amathemba futhi wawabona ehwamuka lapho umuntu eshabalala emoyeni. 

Kungokwemvelo ukuthi lezi zipoki ziphindele ezimpilweni zalabo abake bagila nabo esikhathini esidlule, labo ababebabhuqa. Bafika benethemba emehlweni abo ukuthi ungase uzimisele ukubaxolela futhi ubabuyisele phakathi.

Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ebuya Ngemva Kokubhuqa

Sesivele sitholile ukuthi kungani bekwenza isipoki bese bebuya. Manje, ake sisebenze kulokho okufanele ukwenze, yiziphi izinyathelo okudingeka uzithathe ukuze uvikele leyo nhliziyo yakho ethambile.  

Sinezinketho ezimbalwa zokuthi wenzeni uma ekudlile bese ebuya. Asifuni ukuthi sigcine senza amaphutha afanayo. Kodwa-ke, futhi asifuni ukuqina nokubanda ngokuphelele.

1. Thola ukuthi yini oyifunayo

Lapho ekudlisa izipoki futhi ebuya, eminye yemizwa ecindezelwe nakanjani izovuka. Zibuze ukuthi inhliziyo yakho ifisani ngempela. Ingabe uyafuna mnike elinye ithuba naphezu kwengozi edlangile yesikhathi esidlule eziphindayo? Noma ungakhetha ukusebenzisa lawo mandla, isikhathi, kanye nemigqa yokulanda komunye umuntu? Uma wenza lesi sinqumo esishintsha impilo, qiniseka ukuthi uphakeme ekubekezeleni. Abantu abashintshi ngokuphazima kweso futhi naye ngeke ashintshe.

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2. Qhubekela phambili

Kulungile, usebuyile empilweni yakho, ukunikeze incazelo eyisisekelo yokuthi kungani enyamalele, manje sekwenzenjani? Ingabe kwanele ngawe? Ingabe wanelisekile ngomzamo omncane ophonswa kuwena? Uma impendulo yakho ingucha, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi qhubekela phambili ebuhlotsheni. Nginomuzwa wokuthi lena impendulo enenani eliphezulu kakhulu ekuphepheni kwesipoki.

Akumangazi ukuthi usebuyile empilweni yakho. Uma uzibuza ukuthi yimaphi amaphesenti ezipoki abuyayo, ake ngikutshele, iningi lawo. Uzohlala ufuna incazelo yokuthi kungani bakudlile futhi ngenxa yalokhu, bazohlala benesandla esiphezulu. Kanje Umsebenzisi we-Reddit, owavuma ukuthi unesifiso sokuthumela umbhalo wokuvala kumfana owamdlisa isipoki. 

Buyisela amandla, ungafuni ukuvala bese uvele uqhubeke. Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza? Ngiyazi, kodwa lapho ekudlile futhi ebuya, lesi yisinqumo esinempilo kunazo zonke ongazithathela wena.

3. Yenza sengathi awuzange uqaphele ukuthi akasekho

Lena indlela engiyithanda kakhulu yokubhekana nesipoki. Ungase uthukuthele ugane unwabu ucabanga ukuthi, "Wangidlisa umoya futhi wabuya sengathi akwenzekanga lutho. Isibindi salo mfana!". Futhi ungase ube nesifiso esinamandla sokumthuka ngazo zonke izinhlamba ongazicabanga. Kodwa ungamhlula kanjani emdlalweni wakhe? Lokhu kungase kuzwakale kungenangqondo, kodwa kuzokongela isikhathi esiningi obungasichitha uzithela ngabandayo. Yidlale kahle. Mvumele acabange ukuthi awuzange umnikeze isikhathi sosuku, ukuthi awuzange uqaphele nhlobo ukungabikho kwakhe, ngisho noma wayeyikho konke ongacabanga ngakho. 

Uma ekudlisa izipoki bese ebuya, fanisa ukuziphatha kwakho. Ziqambe. Ungaqali ukucela izincazelo ngaso leso sikhathi. Uyozihlinzeka, engabuzwanga. Ekugcineni, udinga yekela okwedlule kanye nomuntu. Uthole obukufuna wagcina usuzizwa ungcono ngawe. Umgomo wethu lapha ufinyelelwe.

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4. Thola ukuthi uyazisola ngempela yini

Qaphela manje, lokhu kuyingozi. Cabanga ngokuhamba egqumeni elishelelayo ngosuku lwemvula. Kufanele uqikelele kanjalo-ke uma ekudlisa umoya bese ebuya ngoba ecabanga ukuthi wenze iphutha. Kodwa kungani insizwa izokudukisa uma ikuthanda? Akuvamile, kodwa kwezinye izimo, umfana kungenzeka ukuthi ubenesizathu sangempela sokuya ku-MIA. Ngakho yebo, kunethuba lokuthi imizwa yakhe ingeyeqiniso, ukuthi ufuna ukuvala isikhathi esilahlekile nokuthi uthembisa ukuhlala futhi enze kangcono. Nokho, angase avele aphele ukuphula inhliziyo yakho futhi.

Uma uqinisekile ukuthi uyindoda eshintshile (qiniseka kakhulu), qhubeka futhi umdubule. Mhlawumbe, mhlawumbe, angase agcine ekwenza uzizwe uziqhenya ngesinqumo osithathile.

5. Wake waba isipoki, njalo uyisipoki

Into ewukuthi, ngisho ngokungazi, izipoki zingena umkhuba wokugxuma zisuka komunye ziye komunye. Yingakho amadoda ephuca abesifazane. Manje, kungenzeka ukuthi basanda kuqala ukuzijabulisa ngokuswayiphela kwesokudla nakwesokunxele, bekhuluma noma ngisho ukuthandana nabantu abaningi kodwa ithuba lokuba namathemba amaningi kangaka yilo elibaqhubayo ukuthi benze abakwenzayo. Lesi ngesinye sezizathu ezenza izipoki zihlale zibuya; bathanda ukuba nezinketho eziningi. Akuvamile ukuthi bacabange ukuthatha isikhathi sokumazi ngokuphelele umuntu ngaphambi kokwenza isinqumo esilandelayo. Konke kumayelana nokuphila okwamanje. 

A Reddit umsebenzisi wabelane ngokuthi wahamba nomfana, owayelokhu ehlela izinsuku futhi ekhansela njengoba "yayingakakulungeli ubudlelwano ngoba isencane futhi ifuna ukuhlola." Wabe esephakamisa ukuthi babe abangani, futhi wamfaka umoya. Umfana wathumela umbhalo futhi ngemva kweminyaka engu-4, futhi waphakamisa ukuphola futhi. Lapho ebuza ukuthi kungani ezizwa ekulungele ukuqoma manje, wena, uqagele, wamphinda futhi. 

Cabanga ngalokhu. Ingabe insizwa izokubulala uma ikuthanda? Ezimweni eziningi, cha, ngeke. Kungakho uma ekudlisa izipoki ebuya kumele uhlale ukhumbula ukuthi uqaphile. Uke wakudlisa umoya futhi angaphinda futhi.

I-6. Qiniseka

Lokhu kungase kube into eyingozi kakhulu owelulekwa ukuba uyenze. Uma kungekho neyodwa yezinketho ezingenhla ebonakala ikusebenzela, ke thembeka, ikakhulukazi kuwena kuqala, bese kuba nguye. Mtshele kahle ukuthi uzizwe kanjani, ukuthi kukuthukuthelise kangakanani futhi ubuze isizathu sokuthi kungani. Uma ungumuntu olahlekelwa ubuthongo ngenxa yalokhu, khona-ke ukwethembeka kuwukuphela kwenketho onayo. Lena enye impendulo enenani eliphezulu ekuphefumuleni isipoki njengoba ixazulula inkinga unomphela futhi ikusindise emahoreni noma ngisho nezinsuku zokucabanga ngokweqile.

Kodwa-ke, udinga ukwazi ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi ukhetha ukwethembeka akusho ukuthi kuzobuyiselwa. Okwenza amadoda abe yizipoki zabesifazane kwasekuqaleni kungenxa yokuthi abanalo isifiso noma ikhono lokukhuluma ngesimo sabo. Ngakho ukwethembeka kungase kubangele amahloni, angase athi wenza into enkulu ngokungenzi lutho noma ungase ungayitholi nhlobo impendulo. Kodwa uma kukhona into eyodwa ozoba nayo manje, ukulala kahle ebusuku. Ubufuna ukuba qotho kuwena, ngakho uthathe ithuba. Ngeke wazi, kungase kugcine kuvune wena.

Siyazi abafana abafana nalaba kunzima ukumelana nabo. Ubuhle, ingxoxo engenamsebenzi, kanye nezwi lebhesi konke kukwenza ukholelwe ukuthi bafanelwe ithuba lesibili. Abanye ngokuqinisekile bangase kodwa abanye ngokuqinisekile abakwenzi. Thola ukuthi umi kuphi kule spectrum ngaphambi kokuthi ufake inhliziyo yakho emkhonweni wakho, futhi.

Infographic Ngokumele Ukusho Uma Isipoki Sibuya

Ngokuvamile, akukho mpendulo kuyindlela yokuhamba lapho isipoki sibuya. Kodwa uma kufanele uphendule, ziningi izindlela ongazisebenzisa. Ungaba oqondile futhi uqonde, ukusetha imingcele enempilo kusukela ekuqaleni. Uma ungasafuni ukukhuluma, ungasho lokho ngokushesha futhi uqhubeke nempilo yakho. Kodwa uma ufuna ukuqhubeka nengxoxo, ungakwazi ukuveza imizwa yakho ngokwethembeka futhi ucele incazelo noma ukuxolisa ngaphambi kokuqhubekela phambili. Noma ungaphendula ngokuthile okuphoxayo noma okubhuqayo ukuze ubazise ukuthi upholile kakhulu ngemidlalo yabo ewubuwula.

Imicabango Final

Uma isipoki sibhala umbhalo futhi, kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa udidekile futhi ulimele. Yize zingekho izibalo eziqondile zokuthi yimaphi amaphesenti ezipoki abuyayo, impendulo ithi: kuningi. Ikakhulukazi, ababuyi ngoba bezizwa benecala, kodwa ngoba bezizwa benesithukuthezi noma belangazelela ukusondelana, noma bengathandi nje ukukubona uqhubeka. Kunoma yikuphi, kufanele uqaphele futhi uhlale uqaphile. Thembeka kuwe ngokwakho, thola ukuthi yini oyifunayo, bese wenza ngokufanele.

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